The Biggest Secrets
by linalollinarotic
Summary: A story about a girl who overthinks everything and a boy who hangs out with the wrong crowd. AH
1. Chapter 1

:)

**This is going to be a nice short story. At first I wanted it to be a one-shot, but then the page numbers began to grow and I knew that idea was out. So instead I'm going to write the story of the one-shot, but in longer format. **

**So this is just a little fun read that I've written because I can't sleep. I hope you enjoy it, and please don't judge too harshly!**

**The Biggest Secret**

1. Caving In

"Alice, I don't _want_ to go there!" I insisted, the last of a thousand times. I knew I was beginning to sound whiny, but I was too mortified by the idea of what she was literally trying to dragging me along to, to care much.

"Please, Bella?" Alice begged, turning to me with her wide, pleading eyes. She didn't have to look up at my face as much as usual thanks to the four-inch heels that graced her feet. Bright pink pumps. They made me terrified just looking at them, and I wasn't even the one wearing them.

Her heartbreaking expression deepened. "Please, please, _please_? I don't care that I'm starting to sound like a five-year old. I need you with me for this."

I let out a huge breath unhappily, crossing my arms over my chest. "But that's just the point—I don't think you actually do. How do I have anything to do with you going to a party?"

And not just any party—_Edward Cullen's_ party. Sure to be the highlight of the year. Just about everybody was going, and that was exactly why I didn't want to. Why should I do something just because everyone else is? I had no interest in going to _his_ party, where there would just be a bunch of horny teenagers rubbing up against each other and dancing to incredibly bad music so they could feel part of the crowd.

Please. Edward Cullen was the leader of that crowd. I would die before I showed up amongst them.

"Bella," Alice said slowly, reaching for my hands. She grasped them firmly in her tiny yet fierce grip. Like she was trying to communicate something to me without actual words. Her eyes grew even wider, if that was possible.

"This is not just any party. Please, you know I wouldn't beg you like this if it wasn't serious! I don't even care this time that it's the biggest party yet—and that's something, right? All that matters is that _he's_ going to be there."

He. Jasper Whitlock. None other than the receiving person of Alice's hopeless, yearning crush for the past year, and also coincidently the best friend of Edward Cullen. Only Alice's crush perhaps wasn't so hopeless. She was absolutely gorgeous, and anybody would see that by just glancing her way.

We just hadn't gotten the chance of making Jasper glance her way yet, though. It was only a matter of time.

"Can't you just talk to him at school?" I asked hopelessly.

Alice rolled her eyes at my total cluelessness about the situation. "School?" she repeated scornfully. "Why would I want us to get together at school? That is just too unoriginal. And plus," she added, straightening up impressively, "I didn't spend all this time getting myself ready and finding the perfect outfit to have it waisted."

She was right, in one respect: Alice wore a cute little black dress that sparkled and shimmered just right as she moved around. It looked stunning on her, with her black, inky hair spiked up in a glamorous way.

"But it doesn't have to be waisted," I pointed out, taking a seat on the couch that was in mine and Alice's apartment. I sat back, snuggling into the softness, getting comfortable. "I'm not stopping you from going."

Alice's eyes narrowed. "Yes, you are. Because why would I turn up at a party by myself?"

"Take Rose," I suggested. Rose was Alice's next best friend. I didn't know her too well, but she seemed alright.

Alice sighed and stamped her foot impatiently. "But Rose is going with Emmet!"

"What?" I said. That caught my attention instantly. Emmett, the other, older, Cullen. "Well . . ." I struggled to come up with another good idea that would get her off my case.

I loved her, of course. I wanted her to go to this thing if it meant so much to her. I wanted it to be as spectacular as she imagined.

I just didn't want her dragging me along to it with her.

Alice got down on her knees, levelling with my face—my hands were still clasped in hers. "Bella. This is big for me. It's going to be _the night_. And I need you there with me for this. You're my very best friend, and I need your help." Her face was still pleading.

My resolve shifted just slightly at her sweet words.

"But look at me—I'm not ready to go to a party!" I was dressed in my usual staying-in-at-home attire. Sweats, singlet, wet hair pulled sloppily in a ponytail to dry. I even had the thick, white socks on my feet to complete the look.

I wasn't fit to go anywhere, let alone the party event of the year.

"But I can make you ready in a second!"

"What about clothing? I have nothing suitable to wear," I hedged.

Alice's stare became incredulous. "Of course you do. You just need me to pick it out for you, silly."

"But . . ."

"Look," interrupted Alice, dropping my hands and standing up back on her two heeled feet. "Enough is enough. I don't have time to waste. Are you with me or not?"

My face crumpled as my better side won out. I couldn't just leave her hanging when she was obviously depending on me so much.

"Fine," I sighed, resigned. "I'll go. But just for you. I wouldn't even consider it if it was someone else."

"_Yes_!" squealed Alice, a genuine excited grin dominating her face. She clapped her hands together gleefully. "I love you, Bella!"

And I had to smile. Just a little. She was too adorable not to.

"I love you too," I told her.

"Well, c'mon! We've got heaps to do," she said, and grabbed my hand again so she could pull me up from the couch.

I was so going to regret this. Oh well.

Alice pulled me along into my bedroom, straight across it and pushed me into the bathroom.

"Alright," she said, all business like. "You start drying your hair and I'm going to get your clothes ready."

"Okay," I agreed quickly, and she flitted out the door.

I rummaged around in one of the draws until I found my hairdryer. I plugged it in, turned it on, and went straight into trying to get my hair to dry. Quickly.

It was about three minutes later that I heard Alice's call of excitement over the loud noises of the hairdryer.

"A_ha_!" she said, her voice victorious. She strutted back into the bathroom with a very big smirk. I clicked the power switch off.

"Show me," I demanded.

Alice's grin didn't waver. "I can't believe you never showed me this. It's perfect, and I don't believe I've ever seen you wear it."

My curiosity flared. I didn't know what piece she was talking about.

She flipped it out from behind her and held it out for my inspection.

"Oh," I muttered when I realized what it was. "_That_ one."

"Yes, this one!" Alice exclaimed. "When did you get it?"

"Awhile ago, actually. It was picked out for me when my mum decided she wanted to get married to Phil, and have a big wedding, instead of the small private one they settled for. I was to wear at the reception." I frowned, thinking to myself. "And no, I haven't worn it. I think I was actually in a bikini when they got married on that beach in Hawaii."

I laughed, remembering. Alice smiled.

"Well, now you have the perfect excuse to wear it."

I rolled my eyes. "I'd argue, but I've learnt by now to trust your judgement."

"That's right," said Alice very seriously. She trailed her fingers over the soft, blue satin. "It's so _pretty_."

I grinned, resuming my hair drying. I raised my voice so I could be heard over the noise. "Maybe you can wear it sometime after tonight."

Alice looked shocked, her doe eyes widening, but then when she looked back at the dress she twisted her lips together.

"I don't think it would fit," she noted, fingering the big sating bow tied in the middle under the bust. I may have been slender, but Alice was very petite.

"We can make it fit," I told her. I shut the hairdryer off again and ran a hand through my long hair. "And I think my hair is officially dry."

Alice smiled so wide it looked like it hurt her face. "Good." Then she tilted her head to the side, thinking. "You can just leave your hair the way it is," she mused. "It looks fantastic out."

"Aw, thanks, Al," I laughed. "I'm glad I have your permission."

"Now," she said, "you need to get into this." She handed me the dress which was still on the hanger. I was pretty sure the tags were still present on the garment and everything.

I nodded my head. "Gotcha."

"And while you do that—_quickly_—I'm going to pick footwear!"

"Remember to be nice to my poor feet!" I called out after her, as she'd already dashed into my bedroom. There was no way I was going to wear shoes that were anything like hers. I am clumsy enough as it is.

I pulled my top over my head and shimmied out of my sweats so I could lower the silky dress down my body. I fit it into place, and turned so I could see it on me in the mirror.

I had to admit it looked good. It was just the right shape for someone with a body like mine. I had curves, but some things made them disappear entirely. But not this. This was good.

"Alice," I called, walking out of the bathroom. I needed her to help zip me up the back where my hands couldn't reach.

I found her on her hands and knees, burrowing through my closet a she searched for suitable footwear. My bedroom wasn't overly large, but it was nice; clean, white walls with a smooth carpet and a huge bed that had a very pretty, very intricate golden pattern sparkling on it.

When I came up behind her, Alice straightened up so she was on her knees, a shoe clasped in her hand and a very smug smile on her face.

"I got you," she declared, holding it up like it was on display. "Classic, pretty, funky and entirely Bella-proof. This is the one." The she looked up at me.

"Yes?" she asked innocently.

"Zipper?" I turned so my back was to her so she could see what I meant.

"Oh, right," she said, and dropped the shoe so she could spring back up on her feet and zip me up.

"Oooh, nice, Bella," she commented, staring at my back. "Black underwear."

I scowled and spun back around. "Shut up," I mumbled, fidgeting again with the dress. "Is this alright, do you think?"

"Alright?" Alice repeated mockingly. "It's bloody perfect. Now put these babies on your feet so we can head out." She bent to pick up the shoes she'd just discarded in her enthusiasm to help out.

Wow. Pretty good for Alice. She'd chosen my white peep toes that had a black bow on each one. Heels, yes, but nice ones at that. I could walk in these, I was sure.

I nodded wordlessly and sat on the edge of my bed so I could slip my feet into them. Then I stood up and spun around.

Alice clapped her hands. "Go Bella! You're gonna knock 'em dead."

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief at her when I'd come full circle.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't start with that. You know you're perfectly capable of getting any guy you wish. Your are so pretty."

I opened my mouth to argue, but she knew me well. She held up a finger to stop my words.

"Not that that matters, not that that matters. You are also impeccably smart and have the nicest personality. Happy?"

I half smiled. She really did know me well.

Alice sighed and shook her head sadly. "It's such a shame you don't see yourself well, though, Bella. One of these days you're going to gain some confidence and see how beautiful you are. But"—and her voice turned brightly optimistic—"until that day you have me to help you fake it. So let's go!"

I began walking to the door, but her hand held me back.

"Not so fast. I meant 'let's go', as in, back in the bathroom. It's makeup time."

I sighed dramatically and dragged my feet there.

Five minutes later Alice declared my officially ready. I was pleased at what she had done—I hated makeup, and she knew this. So instead I was only wearing the bare minimum. It was enough.

Hopefully I wouldn't stand out so much in this place now. Hopefully.

Alice grinned and took my hand. "Now we can go." We walked into the hall, and I glanced at the clock on the wall.

"What time exactly does this thing start?" It was ten now, so I figured it would be a late night anyway.

"Nine," Alice answered, pulling out her cell phone. She dialled a number and put it to her ear as it began to ring.

"Aren't we late, then?"

I could see the restraint it cost her to refrain herself from rolling her eyes. "It's called fashionably late, Bella. Now let's go down. I'm calling the taxi."

I was confused, but I followed her instructions anyway. She was first out the door, so when I slipped out I made sure I flipped the lights off behind me. I shut the door, thinking of popcorn and a movie at home.

I sighed and then took a deep breath.

I could so do this. It didn't matter that the host of the party was the biggest jerk known to mankind. It didn't matter that no matter what I did with myself I would never fit in with that crowd. It didn't matter that I was awkward, self-conscious and inept.

I could so do this.

* * *

_Next chapter:_

_He held my gaze. "You shouldn't always believe everything people say, you know." _

_His eyes were intense, deep, a scorching, burning green. I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off._

"_No, I haven't slept with all the female teachers in school. No, I haven't been to jail. No, I haven't stolen a car before." He smirked, and then leant in even closer to me. "But I do jaywalk," he admitted quite seriously._

_I raised one eyebrow, and he winked at me playfully, grinning._

_I couldn't help it. I laughed._

* * *

**So . . . like it? Hate it? LOVE it?**

**I'm not all too sure on this so far, but I like writing it. Tell me how you feel about it, what you think. I'd really like to know.**

**Thanks!**

**x**


	2. The Meet Cute

**Hmmmm… That's all I'm going to say. Hmmm…**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

2. The Meet Cute 

The lights were flashing, the music was thumping—so loud it hurt my ears—the people were swaying, the night was just beginning—and I was cowering over in a corner, as far away as possible from the swarm of over-energized teens, considering how crowded it was in here.

The heat from the packed bodies was making feel sick. I needed air. And where was Alice when I needed her?

Gone. Off with the fairies, dancing and laughing in the very centre of the massive crowd.

Of course, I was quite welcome to join her in Lala Land—if I was brave enough. And when had anyone ever called me brave?

No, it was far, far safer, for me and those around me, to refrain from dancing in the hopes of not only humiliating myself, but also to prevent physical injury. Someone with my legs couldn't dance. I had been in a talent show when I was six—and I had even managed to stuff that one up. All the teacher did was strap on a pair of rollerblades and push me across the stage and I ended up crashing into my classmate, Cindy Polar.

I just don't dance.

I leant further back in the wall, my eyes doing a continual check to keep tabs on the small, radiant girl jumping up and down. If Alice would disappear from me, I would have no hope in finding her again. This place was _huge_.

Tall, timeless, graceful and white. Three stories. Balconies, swimming pool, lush, green gardens . . . and rooms. Plenty and plenty of rooms.

Plenty of people, too, or at least there was here tonight. I caught a glimpse of who I presumed to be my friend from school, but she got swallowed up in the mass of sweaty bodies before I could even open my mouth to greet her. Funny—I didn't know she'd be going tonight.

But that was pretty stupid. I though I had already established the fact in my head that _everyone_ would be here. I was here; and if that wasn't enough proof, I don't know what would be.

People still managed to push past me. I could be overlooked easily, it seemed, but still lacked the skill of making myself completely invisible. Or maybe that was the problem—maybe I did make myself invisible, thus explaining the bumps. People just couldn't see me at all.

I frowned at myself for that thought.

I saw all types of crowds in this particular room; it was some sort of living area or something. But there were the blondes, brunettes; the scary stare-at-me-and-I-will-maul-your-eyes-out Goths, and also the cool, keep-to-themselves Goths; jocks, Barbies and plastics; school nerds; considerately normal people whom I pitied . . . the list was endless.

And the room was a colourful spin of short skirts and t-shirts. People who had already managed to get wasted. People who had already managed to get wasted and pass out drunk. People who had already managed to get wasted and pass out drunk in their own vomit.

They got overlooked, though. It was a small comfort that I was not the only person being trod and stood on.

I hadn't touched anything just yet. No, I was not a complete anti-social person—I swear. I was just in a particular sour mood because of the certain person's house I was in.

I did not hate Edward Cullen. I just disliked him. In a world this big, that was a huge difference.

I had no real reason to hate him, you see. I hadn't even really talked to him properly—he was untouchable, unattainable to someone of my social status. But I _did_ see him; saw how he acted; knew of him, heard of him . . . the list was endless of pathetic trivial facts I knew about the boy.

And that was enough to dislike him.

"Bella!"

My head snapped in the direction of the person calling my voice out over the shriek of an electric guitar.

Oh, there she was!

"Alice," I exhaled in relief.

She ran up to me, her grin flashing an odd colour in the dim light. "So, I see you're still standing in your corner. Have you tried to break free yet?"

"Haha," I muttered. I wasn't sure if she could hear me, the music was so loud. "Have you spotted him yet?"

Alice expression didn't even waver. "Nope. But the night is still young—and I haven't even looked for him yet." Her hair had stayed in place, and her face remained perfect—even though she's been moving non-stop for almost an hour.

Alice opened her mouth to speak again, but then paused. Her eyebrows slanted down slightly in thought, and then she flurried her hands towards the door.

Was I supposed to know what that meant?

_What_? I mouthed.

She rolled her eyes and yanked my arm, forcing me to move with her as she manoeuvred her way out to the door skilfully. The dancers parted way to her easily—now why couldn't they do that for me?

This room was less loud, less pact. I found, with a swelling surge of joy, that I could actually breathe.

Alice was shaking her head at my slowness. "Couldn't hear you too well," she explained. "Now," she said, clasping her hands together and wearing a rather businesslike expression on her face, "what do we know about Jasper?"

I blinked. "Err . . . He has blond hair?"

"Noooo," Alice drawled out slowly. "I mean; useful things. Things that will help us figure out where in this hugely vast house Jasper Whitlock would be hiding out."

"Oh," I muttered. "So you are going to look for him?"

"_We_," Alice corrected, nodding her head. "And I don't want to waste time, now that I look appropriately partied-up, on searching for him. So . . ."

"Right," I agreed. "Well, that's easy, isn't it?"

Alice gave me a blank look.

"Jasper is best buddies with non-other than Edward Cullen, host of this tremendous gathering," I pointed out. "So he'd obviously be where he is."

"Great," Alice said. "Helpful. That rules out . . . oh! Nothing! Edward could be _anywhere_!"

"Yes," I said patiently, "but why would he be _anywhere_ when he could be _somewhere_?" She just gave me that blank look again, so I stopped trying to sound all mysterious. "Edward. You have to think Edward," I clarified. "If you were throwing the biggest party of the year, in your own luxurious home, and was also the most popular person in school . . ."

The light bulb finally flickered. "Ah. I see," Alice smiled. "He'd be wherever all the girls would be."

"Yes. And the girls would be . . .?"

"Wherever they could show off the most skin!"

"Exactly," I muttered. "So let's get going and find this pool of theirs . . ."

--

"And then I was like 'Whoa! Man, you're momma is _hot'_. And then she turned around and looked at me, over her shoulder, staring at me, so I was like 'Shit. She heard me', but then she smiled, and—get this—_winked_ at me!" The guy grinned goofily, raising his arms in the air above his head in triumph. "I am officially sex _God_. No chick will ever be able to pass up this hunk."

One of his friends—no doubt just as big a no-brainer as him—snorted. "Wouldn't be too sure of that, Steve," he laughed. "So she winked at you—big deal. I've gotten more than that in two seconds . . . a _lot_ more."

The boy—Steve—turned to his friend and shook his head. "No, man, you didn't see her. I'm talking serious business here. I love single mothers."

"Whatever. I like ones that are already taken."

I shot a frustrated look full of implications at Alice. She met my gaze and grimaced.

_Yes, I know_, her face said. _I know, but just ignore it_!

I sighed quietly and tried to focus in on something else other then the group of sexually-frustrated guys discussing the pros and cons of older women. Hurry up and turn gay already—it would save a lot of poor girls the tragedy of dating such jerks.

We had found the pool after a good fifteen minutes of searching for a way out of the vast house. I hoped there wouldn't be a fire inside tonight, because I'm sure it would take at least an hour for all the guests to safely find their way out of the vicinity.

Once we'd found the pool, it was clear I'd had a true stroke of genius. What did we find there?

Well, not only was there less people outside, less noise, less hype; not only was it beautiful, and dark, and had room to move about in—but it also seemed to be the main attraction for just the people I had predicted: all the girls. And one certain tall, blond man, who made my friend's breathing go all funny.

Jasper Whitlock, we have found you.

The one thing I noticed was that my prediction hadn't been entirely correct; because where was the leading man, Edward Cullen? Surely he wouldn't leave his fellow fiends to lie around themselves. They needed a leader to copy and laugh with and ogle at.

My eyes came to a rest on the girls who were in my year level, and also somewhat clueless to the finer things in life. The were all sprawled out glamorously around the pool's edge, some sitting with their feet skimming the water, others lying down on the hard tiles as if this was actually comfortable; I was sure it wasn't. A couple had thought to bring bathers, but the rest were still in their short skirts and dresses—the probably could pass for bathers, anyway. Who knew?

Yes, they were in my year level, and yet we were yet to become friends, let alone acquaintances. But that was pretty fine with me—I had Alice. The best friend in the entire world—even if she did drag me along to certain torturous events—and better than any bottle blonde bimbo any day.

I was standing next to Alice now, and we were near the guys, naturally, pretty close to her intended target. He _had_ already smiled at her, as a greeting when we first stumbled into the group, but I think it was more than just that. You're whole face doesn't just light up like a little kid on Christmas because somebody new arrives into view. And he kept glancing at her—in very subtle ways.

Hmmm . . . Maybe our Jasper wasn't as oblivious as my dear little friend assumed.

These small markers were lost on Alice—maybe I'd have to give her a heads up when we were back home.

I tuned into another nearby conversation by the pool for something to do.

". . . but I'm not sure. He just disappeared, and he looked a bit funny."

"What did you do?"

"She didn't do anything, Kate," another girl corrected, sounding annoyed. "Why do you automatically assume she stuffed up?" Her voice was cutting, sharp.

"I didn't, I was just wondering . . ."

"It doesn't matter," the first voice interrupted. "I just want to know where he is. But even that isn't important—he'll come back to me soon."

"Of course he will," the girl with the sharp voice agreed. "He was all over you—did you _see_ that!?"

She giggled, obviously amused. Curiosity got the better of me and I turned to see who was talking.

Ahhh. Well, that explained things. These girls weren't known well for their smart remarks. They were, however, well-known for their fluffy, blonde hair, cute, sparkling eyes, and confident attitude that whipped most guys into a love struck stupor.

Tanya, Kate and Irina.

Tanya, the golden goddess with shoulder length hair that had a strawberry tint to it, a dimple in her right cheek and her two main followers in her shadow constantly.

Kate was actually her sister—Tanya was the adoptive one in the family. She still looked similar, however, just without the spark that was always with Tanya.

Irina was Tanya's best friend, and was also pretty snide.

"Looks like the Barbie's are present," I whispered to Alice.

She turned to where I was staring and snorted rather loudly. "Lovely."

I laughed quietly.

"Anyway, I think he might ask me tonight—it's the perfect time too. And he's been hinting at it for awhile . . ." Tanya continued gushing enthusiastically.

"You mean, ask you out?" Kate clarified, crossing her legs so she could sit up straighter by the pool.

"Yes," Tanya smiled. She looked like a gorgeous angel when she did. "Do you think we're good together?"

"Of course," Irina giggled. "And you know it—you just want confirmation!"

"Shut up," Tanya muttered, but she was grinning happily. Her long legs were shining and glistening in the dim light, the water making light patterns reflect off onto her skin.

She was dressed in a white sleeveless dress that hugged her body tightly, and I could at least admire her for being able to pull it off. She had the best curves to wear something that revealing and tight.

Everyone knew the story behind her birthparents. It hadn't just leaked out—Tanya had all but shouted it from the rooftops. Apparently, her mother had run away from her abusive father with her in tow, but she had died in a car accident a year later. Tanya was five years old and staying at a friend's house for the day at the time. So they found her father and she got sent back to him. She lived with him for roughly seven months—during that time, she got beaten constantly and her dad kept threatening to kick her out. Finally, he had enough, and sent her to the streets—so there she was, basically an orphan at just six years of age. Kate's family found her soon after.

I wasn't sure how much of it was true.

"God, I wish I had your thighs," Tanya sighed, staring, disgruntled, at Irina's legs.

Irina looked pleased, but answered all the same, "Oh, please! You are to die for . . . I hate my legs."

So it was going to turn into one of _those_ conversations. I figured it was something I could skip. I turned back to Alice.

"I'm sick of this," Alice whispered to me. "I can't wait any longer. There are only so many conceited stories you can listen to without losing your head. Any guesses to whom Tanya is referring to?"

I nodded once, smirking. "Maybe . . . Edward Cullen?"

"Bingo," Alice muttered. And then, without further ado, she straightened up, beamed, and marched over to her 'destiny'—her words, not mine.

I watched from afar. I would come to her aid if needed—what are friends for, ay?—but I knew her well. She liked to operate alone when she was catching her prey.

Jasper started when Alice walked up to him. She was all smiley, happy, bubbly. Truly Alice. Letting her shine through.

He was so a goner. It didn't matter if Alice was convinced that he was from "that" group and wouldn't look twice at her—I knew better. She was beautiful, really beautiful, and she deserved to get what she wanted.

It seemed to be fine.

"Hey," Alice smiled up at him, her eyes wide and innocent.

"Hi," Jasper replied, his eyebrows rising.

That disbelieved look didn't last long, however. Very soon he was grinning as wide as she was, and laughing, too. Alice's charm was catching.

I stayed put, my eyes roaming the area every now and then. That's when a familiar face popped up, the face I had caught earlier on.

"Angela!" I called out in relief, waving my hand to catch her attention. She looked like she was heading back inside, but she stopped to look at me when I said her name.

Recognition flickered across her face, followed closely by surprise.

"Bella," she laughed, her voice sounding a bit shocked. She walked over to me, a bewildered smile on her face. "Hey—what are you doing here?"

See? I was totally not supposed to be here.

"Alice," was my simple reply, and I nodded my head in her direction. She was absorbed in whatever Jasper was saying to her, unconsciously leaning towards him.

I looked back at Angela, to see her turning back to me. "Hmmm," she said, eyes still a little wide. "Well, it's a surprise, all the same. How are you doing?"

"Good." I tired to answer as enthusiastically as possible, but I don't think I fooled her. Angela wasn't easily fooled.

"That's a shame," she replied, looking a bit sympathetic. "But I expected as much."

See? She totally saw through me.

"Are you here with anyone, or—"

"Ben," she answered, a shy smile gracing her lips. "Yeah, we figured we might as well turn up—it's something to do, right?"

"Right," I agreed. It was something to do.

"Is Alice going out with Jasper?" Angela asked, her eyes flickering back to the pair.

Ha. They did look quite happy together.

"Not yet," I said slowly, my voice thick with implications. Alice would kill me if she heard me say that, but it didn't matter—it was only a matter of time. "They do suite each other though, huh?"

"Definitely," Angela nodded, smirking. "Go Alice."

I laughed.

"Do you want to go inside to get a drink?" I overheard Jasper asked. I turned my back on them so I could smile a knowing smile in Angela's direction without getting caught. Ohhh, this was going well.

"Sure." Alice's voice was enthusiastic. I could only imagine the dazzling smile that would accompany her tone.

I waited, holding my breath for a second, until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I swivelled around, to find Alice behind me, staring up at me with glee.

"Hey, Al," I said, smiling.

"Hey," she breathed, pent up excitement leaking a little into her voice. "Hello, Angela," she added.

Angela waved.

"Look, I'm going back in—do you mind?"

"No, of course not," I said. "It's going well, then?"

And her voice wasn't as composed as before. "Bloody hell, it's fantastic! He's so . . . Mmm, and like, Ahhhh."

Angela and I exchanged a highly amused look at the one.

"Shut up," Alice said before we could comment on her little statement. "I'll see you soon, alright? Angela, look after the poor girl—she's been so miserable, darling little thing . . ."

I swatted her arm. It was my turn to tell her to be quite.

"Shut up."

"Oh, if only I could!" And she wiggled her eyebrows before skipping off.

I sighed. "Well, at least she's happy. Where's Ben?"

Angela looked a bit uncomfortable. "Actually, Bella, I'm supposed to meet him in there . . . I kind of have to get back. You can come, if you'd like."

My heart sunk a little, but it was to be expected. Anyway, I wouldn't want to hang out with someone as sooky as me.

"No, it's okay," I declined politely, smiling in reassurance. "I really want to check out the gardens—I think they're people-free!"

Angela laughed. "_Right_. Have fun! Call me if you'd like, if you change you're mind. It'd take too long to find one another otherwise in this house . . ."

I nodded. "Got it. Now go! You're charming prince awaits your return."

She had disparaging look as she rolled her eyes. I ushered her off.

"Tell him I said hi!" I called out behind her. A few people turned to stare at me, so I looked away, curling my shoulders up defensively. There goes any scrapes of confidence I had.

It didn't take long for someone else to claim their attention, so very soon I was free from the uncomfortable situation of being the centre of attention. My spotlight had lasted . . . maybe three seconds? Two, if I was lucky.

I could live with that.

I stood in the corner for an awkward moment, feeling out of place. The odd one out. No one approached me, so I was grateful for that. Any conversation any of these people offered was surely one I could miss.

It took me all of a minute to decide I would indeed venture out into the gardens—which were surely huge. What made up my mind was the eyeballing I was getting from this guy dressed in red shorts and a lime green tee.

Please.

I walked away, keeping a wide berth from any human civilization. God, just listen to me. I sounded like such a snob. I really needed to clear my head.

Behind the pool were a line of tall, wide trees that probably made cleaning the pool a very challenging task. There were no lights behind them, so it was pretty safe to assume that no one would have gone for a walk there. Or at least that was what I was hoping.

I slipped between them, automatically feeling like at least now there was some barrier between me and the rest of the world. I was fine with being alone—it was never something that bothered me, aloneness.

I started forward, willing my eyes to get used to the lack of light. It was pretty dark; the moon was a tiny sliver of silver in the cloudy sky.

It was huge, as far as I could see. Well, at least compared to my place, which had no garden at all. I saw, about fifteen metres away, a tall, wooden gazebo that was painted white. It looked magical. I smiled to myself—the Cullens had some sort of taste, after all.

I started forwards towards it. Maybe I could wait out the rest of my time here—it sure was beautiful. And _quite_. The muted thumping of the music's beat coming from the house was in the background, no longer a distraction. There was no buzzing of drunken voices, of mindless chatter. My ears still rung faintly.

I reached it, smiling eagerly as I skipped up the two little steps—and came to a halt in shock.

"Sorry," I gasped in surprise, frozen to the spot. Someone was already there, sitting, in the shadow—I couldn't see him properly. "I—I didn't think anyone was here . . ."

"It's alright," the person said, leaning forwards from the bench that was connected to the half wall. I peered at the figure, wondering where I had heard that voice before.

"Do I know you?" he continued, his voice smooth like silk. "I can't remember ever seeing you around before."

I frowned a little. The small patch of moonlight was shining down above him, casting himself in shadow, and probably making me fairly clear to his eyes. I blinked again, trying to see him. I didn't want to come closer, intrude.

"Um, I don't think so. Probably not." I laughed once at the absurd thought. Not many people would know me—I didn't get out half as much as Alice did. "If you have, you probably wouldn't remember me."

"No, I think I would," he said, his voice a little louder. It sounded like he was smiling. "You're not somebody I could easily forget."

I frowned, blushing, of course. I fidgeted with my dress uncomfortably, all the while my mind wondering where I recognized the voice from. "Yeah, well . . ."

"You can come closer, if you'd like," he offered, sounding amused. "You look a little odd, standing there."

I opened my mouth to say something, but then snapped it shut. I crossed my arms around my chest self-consciously and slowly took a few steps forward, still staring at the mysterious figure.

I stopped a few feet from him, feeling my mouth begin to open a bit in plain shock when I saw who it was.

"Much better," he approved, and I could see his smile now, all wide and dazzling and charming. "I won't bite."

I felt suddenly strange and way out of my comfort zone. I looked at the smooth wooden floor, my brain feeling rather sluggish. This was not good. Maybe I should just turn around and walk off without another word. He wouldn't be used to _that_ approach, that was for sure.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit concerned. Like he actually cared about my answer. "You're not going to be sick, are you?"

"Sick?" I repeated, staring back into his annoyingly deep eyes with sudden humour. "No—why would I be sick?"

He shrugged, relaxing back into the bench. "I don't know—had a bit much to drink, maybe."

I snorted, rolling my eyes to the ceiling. "Yeah, well that answers that question. I don't drink." I straightened my shoulders, feeling a bit more empowered. "In fact, I don't smoke, or do drugs, either. Or really go to parties like these," I added as an after thought, muttering. "I'm quite boring."

But wasn't it better to be boring than hang out with all the generic people, doing what was considered cool?

He considered that. "Yeah, you don't look like the type."

I stared at him, my eyes narrowing. "Oh?" I questioned, crossing my arms around me tighter in comfort. "Why not?"

He laughed, obviously seeing he had offended me. I didn't like people telling me how I should act, or what type of person I was. His laugh irked me; I wanted to walk away again, but my feet seemed rooted to the spot. His laugh was not only irritating, it was also compelling.

"Don't be annoyed. I swear I didn't mean anything by that. You just look smart, that's all."

"So to be smart you can't do what everyone else does?" I asked, pursing my lips. "That's quite a distinction. And by saying that, aren't you referring to yourself as being quite dumb, seeing as you're the one hosting the party?"

His laugh was, once again, amused and also quiet. "See? There you go, automatically assuming things about me, likewise. What's to say that I enjoy parties like these? What do you know about me?"

"I know that you planned this party," I huffed. I hated to admit it, but he had a slight point.

"Ah," he said, nodding his head once down, but looking up at me through his lashes. "There's you're mistake with assumptions. I see you know my name, at least, would it be safe to state that?"

I nodded stiffly, waiting for him to continue.

"Right. But just because this is at my place, doesn't mean I planned it. This wasn't supposed to be that big. It's the price you pay for being well-known, I guess, and having a brother who loves to party."

I raised my eyebrows, speculating what he was saying. "That's not what I heard."

"Yes, but you seem to be the type of person who doesn't listen to all the rumours going around. The truth can be widely blown out of proportion."

I ran my tongue over my teeth, thinking. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth.

"What's your name?" he asked suddenly, staring into my eyes intently.

"W—what?" His question caught me off guard. I still didn't know why he was bothering to talk to somebody like me. I still didn't know why I was bothering talking to somebody like him.

"Name," he repeated. "You apparently know mine—isn't it fair if I get yours?" He did that unfair thing again, his dazzling smile that I was beginning to see the effects of. I hated it.

"Bella Swan," I said slowly, tucking a strand of brown hair behind my ear.

His smile softened. "Nice to meet you, Bella," he said quite seriously, the smile fading but still apparent around the edge of his lips. "I'm Edward Cullen."

He held his hand out to me, waiting.

I deliberated for a second, and then took a step closer so I could shake it.

He held onto it for a moment, staring at my face, and then let it go. "Are you going to sit down?" he asked, gesturing to the rest of the bench next to him.

"Why?" I asked stupidly.

He pursed his lips together, obviously trying not to smile. "You're just standing there. It's making me feel awkward. I would much prefer if you sat."

Was that a trick question? What was going through Edward Cullen's head to make him want me to sit with him?

And what was going through mine that made me want to sit next to someone I disliked?

I paused, and then sighed, resigned. I took the necessary step closer so I could perch on the edge of the seat.

He smiled in victory.

It was rather beautiful outside now. It was like we were far away from everyone else, in a different time and place. The gazebo was beautiful, too. I wanted one badly.

It was silent for a moment, as I pointedly stared everywhere but him. He was dressed smartly, but still casual, with a dark fitting tee and jeans. His hair was its usual bronze mess, falling into his eyes which were the brightest green.

"So," he said, breaking the silence in a relaxed voice. I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my face. "May I ask what made you venture out here if it wasn't for me?"

Cocky. I looked back at him with a roll of my eyes. "I don't know," I mumbled. "I hate it back there. I wanted to get away."

He snorted, shaking his head. "Way to put it bluntly. It's a good thing I'm not getting offended."

"Why," I asked, staring at him. "Would you kick me out?"

He ignored my question, using my stare to look back into my eyes as if he was searching for answers.

"If you hate it so much, and you obviously expected as much, why did you come?" He didn't put it rudely, just in a curious voice.

I wrinkled my nose. "My friend literally dragged me along," I muttered glumly. "I couldn't refuse her. I don't think it's possible not to give her what she wants."

He seemed interested in what I said. He leant closer to me, eyes raging. "Do I know her?"

"I don't know," I said. "Her name's Alice Brandon. We're both in your year, funny enough, but I'm not sure you ever pay attention to people like us."

Again, he ignored the end of what I said. He laughed once, sounding surprised more than anything else. "Short girl, right?"

"Right." My voice flooded with light surprise. So he had heard of her. "How do you know her?"

"Oh," he said, waving his hand as if the answer didn't matter much. "Seen her around. You're good friends?"

Why was he so interested? "Yes," I said cautiously. "We have been best friends for years. We share an apartment."

That was a bit more information than I intended to give out. His eyes did weird things to my brain, though, so it wasn't my fault. I wish his eyes weren't so deep; maybe then I could see him clearly as I had before.

"So why haven't I seen you before?" He seemed genuinely confused, and a bit upset for some reason.

"Ah . . . maybe because you only see what's in front of you?" I didn't mean to make my response sound so snark, it just came out that way. I tired to redeem myself. "I mean, I said before I was boring, right? I don't get out much."

He frowned at me, frustrated. "I don't think you're boring," he muttered, and then, "why do I get the feeling that you don't seem to particularly like me?"

I laughed once, shaking my head in amazement. "Well, I don't know you very well—so why should I like you?"

"Well, if you don't know me very well, why shouldn't you like me?" he shot back.

I breathed in deeply. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, "but the whole popular I-am-so-cool-and-bad-ass thing just irritates me."

He stared at me, looking a bit like I'd just slapped him across the face. "You don't know me," he said again. "How can you judge me?"

I looked back down at the ground, at the shadows the moon was casting.

When I finally had collected my thoughts, I looked back up at his face. He seemed a little more composed. "I've heard things."

His face took on a condescending look.

He held my gaze. "You shouldn't always believe everything people say, you know."

His eyes were intense, deep, a scorching, burning green. I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.

"No, I haven't slept with all the female teachers in school. No, I haven't been to jail. No, I haven't stolen a car before." He smirked, and then leant in even closer to me. "But I do jaywalk," he admitted quite seriously.

I raised one eyebrow, and he winked at me playfully, grinning.

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

"Okay," I sighed. "Maybe I was a little judgemental."

He nodded slowly. "I'm not saying I'm perfect, though," he added quickly. "It's fun to break the rules every now and then. Healthy, even. What's life without a little danger or risk?"

I thought about what he said, mullign it over. Maybe that was my problem. Maybe I was too boring and stuck to the rules a little too much. Did I really need to loosen up a little?

Did I _want _to loosen up?

I shook my head, trying to clear it. Edward Cullen just confused it all the more. Was I really willing to change my ways for a guy I not only _disliked_ (or at least, thought I did) but hardly knew at all?

**Ta. PLEASE tell me how this is going - I am still a bit unsure . . . You're opinion would be much appreciated :)**


	3. Unrealistic Reality

**So! I hope everyone had a nice Easter and all… Thanks for your inputs, very encouraging ******** (Hahaha, and I screwed up by posting the first chapter as well, but didn't have time to fix that up, so I am sorry!)**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

3. Unrealistic Reality

_(Sorry for any mistakes, I wanted to post this up so I haven't proofread it!)_

"So . . ." I finally said, breaking the silence endowed upon us by my deep and critical assessment of the situation. "You didn't say, and I'm wondering why the host of the party is hiding out in the bushes."

That cracked a smile. His lips twisted up to the side, and he looked up at me through his lashes. He knew I was changing the subject, but he didn't comment on it. "I wouldn't call this place in the _bushes_, necessarily. But I suppose you have a point . . ." He grinned fully now, to some thought he probably wouldn't voice. "I just needed some air. So I slipped out—they won't notice for a while, hopefully. I wanted to be on my own."

"Oh," I mouthed, looking at the floor awkwardly. Was that his way of trying to hint at me to leave?

"But then I was interrupted by you," he continued. My eyes were on his face again; I just couldn't help it. "And curiosity got the better of me." He shrugged. "You're very interesting. Even if you seem to have some unknown aversion and hostility towards me . . ."

"I'm being hostile?" I asked, my voice rising in pitch slightly.

"That was overstating thing, I guess," he corrected dismissively. "But I don't know—I kind of like it, even though it's frustrating and a blow on my ego." He sighed. "I suppose it just makes you more fascinating."

I cocked my head to the side, trying to read his facial expression. But his face was composed, a mask of sincerity, and I couldn't get a hold of it. Without thinking about it, I stepped closer to him and sat down on the bench next to him. The moon seemed to be growing, glowing in the sky and absorbing all the energy surrounding it. It was a comforting and eerie sight at the same time.

"No one's ever labelled me _fascinating_ before," I muttered, eyes focused on the painted-white floor of our shelter. The silhouettes our bodies were casting on the ground stood out against the white, solid and defined.

He shifted, turning his body so he was facing more towards me. I watched the shadows; it saved me looking up at him.

"Sorry," I mumbled pathetically. "I didn't mean to be . . ." I struggled, trying to think of the right word that described what I was being. I sighed too, hunching my shoulders tighter around me self-consciously. "I guess I've been in a bit of a sour mood all night. I've got a loud of homework waiting for me at home."

He was quiet for awhile; the only sounds in the distant night was the sway of the trees rustling in the breeze, and the hum coming from the light behind the line of tall ,thick trees that protected us. The party, going on in the distance just the same while _I_ was sitting here with Edward Cullen.

When he finally spoke, it was gentle, soft. "Maybe that's because no one sees you clearly," he murmured, almost as if to himself. He was referring to his "fascinating" comment. "Are you always like this?"

I bit my lip, twisting my head to the side to finally look at him. His expression made me smile a bit, just a tad. "Perhaps," I said indifferently, but with a hint of a smirk to my lips. "Maybe not quite so mean."

He laughed quietly. I liked the sound of it.

"And maybe not so overly opinionated," I added, not able to stop myself from telling him more. "And maybe . . . Maybe not so . . ."

"At loss for words?" he offered teasingly.

"_Daring_," I corrected, narrowing my eyes at him. He looked amused, but he composed his face.

"Daring?" he questioned sceptically.

"Yes, daring. I went to a party I swore to myself I would never take part in, helped set up my friend's happily-ever-after, decided to sneak about the backyard of a stranger's home, and am now sitting and talking about the strangest things with another person I hardly know."

He blinked, looking confused about something. "You would describe that as daring?"

I pursed my lips, grudging. "Not exactly . . . But, compared to how I normally act, it is fairly amazing feat for me."

He nodded slowly, a small line present on his brow. "Hmmm . . ." He frowned deeper, thinking. Always thinking. I felt like he was making a mental assessment of me, call me paranoid.

"What's that?"

"Well, Bella, did you ever consider that maybe this was all meant to be? I don't mean in a cheesy way," he said quickly, noticing my expression, "but like . . . It might be good for you. "Cause you're life sounds hell boring right now . . . And the person next to me doesn't really come off boring one bit."

I looked at him, searching for a sign that he was mocking me or something. He wasn't fooled as to what I was doing; he opened his mouth to speak.

"You said you weren't so overly opinionated . . . usually." The smile was back, playing on his mouth in an interesting way. "I think you should be. Maybe you should speak up more. Bella Swan has a lot to say to the world, she just doesn't want to open her mouth and gain the spotlight."

For some reason, his words irked me. Perhaps because he'd gotten straight to the truth in a matter of minutes, whereas most people didn't ever reach it, no matter how long I knew them for.

"There you go, assuming things and telling me what I am," I pointed out frostily, pouting a little.

"Yes, but this time I know for sure I'm right," he whispered. "Your temper makes you speak—isn't that good?"

"I don't know," I mumbled, lifting my knees up so I could place my feet on the bench as well and curl my arms around my legs.

"Well, _I_ think it is. It's actually kind of hot." His eyes gleamed when he said the words, louder than anything in the past couple of minutes. Some part of him was teasing, but I didn't know how much.

I gave him the best sarcastic expression I could muster, and then rolled my eyes. Right, now he was definitely mocking me. He had some nerve.

"I mean that, you know," he said, lifting his hands up in innocence.

"What's Emmett like?"

He tried to hide his smile, and answered me as seriously as he could manage. "He's . . . A good guy. You've seen him around?"

"Yes," I confirmed. "Rose went to this thing with him . . . I think it's kind of a date, but I'm not sure."

"Rose? The blonde?"

"Yes," I said suspiciously. "You know her." It was a statement; the tone of his voice, almost a little reverent, but more impressed than anything else, proved it.

"Of course," Edward smiled. "I think she's kind of perfect for Em. He's a goner."

I laughed, partly at the impossibility that I was discussing one of the most well-known guys at school with most well-known guy. Oh, Alice was sure to freak . . .

A soon as I had the thought, my phone went off, vibrating loudly against my chest.

Almost immediately I blushed, turning red as I tried to turn my body away from his as much as possible to retrieve my phone from the only place I could stash it in a dress without pockets, and no bag. This was humiliating.

He smiled at my obvious embarrassment, but waited politely as I got my phone out and flipped it open. I was still facing away from him, so I peeked at look at him from the corner of my eye. His smile flashed wider, making me feel funny. I quickly retracted my gaze, and cleared my throat quietly.

"Hello?" I spoke softly into the phone, unsure who was calling—I hadn't checked the ID in my discomfort.

"Bella?" A loud voice squawked, sounding amused. And also very familiar. "Why are you so quiet?"

The voice was deafening loud, with the voice of many others in the background. I winced, holding the phone further from my ear.

"Hi, Alice," I sighed, a little louder.

"Oooh, you sound very energized, don't you? I'm sorry to interrupt your moping"—I blushed a deeper red as those words rang out, probably loud enough for Edward to hear—"but I'm just checking in on you. Have you slapped anyone yet for trying to get to know you?"

"Thanks, Alice," I said, my voice strained. "I've really missed your voice."

"Hmm, hopefully that's a no."

"How is everything going?" I asked to get off the subjects that involved me. "Is it all well?"

"Ohhh!" And she sounded so excited, I guessed a lot of people where giving her strange looks right now. She was already shouting in the phone to be heard. "I've just gone off to 'find the ladies' so I could sneak off and call you. But, oh yes, Bella, _God_, yes. He is so interesting! And he's always talking to me and asking questions, and seems genuinely interested in the answers, unlike some guys . . ." Her words reminded me a bit of the absorption of Edward's face whenever I answered one of his questions. I knew exactly how she felt.

" . . . But, Bella, I really have to go. Are you sure you're alright? If you're really not happy we can go home. You've already been spectacular."

I blinked, and then focused in on what she was saying. "Oh, no, you enjoy yourself. I'm sure I'll be fine for another little while."

There was a pause.

"Okay," Alice said slowly. "That's a surprise—what happened?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, while pressing the phone to my ear again. I wish she could be a little quieter. I was electrically aware of Edward sitting right beside me.

"Well, something must have happened if you said that without even a resigned sigh. Spill."

I sighed, running a hand through my long hair. "Not right now, okay, Al? Get back into it—I'll text you soon."

"Alright, bye, sunshine."

I shut the phone. I put it back in my lap, not wanting to have to do a dig and scramble like before. Finally, I turned back to Edward.

He smiled politely, very calm. "Alice?"

I grimaced and nodded, sucking in a deep breath. "Yeah—sorry about that."

He shrugged. "Someone was bound to notice you were missing. I wonder how long I can hide you . . ." He looked at me slyly, as if he was actually considering it.

"I think it's the other way around," I pointed out, trying not to dwell on the last part of his words. "When I was making my way over here, people where talking about you. Three very . . . _blonde_ people. I'm sure they're not the only ones."

I watched his face carefully, waiting for a sign. He just looked me in the eyes and smiled peacefully, shrugging again. "They'll live."

A thrill shot through me. There were three beautiful, stunning and loved women out there in the midst awaiting his return, and he was still there with me. Me. Isabella Swan.

Was this a trick?

I tried to look casual about it.

"So . . . Tell me—what it is like being the Edward Cullen?"

He made a face at my words, perhaps because I changed it into an almost title. I waited, patiently searching his eyes as his face grew sombre and then rather amused.

"You're trying to unlock my secrets already, huh?" he joked, ruffling his hair with his left hand absentmindedly. It made his unusually-coloured hair stand even more on end, and I forced my eyes away from it and back to his face before he could notice my preoccupation.

"I was merely curious," I defended myself, resting my head against my knees. I rocked back and forth slightly for a moment, wondering if he would say anything else or if I would have to be the one to break the silence.

"Maybe . . . Maybe I'll tell you one day." His tone caught me off guard, filled with an emotion I couldn't place. He looked thoughtful—once again. "I can't tell you everything just yet—I need to save some of the mystery so I can still be able to catch your interest."

He smile then was lopsided, uneven, and I found it oddly difficult to swallow.

"You seem to know plenty about me already," I murmured.

"Not really," he said lightly. "Compared to how many secrets I'm guessing you have, I'll have to be patient before I try to unlock all of them."

I struggled trying to sum up his statement. It was almost as if he expected to be seeing more of me after tonight.

I sighed quietly to myself and looked up at the sky, starry and bright and uninterrupted apart from the lone wooden pole of the gazebo, stretched out before me. It was a beautiful night, all mystical-like and heavenly. The beat from the deafening music was oddly nice in this surrounding, not over-powering, but just hinting that somewhere other people loomed, oblivious to where I was, where he was.

He looked out at the night, too, seeming to appreciate it as well. How different he appeared then the assumption of his character I had wrapped up in my head for the past year or so. I still felt a bit unsure.

I don't know how long we stared up at the sky, lost in our own thoughts. Eventually, Edward looked back down at me. I turned my head to his, and he smiled in encouragement.

"You're a very easy person to be with," he commented.

I shrugged, shaking my head in wonderment.

"I've got an idea . . . and I bet you've never done it before."

"What?" His voice already made me nervous. There was a bit of an edge to it.

He stood up, turning around to face me. I watched cautiously from between my knees where my head was resting as he extended his hand out to me, as if he wanted me to grab it.

"What?" I repeated, tucking my neck in as I was taken aback.

He just reached his hand out further, waiting. Asking me wordlessly to trust him.

I took a deep breath and let my arms unwind from myself, my legs thumping back onto the ground, and clasped his hand tentatively with my own.

He smiled and pulled me up from the bench, so I was standing there with him. He didn't let go of my hand—I had to stop myself from looking down to stare at it.

"Very . . . _daring_," he complimented me.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't stop the huge grin that spread on my face. "Was that a test?" I asked. "What was even the point?"

"No, it wasn't a test," he told me, hand still curled around mine. "I was just pointing out some more things you can be proud of tonight." He chuckled once but then straightened out his expression.

"I bet you've never . . . danced at night away from the actual party with a guy you hardly know in his backyard in a gazebo."

My stomach twisted uncomfortably. I didn't like where this was heading. My hand suddenly felt dead, like it weighed and extra ten pounds. A blushed lightly, my face turning down in uneasy chagrin.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You—are you wanting to . . . _dance_?" I looked at his face widely, my own eyes wide with their disbelief.

"See, I didn't think you would have done it before quite like this." He took my other hand, squeezing lightly.

I tried to take a step back, but found that my legs weren't responding as they should. See? I already couldn't move them right.

"I think that's a really bad idea," I said unevenly, swallowing. "I mean, first of all, like you said, I hardly know you, and that would be . . . weird. And second, I don't dance. Don't, as in can't."

I wasn't aware people like him asked people like me to dance when we were by ourselves to music so quiet and soft it was like an echo, a dream.

He pursed his lips, considering. "We're at a party," he pointed out. "So I don't think it's really that big a deal. And I thought tonight was about being daring? Doing things you don't normally do?"

I opened my mouth and then snapped it shut. I tried again to find words. "Please," I pleaded softly. "All I will do is make a huge fool out of myself. Seriously, that idea is dangerous. Hazardous. I just can't . . . _move_ . . . that way." A blushed deeper.

"Don't be afraid," he said, doing that uneven smile again. "We hardly have any music, so if you stuff up, I probably won't even notice. We can make up our own music, with forever changing beats. The sky's the limit."

I probably looked like a fish, the way my mouth opened and closed soundlessly, trying to get out of this horrible situation. He was trying to be kind—or I least hoped so—but that just wouldn't do.

He sighed, and then stepped closer to me, so close, much closer than I was expecting. I could hear his breath, see his perfect face inches from my own, and smell a delightful scent coming off his body.

He grinned, and the smile captured my attention, my mind, like that was all there was in the entire universe. A silly thing to be feeling.

"Don't worry so much," he suggested casually, his breath fanning my face gently. He didn't seem to be aware of our proximity. He held our hands up more, positioned, and winked at me.

I looked at the floor, determined to make this hard for him. God, how humiliating . . .

"You really find this difficult?" Before I could answer, he pressed up against me. Not in a demanding way, or a needy way, or in any way that entailed something. He was just trying to be comforting.

And it was easier, because he basically moved gently side to side, and I kind of stood there, heart thumping wildly, face flushed and realizing I was moving without even deciding to. And not falling over.

A slow smile began to spread on my face, and I actually giggled. Oh, Alice dear, you will be proud.

He laughed. "You're dancing. Well done."

"I wouldn't really call this dancing, considering we're not really going anywhere . . ." But the smile was impossible to wipe off my face.

"No, this _is_ dancing," he disagreed. "It's more intimate than spinning all around the place, don't you think?"

He seemed to be teasing me.

I sighed. He laughed.

Softly moving, as unreal as it was, moving as one under the stars to a beat so soft, so in the distance it was like a forgotten memory.

He leaned down towards me so he could whisper something in my ear. I stiffened reflexively, but then relaxed, feeling his lips brush my skin.

"By the way, you tell anyone I can dance like this, and I will have to hunt you down."

**Okazay, as my friend would say (hehe, that rhymes). Um, hope you like, will be more soon. The story is just beginning to unfold . . . **


	4. Interrogations

**Ekkk! I didn't intend to write so soon, but what can I say? Your responses egg me on.**

4. Interrogations

"Thanks," Alice said brightly to the cabby, handing him some more money. I didn't bother protesting, because Alice said she wanted to pay herself because of what I'd done for her tonight. If only she knew that I hadn't actually had a bad time after all . . .

We were both silent as we climbed the stairs to our apartment. I was feeling a bit edgy, sensing an oncoming interrogation that I'd promised to be a participant in. I wasn't sure I was ready to tell everything yet; saying it would not make it feel any more realistic.

Alice had stuck to her word. It was coming up to one in the morning when she'd texted me, telling me to meet her up front because she'd already called a taxi. When I met her, she looked brilliant; eyes wide and excited, still dazzling beautiful, and a new bright spark in her personality that I was happy to see present. Not that she ever had trouble being happy. Alice was one of those people who were always optimistic.

I'd stayed with Edward until I had to leave; the time seemed to have gone quicker than expected. He just smiled, mentioning casually that he better get back to the heart of the party before people got suspicious, too. I didn't know what would happen with that now, if things would just go back to normal, zero contact or knowledge of my existence. I supposed it might, and it was something I'd have to just accept.

Alice led the way, coming up to our door and opening it wordlessly, waiting for me to enter. I smiled, hoping it didn't look pained, and entered our apartment a little wearily. She skipped in after me.

I stood unobtrusively to the side of the doorway, watching her as she slammed the door shut and threw her purse onto the counter carelessly. She then turned and walked into the kitchen. I stayed still, listening to her as she banged a couple of things around, opening cupboards and rustling deeply within their contents.

I heard the flick of a switch, and then slowly the noise of the kettle began to filter out. I had to smile slightly to myself for that one. So it was going to be one of _those_ interrogations.

Alice came bustling out, carrying a small tray in her hands and wearing a very serious, business-like expression. She saw me standing there, and jerked her head to the couch midstride.

I relaxed my shoulders which had begun to tense up, and plodded to the sofa where I collapsed into it, earning a good sigh from the battered thing. The couch was one of the first bits of furniture this place had earned. It was a sad concept to admit we might have to replace it soon.

Alice placed the tray directly in the centre of the coffee table, straightened up and put her hands on her hips, pursing her lips in my direction. She stared at me, and I looked back at her glumly.

She still didn't say anything. Neither did I.

Then there was the automatic click of the kettle again, indicating that the water was boiled. Alice made a soft smacking sound with her lips as she sauntered back into the kitchen.

I was left staring at the pale yellow walls of the apartment. Compare this place to the house we had just vacated, and the difference was almost comical. Not that our place wasn't nice; it was. Just small. And practical, considering we were just two girls who were in their last year of high school (which was already nearly over) and could only afford a place of their own thanks to Alice's parents. They paid the rent and helped with the bills. I felt guilty, like I was taking their money, but it was a lot more complicated than that. I worked and saved as much as possible, but Alice wouldn't hear a word of it when I suggested paying my half.

I heard the tinkling of bumping china, and then Alice was coming back out with two mugs in her hands that were steaming and hot. She handed me mine, and I took it, curling my hands around the warmth.

Alice sat down next to me, placing her cup on the table, and then eyed the tray she'd brought in speculatively.

"Do you want a biscuit?" She barked suddenly.

I blinked, and then couldn't help smiling reluctantly. "Sure," I murmured, taking one when she held the tray out to me. I nibbled on the edge of it, waiting.

Alice turned to me, and I knew I was right in my assumption. We always had tea and biscuits whenever a vitally important conversation came up, no matter the time. And her face was easy to read; eyes almost brimming over with their burning curiosity.

"Okay, okay, I'll bite. You are going to explain _everything_ to me, right now. I want to know what happened, what you did all night . . ." Alice took a deep breath, snuggling deeper into her seat. "You can start by explaining that phone call business . . ."

I bit my lip. I was still reluctant in telling her. I needed a little more time to get my own head around it.

"Al? Can't you tell me how your night went first?"

"Oh, who cares!" she said loudly. I knew she didn't really mean that, only right now the mystery was killing her. "I want to _know_."

I laughed once, but I was still stuck on biding my time. "Please? I will tell you, but since the whole point of the party was so you could see Jasper, don't you think that's more important?"

She deliberated for a moment, and then rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine. But just so you know, it's only because I get to talk about _him_—otherwise I wouldn't budge." She grinned then, and reached for a biscuit herself. "God, these are good. I'm starving." They were the ones with the cream in the centre—she broke it apart and licked absentmindedly, the way she always ate them. She finished quickly, brushing her small hands together to discard the crumbs. "Alright, alright, let me see . . ."

It only took her a second to find her words. "Well, let me just say, he looked really good tonight. Did you see him? He looked good, didn't he?" Her face was eager, and I nodded hurriedly. She relaxed back into the couch. "Yeah. Well you where there to begin with—it was actually him that suggested we go inside. I didn't really care of course, were we went. The fact that he asked was _amazing_ . . ."

"Wait," I interrupted. "Did anything happen? Like, did he ask you out?"

She blinked, coming back down to reality a bit. Then she _tsk_ed in reproach. "Bella, don't ruin it!" she whined. "I'm getting there, don't spoil the ending."

There was a pause while I waited for her to continue.

"Argh, alright!" she exclaimed. "Fine. No, he didn't ask my out exactly . . . but he said 'it was really nice seeing you like this' and he even commented on my dress—I _knew_ it was a winner—and when I told him I had to leave, he kissed my cheek and said 'I'll see you around then'."

She clapped he hands together excitedly, looking like a little child. I smiled, happy for her.

"He was pretty into you, Alice. I saw you two together . . . and it looked good."

"Yeah?" she said, face bright, and then sighed. "We talked for so long—about everything you know? All the little things . . ."

I nodded, encouraging for her to continue.

"You can't seriously want to hear everything about it, could you?" Her face creased a little in confusion. "I really am too eager to hear _your_ story, Bella," Alice said, and I felt my stomach twist. "I mean, sure, I could gush on and on, but I don't want to bore you; it's so your turn!"

"I really don't mind hearing all about it," I muttered weakly. She just gave me a shrewd look and grabbed another biscuit.

"Fine," I sighed, putting my cup onto the table. Where to start. I twisted my hands together uneasily.

"Alice . . . you know how we were totally brilliant and figured out where Jasper would be? And at the same time, Edward Cullen?"

She nodded cautiously, but her eyes widened a little.

"And he wasn't there . . ."

"Yeah, I know. But that's a good thing, right? I thought you hated him." She wasn't even thinking anywhere near what had actually happened.

"I don't _hate_ him," I muttered. "It's more _dislike_ . . ."

She bore her eyes into mine impatiently.

"Right. Good, yeah." And I really had no clue how to phrase what had happened. I just spat it out in a huge gush. "Well, I bumped into Angela, actually, and she looks well. Great. Ben was there too somewhere, but was inside waiting for her. So she left—I really like her—and decided I needed some air. So then I was walking deeper into the backyard, past the trees, and there was a gazebo and a person and it was quiet . . ."

Alice held her hands up to stop me. "Whoa, whoa, wait," she demanded. "Slow down, Bella. I'm getting a headache."

I took a deep breath, and then let it out as I said the next part of my brilliant explanation. "Well, it was totally coincidental, but Edward was there and we started to talk and it was actually really nice and then you called—"

Alice eyes bugged wide, and she froze a little. "What? Edward . . . You mean Edward Cullen?"

I nodded weakly, retreating back from her a bit. "He was getting some air too."

Alice expression didn't change for a minute, and then a smile slowly began to spread wide on her face. "Edward Cullen. You and Edward Cullen. No wonder you sounded so different on the phone."

"It wasn't like that, Alice," I interjected before her imagination could get out of hand. "It was just really nice. He is actually . . . kind of . . . nice. I think. I mean, I guess he is. I don't know!"

She patted my knee, but was still grinning. "I'm so proud of you! Hell, Bella, way to go girl. And you looked so good tonight; he must have been baffled . . ."

I made a face, and then spoke up. "No. Really, Alice, nothing at all happened. We just talked."

"For nearly three hours?"

"_Yes_," I said. "And it's not a big deal—I'm a bit confused. I think things will just be normal again at school. Like nothing happened, which it didn't, anyway, so . . ."

"Are you going to tell me more, or am I going to have to torture you until you speak?"

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Okay, okay, this is stupid, but here goes . . ."

--

"Oh my God," Alice whispered. Her face was blank, but I could sense something growing beneath the empty face. "I mean, oh my God."

It seemed to be the only thing she was capable of for at the minute. I was trying to be patient, letting her absorb everything I'd just spilled out to her in a long fifteen minute recall, but it was starting to get annoying.

"Oh my God."

I ducked my head, leaning into her closer and staring up at her face, trying to get her attention. "Alice . . ."

"Oh. My. God."

I sighed, trying to ignore her. She'd get it out of her system eventually.

"I mean, how is that for strange? He was completely different to what we assumed . . . well, more me than you, I guess." I made a face, but continued. "It's just, why would he hang with all those pretentious people if he wasn't like that? I'm just really confused . . ." I sighed again.

"Oh my god oh my God oh my God . . ."

I stared at the wall stiffly for a long minute, counting to ten in my mind. She's a great friend. Always there for me. Just the best . . .

"Oh my _God_ . . ."

"Alice, shut _up_!" I exclaimed finally. "Yes, I suppose it can be classified as an 'oh my God' situation, but really . . ." I shook my head. "If you say 'Oh my god' _one_ more time . . . Well, I think I'm going to have to pull my hair out."

She closed her mouth with a snap, and finally blinked. Her eyes had been glassy for a little while there. She seemed to finally focus in on me.

I held my breath, waiting for the torrent filled with over-excitement.

"I knew it," Alice muttered, voice fierce. It was different to how I expected; certainly a lot quieter in volume. "I _knew_ it."

"Knew what?" I asked blankly.

Her eyes flashed, and she sat up straighter and shook her head, lips turned up in the corners. I watched as she hooked her hot pink heels off and placed them neatly together on the sofa next to her, and then crossed her legs. Ever-so-carefully, she clasped here tiny hands together and placed them in her lap.

"Jasper is gorgeous, right?"

I blinked. Had she been thinking of him this entire time? That kind of sucked, because she was the one who made me tell her everything in the first place. I looked bemused; I was happy she was so head-over-heels, but he wasn't really my type . . .

Alice sighed. "He is gorgeous," she answered for me. "And it all makes sense now! How he could possibly be best friends with such an arrogant jerk all along . . . Because if Edward is like how you described, then it _does_ make sense! I've been wondering about that friendship for some time, you know," she added. "I'm glad he has some taste. If he and I are going to have any chance, taste would be a big equation in our relationship; because I have so much of it. I wouldn't see it working otherwise."

I laughed. "Glad to see you don't have any problem with self-secure issues . . ."

Alice looked at me sceptically. "Bella, we both know it's true. When it comes to obvious things like this, voicing it is no problem. Denying it, on the other hand, makes you seem either a) fishing for compliments, or b); really, really dumb."

"What if you're both?" I asked, thinking back to Tanya and her followers.

Alice guessed the direction of my thoughts. "Yes, I suppose we'd have to make an exception for them," she said brightly. "There will have to be an option 'c' . . ." She then looked at me suspiciously. "Tut tut, Bella," she said. "Since when did you ever say something that is the least bit petty or mean?"

I gave her a sarcastic look. "Since now."

She laughed. "Oh, but we're getting off track. You have to answer me this; and be truthful, or you'll spoil everything."

I was getting nervous again.

"Do you like him?"

I knew instantly what _him_ she meant, but wasn't as agitated as I usually would have been. I had been expecting this question.

"Truthfully?"

"Of course," she said, feigning shock.

"Well . . . no. I mean, I don't think I know him enough to. One night doesn't erase years of behaviour—even if none of it was true. And I honestly don't think anything will change now, Alice. Things will just go back to normal."

And why was that a bad thing? I tried to reason with myself.

She looked disappointed, and I remembered something.

"Oh, and you are forbidden to meddle with anything, okay? No reading into things that don't exist."

She pouted. I thought it was because I'd taken away her fun, but then she explained the glum look.

"You say that like it's actually possible . . ."

I giggled. Her martyred expression was so heartbreaking.

"For you, anything's possible," I reminded her. She grinned mischievously.

"You got me there."

I smiled, but then composed my face. I craned my neck to look at the clock on the wall—and sighed when I read the time. Just as I had suspected.

"Discussion closed. I have to get to sleep before it's a lost cause—you know I don't sleep well."

Alice laughed while nodding. "Oh yes, and I refuse to be woken up by your moaning in the middle of the night. You'd think these walls were thick enough to block out your noises."

I blushed. It was a very well-known fact that I talked in my sleep—especially badly when I was exhausted.

"Sleep, my precious," Alice said, doing a fancy arm gesture in the direction of my room. She looked like a game hostess. "The deep slumber of one who is thoroughly contented awaits you . . ."

"Oh, shut up," I mumbled happily.

I got up and ruffled her hair. "Thanks for the tea."

"Oh, you know it's my pleasure—tea spills secrets. It's a century old tradition in my family."

I rolled my eyes and padded off to my bedroom. "Make sure you get your beauty sleep too!" I called over my shoulder before closing my door. I walked straight over to my closet, too tired to bother with brushing teeth or washing face; it was three in the morning, and I was determined to fall asleep.

I slipped out of the dress like a zombie, on autopilot, and fumbled around in the dark for my pyjamas. Alice was always teasing me for my preferred sleeping attire, but it didn't really bother me. I found what I hoped to be a clean pair of sweats and climbed into them, an old top already stuffed over my head.

I climbed into bed gratefully, liking the feeling of the soft, smooth bed. My body ached a little, and it was nice to have something comforting to calm it. I was just settling in for sleep when my bedroom door cracked open a sliver, and somebody ghosted over towards my side of the bed.

"Beauty sleep, Bella? I don't need beauty sleep."

Alice's voice, whispering softly into my ear. I didn't bother opening my eyes. I moaned in response.

She laughed, a tinkling faraway sound. "That's my girl. Night, Bella."

And the left just as silently, shutting the door behind her with barely a sound. I smiled to myself, letting unconsciousness take over my body.

This I was familiar with.

**So . . . hopefully not boring. I just needed to highlight Alice and Bella's relationship a little more. I'm thinking of having a bit in Edward's POV next, but I'm not sure. No matter what happens, I will not be doing much of it, because it would ruin the story if you would know what Edward is thinking. Trust me on that one!**


	5. The Next Day

**Okay . . . So here goes; hopefully I don't fail too miserably at this.**

5. The Next Day

EPOV

I figured it was best if I got back into things before I was really missing. How much time could I pass off as meeting a friend? Or going to the toilet? If they knew the truth, they would automatically assume things; and I don't know. There was something private about my time with that girl, and I knew they wouldn't understand.

I was trying to remind myself of why I had decided to get back into things. Twenty minutes later, and my decision didn't look so promising.

"Hey, Edward!" some guy yelled. I automatically turned my head in the direction of my name being called, to find somebody waving his hand high above his head to catch my attention.

He held up the ball in his hand with a triumphant and enthusiastic grin. "You up for some ball?"

I half-grinned at the guy, unsure who he was exactly, but recognizing him from school.

Some football wouldn't be so bad, if it wasn't for the fact most guys were so out of it at this stage of the early morning that the game would sure to be a boring one. A few of them in the group assembled looked fit for it, but the rest could hardly walk straight. I hated easy game.

"Nah, I think I'm gonna stay here," I yelled back.

The guy grinned, shrugged, and turned back to the boys, already beginning a game plan. I sighed internally and returned my gaze to the water, watching it as it sparkled and gleamed in the low light.

"Huh, Edward is such a ladies man," a guy hooted nearby me. "You better keep them ladies occupied!"

Tanya giggled. I looked at her and she was smiling sweetly up at me. Although I was grinning and the guy's compliment, I couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable with the type of attention I was getting.

"So, Edward," Tanya started off lowly. "Where did you get off to before?" She tilted her head to the side, a lock of blonde hair falling in front of her eyes that were staring into mine.

She really was beautiful, there was no denying that.

I felt myself shrug. "Just around, I guess. I talked to this really interesting person, actually."

There was something private about the time I'd spent alone with the girl, and I wasn't ready to elaborate. "What about you?"

Tanya smirked. "Oh, you're being all mysterious, hey?" Her smile simply widened. She reached a hand out and brushed her fingers through my hair. "So she was interesting."

Tanya was obviously discarding my second question. Her body leant towards mine, eager for an answer.

"I did say that, didn't I?" Her face was closer to mine, and she giggled again. We were both sitting by the pool, having resumed our previous positions from a few hours ago. The party hadn't died down at all; it had just petered out a little because most of the guests had gotten smashed. A few people hung around, and Kate and Irina were nearby, sipping drinks while they gushed on about something.

"Mmmm," Tanya sighed. "_How_ interesting?"

I looked at her from the corner of my eye. Her long hair was pinned up at the front, leaving long cascades of curls to fall down her back. Although it wasn't as neat as before, it looked better. More sexy.

I frowned a little in confusion, but answered all the same as I composed my face. "Very."

Her eyes widened, and the hand that was playing with my hair dropped slowly down the side of my face. This was getting a little too far, but she rested her hand in her lap before I could get uncomfortable.

"Well you know what?" she breathed. Her face took on a little pout, and she looked up at me from her long lashes.

I waited for her to answer.

"I'm a lot more than interesting," she whispered. And the playful smile was back.

I laughed. "If you say so."

She blinked, but the smile didn't waver. I never had to worry about undermining her confidence, because the likelihood of that was so little it was basically nonexistent.

"Come on, you know I'm right!" She nudged my shoulder, shaking her head to herself as she looked down at the water, her hair falling to the side and creating a sort of curtain between us. I too looked at the water, thinking.

"Tanya!" Irina called in a shriek, laughing before she finished the word. "Tanya, you have to listen to this."

Tanya leant her head back, laughing. Her laughter died in a sigh and she turned her head to see her best friend.

I followed her gaze, watching as Irina ushered her over with wide eyes. She had always been someone who irritated me a bit, but since Tanya was such good friends with her I had accepted her judgement and decided not to interfere. She was standing near the bar, with a group of a few people, all people whom I somewhat knew.

Tanya raised her eyebrows, and looked back at me. "You wanna go?" she asked. "I so need a drink."

I chuckled, and then nodded. Why not—there wasn't much else to do.

We got up, Tanya in the lead and made our way towards them.

Irina was squealing before her friend made it; she grabbed her hand and pulled her to them. "Listen, Edward!" she ordered me, and I tried to smile and look interested. In reality, I wasn't, but I didn't want to be rude.

The guy Irina was hanging off the arm of was Simon, a tall guy with short black hair and a wicked grin. He smirked now, having got a larger audience. "Okay, okay," he began, throwing back his shot and discarding it carelessly behind him on the counter. "I was out . . ."

But I didn't get much of a chance to hear this apparently hilarious recall, because just then another voice spoke above the rest, and it was saying my name.

Not in a way you would call if you were searching for someone, but in the statement way that indicated the desired person had been found; Jasper was there, tall and blond and also looking at me expectantly.

"Hey," I said with real enthusiasm. "I haven't seen you around all night—how's it going?" I stepped away from the group, not wanting to interrupt them, and stood closer to my mate.

Jasper smiled. "Brilliant. I came round here tonight expecting video games and a few stale beers, and instead I get a whole party filled with beautiful girls. How do you think?"

I looked at him, bemused. "Yeah, well this whole thing wasn't my idea . . ."

"Thank god you have such a buoyant brother then."

I laughed, rolling my eyes. "Seen any you like?"

Jasper didn't hesitate. "No. She's already left."

I cocked my eyebrow curiously, wondering who he was talking about.

"I'll tell you later," he told me. "Right now you're a pretty popular man, and I wouldn't want to start a huge fight over who gets you . . . You're not really my type." He snickered.

I frowned, and turned around to look where he was staring. Tanya met my gaze above all the heads and winked at me.

"Huh," Jasper said. "You back with her?"

"No," I said, shrugging off any opening _that_ conversation could open. "We're just friends."

He didn't look like he believed me completely, but didn't press the issue. One of the many great things about Jasper; he knew when to stop prying.

It was true Tanya and I had a history, but that was all it really was. There hadn't been any fooling around after it had ended, so I didn't get what people were going on about when they insisted we were together again. Emmett joked that they missed Prom King and Queen being an item; their very own Ken and Barbie.

I refused to let him have the television for the rest of the night after that one. He hadn't been very happy, but hadn't brought it up again, either.

"Here, Edward," a girl in one of my classes said, coming up behind Jasper. Her name was Catherine, I was pretty sure. She was dressed in red, her brown hair short and slick. She smiled warmly at the two of us and handed me a drink. "Hope you're enjoying the night."

She looked us up and down and then smirked, walking off straight after.

I looked at Jasper and then down at the drink. I handed it to him without a word.

"What? You're not drinking?"

"I'm really not in the mood," I explained. "Plus, if I turn up to my parents tomorrow"—I looked down at my watch and then corrected myself—"later this morning, with a hangover, I'm not sure it would start things off smoothly."

He looked at the glass, back at me, and grinned. "Whatever." He took a swig. "It's just one drink."

"And how many have you had tonight?"

He didn't answer, but got my point.

"It doesn't matter anyway," I said. "You do what you want, I can't be bothered getting into some shitty debate. I have to go." I nodded my head toward the group I'd left, who were standing still now, all looking at me expectantly.

Jasper snorted. "How tiering things must get for you," he muttered sarcastically, "with no one who's interesting in having you around."

I laughed. "Shut up."

He rolled his eyes and walked away. "See you soon," he called over his shoulder.

I went back and Tanya was there, next to me almost immediately. It made me think again of what Jasper had just assumed, but I shook it off. It didn't really matter.

"Have you seen you're brother, Edward?" Tanya asked eagerly.

I shook my head. "Not at all. What's he done now?"

She laughed. "Nothing—much. But then you have to know who he took with him tonight . . ."

Ah. Yes, I did know. And if I hadn't earlier on, then Bella would have filled me in on that one. Rosalie the blonde.

"Rosalie Hale!" Tanya revealed like it was a scandal. "I would never imagine he would pick her out, she seems too . . . delicate."

Kate, who had been quiet for a while, rolled her eyes. "Delicate? Do you know what that girl can do, Tanya? She tinkers with cars and gets grease all over her body. She's in my Gym class, and she's also got quiet a fierce temper."

"And is also really hot," Simon added. Irina grinned up at him, tugging his arm to get his attention.

"Yeah, but it's still strange. And I bet you she's had work done."

"Like you?" Irina asked dumbly. There was a bit of an awkward pause.

"I had a nose job, _Irina_," Tanya said firmly. "It was necessary at the time—_you_ didn't have—"

"I think Rose is hot, too," I interrupted before things could get catty. "Just right for Emmett."

Tanya broke off, looking at me in shock. I smiled at her reassuringly, and she cast her eyes down.

Irina was the one who spoke up next. "Yeah, but I honestly don't see all that when I look at her," she said a little too loudly. Probably very tipsy. "She just looks like another try hard who's after Tanya's look." Her voice turned icy. "I mean, come on, Tanya, you're way better looking than her, and you're the original."

"Yeah, Tanya's one hot bitch!" howled some guy.

A few people laughed, but I just refrained from rolling my eyes. I had no idea why Irina was accepted as well as she was at all.

"Well, let's stop being so boring," Tanya proclaimed. She seemed rather pleased. "Let's finish this party!" She picked up another drink and gulped it down in one, smacking her lips when she was done. A couple copied her, and others grinned, getting wound up again.

"Want one, Edward?" Tanya asked, looking up at me with an innocent expression. She held the drink up, waiting for me to take it.

"No thanks," I murmured.

She looked surprised. "Aw, really? Bumming out so soon?" She got all pout-y. "You have to set a good example, you know . . ."

I shook my head, and she bit her lip.

"Alright, let's go over there, yeah?" She pointed a little crookedly—I worried a bit that she was going to stagger, but she seemed fine—and looked up at me, waiting.

"Yeah, sure," I said, wondering why. She lead the way again—it seemed she was comfortable being the leader—and turned to me when I caught up. We were still near the pool, just closer to the trees, where it was darker, cast in shadows without any artificial lights. The moon was still up, a nice reminder of my night.

She stared at me wordlessly for a minute, and I stared back. It had been around six months since we'd broken up, and I would be lying if I said there weren't things I missed about it. Being with Tanya was very easy, and also highly enjoyable. But it just didn't work; we stuck with it for a year, but things got rocky and just collapsed.

We were still good friends. It was hard not to be, with a group like ours who were constantly hanging out.

Tanya began to smile after a while, a slow, spreading smile that played on her full lips with just the right amount of playfulness. I didn't know what we were doing, so I just waited patiently.

"You know what, Edward?" she said quietly. Her eyes were dead on my face, staring into it, staring straight into me. "You know full well I can be a lot more than interesting."

And then she crashed her lips to mine.

It took me second; her mouth was hot and nice and also totally unexpected on mine. Her body leaned in closer to me, her kiss feverish and passionate.

When I realized what was happening, I broke off, staggering back. I looked at her like she'd lost her mind.

"What?" she demanded, looking as shocked as I felt. Her breath was heavy, her chest rising and falling with her deep breaths.

"What are you doing?"

Her surprised expression melted when she registered my words and tone, replaced with a smile again. She took a step closer to me, eyes shining. "Showing you how interesting _I_ can be," she breathed. She reached for me again, but I shrugged her off.

"Wait, Tanya, stop."

She looked shocked again, and then abruptly pissed. Her eyebrows slanted down as she frowned, glaring up at me.

"_Why_?"

Shit. I hated it when girls got like that; all lethal looking. But I was annoyed enough to overlook it.

"I thought you knew nothing was going to happen between us," I said.

She looked taken aback. "Excuse me? Why not? We're great together."

"_Were_ great, Tanya," I said slowly. "But I just . . . I just don't want to go back there again . . ."

"Look, I'm tipsy, easy, hot, and basically throwing myself at you, and you're telling me to stop?" She looked incredulous as she eyed me scornfully.

I sighed. "Yeah, actually, I think I am. Sorry. But you know—"

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Fine," she huffed. "Who cares about anything permanent? What about just tonight?" She eyed me again, looking suggestive. "I can think of some things we can get up to . . ."

Huh. Right. I am such a girl; I tired not to think about the ribbing I'd get if it got out I'd turned her down for a one nightstand, and stared at her firmly.

"Sorry, but I'm really tired and . . ."

She shrugged her shoulders, shaking her head. "Fine!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "I'll get laid by somebody else. They'd probably be more thankful, anyway . . ." She glared at me, looking at me like I was some feral animal, and slipped away back to her friends, leaving me to stare after her like an idiot.

I stared after her, not really paying attention to what I was seeing, and shook my head. _I'm really tired_? Who said that?

I breathed out deeply, suddenly feeling the early hour. It was sure to be some time before everyone disappeared, and I had a lock on my door for a reason; but for now?

Now I really thought was a good time to have that drink . . .

**Ha. So sorry if that was lame. Will get better, but you needed a little Tanya/Edward in there, yeah? Hmm . . . I am so tired. Might go off to bed now, I think, my eyes are starting to droop!**


	6. Infuriating Infatuation?

**Short story my ass. I should've known I can't EVER write anything short at all. I have so many ideas for this story, and I pretty much know the outline to it . . . And it'll be fairly long. Hopefully that's not a bad thing!**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

6. Infuriating Infatuation?

"Bella!" Alice called my name loudly from another room. "Are you ready to go?"

I stared at myself in the mirror; at the pasty look my skin was taking and at the stray bit of hair that was sticking up. This was about as good as it was going to get, it seemed.

I sighed at myself, and then watched as I shrugged my shoulders.

"Sure!" I yelled back, turning my back on my reflection.

I heard the sound of my roommate's approaching footsteps, and then Alice was there, sticking her head around the door of my bathroom.

"Well, good," she said. "Because we're going to be late and . . . Hey, you look really good!" Her eyes were wide, and she was grinning. She moved the door out of her way and stepped into the room fully.

I frowned, and glanced down at myself. What was she talking about?

"Oh, don't look so surprised," she quipped. "Of course you do."

I couldn't help but smirk at her. "Well if I always do, why did _you_ look so surprised?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Gee, you really are the most difficult person to try and give a compliment to. I was simply commenting on the fact that you still look casual and normal and _Bella_-like, but just . . . good. I don't know."

She shrugged her small shoulders, and then beckoned me with her hand. "Come on! Enough time just standing around. We have to move it to catch the bus on time."

I sighed and followed her out the bathroom. Another Monday morning, with school awaiting our arrival. How wonderful.

The rest of the weekend had fallen back into the normal pattern, with the comfortable swing of familiarity firing me along. Nothing interesting had happened, but I _had_ managed to get through my over sized stack of homework. A feat that pleased me tremendously.

If I was being perfectly honest with myself—I had a tendency not be, because it highlighted the depressing truth of how pathetic I was—I was a tad nervous about today, and its possible outcomes. The night at the party had stuck with me through the weekend, no matter how much I tired to dislodge it, and I didn't know what to expect for the day. Both possibilities were unwelcome in very different ways.

Alice was uncharacteristically quiet throughout the ride, and I wondered briefly what was on her mind. Her preoccupation worked in my favour, though, because I was not really in the mood for discussion.

We arrived at school for our usual time; it was about a fifteen minute trip away, and we reached it with about ten minutes to spare before the bell. It was running things tightly, but usually it wasn't a problem.

School welcomed me into its arms, and I immediately adapted to the routine of it. Just like any other day, Alice and I made our way together towards the lockers.

The corridor was lit up with long lines of fluorescent beams, and the floor was the usual glossy white marble, that never remained so after a day of having muddy feet trampled over it. The walls were the bland, dull blue colour that was so faded away it looked almost grey, with multiple wilting posters and fliers taped to it with huge headlines.

"So I'll meet you for Gym second period?" she checked as I assembled the correct books for my first class of the day out of my locker. A locker that was falling apart at the hinges. They'd been repainted blue, in hopes of buying a few more years out of them before being replaced.

I internally groaned, hating the fact that I had not been able to drop that class yet. It was that or another class I had taken last year, and I had chosen Gym over it because it at least wasn't repetitive, and Alice was in it.

"Sure," I sighed, slamming my locker shut. "I so look forward to it."

Alice laughed. "Come on, it's never _that_ bad."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Alice? The only insignificant reason that makes it a teensy portion of a bit better is the fact that this is our last year of high school, and then I never have to take it again."

"Well then you should make the most of it—who knows? Maybe you'll end up missing it at the end of the day. I know for a fact that the polished Gym floor holds a certain soft spot for your ass when you fall over your own two feet onto it."

"Haha," I muttered sarcastically. "More like it grins evilly every time that happens."

She just smiled sweetly, clutching her own colourful books to her chest. "Look at the bright side; you have English now, hey?"

We pretty much had each others timetables memorised. In a school this small, it wasn't particularly difficult to be aware of what class your fellow peers were attending.

"And what's _your_ bright side?" I inquired.

"Oh. Well, considering I have many bright sides to pick from, that's a hard one. But the brightest, most shiningly dazzling one would have to be the fact that I am ninety three percent sure I will see Jasper Whitlock today. Just like all those other days." She sighed happily.

The bell rang out, signalling the start of the day. All around us, students began to move, making their way off to class.

Alice rolled her eyes and took a step back. She looked quite fragile in contrast to the other pact bodies moving around us impatiently. Her thin red headband and sparkly flats just added to the look. She was one of the smallest in our year.

"See you soon!" Alice said, with a feeble wave of her hand that was almost sarcastic.

"See you," I murmured.

She skipped away.

English went smoothly, for the most part. I enjoyed it, and was able to catch up with Angela again, who had the class with me.

"So, what did you end up doing for the rest of the party?" she'd asked as we'd taken our seats in the middle row.

I'd looked at her. As much as I liked her, this was not a conversation I wanted to get into, nor the shocked gossip that would follow it. And I wasn't too keen on saying it out loud, either. That wouldn't help with the way I was feeling. Why did somebody have to say something to remind me of that night when I was just starting to forget it?

I'd shrugged, hoping I wasn't being overly rude. "Oh, I don't know—doing my best of trying to blend in, I guess."

She'd smiled at me, and I'd hurried to return that smile.

All too soon my one good class for the day was over, and I was scheduled for forty-five minutes of hellish torture. I can't say that Gym went as well, because it didn't. Somehow, in the one time I'd actually had enough guts to go for the ball—a huge mistake in the making—I'd immediately thrown a sloppy pass, straight into the opposition's hands. Everyone else groaned, but Alice whooped me enthusiastically and gave me a high-five.

We made our way to the change rooms after a very long game of basketball.

"Hey, that was some pass," Alice said cheerfully as I collapsed onto the bench. "I think if maybe you'd squinted just a little . . ."

"Oh, be quite," I mumbled.

It reeked in the change rooms, so Alice and I made sure we were out of there as soon as possible. I pulled my school uniform back over my head with unusual haste, as Alice checked her hair in the mirror with a wink at herself.

"Do tell me," Alice began as we walked together for Spanish, "how you're mother is doing. You haven't spoken about her for some time."

I sighed. "I don't know," I said rather evasively. But I told Alice everything, so I sucked in a deep breath. "She wants me to move to Florida with her." This wasn't a particularly new development; Renee had been hounding me for a few weeks to give up the cold weather and come back to be with her. It was just new because I hadn't mentioned it.

"What?" was her immediate response.

"She wants me to move to Florida with her," I repeated. "To stay—permanently. She doesn't mean to be fiddly, she just misses me." I shrugged.

"But you can't go," Alice said, stating the obvious. "What would I do without you?"

I laughed darkly. "Oh, I'm sure you would manage."

She stopped me, holding out a hand so I would look at her. We stood obtrusively in the middle of the path, ignorant of the students pushing past us. "Besides me, though, Bella," she said quite seriously. "You can't leave for _you_. Sure, it's your decision in the end, but what would that do to you when you've finally settled here? It's your last year of school, and you need . . ."

"Alice," I interrupted in a calming voice to stop her flow of protests. "Don't worry—I'm not going anywhere, okay? Renee is just a little lonely. She'll get over it soon enough when Phil works less."

She nodded, and bit her lip. "I guess you're right," she admitted. "You just got me worried."

I smiled. This was why I loved her.

We took up our brisk walk to building six. Today was a nice day, considering nice weather wasn't always available in such a wet place. Soon, though, I would graduate and be able to migrate to a warmer climate. That thought put a huge smile on my face.

I was pretty happy, all of a sudden, as I looked around at my surroundings. We were outside with the thick, wide trees and the loud, musical birds. Nature and I weren't exactly cooperative all the time, but I was beginning to like it a lot better.

My good mood and optimistic attitude lasted all of about thirty seconds. That was how long it took for me to turn my head, and take in what was before me. That and the few extra seconds it took to see his reaction.

And there went my good mood. Queue the faint blush and awkward, averting gaze.

I had turned my head to the right, and what did I see? Him. Not the same _him_ that Alice always referred to, but the him that I had been secretly obsessing over before this morning. The him that had _become_ a him fairly quickly to me.

Edward Cullen.

What were the odds? How could it be that throughout the three years I had been here, there had been basically zero contact, and know my eyes seemed to have opened and I was seeing him everywhere?

Was it the same for him?

He wasn't alone. Of course. He was with the usual crowd he was always seen with, more in the centre of things, like everyone automatically converged around him. Tanya was there, laughing loudly, but not as close to him as was the usual. That was strange.

They were walking in the same direction as Alice and I, and also other numerous people, although they didn't stand out as much. The group of strangely beautiful people were hard to miss.

So it was natural for me to turn and stare to look at what the noise was all about. And when my eyes caught his, the surprised leap in my stomach was called for.

Edward didn't smile. He didn't look unhappy, either; more casually surprised, like he hadn't fully believed me when I said I went to the same school as him. As he stared for what felt like a lot longer than the few seconds it really was, a guy next to him nudged him, causing his head to turn away from me and back to his friend.

I blinked, my brain completely frozen, still staring. Edward's friend said something to him, nudging him again, and then looked wickedly amused. He snickered, a sound I could hear from where I was. Both now turned to stare at me.

I felt the slight panic on my face, and I couldn't place why I was feeling as uncomfortable as I was. I didn't even have time to blush.

Edward's friend laughed again, right at me, and Edward frowned, muttering something quietly to him. He was frowning. The friend raised his eyebrows, laughed once more, and then shrugged, turning his attention back on his previous conversation.

I stopped. I stared. Next to me, Alice noticed me immobility and froze, too. I couldn't even look at her.

Edward looked at me again with a blank expression on his face for a moment, and then he turned his back on me, quickly walking off with his friends without another glance behind.

_God_ . . .

It took me a minute to snap out of my hurt and anger. Whatever I had been expecting, it wasn't anything like that. Sure, he could've ignored me; I would have welcomed that if I knew what I ended up getting was the alternative.

Did I seriously just get _laughed_ at?

"Bella?" Alice's voice snapped me out of my daze. "Bella, what is it? What's wrong?" Her voice was filled with anxiety.

I looked down at her worried expression, and tried to calm it with a falsely cheery smile. She obviously hadn't seen anything, so I would just act like nothing had happened.

_Try_ to act like nothing had happened.

"I'm fine, Alice," I assured her. "I just got a little distracted."

She didn't look convinced. Her brow puckered as she read my face, and she opened her mouth to object.

"_Fine_, Alice," I emphasised. "Really fine. Everything's good. Now come on, both of us are going to be late for class . . ."

She frowned, but allowed me to tow her along. We made it just in time for Spanish, and I was thankful for the distraction.

It didn't really matter anyway, I told myself. What happened, happened, and now I could just get on with things. That was how I was trying to see it. Maybe if I said it enough I could convince myself of the fact.

Spanish slugged by torturously. The teacher never called my name, and I didn't offer anything, so I was free from any embarrassment my lack of attention would've caused. I could feel Alice's concerned glare at me throughout the entire lesson.

I sighed at exactly the same time the bell went. One more lesson left, and then I was free to go to lunch. I briefly considered pulling a sickie, but with Alice there, it wouldn't really be plausible. She would be instantly more suspicious.

No, it was far better to get the day over and done with so I could start the morrow afresh. After all, who cared what someone thought of me? His behaviour, I supposed, confirmed my previous assumption of his character and I guess the night at the party was just a one off. He was obviously very rude, and that made me feel rather irritated. I had done nothing wrong.

I walked to biology by myself. Alice left me with an "I'll see you at lunch", but it sounded more like a warning than a promise.

I dumped my books across my usual desk in Biology, slumping down in my seat. I crossed my arms and buried my head in them, waiting for class to begin. The noise of students filling the room was present, and the volume continued to climb as more and more people arrived.

I was getting a headache.

"Hey, Bella," a familiar voice greeted me. I heard the chair next to mine being pulled back, and felt the table shake slightly as the boy let his arms fall across the table.

I didn't even look up. I didn't care if I was being rude. I just really wasn't in the mood.

"Hi, Mike," I mumbled out. Mike Newton, an okay kid, I guessed, but an annoying one at that.

I mentally shook myself. My sour mood wasn't his fault at all. He was my lab partner, and he was just trying to be nice.

I lifted my head off the desk to face him. He smiled in encouragement.

"How was your weekend?" I asked.

Mike grinned. He was fairly cute, with blond spiky hair and blue eyes.

"Oh, alright," he said. "What about you?"

Ha.

"Hmmmph," I muttered. "Alright too."

He nodded. "Soooo," he slurred out. "What are your plans for this weekend? Because, you know, I was wondering if . . ."

I was really glad for the interruption. Even if it came in an unwelcome form, I was still glad.

Because at that exact moment, another voice interrupted us, a deeper voice, a smoother voice. This voice, too, could I place. A disgruntling truth, because I really wished it wasn't true.

"Bella," Edward said quietly.

It was a reflex reaction. My eyes snapped up, to find him there by my desk, leaning over with cautious smile on his face.

I stared.

What now? Why was this _happening_? Wasn't it worse and humiliating enough to get rejected once in a day?

What was he doing? He was the one with the problem. And now he thought it was acceptable to bug me and follow me to class?

I stared. And it was not a very friendly stare.

He looked confused, and smiled down at me in more of a condescending way. "Are you alright?" he asked.

I bit my lip to stop myself from hurtling the words I wanted to accuse him with. He was Edward Cullen. I didn't matter to me what he chose to do. I had no personal emotions or opinions when it came to anything involving him.

Even if it evolved me, too.

"What?" I said lightly, hoping my voice was indifferent. "You're talking to me?" I let a little surprise leak into me tone.

"Yeah . . ." Edward said slowly, raising his eyebrows. "Obviously. Would you call this not talking?"

"You're going to be late for class," I said without emotion.

"This is my class." He grinned, and it was positively fake and perfect.

Mike was sitting right next to me, looking between the two of us with an incredulous face. He looked stunned.

"No, it isn't," I insisted.

Edward was still smiling. "Well, actually, surprisingly, it is. I've had this class all year. It's just I sit up the back"—he indicated behind him—"and you're up here, near the front." He shrugged.

I stopped myself from turning around to check it out for myself. I instantly knew he was telling the truth.

"And you only just realised I was in this class, didn't you? You only just saw me."

I knew the answer. I didn't need to see the strained look that came on his face as he struggled to maintain his composure.

I nodded to myself, casting my eyes down. "Yeah, I kind of figured."

"Hey," Edward said, sounding upfront. "You never realised I was in this class, either."

"Yeah, but seeing as I sit in the front and can't see behind me, that's sort of acceptable, don't you think?" I glared back up at him.

I knew I was invisible. I always knew it. No one really ever payed much attention to me. Especially the kind of attention I was getting right now—and that was because Edward Cullen was standing in front of my desk talking to me. The eyes of my classmates were on us, watching.

Edward frowned. He seemed upset, like he was confused about my attitude towards him.

"Look," I sighed. "Don't worry about it. I expected as much. It doesn't matter." I shrugged, ignoring the flicker of emotion in his green eyes, and straightened up. "You don't have to talk to me—I don't need any sympathy. I am fine, thank you." I tired to sound polite.

He looked sincerely confused now. He lent in closer to me, and I couldn't move.

"Why are you talking this way?" he demanded. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me," I muttered. "I'm just letting you off the hook. I can understand if I'm some embarrassment to you, and I don't want you to feel obligated in talking to me like you're afraid to hurt my feelings or something."

He rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. I imagined the girls in the class swooning in their seats. "What are you talking about? I thought after Friday night—"

I didn't need a reminder.

"I'm talking about seeing you earlier on," I hissed. "And don't worry about Friday night. I know, I understand. I didn't expect any follow up. Nothing was going on, nothing happened, nothing mattered . . ."

"It mattered to me," he said, and his voice sounded hurt. Like I'd said something offensive. Crap. "And I'm not just talking to you because I have to. Why do I have to? I want to."

I shook my head. "Right. You really looked eager to see me this morning."

Understanding flickered across his face as realization hit. Well, what did he expect? That I was going to be totally oblivious?

"Bella," he said quietly. He looked upset. I noticed that murmurings were going around across the room at the little scene we were causing. I had all but forgotten Mike.

"Bella," he said again. "Please stop being so stupid. Cut the crap, alright? I thought we'd established the fact that we weren't going to assume anything about the other person. So stop acting like I'm some freaking superhero who's waved off all his fans so he can talk to the girl who's feelings he doesn't want to hurt. I'm not like that!"

I glared at him. I could feel swells of emotion under the surface, bottling up.

"But this morning—"

"This morning I was a dickhead, alright!" he cut me off. "I'm sorry, I honestly didn't think you'd think anything of it, and obviously I was wrong. Jared was just being stupid, saying all this stuff, and I just didn't think."

I was going to say something back. I really don't know what, but my mouth was ready, open. He looked into my eyes, so deeply I felt the headache coming back on. Like he was trying to convey something to me without any verbal communication.

"Leave me alone," I whispered frigidly, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.

His face twisted in response to my words, and being the coward that I was, I faced away from him so I didn't feel compelled to look at him.

That was when the teacher entered the classroom.

I didn't see for myself, but I assumed Edward went back to his seat _up the back_. Because the teacher started his lecture, explaining what would be on the schedule for the day, and he didn't look surprised like he would if a student was standing in the aisle. I could feel Mike looking at me, so I ignored him, focusing on the notes I was taking in my book.

I was torn in two. Half of me wanted Edward to go, to leave, so I didn't have to see him.

The other half?

The other half wished he was still here, telling me all the things I wanted to hear.

Which side would win out? And did it really matter in the end?

I was positive of one thing: I was worrying way too much over the Edward Cullen issue I had sworn to myself not to worry over.

**PLEEEAAASE tell me that was okay. God, how I fret. Next chapter will still be in the classroom, because Edward has some very important things to say. He really needs to get them off his chest, the poor guy. And I'm wondering if Alice **_**should**_** bump into Jasper???**

**Hmmm…**

**Xo**


	7. Settling Down

Wow. Thanks for everything last chapter guys. But I'm just going to tell you two things in case anyone is wondering . . .

**Bella is very insecure. She's unsure of herself and is instantly on the defence whenever she's around Edward. The reason? He's like the guy everyone either wants to be or be **_**with**_**. So if she sounds a little self centred, she doesn't mean it. She's protecting herself from what's the unknown to her. The night at the party, some of her defences got taken down when she was with Edward, but seeing him now at school, in such a familiar surrounding, kind of brought them back up. **

**Edward soooooo doesn't love Bella secretly or anything. He doesn't even like her in that way. This story is going to be as realistic as I can possibly make it, so they aren't going to fall into that so quickly. He hardly knows her, and vice versa. Edward is just intrigued with Bella, and finds himself drawn to her in a way he can't explain. Reality check? He didn't even know she existed not three days ago in the story. No, he just finds her interesting. And Bella? Bella is inwardly mad at herself that she's so attracted to Edward—I mean, who wouldn't be? So she finds herself kind of fascinated with him in return. But she does mean what she said to Alice—it will take a lot for her to break out of her shell and admit to liking someone.**

**Hope that helps! I've always actually wanted to write one of those explanation thingies…**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

7. Settling Down

The teacher cleared his throat once more as he gave us the final instruction on what we'd be doing today. He looked gleeful, like he was proud of himself for his fantastic idea.

I looked away from him, staring blindly at the blackboard that had notes written on it in a slanted elegant script.

Apparently we all had a new science project due in the next three weeks, and we were to get started with it right away. Each group would be studying a certain animal closely, and we had to write at the end of it a huge essay describing how it had adapted and all the crap that goes along with it. We'd have diary entries each lesson to log what we got up to, what we found out . . . and then there would be an end presentation in front of the class. Pretty straightforward stuff.

"You'll be partnered up, guys," the teacher informed us, "with your normal lab partner. The class will have an excursion to the Zoo in two weeks time so you can study your animal closer up in its habitat." He tucked his chin in, looking at us above the frames of his thick glasses. "And I want to remind you that this will be a huge assessment task and will influence your grade severely. I don't want you coming to me at then end of three weeks with a bunch of first grade nonsense. This is complex, detailed and scientific informational study we're after."

He paused there for a moment, as if for maximum impact. I wasn't too sure anyone was really paying that much attention. A trip to the zoo, and we were in our last year of high school?

"You may begin," he added, "by deciding what animal you'll study. I'm not going to baby you through it, so you'll be working independently."

He smiled a hard smile, and then sat down at his desk and busied himself with his laptop.

That was our sign to continue. There was a brief moment of silence, and then voices began to buzz out in a hurry to fill it.

"So," Mike said, bringing my attention back to my lab partner. His voice was enthusiastic. "What animal we doing, hey?"

"Um . . ." I frowned, trying to think of a good one. Did this really count under the category of Biology? "I don't really mind. Do you have any ideas?" A few students around us were already out of their seats, discussing with others their plans.

Mike smiled. "Yeah. But I don't think I'll be able to choose. We can do whatever you want."

I hated that. Things being left up to me. I pursed my lips as I considered, and stared at him whilst doing so. A thought occurred to me, and I hesitated before running it by him.

"Well . . . it's alright if you don't want to, but I was thinking something in the water?"

I waited for his response. He grinned and nodded at me to continue. I gained some confidence from his friendliness and smiled warmly as I said the rest. "Like, seals, maybe?"

Mike laughed. "Seals. Right."

I blushed, and was quick to correct myself. "Well, I said we didn't have to. Why don't you choose? That way—"

"Whoa, whoa," Mike interrupted my mumblings. "I didn't mean it like that. Seals. Cool." He shrugged, and then grinned widely. He had a dimple in his cheek.

I sighed. "Thanks, Mike."

"No worries." He seemed real happy. His face changed, became hopeful. "Hey, you never did answer before, when I asked what you were doing on the weekend? Because I _was_ wondering if you maybe wanted to do something."

I stared at him smiling, waiting. He looked at me expectantly.

"Like, together," he explained.

Oh. _Oh_.

"Oh," I muttered. Stupid of me not to see that one coming. But then, the topic had changed from seals to this pretty quickly.

Then I thought over what he said, and felt pretty bad.

Guilt made me speak quieter, and I hoped he realised I didn't want to offend him.

"Mike," I said slowly. "Hey, thanks for asking, but I'm not sure if I really want to—"

He interrupted me again, but this time with a wave of his hands. He seemed determined to never let me get the full turn down out. "Chill. It's fine. Maybe you want to catch up with friends anyway?" He still looked hopeful, and I wished he was aware that I wouldn't be changing my mind. His blue eyes looked eager, but I could detect some hints of disappointment looming in them as well that he was trying to hide.

"Oh, sure," I said, hoping I sounded enthusiastic. "That'd be cool."

He smiled and nodded his head a fair bit. "Cool, yeah."

I smiled at him, and then turned to stare back at the front of the room. That hadn't been the first time he'd asked me that, and I _hated_ having to say no every time. But I wasn't about to say yes, either, in case he thought that entailed something. I could never do that to somebody.

I sat there in my silent mortification I was trying my best to hide.

"Well," Mike said, leaning forward so he was in my sight and attention. "How are we going to start this project off?"

I looked at him from the corners of me eyes. "Why don't we find the animals seals are related to? That might give us a hint as to their ancestral structure."

He nodded once. "Yaaaah," he drawled out. "Err, how would we do that?"

Before I could answer, the teacher droned out rather loudly, "Indemnity forms at the front of my desk. It needs to be handed in by next Monday." And then returned, absorbed in his work.

I blinked. I looked down at Mike. "Want one?"

"Yeah, thanks," he said as I stood to retrieve the form. A few other students were up front already, too, but most hadn't moved at all.

I walked up to the front and grabbed doubles of the notice before turning around to walk back—something stopped me before I could even take a step.

"Hey, again, Bella," Edward said smoothly, cutting off my line of path. He was smiling cheekily down at me with both his eyebrows raised, as if out previous conversation twenty minutes ago hadn't taken place.

"Hey," I muttered and then tried to weave around him. He held his arm out to stop me.

"Why are you so keen to back to your seat? Expecting Mike to ask you out again?"

I stopped and stared up at him in disbelief. Was he not aware that the old man of a teacher was right behind me and capable of hearing his every word?

"Don't be so mean," I muttered in Mike's defence. Edward's tone sounded like he was making fun of him.

He looked smug, and winked at me. "He's too good for you anyway."

I felt another tinge of anger, but stifled it. If he wanted to be annoying, he was entitled.

I tried to step around him again, and was once more blocked. Did this teacher notice _anything_?

"I told you to leave me alone," I reminded him. "So please excuse me."

He completely ignored me and acted like I hadn't spoken. The nerve. "What animal are you doing your project on?" he asked in a light voice.

I took a deep lungful of air and forced myself to look at him square in the face. Why he had to look so distracting was beyond me. I was beginning to feel a familiar blush spreading across my cheeks and I knew I would be beet red soon if this didn't stop, because I sometimes got like that when frustrated.

I let my air out with a big, heavy sigh and rolled my eyes to the ceiling. With determination and force, I stepped around him, sick of it.

He grabbed my arm.

I whirled around, ready to let him have it, but his face caught me off guard.

"Please, Bella?" he pleaded, his voice unexpectedly soft. He let go of my hand, and I felt it swing loosely to my side. Something in his composure had changed, shifted.

"Please what?"

"Please can you just listen to me?"

The words were out of my mouth before I could take them back. Perhaps the gentleness of his face caught me off guard and I was no longer in control of my brain. Perhaps it was the sarcasm that usually marred his attitude that was absent as he asked me. I had no idea. "Yes," I said, for some stupid, unknown reason. "But," I added quickly, "Not right now because I have a _project_ _partner_ to get back to."

And Edward smiled. "Thanks," he said, grinning now. A full grin that showed off all his perfectly white teeth. "I'll see you after school then." And he turned around and strolled off to the back of the classroom.

I looked at the pale yellow linoleum floor and slowly gazed back up. My eyes caught Mike's, and he was staring at me, looking bewildered at what had just taken place.

I smiled at him, hoping to calm down the thoughts that were undoubtedly whizzing through his head, and calmly walked back to my table.

"Here's your notice," I said.

--

"So let's get this right," Alice said seriously. "The guy shrugs you off from a distance like you have some seriously strong odour that smells as bad as my Nan's feet, that is wafting through the air and hitting him and his mates with the force of a wrecking ball, and you're talking to him after school?"

I shrugged, fiddling with the food on my tray between my fingers. "Yeah, I guess."

Alice shook her head. "That's silly. Even if you did smell like my Nan's feet—in which case, I'm sorry darling, but I'd be hitching the hell out of here—for him to do that to you, is pretty immature. It would be seriously judgemental." She sniffed. "And, for the record, you smell fine."

I gave her a smirk. "Thanks. Glad that's cleared up. And aren't you implying something there? You expect him to hang around if I smell like your Nan's feet, but you state that even you wouldn't, as my loyal best friend?"

"Bella," Alice sighed sadly. "This is _my_ Nan's feet we're talking about. The smell would flood my mind with many terrible images I have no desire to visit again. For him, it wouldn't entail anything else. And can we just forget the whole smelly-feet comment? It's starting to get out of hand."

The cafeteria was full now, and Alice and I were at our usual table. Most of the time, some other people joined us, like Angela and Ben and sometimes Mike and Jessica as well. Jessica was Angela's best friend, and I liked her, but she has something against me; a worry that got more pronounced each day when she would shoot little glares in my direction. Angela had tipped me off that it wasn't exactly _me_; it was the attention I was getting from Mike.

Like that was supposed to make me feel better.

But today it was just Alice and me alone at our little table in the little corner. I think everyone else sensed that we needed time to ourselves, because Alice was basically sending off waves of tension and burning curiosity as we had bought our lunch.

"I was a little harsh," I admitted. "I don't know—I just don't want to be made a fool of, you know?"

Alice nodded her head animatedly. "Of course. Oh well, maybe he needs to get treated with some bluntness before the whole attitude toward him goes to his head. We don't want him ruined before you—" She stopped midsentence, and snapped her mouth shut. I thought I heard her mutter to herself, "I _did_ promise I wouldn't . . ."

"Well," I said to change the subject, "I have a new science assignment thing. And I'm working with Mike."

She raised her eyebrows, picking up her drink and unscrewing the lid. "Really," she said. "How closely will you two be working?"

"Oh, real close, Al," I said to humour her. "It's going to be fantastic—so romantic; I mean, why wouldn't it be when we're studying the behavioural reasons behind the movement of seals?"

She laughed. "That would be cute, too," she told me, sipping her drink from the tip of the straw she'd shoved in it.

I wasn't paying an overly lot of attention, but something in the stiff movement of Alice made me look up to see her pretty eyes widen and the straw to fall limply out of her mouth as she set the drink on the table a little unsteadily.

I was about to turn around automatically to see what she was focusing on behind me, but something shoved into my leg and stopped me.

"Ow," I mouthed, trying to keep silent as the surprisingly large amount of pain emitted from the small kick of Alice's leg had emitted. I winced, rubbing my shin with my other foot under the table, and purposely focusing on not turning around; it was obviously what she wanted.

Alice smiled, eyes locked on something over my shoulder, and waved her hand. It was a casual gesture, but one with all the grace held in her tiny palm. I was sure I couldn't do anything like that.

I didn't see what was going on behind me, but then Alice's eyes snapped to mine and she leant forward, her shoulders hunching up around her neck and let out a muted squeal, staring at me. A small, kept-in-check smile was playing on her face in funny ways. She nodded her head behind me, and I took this as my queue to turn; I swivelled my head around just in time to see Jasper turning away, hands balled in his pockets, all tall and understated-looking. The expression on his face had been happy, but really shy at the same time. Like he was actually nervous around Alice.

Aw, that couldn't get any cuter!

I looked back at Alice with a huge grin. "Wow," I said.

She buried her hands in her face, shaking her head, and then peeked at me between her fingers. "Gah," she groaned. She dropped one of her hands, leaving the other to rub the side of her cheek. She inhaled deeply.

"Good luck after school," she said after clearing her throat. She seemed really happy, but not wanting to talk about it. "Do you want me to wait around for you so we can catch a different bus home together?"

I shook my head, trying to ignore the flutter in my stomach as I realized I didn't want anyone else interfering with _our_ time.

"No, no, it's fine," I assured her. "I don't want to hold you up, and I won't be very long, so I won't be getting home late or anything.

"Okay," she agreed easily. She wasn't one to argue . . .

Most of the time.

--

_Crap_, I thought to myself. _Crap_, _crap_, _crap_.

Why hadn't I taken the time to make sure he had elaborated on what "after school" meant? Now here I was, internally debating whether or not just to forget all about it and head straight home, or hang around school and wait. Hanging around school and waiting for someone who might not turn up.

Oh well. He'd asked, and here I was. I would give him some time to show up, and then if he hadn't, I would go home.

I was loitering around the edge of the student car park. Having not agreed on the time or place of our meeting up, I figured this was a logical place to wait. He, like his brother, owned a nice flash car that he drove to school every day; if he walked up to it, he'd be able to see me.

My book bag was strung across my shoulder, my jacket thrown over my arm, my back leaning against the back of the brick building. I was staring at the sky, at the grey clouds stretched out before me.

"You waited?"

I lowered my eyes from the sky to the boy that was standing before me. He was smiling, and his smile was crooked; contentment, wonder and surprise all weaved through it. Standing before me and smiling, dressed in sweats and a tight singlet that clung to him in such a way that it defined the sharp angles of his body all the more. His hair was messed, and all the better for it, with a dark blue sports bag slung carelessly over his shoulder.

He'd just come from Gym. He'd just come from Gym dressed all casual and sweaty from his workout. He'd just come from Gym with all his mates and no doubt probably had to fend them off so he could meet up with me.

Things were starting to look promising.

"I said I would," I pointed out as I shrugged off the wall. I raised my hands in a wonderment gesture and let them drop. "So here I am."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm glad."

We stood there for a moment apart from each other, not knowing what to say. Only whereas I probably looked as awkward as hell, he looked like he should be filming sport adds.

So you had an alright day?" he asked eventually, scratching the back of his head with his hand.

"Yes," I said cautiously. Then I sighed. "You don't have to bother with all the customary polite stuff. You can just tell me what you have to say."

I didn't say it as harshly as it sounded; I was letting him off the hook with worrying how to diplomatically get to what he wanted off his chest. He could bite the bullet and I wouldn't think any less.

He appreciated this; he exhaled loudly through his nose and nodded his head. "Thanks," he said, and then grimaced. "Well, firstly—and I'm really bad at this—but I'm sorry about this morning."

He waited, but I didn't say anything. I watched him, thinking.

"Really sorry," he continued when I didn't offer anything. "It's just"—he pressed his lips together, trying to phrase it right; the toe of his shoe dug into the soft ground—"Have you ever done something you know is stupid but it happens so quickly you don't really think?"

He was trying to explain, trying to get me to understand it was all just a quick couple of seconds to him that happened too fast for him to change anything.

I looked up at him; his face was troubled and I didn't like to make him feel this anxious. I nodded slowly, and then looked at the ground. "Yeah, I guess it's okay," I told him.

When I looked up at him again he was smiling lightly like a huge loud had been taken off his shoulders. "Really?" he asked, sounding taken aback. "That was easy."

I laughed, and it felt good to do so again in his presence. "Well, I've had time to be really embarrassed about how I acted towards you in Biology, and time to think things over. I guess I'm sorry too."

He laughed now. "You're anger is very impressive," he noted.

"Yeah, as is your ability to be annoyingly persistent."

He gave me that one with a sly smile. "I get like that when faced with a challenge," he admitted.

I laughed again.

He grinned, too, and things felt normal. Strangely normal. I wasn't used to feeling so comfortable around someone else so quickly.

"I really missed you after the party," he confessed, cocking his head to the side as his eyes raked my face. "Everything else kinda sucked after that."

I kept my smile even, but I was happier now than before. "I'm sure Tanya was pleased at your reappearance," I teased.

He slipped his tongue over his upper lip and shrugged. "Yeah . . ." he said, trailing off. "I guess you could say that."

We stood across from each other, and I liked the spot I'd picked out to meet him with. It was far enough from the students driving home and not too reclusive.

"Are you going to tell me what animal you're doing for Bio now?" he asked.

I nodded, looking at him sheepishly. "Yeah, I was really mean, wasn't I?"

He paused before answering. "No," he dragged out.

I snorted.

"You were . . . tough. But that's a good thing." He held up a hand. "Hang on—do you mind if we sit? I'm exhausted; Coach has just about tripled the normal expectations in Gym than any other normal lesson."

I grimaced. "Sure," I agreed. I slipped down the wall until I was sitting with my back against it, and watched as Edward gracefully folded himself into a relaxed sitting position as well, dumping his bag on the ground. He leant his weight on one arm.

"Tripled the expectations?" I repeated incredulously, dread tightening my stomach.

He chuckled. "Not a fan of sport?"

"You . . . could say that."

He smiled. "Don't worry; I think you'll be safe. It was probably a one-off thing."

"Oh, yeah, right . . ."

"So you're animal is . . ." he prompted me.

"Oh," I said again. "The seal."

He cracked a smirk. "I'm sure Mike is loving the prospect."

"Hey," I defended myself weakly. "Seals are fine animals."

He nodded. "No offence intended," he was quick to add in. "I'm doing the lion."

I struggled to compose my face, and I shut my eyes to keep the giggles that threatened to escape at bay. There was no way I wanted to show him how immature I was being in this instant. But his words just sounded funny coming out of his mouth.

What he just said must have dawned on him, and he groaned. I opened my eyes to see him push his hair out of his face. "Honestly?" he questioned me. "You're the person who finds something suss in everything someone else says?"

"No," laughed, not being able to keep it in. "Hardly. But you were just so serious when you said it . . ." I giggled and then took a deep breath to calm down.

He waited patiently, looking amused at my obvious immaturity in this moment. But, hell, I was hardly perfect, and I was imaging the news that would create if it got out . . .

"Who's your partner?" I asked to distract myself, and hopefully to stop embarrassing myself.

"Lauren Mallory," he said with a slight wrinkle of his nose.

I grimaced. "Ouch," I said.

"Hey, it's better than Mike Newton."

"Is not!" I complained. "Be nice, he's my friend."

Edward snorted. "Doesn't it get annoying having a friend who's constantly pestering you for more?"

"How do you know that?" I asked blankly.

"You're behaviour today explained everything. You're like an open book, waiting to be read."

I huffed.

"Doesn't it get annoying having friend's who flirt you up at any chance they can get?"

Edward gave me a sarcastic expression.

"Well?" I challenged.

He sighed. "Fine, I'll leave your 'friend' alone."

I nodded. "Good."

Then I glanced down at my watch, noticing the time. I sighed.

He noticed. "You gotta get going?"

I grimaced, and inclined my head. 'Yeah, if I'm not home, Alice will be calling me. She worries like she's my mother. What she expects to happen to me an hour after school I have no idea . . ."

Edward nodded and rose, brushing the back of his pants. I tried not to stare as I gazed up at him.

"Where do you live?" he asked. "I can give you a lift."

I hurried to stand, too, and opened my mouth to refuse.

"That wasn't an offer," he stated. "That was statement. I made you late, so I'll drop you off home."

I grabbed my bag from the ground and hugged it to my chest. The prospect of him dropping me off home was oddly intimidating.

"No, please, I'd prefer getting the bus."

"No one prefers public transport, Bella," he said. "Don't be silly." He grabbed my bag from my protesting hands and picked his bag up also.

"Come on," he urged me. "My car's the silver one." And he began to walk away.

Shit. I really did want to get a ride—it would be nice—but I wasn't so sure about him giving me a lift. I knew it was stupid to be insecure and I knew he probably wasn't that shallow, but having him see where I lived was embarrassing to me, when I'd seen the monstrosity of his actually house.

At least I didn't live with my parents—that would be worse in this situation.

"I'll leave with your bag," he threatened over his shoulder as I hesitated, torn.

"Oh, blast it," I muttered as I ran to catch up.

**I'm happy. I'm very happy.**

**I think you guys make me happy.**

**I think writing this makes me happy.**

**I hope this makes you happy, too :)**

**(Oh, and sorry for typos and errors and such . . . I was desperate to get this up now, otherwise I would have had to wait a week to do it—so it was typos or no story. Sorry! **


	8. Talks and Phone Calls

**Mmmsss. By the way—and just a warning in advance, this isn't some crazy ultimatum or threat or anything; I will continue writing this no matter what, unless I die (god forbid) or something else crazy like that—but I just wanted to say thanks for all the reviews ******** I guess, without consciously deciding so, it's kind of like the more responses you get the more motivated you are to write and post up more stuff sooner.**

**(I'm sure there are peeps reading this, going, "Yer, no shiz," but whatever!)**

**Anyhoo, enough about my boring life. Onto something that is hopefully more exciting.**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

8. Talks and Phone Calls 

"So, have you lived here all your life?"

We were past the silly inane chatter and onto more serious topics of discussion, it seemed.

"No. I used to live with my mother until about three or four years ago. That's when I decided I needed to sort some things out, so I moved in with Charlie. Of course, for the past year I've been living with Alice."

He nodded to himself as he sped down the slick road. I turned to look out the window of the passenger seat, at the tall, green trees that whizzed past us in rows. Self-consciously, I allowed a thick curtain of hair to fall over my shoulder so there was at least some form of a barrier between us.

"Sort what kind of things out?" he inquired after a moment of silence. He sounded absorbed in the dreary facts of my slow life.

I peeked at him between the strands of my hair and caught him glancing my way. I smiled and shook my head, returning to gazing out the window.

The silence continued.

His car was . . . nice. And that was a serious understatement. The shiny, black leather interior frightened me, and I was seriously scared I would somehow ruin its perfect up kept condition by just sitting on it. He seemed relaxed, though. Relaxed and curious.

"What's your mother's name?"

I sighed, real quietly.

"Sorry," he said immediately. "You don't have to tell me anything. In fact, you can tell me to shut the hell up."

I turned my head around more fully, so I was looking square at him. His words were serious, but a slight smirk was playing on his face.

"No, no," I murmured. "I don't mind—really." I looked across at him in wonderment as I sat in his expensive car.

He looked back at me, feeling my gaze, and smiled in encouragement. I swallowed nervously.

When his eyes had returned safely to the road, I answered his question. "Renee. Her name's Renee." I purposely looked down at the car's consol as I spoke and elaborated. "She's awfully forgetful, can turn frustratingly childish when faced with adversity—sometimes to the point of unfairness—and is also a very welcoming person, in the sense that she's open to all sorts of people."

I could feel him looking at me once again, but I didn't move my eyes a centimetre. He needed to learn to keep his eyes on the road.

"And your father?" His voice was more enthusiastic than before, as if he was glad I was taking the initiative to provide him with more wholesome answers.

"Dad? Um . . ." I looked out to the road and then interjected rather quickly, "Take a left here." He complied and slid into the next lane for the turn rather smoothly. I continued. "Well, Charlie's very different from Renee, in terms of personality traits. He's actually really easy to persuade, whereas you have to work at it with my mum. He's obsessed with what he calls 'the simple life' and is always trying to find new ways to save on money. And he's actually the town's—"

"Chief of police," Edward finished for me. "I know."

I was surprised. I swivelled my head around to look at him. "How do you know that?"

He grinned. "I may have had a run in with him once or twice."

I gaped at him openly. It took me a second to form words. "Seriously? I thought you said you've never been arrested?!"

He was amused. He slyly glanced at me from the corners of his eyes as a wicked grin plastered his face. "No, that's true," he told me cheerfully. "But that doesn't mean I haven't gotten into a little bit of trouble before."

"How little?" I demanded. Now that I was staring at him, he seemed content on focussing on the road.

"If I told you that," he said, "I'd have to kill you."

Normally, if I was functioning in the correct manner my personality controlled, I would have rolled my eyes at his statement. As it was, I was just instantly more fascinated.

"Please?" I pleaded. "Don't you think under the circumstances, with my accepting a lift from an almost-stranger who is a fairly strange man, you could tell me, for my own safety?"

He just laughed and shook his head and asked if he was going in the right direction. I sat back in my seat and sighed.

I didn't push it anymore than I had. If I was being fair, there were things _I_ wasn't telling him, either.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" he asked, trying to distract me and condone an obvious subject change. It worked, in some sense. I supposed he was entitled to keep things from me when I'd done the same to him.

"No," I told him. "Only child."

"Same," he said. "Well, in some sense. You know about Emmett, obviously."

I nodded slowly, and then bit my lip. "Edward?" I asked rather tentatively. "Can you tell me about your family?"

It was a sensitive subject, to me, to broach. After all, I knew for a fact that his family situation was a lot more interesting in the way that it was devastating, and we weren't exactly "close" yet.

"Yeah . . ." he trailed off. "What exactly do you want to know?"

I paused, scrutinizing his face to double-check that everything really _was_ okay. He seemed fine; his green eyes were fixed on the traffic ahead and his jaw was relaxed into a calm position. The skin on his brow was smooth, but there was a little crease between his eyes.

My god, how was it fair that he could have such a good side profile? His face was rather sharp and angular but at the same time soft. Masculine, but not to the point where it turned burly.

Grrr…

He noticed the silence and repeated his question. "Bella? What do you want to know?"

I mentally shook myself away from the jealous thoughts I was having. It wasn't his fault he was infuriatingly perfect.

"Err . . . Right. I'm not sure," I admitted. My cheeks went a little pink and my voice involuntarily went soft. "Are your real parents still alive?"

I didn't know the story behind Edward's adoption. Unlike Tanya's one, that had been kept pretty quiet and so I had no idea. All everyone knew—or, at least, all everyone talked about—was the gossip behind Edwards' freakishly rich and freakishly good-looking adoptive parents, and how freaky it was for them to adopt two freakishly good-looking sons to add to the overbearing freakishly good-looks in the one family alone.

I had a feeling there was a little bit more to it than that.

Edward bit his lip.

"You know what?" I said rather loudly and sudden. "Forget I asked. I really don't want to be rude, and for all I know—"

"Shut up, Bella," Edward said dismissively. I fell quiet at once.

Did he just tell me to _shut_ _up_ . . . ?

"My parents died," he said in a calm manner before I could so much a gape in astonishment. "They died in a car accident when I was five years old."

I stopped breathing. Oh my god. I felt appalled and mortified at myself for bringing such a morbid topic up. Like he wanted to talk about something that horrible.

He noticed my current frozen state and turned to look at me.

"Hey, it's alright," he said, trying to comfort me.

He was talking about his dead parents and _he_ was doing the comforting.

I needed to pull myself together—there was something wrong in that, and I wouldn't allow it.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, feeling like an insensitive moron.

"I said it was fine." He surprised me by reaching a hand out and placing it gently on my knee. He gave it a reassuring rub. "I don't remember them that well. And I promise you, you have to stop worrying. I swear that if you ask a question and I don't want to answer it, I won't." He shrugged. "You have to stop apologizing for everything you do."

"I'm sorry," I said automatically, staring at his hand on my knee. I moved my eyes to his face, and it dawned on me what I had just said.

We both cracked up laughing.

When we calmed down, he shook his head. "Honestly, I don't mind talking about my parents to you at all."

"Do you miss them?" I was back to whispering without even realizing it.

He hesitated. "Yes . . . definitely. But then, at the same time, I don't remember them too well. And I'm not saying that I'm glad of what happened, but without that I would never have known Esme and Carlisle—my new parents," he added when I gave him a dubious look, "Who I'm lucky to have. And I guess I wouldn't have met Emmett, either," he added.

He gave me time for that to sink in.

"I'm a firm believer, you know," I told him.

"Firm believer of what?"

"Everything happening for a reason." I could see he looked lost, so I elaborated. "I mean, like, one thing leading to another. That there's a reason behind it all in the grand scheme of things, even if we can't always see the outcome immediately." I looked at him shrewdly. "I would apologize for how that could be construed into callousness, but you just told me off for that, so I won't. But I do want you to know that wasn't excusing what happened to your parents as part of life. It is, and it isn't, and it's also irrelevant. It's tragic and horrible, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise."

"Jesus," he muttered, shaking his head and hiding his expression from my curious eyes.

"What?" I straightened up in my seat and looked around wildly. "What did I do?"

He moved his head to the side so he could see me. He looked shocked, but there was some other combination of emotions there as well. Then abruptly he was laughing weakly.

He really had me worried.

"You hardly know anything about it, and yet no one—not the vicar at the funeral, or Carlisle and Esme, or my friends who know, or even all the fucked-up councillors they took me to when I was younger—no one has ever put it like that to me before." He laughed again, this time a little louder.

I floundered around uselessly, worrying that he was having some kind of breakdown, triggered by my words.

"Bella," he said, and somehow managed to lace my name with surprising tenderness. He composed his face. "My god you are amazing."

"What?"

He shook his head and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "I know I'm making you even later getting home, but you have to know—you are just amazing."

I opened my mouth, but I had no acceptable response for that one.

"Look," he said. "I know I can seem a little—or a lot, I suppose—like a jerk to you sometimes, but I swear, I'm never going to _not_ pester the shit out of you if this is the kind of advice your brains spits out at me."

"Th—Thank you?"

He smiled. "Now _I'm_ sorry," he told me lightly. He straightened his face out into a mask of sincerity and sighed. "Sorry if I'm freaking you out. But I just feel kind of enlightened, as corny as that sounds. You should know, I don't really tell a whole lot of people about my parents—not even as little as I told you—but you're just so easy to talk to."

I smiled, calming down know that he was acting a bit saner.

"Glad I can be of some service," I joked lightly. "And as much as I am enjoying the twists and turns of this conversation, I really do think I need to get home before Alice reports a homicide. She'll suspect you killed me and carted me off to a dumpster or something crazy."

He nodded. "We nearly there?" he asked as he took the road I indicated.

"About two minutes away. I was contemplating running out of the car and down the street to my house so I could call an ambulance, so I'm glad you're alright, and saving me the embarrassment and injury _that_ would have entailed."

He chuckled.

"Take a right at the end of this street, and then my house is at the very end on the left," I instructed him.

He complied without a word.

As we drew closer to home, the nervousness that had been dulled by our raging conversations started to make its appearance known once more. But at this stage of things, who cared what he thought? There was no reason for me to be self-conscious about where I lived when there were so many homeless people around the world a hell of a lot worse off than me.

I swallowed. "It's this one just there," I managed to get out surprisingly clearly, pointing at the long lot of apartments stacked up neatly on top of one another.

He didn't say anything; he just waited patiently until the traffic allowed him to pull into a suitable spot, right outside it.

He cut the engine off, and the silence was somehow thick and heavy.

"Well, um, thanks," I said when he made no move to speak. I grabbed my bag from where I had stashed it—after he'd given it back—at my feet and pulled in onto my lap.

I waited.

"Want me to walk you up?" he offered.

"No thanks," I was quick to say. "I'll be fine."

He grinned. "Alright. I'm glad you were sensible and allowed me to drive you home."

I nodded. "Yeah."

He snickered and looked out the side of his window, shaking his head.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I checked, still feeling awkward.

His eyes flickered to mine. "I'm sure you will."

I nodded. "Kay. Bye."

Hopefully I wasn't overly quick as I popped the door open and slid out. My anxiousness to be safely inside my four walls was becoming overbearing.

"See you," I heard him say before I slammed the door shut and waved him goodbye.

With one last look at the shiny silver car—windows so dark I couldn't see in—I turned around and made my way inside.

EPOV (Don't you just love me??)

I sighed to myself as I wove in and out of the late afternoon traffic. I was supposed to be meeting up with my parent's again later on this evening, and although I supposed it was good catching up with them, I really didn't have the time.

I'd promised, though, so there was no backing out now. Like my previous visit on Saturday morning, this was to do with Emmett's looming birthday and the plans for the celebration that needed to be finalised. This wasn't going to be some stupid teen party with the usual stale laughs and conceited people. There was going to be very strict rules on the guest list, and I hadn't mentioned it to anyone, anyway, sans Jasper—he knew everything; if there was one person I could trust, it was him—so it would be highly unlikely the news would get out.

Hopefully.

Esme was being her usual self and was worrying endlessly that it wouldn't be perfect. I wasn't fussed, though. There was no way the plans wouldn't work.

It took about a fifteen minute drive until I reached home, and I was grateful for the arrival.

I really needed a shower; I probably stunk.

I made it inside without any fuss, but it was when I hit the kitchen for some water that I was interrupted.

"Hey, kid," Emmett greeted me, grinning. I'd walked in, straight passed the dining table, dumping my bag on the floor in the process, and apparently had overlooked Emmett sitting on one of the bar stools near the counter.

I looked over my shoulder and grinned. "Hey," I said, not stopping as I headed for the fridge and got out a bottle of water. "What you up to?" I slammed the fridge closed.

I unscrewed the lid of the bottle and tossed it onto the counter before tipping the bottle up and swallowing almost half its contents. I chugged it down, not having realized how thirsty I had been.

Emmett watched in amusement from his casual stance.

When I was finished, I ran a hand through my hair to get it out of my face and I dumped the bottle dismissively on the counter.

"Wow," Emmett whistled. "Man, you look like shit."

I rolled my eyes at him. I leant over the counter on my elbows and grinned. "Hard day. But you didn't answer; what are you doing?"

Emmett chuckled and patted his stomach. "Being a big man such as myself, sometimes we need to provide ourselves with enough sustenance to carry on throughout the day." He pushed his plate away from him. "While you're there, mind getting me something to drink?"

I straightened up and shook my head. "Nope. Sorry, you're going to have to be a big man and get it yourself. I've got to run."

"Esme?" Emmett inquired.

I smiled. "Of course." Something occurred to me. "Oh, and here—" I reached into my pocket and retrieved the set of keys stashed in there. "Take these," I said, chucking them at him. "There for Carlisle's office. You need to pick something up for him."

"Pick up what?" Emmett asked, but I was already out of the room and hurrying up the stairs. I was going to be late.

I checked my phone and cursed under my breath when I realized I had five missed calls. Pulling up into the place, I didn't bother to check them, because I could already guess who they were from.

I got out of my car quickly and loosened the clean beater I'd chucked on after my shower. Emmett had been completely baffled when he spotted me running out of the house not twenty minutes later, but I really hadn't had time to explain. Even as it was, I was running on the spare forty-five minutes I had before I had to leave again.

Hopefully James wouldn't be too pissed.

I jogged up the steps to his porch and ran the doorbell. I paced back and forth as I listened to the noises inside before the door cracked opened.

"Edward!" a voice exclaimed. I stopped and turned to face him.

"Hey, James," I grinned, looking him over. "You look well—what was all the crap about not going to school today?"

He laughed, widening the doorway. "Just wait until you hear." He nodded his head for me to enter, and I walked in past him, turning to watch him close the door behind him.

"Where are your parents at?" I asked, noticing it was oddly quiet inside.

He shrugged, kicking a pair of shoes that were discarded near the door away from his path. "They left," he said. A cheeky grin spread across his face. "And the good shit? They left for the rest of the entire week."

I snorted. "Lovely. Who's going to do the cleaning up then? 'Cuz you must be crazy if you think I'm going to volunteer to do it."

James waved away what I was saying with a movement of his hands and ushered me further into the house. We ended up in the living room where the television was blaring rather loudly, with some football match airing on screen.

"What's going on?" I asked, hoping for further detail. "You kick off school—which I guess it understandable—but you weren't even at the party the other night, and Jasper said someone had called you . . ." Not that Jasper was too keen on James, anyway.

James laughed and that wicked grin lit his face again. He leant back into his chair, completely relaxed. I noticed that a few empty bottles were cluttering the coffee table, and I wondered how much he'd had. For Christ sake's it wasn't even the evening yet.

"Well, I told you—my parents went off on some business errand so I've got the place to myself for a week. So, I invited some company and I really wasn't in any shape for school today, so whatever." He looked at me. "You didn't really miss out on anything, though, Edward, it was only a couple of people." He laughed. "But I did meet one person . . . she was kind of cool."

I grinned in disbelief at my friend. His version of the word "cool" when it involved females was generally used when he was hinting that he'd gotten some.

"Okay," I said. "But why am I here?"

James leant back even further and threw his arms behind his head. "Jeez. So I'm not allowed to invite a close buddy around without there needing to be a reason?"

"No, it's fine," I said, reflexively checking the time on my watch. "But I've got to leave in less than an hour."

James snickered lowly and reached forward to grasp one of the bottles. It was basically empty, and he drained it in one gulp.

"Want one?" he asked as he got up to get some more. "I've got so much of this shit I could house a party every night."

"Nah," I said. "I'm fine."

He snorted and left the room.

I looked at the screen for a minute, but the game was from the night before and couldn't hold my interest. As I stared at the beige carpet covering the floor, I heard somebody enter the room.

I looked up, expecting to see James, and had a double take when I realized who was there.

"Sorry," I said after a second. I gestured at the screen. "Arr—James invited me round."

There was a girl standing in the doorway, and I could hazard a guess as to who it was from what James had told me before. She was tall, with fiery orange hair that waved down her back and a level stare that surprised me.

After all, she was standing in the doorway wearing nothing but a light silk robe that was tied around her waist loosely, and was fast to coming undone altogether.

I turned back to the television, away from her, hoping I hadn't embarrassed her. It might have been better if James had warned this so-called Victoria of my arrival.

I expected her to leave, or mumble an apology, or _something_, but not what she did. She stepped closer to me until she was in my line of vision again.

I stared at her face, wondering what the hell she was doing.

She smiled, a vindictive smile that was alluring and calm. Her full lips parted and she said very lowly, "I'm Victoria."

I raised my eyebrows. "Nice to meet you," I said bluntly. This was beyond awkward. Where the hell was James?

She seemed completely oblivious to the lack of clothing she was wearing as she stepped closer again. Her head tilted to the side, and I felt, rather than watched—I was trying my upmost to give what privacy I could offer her with her so close to me—her eyes trail over me.

"I got you one just in case—oh." My head snapped up in relief as James strolled into the room carrying to bottles of god-knows-what. He stopped when he spotted Victoria standing there, and then grinned.

"Thanks," I said to break the short silence, "But I'm not having any."

"That's okay," Victoria spoke up. Her eyes were glowing in James's direction. "I'll have it."

"Hey, baby," he enthused, passing her the drink. "You finally up?"

She nodded slowly at him, smiling.

"So you've met my man Edward?" he asked, walking towards the couch. He sat down in the middle and Victoria sat down next to him, one leg crossed beneath her and the other off the edge of the sofa, her posture straight.

"Briefly," she said, unscrewing the lid. "He didn't introduce himself, though." Her voice was light and girly.

"Ah, well Edward's the man to know. Gets all the girls, don't you?" James winked at me and I tried not to grimace. Things were getting uncomfortable.

"Is that so?" Victoria purred, leaning forwards. She gazed at me and I tried not to look back. She took a swig of the drink and murmured her approval.

The pair of them seemed totally ignorant of the fact that her robe had slipped so loose that her breasts where almost completely exposed. And I had no idea what to do. It wasn't as if I was having trouble from keeping myself looking or anything, it was more the disbelief that James wasn't showing any respect for the girl in offering her some sort of cover-up.

"So, Edward," James said. "Tell me about what I missed out on Friday night. Was it wild?"

"I suppose," I shrugged.

"Tell me," he coaxed enthusiastically. "What happened with Tanya? I caught up with her yesterday and she hardly mentioned you. Did your dick fall off? Why the hell did you turn her down! That was the effing most retarded piece of idiocy I've ever heard."

I fidgeted. "I don't know, man. It just didn't feel right."

James rolled his eyes. "Alright. Get all emotional. My god you really must be popular with the girls if you talk trash like that."

Victoria was still staring at me without so much as blinking and I wondered if James was more wasted than I first thought.

It was half way through our nice little conversation that she changed tactics. She leant over James and ran a hand through his hair, leaning in towards him.

"Hey, honey? When are we going back up to bed?" She swooped down and kissed his ear before taking in into her mouth.

I raised my eyebrows in incredulity.

James waved his hand clumsily. He had a crooked grin on his face. "Still want more? I think maybe you're going to have to wait, babe, until Ed here scoots off."

Victoria pouted and ran her finger over his lips. "Really? That long?" She leant into his ear and whispered something. James' grin grew.

"Ha ha," he chuckled. "Bitch isn't satisfied," he hooted at me. "My god, you have to try her out one day Edward. I don't mind sharing."

I stiffened. With the entire disgusting stuff I'd witnessed tonight that had to be the worst. I could take quite a lot of shit, but hell, I'd been raised to show a little more respect to women in general, even ones like Victoria.

I stood up. "You know what? I've got to go, anyway, so I'll just leave you two alone."

James was still laughing. "Fine!" he said. "But I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? We have some serious stuff to talk about."

I waved my hand vaguely behind me, and got the hell out of the house.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I got into the safety of my car, and listened to the familiar purr of the engine as I started it up. I put some heavy music on and listened to it to clam myself down. I knew James could get a little stupid when he was drunk, but I'd never seen it as out of hand as it had been back there.

I shook myself, and then rolled out of the drive way, keen to get as many miles between me and that house as possible. I wasn't all too interested in revisiting any time soon.

BPOV

"What?" I whispered to Alice. "Are you serious?"

Alice was sitting on the bench in the kitchen with such a solemn expression on her face that the question was really a stupid one. But I didn't care. I needed to check.

She nodded slowly, eyes wide. "And she left me the message to pass on to you that she needs you and will be expecting you within the month."

I exhaled and burrowed my head in my hands. Alice's arm reached out to pat me on the shoulder reassuringly. "She's going to call tonight, alright?" she said soothingly. "And I'll be there and together we can tell her to butt the hell—"

"But Alice!" I protested. "She said she needs me."

I lifted my head and looked at my best friend's concerned expression. "My god she can be so unfair."

Alice nodded. "I know, sweetie, but that's just the way she is. She loves you so much she doesn't even notice when she'd doing it."

I took a deep breath.

"Look," Alice said, all business. "Don't think about it or decide until _you_ talk to her. It will be better that way."

"Well, I'll definitely have to visit," I sighed warily. "If Phil really had broken his leg, I want to make sure he's okay."

Alice bit her lip.

I'd gotten home an hour ago, upbeat and happy, to have my mood deflated by an incoming call that arrived when I was taking a bath. I came out to Alice replaying the news of what had happened.

Phil had broken his leg during practise session in baseball. How, I didn't really care, because it wasn't really relevant. But now Renee was more confused and upset and wanted me back even more. To the point where she was saying some stuff that really wasn't very acceptable—but that was my mother for you. She was determined to see me and didn't think about _me_ in the equation when she was begging for me back.

"I told her to talk to Charlie," Alice informed me. "He might be able to talk some sense into her."

I nodded, and then sighed. "Yeah, maybe."

I looked up into Alice's eyes. "You know what?"

She gestured for me to go on.

"I'm not going to let this worry me. I know this is just another one of Renee's spats and it'll blow over in time. I can't just drop everything every time she hits a tough spot. I suppose, though, that some sort of short visit is called for." I peeked slyly at my girlfriend. "You up for a weekend away to Florida?"

Alice gaped and then jumped off the counter.

"I'm so proud of you, Bella!" she squealed. Her arms enveloped me in a hug. "God you sounded so damn _old_ when you said that." She looked up at me with dancing eyes. "But I can't wait for Florida! Oh my god, we have to get ready! And we must go to the beach—I don't care if it's going to be a depressing visit, we'll make it happy."

I smiled. "Yeah. I guess I just made a decision, didn't I?"

Alice nodded and grinned. "And do you know what this calls for?" she sang.

"No, but the question really is, do I want to?"

She poked me in the stomach. "I'm calling Rose. It's about time you two became friends. And then we're going to call in pizza and have a girl night in. My god, I need one."

I patted her spiky hair. "You do that, sunshine. I'm going to go call Renee back now. I don't want to have to wait."

I was dialling the number when Alice raced up behind me.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "I almost forgot! How was that little chat with Edward, hey? Don't think I was totes oblivious to the fact that he dropped you off, because if you think that, you are sadly mistaken."

I shook my head. "Later," I mouthed, for my mother had picked up the phone.

Alice twisted her lips and nodded slowly, eyes wide. Watching me, she slowly retreated around the corner and out of sight.

"Bella?" My mother's voice sounded.

"Hey, mum, it's me. We really need to talk . . ."

**Yippeeeeee! I know things got totally whacked with the whole Victoria/James bit, but you have to know the whole range of people our Edward hangs out with, yeah? And this chapter really only set up new bits for the story to take off to, and I know it probably wasn't as good, and I also know I'm starting to babble a bit . . .**

**But, eh, I just worry :)**

**Any more EPOV will have a lot more references to Bella, as their relationship slowly blossoms. He's obvs not going to be thinking about her twenty-four seven when they are only just becoming friends.**

**Tootaloots! Love you all so much xxxx**


	9. Girl Night real one

**SORRY!!! I am SUCH A TOOOOLLL!!!! Like, you have no idea. Please don't kill me. My computer is saving my files all whacked and I have absolutely no idea why that happened. Yes, dearests, that was the wrong chapter. Here is the right one...... AND I'M SORRYYY!!!!**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

9. Girl Night

My mother's voice gushed overenthusiastically into my ear with a hint of despair triggering my sensitive side. I closed my eyes as I listened to her pleading.

"Mum," I interrupted as calmly as was possible when she stopped to take a breath. I couldn't hear anything for a second as she paused, not even on my end; Alice must have retreated to the confinement of her bedroom. I appreciated this.

"What, Bella?" she said, sounding surprised.

I sighed out loudly into the phone. "Look—do you think you could just give me two seconds to think this through?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wish I could take them back. I had delivered them as evenly as possible, but my mother wasn't used to me saying things like that to her.

"I know you're upset," I continued quickly, hoping not to linger on that particular note. "And I'm so sorry Phil got hurt. But Mum, I _really_ can't just come over and live with you. Think about it. This is my last year of high school. I've _finally_ settled into everything and—"

"But Bella," Renee persuaded. "I really need you right now, baby. You know I've been missing you like crazy. Home isn't right without you near me."

I swallowed. "I know, Mum." This was hard. As difficult as Renee was, there was no denying I missed her like crazy, too. "But I really like it here." My voice was weenie. Pathetically quiet. I needed more volume.

Mum sighed in frustration. I could detect the sounds of her banging a few things around, and I imagined her walking around the home with the phone trapped between her ear and shoulder. I curled the phone cord around my finger as I waited for her to talk. "You loved it here with me," she finally said. "You were always so happy. I still don't understand why you moved in the first place completely. It's hard for me to let you go."

She was pulling all the old tricks. I straightened up and rubbed my face wearily. "I know, Mum," I said patiently. "But it's my life and I really needed to get away. And I've got to tell you—I'm not trying to be rude, but you've got to know; I'm not moving back there. I don't want to."

There was silence on the end of the phone. I worried that I'd overdone it.

"Fine."

I froze. What?

"Fine," Renee repeated in a tired tone. "Stay there. You're right, I can't make you move."

I gaped, forgetting to answer back. She'd just caved in. My mother _never_ caved in.

"Are you there, Bella?" Renee checked.

"Yeah," I squeaked. I cleared my voice. "Well . . . ah, thanks heaps."

My mother made a funny noise. "You're nearly an adult, Bella," she reminded me. "So I can't make you move. But please, just consider it. Mull it over. I really think it would be good for you."

I was still too surprised to think properly.

"Yeah . . . sure," I breathed.

Renee sniffed. She started sounding all teary. "I sure miss you, honey."

I pressed my palm into my forehead. "I miss you too." Then I remembered. "Oh! But Mum, don't worry. I'm thinking Alice and I are needing to take a weekend trip to Florida, anyway. Mind if we stay at your place?"

I was such a good daughter. She'd completely flip.

"Oh, would you?!" Renee squealed. "Oh my gosh, that would be so good, I can't wait. When will you girls get here? You should see Phil—he's in a cast now, and I have to push him around everywhere . . ."

I let the gushing voice of my mother fade into the background as I made little noises of agreement and excitement when was necessary. I knew the oncoming trip wouldn't be completely stress free, and would probably include a douse of Renee fluttering around and trying to bribe me to stay . . . again. But at least we were getting somewhere. She _seemed_ to finally understand that she couldn't _make_ me move.

It was twenty minutes later that I hung up after a cheery, "I'll see you soon!" from my mum. I couldn't help the smile that made it onto my face. I wasn't moving. I was staying. Go Bella.

I pranced my way towards Alice's room and tapped lightly on the door. There was such a lift in my spirits now, it nearly matched how it had been when I first walked into the apartment.

Alice was there in a blur, shoving the door out of her way. "Bella!" she exclaimed, pushing me inside. Her bedroom was at its usual standards, with clothes strewn across her big bed and her devoted wardrobe flung open, revealing splashes of colour, slips of silk, and sparkly accessories. Apart from that, it was neat. Very neat. All her stationary on her desk colour-coded, and her piles of magazines stacked in order of date. All her posters of cute boys and favourite bands pined up in perfect location to still show off the bright pink paint of her walls.

She grinned at me and pulled me along. I sat down on the edge of her bed, with its big, puffy white cover. She curled up next to me and held my hand.

"So." And her eyes were all wide and wondering. "Everything work out with Renee?"

I nodded, smiling a little. "Yeah," I sighed happily. "Thank god. We leave the soonest weekend available on both of our calendars, though," I warned her. "I promised."

Alice just grinned and clapped her hands together like she did when she was pleased. "No problem," she agreed easily. Then her tone and body weight shifted slightly. "And now can you _please_, for the sake of our undying friendship, hurry up and tell me about what happened after school with you and Edward?"

I looked at her sceptically, and she was all desperate, leaning in closer to me like she was dying for the answer.

I picked at my jeans with the hand that wasn't clasped in hers. Better not to complain, because I'd be telling her anyway. "Well," I said, watching her facial expressions from the corner of my eye, "We sorted it out. And I forgave him. And he forgave me for being so . . ."

"Strongly feminine," Alice said nodding. "I wish I had seen that douse of rebellious girl power swell inside of you. And the look on his face too."

I looked at her and she bit her lip sheepishly.

"So it was good," I went on. "And we ended up talking again, and he offered to take me home because I knew you'd be waiting for me." I shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant.

Alice waited a second to make sure I was finished. "So you're friends now?" she questioned.

I shrugged again, not looking at her. "Sorta. I guess. Maybe."

She laughed, shaking her head. "This has been quite a day for you, I'm sure. Not only do you speak up for once and find your voice, you also gain an apology and put your mother in her place." She didn't leave it at there. "So I guess it's a bit understandable if that's used up your brain power for the day, resorting in you being unable to answer a yes or no question."

I glared at her. "I don't know!" I said exasperatedly. "I just believe it's easier if we don't try to label anything when he's concerned. Just take it as it comes."

Alice nodded slowly. "I guess you're right," she conceded. Then a smug look came onto her face. "Oh, but who cares! Rose is coming tonight—you'll get to meet her properly! And we're going to have heaps of fun. So, come one." She bounced of her bed and tilted her head to the enormous pile of DVD's she'd stolen from the living room to take residence by her bed. "Are you going to help me pick out soppy movies or what?"

I rolled my eyes and rose, walking over towards her.

We ended up deciding on five different ones, and the range seemed to make Alice pleased. She walked out of her bedroom with them piled in her arms and I followed, watching as she placed them in the exact centre of the coffee table.

Then she turned on me.

"You. Go. Turn around."

But I didn't. I was too busy raising my eyebrows at her in incredulity.

She sighed, pointing over my shoulder to the door of my bedroom. I half turned, and then looked back at her for an explanation.

"I ran water in your tub while you were on the phone. Perfect temperature. Hop to it, sunshine. You need to have a bit of refreshment."

Understanding flickered across my face and I smiled at Alice.

"I love you," I stated honestly, already walking to my bathroom.

"Well make sure you drag your lesbian butt back out here in one hour, because our company will be arriving."

I waved my hand behind me to acknowledge that I'd heard her, and gladly waltzed to my bathroom and sighed when I saw the steam covering the place, emitted from the lovely warm, soapy water of my bath.

Alice was true Angel when she wanted to be.

I was all clean and relaxed and calm when I padded my way out into the living area, wearing a clean set of sweats and a plain jumper. My hair was half dry, thanks to the quick buzz of the hairdryer, but I preferred leaving it to air-dry more than anything else. Alice was missing from the scene, so I stuck my head into the kitchen, through the large arch.

"When's Rose coming?" I asked, finding her sitting on top of the counter, legs swinging, eyes focused on the phone clutched in her small palm.

"She will be here in . . . exactly four minutes. I _think_."

She didn't even look up.

My intrigue got the better of me. "Who are you texting?" I wondered, moving onto the cold tiles.

Alice's eyes grew infinitesimally and she snatched the phone up closer to her chest. "No one."

I stared at her for a good five seconds. Our eyes held.

She caved in with a big sigh.

Without a word, she held the phone out to me.

Confused, I slowly walked forward until I could make out what was on her screen.

My lips twisted into a smile.

"Shut up!" she sung, flicking the top of my head with her fingers. She could reach, thanks to the height the counter added. Then she turned the phone back to her. "It's a good photo though, isn't it?"

I frowned a little in surprise. Now that she mentioned it . . . "Yeah . . . really good. How did you get it?"

If I didn't know Alice any better, I would've pre-empted a blush. But she was way too forward and open and confident for that.

"Rose," she stated simply. "I told you she was kinda seeing Emmett at the moment . . . and seeing as Jasper is _always_ at the Cullens house . . ."

I nodded. Fair enough. The picture was one of Jasper, of course. Saved in her file.

"She'll be here in a minute," Alice reminded me. "And I've got basically everything set up. I would've changed and dressed up, but we'll probably get our pyjamas on soon, anyway, so what's the point?"

I agreed with her logic, and was also a bit selfishly glad she wasn't changing. Alice already looked good, with her dark jeans and cute blouse, and anything else would've made me feel underdressed.

We heard the buzzer, and Alice smiled in victory.

"I'm getting it!" she yelled, hopping off the counter and rushing out. I snaked my way into the living room to watch her buzz Rose in.

"How old is she?" I asked, curious.

"She's got a year on us," Alice told me. "But she was in our year level, until, like, two days ago, as you know. She's not stupid or anything, she just hates school. But she dropped out now, which I think is better for her. And you know where she works."

I nodded seriously. I knew, from what Alice had told me and from what little I'd really seen of her, that she modelled throughout her time. I mean, it was hardly surprising. The girl was drop-dead gorgeous.

Maybe that was why the pair got along so well. Where Rosalie modelled, Alice had a part-time apprentice at the hair salon, practising to be a hairdresser. Not just any hairdresser—she was funky and totally in her element when she was working. It made me sometimes feel a little bitter about where _I_ worked, which wasn't glamorous one bit.

A knock sounded on our door, and Alice was already there, opening it and ushering her friend inside. I stayed where I was, starting to feel a little shyness coming on when I saw her.

Rosalie stood in our entryway, her blonde hair down and flowing around her shoulders with a slight wave, a long red coat clinging to her body and black boots zipped up her legs. She was carrying a small bag, and was smiling down at Alice.

She looked perfect. It was a different kind of prettiness to what Tanya and all those other girls at the high school possessed. More natural, less fake.

I could guess why she hated school. If I was right in my guesses, I presumed the other jealous girls going to that place would always be so tryingly petty and snide to make themselves feel better, and she would probably get sick of the attention she got from the male jerks that went to high school. Not that was really a _problem_, so to speak. Of what I knew of her, she wouldn't let _anyone_ giver her _any_ problems whatsoever. She could turn completely psycho with her evilness in under two seconds flat.

Alice had already greeted her and Rosalie was unbuttoning her long coat. I tried not to feel frumpy all of a sudden when I saw her thin, silky pearl top on underneath.

"You know Bella, though, right?" Alice chirped at her friend, gesturing to me with one hand.

And Rose looked up and smiled. A little. Definitely not much. "Yes," she said.

That was it.

I fidgeted uncomfortably. "Hi," I mumbled. Alice's smile was starting to irritate me. Rosalie turned around and hung her coat up on the peg by the door. She knew her way around our place perfectly.

"Now," Alice told Rose, oblivious to the awkwardness that had just taken place. "I'm glad you're finally here because we need to order dinner. I'm starving. So what will it be, girls. Pizza or Chinese?"

"Pizza," I said at the same time Rosalie decided, "Chinese."

Both our heads snapped up to each others at the same time. Alice was looking at us, a peculiar expression forming on her face.

Rosalie sighed, tiresome, and then changed her answer to, "Pizza," once again at the same time I said, "Chinese."

Rose frowned at me. And I stared back. And Alice was twisting her head side to side to look at the both of us.

And then Rosalie's full lips stretched wide and she smiled at me. A real smile. A big smile. One full of acceptance and friendliness.

I sighed mentally with relief, and smiled back.

Alice was still looking lost.

"Eh, we can get both," she decided, and picked up the phone.

Rose laughed. And suddenly all awkwardness and uncomfortable feelings where washes out the window.

Alice chatted happily to the both of us as she made sure we got settled into the couch comfortably, always talking about subjects that Rose and I could both contribute to. It was fun and easy, and the conversation just flowed.

"Be back in a minute!" Alice announced as she edged her way to her door. "I just need to get something."

Rose and I watched her wordlessly as she slipped into her bedroom. Then, at the same time, we turned back to look at each other.

"Alice says a lot about you," I told her truthfully.

She raised her eyebrows, looking a little taken aback. Then the expression melted and she smiled at me. She looked magnificent when she did that. "Yeah, she speaks a lot about you, too, to me. I think it's weird we never have really spoken before, seeing as I always catch glimpses of you around the place . . ."

I grimaced. "Yeah, I guess it is strange." I brightened my face. "But we're here now. So . . ." Not trying to be rude, I made my voice sound casual. "I heard you dropped school? Is that working for you?" I was truly curious. Having never even considered quitting school, I wanted to hear her thoughts on it.

She didn't look upset. She leant back into the red cushion behind her back and ran her long, pink nails through her hair. "Yeah, I'm really glad _that_ is over now," she told me. "It so wasn't my thing—just a complete waste of time. I can focus more time into my work now, and that's certainly a bonus."

I nodded, mulling it over. "And how is work?"

She flashed a grin. She knew I already new she modelled. Everyone seemed to know. "Great. I'm doing an add next week, which will be good." She paused. "I think the thing that sucks, is they keep trying to make me eat all healthy crap and stuff. I mean, I guess I already can be a bit of a health nut, when I feel like it, but I basically eat what I want." She shrugged. "It never makes a difference to me. And hell if some snooty-nosed bitch with glasses sliding down her nose is going to prevent me eating chocolate."

That was the longest thing I'd ever heard her say.

She didn't seem bothered in the least by her rant. She flipped her golden hair over her shoulder and rubbed her knee absentmindedly with her palm.

"Mmm," was all I managed to say. Was all I could think of to say. Because right then, we were interrupted by a banging sound as Alice graced us with her presence once more . . .

. . . Dragging a huge mattress through her bedroom door.

I think we both froze for a second, just watching her as she heaved and tugged on the thing. It was pretty thick, not just a cheap rollout one, and it seemed in danger of flopping over.

I sprang up, not overly keen at the possible outcomes that mattress falling could commit.

"Alice, hey," I said, rushing over to help. "Slow down on that thing. I don't want you getting any shorter than you are right now—if that thing falls on your head, it will squash you flat."

Rose laughed, and it sounded lazy and relaxed. I rolled my eyes at her as I took place by Alice's side and started heaving on the thing myself. She just sat and watched us with an amused expression.

"You guys need to work on your muscles," she noted, sitting on her ass.

Finally, between Alice and me, we were able to lift the mattress and pull it along until we were nearing the living room floor.

"Move the coffee table, Rose," Alice demanded, breathless. Rose just smirked, and looked dangerously like she was considering ignoring her friend's plea.

"Rose," Alice growled in a low tone.

She rolled her eyes and heaved herself off the couch, moving so she could pull the table against the wall. With a relieved sigh from both Alice and me, we let the mattress drop on the floor with a nice, hearty thump.

"Whoa," Alice blew out, shaking her head. Then she pointedly glared at Rose, who was resuming her previous position. "Play with me like that again, and I will cut all of your lovely locks off," she threatened her.

Rosalie just smirked even wider.

I sighed. "What exactly is this for?" I wondered, gesturing to the mattress.

"For lying on. Or sitting on. Or whatever. We're going to be camping out here for hours, so I figured we might want a little more sitting room than just an old, broken sofa. I'm getting pillows. Do me a favour, Bella, and grab a blanket?"

I made a face at Rose, who giggled, still lounging around like she ruled the place, and rushed off, returning with three blankets. I figured that way Alice couldn't complain.

When we were _finally_ settled, and comfortable, and started up talking again—Alice had pulled out lollies and cookies I didn't even know we had, plus a whole range of nail polishes and other things—the buzzer went.

"Food!" Alice exclaimed. "Finally."

She sorted that one out, and then we were all sitting around again, munching away on our Chinese and pizza.

"Guess what, Bella?"

"What, Alice?" Her eyebrow wriggling was making me nervous.

"Rosalie was with Emmett again today." She leant over the pizza slice in her hand, grinning at me.

I smiled, turning to Rose. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Poor thing. I made him drop me off here."

Alice pouted. "You should've said you were _still_ with him! We could've done this tomorrow night instead, and then you could've told us all about it." She was way too disappointed for someone on the outside.

I laughed. "Hey, she can still tell us something, right? I was told from a very reliable source you went to the Cullens' party with him, too?" I was talking to Rosalie.

She shrugged. "Yeah," she said simply.

"And you haven't told me about that, either!" Alice seemed to be getting more peeved by the minute.

Rose sighed. "Well, I met him at work, actually." I think Alice actually choked on her food. "He was just there—the Cullens know heaps of people, right?—and he was all tall and watching me with a smirk—as I was getting photographed— that was sooooo annoying. So of course I went up to him and asked why the hell he had to stare during my break."

I frowned in confusion. And I thought I had been outspoken.

"And he just smirked even wider and said some dirty comment, and before I knew it, I was giving him my number." She shrugged again, like it was no big deal. "So when he mentioned the party, I thought, why not?"

I nodded at her. "I didn't see you there," I mentioned.

She looked surprised. "You were there?"

I bit back a frown and a blush. "Yeah," I sighed. "Alice's fault."

Alice was just smiling. "And today?"

"Today we just were catching up again at his place. Nothing serious. All though, I have to say—hell is he _hot_. And annoying. And totally full of it."

"And perfect for you," Alice added casually, picking at her pizza and staring at her lap.

Rose's grin began creeping up on her face. "Yeah, he kind of is, isn't he? Not only has he got the biggest muscles even known to man . . . He says the most idiotic, inappropriate, and absolutely adorable comments which allow me to glare at him and say something snark back!"

Alice giggled. "Well, is he a good kisser?"

I opened my mouth, about to object that assuming they'd kissed like that after two days was stupid, when Rose nodded. And sighed.

"God yeah."

Well, wasn't I the stupid one. I bit on my lip and stuffed my mouth with a chocolate chip cookie.

"Hmmm," Alice mused. "Well, you know what? Bella went to the Cullens' party with Edward."

I frowned and gaped at her, blushingly like mad. "I did not!"

Rosalie looked at the both of us with confusion.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Well, fine then." She turned to Rose. "She didn't _go_ with him—she just spent every damn second of the party with him, out the back where it was just the two of them, and they talked for over _four_ _hours_."

Rose whistled. "Ha. Go Bella! God you're lucky . . . Edward is just . . . yum. What _I'd_ do with him if I had over four hours . . ."

"Rose," Alice chastised while I felt my face grow even hotter, "You're basically dating his brother."

Rosalie shrugged, looking unperturbed. "So? And I wouldn't use the term dating . . . too official. Eww."

Alice chuckled. "Yeah, I guess. Edward is pretty . . . yum." She nodded wisely.

I gave the pair of them a whimsical expression. "Look," I said, somewhat bothered by their musings and trying not to show it, "You could show a little respect. He's not some brainless shit-head who's gonna score up women any chance he gets. He's a bit deeper than that."

I was met with silence.

Crap. I never swore like that. Hardly ever. And now the both of them where staring at me like I'd grown two heads.

I swallowed nervously, wishing I had the ability to just shut up sometimes.

"I didn't know it was like _that_," Rose finally said, a hint of amusement in her tone. "Please excuse our rudeness. We didn't mean to offend you."

I gave both of them the evil eye. Her voice was full of implications that I didn't like. This was all Alice's fault.

"It _isn't_ like that."

"Of course it isn't," Alice said lightly, surprising me. "They're just friends," she said wisely, eyes wide, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "But, you can't even call them that."

I huffed, cheeks flaming. Rosalie was grinning at me.

Mercifully, they left it at that. Rose brought up the subject of Jasper, and Alice was gone. I buried my face deeper into my neck, trying to get the blush to fade.

What a fun girls' night.

Soon, at around seven, a movie was put on and talking was toned down to the bare minimum—just little comments and agreements of the actors playing the roles—and I could finally relax. We sat, lounged, and ate, staying up till it was nearing one and the third movie picked out had finished.

"I'm off to bed," Alice yawned. "And Bella has to, as well. She goes zombie if she's left without a proper night's sleep."

"Mind if I crash here?" Rose asked.

Alice shook her head. "I didn't haul this mattress out here for nothing."

So we shuffled ourselves around, each doing our own thing to make us somewhat ready for sleep, completely ignoring the large pile of trash, consisting of empty boxes from our meal.

And finally I was able to snuggle down under the blankets in my own bed, and drift off into a sleep filled with vivid dreams.

**Sorry once more. I will update with a whole twenty pages of EPOV I've written very soon as more of a real apology. Sound okay???**


	10. The Beginning of a New Development

**Okay. One thing:**

**Renee is annoying. Defs. I can understand TOTALLY if you don't like her. But the thing is, she's not a bad person. She does selfish things, but she's not a bad person. Every individual has so many sides to them, it's hard to classify someone as "good" or "evil" unless it's in extremes. And that's just how it is with Renee. There are sides to her that imperfect her, just making her character human. The real important thing is that she loves Bella, and always has good intentions.**

*** HOPEFULLY this is the right chapter this time, hey? It was soooo embarrassing for me, actually, to log into my emails and realise I have people left and right asking about that one…**

**Stupid Lina…**

* * *

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

10. A New Development

EPOV

And I had been . . . thirteen minutes late. It took me twenty four to drive from James' place to my parent's, which was in the opposite direction. The first ten minutes after I arrived was with introductions, muffins, and a seating arrangement. The next half an hour was going over plans that I already knew, and that didn't concern me in the slightest. Throwing a party didn't concern me in the slightest, full stop, but since Esme was so anxious about the whole thing, and my father seemed to be not coping too well with it, I had agreed to look things over. Distantly. Or so I thought.

So it was after the first forty minutes it finally looked like we were making some progress. But then, of course, my mother had to throw in a decoration change, or add in some more guests, which stuffed up the seating arrangements, and the time kept ticking by.

I'd sat in the high, comfortable wooden seat, across from my parents at the dining table. Carlisle looked a little lost, and a little distracted, but he rubbed Esme's hand underneath the table where he thought I couldn't see. Supporting her in the best way that he could. Papers were strewn across the shiny surface, plans and location brochure's tucked up into various folders.

"Thank you so much, Edward, for coming here," Esme had thanked me, one of multiple times. "I know it must be boring for you. But I just can't get it right . . ."

I'd tried my best to help. Truth be told, I didn't have a clue in any of it. The only useful bit of information I contributed was highlighting the fact we'd need a seriously large birthday cake. Especially seeing as the birthday boy was Emmett. Twenty years old. Jesus.

I'd fidgeted in my seat when I got asked my opinion on flowers. _Flowers_. Carlisle raised his eyebrows at me in a way to say, _Well, son, you agreed to this_. And I'd twisted my way around answering that one. Esme was lovely, and I knew she meant no harm in her queries, but the last thing I wanted was to suggest something horrible. Which I probably would.

Why would Emmett want flowers at his birthday, anyway?

So it was one hundred and forty eight minutes later when I left my old home. Esme and Carlisle still had Emmett and mine's old bedrooms, just in case we wanted to stay. As far as I knew, nothing had changed there. Everything was as it had been a year and somewhat ago.

I was thankful when I made it home. After another thirty one minutes.

I was not in the least surprised to find Emmett sprawled across the couch in the living room, beer in hand and flipping through channels mechanically like he was programmed to do it.

I snorted my greetings. "So you stayed in all day?"

He didn't look up at me. "Yep," he said. "Beauty of being an adult, kid."

I leant towards him and grabbed the control out of his hands, flipping it back to the channel he'd just passed. He grumbled under his breath, but sat up, heaving his body around, so I could sit on the sofa next to him.

"You have no idea how fucked up my day was," I mumbled.

"You have no idea how great my day was," Emmett gloated.

I rolled my eyes. "What happened."

He chuckled, a hearty sound that was rather deep. "Rose came over today. God I love that girl. Do you know what she said to me today? 'Why don't you stop playing with your stupid balls and just hurry up and kiss me?'" His laughter got louder.

"She sounds just right for you," I said dryly.

"Too right." Emmett straightened up, taking a good look at me. I ignored him, staring at the screen. "What happened to you?" he asked. "Was Esme really that bad?"

I grimaced. Although he didn't know what exactly I was there for, he knew just as well as I did how she could sometimes get.

"She was fine, I guess," I sighed finally. "I'm starving now, though. Skipped dinner in hopes of making it home earlier."

Emmett nodded. "Chicken's in the oven. Still warm."

I nodded. "Yeah, maybe in a minute. I'm just so tired."

We both sat, staring at the screen for a moment.

"So," Emmett said, slightly lighter than what I was used to. "You never did tell me where you went at the party the other night."

I internally groaned. How many people wanted it brought up?

"I was around," I answered evasively. "I wasn't expecting to come home to the news of a party, remember? Maybe I didn't quite feel up to it."

Emmett snorted. "Yeah, right. Edward Cullen _has_ to be up for a party. I think your fan club would die a little inside if they heard you say that."

I muttered a low curse under my breath, which just made him laugh.

"You know, I didn't so mind your disappearance during the night—although the questions I got asked about your absence were irritating—but I really could've appreciated your presence in the morning. That was one hell of a clean up."

I smirked, having forgotten all about it in my rush out of the place. I was sure the damage must have been pretty extensive.

"Well, I'm going to go get some—chicken, you said?—and then I'm off to bed."

Emmett was already back to flipping channels. "Sure thing."

I shook my head, rolling my eyes, and departed out of the room silently.

I saw her at school the next day. It was kind of surprising that one moment it was like I'd never seen her, and now all this evidence of her never-ending presence was cropping up all over the place. She was there when I passed through the locker hall. She was there in the cafeteria at lunch. And, of course, she was there in my Biology class.

I had kind of made it my duty to make sure I acknowledged her the next time we were in school. It was rather surprising that when I saw her, I hardly thought about it as I smiled. She'd smiled back, raising her eyebrows, and then she was gone. And I totally hadn't given it a second thought.

Lunch was hellish. I suppose it could have been classified as entertaining, but what with Tanya's standoffish behaviour towards me at the moment and Irina's constant remarks on the cafeteria's trashy food, it was tiresome. James still wasn't there, which bothered me somewhat, and relieved me at the same time. When the subject of him and this rumoured Victoria—apparently I was the only one to have met in the flesh and blood; lucky me—cropped up, I stopped listening. I had no interest in that conversation.

"You alright, Edward?" Kate asked me, frowning slightly as she stared at me. I mentally shook myself, composing my face which had zoned out.

"Fine," I lied easily. Then I smiled at her, surprised at her perceptiveness.

There were the usual bunch at our table—too much, really, considering how much space there was—plus one or two extras I hadn't seen before. And probably wouldn't see again. There were always people being invited to sit here who never got invited back.

"God, do you guys know of Angela Weber?" Simon asked. Irina was sitting in his lap, feeding him food off her tray.

"The quiet girl?" Kate wondered.

I just stayed silent, not being perfectly sure of whom they were referring to.

Simon snorted. "Quiet, yeah. And also completely nerdy. She's in my calculus class, and is just a freak. She sits in the front row with her glasses perched on her nose and her face buried in the text book. When the teacher talks, you can hear her—physically _hear_ her—scribbling down the notes on her page, so fast like she's afraid she'll miss a word he says." He snickered, wrinkling his nose. "It just bugs me."

"I borrowed a pen off her once," Irina smiled looking into his eyes. "Or, at least, asked to. She just stared at me weirdly." She giggled, lightly pressing her fingertip to his nose.

"Well, is she hot?" Laurent, James' best friend—an okay guy—asked, like that was all that mattered.

Irina grimaced at the same time Simon snorted rather loudly. "Huh. No. She's all skinny and shit. Like . . . willowy. Stretched out."

"Uh."

The whole group kind of lost interest after that.

I was picking at my food without any real interest when I saw, from the corner of my eye, Tanya rise and walk off. Without Kate. Even stranger: without Irina.

I shook my head, feeling a little guilty. She hadn't spoken a word to me since Friday night.

"Oh," Jasper said, who was, naturally, next to me. He noticed it at the same time I did. "Man, are you going to tell us what's up with you and Tanya? Everyone's noticed it." It was one of the first things he'd said. Jasper was fairly quiet most of the time.

I noticed everyone was looking at me. A small kid who I'd never seen before was staring at me like I was completely fascinating. I frowned.

"Ah . . . I don't know," was my genius reply. "She and I just had a little disagreement, that's all." I shrugged, letting them know it was no big deal.

"Looks like more than just that," Laurent said, as Irina scowled. I was guessing Tanya hadn't even told her what had happened, and she was probably frustrated at not knowing the answer.

I shrugged again, not giving them anything to work with. Although Tanya was annoying me, she didn't deserve to be squandered behind her back.

"Did you guys try something together at the party?" Laurent pressed. "Like, get together again? Maybe this is luuuuuurve and we're just reading all the sexual tension wrong."

Most people laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"You wish," I muttered. "I'm serious, though. Nothing happened at all." Why couldn't people just drop it?

"It can't be that hard to make her put out," Simon chuckled. "She's completely open to experimenting, even with old material. Jesus, man, maybe you've lost your charm."

"Or maybe Tanya can't go down properly and Ed's sick of it. Is that the reason you guys broke up?" someone said.

That pissed me off. Why the hell hadn't I realised before these people were a bunch of disrespecting morons?

"Piss off," I muttered, shoving my chair out from the table angrily. Once again, why the hell would they talk about something that was private between Tanya and me? "If you've got a problem, why don't you talk about it to Tanya," I suggested, before turning around and storming out of the cafeteria. One girl tried to stop me as I walked, smiling at me, but I pushed past her without glancing at her and continued on.

Fuck I hated school.

--------------

* * *

And there was Bella as I sat in the back of the biology classroom. My stormy behaviour had died down after mulling around with it in my car during lunch, listening to music at the top volume. Now I was relaxed and fidgeting in my seat as I listened to the teacher drone on and on.

As soon as we were dismissed from the treacherous lecture, I reluctantly turned in my seat to face my partner.

Lauren smiled at me. I smiled back.

"So," she said. "What are we going to start off with?"

Like she even had a clue on what we were doing. I looked around the room as I passed it off as thinking about her question, noting the pupils' behaviour. Bella was there with Mike, but I could only see the back of her brown hair if I _really_ craned my neck . . .

Lauren snapped the gum in her mouth, also snapping my attention back to her. "I think this is a really lame project," she shared, cupping the back of her neck with her palm. "Why don't you just tell me what you got up to on the weekend?"

I stared at her. "Uh, stuff, I guess."

She was silent for a moment, and then her face broke into a small smile and she let a giggle escape. "You're funny," she decided. I grimaced.

"What did you do?"

There was that smile again. She seemed delighted about something. "Hung out with Jessica. And my mother went into hospital, so that was kind of bad . . ." Her face crumpled slightly and she frowned, looking up at me through her lashes.

"I'm sorry," I told her, rubbing the back of my neck. "Is she alright?"

She lifted on corner of her mouth up. He eyes were wide and she was still angling her head down low. "Mmmm hmmm," she said, nodding slowly.

"That's . . . good." I didn't know what else to add.

I blinked and then turned my attention back to the classroom. As far as I could tell, no one was really doing their work at all. Some students had ventured out of their seat and were sitting on their friends' tables.

I looked back to find Lauren twirling a pencil in her hand, making it dance on the desk. I watched silently from where I sat, mesmerised in its movement.

Then the pencil led snapped. She stopped, staring down at the pencil like she didn't know what had happened.

I kept my eye roll to myself and leant forward from the desk, tapping the girl in front of me with my hand. She turned, and then looked at me, completely shocked. I leant in even closer, smiling warmly.

"Hi," I said. "Sorry to interrupt, but my friend's pencil just broke . . . Would you by any chance have one she could use?"

Her partner at the desk, a tall, thin bloke, had also turned around to stare at me. I ignored him easily.

She seemed frozen for a second, and then she turned around hastily, fumbling with the zipper of her pencil case. "Sure," she managed to say.

She retrieved it and turned to hand it to me with an unsure smile. "Thank you," I said sincerely. I watched in amusement as the girl quickly turned back to the front and sat in her seat, stiff.

I handed it to Lauren without a word. She was looking at me funny. "What?" I asked, confused.

She shook her head. "Nothing," she whispered, and then focused intently on the sheet in front of her, smiling. Pretty perky for someone with a mother who had just gotten out of hospital.

I sat back, waiting for the class to end.

--------------

* * *

Days passed. Tuesday went by much in the same fashion, only my idiot friends didn't bring up any more topics like yesterday, resorting to plan yet another party instead. Tanya pushed past me as I walked down the corridor. The lunch lady gave me a free drink. Coach made me do an extra three laps for being late to class.

Wednesday saw the return of James.

He waltzed in with his usual swagger, smirking at everything that passed his eyes. I was still feeling weird around him, but I greeted him like any other day. He and Laurent skipped class to smoke out back. Irina was fluctuating between Simon and James, unable to make up her mind who she wanted. Kate broke down during lunch about something, and was whisked away by Jasper who took one long look at Tanya and Irina, heads bent together and giggling at something, and figured they wouldn't do anything.

Emmett was cocky that day. I finally was introduced to Rosalie properly after school, and then his bedroom door was slammed into my already retreating figure. Like I wanted to stay anywhere near those two when they were together.

Thursday I got a quick call from Esme. She didn't once bring up the subject of the party, for which I was surprised. I had an inkling that Carlisle was in the room, however—a feeling that strengthened each time I heard a low cough on the other line—so perhaps he was behaving her.

Thursday was also the day when—before school, out the front where our cars were collectively parked—James heard of the plan for another party. He jumped in on that one, announcing it should be at his 'rent's place after school tonight. It had always planned to be small, and the short notice would prevent heaps of people from showing up.

It was agreed on, and he casually mentioned the huge hoard of alcohol he had already stocked up on.

"You going, Edward, buddy?" he asked.

"Yeah, maybe," I said.

It was after school as I made my way towards my car—having shrugged off any offers of lifts—that I saw Bella for the first time in two days, walking across the lot with her friend, Alice.

I didn't even think. "Hey, Bella!" I called, lifting on hand in the air when she swivelled around, confused, looking for the owner of the voice. Recognition flared in her eyes when she saw me, and I watched as her friend turned to me, too, looking surprised.

I stood there, wondering what she'd do. Wondering what I'd do.

Alice moved; first her mouth, uttering words I couldn't hear, and then her body, taking a step towards me. Bella followed, always a slight step behind, staring up at me, her head titled to the side. She looked slightly unsure, and when she reached me, she smiled a little, still seemingly quizzical.

"Hi," I said, automatically smiling when I saw her. "I haven't seen you lately."

She just nodded slowly. "Yeah . . ." Alice was next to her, all small and grinning at me—making me feel like I was missing something. I didn't really know her all too well. Then when a moment of silence passed, and I was thinking if Bella was ever going to say anything else, Alice very deliberately stomped on Bella's foot, with what looked like a surprisingly amount of force.

Bella closed her eyes, grimacing. "And this, Edward, is Alice!" she said, without opening them, muttering it through her teeth with overdone emphasis.

I looked between them, wondering if she was okay.

Alice grin grew even bigger, if it was possible. I took that as confirmation that Bella _was_ alright.

"Hey," I said to her, nodding once, and unthinkingly stooping a little lower. She perked up and held out a hand.

"It's _very_ nice to meet you," she said lightly, and I reached out and took her hand. She enthusiastically shook it. When I let go, it retreated, and she pushed on Bella's shoulder. "You can look, now, honey," she said abruptly.

Bella slowly opened her eyes, her cheeks tinging a faint pink. They met mine and I slowly smiled at her, at her embarrassment and her reaction. She was so cute.

"Well, isn't this lovely," Alice said brightly, seeming to be the only one who was completely comfortable. "A nice little pick-me-up to the day. Tell me," and she leaned in further, "Do you like tea?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

"You know, the drinky stuff you drink?" She rolled her eyes dramatically. "I'm talking herbal stuff here! I suppose it can be considered a calming drink, but that's not why I personally like it. I think . . ."

"Alice," Bella said in a warning tone. "Just drop it."

Her friend stopped and sighed. She took the advice, though, and clasped her two lips together carefully.

"Huh. Um, well . . ." I scratched the back of my head. "Do you guys have any plans for tonight?" I shifted the bag strung across my shoulder. Her friend was making me nervous, what with all her inane chatter.

"Nope," Alice said immediately, popping the 'p', at the same time Bella said, "Sort of."

I raised my eyebrows.

Alice turned on Bella. "We have plans?" she asked incredulously.

Bella looked uncomfortable. "Well, actually, I kind of have a heap of homework that needs to be done . . ." She kept shifting her gaze from the ground to Alice to me.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Sheesh," she muttered under her breath.

But I looked at Bella when I answered. "That's pretty smart, actually. I have tonne to do too, only I doubt I'll end up finishing it." I laughed once. The prospect was very slim.

She smiled at me, nodding, seeming grateful.

I looked around, noticing the student lot was abruptly emptying. I caught eyes over my shoulder with Tanya, who was surprisingly standing there, but I turned my back on her very quickly.

"I'm not holding you guys up from getting home, am I?"

I didn't understand the look that passed through them. "No," Bella said. We're fine."

Great. Okay.

"How was school?" I asked finally unable to think of anything constructive to say.

Bella wrinkled her nose. "Horrible. We had Gym."

Alice gave her friend a sceptical look. "You did fine!" she assured her. "Come on, you know deep down you love it . . ."

Bella shook her head adamantly, directing her speech just my way. I was glad she was finally talking. "Honestly, I didn't. It really was awful. And there was Alice, skipping around like a pixie and trying to coax me into voluntarily leapfrogging the players to get the ball." She shuddered. "Horrible. Like the players don't already hate me enough."

I frowned a little at that comment. Alice's smile was smug, though. "Come on! They totally love your sportsmanship."

Bella payed no attention to her comment and asked me in return how my day was. It didn't escape my notice that she seemed a little embarrassed again, about her little speech.

Stupid, really.

I shrugged. "Alright, I guess," was my simple reply.

--------------

* * *

BPOV

I was going to kill Alice. God I was going to kill Alice. Oh, wait. _God_. That's a good one.

I'd let God kill Alice. It would save me the trouble.

I suppose she wasn't being _too_ bad, all things considered. I was probably blowing her behaviour widely out of proportion. Apart from the few comments she had made that had made me internally cringe, and Edward in turn look a little lost—Alice's attitude was one you had to get used to—everything was alright. I think. I hoped.

He stood in front of us, smiling a little and probably completely oblivious to how good he looked right now in this moment. I was feeling a tad uncomfortable, but that was normal. I could see he was trying to show me that the small incident that happened on Monday wasn't going to be repeated.

I stood there, just looking at the ground, not quite sure what I should act like. Alice had said something else, and started another conversation by the sound of things with Edward—I hoped, at least. Because if I was supposed to be listening, I wasn't.

No. Right now I was trying to rack my brains and come up with an answer why this week, the two times Edward had openly come up to me, he was alone. He _never_ seemed to be alone. Someone was always hanging around him, or off him, or on him. Was it just luck, then?

"That's good," Alice was saying, nodding her head seriously. "I mean, there's no harm in being social, right? Tell me—"and her small body leant towards Edward with all the eagerness of a small puppy—"is Jasper like that? Because I've noticed you hang around him lots and stuff and I was just wondering if . . ."

Poor guy. My head snapped up on the mention of Jasper's name—of course she'd manage to weasel him into the subject—and immediately caught the eyes of Edward, who grinned down at me in encouragement, almost as if he'd been looking at me beforehand.

"So what do you think?" Alice repeated. Apparently I'd missed something.

Edward looked back at her and cleared his throat. "Arr, I don't know, really." He shrugged. "Maybe you should ask Jasper."

She seemed to really take what he was saying into consideration. "Hmmm."

"Well," I said rather brightly, swinging my arms, "I don't mean to be rude, but we've still got a bus to catch . . ."

Did Edward notice Alice's eyes flash to mine with the evilness you except to come from a maniac scientist, or was it just me?

"Oh." He shifted the bag on his shoulder. And did Edward realise how envious I was getting at the realisation that he seemed to be able to make every one of his movements smooth and sensuous? "I can take you guys home, if that'd be better. I seem to be getting myself into the habit of holding you up." He laughed once.

I could totally understand the look on Alice's face on that offer. It wasn't every day that you got invited to take a lift from non other than Edward Cullen, who stood there causally like it was the most normal thing in the entire world.

"Thanks," I said before Alice could, "but I'm not letting you. Again. There's a seat on that bus with my name on it, and I just have to claim it."

He accepted what I was saying with an acknowledging smile, and, surprisingly, didn't argue with what I said.

"Alright," he conceded.

I smiled gratefully in return, and lightly put my hand on Alice's shoulder. "Thanks, I'll see you soon?" My question was rhetorical, and delivered with all my uncertainty, but he still answered.

"Absolutely."

I nodded, biting my lip, basically dragged Alice along with me when I turned, and was just about to walk off when I felt a hand on _my_ shoulder.

I stopped and turned back around, a curious expression on my face.

"Sorry," Edward was saying, retreating his hand. He looked a little lost. Or perhaps he was just deep in thought. "I know you said you were busy, but do you guys want to hang out tonight, anyway?" he asked slowly, as if he was coming to some sorts of a realisation about something himself.

I stopped and was inwardly gaping at him. What. The. Hell.

He was seriously asking that with a straight face. The butterflies that filled my stomach for a second hardly distracted me from the look on his face. He almost seemed hesitant himself. Leaning towards us, as if he hadn't quite caught up with his actions yet.

His question had been so abrupt, and when I didn't answer straight away, he paused and then his face melted into a smile.

"After the homework, of course."

I smiled back automatically. Without realising, I nodded at him, eyes wide. It was a cautious nod. "Um, yeah, alright."

The grin on his face made me want to laugh. It was like the air surrounding all three of us had lightened immeasurably. All _three_ of us . . .

"Oh, gosh, that sounds nice," Alice gushed enthusiastically from the height of my shoulder, but then grimaced apologetically. "But I've got stuff that needs to be done. Plus I have nothing to wear!" She held her hands up in the air in a gesture that said, _'Well, that case is closed'_. "But I still do think that sounds _really_ nice." She smiled sweetly.

"Oh, okay," Edward said. He turned to look at me. "Bella?"

I nodded again, trying to stifle the panic that was building because I would have to be doing this alone. Crap. But I knew if I declined the offer, not only would Alice hit me over the head with a frying pan and chop off my fingers, I would regret it. I knew I would.

"I'm in," I murmured for further confirmation. "At least, I _think_ . . . Where are we going?" I squinted up at him.

And he grinned. Again. A nice grin. "I haven't quite planned it," he admitted. "But like I'm going to tell you. We'll just figure it out along the way, I suppose."

I digested this information and pushed it aside. Whatever. I was still in.

"Well, how lovely," Alice interrupted the conversation between us. "Lovely, lovely, lovely. Now scoots, sweetheart, we have a stinky, slimly chariot waiting." She clapped her hands, gave a thumbs up to Edward, and started walking off.

I laughed. "So I will see you soon."

Edward nodded. "I'll pick you up around six? That give you enough time?"

"Sure," I agreed. Then, because I knew I was really beginning to be late, I waved. "Well, bye, then."

"See you," he murmured, just as I was returning the way I came, determined to catch up with my friend . . .

. . . With a huge smile on my face.

Things were beginning to be good.

* * *

**Ohhhheeeyyyayyyy. He still doesn't like her! (Just for all you romantics who are deluding yourself he does.) Well, much, anyway. He doesn't **_**know**_** it. He just thinks she's a nice person, yar?**

**Oh and how I love Alice . . .**

**And also . . . I did say EPOV for twenty pages, right? It was written, but it didn't work. Trust me on that. And I don't want to chop their "hanging out time" in half, so I ended the chapter here—otherwise it would've been like fifty pages long. Trust me. (Jeez I say that a lot, eh?) So I have the next part written, and the more encouragement I get, the sooner it'll be posted up…**

**Just maybe . . .**

**But, again, because of my totally sweeeeet plans next chapter, Bella's POV will be taking spotlight once more. You'll hear Edward's thoughts on it later, though, so still no worries! And, just a little hint because this AN is taking forever…**

**We'll be getting a little action between E&B v Edward's group later on . . . *chuckles evilly***

**.**


	11. Heading Out

**This was later then I assumed, but I've had no time at all to do anything about it. My pathetic excuses go as such:**

**I've been sick—the "I can't even get out of bed sick" sick.**

**I've been going to the doctors and they keep sending me to the pathologist so they can jab needles into me and draw out my blood into numerous vials. Bleh.**

**My brother is going through some serious issues and I won't even go there, just in case someone I know reads this…**

**I had a last minute Microbiology project sprung up on me, a tonne of homework I have to finish from being away so often in the past three weeks, (no one else has to do it, but I have to "set an example") and the darling teachers decided to let it slip that on Monday Yr9's have exams… They gave us two days notice. When have Yr9's ever gotten exams, I ask? They are apparently trying "something new".**

**My father decided to try and muck up court orders by giving my sister and I an ultimatum, that basically (and this is shortened down heaps, okay? My dad is the guy that will go on and on and on till you don't know what you're talking about. He's a great manipulator) is we either take all our crap for the weekend with us to school so he can pick us up with it **_**or**_** we have to go to his place without any clothes or toiletries. He's a real gem. So my sister and I told him to get lost and we went to my mother's instead . . . But not before he showed up at the school after we told him not to and swore and yelled and told me to f off, and the teachers heard, and were talking about how disgraceful it was and pretending not to be when I could clearly hear them. How humiliating.**

**And, hoping to God no one I know actually **_**does**_** read this… But I'm going to the doctors yet **_**again**_** to get a referral to see the twelfth psychologist/councillor I have been to because I (and others) are pretty sure I have depression. Not good.**

**So yeah. Do excuse. I like to vent to people I don't know. This chapter is for all you guys who read this, because it means heaps to me. :)**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

11. Heading Out

I stood there, fiddling with the bottom of my top, staring into my mirror. The face that stared back looked oddly blank. I really wished that reflected how I felt inside, beneath the surface. Only, it didn't much at all. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little excited, and I wouldn't be saying the truth if I said I wasn't a little nervous.

I had roughly thirteen minutes left.

Crap.

Still, my face went on looking completely lifeless while my mind rushed on with its thoughts and worries and expectations, and my body struggled to contain the emotions swimming through it. This was very, very different for me. Very different. I hardly ever got out, and tonight I would be "hanging out" with someone who went out a _lot_.

What would I say? How would I act?

The question that had cost me twenty minutes stressing over? What would I _wear_?

I had settled on a pale yellow blouse that Alice had once complimented on, with my usual jeans; only perhaps these weren't as well-worn as all the others. They were neater, darker. On my feet were—thank goodness—one of the many pairs of flats I owned. Instead of the plain black ones I had worn today at school, which had basically no sole at all, these had a bit of a lift and were silver.

The battle that had raged inside of my head was a hard one to overcome, because the insecure voice nagging inside my head made it almost impossible to settle on anything. Firstly, I was definitely not that fashion-conscious at all. I had a few nice things—the dress I'd worn to the party was proof, however slim—but that's where it ended. Apart from the small amount of dresses and skirts I possessed, most of my closet consisted of jeans and other comfortable pants, plus a whole range of shirts. I had nothing _suitable_.

The last thing I wanted was to look like a slouch. But, then again, the other last thing I wanted was to dress up too much, and—heaven forbid—make Edward think I'd tried hard and mistook this friendly thing for an actual _date_.

That would be downright humiliating.

In the end, I'd finally realised I was worrying over what I wore. Something that was completely ridiculous.

_Oh, stop worrying_, I'd told myself. _You know he's not like that_.

In fact, if I thought about it now, he didn't seem fussed with what I'd worn at school today when he saw me. Actually, I was fairly certain he didn't even _notice_ what I was wearing.

"Bella? Bella, come out here! I need to talk to you."

Alice's voice. Which meant she was nearly as anxious as me, although I was a whole heap better at hiding it then her.

She'd been good on the way back though, I had to admit. Really _quiet_. Something that was highly unusual for my friend.

When I'd caught up to her, just as she was exiting the student lot, she just smirked over her shoulder and told me I had to hurry up. And that was it.

She didn't give a peep on the ride back after that. At all.

I sat there, stunned and curious at this new development, while she made faces to herself and looked anywhere but directly at me. When she finally did catch my eye, she would smile and turn quickly away, shaking her head.

When we hit the apartment she suggested I shower and begin to get ready. She didn't even mention the word "homework" to me, so I knew I hadn't fooled her at least on that one yet.

The thing she had said before I escaped to the bathroom?

"Oh my God, Bella. He is so nice! And polite. And he was so nervous around me. Did you _notice_ that? I thought it was heaps cute. And while you were blushing and looking at the ground, he kept sneaking peaks at you while I talked! I think he liked me, but he would be totally more relaxed if it had been just you in his company. So he already feels comfortable around you. Which is great, don't you think? Gosh, he looked good too. Don't worry, I'm not going to go all gushy on you—that really irritated you last time, didn't it?—but I still have to admit that. Are you going to hurry up and go? You don't want to be late."

She had held it all in, bless her little heart. It must have been hard.

"Bella? Hurry u-up!"

I rolled my eyes at my reflection, but did as she ordered.

"What is it?" I asked when I rounded the corner into the lounge. I took in Alice, standing by the door, eyes wide and alarmed.

"Nothing you need to be worried about!" she said happily. "But it is"—she paused and looked down at the watch on her wrist—"eight minutes until six, exactly. I want you to be ready so you don't freak out."

"I'm not freaking out," I pointed out as I past the couch and came closer to her.

"Hmmm." Her brow crumpled. "You're right. Weird." She shrugged then, as if it didn't matter, and finally blinked and saw what I was wearing. I could tell by the way her eyes raked over me.

"Nice," she commented, and left it at that. I didn't think anyone knew me as well in the entire world as Alice did.

She bounded up to me until she was within the right distance to place her arms on my shoulders and stare intently into my face.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, like it really mattered.

"I'm fine, actually." This was sort of true. I felt kind of numb.

"Well, I hope you have a good time," she said. "Where is he going to take you? Oh, that's right." Her face twisted with annoyance and she rolled her eyes. "You don't know, do you? Why, oh _why_ do people have to be so spontaneous when you don't want it?"

I laughed a little.

Alice focused back on track. "Well, then, you have to tell me everything when you get home. And I also want to—"

But her voice was interrupted by the sound of the buzzer.

Double crap.

Alice's voice shut off and she gaped at me with glee. "Oh!" Her tiny hands clapped together and she shot a look at her watch. "He's five minutes early!" she sung in a hushed tone, as if he was capable of hearing. "What a good guy."

I laughed again, but this one got a little stuck in my throat on the way out.

"You'll be fine," she assured me. "It's just a date."

"But it's not," I said. I took a deep breath. "If it was a date, he wouldn't have asked you out as well."

"Silly Bella." She refused to be put out. "He only asked both of us because both of us were there."

She could see that I disagreed, but didn't push it. There really wasn't any time. The buzzer went off again.

"I'm getting it!" Alice decided, already in motion, speeding towards the button.

"Wait, Alice!" I hissed, reaching out to stop her. The little weasel ducked under my arm and raced forward. "I don't want him coming up here!"

She stopped, already there, and looked at me questioningly.

"Why not?" Her voice was filled with incredulity, but I didn't have enough time to worry about it.

"Because," I said. "It's just awkward. Tell him I'll meet him down there."

She struggled to understand my orders, and her eyes scrutinised my face as if the answer was scrawled on it. At last she shrugged, with open dramatises, and sighed. "Fine," she conceded wearily. "Have fun!"

I nodded to myself, took a deep breath, and smiled. "Thanks."

And I walked out.

--

His smile was the first thing I noticed. It was warm and friendly and made me feel good, him smiling when he saw me.

Then I noticed what he was wearing, and how his hair looked, and that there was a seriously annoying negative voice going off in my head, feeding me all sorts of self-conscious worry. Worry that I didn't need, and tried to quash.

We'd thankfully passed the awkward greetings—well, certainly awkward on my part—and I'd followed him outside to his car without and major bothers. I smiled at him when he waited patiently for me to enter his car, holding the door open for me. He shut it securely closed when I was in, and was over and in his side rather quickly.

"So, Alice seems really nice," he said lightly, pulling out from the curb. "Very . . . enthusiastic."

I was staring at the dashboard without taking it in, my hands wound together anxiously in my lap. When I registered his words, my lips pulled into a smile. It was surprisingly how much either one's approval of the other mattered to me.

"Yeah, she's great."

"Always so chipper?"

"Uh . . . Pretty much always, yeah."

My eyes were still focused on the lit up controls.

"How long exactly have you been friends?"

"A while. Um, she was one of the only good friends I had here in Phoenix, when I came down here for vacation. Since I moved we've been inseparable. So . . . maybe four or five years?"

"What's she interested in?"

I frowned a little, blinking, and looked up at him in question.

It took him a moment to realise I wasn't ready to answer, and he looked off the road and down to me, noting my expression.

"Sorry," he said. "I don't mean to ask so many questions. I suppose it seems really weird. I'm just interested in getting to know you, and she seems like such a big part of who you are." He shrugged, and then turned back to the front. "I'll shut up, I swear."

He didn't see the smile that cracked on my face. He didn't know how nice something like that was.

"She's a hairdresser," I told him, like he'd never steered off his line of queries. "She completely adores her job. Whenever I visited her when I was younger, she'd always dress me up. The only thing she seems capable of cooking is cakes, and, occasionally, cookies, and she's doing really well in psychology at school."

I could see, from the corner of me eyes, Edward's returning smile. He seemed lifted, now I was really giving him answers. "And she's just always been there for you."

It was a statement this time, no longer a question. I suppose it could be obvious from the way I spoke of her.

"Definitely. I don't know anyone who is more loyal. Alice always pulls through, no matter what." I sat up straighter in my chair, angling my body so it faced him more. "Actually, there's a whole heap more to her than most people think." The surprise was somehow evident, even in my tone, and Edward's mirrored it.

"Really? Like what?" The surprise didn't seem to come from what I said, just my change in demeanour.

"Like, she's definitely bubbly, and genuinely happy. And she loves her clothes and all that . . ." I rolled my eyes before continuing. "But the thing is, Alice can do a heck of a lot more than just shop. She's . . ."

I struggled to find the right word.

"Strong?" Edward offered.

I knew he didn't mean muscle-wise.

"Yeah," I said, amazed at how he got what I was saying. That realisation compelled me to continue with more confidence. "Her strength is just mind-blowing. She's the one you'd want in a crisis situation."

I watched as Edward nodded to himself, and then turned to smirk down at me.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, although his voice was playful. He didn't elaborate.

"So," I said to break the silence, "Where are we actually going?"

He laughed. I still really liked to hear it. "Well, I decided it was up to you."

"So you're just driving wherever until I make a decision?" I said incredulously.

He just shrugged.

I bit my lip, sinking back in my chair.

"Is that alright?" he wondered.

"Sure, sure," I mumbled pathetically. I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to rack my brains for a good place to go with a friend. The choices were pretty limited.

Plus, I didn't want to decide on somewhere totally stupid.

We passed a few minutes in silence, but it was rather comfortable. I was still worrying to myself, while he just drove around town like he had all the time in the world.

"How about this," Edward said to break the silence. "I might have an idea."

I perked up, eager to do whatever he wanted. "Yeah?"

He cast a look down at me, stared at me for a second with an expression I didn't understand, and then looked back to the road. His face was composed when he spoke again, and that surprised me. I got the feeling something was going on beneath the surface he was keeping hidden from me.

"Well, I was wondering if you knew James?"

Of course I did. James was a guy who you saw and automatically knew was trouble. Big trouble. He walked around with a wad of gum in his mouth, a bit of a swagger, and his arm around the neck of some girl, grinning sleazily as he showed off his tats. He kind of always looked like he just woke up and had a hangover.

I wondered if we were thinking of the same guy.

Edward peeked down at me again quickly, probably thinking about my prolonged silence to his simple question.

Well, they were friends, I knew that. I wasn't totally oblivious to the goss that everyone else deemed to be important.

"Yeah, I do," I said, hoping my distaste didn't sound in my voice. If Edward was friends with him, maybe he wasn't so bad.

"Ah." He seemed to relax a bit, but something was still not quite right. Perhaps I was being too perceptive for my own good. "Well, then, he's having a bit of a get-together at his place tonight . . . And I was already kind of invited. I don't know, it's just an idea . . ." He shrugged, trailing off.

"You mean he's having a party?"

Edward smirked and gave me a confident look. "Not like what you're thinking," he chuckled. "I swear you won't feel the need to go trespassing in his garden to just get some air. It's going to be smaller . . . A lot smaller."

I nodded to myself unsurely.

"I mean, it's just an idea," he said, noting my expression. "We don't have to go. It's no big deal."

"No, no," I objected, waving my hand. "That's fine. I really don't mind." I took a deep breath, fingering the edge of my top again. "I just . . ."

He liked honesty, right?

"Just what?"

"Well, this might sound stupid, but don't you think they'd object to me being there?" I asked. "I mean, all of your friends . . ." I really didn't belong in that group. Could I seriously have enough courage to go to one of their homes, when it wasn't exactly a huge all-invited thing?

"Bella," he said. "No way. You're my friend, right?" I was? "What's one more person? It really won't make a difference. They'll be cool."

Apparently I was going to have to have enough courage.

There was a pause.

"What else is bothering you?"

"Ah . . ." I was obviously really transparent. I might need to work on that. "I'm not dressed right . . . at all." Perhaps dressing up would have been the better option. I couldn't even look at him when I mumbled my pathetic worries.

Edward laughed, though, real quietly. I peeked back up at him.

"You look great," he assured me. "Trust me, it's not a dress-up kind of thing." There it was again, that hidden thought that I would probably never hear, flickering behind his smile.

I nodded, resigned. "Okay," I said, feeling the nerves kick in again for another round. "I don't mind. Let's go."

"You sure?"

"Totally." Totally sure I was going to mentally throw up.

He grinned, and abruptly slowed the car down to turn it around. "Cool." Then he surprised me with his gesture as he placed one of his hands on mine and gave it a quick squeeze. It returned to the wheel in time for me to focus on what he said. "I'll protect you."

Then he laughed, I gulped, and he fired off his next question.

"What does your mother do for a job?"

--

To say I was uncomfortable would be the understatement of the year. Still, I trusted Edward, and there was no way I was backing out now.

James' house had a long drive and was secluded by the trees that lined it. It was double story, fairly modern and moderately sized. All the lights were on inside and out and numerous cars were parked on the small lawn out front—obviously not wanting to draw attention to themselves. Unlike Mr. Cullen, his home was considerably normal. Also unlike Edward, the noise coming from the inside was understated and not that intimidating.

Sure the place wasn't intimidating, but I was still intimidated.

I know it sounds stupid, but to be getting out of the car and ready to enter the property that was staked out by a group you never came into contact with, was oddly surreal. Heaps of people would be honoured and excited to be in my place, and all I could think of was the way my hands couldn't seem to keep still.

What would they do to me? Would they be horrible?

I didn't know him too much, but I was positive that wouldn't go down to well with Edward. At least I had him.

"You sure you're alright?" Edward asked me, coming around to stand beside me. There was a captivating smile on his face that was concerned and amused at the same time, and lifted up one corner more than the other.

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Who's here?"

"I don't know yet," he pointed out, grinning, and looking up at the house. "Jamie would have people even I don't know here; he's just like that . . . Hopefully that will make you feel better. He's just taking advantage of the empty house for once."

"He has a roommate?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "This is his parents' house."

I was surprised but tried to hide it. Edward said it like it was the most casual thing in the world, and to be honest it really wasn't all that unusual. Most people at school still lived with their parents because they couldn't afford to be off on their own yet.

It was just . . . funny . . . to realise these people really weren't that different to everyone else.

"Well, c'mon," Edward said, slapping my shoulder and herding me forward. "They'll be wondering where we are."

"They know I'm coming?"

"Well, not exactly, but they're waiting for me."

Huh.

He didn't even bother knocking on the door when we got to it. He just opened it up for me and waited with a reassuring smile for me to enter.

I clasped my hands together in front of me and unsurely stepped on through.

My first thought was that it was odd; not the décor or the setting out but the mess that was there. It was obvious the place wasn't normally that scrubby, because it was portable things that was the problem: discarded shoes, empty bottles and random ash trays.

_Stop it_! I told myself. It really wasn't that bad at all; I was just being horribly picky.

My second thought was that the front entrance was rather empty—what a relief—apart from two people who were lounging against the stairs there, and looking at me like I was some sort of freak.

Some music was playing but it obviously wasn't coming from this room, and I could hear voices.

Edward shut the door behind him and turned to look at the pair.

"Oh, hey," he said, smiling wonderfully when he saw them.

They were both girls, one a tall blonde who had a black streak in her hair and heavy eye makeup, and the other a brunette whose hair looked styled similarly to that of Barbie, and had a clingy floral red dress on.

Both of them took on the looks of recognition when they saw him.

"Hey, Edward," the brunette said, smiling widely. The blonde just nodded at him and then returned to staring back at me.

"You got a new one?" she asked in a throaty voice, nodding to me and then raising her eyebrows at him.

I didn't know what that meant, but Edward said, "No," and then gestured out to me. "Not in that way," he said. "This is Bella, she's a friend of mine."

I smiled awkwardly and raised a hand in a bit of a wave.

The blonde bit on her thumb but the brunette looked surprised. "Hello Bella," she said in false enthusiasm. At least, it was false to my ears.

"Where's everyone?" Edward asked, looking around.

"Around," the blonde said with a shrug, eyeing him up and down. Her voice had a slight exotic accent, but I couldn't place it. "James is already half gone, stupid bastard, and I think you can find someone in every room of this house." She pointed around her lazily. "We're just going out for some smokes."

"Jasper is in the lounge," offered the brunette. "It was nice meeting you, Bella," she said offhandedly.

They both smiled at Edward—the blonde's a hard one and the brunette's almost simpering—and then slipped outside, leaving Edward and I alone in the room.

Before I could say anything, the volume of the music picked up and a communal laugh was heard.

"Um," I said, not knowing what to do.

Edward was fine though, sensing my discomfort, and grabbed my hand in his. He pulled me along casually, and I didn't say anything else.

We passed a few more in the kitchen, but they didn't pay too much attention to us.

"Were are we going?" I finally asked.

"You need to meet some people," was his reply.

He led the way, and for some reason our hands never separated as we went along.

When we got to the lounge, it was a lot more crowded and it was obvious it was the room that held the source of the music. A few people greeted Edward and the others who took notice of us where more focused on zeroing in to our entwined hands.

I pulled on Edward's hand to make him stop for a second, and he turned to face me with a concerned expression. "You alright?" he asked, his voice a little louder than normal to be heard.

I nodded, waving away that worry. He leant in closer to hear me.

"I was just wondering how many you think are here, from past experience."

He grinned, his teeth perfectly white and straight. "Maybe fifty?" he said, shrugging. "Defiantly no more than that."

I nodded again to myself, and then smiled. We continued along, pushing past a few more people, and then Edward's posture changed.

"Edward! You came!"

A guy I'd seen hanging around with Edward before was smiling in recognition at him, beer in hand and leaning lazily against the wall. He elbowed the person on his left to get his attention, and announced rather loudly, "Edward's here, everybody!" He ran a hand through his short black hair and grinned, taking a swig. When his eyes fell on me—half cowering into Edward's side and trying to act like I totally wasn't—a peculiar expression crossed his face.

"Who's this?" The person who had been nudged asked, also looking at me.

"This is Bella, she'll be hanging with us tonight," Edward introduced, shrugging. He let go of my hand and gestured to the guy. "Bella, that's Laurent and the other one is Simon."

I nodded, forcing myself to smile. The guy Simon was still staring at me oddly.

The group situated with the two boys were all the same people that always sat at that one table in the cafeteria. Edward was greeted by most of them and engaged in short conversation for a while as I looked around the room curiously.

The television was fairly large, set upon the one shelf in an almost cabinet unit. The speakers were the cause of the music, and the couch was one of those pale, wide leather ones.

When I looked back, I caught eyes with Kate, who was slightly behind the formation all the bodies created. She looked at my blankly, her blue eyes wide with shadows beneath them. She didn't look as good as she normally did. Her expression didn't give really give anything away, but something about it made me slightly alerted and I shifted my gaze to the two girls near her side, Tanya and Irina.

Sometimes you can sense when you are being followed. The same goes for when you are being watched. This time, I got the unexplainable feeling that I was being talked about. The feeling was so strong it was more a knowledge than anything else; because I knew it was true. Tanya was murmuring something in a low voice to Irina, who had her best "I-so-know-what-you-are-on-about-and-I-completely-understand" fake look on her face, absorbing everything she said.

Tonight, Tanya's hair was straightened and slick, done up in a stylish ponytail high upon her head. She wore a silk green shirt that was all frilly and ruffled with a short denim skirt and high, black heels. Irina was her usual giggly self, her lips all plumped and pink.

They both smirked and laughed together privately, and something in my stomach shifted. I got that horrible feeling of shyness when you get a blow to your self-esteem and you can almost feel yourself shrink back into your shell. I felt horribly vulnerable, and I tried to rearrange my features into something that didn't reflect how insignificant I felt in that moment. I retracted my gaze, not wanting them to know I was watching.

"Bella?"

Edward's soft voice close near me made me embarrassed for some reason, and I looked up at him slowly.

His expression changed immediately. It shifted into concern. "Are you alright?"

I obliviously needed to work on controlling my emotions as well, apparently, or that would be all he asked me for the enitre night.

"Fine," I said, waving it off. I couldn't explain it, but I knew there was nothing I wanted more in that moment then to have the promised assurance he would never find out I was being bitched about by his friends. It was some mixed up thing that made no sense, but there was a worry there that if he was aware of the things that were being said, he would either share their opinion or pity me.

I couldn't handle either.

His eyes dissected my expression, but I didn't bother letting him finish. I looked at the floor, hoping he would say something.

"Jasper's here—want to meet him?"

"Sure," I said, smiling, and looking up at him with some effort. He didn't look completely appeased, but he didn't mention my obvious unease.

Jasper was only a few feet away, with his back to the both of us. Edward ushered me forward and before I knew it, the tall blonde was turning around and smiling down at us.

"Hey, Ed," he said, rolling his eyes. "You finally show up. Was wondering if you were going to show."

He was dressed casually, in blue and he looked . . . good. I could understand Alice's slight infatuation, just a little. She would be bummed and happy at the same time when she found out I had finally talked to him.

"Jazz, this is Bella," Edward said, tilting his head to the side in my direction. "She's Alice's friend, yeah?"

Jasper's smile widened and he ducked his head at me. "Nice to meet you," he said. His voice was quieter than others, calmer. He punched one of his hands into his pocket and looked at me. "She talked about you," he told me. "Told me stuff."

I blushed a little. "Um, really?" Hopefully she didn't mention anything embarrassing.

"Yeah, all good stuff. Like how you've been friends for ages and all that." He grinned, smiling at me. He seemed to be fairly comfortable around me, and I was glad. At least he wasn't staring at me like I was an alien outsider and he hadn't mentioned anything to Edward about what I was doing here.

He was Edward's best friend; his approval of me was a thing that was reasonable to want.

"Alice was going to come tonight, but she was busy," Edward said. What he said was basically true, but to be fair, she didn't know where we were going and I was positive all her good intentions of giving Edward and I alone time would've flown out the window if she had been aware.

"Really?" Jasper seemed a bit disappointed. "Damn. She would've brightened this place up, you know. I have never met anyone who can talk so much and not be boring."

I laughed. What he said was so right.

"You don't want to be here?" Edward asked.

Jasper shrugged. "I don't know. James was all on about how I owe him a favour because I accidentally ratted him out to Ms. Hazel about him ditching."

Edward rolled his eyes. "That would be right," he muttered. Then he straightened up. "Well, I'm going to go find us something to drink?" His eyes appraised me, as if asking for approval.

"Hmmm?" I said stupidly.

"Do you mind if I leave you with Jasper for a minute? I'll be right back."

I shrugged, and then answered, "No, that's fine."

He smiled and then deftly slipped away.

It was silent for the first few moments, and I didn't know what to say. I looked around awkwardly, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I got the feeling Jasper was in the same boat as me.

He cleared his throat eventually, and I looked back up to him in relief.

"So I hear you work at that café?"

I wrinkled my nose. Not exactly what I was hoping for. "Uh. Yeah, unfortunately. She had to mention that, didn't she?" I laughed nervously.

"You don't like it?" His absorption caught me off-guard.

"No. Well, a bit. It's alright I guess. It's just totally not what I want to be doing. It's really not glamorous _at all_."

"You want glamour?"

"No! It just seems like it's an easy thing to be doing. But it can get horrible. Like, it gets so busy at times I'm completely flat out and I have to skip my lunch shift. And then you get the really snotty customers and then you compare to what Alice is doing . . ." I trailed off. This was going nowhere.

But, to my surprise, Jasper laughed quietly. "See, you're pretty interesting, too. What is with you girls? You've both got so much to say." He shook his head.

I bit my lip. I didn't know how to answer that.

I was rather comfortable, being left alone with Jasper. This was the first time I'd ever talked to him, and I didn't really know anyone around me. But it was almost like it was impossible not to open up to him.

"What's Alice up to tonight?" he wondered with overdone casualness.

I matched his tone. "Oh, just busy with homework," I said, recycling my earlier excuse. I figured it was a fairly pathetic one, so I tried again. "She's busy designing the wall decoration at her work"—more like glancing mechanically at the clock for my return—"because she's allowed to paint it however she likes, and she is organizing a day to see her parents"—or, perhaps, a massive tea party setup so she can interrogate me later on—"because it's pretty sad she hasn't had time to see them for a few weeks. They live so close, you know?"

Jasper nodded, staring at his feet. "Yeah, that must suck," he murmured. He peeked up at me. "You'll tell her I said hi?" he asked hesitantly.

I smiled warmly, feeling confident now but not wanting to overdo it and make him feel awkward. "Sure."

He nodded, and then exhaled, smiling at me. "Thanks."

"Thanks for what?" Edward asked, coming back. Luckily it was a rhetorical question, because he didn't wait for an answer. He had three different drinks and allowed me to choose one first. Of course he figured me pretty well, and none of them had alcohol in them. He passed one of to Jasper and then grinned.

The three of us talked for a bit, and it was . . . nice. Really nice. Of course, we got the interruptions from various people who had something to say or offer Edward, but they were easily forgettable. I finally found myself settling in a little to the atmosphere, although things were picking up and the music was becoming louder.

I excused myself for the bathroom eventually, and Edward gave me directions to where it was, promising he would wait right where he was for me. He also took my drink for me. I thanked him and set off.

I squeezed my way in between a few people, and managed to get upstairs with little difficulty. I briefly wondered where James was, considering this was his party.

The bathroom was right where Edward had said, but it was locked, so I looked around me and took a step back till I was leaning against the wall. I stared at the generically carpeted floor, waiting for the person to be done. A few were hollering about some debate near me, the topic similar to one I'd heard down stairs; it was probably making its way around.

There was a muffled bang in the bathroom. I wondered what was going on, but it didn't sound overly serious so I didn't worry.

A minute later, I briefly heard the door unlock and then a person came stumbling out of the bathroom. With a bit of surprise, I realised I recognised who it was.

Kate was there, and her eyes looked like they had even darker circles around them then they had just a while ago. She seemed exhausted, this close up, with her short blonde hair a little ruffled up.

When her eyes focused in on me, she straightened up, and stared without saying a word for a good minute. I stared back, completely clueless.

"Edward invited you, didn't he?" she finally said, but her voice wasn't accusatory. I wouldn't go as far to say it was friendly, but it definitely seemed it could have the potential to become so.

"Um, yeah," I said slowly. "I'm Bella."

She flashed a weary smile, and then tilted her head to the side, looking thoughtful. "I'm Kate," she told me unnecessarily. "I don't know if you know me but . . ."

"I do," I interrupted.

"Oh." We looked at each other for a while. It was rather interesting.

"She's not really that bad," she said suddenly.

"Who?" I asked, confused. This whole encounter was confusing, full stop. I'd never really talked to her before.

"Tanya. She's not all bad. I mean, she can be a _huge_, irritating, annoying bitch . . ." She rolled her eyes and snorted. "But there's something more down there." She nodded, setting her lips straight. "I just thought you should know."

I nodded once, slowly. "Okay," I said. And then, because I figured I would take a stab at it, I hesistantly smiled at her, thinking she must be trying something new herself.

She smiled briefly at me again, back at me, and then stared at the ceiling. "I've got to get back down there," she said, more to it then me. When she focused back onto me, she said rather slyly, "If you want, as her sister, I know a hell of a lot about her that would completely mortify her. You might want to think about that." She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"See you, Bella," she murmured, and as she past me her hand briefly touched my shoulder.

In a slight daze, I entered the bathroom. It looked as normal as most; there was the mirror, the shower, the toilet, the sink. I closed the door behind me and took a look at my reflection; I looked the same as always. Nothing had changed at all, I realised, as I scruntised my face. Perhaps my hair seemed a little lighter, but that was it.

Strange. So much was different tonight I half expected to have some perceptable difference.

I made sure I was quick, anxious now to get back to Edward, though I wouldn't admit it to myslef. I was making my way downstairs when I heard a noise.

"Hey, Bella," a sugary voice sounded.

_Crap_. This was getting worse than a season of Gossip Girl.

I turned to my left and saw Tanya standing there, smiling at me. At her side was—insert falsely surprised gasp—Irina. They stepped almost in unison until they were right near me, and I felt a mix of emotions.

Part of me wanted to run away from them, because I was feeling terribly insecure.

The other part of me wanted to use that as an excuse so I could barf all over the both of them.

And, perhaps there was a tiny part of me that wanted to laugh at them for being so . . . horribly perfect.

"We heard Edward invited you!" Tanya said brightly, flashing me a wide smile. With her manicured hand she brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. "I mean, he must really like you."

Irina giggled. "It's so cute."

I shrugged. I really didn't have anything to say.

Tanya looked down for a second, and her long black lashes brushed her cheek. When she looked back up, she looked a little . . . upset. I was a hundred percent certain it was fake. "We never really hung out, Bella," Tanya said, "so we don't know you too well. That's a real shame, don't you think?"

I raised my eyebrows.

"But it's not too late," Tanya added, suddenly uplifted. "I mean, it's our last year, and it would be horrible to end everything without getting to know one another. But I guess it's alright now, right?" Her smile widened. "I mean, you'll be hanging out with Edward a lot now, I suppose, so we'll see you around!"

I waited for her to elaborate. I didn't really care if she thought I was stupid for not adding anything to the conversation, she hadn't given me a chance to really say anything.

"You will be hanging out with Edward a lot now . . . ?"

"I don't know," I said honestly.

"So are you guys, like, going out now or anything?" Irina asked, eyes wide as she leant in closer.

"No," I said firmly. "Defiantly not."

The look of shock on both their faces was so perfectly timed it was ridiculous.

"Oh! It's just, we thought . . ."

"Yeah, you know, after I went out with Edward and everything . . . I was just going to say it is _completely_ fine for you to be with him now. He needs something different in his life right now, like a rebound, you get me? I mean, we both care about him, so you must see that if he uses you he totally doesn't mean it." Her face turned sympathetic. "He was so torn up when I broke it up with him, poor thing."

Both girls looked at me from beneath their lashes, and I exhaled rather sharply and surprised myself with my snapped remark.

"Tanya, it's all right if you want to go out with him. Be my guest. He's completely open. My advice, though? Why don't you go talk to _him_ about it, instead? Because you're not going to get him by purposely bullshitting me."

I walked off without another word. Things were going to suck now, and I was aware of that. I just couldn't really find it in myself to care. I felt a little buzzed, and cracked a smile at nothing in particular.

I pushed past a few people impatiently, and sighed to myself in relief when I spotted Edward. Like he said, he'd hardly moved an inch.

His smile went wide when his eyes flashed to mine and he hurried over to me.

"I was wondering where you got to," he said.

"Sorry," I apologized. "Long line."

He shook the apology away and waved his hand around our surroundings. "Jasper bailed," he informed me. "Apparently didn't feel up to hanging around anymore. You know what?"

"What?" I asked, trying to hide my smile.

"I've got more questions to ask you," he admitted.

I rolled my eyes. "Still going for my secrets, eh?"

He shrugged. "You caught me."

"Okay," I sighed, lifting my hands up and letting them drop in defeat. "Fire away."

He hesitated, and then shook his head.

"No, it's too noisy," he said. He grabbed my arm. "Come with me."

I allowed myself to be pulled along, and I followed him upstairs with my eyes trained to the floor. I didn't want to see the girls who I knew were probably glaring at me. I just let him lead, and trusted him completely.

**Love you if you review, because I took sooooo much time with that one trying to get it right. It's probably a bit rushed at the end. **

**The next one is . . . haha. Well, interesting. Where is James, I wonder . . . ?**

**Let me know when you want the next chapter. I always want to post up the next day, but sometimes it's not possible. I'll do it as soon as I can anyway :) **


	12. Awkward Silences

**Awww, you're all so nice.**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

12. Awkward Silences

It was sort of . . . surreal . . . walking amongst a crowd—however large or small that crowd may be—with Edward, because he had this unsaid power that kind of just made people melt to the sides and automatically make way for him without even thinking about it. It made it a whole heap easier going back up with him then when I had been by myself, anyway. I wondered if he noticed this, or just thought it was that way with everyone.

It certainly wasn't liked that for me.

I kept my head low, and just let him guide me. I wasn't completely stupid; as unexperienced as I was in these situations, if it had been anyone else suggesting taking me upstairs, I would never actually take them up on the offer. Especially considering I basically knew no one in the entire house and those who I did . . . we were definitely not on polite speaking terms.

No, I felt calm with Edward. Even more, I felt safe. Maybe that _was_ stupid, but I was going to trust how I felt.

He pulled me along gently, and I assumed he must know his way around because he didn't pause once as we stringed passed a few doors on the top landing.

Finally, he slowed down and his hand on mine was removed as he reached it behind him to place on my back. He pulled me forwards until I was in front of him and he was guiding me those few steps until we were in front of a door. A couple who had been leaning against the wall next to it got up and moved away.

I turned slightly to raise my eyebrows at him. He just smiled calmly back at me and nodded his head in encouragement.

"Spare room," he murmured, leaning closer into my ear.

See? Normally that would've set the alarm bells ringing inside my head, but this time it didn't. It was different.

The door was cracked open a little anyway, so it didn't bother me. Maybe it was the calming influence of Edward's hand on my back that did it, but I was surprisingly confident as I pushed the door open and took a step inside. He was right behind me.

That confidence didn't stay long, unfortunately.

My first thought was that it was rather dark inside. Stepping in from a well lit room and into a dimmer one made it seem even darker than it probably was; kind of like stepping out of a dark theatre and into streaming sunlight. My eyes squinted as they tried to adjust to the different levels.

My second thought came soon after. It was filled with surprise, and then confusion, and then awkwardness. Because Edward noticed at the same time as I did about the limited light, and he fumbled around on the wall for the main light switch that was off.

As soon as he found it and switched it on, the room was flooded with the bright light and I actually gasped in surprise.

I know what you are thinking; it really wasn't as bad as that. Yet.

Roughly five seconds had passed. The next couple were filled with different voices.

The first was Edward's, who said in the equal surprise that I was feeling, "James?"

And then the second was James', who I could see was lying in the middle of large bed with his shirt off, feet crossed and looking rather relaxed. That is, until he registered the light turning on and all. "Who the _fuck_—?"

Well, we all know where he got to now, at least. The only question was what he actually _doing_.

"Edward?" James said, sitting up a little on the bed. His eyes flickered to me—I mentally cringed into Edward's chest and acted like I totally wasn't feeling like doing that—and a smirk crept up onto his face. He chuckled, his black eyes wickedly amused. "Well, who do you have here?"

Edward dropped his hand from my back. I guess he thought it was no longer needed there, but I felt the total opposite. I felt like I needed the support.

"This is Bella," he said slowly. One quick look to my side showed that Edward was eyeing James with a confused look on his face. I wondered if I wanted to know what he was thinking.

The room was just as to be expected, considering there was no permenant residence sleeping inside. It was as neat and generic and boring as any other spare bedroom. Innocently so.

I of course went red like an idiot when James' eyes dissected me slowly, almost like he was either committing me to memory or making an assessment of me. I fidgeted awkwardly and cast my eyes down to the carpet. It was different from the rest of the house, a very pale blue.

James laughed then again. "Oh, I see," he said, but I didn't know what he meant. I supposed it didn't matter.

"James—what are you doing in here?" Edward asked, like he had no idea.

I looked up and James was answering him with a wicked grin. "The same as you were planning, I guess," he said casually, but all the while smiling.

His smile made me uncomfortable. I didn't understand why Edward couldn't see what a player he was, with his amused smile and bright eyes and dirty blond hair.

His words apparently made more sense to Edward than me, but perhaps that was because I wasn't really paying full attention to what he was saying.

"We're not—" But Edward cut his words short when the door off the bedroom—presumably a bathroom—opened up and a girl stepped out.

A girl with long, fiery hair who was dressed in James' missing shirt. That was basically all she was wearing; it was loosely buttoned up, but her black lacy underwear was clearly visible underneath.

Edward moved mechanically; he reached a foot behind him and kicked the door shut with a click. The music and voices from outside were drowned out and it was awfully quiet in the small room. A small room that was feeling all of a sudden too crowded.

With the click of the door many things clicked into place in my head, leaving me feeling like an idiot for only just catching on.

James was watching the pair of us carefully, and his eyes strayed to the girl's tall figure and back to us with a wicked wriggle of his eyebrows.

"Hey, baby," he said appreciatively, smiling dangerously at her. "You're gonna have to wait up a minute, we've got company."

The girl's eyes flashed to Edward and me, but other than that there was no movement on her facial expressions at all. There was a difference with Edward, though. He seemed . . . uncomfortable . . . at my side. Sure, I was uncomfortable myself, but it was still somehow different.

The girl walked, still staring at us, slowly over to the bed and sunk down on the edge of it with her legs curled up beneath her. Her posture was straight; only her head ducked down so she could gaze with more mysteriousness—or, conversely, more creepiness—at us.

When she finally spoke, her voice was low.

"Hello, Edward," she said, tilting her head to the side and staring at him with more unobvious scrutiny.

Edward knew her? My brow crumpled without me consciously deciding it to, and I looked at Edward for confirmation.

He wasn't looking at either of us; instead, he was staring, without much of an expression at all, at James. He didn't even acknowledge her.

I felt like an imposer on a very tense situation. Everyone seemed to know everyone else but me.

"Ease up, Ed," James chuckled finally. "I've never seen you look so serious. Are you really that pissed we got here first?" He looked to the girl on his bed and ushered with his hand for her to come forward.

She straightened even more and basically crawled over to his side, settling down casually against his back. She was looking intently at me now, and I was doing my best to ignore it. Her bare legs stretched out in front of her, her bloody red toenails glistening in the light.

"I'm surprised you came after all, though," James continued without an answer. He ran one of his fingers down the girl's jaw, barely grazing her lip, with the air of someone looking over their prize. "Does . . . I'm sorry, Bella, was it?"

I tilted my head the most infinitesimal bit in confirmation. I think I was slightly frozen. I had no idea what the heck was going on with Edward.

James smirked. "I'm sorry. Bella, then. This, Bella, is Victoria." He brushed back a thick strand of hair from her face. The girl barely blinked. "Edward, you know, you've done pretty well. I'm assuming you didn't just meet Bella here, because I've never seen her before."

I swear Edward made some sort of noise, but I couldn't even make out what it was.

"Still, I'm sorry we've spoiled your evening. I guess it's a bit of a setback, huh? I'd give you this room, but then Victoria . . ." He looked down at her, and after a second, she looked up at him through her lashes. He laughed. "Well, I don't think it would go down too well with her at all."

I swallowed.

James cleared his throat, and reached over to the bedside table so he could retrieve something that had been placed on it. With surprise, I watched as he lit up a cigarette with a small green lighter and absentmindedly took a puff.

Edward seemed to recover with whatever had been battling inside his head. He spoke with firm conviction. "I think I'll see you later, James. Bella and I have got to go."

I sighed with relief and hoped nobody heard it.

James seemed taken aback in his relaxed state. I was wondering how much he'd drunken to get to this stage. Normally, James was laughing obtrusively loud and hitting on anything in sight. That was bad enough. At the moment, he spoke slower and lower, darker, and he seemed . . . creepy. Really creepy. Actually, the pair of them were a bunch of psychopaths as far as I was concerned. I think it was just _how_ relaxed they were. It was unnerving.

James lifted the cigarette from his mouth and wordlessly passed it down to Victoria, who took it without a word. He blew the smoke out of his mouth to the side.

"Already?" he drawled. "Where else are you going to go? Damn, I wish . . ." He trailed off as his eyes appraised my body. He finally looked at my face and grinned when he saw me watching him.

I shivered.

Just barely, I felt Edward's finger brush my hand, almost like a silent apology.

"I'll see you at school, James," he said, already in motion for the door. "If you show," he muttered to himself, so quietly I hardly heard him. He completely ignored Victoria.

I nearly jumped when James' howling laughter sounded out around the room. Edward was already opening the door and was indicating for me to exit in front of him, when James called out in a raucous voice, "It's good to see you've moved on finally after Tanya. You probably need a good fuck."

I was out of the door before it even registered. Edward slammed it shut after him and somehow my hand automatically slipped into his. It seemed to be what we were doing now, anyway.

Everything was just the same as it had been before. Edward paid no attention to anyone else as he pulled me along, and he made no move to say anything to me. I kept quiet, too, letting him lead again, feeling his warm hand wrapped around mine. Something about his demenour made me think he was battling with some internal anger.

We were heading downstairs before I even knew it.

At one point, I felt a twinge in my stomach when we came across Tanya. She was sitting in some random guy's lap and was laughing, her head thrown back like she had no care in the world. Unfortunately, she seemed to sense my eyes on hers and her head snapped up in our direction.

Edward probably noticed but he barely looked at her. Tanya glanced down at the guy she was sitting on, and quickly jumped up and left him as she rushed over towards us.

"Edward!" she said, smiling grandly, treating me like I didn't exist. However, if she thought I hadn't noticed her eyes zero in on out twined hands before, she was a total idiot. Edward stopped and spun around, looking down at her.

I felt rather insignificant, standing in between two outrageously attractive people. I felt awkward, and really wished I was taller. Tanya's heels were so thin and strappy and tall they made her almost the same height as Edward.

"What is it, Tanya," he said, sounding calm but somewhat distracted. That was always the way with him though; for whenever I was with him, he seemed to be pretty good at keeping a calm exterior.

She seemed delighted in his response and grinned at him, encouraged. "A bunch of us are going to be heading down to Macy's and I was wondering if—"

"I can't go, Tanya," he said. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to be busy. This is Bella, by the way," he added, somehow managing to put me in the spotlight.

If there was ever an awkward moment . . .

She didn't even waste her time; her eyes barely flickered to me and back again before she was speaking again. Her face twisted a little with distaste, but it was gone before it was really noticable. "Yeah, I know," she said dismissively. _Really_ dismissively. Like I was absolutely nothing. "But this is going to be really _big_ and if you're not there . . ."

Edward was shaking his head. "Look, I'm going to give this one a miss. No one will care."

"But _I_ will," she insisted.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Sure you will," he said. He lifted my hand that was in his up and with that thumb pointed to me. "I don't think Bella is really up to going to somewhere like that, though, anyway," he said. Tanya looked down at the floor quickly and then abruptly looked back into his eyes. Then a confused look came to his face. "Hang on—how do you two know each other?"

It was Tanya's turn to roll her eyes. Her next words came out in a rush. "Oh, it's nothing, really . . . Bella just had a crush on you back in freshman year when we were going out, and she told so many people it got round to me. It was really actually pretty funny though, right, Bella? All she would do was gush on about you and how you were going to have _such_ a big wedding." She smiled. "I even heard the wedding plan arrangements." She shrugged. "We sorted it out though, so no worries. It was just a silly little girl's crush." She smiled sweetly. "I've got to go then, okay? I'll see you later, Edward." She parted slightly and nodded to me in my bewilderment. Her eyes held mine for a second longer than was necessary. "Bella . . ."

Well. Crap. I definitely wasn't expecting _that_ . . .

Tanya was gone in an instant. I braved all and peeked a look up at Edward. He was staring at me with all the emotions I really didn't want to see on his face.

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Don't give me that look," I muttered defensively. I shrugged out of his grip on my hand and took a step back. I didn't know what to do. There was a really simple way of solving this only I couldn't get my hands on it. I looked at my feet, biting my lip.

"Bella," Edward said, and I looked back up to him.

The look he was giving my made me realise this wouldn't work. It was going to work. It should be simple and I should be able to tell him it wasn't true, but it wouldn't work. He was friends with people who probably hated me and I'd come into a part of his life tonight he'd tried including me into and it hadn't worked. How was I going to tell him she was lying when all that would do was create more questions for him? I couldn't easily say the reason was because the girl he'd been with for the past years was horrible and had some serious issues she needed to sort out.

My overreaction—always overreacting—was just another thing showing this wasn't _working_.

I opened my mouth and then shut it. I took a deep breath, and before he could say anything I turned and headed for the door.

I needed some air.

I pushed past a few people and made it out. I ran down the porch stairs and then kind of stopped rather abruptly when I realised I had no where to go.

Sigh. That was so like me. I got half way to a dramatic escape and have to end it when something spoils the plan. Maybe it was better that way; the more I thought about it the more I realised I didn't really know what I was running _from_.

I took another gulp of air and calmed myself down. I turned towards the stairs again and had barely just sat down on the bottom step when I heard him come after me.

Naturally.

Now I'd made a complete fool of myself instead of handling it coolly, I figured it was time to face him. Only now I'd made it look like Tanya actually _was_ saying the truth, what with me escaping like that and all.

He didn't say anything; he just sat down next to me on the cold stone and stared in front of him, almost thoughtful.

We sat there in silence for awhile while I refused to look at him.

It was a lot darker outside now, the hour of night—still respectively early, I supposed—clearly displayed throughout the sky, filled with all sorts of stars.

"You know . . . " Edward started off softly, still staring in front of him. "James and I have been friends for . . . well, I don't know. A long time. Like, maybe thirteen years?"

I didn't say anything; what was I supposed to say, anyway? I just waited for him to continue, gazing out at the small, recently trimmed front garden, lit up by a few garden lights.

Edward shifted at my side, but kept up his casual demeanour and tone. He sounded almost like he was talking thoughtfully to himself. "His mother and mine were friends long before either of us were born; not best friends or anything, but they caught up a lot. So, naturally, James and I were always in contact with one another. It was long-distance, though, because we didn't exactly live close by."

I didn't show it, but I was surprised at his casual reference to his mother.

"We're actually related in some way, I think," he continued. "James's mother was my aunt's something or other. It doesn't really matter. But I do remember visiting their place; James's mother's name is Sarah, and his father is Peter. When the accident happened with my parents, I didn't really have any immediate family and so I got moved to my closest living relatives."

The Cullens?" I whispered, betraying my absorption in everything he was saying. He didn't make a deal of it.

"That's right. I'm related to Carlisle even more distantly. I can't even remember how. It worked out alright, though, and surprisingly, I moved into the neighbourhood near where James was. Carlisle and Esme's house," he told me, "is still a fair way away but on a map it is close. And when Sarah heard of the accident and the circumstances, she got into contact and so James and I became pretty close." He shrugged. "He was one of the only people I really let near me for a long time. He didn't ask questions and he didn't assume things about me. He treated me normally, and I think that was what was so great.

"Of course, we grew up and still managed to stay together. We went through a rough patch about two years ago when he started stealing from chemists and relatives and got hooked on vallium, which went on for a while until it developed into even more serious addictions. He snapped out of that, though, and has been clean for a year . . . Well, maybe not perfectly clean. He probably has shot of it every now and then.

"The thing is, James was always getting into trouble; nothing too serious, but a few problems with vandalism and drinking. He was always a troubled kid. And yet, when we hung out, it was like old times. Nothing had really changed, except for what we got up to. I mean, don't get me wrong. I've done some stupid shit I wish I hadn't done as well. But James . . ."

He trailed off, and his words hung there heavily between us until he broke them with a softer voice.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered, no longer distant. I turned my head and he was there, looking at me, his green eyes burning with sincerity.

"I am so, so sorry about tonight. I wish I hadn't taken you here so that would never have happened." He exhaled and looked at his lap, breaking the connection. "I've never seen him as out of it as that before," he muttered. "The things he said . . ."

"Were horrible," I finished, twisting my lips together as I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I nodded. "I know."

Edward looked at me again. "I swear I didn't take you upstairs to . . . well, you know. I didn't even think how it must have sounded when I suggested going up there." He rolled his eyes at himself. "And yet you still came . . ."

"Mmm. Yeah." I shook my head a little at how stupid we both had been stuck in that room. I knew he hadn't intended anything of that nature. I slowly tilted my head up to see him. "I came because I trust you, I guess."

He looked back at me thoughtfully. Then a hesitant smile crept onto his face. "Thanks," he said simply. "I don't know why that makes me so happy."

I snorted and then laughed quietly to myself.

"I trust you too," he told me. "More than I even thought I did."

I closed my mouth and just looked at him. I still hadn't forgotten, what with all his brilliant distractions, the reason I had gone out here in the first place. It was bound to come up any minute.

"So can I ask you a question now?" he suddenly asked.

Surprised, that not being what I had expected, I nodded. "You always have a question for me," I pointed out.

"Of course," he said lightly. "And I probably always will. I told you the day I met you how fascinating you are. If I remember correctly I also told you you should learn to speak up more . . . Which brings us to my question."

I sighed. I waited. "Well?"

"Why did you move here in the first place? Was it just to live with your father?"

I took a very deep, long breath in through my mouth. "I don't want to tell you the truth on that one," I admitted in a barely audible mumble.

He seemed confused. "Is it really that bad?"

I shook my head, but my expression was probably giving off another answer. "Yes and no," I got out after a moment of that. "To me, definitely, but not to anyone else."

"Hmmm."

He didn't bring it up again, and I realised he really was being pretty perfect. I also knew right in that moment he wouldn't ever be the one to bring up what Tanya had said. He was too good for that. It would be up to me to set it straight.

I cleared my throat a little. This was beyond awkward. "You know with what Tanya said before and everything . . ."

He looked so understanding then. I couldn't get over it. I couldn't even look at him properly.

"You don't have to worry about it," he said. Said it with closing finality.

I lost my nerve. He was right; who wanted to bring it up, anyway? I would just pretend it never happened.

"Can I take you somewhere else?" Edward asked after a moment. "Do you want something to eat? Or would it be better if I got you home?"

I thought about that. "I don't want to go home yet," I said truthfully. "What's the time, anyway?" After all, that was something I couldn't argue with.

"It's just after nine," he told me.

I smiled, and looked to him with sudden enthusiasm. "Well, I've got a good idea where we can go . . . If you want to drive us there."

He raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?"

I nodded encouragingly.

He jumped up. "Let's get out of here, then," he said, grinning. He gently helped me up. "Are you going to tell me where?"

I shook my head, sealing my lips. "Nope. You're just going to have to wait and find out."

Just like with everything between us. I wasn't sure, but I had a feeling that there was nothing the pair of us wouldn't end up revealing; it was all a matter of time, and finding the right key to unlock the secrets.

**Yay! Review if you're proud of me for that one ******

**Oh! And I've got heaps to write now, because there's when they get back to school the next day and TENSION between groups. Ha. That will be fun. (I like giving away what it will be. Is that bad??)**


	13. Reminisce

**Oh. Ohhhh. I didn't expect people to like that chapter that much. How… nice. Very nice. God, don't you just love my A/N's? They are so **_**interesting**_**… *rolls eyes* **

**I love my reviews. I love pm's. I love it all, so feel free to talk to me ******** I can carry a conversation about almost anything. You can tell me I'm stupid, if you like, which happens a lot, just not on here. You're all too nice.**

**HA!**

**(Note: that was not a sarcastic "ha", I swear. More of a "let's get down to business and stop rambling" one.)**

13. Reminisce

"Eww! _Really?_" Alice shook her head in wonder and disgust. "But you said you didn't really see anything? Thank goodness for that." She shuddered. "I mean, we all know that James is a loser, but that's just taking it way too far. And this Victoria sounds really . . . creepy."

I nodding, agreeing with everything she was saying. I was lying across my bed on my stomach, resting my chin in the cradle my hands formed for it. Alice was sitting, sprawled at my side, feeding me back all the information I'd been spilling to her for the last twenty or so minutes. We often got carried away with these conversations, sidetracked, so they took longer than was really necessary.

We both ignored the clock on my bedside table, and the time of night it was indicating.

"I can't even get why Edward is friends with someone like James in the first place. Actually, I'm beginning to wonder why he hangs out with _half_ the people he does," Alice mused.

I hadn't retold the story Edward had confined in me with about James and his own parents. It wasn't loyal at all to spill that one, even to someone as trustworthy as Alice.

"Yeah . . ." I bit my lip. "Maybe they're different around him? I got the feeling that wasn't the way James acted around him most of the time." I shrugged, crossing my legs in the air. "Maybe the others are different, too." I believed this to be true; Edward wasn't stupid, that much I knew. And he had the whole charm thing working in his favour with the whole school; it probably worked the other way around as well.

Alice nodded, taking what I was saying into serious consideration. "Well . . . we do all know that _most_ people in this world are alright when they are on their own; it's in big groups when the pressure gets to them and they turn nasty. But still, _James_?! No excuses. He's bad."

Alice was already in her pyjamas, which were always cute matching outfits; tonight is was shorts with a big satin ribbon and a white lace singlet. She looked all warm and funky and just so _Alice_. I was in my usual grey sweats and boring t-shirt, but who was really going to be seeing me, at the end of the day?

"Hmmm." Then I remembered a vital bit of information that seemed a lot more important at the moment. All previous worries flew from my mind and were replaced by expectance of the way the next scene would play out. "Oh!"

"What?" She was on to me in a second, eyes flashing to my face.

"You know how I've explained the whole bedroom incident?" I explained.

"Yeah. And don't forget Tanya and her whole tanty about giving you 'permission' to go out with Edward." She snorted.

"Well," I said slowly. "I might've left out the bit where Jasper was there and we talked and he mentioned you . . . "I looked up at her from the soft colours of my comforter.

"What?" Alice immediately seemed perked up. "Really? You're not messing with me, are you?" She was so happy.

I shook my head furiously. "Of course not," I scoffed. "But he wanted to pass on a little 'hello' to you, and he was asking what you were up to tonight and everything. Alice, he seems really nice."

She nodded, and then rolled her eyes. "Oh, you've caught onto that, have you? Geesh."

I laughed.

"But that is so great." She sighed, and then relaxed her face into a peaceful, almost euphoric smile.

"Are you going to be seeing him soon?" I pressed, wanting to see that amount of happiness on her face more often.

She blinked, and then looked at me. All of a sudden she seemed unsure. "Well, I know I would _like_ to, but I don't know how. Oh, I guess I'll have to settle with school. Unless you want to drop in some nice hints to old Eddy boy, yeah?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Like, get some answers from him about his whereabouts after school and on weekends? You know, I really think I was onto something that day in the car park, if you'd just let me finish . . ."

"You were so scaring him," I laughed, pointing out the truth. "He would've withheld all the information he has, for his friend's safety."

"Nonsense," Alice sniffed. "He really liked me. I could tell."

I smiled. She was right, he did seem to. I was glad about that.

"Now tell me where you took him!" she demanded. "I want to know the rest!"

I took a deep breath. The other thing I had decided on skipping was the whole second encounter with Tanya and her small lie. It was something I was just going to ignore—it hadn't seemed to have made any difference at all yet.

"Okay, but don't press me for too many details, okay? It's getting really late . . ."

"Yes, yes, of course," Alice breezed happily. "Now get to the good stuff."

I watched her eager face carefully, and then succumbed. "Ha. Well, we ended up in . . . Do you remember that place I've gone to since I was a kid?"

"Which one?" Alice asked, confused.

"Well, I don't think you've been there, but I've told you about it. It's that garden—well, I suppose it's more of a park—in that really secluded spot away from town? And no one is ever really there. It's probably one of the safest places to go, anyway, even at night, and it's got those huge trees that I used to climb in the summer when I came down here for vacation. Not that it's ever perfect summer weather . . ."

Alice nodded, latching onto what I was saying. "Yeah, I think I do know the place. I remember you speaking of it. Is it the one with all those old-fashioned lampposts that no one's vandalised, like, ever?"

I nodded eagerly. "Yeah, that's the place! The one amazing spot in all of little Forks . . . I hope it never gets ruined or people hear about it. I love it being my spot." I laughed.

"So you seriously took him to a deserted, quiet little garden in the middle of nowhere—or at least ten minutes away from home—where you could be alone ... late at night?" She almost sounded like she was mocking me. "Bella, you've got to understand what that sounds like."

I huffed, my cheeks going a little scarlet as I tried my best to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that was beginning to seep in at her words. "It wasn't _like_ that, though," I insisted. "I know it sounds all odd and full of implications, but it's never like that when I'm with him. I hardly know him but there's no . . . _trying_. I could probably ask him home and he wouldn't think anything of it or read into it." I shrugged. "Not that I'm going to or anything . . ." I added.

Alice was silent for a moment, and then she said quietly. "You guys sound so _old_. You keep saying you're not really friends yet, but the way it sounds, you totally are."

I shrugged. "It's hard to tell." Well, maybe not so hard anymore.

"How did he take it?" she asked suddenly, like she's remembered what we were talking about. "Was he surprised? What did he say? Did you talk about anything in particular?"

"He was surprised, yes. But in a good way, I think. He said something along the lines of, 'You know, dragging me to a place like this after the night we've had is so totally _you'_. Make what you want of it."

She beamed. "No, that's good!" she insisted. "Now some details . . . please?"

I sighed, and readied myself to go over what had happened . . .

---

We were walking through the trees—lots of very green, tall trees—and I looked down at the saturated mossy ground, just listening to the noises of the night: the faint sounds of traffic far off, although not lots considering the location in which we lived; the call of the nocturnal animals that had begun to awaken, their faint movement able to be heard if you listened closely; and the sound our own footsteps as we walked in synchronisation to an unknown destiny.

"So how exactly did you find this place?" Edward asked softly after a few minutes of our casual pace. I could tell by the way he condoned his voice that he didn't want to disturb the tranquillity of the moment we were in.

"Um . . . I'm not quite sure anymore," I whispered without a conscious effort to lower my voice that way. "It was years ago, when I was little . . . I think I ran away from Charlie and ended up here. He was so mad when he found me, but I know he liked this place as much as I did."

Edward nodded. "It's amazing you were able to find it."

"It's better in the daylight," I said, smiling up at him. "It's not completely deserted, obviously—you can see the lampposts. People have put work into it at some time. But I like to think of it that way—deserted, I mean. Just the fact something like this is so close by but so sheltered . . ." I trailed off, worrying I had gone too far.

He didn't seem to mind the way I spoke of this place though. He was just thoughtful, as was the usual.

There was a pause for a moment, and I would've thought it was natural if it was not for the expression on his face I saw from the corner of my eye that made me think otherwise. It was almost as if he was trying to be careful.

"Can I . . . Do you mind if I ask you a question about Phoenix? It's different than the one before."

The hesitance he was using! Almost like he suspected I would.

"Go ahead," I said firmly, yet still not quite able to raise my voice past the hushed tones that were in place.

"Well . . . it's just you never talk about it. I was wondering what your school was like there? And your home? Do you miss your friends from back there?"

"Huh," I exhaled. "That's more than one question—and I never talk about it because there's nothing really to say." I raised my eyebrows when he waited for me to elaborate. "Um . . . let's see." I laced my fingers together in front of my as I walked, thinking. "School was . . . bigger than Forks. Obviously. There's not much of a change there. And the population far exceeds Forks, too. It's just a school," I insisted, shrugging. I threw a look up at him. "Well, a school sans the infamous Edward Cullen of course. How rude of me, I almost forgot."

Edward threw a sharp look down at me, showing me he was not amused. He rolled his eyes.

Smiling now, I continued.

"Living with my mother is sort of living with an eccentric roommate that is a surprise at first, but routine breaks them down to predictable."

"Her name's Renee, right?"

"Yup. Her house was just like all the others surrounding it; nothing special. It was small. It was nice. It was . . . I don't know. A house?"

Edward ignored my tone. "Was?" he said, picking up on the key word. "Did she move?"

I nodded, carefully keeping my eyes ahead on the path that was barely visible. I hunched my shoulders from the cold that was falling over the tiny town. "Yeah. She's in Florida now—she moved in with her husband, Phil, who she met when he was on holiday down in Phoenix."

Renee had known him all of four months when she begun talking about marriage. I'd managed to slow down the pace a little, not that I didn't agree with the guy or anything. I just wanted her to be _sure_ before she was married to some creep who would abuse her.

My worries were for nothing; they were as happy together as I could imagine.

He didn't say anything or comment on what I'd told him, and he didn't even have a dozen questions for me. I went back to the original set I was getting through, ignoring the dulled embarrassment I was feeling inside. It was silly for me to be self-conscious when I was answering questions _he'd_ asked.

"My bedroom was getting changed around a lot because my mum loves to redecorate the whole house when her mood changes. I went from bright purple walls to really pale blue in a few months; not that I really minded. My bedroom now is so much simpler, though. And friends?" That wasn't my favourite subject. "I—I don't actually miss them that much at all, actually."

I looked up cautiously at Edward. "I know how bad that sounds."

He frowned at me, shaking his head. "Depends what they were like. Maybe they just weren't the right set for you. Maybe they weren't worth missing."

His casual tone was kind of ironic; if only he could see his friends might not all be right for him.

"Yeah," I said, sighing. "Maybe. It was good for some time, though."

The conversation closed off for a while, and we just walked in the same companionable silence again. The moon was up in the sky now, just like on the night we'd properly met.

After another minute, I saw a lone park bench and nodded my head towards it. "You mind if we sit for a second?"

Edward shook his head, and we made our way towards it. I sat down on it with a grateful sigh, and looked out in front of me to the road that was just visible through the trees. It looked empty; obviously the end of a court. Only somewhere like Forks would be so desolate.

He lowered himself down next to me, leaning back and looking up at the sky.

"When I was a kid, and they moved me to live with Carlisle and Esme," he began quietly, "Emmett was already there. They'd had him for about a year, so he wasn't completely comfortable yet but he knew where he stood. He was eight, and was even tall at that age." I watched as one corner of his mouth lifted up with the memory. "I didn't really talk to him much at first," he admitted. "I dunno—maybe I was jealous. The guy was smooth with tamed black hair and a grin that all the adults kind of swooned over. I had a lisp."

"You did not!" I laughed once in shock.

His eyes flickered to the side to look at me as he grinned, and then returned to the night sky.

"I really _did_," he assured me. "Went away soon after, thank God . . ."

I laughed again weakly. "I'm sure you were fine, actually." It was impossible to believe anything else when you had seen him; anyone who looked that good would've been the type of kid that had that heartbreakingly-cute smile.

"Bella," he said, rolling his eyes upward. "I was short and skinny and was missing one of my front teeth. I don't think I ended up looking my age until I was thirteen—so you can just shut up."

He grinned, though, over another one of my laughs. "I opened up to Emmett by the time I was his age back then—or maybe it was a bit before." I paid close attention to what he was saying, not wanting to miss any of it; I closed my mouth tightly, refusing to interrupt with my stupid disruptions. "It was actually kind of cool, entering high school when my brother had already been there for a couple of years. He'd done everything before me, so I had the easy way out. Emmett also had a pretty good reputation, even back then. He's not in school now, obviously, but some people still talk about him . . ."

"Coach does," I said, nodding my head furiously. I'd already forgotten my small pact to myself regarding interruptions. "God, your brother sounds _inhuman_ he way he describes him. I just get this little feeling he's trying to get us all up to his level of ability, which actually frightens me greatly."

Edward chuckled. "He's a machine," he agreed.

I sort of already knew it.

---

"What?" Alice said sharply when I was done. "That's it?"

I shrugged my shoulders weakly. "We just talked some more about . . . stuff. Nothing in particular. I can tell you that he gets really absorbed with what he's saying when he mentions music, and that he knows I refused to eat any form of meat and went completely vegan for months when I was only five. Just . . . stuff."

Alice nodded slowly, mulling what I'd said over. "And you both then walked back and he dropped you off here?"

I nodded.

"Why didn't he walk you up??"

I sighed. "Because I asked him not to." Jesus, she really didn't miss anything at all, did she?

"Why did you ask him not to walk you up?"

"Because . . . It would feel weird."

"You just said before, specifically, that inviting him up wouldn't be weird at all."

"Gah!" I groaned. "I know, I know." I ignored the smug look on her face that let me know she was aware she'd caught me out. "I just . . . His house is _huge_. And it's not event that, really. I can't explain it at all, and I'm really sorry about that because I know it must be killing you."

Alice giggled, shaking her head. "You got that right," she said.

I paused for a second, remembering something that was on my mind. "Hey . . . Alice?"

"Yeah?" she answered, straightening out her facial expression until it was smooth with some difficulty.

"Well, we're going to be visiting Renee soon, which is great, but I really want to see your parents. It's been weeks, and I miss them."

She rolled her eyes and relaxed when she realised it was nothing serious. "Chill Bella," she ordered me. "You can drop in on them any time you want—they made that pretty clear." Then she sniffed. "Actually, they'd probably be really happy if you did—you know how they _so_ prefer you to me, their own skin and blood."

Her mock hurt was pitiful, and I stretched up onto me knees, deciding it really was far too late. I yawned, and then turned to look at my friend.

"Getting up, getting up," she muttered, crawling off to the side of my bed. She slid off deftly, not even disrupting the even distributing of my blanket, and then reached up to pat my head.

"Nighty night, Bella," she said, smiling. "Hope you get enough sleep when you're done thinking over your 'talk' that took you up to twelve at night. See you in the morning!"

She was already half out the door when I mumbled after her, "Hey, we went to a party first."

---

**I was going to end it there. But, seeing as that wasn't going over anything particularly new, I'm writing a little more. Do me a favour and read my A/N after this, though. Ta!**

---

EPOV

The quiet sounds of my car did nothing to stifle the gushing flow of thoughts that were otherwise occupying me. The night before held no relief to my curiosity, and yet I had so many answers to mull over it seemed ridiculous I didn't know this girl completely, without fault.

I was anxious.

Last night had changed everything for me; perhaps not greatly, but it was still perceptible. Up until that point I hadn't even mentioned Bella to anyone; there was no need. Being with her was different to being with my friends; it was somehow quiet, no matter how loud the surroundings where. It was simple, even though everything always got so complicated.

But now they knew. Actually, they hardly knew at all, which was what was getting me so edgy. They had met her but I had not given them any clues as to where she had come from. Few seemed to really know her, and those who did had no idea why she was with me. I knew this. I accepted this. It was no problem. I _preferred_ that people didn't know her. It meant she was outside that stupid group that seemed to form around insecurities, vanity and confidence.

I knew there would be questions today.

I couldn't lie to myself; I'd be an idiot if I wasn't aware of what went around involving me. People would want to know, immediately, every detail of who she was and why I was apparently seen to be hanging around with her. The curiosity of others didn't bother me; they were meaningless. But the voices of my friends were another story.

I'd have to tell them _something_.

I briefly wondered if James would show up to school today. I highly doubted it, and I hoped he wouldn't, anyway. Shit would be so much easier without me having to set eyes on him at the moment.

I pulled into school and took a deep breath mentally. I was getting worked up about nothing.

I shut the engine off and slid out of my car easily. Oddly, the sun was up this morning. It was faint and the clouds filtered it until it was dim, but it was still highly unusual.

I'd barely walked two steps when footsteps came running up to me.

"Hey Edward!" a bubbly voice greeted me. I turned around mid-stride and saw Irina rushing over to me.

I smiled politely at her, without slowing down my pace. She matched it evenly.

"Is there a reason you're here so early?" she asked, smiling sweetly. Tanya's best friend for seven years and I was still waiting for the day she'd speak without an enduring smile or a sugary laugh or a squeaky voice. It was probably stupid to expect it.

"Am I?" I asked, not really all too sure.

"Well, not really, I guess," she laughed lightly. And then she launched right into it. We hadn't even made it out of the parking lot. "Are you going out with that weird girl from last night?"

"What?" I stopped, giving her an annoyed look.

"You _know_," she said slowly, eyes gleaming as she touched my shoulder briefly. "The one that was really rude to Tanya. And she had, like, dull brown hair and really boring clothes on?"

I took one long look on her face and then started walking off again.

She rushed to catch up.

"Come on, _Edward_," she whined. "You have to tell me."

I wished I could shoo her away like an annoying fly. Her voice was really getting to me. "What?"

"Are you going out with her?" she demanded.

I stopped to glare at her. Really weak—it wasn't her fault she had no brain at all; I was sure Tanya had put her up to this—but I really wished she'd go chase after some guy right now. Even if it was in clear view of me. "Do you mean Bella?" I asked, trying to keep my voice cool.

She perked up. "That's the one! Oh my _God_, you so totally _are_ going out with her. Tell me—"

"No, I'm not, Irina," I said firmly. I sighed. "And you shouldn't talk about her like that."

"Like what?" she asked blankly, blinking at me stupidly.

I ignored her question. "What do you mean she was rude to Tanya?" I asked cluelessly. When I introduced them, she hardly said anything at all . . .

Irina seemed delighted. She smiled, giggled, and then said, "Before, when you weren't _with_ her!" She put extra emphasis into what she was saying, like she was excited at the prospect of telling me all this.

Right then another person bounded up to us with my name on their lips. I barely even looked at them, cutting off whatever they were going to say. I'd always been with her through the entire night . . .

Irina leant in to me. "I can't believe you don't know!" she exclaimed. "Tanya and I went up to just talk to her and she completely spat it. Really rude, seriously. And Tanya was just trying to be really nice and say she wasn't with you anymore and all that . . ."

I stared at her, trying to click everything into place. It didn't make sense. I was worried, though. I couldn't ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach that was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

The other nameless person at our side started trying to talk again, but I didn't wait to listen. Without another word I turned and started walking past the pair of them.

I really needed to find Bella and hopefully sort some of this out. What would she have said to Tanya, anyway? I didn't think they had known each other before last night, but then Tanya had said . . .

"Hey, Edward!" Irina called out after me, sickly sweet voice still intact. "Everyone's waiting for you—where are you going?"

I didn't stop to answer her as I made my way into the building. I had someone to find.

---

**Just a little bit to get us going for next chapter. Hope that was okay? Review if you love me :) I need more love.**

**Um . . . Updating is getting harder and harder. As of nearly two weeks ago I am no longer seeing my dad . . . I walked out the same night and time he apparently "kicked" me out. But, seeing as the police were there to take me out of his house, he can't really say that. GAH, and just in case you're wondering what went on, he ended up storming upstairs over something an hit me, kept hitting me across the shoulder and I told him to get the hell off me and his exact words were, "If you don't shut up I'll punch you in the face and give you something to complain about."**

**Then he said he didn't want me in his house anymore and I should "pack my shit together" so he could dump me at my mum's so I could be her problem. I packed up alright but there was no way I was getting in a car with him—so I called my mum to pick me up and ended up bawling my eyes out on the phone. I went into shock and went back out of my bedroom to find my dad completely calm and saying that he loves me and I'm not allowed to leave. My mother was the one who rang the police so I left with them, and they were asking questions while my dad yelled at them saying he was "disciplining his child for being naughty". I'd told him to shut up, you see, and apologized, like, immediately after, but he got totally crazy. This is from the same guy who, when he's in a temper, tells me to eff of and die because the sight of me makes him sick. **

**Now I'm basically dead to him. Literally. He's already emptied out my bedroom, according to my sister.**

**So yeah. My little (or long) rant. But it's supposed to be good to keep saying it, the conviction of me not going back, in case I end up feeling like I want to. Which I did immediately after the next day, which is supposedly normal, as well.**

**But I'm not!**

**Ha. Rightio. Next chapter will continue right off where I left it here. It's going to be one of my favourites . . . I think. If it doesn't happen next chapter then it will the next one after. Thanks!**


	14. Confusion

**This particular chapter is for all of my wonderful reviewers. Your words to me are lovely and always make me smile, and inspired to write! (I was reading them in theatre class, and I kept exclaiming all this nonsense till the point where my friend told me very heatedly to shut up.) Thank you again, so much. For everyone else who reads this, I hope you are enjoying it as much as I am writing it.**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

14. Confusion

_Note: Always Bella's POV, unless I state otherwise. Ta._

Yet another dreary Friday. I was anxious for the day to end, to be freed from school's boundaries and welcomed into the weekend. It was natural that Alice was with me, waiting out the day with me—but she wasn't the only one. We were sitting at our usual table in the cafeteria, only unlike the last time, the rest of our friends were joining us. The hubbub of competing voices drifted throughout the room.

"Who are you looking for?"

Angela's casual inquiry kicked me out of my reverie, and I immediately stopped craning my neck and ducked my head down, blushing.

"No one," I muttered defensively. I saw Alice give me a sly, knowing look before continuing the conversation she was having with Ben across the table from me. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling.

Mike was sitting on my left, also absorbed in a deep discussion about something aired recently on TV with Tyler, a kid who sometimes joined us at lunch. I didn't have to bother looking to know that Jessica was probably eyeing him stealthily, probably fabricating an excuse to steal the conversation away and onto a topic she could participate in.

Jess and I had our definite differences. We weren't _friends_ exactly, but it wasn't like we were ever rude to one another, either.

Definite boredom. I sighed, shifting in my seat and fighting the urge to look across the room again.

Angela must have noticed my uncomfortableness.

"So do you have any plans for the weekend, Bella?" she asked in her calm voice, dropping whatever she had been eating back onto her tray.

"Not really," I said, smiling at her, welcoming the distraction. "I'll probably have to drop in on Charlie sometime soon, and I'm working on Sunday. But nothing big."

"_We_ have to get together after school," Mike said suddenly, breaking off whatever he was saying to Tyler, and staring at me from across the table.

I stared back, not comprehending. The rest of the table stared, too.

"What?" I finally said.

"We have to catch up," Mike insisted. "Project partners, remember? Most of it's supposed to be done after class."

"Oh." I left my mouth hanging open slightly after I mouthed the words. "Well, maybe next week then?" I was highly aware of Jessica's sharp gaze on my face, and how nobody else was talking. Why did Mike have to make it an announcement like that?

Mike seemed to think about it. "Not this weekend?"

"Err . . ." I traced patterns on the table top, thinking about how I would say what I was thinking. "I'm actually rather tired? And I can't be bothered doing more school work this weekend after I just finished a load. Is that okay?" I added, not wanting to sound controlling. What I was saying was true, though, anyway.

Mike smiled easily. "Sure. Whatever. I just thought it was important to remind you, that's all." He shrugged, and I sighed internally with relief that he was letting it drop. Good friend . . . annoying admirer.

Jessica jumped at the silent opportunity that followed, snapping Mike's attention up before anyone else spoke. It only took a few more seconds for everyone else to continue on with what they were saying, and very soon the conversations were picked back up again.

Angela raised her eyebrows at me, grinning.

"Shut up," I mumbled.

She laughed.

"So what about you?" I said, refusing to let her get sidetracked. "Any plans this weekend?"

"Ben's coming over," she informed me, smile widening.

Ben. The two of them had gone out almost three years ago, but they ended up breaking it up. I wasn't sure why. They recently had gotten back together again, however, something I was secretly glad about. They were just . . . right for each other?

"_Staying_ over?" I asked, emphasising my words.

Angela snorted delicately, leaning back in her seat. She took a quick second to glance sideways at Ben, who looked far too wrapped up in whatever he was saying to Alice to be paying any attention. Then she smiled back at me.

"Yeah, right," she said. "Like my dad would _ever_ allow that."

We laughed quietly together. It cut off rather abruptly when three things happened simultaneously.

Firstly, the light chatter around us seemed to kind of clear up; similar to when something amazing happens in a movie and all background noise fades out for maximum impact. That was what I first became aware of—I'd never experienced anything like it before in my entire life.

The second was the abrupt expression change on Angela's face. It went from light amusement to frozen in absolute bewilderment in no time at all, like a switch had just been flicked. Her laughter died away with it.

And the third? The third was the subtle and rather sharp cough that escaped out of Alice's lips. Directed straight at me.

He was leaning in front of me before I could even breathe.

"Bella," he said, smiling angelically at me.

I was barely aware of the slack look on Mike's face as the straw that was wedged between his teeth fell out and landed silently on the table. All I was really aware of was his face right in front of my eyes.

His face. Looking rather smug now I was able to blink and really take it in. Bastard.

I swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump that seemed to be blocking my throat. "H—hi?"

Edward grinned, his unkempt hair falling slightly in his eyes as he leaned down towards me. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked, his eyes focused completely on my shocked face. When he did that—that whole unfair fixed look thing that made it feel like you were the only two people existing in that whole dimension of time—it was really difficult to look away.

I was trying _really_ hard to form an answer. And from the gleam in his eyes, he knew _exactly_ how difficult it was right in this moment.

"Sure," I breathed finally, almost dazed. It was absolutely ridiculous.

The silence was loaded.

"Alone?" Edward requested. He very pointedly flickered his gaze across the table filled with very inconsequential people who were probably gaping just about as wide as I was.

My friends. Right.

"Mmmmmm . . . Mm." I set my resolve, nodding once somewhat harshly. Edward flashed a grin, lifting his hands off from the edge of the table and standing up straight again.

I let out a breath. My head was still filled with the green of his eyes. What the hell did he want to talk to me about?

As I was trying furiously to descramble my now addled brain as quickly as possible to regain use of my limbs, Edward was smiling politely at the table filled with blank, staring faces, all directed at him. His hands clasped in front of him, he waited patiently.

"Hello, Alice," he said, inclining his head in her direction.

I watched, transfixed, as she shot up slightly and gave him a dreamy smile.

What. The. Hell.

My best friend was acting like a love struck puppy, and she didn't even have the excuse of Jasper Whitlock. Actually, she looked just like all the other girls on the table. Jessica's expression was a mix of bafflement, outrage and delight.

I stood shakily from my chair, and glanced up at him in question.

His expression did it for me. There was no way I was going to be all nonsensical when he was standing there, clearly enjoying my discomfort. Damn it all.

I stuck my tongue out at him without thinking about it. He lifted his eyebrows, smirked, and indicated with his hand for me to walk in front of him.

I stormed out of the cafeteria with him hot on my heels.

Just barely, I heard the sound of Alice's voice rise above all the gossip and murmurings that seemed to be starting out across the _entire_ room.

"Did you hear him? He said _hello_ to me. He actually knows my name—I've talked to him before."

Sigh. She'd snap out of it.

I was a fair, safe distance away from the spectacle we'd left behind in the lunch room when I rounded on him.

He looked a bit amused, to be honest, with his hands in his pockets and a lazy smile on his face.

"What the hell was that all about?" I hissed. My voice was completely devoid of anger, unfortunately.

He smiled. "What was what about?" he asked.

"You know," I muttered, waving my hand distractedly. I straightened up. "You shouldn't do that."

His smile just seemed to keep growing. "I just requested to talk to you," he said, shrugging. "I thought you wanted me to talk to you at school?"

I wanted to say something brilliant but nothing really came to mind. His smug smirk didn't help at all.

I decided to drop it. "Whatever. What did you want to say to me that can't be said in there?"

He seemed stuck on teasing me, however. "It wasn't my fault it caught you by surprise, you know. But I must admit I rather enjoyed the look on your face . . ."

A heated blush came to my cheeks. I tried to shrug it off. "It's not my fault," I mumbled. "You did that to _everyone_." Idiot.

"Ah," he said lightly, playfully. "So what exactly did I do to everyone?"

No way. There was no way I was owning up to that.

"I'm leaving," I told him with a big, fake grin. "You have exactly ten seconds to tell me why I'm staying and putting up with all your egging, because otherwise it seems there is no other reason you dragged me out here but to be annoying. So I guess I'd better go back . . ."

"Bella," he sighed, grabbing the end of my jacket as I made to turn around. I looked at him sceptically, and he grinned, holding his hands up in the air. "Alright!" he said, and then took a deep breath. His face settled somewhat, until it smoothed out completely. "I've been trying to find you all day, actually," he began with.

I crossed my arms over my chest and leant against the wall, waiting.

"It's just . . . Well, it's probably no big deal at all but I was wondering if you could help explain something? I'm a bit confused." He followed my actions, leaning against the wall as well, his face somewhat troubled.

What was this? Did he need help with homework or something?

My expression probably made him realise I wasn't quite catching on and he needed to explain further.

He sighed. "This morning I ran into Irina—well, she ran into me, actually—and she said something that didn't make sense."

I waited, a stone cold feeling beginning to spread throughout my chest. Anything involving her surely wasn't good. He looked up at me apologetically as he continued.

"You see, she said something about . . . well, about how you said some things to Tanya? When I apparently wasn't there?" The discomfort on his face was clear; I was sure mine now mirrored it.

"At the party?" I asked softly.

He nodded. I became very aware of how close he was to me; he must have edged closer as he'd been talking. I looked at the floor as I tried to quickly ascertain what was going on without him noticing what I was doing.

So Irina had told him Tanya and I had already spoken. I wondered if she'd given away what we actually spoke _about_. I supposed not; wasn't Tanya too proud to admit she had tried to get him through me? Maybe . . . Maybe she . . .

"Bella?" Edward spoke my name softly.

I looked up to find him gazing at me. I forgot what I was thinking about.

"Like I said, it's probably not a big deal. I just feel . . . weird about it. Can you tell me if there's a reason I feel like that?"

Poor boy. He was so totally clueless sometimes.

I huffed, trying to avert my eyes to the wall behind his head. His deep gaze made it impossible to keep them there. I shifted between the green of his eyes and the pale yellow paint, thinking, as he looked back at me calmly.

I finally surrendered. It was probably stupid keeping it from him in the first place. I looked back at him and finally held his eyes.

Before I could speak, he interrupted.

"She wasn't making that up, was she?" he asked me, suddenly looking a little worried. "You did speak?"

And there was my proof that proved the little nagging issue I'd had with him in the back of my head. There was no reason for him to think Irina would lie about something as trivial as that. No reason for him, because they all looked up to him like he was their very own God or something. He'd _dated_ one of them for _years_.

The problem I'd had trouble reconciling with what I'd learnt about his character was why he wasn't just the least bit aware of their behaviour to the rest of the world outside their tight group they converged with. Sure, he most likely didn't see their behaviour clearly, but he must have guessed at _something_. Until now, I'd been confused why he could be so clueless to it.

Now, as I looked at the slight crinkle that was forming on his brow right between his eyes, I realized he probably _did_ get a little feeling that those girls weren't always the angels they claimed to be. Why else did he doubt their honesty right now on such a light matter when he had no reason to?

Deep down, he must realise. He must.

I opened my mouth again to speak. This time, he let me.

"No, we did . . . um, speak," I assured him, watching carefully as the relief showed on his face.

"And . . . ?" he prompted, guessing there was more to it. Guessing rightfully.

I blew my breath out in defeat. "Well, I don't know, it was all kind of quick really. She was there on minute with Irina and then—"

"Wait," he said. I fell silent immediately. "When did you speak? Wasn't I with you the entire time?"

"Well . . . no. I went to the bathroom, if you remember." A move that held so many opportunities to females. It was either a time to gossip or bitch.

He sighed. "Well what's the big deal then? If you already spoke? Does it really make a difference?" He sounded almost annoyed.

"Hey!" I snapped, defending myself. "I never said it was a big deal. I wasn't the one to tell you, remember?"

He nodded slowly. "Right. Sorry. This is just getting confusing and it really shouldn't be. There's more to it, isn't there?"

"Well there's more to what Irina said to _you_ as well, am I right? Why else would you try to find me to ask me about it?"

He looked at me for a long time. "You're right," he said finally. "She said you were rude to Tanya."

I exhaled sharply, throwing my head up to look at the ceiling briefly. Of course.

"Well?" he said, but he said it gently.

My voice _wasn't_. "Well what?" I snapped again.

"Well . . . did you?"

"Why don't you ask Tanya?" I suggested irritably. "Maybe she could tell you what you want to hear."

Edward placed his hand on my shoulder. I shook it off.

"Hey!" he said. "I'm asking you, not Tanya."

"Why should you?" I said. "Wouldn't it be so much easier to get all the dirt from Tanya, considering you've been around her all day?"

"No," he said, sounding annoyed again. His annoyance didn't sound as pitiful as mine, I noted glumly. "I'm asking _you_ because I'd rather you tell me. I'd believe you before I believed Tanya. Or Irina," he added.

That blew all the air out of my lungs. "Why?" I whispered, surprised at the quiet turn my voice had taken. Why would he trust me more than people he'd known for a large portion of his life?

He was smiling now. A smile that turned into a very large grin in a very small amount of time. "I don't know, Bella," he said, shaking his head in wonder. "Maybe because when I'm with you everything is different. Maybe because I'm almost certain you wouldn't really lie to me. Maybe because I know you're _good_, and different and . . ." He trailed off, unable to finish. "Could you please just tell me? You don't think I deserve to know, considering they're my friends, and you're my friend too?"

It was the first time he really put a label on what we were. "We're friends?" I repeated, trying it out.

He rolled his eyes. "What else would I consider you? A pain in the ass?"

Riiiight. I tried to ignore the small group of girls that walked past us in the otherwise empty hallway, giggling loudly. I could've sworn they were all whispering about us.

Edward payed them no attention either. I finally gave in.

"So, maybe Tanya and Irina came up to me when I was coming downstairs and maybe they said some stuff to me . . ."

"What sort of stuff?"

"Stuff you don't have to worry your pretty head about."

He raised his eyebrows. He so wasn't going to let it go. I sighed in frustration. He should really learn when it was his business and when he was interfering with female dynamics he wouldn't ever understand.

"Maybe they commented on you bringing me to James' place and maybe they suggested things that weren't true and maybe I got annoyed and snapped at them," I said all very hurriedly. I blushed faintly, hoping he wouldn't ask me to repeat it.

"What things?" he asked softly.

I groaned. "_Everyone_ there kept thinking we were together. Like, _together_ together." I leant my head back against the wall completely. "And Tanya was all sugary and _convinced_ of it and giving me 'permission' and saying how I shouldn't get offended when you use me because you're 'so torn up about the pair of you breaking up' and then Irina was there being all dumb and giggly and making me want to shove a _pole_ through her thick head"—Edward snorted, sounding like he was trying very hard not to laugh at my words—"and so I was just like, 'Go talk to the guy yourself if you're so torn up about it' and . . . yeah." I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

I looked at Edward, who was grinning in amusement at me. "I really do love it when you just let go and talk, you know," he told me. The he sighed as well, shaking is head.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said quietly. "Sorry about everything last night. You know, Tanya and I had a bit of a disagreement a week back and she's a little . . ."

"Pissed off?" I offered dryly.

"Yeah. Pissed of," he acquiesced. "So I guess there was a lot more going on then I realised when I introduced the pair of you, huh?"

"You could say that," I mumbled distantly, wondering if he was thinking about what I was thinking about. Had he given it any thought, what Tanya had blurted out about me liking him? I still couldn't believe she'd made that up on the spot.

He surprised me, however, by laughing loudly. "Don't worry about it," he said, touching my arm.

This time, I didn't object.

"I'll sort it out," he assured me. "I am sorry again, though. Tanya and Irina . . ." He just shook his head. It didn't matter. I understood.

"Kate," I said suddenly, remembering that I'd talked to her as well. "Kate spoke to me. She seems . . . I don't know. But she was alright," I said quickly as Edward quirked a quizzical brow at what I was saying. "Is she . . . is she okay?" I couldn't shake off the tiredness I'd seen on her face. Perhaps she was having a fight with Tanya over something. Sisters could definitely be like that, adopted or otherwise.

Edward shrugged. "I think so," he said lightly. Then he snorted again.

"What?"

"Oh, it's nothing," he muttered, shaking his head. "I was just thinking that I've done a real rotten job at showing you what a nice bunch of friends I have."

I laughed, ignoring the dull sting that I felt when I knew he was more correct than he dreamed.

"C'mon," Edward said, reaching for my hand. I took without question. "It's time I took you back to your table before they wonder where I've taken you."

I smiled, and then looked at the floor as he led me back to the cafeteria. I was more worried at what _his_ table would think of our disappearance. I trusted Edward, though. I trusted him to sort it out like he said.

When we reached the doors, his warm hand dropped mine casually. I understood the gesture; holding hands would mean something completely different in front of a curious audience. Still, I liked the confidence boost I got whenever he did hold it.

He dropped me off like he said, smiling once more at the dumbstruck faces of my friends, before murmuring his goodbye to me and retreating across the other side of the room, completely oblivious to the eyes that followed him.

I swallowed nervously as I took my seat again, staring intently at my discarded food tray.

It was silent for about three seconds. Then it kind of blew up.

"Oh my Gosh! Bella!"

"What did he want? Did he say—"

"I can't believe it."

"That was so cool. Did you see the way he—"

I blushed a deep red at all the words aimed at me. I shot a panicked look at Alice, who thankfully seemed to understand what I needed.

She held up her hands and whistled loudly. "Wow. Okay. Let the girl breathe," she said. The noise quietened down as I got stared at with either worshipful, irritated or wide eyes. It was completely ridiculous and I shoved my plate away, waiting for the awkwardness to disintegrate.

That was when I really noticed Alice's expression. There was something there . . .

"Bella and I have to go," she said immediately, smiling widely at me. She hopped up, beckoning me with her hand. "I'll talk to you later Ben . . ." She grabbed my hand and I was once again being pulled from the room.

As I went, I swore I heard Jessica mutter, "Why the hell is everyone insisting on talking to her in private?"

My eyes couldn't help but scan the cafeteria in hope of seeing him again as I followed Alice's bobbing head. My stomach lurched when I spotted him right where I imagined him, at his usual table surrounded by the usual people. Only he wasn't sitting. He was standing there, his arms crossed, and I really wanted to get a good look at his face . . .

"Bella!" Alice insisted when she felt my restraint. I focused back onto her face. She'd stopped, and had turned around to give me a smug look.

"Well, let's go then," I said, stepping forward. She rolled her eyes but didn't comment.

I was very thankful.

We made it out, and we stood ironically close to where Edward and I had just been.

Only this was Alice with her short black hair and delicate features.

She took a deep breath, taking both my hands in hers. "Now," she said," before you spill _everything_ you two talked about, I have to tell you something!"

She grinned up at me, her face alight with excitement, and I smiled too.

"Okay," I said, nodding. Something must have happened when I left.

"Well, as soon as you left, guess who came up to _me_?"

**Pretty obvious, huh? I'm so evil leaving it there, I know. The more begging I get the faster the next bit will be up, though, so off you go :-) **

**What I've got planned I can't wait to write. Still not sure when it'll come up, but the biology project does have a point and you will get EPOV with him in the cafeteria as Bella saw him before. There will also be the trip to Florida, a really emotional bit between Edward and Alice and a fight between groups. **

**Woooow. Can't wait. I'm **_**finally**_** beginning to pick up the pace with the story! That means most things you need to know have been stated and I can play around with them.**

**Hope you enjoyed.**


	15. Thought

**Warning… This chapter jumps from BPOV to EPOV quite a bit. Just so for those who don't like it and find it confusing, I'm sorry. Although I don't think it's too bad…**

**And just in case it still doesn't make perfect sense, the fact that Edward hangs out with the people he does is just a fact of life. You know how it is—ninety percent of "those" type of kids (listen to me—calling them kids and they're actually older than me!) are actually really nice on their own, and are also really nice to their other friends. Edward's grown up with them—they weren't always bratty. So he doesn't really see them the same as the rest of the world does. He's got a feeling, but still… It's understandable. (Well, I think so anyway.)**

**Sorry for late update. **

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

15. Thought

_She took a deep breath, taking both my hands in hers. "Now," she said," before you spill _everything_ you two talked about, I have to tell you something!" _

_She grinned up at me, her face alight with excitement, and I smiled too. _

"_Okay," I said, nodding. Something must have happened when I left._

"_Well, as soon as you left, guess who came up to _me_?"_

---

It took me a frozen second of time to come up with an answer. The right answer. Of course.

Alice saw the comprehension come to life on my face and didn't even wait for me to say it; she just grinned hugely up at me and shook our hands that were clasped together tightly.

"That's right!" she squealed. "Jasper came up! I think I forgot how to breathe!"

I couldn't help the dopey grin that spread across my face. I wasn't even in control of it. "That's great, Al," I laughed.

She laughed with me.

"_So_ . . ." I said, waiting for her to elaborate. I paused deliberately, allowing her the space to explain.

"So you left, right?"

I nodded quickly. _Left as your head was being filled with fantasies involving Edward Cullen_, I thought to myself. Not that I was going to bring it up or blame her—I think everyone had the same reaction when he did that. Well, at least all the girls.

_Even me_, I added grudgingly.

Alice sighed. "I was just—err, talking . . . and it wasn't even two minutes later when Jasper slowly made his way through the crowd . . ." She took a deep breath. "You know the movie version of Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly?"

I nodded again. "You're favourite," I murmured.

She nodded. "Yes. And my favourite scene, the very end, when it's dawn and Elizabeth is walking and stops to see Mr. _Darcy_ walking towards her? With this whole calm determination in his stride and the look on her face and my _heart_ just _stops_ . . ."

I nodded, impatient. "I know, Alice."

"Right," she muttered. "Well I seriously got the same feeling when he walked towards me! We weren't alone, obviously, and we were in a grimy cafeteria, not nearly as atmospheric, but when our eyes locked I swear I wasn't aware of anything else. He didn't seem to be, either. Or at least he didn't care. He marched right on up and said in a really polite voice, with his faint accent, 'Hello, Alice'."

She stopped for a breath, her eyes appraising my face for a reaction.

"That's so great," I said happily, smiling at her. I lightly squeezed her hands. "Now what's the effect of all this?" I asked. "Meaning, has anything been decided . . ."

"Shh," she said, irked, pouting slightly. "I haven't finished."

I pursed my lips silently.

"Well, everyone on the table all hushed again like when Edward came up. I think it was too much for them to handle in one day, to be honest." She giggled quietly. "When he said my name, I just knew it. I know something is going to happen. Soon. Maybe not as soon as I'd like, but soon."

"The result?" I pressed, just dying to know.

And she smiled. Really smiled. "Now, don't get overexcited, it's just as friends, but I'm going out with him tonight . . ."

I couldn't help the squeal that escaped _my_ mouth. Ugh.

See what she was doing to me? I didn't squeal. Ever.

". . . And he's taking me somewhere to eat. He says he wants to talk." She wrinkled her nose. "I don't know if I'll be able to shut up."

I laughed out loud. "You'll be fine," I encouraged. Of course she would be. She was Alice. She was taking a step in the direction she'd literally begged reality to place her in. Finally. "And you'll look great. And everything will be good."

She didn't say anything, just dropped my hands so she could wrap her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Thanks, Bella," she whispered against me.

I patted her head. "Anytime. What did he say when he left?"

She stepped back to look at my face. "Oh. He said, 'I'll be seeing you soon, then'. And he ducked his head." She laughed. "He was so cute."

I just smiled.

Alice took a deep breath. "So, oh fair one, what did our dearest Edward bequeath you?"

I gave her a funny look. It sort of ruined the moment. "Bequeath?" I said in a sceptical tone. "Where did you get that from? Why would he _bequeath_ me something?"

Alice shrugged. "I don't know. It just sounded cool." At least this didn't seem to ruin anything for her.

"Do you even know what the word means?"

"Bella!" she insisted. "Sorry I said a word that annoys you. Would you just tell me what happened?" She rolled her eyes.

I sighed, but couldn't help the smile that fell back onto my face. "Well, remember how at the party Tanya and Irina came up to me giving me crap about Edward?"

Alice nodded, making a slight distasteful face.

"Well, it seems this morning Irina told Edward the part about me being rude to Tanya. He was asking me what happened because I hadn't told him that I'd talked to her before."

Alice looked outraged. "That . . . Jesus, she's annoying. They're _both_ annoying. Annoying, spoiled, bratty girls."

I made a noise in my throat, but it was neither a protest at her words, nor a confirmation.

"So . . ." Alice said slowly. "Why are you smiling about that?"

I snapped my eyes back to look at her. "No reason," I muttered, straightening up. I tried to get her attention away from my face which she was watching closely. "Edward and I sorted it out. I ended up telling him what happened."

"Good. You should've told him to begin with."

I shrugged. Everything had panned out fine anyway.

"That still doesn't explain that smile . . ."

"What smile?"

"The smile you can't seem to get off your face!" Alice looked at me incredulously, putting her hands on her hips.

I frowned at her. "I'm not smiling."

"Not _now_ you're not," she agreed. "You were before."

I bit my lip self-consciously, not sure how to hold my body. I ended up crossing my arms across my chest. "I'm fine," I mumbled insistently.

"Bella," Alice said slowly, cocking her head to the side. Her gaze burned straight into the side of my face. "Bella," she said again. "Do you think you like him?" The way she said it! Her voice was filled with wonder.

"Who?" I asked, mystified, her question catching me off guard.

Her voice was calm, at a completely opposite level. "Edward."

I stared back at her, not fully comprehending. "Edward?" I repeated, like I'd never said the name before. "What? No, no I don't—"

"I was just asking," Alice assured my, placing a hand on my arm.

"I told you I before I didn't," I muttered.

"Yes, but that was _before_."

"What's the difference?"

"The way you speak about him," she whispered.

I opened my mouth to answer back, stunned, but the bell rang, interrupting the conversation we were having. Lunch was obviously over.

"This _so_ isn't finished," I told her, pointing a finger at her chest for extra emphasis.

She nodded. "Okay. I'll see you after school, alright? I have an hour then before I have to leave."

I nodded, and then forced a smile. "See you," I murmured.

She gave me a chipper grin. "Bye!"

We went our separate ways, students beginning to crowd the halls once more. She walked with definite certainty, but I walked with my head far, far away, letting it follow my flying thoughts.

---

EPOV

"What _I_ don't get," Simon interrupted our conversation for the millionth time, while I sighed, trying to control the urge to tell him to fuck off, "is why you're hanging around with her."

Tanya snapped her head back from Simon's to look at me with a, _yeah, what he said_, expression on her face.

This could've been a whole lot more straightforward if it where possible to talk to her on her own. Or maybe just Tanya with Irina. You know, maybe _without_ the whole fanfare of an interfering audience for just a few seconds.

If it were at all possible, that is.

I guess it wasn't _too_ bad. Apart from Simon, everyone else kind of just sat around either gossiping quietly or talking about the latest thing—what was usual. But to think it was possible for Irina to detangle herself away from Simon for a minute was a mistake I'd made on my side. She was in his lap again, her usual spot at lunch nowadays, and he seemed intent on interrupting with his questions every chance he got.

Tanya just stood across from me, hands crossed defensively around her chest as she held her chin high in the air, cascades of blonde locks falling down her shoulders.

"I agree," Tanya said decisively. "I mean, who _is_ she?"

"Hey, I thought you knew her, Tanya," Irina said, the normal airy sound in her voice absent. It sounded almost like a reminder.

Then she turned into Simon who was whispering something in her ear and giggled quietly.

"I do know her!" Tanya proclaimed. "I meant, _who_ is she? Like, is she really that important? I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this."

"She has a right to go to a party _I_ invited her to without you two jumping down her throats," I said angrily. "Don't you think it would've been weird enough for her already? She doesn't know our group or anyone else who was there, really, so you could've just been nice."

"She was . . . _rude_," Irina complained, scrunching up her nose.

"Just because you don't hear what people say about you behind your back, doesn't mean she's the first one," I muttered.

Simon shifted in his seat. "What's your problem, Edward?" he asked. "So you took this girl to the party. If there's nothing going on between you, why the hell does it matter?"

"It matters to me," I insisted.

Simon looked at me shrewdly for a minute, batting away Irina's hand absentmindedly as she ran it through his short black hair.

"Have you got something planned with her? Is that it? Isn't she letting you in her pants or something."

I blew the air out of my nose. "Alright Simon, just shut the fuck up," I said heatedly. "I've told you already she's just my friend."

"An ugly one," Irina mumbled.

Simon grinned.

"No, Edward's right," Tanya said forcefully, eyeing the pair heavily. She looked back to me and stopped whatever response I had for Irina right in my throat. It was probably for the best. "If Edward takes Bella somewhere we should just leave the pair of them alone."

To say I was surprised was an understatement.

"We'll behave," Tanya insisted, straightening up. "Right, Irina?"

Irina looked at her for a minute, and finally shrugged. "Whatever."

Simon snorted.

I stared at them, wondering if I should believe them.

"Ease up, Edward!" Laurent shouted out across to me.

I turned to look at him in question.

"You look so tense."

"What's the famous Edward Cullen got to be tense about?" someone said. "Everyone is _totally_ in love with you."

"How _hard_ it must be," snickered Laurent.

Jasper came up behind me and clapped me on the back.

"Don't you ever get sick of 'em doing that?" he muttered lowly.

I directed my voice at him, ignoring the audience. "You have no idea."

"I've got to take Kate home," he told me, looking at Tanya with a sceptical look. "I don't think _she_ will."

"What's wrong with her?" I asked, remembering Bella's previous words and wondering if she'd been right.

Jasper shrugged. "Beats me. I actually think she's sick—virus or something."

I nodded. "Hmm." I looked over to where Kate was sitting, talking quietly to some other girl, and thought about how it was sad I didn't know her half as much as Irina, when I'd been to her house multiple times because of Tanya. She didn't giggle half as much as Irina.

"Okay," I said. "You'll be over tonight?"

"Can't," he said, and then he was grinning. "I'm going to be out."

"What—"

"Alice," he said, without the smile wavering. He looked at the floor but I could still see it clearly; it was useless trying to hide such a thing.

"Huh," I said, and snorted. I figured it was best to leave that one. "Alright. See you tomorrow then."

Jasper looked back to me—an inch taller than I was—and mocked a salute. "Good luck with these guys," he muttered as he turned to get Kate.

And as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, I probably would need it, too.

---

BPOV

Alice hugged me again, but leant back this time to lightly peck me on the cheek.

"Be good, won't you?" she ordered, staring intently at my face. "And remember, Rose is coming down before dinner to pick up her straightner that she left here. I'll be back before it's too late. Unlike _some_ girls who stay out past twelve on non-dates . . ."

I rolled my eyes. "Wow, Alice. I'm actually pretty confident I'll be able to handle myself, believe it or not."

She grinned. "I know. I _do_ know. Well, I'm off then." She winked at me and edged towards the door. Her white shirt she'd decided upon wearing was casual but very feminine, and it contrasted nicely with her inky black hair.

I smiled. "See you later. Tell him I say hi."

"If I remember!" she sang, waltzing out the now-open door. She shut it with a neat click behind her, but I could still faintly hear the sounds of her departure as she rushed to meet Jasper.

I sighed and stared at the pale cream wall for a long minute, which was only interrupted by the dark blue door. To my right was the kitchen, its narrow counters and cupboards filed across the wall; a small window overlooked the side of another building. To my left was the battered coach, the old television set, and many mismatched bits of furniture and ornaments.

Behind me were the bedrooms. My bedroom.

I turned and walked off towards it.

I suppose where Alice's bedroom is filled with articles of clothing, magazines, rare fabrics and pinned-up inspirational quotes and cut-outs, what takes space in mine is books, strewn half-finished papers, bath salts, perfume and weird sentimental objects that have accumulated throughout the years (I have trouble chucking anything out).

On my far wall is a colourful pin board that is stabbed over and over with different pages and photos and scraps.

I settled into my desk chair and got to work on my English essay that was due in next week. It was far better to get it over and done with so I could free my weekend up that little bit more.

The hours slugged by slowly as I slaved over my work, until it was finally an acceptable time to get started on dinner. I'd just closed the oven door when the buzzer rang, signalling Rosalie's arrival.

Leaving the TV on and blaring, I buzzed her up and waited for her to come inside.

She greeted me with a smile; the amount of warmth contained in it was a little surprising to me, having not expected it. I figured Rosalie was the type of person who was impossible to predict, though. Like who would've expected her to look as tired as she did, with dark circles under her eyes? And who would've expected her to still look so stunning it kind of hurt to look at her? Her hair was out, shining gloriously in the dim light.

I'd let her in, and we'd gone through all the customarily polite and slightly awkward queries and statements, like "How are you?" and "It's really cold out" until those petered out and we were left in a moment's silence.

"So . . ." Rose said, clapping her hands together in front of her body. "Do you mind if I just . . .?" She made a move forward.

"Oh, no, go ahead," I assured her, gesturing to Alice's room.

Rosalie winked at me and swept past me gracefully.

I stayed there for a second, blinked, and then returned to the kitchen to continue onward with the salad I was preparing.

She crept up on me a minute a later.

"Smells good," she said appreciatively, leaning casually against the wall, her golden hair spilling across both shoulders.

"Thanks," I said, and then added, "Did you want to stay for some?" It was done to be polite mostly, but that didn't discredit the fact that I really wouldn't object to her company.

Rose shook her head. "I'd really like to, but I've actually got to go shopping, as lame as that sounds. I'd usually bribe Alice into doing it for me, or at least into picking the stuff out so all I have to do is buy it. But she's out, obviously, and I really don't have the time to wait. Thank god the shops are open late tonight."

"Oh really?" I said, serving the whole lot on the chopping board into the salad bowl. "What are you shopping for?"

"A dress," Rosalie explained, scrunching her nose up a little in beautiful, bitter distaste. "I'll tell you, I don't mind wearing it, but I don't have the patience to shop for something good."

I gave her a sympathetic smile. "And it's so important it can't wait?"

She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "No. It's for some freakishly big, scarily organised event for Emmett's birthday . . . Not that I'm really supposed to be talking openly about it. It's next week. And of _course_ I can't go shopping when Emmett's around, because it's a surprise party and he won't know I'm coming." She sighed dramatically. "It's why I really needed to pick this up," she added, lifting her hand that was wrapped around the hair implement.

"Huh. So it's going well with Emmett, then?"

And Rosalie's face completely lost all traces of hardness and melted into a soft smile. "Yes. He's taking me out to the footy tomorrow—and I actually can't wait. Beats watching some mindless sitcom." She shook her head though, coming back down to earth. "But it was Edward who invited me on his behalf."

"Edward?" I repeated, staring at her in surprise at her casual saying to his name, my hands going limp as I completely forgot the knife I was holding in my hand.

Rosalie looked rather blasé about the whole thing. Pinching some carrot from the bowl, she absentmindedly chewed on it while saying, "Yeah. Emmett can't, for obvious reasons. Actually, I'm a bit surprised Edward hasn't told you about it. Maybe it was forward of me, but I kind of figured he might've been taking you."

I stared for another second and then returned to cleaning up, busying myself once more with the kitchen.

"No," I told her truthfully. "He hasn't mentioned it."

"Hmmm…" Rose shrugged. "Oh well. It's not really a big deal—although I really do have to go." She glanced at the clock on the wall and winced. "Like, right now."

"Oh, okay. See you soon?"

She nodded. "Yeah, most likely. Thanks for letting me get my straightner."

I walked her back to the door, smiling up at her face. "No problem. Good luck with dress."

"Thanks, Bella. Tell me how baby Alice goes with tonight."

"Actually, I'd be stunned if she doesn't tell you herself."

Rosalie cracked a smile, and then just as suddenly as she'd appeared, she was gone.

I closed the door after her, lost in thought as I returned to the kitchen to serve up my meal.

---

It was two hours later, and I was sitting back pretending to watch television as my mind wondered. I got scared out of my mind when the shrill sound of the phone ringing broke me out of my post-boredom daze I seemed to be stuck in.

I jumped to my feet, wondering who would be calling on the phone and not just my mobile . . . unless it was for Alice. I left the TV on, swinging past the couch and almost knocking into the coffee table.

I was a little breathless when I picked the phone up, and was silently berating myself for being so eager for an interruption of any form as I hit the dial button and managed to get out a winded "Hello?"

"Bella? Is that you? It's Edward."

---

**WARNING for those who are really eagerly going to want it… I don't want to disappoint you later, so I'm being kind now and telling you that Bella will NOT being seeing Edward over the weekend. I think, anyway. (I really wish I could be totally firm in saying that, but I'm not.)**

**Once more, tell me how much you loved it ******** Or hated it… I'm open-minded.**

**Do you want a longer chapter next???**


	16. Hurt

**Sorry for any confusion; Edward didn't invite Rose to the **_**footy**_**—that's something completely different and honestly not that relevant. I'm such a stupid Australian for even putting that in, to be honest yet again. He invited her to Emmett's **_**party**_**, because he knows that would be who Emmett would invite if he knew about it… Which he doesn't. Obviously. Because it's a surprise.**

**Hmm… Sorry!**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

16. Hurt

EPOV

I punched Emmett's shoulder as I strode past him, hardly even glancing in the big guy's direction.

"What are you doing home so early?" he asked, stunned, like it was such a big deal for me to get home from school at four in the afternoon.

"What?" I said, not really holding out for an answer. I was chucking my bag down in the corner and slowly beginning to make my way upstairs.

I'd obviously bumped into him as he'd just come down.

Emmett frowned, swivelling around to face my moving figure. "You're never home this early," he said, sounding a little confused, but not seriously fussed. "Don't you always have those"—he lifted his hands up around his face and made some weird gestures in the air—"_people_ with you?"

I snorted. "No."

"Good," muttered Emmett. I was already half up the staircase, I hardly heard him.

"They're there thanks to you, bro," I called down after me. "You started the whole thing when you were at school."

"At least I didn't have a bloody fan club!" he bellowed back. "No, I was too much of a man to down that amount of humiliation . . ."

I laughed as I heard his mumbled add-on but didn't stop until I was in my bedroom. I slammed the door shut and immediately went to put some loud music on.

I ignored my phone, which was lit up with the information that I had three missed calls and two messages, and went into the bathroom to splash my face with water, trying to clear the haze in my brain.

Emmett was there when I came back out of my bathroom, appraising my wet face with raised eyebrows. "What's up with you?" he asked, wordlessly handing over the apple he had in his hand.

"Nothing," I mumbled, grabbing it and taking a bite. "I'm fine."

His eyes only got wider with disbelief, but he didn't comment. "Rose is out tonight."

I set my face straight and used the most casual tone I could muster. Which was actually rather easy—I was the type of person who could lie with complete ease.

"Oh, really? What's up with her?" My phone buzzed again and I threw it on my bed without glancing at it.

Emmett cleared his throat, noting my behaviour but still not making a remark. "Shopping, she said. Which is different for her—she hates shopping."

I cracked a smile. "And why do you say that with such confidence? You haven't even known her two weeks." And at this stage I would hardly bat an eye if they announced they were moving in together. Or getting married. Or eloping together to somewhere deep in the African wilderness so they could have lots of babies and raise them in peace and tranquillity.

He shrugged. "I don't know. But I _do_ know that. Actually, I know a lot." His face crumpled with his confusing words, and he tried to explain as thoroughly as possible. "It's not the time, you know? Our relationship isn't based one bit on that. It's just whatever feels right."

I gave him a knowing look. "Trust me," I said dryly, "I know you're 'relationship' isn't based on time one bit."

Emmett gave a lazy grin. He shrugged his huge shoulders. "It's not my fault. She wanted me—who was I to turn her down? Actually, that first night—"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," I interrupted him, waving my hand. "I don't need to know. _Really_ don't."

"Hey, we're both men," he said. "Well, you aren't really a _man_, yet, I guess . . . You're just a baby. But you're a dude, and you can't deny that if you were in my position you wouldn't have jumped at any opportunity you got to get with Rose." He gave me a meaningful look.

I shrugged.

"And you don't think I wasn't forced to endure all your business with Tanya? Sharing a house and all—"

"Okay, Em, point taken," I said, before he could begin on _that_.

He held his hands up in defence. "Hey, I was good during that period—and I couldn't stand her one _bit_."

I struggled to retain the smile that was forcing its way onto my lips. Tanya's dislike of my brother hadn't exactly been made a secret, either. But it was sure as hell funny when she . . .

"Alright," I admitted, taking another bite into apple. "That's true."

"So what are you doing tonight? Who's house you hitting up this time?"

"No one's," I said truthfully. "It's not like I'm out every night. And _you're_ always the one calling the parties at our place."

Emmett snorted. "Yeah, whatever. So it's just you and me tonight, huh?"

"You're calling for pizza."

Emmett grinned. "Sounds good. Well, admittedly, not as good as hanging with my girl and all. You're not so easy on the eyes, but . . ."

"Get out," I said, rolling my eyes.

He ducked under my swing and snickered, closing my bedroom door behind him. I rolled my eyes again for good measure, turning to then look at the phone on my bed, frowning as I thought.

Maybe . . .

My bedroom had one of the best views in the house. It overlooked the entire neighbourhood, to the hills in the distance, the bright sky stretched on for miles. It was pretty big, with a pretty big bed, an extensive collection of old, outdated records, stretching across the wall to more recent CDs, and a pretty big bathroom.

Nothing there to really cause a distraction, not when you were completely familiar with it.

In a move that wasn't very common for me, I went and sat over at my seldom-used desk. It was pretty straight-forward. The pile of accumulating homework and assignments was the only thing seemingly out of place.

And for once I felt the need to sit down and focus my way through it.

I did well at school; it wasn't that I had any major trouble with the curriculum. I just could never be bothered doing work _after_ school. I didn't really see the point, considering it seemed to hardly make a difference on my report card anyway. Frowning to myself, I realised I probably got away with a lot more than I really should.

So I set to work. I couldn't understand it; perhaps it was the need to get my mind focused on something that would occupy it away from all the mundane, nonessentials every day life surrounded me with.

Shit. Listen to me. I sounded like I was bloody wallowing.

It was exactly the thing I needed a break from.

I was surprised by how long I spent sitting there, slaving over the pent-up work, and how quickly that time flew by. I resisted turning my head to look at the clock; I also refused to let my phone—which I was really starting to regret not turning off, or at least setting to silent—break my concentration. Couldn't they live without bothering me, just for a few hours?

It was getting dark when I gave up and went to see what Emmett was up to. The pizza was already there, and we ate in compatible silence as we wolfed it all down. He was stupid enough to mention afterwards, yet again, the absence of friends, the fact that four people had run the home phone about me, and I heatedly gave him the finger.

Was it such a big deal that I felt like a break from the same people I saw everyday, just until morning? Things were getting a little rocky at the moment anyway. And I still didn't know if I was going to talk to James about what had happened Thursday night. Didn't know if I _wanted_ to talk about it honestly, but I'd do it if it meant he would promise never to fuck up like that again.

I gave up being downstairs soon after that, too.

I finally picked my phone up off my bed were I'd discarded it earlier. The screen was still indicating missed calls and unread messages, but I ignored that and just stared at it for a long time.

I didn't know why, but I before I knew it, I was dialling a well-known number.

---

I stared up in boredom at my ceiling, listening to the familiar dial tone, waiting for a pick-up.

I didn't have to wait long. Was that good or bad sign?

"Hello?" a voice answered, breathless and a bit huffy.

I couldn't help the small smile that twisted up the corners of my mouth. "Bella?" I asked. "Is that you? It's Edward."

There was a pause on the other line, while I waited for confirmation to something I already knew. Her voice was easy to place, even on the phone. Hard to mistake, really, and who else would it be?

She cleared her throat. "Um, yeah. Hi?"

I raised my eyebrows, but she didn't say anything else. There was a moment's silence as I realised that I was the one to have called her—she was probably waiting for _me_ to say something.

"I was just calling because . . ."

Why _was_ I calling? I hadn't even thought it through.

"Well, actually, I have no idea why." I chuckled to myself at how absurd I must be sounding. "Does it sound really pathetic if I was to say I just wanted to hear your voice?"

I was patient this time as I waited for her response. Even without seeing her, I could picture the look on her face as she absorbed what I was saying. _Shy_. Modest. A little surprised. She always was.

"No," she finally let out slowly. "I guess not. You sound funny on the phone," she added.

"Arr . . . Sorry?"

"No, sorry, that was stupid," she said quickly. "Not _bad_ funny, just . . . I don't know. Different." She sighed, and then laughed once into the phone. "Aren't you glad you called?" she muttered sarcastically.

"Nah, actually I am," I admitted truthfully. "I've been . . . God, I don't even know what I've been doing. Nothing. I'm dead bored"—I sat up on the bed, leaning my head against the headboard—"and I'm not used to it."

She laughed. "I'm really bored too. Our best friends both ditched us for a night out. It's not fair, really."

I grinned. I was about to reply, when she cut me off quickly with a puzzled tone.

"Hang on—how did you get my number?"

I stopped. Then I took a deep breath, and let it out noisily—most likely giving her an earful of static. It was probably easier just to admit to it.

"Well, because I'm so desperate, I might have called Jasper, who asked Alice, who then passed it on to me."

Dead silence.

"Bella?" I worried. "I'm sorry if it's a problem—it wasn't like Alice was just going to pass your number on to a random. And I only got you home number."

"Bella?"

"I'm here," she said. "Sorry. No, it's fine. Seriously, I don't mind. You can have my mobile too, if you want."

I smiled, and calmed down. "Sure. That might make things easier."

She relayed it to me, and I thanked her. There weren't anymore awkward pauses after that, of which I was thankful for.

"It's probably better I have you number, anyway," I conversed lightly. "I couldn't believe, after all the time I've recently spent with you, that I didn't have it."

"It hasn't actually been that long," she said quietly. "A week, isn't it?"

I frowned as I realised what she was saying was true. Thinking back . . . Shit. It seemed a hell of a lot longer. I was having discord with my friends over this girl, and I'd known her for the entire length of seven days.

I laughed once in shock. "Huh. Yeah, actually. It seems longer. A _lot_ longer." And why was that? Why did everything seem so naturally different when I was speaking to her?

"I know," she said, sounding a bit muffled. She cleared her throat and was clearer as she added, "It's like I already know what to expect from you . . . which is seriously embarrassing to admit and also scarily true. Especially because I don't know all that much about you at all."

I grinned. "What else do you want to know?" I asked.

"Ummm . . . Do you like spicy foods?"

"Depends."

"What about grapefruit?"

"It's too tasteless."

"Favourite memory?" she challenged.

It came quickly. "Christmas when I was five."

There was a pause, and I wondered if it was as strained as I imagined.

"Was that the last one with your parents?" she asked in a very small voice.

"Hey," I said, trying to keep the light heartedness up. I didn't want her feeling uncomfortable. "It's a good memory, not a bad one."

"I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered. "I'm sure it was special."

"Mmm . . . Do you want to know what else a good memory is?"

She knew I was trying to change the subject, but she relented anyway. "What?"

"The night I met you. Really met, I mean. It was so different . . . like out of a book or something. And even though you really didn't seem to like me much, I was still absolutely intrigued with everything you said or did."

And it was just a week ago.

I could hear her smile as she spoke. "Me, too. And I'm sorry about that. I didn't like you because I didn't know what you were really like."

I chuckled under my breath, and then asked her a question as evenly as possible. "What am I really like?"

"Hmmm . . . Annoying. Definitely annoying. Cocky. Smug. Sometimes arrogant."

I snorted. "Glad you think so highly of me."

"I do!" she insisted with a laugh. "But those things are _true_. But what makes you different than I thought is that you're also really funny, and kind, and honest, and just fun to be around."

I smiled softly. "You're pretty great too, you know."

"Hmmm," she hummed. "I'm also fairly pathetic. I've done nothing this afternoon at all. I was even learning the sentiments different flowers represent." I heard a dull thud in the background, like the closing of a book.

I rubbed the side of my face wearily as I admitted truthfully, "Nah, I've been worse. Emmett's home because Rose is out tonight, and he keeps giving me these really weird and pitying looks because I'm just moping around."

"Why don't you go out?" Bella suggested. "It's not too late."

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't _always_ have to go out somewhere," I mumbled. My house was surely big enough to entertain me for one solitary night.

"I'm in one of those moods, too," she sighed. "At least we can just talk together."

And it was rather comforting. My friends might have been acting stuck-up lately, but at least I had Bella, right? And she was just easy to be around. Reassuring. Bloody _normal_.

We lost ourselves in endless conversation once again. Routine.

Routine that had formed in _seven days_.

Jeez.

---

BPOV

"And now we're going to reach down to the floor, just get as far as you can—you should be feeling that pull in the backs of your thighs and calves muscles . . . Hold that for a moment, and then we go back up—"

Alice copied the lady's instructions perfectly, lifting her hands up as far as they could reach, following the directions that were being given in such a calm, practised voice.

". . . And now stretch—take a deep breath in through your mouth as we move, that's it . . . And _exhale_ . . ."

Alice let the air gush out of her lungs loudly.

"So I really enjoyed it," she chattered happily between stretches. "He took me out for dinner, and of course it was casual, and definitely not fancy or anything that would entail 'date', but . . ."

"Lean to the side, we're going to do it as far as we can—if isn't working for you, try squatting your knees just a bit . . . It'll give you the balance needed to make it slightly easier. That's good. Now _lift_ . . ."

Alice raised her leg carefully and slowly into the air. " . . . I hope there will be a next time. It was just friendly. We talked, alright. I told him all about you, and how we knew each other, and my relationship with my parents, and your parents . . . I told you I wouldn't be able to shut up! But he kept prompting me for more answers. And I found out heaps about him too! Do you know he has a little brother? How cute is that?!"

"Take a minute to really give yourself that satisfying feeling . . . Yep, now you should feel that lightness about your body—that means it's working. And breathe _in_—"

I clicked the button of the remote control lightly, and the television shut off.

Alice turned around to glare at me. "What? I was listening to that!"

"I know," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "And I would appreciate it, Miss Work-Out, if you could postpone your yoga routine a few minutes so I could actually have an uninterrupted chat with you for a moment."

Alice opened her mouth to speak.

"No!" I held my finger up to stop her. "You owe me—after all those late night 'tea breaks' I think I deserve to steal your full attention for five minutes."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine! But that was working for me, you know—it helped to ignore the burning in my body."

I snorted. "Yeah but it wasn't helping me to hear you. Seriously, that woman's voice is so _annoying_ . . ."

Alice grinned and collapsed backwards onto the couch.

Saturday morning. A very bright, very early Saturday morning. And not that Alice had gotten in too late last night—I'd just failed to hear her—but she hadn't told me about last night's events yet fully, at all. Which was odd. She seemed high on some sort of buzz. Since when did she break out and follow a yoga instructor on the television? She was dressed for it and everything, a hot pink headband keeping the hair away from her face, black leggings and an oversized, fluro green t-shirt tied with an elastic to fit better.

I sat down across from her. "So why did I not have you barging into my room last night when you got home?" It was best to start with the most pressing matters.

Alice grinned slyly at me. "Oh, maybe because someone was so busy on the phone . . ."

I could feel my cheeks flaming up a bit, but I ignored my embarrassment. "So? Since when does that stop you?"

She grinned wider. "Since it was Edward Cullen on the phone."

I sighed. "Why do you automatically assume that?" Who cares that she was right? The fact was, it could've been anyone.

"I'm shocked you don't remember. Edward had to get our number from someone, didn't he? When Jasper asked me explaining Edward was on the line and wanted your number, of course I wasn't going to hesitate in giving it. Now I hope that was okay. I would very rarely hand your number out to guys . . . but I figured in this case . . ."

"Yeah, yeah," I waved away her worry. "Okay, so you are right. He called. But it wasn't like we were having an in-depth, highly important conversation or anything. And I wanted to know how it went!"

Alice patted my arm. "It's okay. I'll tell you now: it was great!"

"What time did you get here?"

"Nine? Ten? Not nearly as late as you did last time."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "God I missed you," I muttered to myself. She giggled, smiling playfully.

"So Jasper has a brother?"

"Half brother," Alice corrected me, shifting her headband. "He's three years old. And I can't believe how close he was to me last night. Having no contact on most occasions, and then sitting across from someone . . . Well, you don't think much about it until the next day when they're _not_ there and you realise you were within touching distance."

"Are you hanging out again?"

"No. Not yet, anyway. Bella, he's really . . . _shy_, almost. Sort of how you can be."

I dismissed her last sentence and focused on the middle part. "Shy? He doesn't seem it."

"Of course he doesn't," Alice agreed. "It's almost like a quiet shyness . . . Well, it's really cute, anyway. Because I'm certainly not shy one bit. I don't know. Maybe it works." She shrugged casually.

I couldn't withhold my smile any longer. I beamed at her happily, throwing my arms around her. "Good for you! I'm so happy!"

She laughed. "I feel amazingly calm. Calmer than I would ever have dreamed after spending an entire night with Jasper Whitlock." She sighed. "I love saying his full name."

"Maybe it hasn't hit yet," I suggested, releasing my hold on her.

She smiled. "Maybe."

I got to my feet, stretching as I yawned. "Well, I've got to head out. I better get ready. I've been called in for a few hours at work this morning."

Alice's eyes widened in surprise. "What? You're not even going to tell me what you spoke to Edward about?" She looked so shockingly surprised and hurt. I shook my head in wonderment.

"Alice, if I had a conversation with Angela on the phone last night, or any of my other friends, would you be demanding I relay the entire thing?"

"No," Alice said, her tone matter-of-fact. "But this isn't any _friend_—and yes, I have noted you finally used that term in reference to him. This is _Edward_ _Cullen_. You don't just talk to him on the phone and blow it off like it's just another _friend_."

I snorted. "You make him sound so legendary." Kind of how I did when I was trying to annoy him.

Alice opened her arms up in the air. "You do know you the fact you are completely casual about this is a massive, _massive_ sign that things are just right between you. Have you forgotten who he is?"

"No," I said calmly, walking back to my bedroom. "He's just a boy."

Alice muttered something under her breath, but I didn't quite catch it.

---

The weekend flew by without anything spectacular or out-of-the-ordinary. Monday was just another day at school, only Mike was away, so in Biology Edward sat with me for the bulk of it. I felt sort of bad for Lauren, though, who was left alone. Lunch was nothing like the uproar it had been on Friday. I sat with my friends at our table, and didn't get up once. Alice squealed loudly at one point during the day when Jasper apparently smiled at her in passing. I suffered no permanent injury in Gym, so that was a plus.

In fact, most of the week went by in a pretty normal manner. On Wednesday night, my mother rang again to inform me that she was perfectly capable of organising mine and Alice's flight, if we wished. She offered to pay all the expenses, which I hadn't been expecting, and even said that there were flights free for this weekend. Was it too soon? she worried, unable to hide the longing in her voice. I checked with Alice, who gave me thumbs up and a massive grin, and told her this weekend would be fine.

I hoped.

So all I was left to do was pack. Which was simple and easy, and was something I was leaving until Friday night before we left to do—unlike Alice. She was a pro-packer. I wrote a short list of things I really couldn't afford to forget, but she just went ahead and chucked everything neatly in order into her suitcase. No list necessary. She began that night. I rolled my eyes.

It was all coming together very fast.

I was walking with Edward after school on Thursday, heading towards the car park—not that I was accepting a lift from him. I just always had some spare time before catching up with Alice for the bus.

"Any plans for the weekend?" he asked casually as we strolled.

"Yeah, actually," I told him. "I'm leaving Friday night to Florida with Alice."

I'd already told him where Renee lived, but I hadn't expected him to remember. "Oh. Visiting you mother?"

I smiled, happy with the small surprise. "Yup. It was only decided upon being this weekend yesterday, though. I guess it doesn't really need that much planning however, you know? I'm just seeing my mum."

He nodded. Then he wrinkled his nose up a bit.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to look up at his beautiful face and watch where I was walking at the same time.

"I don't know," he said, shrugging. "I'm gonna miss you, I guess."

I grinned, snorting. "It's only for the weekend."

"Yeah, I know," he assured me. "But since the party, has there been more than one day when we haven't at least talked?" He looked at me, already knowing the answer.

I sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Still, you'll survive. _I'm_ the one with the problem—Renee is probably going to get all weepy and clingy when I try to leave. Thank goodness Alice will be there to help me out."

Edward reached out and grabbed hold of my hand tightly as we walked. We'd been seen together so much lately after and before school that people didn't stare too much. "She can't make you stay there," he said, warning me. "I won't let her."

I laughed. "Don't worry—I'm not staying."

Things had been good between Edward and me this week. Light. Easy. Open. Of course, I only had one other week to compare it to, but it seemed a whole lot less filled with drama.

Edward had told me not to worry about his group of friends, and even though I trusted him, I must not have been expecting it to be as quiet as it was. Because their total lack of action or words towards me _did_ surprise me. Not that I wasn't stared at from time to time, but it at least wasn't a glare or anything. That was more than I had hoped for.

You should always be careful with your thoughts, shouldn't you?

"See you," I smiled, punching him on the arm. "Don't cry as I leave, okay? I promise to be here tomorrow."

He rolled his eyes, and in a gesture that surprised me, lightly hugged me with his free arm. "Bye, Bella," he murmured.

I winked at him as I walked away. Smiling, of course. Alice would catch up with me soon. She'd doubled back to get a book from her locker.

It was after a minute of my walking that I realised I'd _winked_ at Edward.

Huh.

Tomorrow was going to be hectic. I knew that as I stopped, watching Alice run to catch up with me. Luggage and airports and unpacking and greetings . . . Alice's never-dwindling energy and my mother's very obvious love. It's all be bunched together in one very eventful day.

I didn't worry about how hectic the actual _school_ part of the day would be. I mean, why would I?

---

16 ½. 

I walked into the school's boundaries Friday morning with my bag securely on my back. The lot seemed emptier than usual, with less students lingering around the gate. Alice was at my side—big surprise—and her light, happy chatter kept me occupied as we passed the student lot.

If I'd been a bit more suspicious, or on alert for strange behaviour, I might have noticed, or picked up on an odd vibe that seemed to be cast down upon the dreary place. As it where, I barely perceived anything unusual at all.

We began passing a more common amount of people as we got closer in to the main building. I shifted out of the way hurriedly as some guy almost crashed right into me, running blindly as he was chased by some of his friends; they were snickering loudly. I gave Alice a sharp look, who shook her head, rolling her eyes to the sky, muttering some nonsense about boys.

The hall was more crowded still, almost as if the groups who preferred waiting outside in the mornings had all converged together in the warmth. We wove our way around clusters of friends, heading for our lockers, knowing the bell would ring any minute. I had English first up with Alice.

I made it to my locker unscathed for the most part, and Alice was behind me, busy with running her hand through her hair to make it stand the right way. She looked rather absorbed with her work, so I left her to it, not saying anything to her like I normally would, and hunted around for the right books, hoping I would be able to find them amongst the pile of junk that had accumulated throughout the year.

I felt, rather than heard, footsteps stop right by me. I half turned, already having decided to ignore it. But my eye caught long blonde locks, and my eyes froze on the face of Irina.

I knew Alice was just as shocked as me, something I'd ascertained by the prominent silence from her and lack of movement.

"Um," I mumbled, staring at her. One of my arms was still buried in my locker.

She smiled at me, and the smile almost seemed sincere. It was free, and nice, and oddly sweet, the undercurrent of artificial warmth that usually possessed it when aimed at me completely absent.

"Hello, Bella," she said cordially, nodding her head at me. She giggled once, running a hand through the back of her hair. She was wearing a short, tight green denim miniskirt and a white singlet, lots of pink sparkly jewellery and the usual amount of carefully applied lip-gloss.

Where the heck was Tanya? I didn't ever recall her being on her own around me before. Ever.

"Hi," I replied automatically, my mind racing as I tried to conjure up a reason why she'd be here. It was odd, seeing her in motion when alone. I was used to her following the movements of someone else.

She smiled wider at me.

"I just wanted to say hello. Hey—" Her eyes grew wide and she looked like she was dying to say something spectacular. "Did you hear about what happened to Lucy Cordwell on the weekend? How she got all desperate on that older guy at the club and he turned her down in front of everyone?"

I opened my mouth, not sure what I was going to say.

She nodded her head eagerly, earrings swinging wildly. "Yeah. I know, how funny is that? She's like, retarded. I wish I'd been there myself. Oh, hey . . . Alice, isn't it?" She looked to Alice at my side like she'd only just noticed her presence.

Alice made a slight noise in the back of her throat. It almost sounded disgusted.

"Wow, cute bag," she complimented, nodding to the purple one strung across Alice's shoulders. "You're like, really short."

"Hmmmf," said Alice in a high pitched tone. She nodded minutely, her mouth in a tiny line. "Funny about that, isn't it?" she said, all wonder-like.

Irina smiled. "It's not that bad. Some people might even like it." She looked back to me. "So, I guess I'll see you around, Bella? It was nice talking to you." She did a tiny little wave thing, beaming, and turned to walk back off.

I think I was still stuck for a few more seconds. When I regained control of my brain, I turned to gape at Alice.

She looked just as surprised.

And maybe just a tiny _wee_ bitty miffed.

She blew the air out of her lungs loudly, shaking her head. "Did you hear her?" she demanded, staring at me angrily. "'You're, like, really short'," she said in a mock impression of her, voice all high and squeaky, hands winding the short strands of her hair ridiculously. They dropped to her sides as she rolled her eyes, and I tried to cover my surprised snickers. "Ugh," Alice said. She made a gagging noise, fanning her face. "I've got such a bad taste in my mouth, like she tainted the air I was inhaling. I feel like puking."

I clicked my tongue. "Well, that was certainly . . . odd. What do you think she wanted?"

"I don't know, and I don't really care," Alice muttered. The comment on her height must have really annoyed her. "Maybe she's so stupid she thought we actually liked her, even after Edward told her naughty knickers off for bitching to you."

I shrugged. "But . . . What just _happened_? Do you think she was really trying to be nice?"

Alice took the book from my hand and slammed my locker shut for me. "If she was, she did a real bad job of it. '_You're really short_'? Is she friggen' serious?"

I figured it was best to leave it.

"Come one Alice, let's get to class," I suggested, taking a firm grip on her arm and pulling her along with me.

She grumbled to herself the entire way.

"Ready for tonight?" I asked after we had taken our seats and settled down, in hopes it would offer a distraction.

She gave me a disparaging look. "Bella," she drawled. "Is that even a question? Of _course_ I'm ready. The real question is, are you?"

Huh. Great idea, Bella.

"Sort of," I mumbled. "I mean, I will be. It takes me, what—ten minutes to get packed? And I didn't mean it in that way either. I was just wondering if you were feeling ready for the whole ordeal."

She gave me a small smile. "It won't be an ordeal. It will be great. Just wait and see." She squeezed my arm lightly and focused back on her work.

I nodded. Of course it would be.

I buzzed through the next classes on a low state of alert. I was lucky, in that it didn't seem I needed to pay any impressive amounts of attention to anything in particular. I just got through the work necessary.

It wasn't until Biology, my last class before lunch, that I noticed something was up.

Had everyone always been so . . . _talkative_ in this class? Sure, the teacher was a dud, and we hardly learnt anything at all from him, but the tone used by the students who talked was always a monotone, in the background. Today it was closer to pandemonic.

I sat there, staring at the boring sheet I was supposed to be filling out, listening with scattered attention to the small snippets of conversation going on around me. Most students were out of their seats, leaning across aisles, laughing loudly. I sat amongst them, eyes downcast, thoughts drifting.

". . . It's not real," I overheard someone say in a gossiping tone. "I think that's obvious."

"But what do you—"

I dully doodled on the side of my page.

A hand slammed on top of my desk, startling me. I jumped, looking up to see someone I recognised by face only, smirking almost cruelly over his shoulder as he walked away.

Frowning to myself, I twisted the pen in my hand and dug the point of it into the table. When would class _end_?

"Does she know?" a snidely cool voice asked someone.

A loud snicker from the back of the classroom that obviously didn't belong to the other conversation.

All around me, havoc and noise and all I wanted to do was get out of here.

I spun in my seat, tuning my torso around in the direction beside me to look for someone.

He was there beside me, just out of my previous line of sight. I went to automatically smile at him, a habitual thing I did without thinking, but I realised he wasn't smiling back.

He didn't break his stride, he moved up until he was standing over me. I gave him a slightly confused look, wondering what was wrong with him.

"Hey," I said, patting Mike's empty seat with my hand. He sat down slowly, while I added my concerned, "Are you alright?" I dropped my pen onto the desk.

Edward looked into my eyes, and a small smile tugged up his face. "Of course," he assured me, smiling more fully now. Almost as if he had been since the beginning.

"It's really loud in here," I observed, looking around to see where the teacher had gotten to.

Edward nodded cautiously. "Yes. There's no one to control the flow of conversation. I don't understand how any of us are expected to pass out Bio exams."

I wrinkled my face. "Yeah. But I just do it at home—you know, all the work we _should_ be getting."

"Fair enough."

"So," I said, stretching my shoulders a bit. He looked well rested, his eyes sharper than normal, the green in them startling. "Where were you this morning?"

"Around," he answered, shrugging.

I nodded. Uh _huh_.

"So you're all set to leave tonight?" he said with total absorption on his face. He held contact with my eyes perfectly, like he was really interested with whatever I had to say.

"Mmm," I confirmed. "Alice is excited. Hey," I said suddenly, remembering. "Did you talk to Irina this morning?"

Edward raised his perfect brows. "Irina?" he repeated. "No."

"Oh."

"May I ask why you were wondering?"

I bit my lip. "No, it wasn't a big deal or anything, I just saw her this morning."

Another loud shout of a laugh sounded out, and I frowned, turning my face to see who had made it.

Edward grabbed hold of my hand.

My neck cracked as my eyes snapped to our laps. I looked back up, puzzled. "What?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing. Do I need an excuse to do this?" He allowed his fingers to brush a light path across the back of my hand. It felt funny.

I shrugged. "I suppose not."

"So do you want to—" But I heard a giggle again and I wasn't distracted this time as I turned to see what it was about. Edward didn't finish his sentence.

Both my eyes locked perfectly onto the small crowd that consisted of most of the class, clustered around a piece of paper on one of the far desks. They were laughing, pointing, chatting loudly to one another and curiosity got the better of me.

I stood to my feet, ignoring the tug on my hand as Edward kept a hold of it.

I looked down to him. "I want to see," I told him, taking a step towards them. His hand slid from mine, and I slowly walked up, frowning, trying to get a look at what had made them all converge.

I stepped in behind one of my classmates, trying to get a glimpse as I craned my neck.

All the blood rushed to my face, heating the skin from my neck up as the mortification almost incapacitated me.

The breath whooshed from my lungs, and I gaped, stunned and hurt and confused and embarrassed, until I felt a warm hand clasp my shoulder.

I turned into Edward.

I needed to get out. Now.

I strode by quickly, trying to keep my head low and be fast at the same time, not wanting anyone to really stare at me. All that mattered was that I needed to get out. Be out. Get away.

_Now_.

Screw the bloody teacher.

I held my breath, willing to stop the flow of tears that were threatening to escape as I scurried past the few remaining desks and crashed myself through the door.

I didn't even notice there were footsteps behind me, so concentrated I was on escaping and so in touch with the humiliation I was feeling.

I _did_ become aware as the clasped me from behind and tried to stop me.

I struggled pointlessly, gasping, wanting to get away. The last thing I wanted was to see his face. That really wouldn't help with the whole no-crying thing.

"Bella," he said, trying pointlessly to stop me walking. "Bella, listen to me, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry . . ."

And then I _did_ cry. A huge sob escaped my mouth as I crushed my mouth against it, but it sounded out in the empty halls anyway. The tears flowed, gushing miserably down my cheeks. I stopped squirming, going limp.

He finally managed to turn me around into the strong, tight safety of his arms.

"Bella, Bella, shhhh," he soothed into my hair, his arms holding me together. "It's okay, Bella. Everything will be okay."

I cried pathetically, resigned, giving up trying to hide this from him. From everyone.

Who would do something like that? Why would they do it? The absolute shock and hurt I felt was downright humiliating.

Edward held me to his chest protectively, murmuring his calming words as one of his hands brushed the back of my hair.

"Everything's alright," he whispered when my sobs were subsiding. I couldn't even look him in the eyes. Why was he even with me?

I turned, trying to hide my face, but he just held me tighter.

"You're not getting away from me," he told me decidedly, angling my face up to look at him. I tried pointlessly to avert my gaze, but he just stared at me till the point where it became ridiculous and I finally peeked up at him.

He looked . . . angry, underneath it all. But for the most he just seemed worried.

"Are you okay?" he asked, patting my back softly.

I tried to say yes, but it got stuck in my throat.

"Sorry," he said again, like it was his entire fault. "Sorry. Really."

I shook my head, mumbling something about how stupid I looked when I cried.

"Hey," he said, trying to pick my face up again, which had returned to the safe direction of the ground. "I told you it's okay. Just stop worrying. We'll make it okay, alright?"

He waited until I nodded with him.

"Good," he said, releasing his hold on me, all except one arm, which he kept securely around my waist. "I _am_ sorry you saw that."

"How long did you know?" I mumbled almost unintelligibly.

He was frowning, clearly upset. "Suspected it all morning. Only saw it this period."

I nodded numbly. "Do you know who . . .?"

He shook his head vehemently, his face darkening.

I sighed, groaning, rubbing my hand across my wet cheeks. "That is just so . . ." I didn't even know how to end the sentence.

"Come on," Edward coaxed, supporting me upright somewhat. "Let's go to my car. We can sit in there for a while, if you like."

I shook my head. "Alice will want to know where I am. How long till lunch?"

"A few minutes," he answered. "I just figured you might want to be out of the way before . . ."

Realisation dawned on me, and I looked up at him. "Yes, actually. Good idea. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," he assured me, walking me along. "I hope you're alright."

"Peachy," I mumbled.

He helped me along, almost like I wasn't actually capable of walking myself, and we mercifully made it to his car before the flood of students.

He opened his door for me, and I slipped inside, shutting it securely. He joined me a moment later from the driver's side.

I shut my eyes and leant my head against the side of the door.

"If you want, I can tell Alice were you are in a minute," Edward offered.

"Really? What will you say?"

"Well," he said, and his voice wasn't as light as normal. It sounded troubled. "I don't think I'll have to explain too much. Something like that . . . carries. She'll probably be aware."

"Oh," I said dully.

Of course. Something like _that_. God. I would never have thought I'd be on the receiving end of a poor, cruel joke like that. But Edward was right. Something like a fake, topless Photoshopped picture of me would spread around the school like wildfire.

"It's so _stupid_," I muttered. "I mean, what's even the point? Everyone would know it's fake. You'd have to be an idiot to believe I had boobs that big." Or that I looked like some sultry, slutty porn star.

"Don't worry about it," Edward said softly, patting my arm. "You're going to be gone the weekend, and it will all have died down by Monday."

"And for the rest of the day?"

"You can hang in here, if you want. Or I can take you home. I'll stay with you."

I cracked my lids open to stare at him sleepily. I was so exhausted. "Why would you do that?" I wondered softly.

"Because you're worth it," he replied simply. "You're worth an awful lot."

_**---**_

_**Siiiigh.**_

**x**


	17. Shielded and Protected

**Thank you, all my beautiful reviewers. Taking the time to tell me how you feel makes me so exceptionally happy. I want to give each of you your own Edward :)**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

17. Shielded and Protected

EPOV

I followed the line of the damp pavement up from the student lot, unable to smooth the crease that had formed in the crevice between my eyes.

_Alice_. I just needed to find Alice.

The anger I was feeling was slightly overpowered by my concern in the situation—but that didn't mean I wasn't furious. Humans could be cruel, and teenagers could do some really stupid stuff; I'd had my share of fucked up situations. But to do something that _low_ . . . The blood in my veins seemed to warm with my resentment. It was pathetic. Hurting someone as good as Bella Swan in such a weak way was unacceptable.

She's looked so defeated. I didn't like it. I could understand her hurt and embarrassment, but to look so lost wasn't _right_. This would be sorted. Of course it would be sorted. And it would blow over and would soon be a distant memory.

To everyone else, that is. But not for her. So it still wasn't good enough.

I needed to see some people. Sort something of my _own_ out.

Small droplets of rain fell softly from the sky as I made my way in strict determination to the main building. It was easy to ignore. My head was so filled with other preoccupations.

I tired to be subjective as I thought of the situation at hand, and it was highly difficult. I wondered if to someone else it would seem like such a big deal. I knew, was absolutely unendingly _positive_, that whoever had done this didn't mean it as a light joke, something that was supposed to be innocent humour. It had meant to embarrass. Be the cause for ridicule and mockery. What was stupid was that I couldn't understand how somebody _could_ find that funny.

I certainly didn't. I saw one glimpse of it and was disgusted. You couldn't try to portray somebody like Bella as anything but herself; nothing else fit.

I pushed through the doors and was met with not only a sharp blast of warm air from the overworked heaters, but also Jasper, who was standing a few metres away with a surprised look on his face as he stared at me in shock.

The shock lasted roughly three seconds. I was so caught up in my thoughts; I didn't even pause as I strode through the hall. Jasper took a large stride and was at my side.

"Wondered where you were," he muttered. I kept walking.

"Edward?" He said my name like he wanted a response. I stopped and looked towards him.

"Yeah?" I waited, anxious to get over what I was here to do, so I could hurry back to the girl waiting in my car.

His eyes raked over my face in a quick assessment, and his mouth pressed into a thin line. "How is she?" he asked.

I grimaced a little. "Alright, I guess. I've got to find Alice. I think I might be taking Bella home."

Jasper nodded, all serious. "Look, I feel bad—if there's a way I can help . . ."

I shook my head, dismissing his offer. "Thanks, but I really think she just wants it dropped. Have you seen Alice?"

He shook his head. "No, not today. I haven't been in the cafeteria yet, I was looking for you. Wonder who did it?"

I shrugged, not allowing myself to dwell on that matter at the present time. That would need my full attention, and I already had something else I needed to do.

"I might see you later on," I told him, beginning to walk away again. "You've got to come round this weekend, anyway."

"Yeah, okay," Jasper agreed, and the last expression his face held before I turned around completely was a troubled one.

I entered the cafeteria with a clear head. I was already scanning the room for her, when my eyes caught something else.

I had told myself previously to leave it. Ignore it. Come back to it later, because it wasn't something particularly nice.

All those decisions flew right out the window when I registered what I was seeing. Anger clouded my focus, and I walked right up to them, ready to voice the disbelief I felt at their actions. All around the cafeteria was the same picture, duplicated over and over, stuck to the walls, in the possessive fists of energised students, scattered sloppily across the floor in streaks of her face. And on that one table—_my_ table—was countless copies of it, with everyone surrounding it and obviously discussing it rather raucously.

My appearance gave each of them different reactions as they stopped in surprise.

Tanya—who was sitting in the centre by the table— took one look at my face, saw the distrust there, and straightened up impressively, keeping her chin high in the air as she swished her long locks over her shoulder.

Simon laughed right out, snickering, burying his face in Irina's shoulder, who was by his side, grasping his hand, eyeing me openly with a light, simpering smile. Kate flickered her gaze between me and the table filled with people, face blank. Laurent was scribbling something in permanent marker on the tabletop, eyes at his work, but his own grin, impossibly large, spread across his dropped head. Two people who I didn't even know the names of were sitting tightly, looking uncomfortable as their frozen eyes locked with my angry ones, like deer caught in headlights. I'd seen them in fits of laughter not five seconds ago.

And James . . .

Fuck James. He was leaning so far back in his chair I was half expecting him to go sprawling. What bothered me was his smirk; his cocky, slimy, shit's-good smirk that lit up his face and creased the skin around his black eyes. It was a filthy smirk that went with his blasé appearance.

"Edward," he greeted in a grand, lazy way. He lifted his arms behind him and crossed them behind his neck to lean his head against them. He nodded once to the picture closest to him on the table, and his eyes shone briefly with amusement. "Would you look at that, huh?" he drawled. "Who would've guessed she kept all that underneath her clothes? And you seriously had a chance to fuck her . . . At least everyone else around us seems to be enjoying her." He shook his head, flicking his tongue out to trace around the curve of his lower lip, smiling.

"Just shut the _fuck_ up, James," I said in a disbelieving tone. Before I could continue on what probably be a longwinded, many-expletives-present, heated exchange, Tanya interrupted me.

"Oh, come on," she said, looking at me with her whole proud stature. "You're here about the girl, aren't you? What _happened_ to you? Why can't you just laugh about it? You're so touchy lately." She huffed, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. She tapped a perfectly manicured nail onto one of the copies. "Any idiot would know it's fake. That girl has not tits at all. She should be flattered that some of the lamest of us think it's real." Tanya gave a pointed look over to a table filled with guys with bad acne, greasy hair, and a habit of playing grotesquely with their food.

"You did it, didn't you?" I demanded in a quieter tone. "Of course you did it. Just because you can't handle someone being better than you, you decided to take it out on her. And she _is_ better. You know it. Why?"

She looked at me coolly. "You give yourself way too much credit," she snapped. "Bella, too. Why would either of you be important enough for me to go to this amount of trouble?"

Irina giggled. The sound reverberated in my ears and annoyed the hell out of me.

"Because you can't handle competition of any form," I snapped back. "The moment you see someone as a potential threat, you like to get rid of them. You don't think I like her just for her company?" I hadn't mentioned the party, and as pissed and angry as I was, I wasn't as low as to humiliate her back the same way she had with Bella. I wasn't going to bother. Just like I would never bring up anything private to do with our relationship when we were together. "You're angry at _me_, so it's useless trying to take it out on her."

Simon sighed loudly. "Ed, the girl looks a babe in it. What's the big deal?"

Irina flicked him on the side of his chin for the comment. "Excuse me? She does _not_. It isn't real, remember?" She pouted, and then twisted her lips together. "Hey, I talked to her today, _Edward_." When she said my name, she giggled. "I told you I'd agree to be nice. She had no idea that this was even out yet, though, the poor thing. I figured, if she had, then she'd probably look retarded. _Oh_! You were there in Bio when it happened, weren't you?! Oh my God, did she go all red?"

And GOD I couldn't stand that girl. I was almost relieved for the interruption. I didn't pride myself in talking rudely to girls, but the way she kept flicking her hair and moving her lips, I felt like . . .

"Edward!" A comforting voice called. Alice came running up to me, face white and eyes already assessing me for signs that could give away the state of her best friend.

She stopped in front of me, looking up at my face. "Where is she? Is she alright?" she demanded breathlessly, grabbing my forearms in her firm grasp. She didn't wait for an answer. "I saw third period and I kept trying to find her, and I've been telling everyone to get them _down_, and to chuck them out, but there's so many of them and—"

"Why would we want them down?" James said loudly. "We were just discussing how amusing they are."

Alice broke off, her eyes freezing over. She turned slowly to glare with the force of a destroying angel at the goading man, the protectiveness that came with strong friendship ever present. Probably didn't realise they were there, I figured dully, distracted by the fierceness in her expression.

"Would you just shut up, James," she snapped. "No one cares about you at all so I don't get why you think we all want to hear your voice."

She turned back to me, her small eyes searching my face. "Where is she?"

"Bitch," someone with the voice scarily familiar to Irina's mumbled out.

I might have stepped in on Alice's behalf, but she seemed well in control of handling it. As it where, I was pretty sure I took a step back when I saw her face.

Alice rolled her eyes at me, seeming to focus on taking a deep breath. She turned back to the table filled with miscreants and stopped her eyes on the girl who was leaning into her current boyfriend, and apparently enjoying her reaction.

"Ooops," Irina giggled. In a low whisper that carried, she mumbled, "Did the little girl hear me?"

"You know, Irina, darling," Alice began loudly. "I may be small, but I bet you if I slapped you across the face, you wouldn't be laughing about it."

"Aren't you cute," she laughed, leaning into Simon's side. She winked, and then turned her face to kiss Simon's shoulder.

Alice didn't really seem to be fussed. She shrugged carelessly, and smiled rather sweetly. "Okay, then," she said, as if she'd just decided something. "Hey, Tanya?"

Tanya had been staring pointedly at the side of Irina's head, and she reluctantly flicked her gaze to Alice. Her eyebrows rose arrogantly.

"_What_?" she asked, jutting her chin out as she spoke.

"You remember when you went out with Cody Mier all those years ago? And you were always flaunting him off, and laughing loudly as you walked with him, and shoving your tongue down his throat any chance you got . . . Well, I thought you should know that at the same time all that was happening, Irina was fucking him, too. How's that for a confession?"

Tanya froze, her mouth opening a little in shock, and snapped her attention back to Irina.

"Are you serious?" she demanded in a slight shriek. The sound carried. I was pretty sure we had half the cafeteria listening in. I was dimly surprised too.

Irina looked a little guilty for a second, wrinkling her nose in distaste. Then she looked at her best friend over her shoulder detractingly. "Uh . . . Does it _matter_?" she asked.

"Yes, it does," Tanya managed so slide out between her clenched teeth.

"The hell it does!" Irina rolled her eyes dramatically. "It wasn't like you cared about him at all . . . Anyway, he said he liked _me_ better. I guess I did you a favour."

"Whatever," Tanya muttered. "You're the idiot that believed him."

Irina gaped liked she'd been mortally offended. "I am _not_ an idiot." She turned to Simon. "Tell her!"

Simon shrugged. "I'm staying out of this."

Tanya whipped around to Kate, who was sitting there, basically minding her own business. "Did you know about this?" she demanded.

Kate looked at her sister. "If I'd told you, you wouldn't have believed me," she said sourly. "What strong ties the bonds of sisterhood have, huh?"

I turned back to Alice, tuning out the chaos behind us. "Nice work," I muttered appreciatively.

She grinned. "I've been wanting to say that for so long." She got serious again, a look of concern flashing across her features. "And Bella?"

I made sure to pitch my voice low so it wouldn't carry. There were many in the room who were staring openly at the display before them. It wasn't everyday that our group held this amount of discord. Still, they seemed to have forgotten the pictures of Bella they were so keenly gossiping and snickering over before. At least that was something.

"She's in my car," I told her quietly. "I'm here to tell you that she's fine and I'm going to stay with her for a while—I'll probably take her home." I paused. "Or would you like to be there?" Was I interfering with a friendship that clearly took priority?

Alice gave me a small smile. It held an undercurrent of understanding. "Actually, I think you're doing a fantastic job of handling this," she murmured to me. "I wouldn't want to interfere. If you're sure she's alright, then I'm fine with it. Tell her I'll see her tonight, okay? I'll stay behind and get rid of these." She jerked her head to the floor behind her where a scattered pile of the pictures where spread out sloppily.

I nodded, running a hand through my hair as I exhaled. "Thank you," I said, really meaning it. "You really get her. Bella, I mean. She's lucky to have you."

Alice's smile softened and she punched my playfully on the arm. "I can be serious, in times of need," she sniffed. "But, ah, I'd say she's pretty lucky to have you, too. Or maybe the pair of us is lucky to have _her_. She's special." She shook her head, as if clearing it. "Now, off you go, okay? It's not good to leave her alone too long. Fragile self esteem grows in solitariness." She fluttered her hand, indicating for me to go.

"One more thing," I said, and turned back to Tanya.

She was glaring. Particularly at her former best friend, but it seemed she somehow came to the conclusion that it was fitting I pinpointed the blame a little too.

"You're going to stay away from her," I warned. "I don't want you to go anywhere near Bella, okay?"

She cocked her head to the side. "Oh. You still think I did that?" Bitterness I'd never heard in her voice made it sound so sharp. She seemed completely different, a whole new person at the moment with the resentment filling her system. She held up one of the copies and stared at it objectively. "Well, you know, perhaps I'm flattered. Whoever did this did a really good job. I wish I _had_ thought of doing it." She threw it to the ground.

Was she serious? I stared at her, trying to force the truth from her hate filled, fierce eyes. "If you didn't do it, then who did?"

Then she smiled. She smiled sweetly, a sickly sweet, and shrugged airily. "Who knows?" she asked rhetorically. Her hair fell in her eyes and she brushed it back softly. "I'll certainly congratulate them when I find out."

"No, you're going to drop this immediately," I corrected. "None of you"—I turned and rested my eyes on all of them in turn, and they stopped and listened—"are going to bring this up again. I won't let any of you hurt her."

James snorted loudly as I turned to leave. Out of all of them, he seemed to be the one the least affected by my words.

---

BPOV

I stared dully out of the windscreen; I didn't pay much attention to what was there. Apart from the thoughts filling my head, the droplets of water that ran smoothly down the cold glass offered a distraction, too.

I sat, waiting, numb and exhausted. I felt worn-out. How pathetic was that? I didn't bother trying to hide it; I had no audience to notice at the moment anyway. But when Edward came back, I probably wouldn't bother with a pretence either. He'd already seen me at my worst today. What did it really matter? He could see through me easily.

He'd been gone a while when he finally returned—I'd lost count of how many streaks of water had run their race down the windshield.

He opened his door gracefully, sliding in with ease, and wasted no time in shutting it from the downpour that was steadily increasing. He turned to look me over.

"Come on," he sighed, grabbing his keys in his fist and shoving them into the ignition. Swiftly, he turned his car on and made sure the heater was flicked on high.

I small crease formed on my forehead.

"Alice?" I asked, wondering what had happened.

Edward sighed again and leant across towards me. I reacted instinctively, curling my shoulders inward a little at his proximity, but he reached across for my seatbelt and pulled it across to buckle me in.

"Alice knows," he informed me, leaning back and switching his car into reverse. "I'm taking you home."

I sat up a little straighter at that. "What? Why?"

He seemed confused. Slowly peeling his car out of the parking lot, he answered me with a serious expression. "Do you really want to go back to class?"

"No," I muttered, trying not to think of how wonderful _that_ would be. "But, Edward, I _really_ don't want to go home." I placed my hand on his arm that was clutching the steering wheel, trying to convey as fully as possible that I meant it.

He looked down at me. "Why? Would you prefer Alice came?"

I shook my head, waving away his silly worries. "No, Edward. God. You're fine. I just . . ." I squirmed in my seat, unable to finish the sentence. I really wish he could just understand. Not that I expected him to, but it was nice to wish.

He seemed to be debating something as he looked me over as carefully as he could whilst driving. He seemed to come to some sort of conclusion; I watched from the corner of my eyes as his lips tightened with his decision.

"Okay," he said slowly. "Fine. You can come to mine." He shrugged, as if he could shake off his confusion at my objection.

I relaxed a little. "Yeah? Alright."

It was silent in the car for a while, the occasional squeak of the windshield wipers interrupting sporadically.

Half of me wanted to know really badly what had happened when he spoke to Alice, and what had taken him so long. But a part of me was scared, and I figured it was best to bite my tongue, and thus bite down on my curiosity.

"Feel better?" Edward asked, his voice laced with genuine concern as we drove through the endless rain.

"Yep," I affirmed. "I think I want to lie down though. I'm going to be on the plane tonight," I explained. "Brilliant," I muttered, thinking about it. "I hate plane trips."

"Scared of heights?"

I snorted. "No. I just hate the hubbub. I guess it'd be good to get away though." I stretched my arms up, cracking my spine as I did so.

"Well, I'll miss you. I know it's just for two days, but you should bring me back a souvenir."

I rolled my eyes.

We made it to his house. It was the second time I had arrived at its huge front door, and I wasn't any more prepared for it. It was almost like a reminder, the huge house flaunting itself at me. A reminder of how different Edward and I were in so many different ways.

"Hey," I said as we got out of the car he'd parked in the cavernous garage. "Why didn't Emmett and why don't you, go to a private school?" Was it polite to ask something like that? I wondered.

Too late, anyway.

Edward shrugged, unfazed. "We didn't really want to. Emmett had chosen to go to Forks anyway, before me, and it just made sense I'd go somewhere close by anyway, too."

I nodded. Oh.

We went through a different door than the front; this one was much better proportioned, leading off from the garage into some sort of room in the house. Edward held the door aside for me as I stumbled my way in, and he lead the way, past the kitchen with its shiny surfaces and clean bench tops; passed the lounge with its huge television screen and private bar; passed the formal dining room that looked like it had never been used.

We reached the entryway, the room directly right from the front door, containing the staircase that led upstairs.

Edward nodded his head at me when I paused, looking for confirmation, and I traipsed up the stairs slowly, hearing him ascend behind me.

"Just there, to the left," he pointed the way out to me, and I followed his directions into a bedroom.

_The_ bedroom.

His bedroom.

I stopped the same time I started.

He came up behind me, completely relaxed.

"This is my bedroom," he said unnecessarily. I already knew immediately where we were. "You said you wanted to lie down? I can get you another pillow, if you want."

I looked up at him, my arms crossed over my chest protectively.

"Oh, um, okay," I said. I looked to the floor, unable to really look him straight in the eye for long.

"Oh. Did you want something else? A drink? Sorry I didn't offer anything before when we were in the kitchen. I can get it for you, though," he said, shoving his hands in his front pockets, shrugging. "You can eat in here, it doesn't really matter. You can do anything in here really." He grinned.

I swallowed. "Mmm. Um, okay. I'm fine, though, really. Thanks. For everything, I mean."

He looked at me, probably wondering why I was sounding so retarded.

"Ah," he said, clearing his throat suddenly. He shifted his feet, looking at me sheepishly. "Sorry—I didn't think. Would you like it better if you used the guest room? I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

I forced a smile. "I know you didn't. And I _am_ fine." Hell if I was going to take up that offer. Things were awkward enough as they were without me seeming so bloody precious.

His room was fairly normal. I didn't know what I had been expecting, though. Why should it be any different? I mean, it was certainly larger than average—and thus had more things in it—and the view was spectacular, and the window that captured it was gigantic, and the carpet was so thick and soft it was giving my feet a massage just by standing on it. I supposed the extensive music collection and high tech computer, stereo and flat screen were fairly impressive as well.

Crap.

But . . . It wasn't _that_ . . . abnormal.

He looked at my slyly. "Yeah?" he checked. He nodded over to his huge bed. "You can use it then, you know."

I looked up to him and his amused expression, sighing internally to myself at my stupidness. Without hesitating, making sure I was quick about it, I marched strictly over to his bed, perching on the edge of it carefully and precariously, spacing my legs out on the floor below evenly.

I looked back to him.

He was standing by the door, looking like he was trying to fight off a smile. He crossed his arms across his chest. "Brilliant," he nodded, tightening his mouth.

"You gonna laugh at me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him, folding my hands neatly atop my lap.

He shook his head vehemately. "No," he insisted, the corner of his mouth twitching. "Not at you. Maybe at the way you're acting." He couldn't hold it in any longer—his face spread into a wide, inviting grin. "You don't have to treat my furniture like it's going to break under your weight. It's a bed, for Christ's sake." He laughed, looking off to the left.

I frowned. "So-_rry_," I mumbled. I crawled ungracefully until I was sitting more centred on the bed. "I just . . . I don't want to _ruin_ anything. And you don't have to stand there and stare at me from across the room. That isn't exactly helping." I crossed my arms defiantly, kneeling on his soft bed.

"I'm sorry," he said, rolling his eyes. He made his way over to the bed and sat down on the opposite side from me.

"Where's Emmett?" I wondered, realising I hadn't spotted his older brother as we'd traipsed through the house.

He shrugged, seeming unfazed. "Out somewhere. I don't know."

"Hmm." That meant we were alone. Together. In a big empty house. I quickly tried to change the subject. "You have a nice room," I offered politely. The words seemed inadequate.

Edward smiled. "Glad you like it," he said.

We stared at each other wordlessly for a moment. I wanted to know what he was thinking as he looked at me. What thoughts were running through his head?

He sighed, grinning as he looked down, breaking our eye contact. He stayed like that for a minute until he abruptly looked back up, his eyes appraising my face, smile gone. There seemed to be a shadow looming in the depths of his eyes.

"Look, Bella, I know you probably don't want it brought up again, and I know I've said it a lot, but I am really sorry about what happened today."

"Oh," I said quietly. Louder, I assured him. "It's okay."

"I should've told you," he insisted.

I looked at him, at the worry evident on his face, and unconsciously shifted closer to him. "It's not your fault."

He grimaced a little. "I just wanted to keep you from it. Which is stupid. You would've found out one way or the other." Suddenly, he confessed to me, "I don't think Tanya did it."

I stared at him in surprise. "What?" I said weakly. "You think Tanya did it?"

"Thought," he corrected. "But I really think she was telling the truth when she denied it. I blamed her right out."

I bit my lip. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. I exhaled, staring up at the ceiling. "I can't stop creating all these problems between you and your friends." Was I just in the way of everything? It seemed I caused him a lot more problems than anything else. Today was the perfect example.

I was surprised to hear that his next words sounded angry. "Why do you think that's your fault?"

I snapped my attention back to him, shocked.

"I—I don't know," I muttered. "It's just everything was fine before and now you keep getting into fights with them."

His green eyes seemed troubled. "They had it coming," he stated, shrugging it off as nothing. "They're all being assholes at the moment and _I_ should be the one apologizing to _you_. They've been horrible to you, and you've done nothing wrong at all. I'm still trying to understand why you still have no problem hanging around me when I've demonstrated how awful my friends can be." He frowned, peering at me intently. "Do you ever feel like you put too much trust into your friends?"

He looked so vulnerable. He was completely open to me, eyes gazing steadily into mine, as we each tried to see where the other was coming from. Not just see, but _understand_. The energy between us was thick, palpable, pushing us together, our minds connecting in a strange way.

It was too much.

I swallowed. Slowly, I closed my eyes, trying to fight off the connection, feeling like it would rob me of all my secrets I wasn't ready to share.

"Bella?" Edward was immediately next to me—I felt the bed react to his shifted weight—hands brushing my arms in comfort.

I opened them, forcing myself to smile at him as naturally as possible. His face was so _close_. I was fighting to get a grip on myself.

I nodded, lost in his eyes, highly aware that my smile was using all the wrong muscles. "Yeah," I whispered, feeling a lone tear slip from the corner of my eye, escaping, my emotions trying to break free. It wasn't a big deal—I'd cried so hard earlier, I felt like anything would make me emotional. I was quick to brush it away. "I know exactly what you mean."

Sitting opposite me, our knees touching, Edward's troubled face tried furiously to unlock what I wasn't saying. He really was beautiful. Even in the electric light needed because of the gloom of the day, it was impossible not to notice.

"You tell me?" he asked gently.

I shook my head. "No, it's stupid. I've just had some problems with my friends before, that's all."

"Stupid enough to make you cry?" he said sceptically.

I shot him a dirty look. "I'm not _crying_," I muttered, defensive and adamant I was telling the truth. "You've seen what I look like crying today already, okay? That wasn't crying. That was old frustration leaking through. Don't I sound fine to you?"

He basically ignored what I said. "I really wish you'd tell me, but I guess I can't complain. You've opened up a lot to me already."

I softened my expression. "Seriously," I assured him. "It was just putting the wrong trust into the wrong people. That was all. I don't really get emotional about it anymore, actually. It's just when you're around for some reason . . ." I let out a shaky laugh, wishing I could shut up but knowing I really couldn't. ". . . I get all . . . weird again. It's sort of like you open up something inside me that just makes me want to blurt everything out to you and I feel . . . robbed? Like I can't hide anything from you. It makes me want to hold back on some stuff."

And I just did it again—blurted everything out.

He smiled, seemingly pleased. He looked up at me from underneath his lashes, and said quietly, "I think you should get some sleep. You look scarily pale, and I'm getting worried."

I clicked my tongue, exhaling loudly. "Okay," I murmured to myself. "Way to tell me to shut up."

He laughed, edging back off the bed. "No, you know that's not what I'm doing. My favourite thing in the world at the moment is listening to you talk freely, without barriers. I just don't want you going loopy from lethargy later on. I promised to look after you."

I nodded, silently snaking a sarcastic remark to Alice in my head. "I feel heaps better already."

"And I'm glad,' he said. "Especially because I got an excuse to get off school. Fantastic."

I laughed.

"Sleep," he repeated forcefully, but still with amusement. "Call for me if you need anything, okay?"

I muttered my confirmation, kicking my shoes off and twisting around to be able to lie down on the bed properly.

Edward smiled a last parting smile at me, and slipped from the room, closing it softly behind him. Secretly, a part of me was glad for the alone time. I needed to sort a few things straight in my head.

The most pressing?

I was in Edward _freaking_ Cullen's bedroom. I took a deep breath.

Things had really changed. He wasn't some over popular, arrogant jerk who lived off excess attention and was miles away from my reach anymore. He was . . . nice. And friendly. And _was_ my friend.

I sighed. But still scarily popular. And in some respects miles away from my form of reality.

I relaxed back onto his bed, knowing from the empty bedside table next to my head I was lying on the unused side of the bed. The pillow was soft and plumped nicely, and I couldn't help but think of him when he was sleeping in the same spot as me. He suddenly didn't seem so far away anymore. He seemed frighteningly real and close. Close, with his car and his house and his bedroom and bed, with its clean sheets and soft pillows and fabrics, smelling like he did when he held me close . . . All his possessions and things that made him _real_.

I closed my eyes and was asleep before I even released I was getting close to slumber.

**------------**

"Wake up, Bella," Alice hissed at me, poking me in the side.

Still holding onto unconsciousness, I blindly swatted my arm in the direction the contact had come from, and furrowed my eyes closed deeper against interruption.

I couldn't close my ears, though. I heard her sigh loudly next to me, and right before I could tell her to shut up, the intercom switched on and a cool female voice informed the cabin at large that we'd be landing in a few minutes.

The dull sounds of the flight were oddly lulling, and we were lucky this time, in that the passengers close to us seemed to be pacified with quiet conversations, reading and—like me—sleeping. It was fantastic that I hadn't been seated next to a rowdy family with triplets.

I groaned when the announcement finished.

"See?" Alice said. "We're almost there. You need to wake _up_." She shoved me on the last word, not hard, but it made me snap my eyes open in attention.

"I'm awake," I mumbled, stretching my stiff shoulders quickly, and blinking sleepily over to my friend.

She grinned at me, tugging her earphones out of her ear so she could stash her ipod back in her pocket. "It looks like it, too." She reached and arm out and tried uselessly to smooth the kink that had formed in my hair. I scowled until she dropped her hand in defeat. "Are you excited?" she asked me intently.

"Err . . . Wary, actually."

Alice rolled her eyes. "It'll be good seeing Renee again. I've only met her twice."

"And she already loves you," I added for convenience.

The landing was smooth, with little turbulence. As soon as we were rushed off the plane, and went through the terminals, things seemed to hit a fast-forward button, and I could hardly come to terms with what was happening. It was like I was in one of those strange dreams where you're there physically, but your mind seems detached from your body. I couldn't pay proper attention to everything that was happening. I noticed odd things instead, like the lady sitting by herself on the hard blue chairs, donning a neat business suit and a carefully constructed hairstyle—only her age and expression didn't match her outfit. Was she flying away or towards home? Was she anxious, sad or worried? What made her look so lost? And there was the young boy, running across the floor that kept meeting up with him every time he tripped up and went sprawling, only to get back up persistently to run some more. Was his family nearby?

These strange things seemed to capture my attention while Alice pulled me along, chattering animatedly as I noticed how bright the lights were and how I was going to be met up with nice warm weather tomorrow when I woke up.

We were waiting for our luggage. I shouldn't have been worried—and of course I wasn't, I was too caught up with silly preoccupations as the voices in the open space rang in my ears. But worrying was useless anyway, with a best friend like mine who was excellent with her organizational skills and somehow managed to have the two suitcases—hers noticeably larger than mine, but not excessively so—situated in front of us.

Edward had been the one to wake me earlier on at his place. His soft hand had brushed across my cheek and I'd been slow to open my eyes, not used to such a gentle awakening. His face was there when I did, smiling calmly at me, and once again I was wondering how things had ended up turning out this way, with me at his house, on his bed.

He'd walked me through everything, directing what I do in a manner that was actually rather sweet, instead of demanding or annoying. He showed me his bathroom, encouraging me to wash my face because it would probably feel beneficial—apologizing that I didn't have enough time for a shower. I'd almost gagged when I spotted my face in his huge mirror—it was pink still, the remains of a strong crying fit, and my hair was everywhere, that sleepy look dominating my eyes.

And I couldn't even feel embarrassed. He didn't seem to see anything wrong at all.

He gave me something to eat, insisting I would regret it later if I didn't eat _something_ before dinner at my mum's, and I sat there, bemused, watching him in the kitchen from my stool at the bench.

"I promise everything will be better when you get back—you'll have a great time. Say hi to your mum for me, won't you?" he'd asked.

It was actually weird realising that this weekend would be the first time that I—and hopefully my thoughts—would be away from him since he meant something to me. Perhaps it would be refreshing—not that it was necessarily something I felt like I needed.

I didn't even comprehend I was wheeling my luggage through a busy room with Alice by my side until she spoke up with glee.

"Bella!" she sang. "Isn't that your mother there?"

I focused in on her arm, which was pointing through a see of unknown faces and landing right where an average woman with short brown hair was standing, smiling, her arm around the waist of a middle-aged man dressed casually.

As soon as she said it, Renee opened her arms in greeting.

"Bella! Oh my, it's so good to see you!"

---

**I went through pure hell to get this up for you. A little lame, yes, maybe, I don't know . . . Gah, I'm tired. Drop me some love :D**


	18. Welcome Home

_**SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS.**_

**This is dedicated to AidenSmith for her awesomeness and pure lovliness, and also to madikateco for baking me various cakes. I apologize I couldn't give you a better chapter.**

18. Welcome Home

The trip from the airport to my old home was free from peril and was instead filled with yawns, really lame jokes and mismatched conversation. Phil had driven, with Alice sitting up front with him. Renee had surprised me by sliding into the backseat with me, all smiles and gushes of excitement. "How was the flight?" she'd asked me intently, and thrown in with the same breath, "I've missed you so much, just look at you! You're so beautiful, baby. How's Charlie?" She held my hand in hers fondly as I tried my best to answer all of her questions.

The immediate thing I'd noticed besides my mother's new haircut—she'd cropped it short—was the sweltering heat that welcomed me back like an old friend. Even at dusk, it was hot. And so very humid. I'd removed my jacket immediately and sat in the car in my singlet, looking out the open window at the sunset when I got the chance, enjoying the wind that whipped my hair around in a frenzy and cooled my face.

When we reached Renee's, Phil dutifully hauled our luggage upstairs—giving a wink to Alice as he took over her pathetic attempts at lifting her suitcase—and we'd enjoyed a lazy meal in the seldom-filled, moderately-sized kitchen. It was . . . nice. I'd been hesitant at first, what with Renee's former attempts at cooking, but before I'd even opened my mouth, she'd assured everyone that some of it was take-in, and then rest Phil had made himself.

Phil. He was a fairly good cook, I came to conclude. Not only that, but he and my mother still seemed just as happy together as they had been when I left them. He still brushed her arm unthinkingly whenever he passed her, and she still smiled at him with obvious adoration. In fact, he was such a good guy, he and Alice seemed to have hit it off straight after her introduction of herself.

"Hey," she'd grinned up at him while I watched on from the embrace of Renee's arms. "We haven't met before because you were out last time I was down. I'm Alice, I'm totally awesome, fun, filled with laughs, Bella's very best friend in the entire world, and the future wife of Jasper Whitlock, who is a fine man. It's a shame you don't know him, because you'd probably get along with him—he gets along with everyone."

How could anyone turn down that?

Dinner wound up soon after the food was eaten up, and the meal mixed with the heat made us all slump with exhaustion in our seats. All the windows in the house were open, but it was still oddly stuffy indoors.

"Well I'm beat," Alice declared after her chair had been pushed in, stretching her arms in the air. "It's sure hot, isn't it?"

"It takes some time getting used to, kid," Phil explained, while Renee gave my friend a warm smile, already starting up on the dishes.

"You should get ready for bed," I told her, nodding in the direction of the stairs. "You remember where my room is?"

"Of course," Alice chirped. "It's not like this house is huge or anything. Oh!" She looked on in worry to both adults. "I didn't mean it to sound that way. Your house is beautiful. Really beautiful. I like the candles."

Phil laughed.

Alice skipped off upstairs after saying goodnight and thanking my mum for having us. Phil mumbled something about a game that was on television and slinked away, so pretty soon it was just me and my mother.

I helped her with the dishes. We worked in companionable silence for a few minutes, until Renee couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Really, Bella!" She grinned my way as she passed me a bowl and I took it, drying it carefully. "I am _so_ happy to see you. It was just perfect timing. I have so much to tell you."

I smiled calmly, eyes on my work. "You going to spill?"

She swatted me playfully, but didn't need much prompting to begin. "Do you know that I was considering coming up there to see you myself?"

I shook my head, surprised to hear that. Renee didn't like moving around too much.

She nodded. "Really, Phil would have come too. I just needed to see my girl. I miss you. And don't worry!" she added quickly when she saw me glance at her wearily. "I'm not going to start. The last thing I want is for you to feel guilty and ruin your time here. I promise when I say things like that I'm simply saying it so you know how I feel. I don't think sometimes when I speak to you, and it comes out rather forcefully." She changed the subject quickly. "You know, I've had a tough run at the kindergarten lately," she told me conversationally. "Half my kids have come down with the chicken-pox, the virus is spreading so quickly. It's been pandemonic."

I could just imagine. "They're alright though?" I wondered.

"Oh, yes, they're all fine. Could you pass me that cloth?"

I handed it to her and really looked at her face, to the clear blue eyes and the soft skin. "I've missed you too," I told her truthfully. "And mum? I'm really glad we came down."

Renee smiled at me, really smiled, and leant over to press her lips to my sticky forehead. She straightened up and asked cheerfully, "What have you girls got planned for your weekend?"

I thought back to the brief conversations I'd had with Alice, and had no trouble remembering her forceful nature as she'd declared her demands.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure Alice knows. We'll be going to the beach tomorrow, that's a definite. She's really keen on that one."

"She's such a nice girl," Renee fussed.

I laughed. "Well, she's certainly smart. Saturday night it totally free from plans, and so is Sunday. I think she's thought through and decided we need some family time."

"What's Alice up to these days anyway?"

"Stalking her fiancé," I mumbled, and then amended clearly, "Work takes up a bit of her spare time. Her apprenticeship is working really well for her because it is part-time and allows her to finish her schooling. Actually, I get the impression she's friends with her boss. They way she talks about her… She's given a lot of free rein, which lets her creativity flow."

"That's a good thing, too… Now tell me…"

I waited, raising my eyebrows. "Yes?"

Renee looked at me sideways, smirking. "Are you kissing any boys?" she demanded. "Well, cute boys. I don't want to know about the others."

I snorted, having thought she was going to be asking me something relatively serious. "No," I said, and then repeated it when she looked doubtful. "No, really."

She still didn't look convinced. "What's wrong with them?" she wondered aloud, and then a blank expression fell across her face. "Or is it you?" she said slowly. "_Ah_… Got your eye on somebody, huh? Someone I should know about?"

"No again," I said, and then laughed at the absurdity of it. Were all mothers this persistent to get into their daughter's personal lives?

"Darn it," Renee muttered. "I was hoping for some good gossip."

Childishly, I stuck my tongue out at her, and finished off drying the last dish. "You can go snoop into someone else's personal life then. I'm so sorry to disappoint."

Renee enveloped me in a brief hug—and it had to be brief. The heat made it unfeasible to be lengthy.

"I'd love to stay with you forever, but you need rest young lady. Look at your eyes! You need to be up and perky for the morning. Go to bed," she ordered, swivelling me around in the right direction. "_You_ haven't forgotten where you sleep now, have you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Night, Mum," I muttered, and she squeezed my shoulder before I went off to my old room upstairs.

Alice had waited up.

"Howdy," she greeted me when I walked through the door. She was perched on the end of the spare bed, towelling off her wet, spiky hair.

My bedroom had stayed much the same since I'd left it. I was not a particularly messy person, so the neatness of it didn't look entirely wrong. The walls were still a pale blue, and the ornaments on my dresser were still in the same spot. The only thing that had changed was the extra bed that was now there, for convenience purposes.

I came in further and sat down on my own bed. "Feel better?" I asked.

"Loads," Alice replied, grinning at me. "The shower was heavenly." She perked her head to the side thoughtfully. "You happy we're here?"

I nodded truthfully, looking down to the carpeted floor and thinking back to my previous feelings on the visit. "Yeah, actually," I murmured, glancing back up sharply. "I'm really glad. Guess you were right."

Alice laughed. "Of course I was," she said lightly, and then added, "And you're feeling better about what happened today?"

Nice. I rolled my eyes dramatically.

"Well I'm sorry to bring it up!" she said reproachfully. "But I just wanted to be sure. After tonight, there's no more moping about the business. This weekend in going to be gloriously fun and wonderfully sun-filled. Who knows? I may be a taken woman, but we could meet some really cute boys."

"Al," I began. "This place may be fairly foreign to you, but I grew up here. Please spare me the matchmaking service. And _taken_?"

"Yes," she snapped playfully. "_Taken_. He just doesn't know it yet."

We leant into each other and laughed. It really was a hopelessly silly situation.

"_Really_," I emphasised when our giggles had died down. "I don't get why you don't just tell him how you feel. You could spare him the 'I love you, you are my one true soul mate and I want to have lots of babies with you' version and just settle on asking him out."

She gave me a disparaging look. "Coming from the lady who is too chicken shit to even admit she likes a certain someone."

My brow crumpled immediately and all traces of former amusement faded instantly.

"I do not like him!" I insisted, frowning. "Why does everyone think I like him?!"

I watched in stunned silence as Alice's face melted into a victorious grin. It was the sort of smile you'd give when you caught someone doing something they probably shouldn't be doing.

"A_ha_," she exclaimed. "You immediate jumped to the conclusion I was referring to _Edward_, didn't you?" Her smile was totally angelic and evil at once. "I _knew_ it!"

"Knew what?'

"That you like him! Come on, it's so _obvious_."

I opened my mouth a few times, floundering around in my head for the appropriate response that would clear her ridiculous suggestion off the table, once and for all. Her expression didn't help the floundering.

Finally, I was able to deliver my feeble reply. "If I liked him that way, Alice, you don't think I would tell you?" I let the hurt flood into my voice.

"I know you wouldn't," she said, not buying any of it. "You wouldn't even admit it to yourself, because you are the most stubborn being in the entire world!"

I rolled my eyes. "You are being silly," I told her. "And how does this relate to the Jasper matter?"

Alice made a content noise in the back of her throat at the sound of his name coming from my lips. "Because they're best friends. Let's just say I believe you on your whole 'I totally don't dig Edward Cullen even though he's smokin' and single and we're just friends' thing, okay?" The way her face twisted when she said this told me she did not believe it at all. "If that's true, it's a massive shame. Can you imagine how perfect the scenario would be? I would be with Jasper, you would be with Edward, Edward and Jasper are best friends, you and I are best friends!" She seemed ready to burst. "We could have the most amazing double dates in the history of double-dating. Come to think of it, Rose is with Emmett, who is Edward's brother, and Rose is both of our friends! It so fits."

I'd let her ramble on with this dream idea she was having just so I could sit by and watch her eyes get brighter by the second. Her entire face was alive and animated. But, now I think it was time to intervene and steer the conversation into a different avenue before she had a stroke, or something else equally horrendous.

"Do you know Rose is out with Emmett this weekend?" I said, throwing in the first bit of information I could think of. "It's his birthday or something, and a massive party is being thrown. Edward invited her on his behalf." I bit my lip as I said the last part.

"Hell!" Alice complained, eyes widening. "Are you serious? And she didn't even let me pick her outfit out…" She gave me a sceptical look. "Who's Edward taking? Is it a couples thing?" She looked even more confused, and almost mad at me. "Why aren't you there with him?" she demanded.

So many questions.

I swallowed. "Calm down," I told her, because she was getting worked up again. "Yes, it is a couples thing… And Edward and I are not a couple. _Of course_ he wouldn't take me. And Alice? Just in case it escaped your notice, I'm here in Florida with you. Right now. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to make it."

She _tsk_ed her tongue disapprovingly. "Fine then," she sniped. "Ruin my fun." But she was smiling as she said it.

"Go to bed," I told her, throwing her one of my pillows. "You're probably going to have me up at the crack of dawn. I shudder to imagine what's in store for the new day."

Alice caught it with a smirk. "Now why would you think I'd do that to you?" she asked, overly innocent, lying down on the bed and switching her bedside lamp off. "I do love you Bella."

"I know," I murmured, and then sighed. "Dammit," I muttered. "I have to change."

She giggled softly as I towed my night bag into the bathroom.

-----------

We were driving in the car with all the windows rolled down, sun and warm wind soaking into our systems. The light was bright, and not the icy type I was used to now in Forks, that brought a sense of chilliness to it. It was summery and wonderful in that it made me feel properly alive and awakened.

"Here, here!" Alice screeched out excitedly, surprising me by the intensity of it. I hurriedly turned to her in question, wondering what she was on about, and realised she was pointing at the correct turn-off.

"Oh," I mumbled, and quickly got into the right lane for the turn. Phil had kindly let us borrow his worn-down vehicle, which made Alice smile at him sweetly. "It has just the right look for two surfing babes, doesn't it?" she'd asked my rhetorically, on which I'd answered quietly and somewhat worried, "I'm not surfing."

I was sticking to that decision firmly.

"This is the one?" I checked as I pulled into the overcrowded car park. Some kids were standing by their car in various colourful bathing suits, waiting impatiently for their parents to get out. A couple were sitting on a bench, holding hands.

"Sure is," she answered me enthusiastically as I found a spot in the shade. "You haven't been here?"

"No, actually," I told her truthfully. "I didn't go to this side of town often."

"Great," she said. "Then it's a first for the both of us."

The sand was soft and hot under my bare feet. I looked around, noting it was busy, but not as congested as the parking lot had hinted at. Families and clusters of friends swirled around us, laughing, talking or just basking. Alice steered us towards a more secluded spot and dumped her bag by her feet, marking the spot.

She wriggled her eyebrows at me as she flipped the sunglasses that were perched on her head down onto her nose in a smooth movement.

She unravelled her towel and smoothed it out on the sand, immediately plopping down on it and stretching it out. She craned her head back to peer at me through her dark shades as she leant back on her arms and twisted her ankles together.

"What are you waiting for?" she questioned, smiling and wriggling deeper into the towel covering the sand.

"You get right into it, don't you?"

She slid the glasses down her nose humourlessly with her index finger so she could stare at me without the barrier. "You can stop acting so spoilt. You may have hogged the sunlight over here for years, but this is a wonderful and highly rare occasion for me, okay?" She flicked them back up and leant her head back. "I'm making the most of it."

I looked around me, and then back to Alice. Shrugging, I followed suit, dumping my bag onto the sand and stretching my towel out as well.

"So," I said when I was sitting up cross-legged next to her. "When did you get the sunnies?"

She smirked lazily. "I had them for a year. It's not like I rushed out to buy a whole bunch of stuff simply for this trip. I'm a little more resourceful, Bella. Although I must admit," she added, "I did buy my new bikini." She sat up a little so she could shrug out of her light sundress, placing it on her bag and shaking her shoulders to indicate the new, hot pink bathing suit she now donned. "It's nice, isn't it?"

"Very," I agreed, nodding.

She stared up at the sky. "How long do you think it would take me to tan?"

Her words ignited an important reminder and I instantly reached amongst our stuff until I found the bottle of sunscreen I'd been sure to pack. I held it up, grimacing.

"I hate this stuff," I complained as I flipped the cap and squirted some onto my hand.

"Then don't put it on," Alice suggested lightly.

"Huh," I snorted. "Yeah. Because I really want to go home sunburnt. You know how sensitive my skin is."

She nodded, and then smiled. "You're like a vampire, always hiding from direct sunlight."

Funny. My mother used to say almost the same thing.

I'd had a huge pile of waffles in the morning, and some fresh fruit. It was always welcome in weather like this, something that refreshing. Now, I wished I'd thought to bring some along.

Renee was all smiles when I'd stumbled my way downstairs. She immediately launched a bunch of questions at us, demanding to know what time we would be back because she needed to know what to plan for us. She was eager and excited, awing at Alice pirouetting her beach getup with enthusiasm, suggesting the best ice-cream place where we could get discounts.

Full of smiles. Literally.

It was almost uncanny the way Alice casually brought up the next subject, almost as if she could sense the direction of my thoughts.

"So do tell me—what do you think's up with Renee?" she asked, running her fingers through the sand next to her leg, as if she was enjoying the feeling and texture.

"Uh . . . what?" I wondered stupidly. I squinted at her, waiting for her to elaborate.

"Your mum," she said simply. "I was thinking you might know what was up with her."

I frowned as I tried to summarise what she was saying. Her words were simple enough, but I still hadn't managed to grasp where she was coming from. "What's wrong with her?" I hadn't noticed anything different at all.

Alice pursed her lips and looked at me straight on. I felt the weirdest sensation, like she was scanning my face for any signs I was just acting dumb.

"Come on," she said, amazed and slightly condescending. "You can't tell me you haven't noticed _anything_ at all."

"_Noticed what, _Alice?!" I demanded, completely exasperated.

I watched as her eyebrows rose past her hairline. Her mouth formed a loose 'o' shape.

"Ah," she said with extra emphasis. "Wow. I thought it was really obvious."

If she didn't stop being so evasive and didn't start explaining her behaviour, I was going to throw sand in her face.

"Well calm down now, Belly, sheeesh." She pulled her babying nickname out for me, one she only used on special occasions. "You look all frizzled. Frizzled," she repeated to herself. "Is that even a word?"

I waved past her worry impatiently, and the answer was luckily not that important to her, because she rushed on from there rather quickly.

"You must not have talked to Phil for any lengthy chats, am I right?"

I shook my head once to the side, biting my lip. "No," I murmured truthfully. I was honestly too caught up with Renee to pay too much attention to him.

"Right," Alice nodded decisively. "Which means you obviously didn't pick up on his . . . emotions."

I refrained from slapping myself in the face. This was going nowhere.

"Alice?" I practically begged. "I know you used to love dressing up as a fortune teller for the carnival when we were younger, but could you please cut the crappy, ominous lead up and just tell me what you're getting at?"

"I think your mum is pregnant," she blurted out ungracefully, in a very non-Alice like manner. The words seemed to hang in the air around us for a moment before they blew away to the sea in the breeze.

"What?" I managed to gasp.

"I think Renee might be pregnant," she said lower this time, biting her lip.

"Wh—Why?" I couldn't get my head around what she was suggesting. What? Renee? Renee couldn't be . . .

"Well it's just, if you really watch those two around each other, they're so . . . happy. Not just content happy. I mean, fresh, wonderful news happy. And Phil. You didn't see how careful he was around your mum? All his movements were tender." She snorted. "It's cute, but kinda gooey."

She snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Bella?" she said quietly. "Come on. What are you thinking?"

"I—" Thought she was being absurd. That might sound a little narkier than intended though, once spoken aloud.

I tried to say something less direct. "How does him being affectionate equal a bun in the oven?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know, you really can be totally blind sometimes, Bella. Remember when we were offered a drink? And your mother turned everything down and opted for water. I may not be best buddies and know everything about her, but I do know she doesn't usually do that. And your mother—would you say she's a fan of the vege group?"

Renee? No, never. Not really. My mother was happy living off artificial food; it didn't seem to affect her in the slightest.

"Well, no, not really . . ."

"And she just happened to pile her plate high with healthy, wholesome alternatives. She's already thinking in the motherly sense. What was the food she craved the most when she was pregnant with you? I know you know, you told me at camp when we were exchanging stories."

"Ava—avocado. With tomato." Just because she ate some this morning didn't mean anything.

"Very good, Bella," Alice approved. "And you didn't notice any . . . well, slight change in build?"

I frowned deeper.

Alice shrugged lightly. "I wasn't going to mention it, in case it was considered rude, but Renee definitely is a little rounder than normal, I'd say."

I let out a huge gust of air.

"I really don't think so, Alice," I told her truthfully. "The only thing I take from that is you are seriously documenting every movement my mother is making. I probably should tell her to be cautious around you. The poor thing—just because she's getting old now, doesn't mean you have to—"

Alice cut me off. "Oh, pipe down," she complained. "Don't get all haughty. I could be wrong. The thing is, I don't think I am. I just have a feeling. I know all my evidence is fairly dodgy, but I have a feeling."

I opened and closed my mouth like I stunned fish. I was barely paying any attention to the little kid who ran past our towels, skittering sand in every direction.

"She would have told me," I said, sitting up straighter. I sounded like I was convincing myself just as much as her. "Renee can't keep a secret."

"Well maybe she's not keeping it so much as she's just not sharing it."

I gave her a heavy stare. "That's the same thing, Al."

She paused, and then grinned sheepishly. "What do you know," she sighed. "You're actually right."

I looked at her unhappily.

"Aw, come on!" she said brightly, reaching her arm across to nudge me. "It's not that bad. Look on the bright side; I could be wrong. Why don't you just pretend I didn't say anything?"

Like I could just do that. I had a pesky feeling I was going to be just as abnormally observant as Alice now on Renee's antics.

If it where true—_if_—why hadn't she told me herself? Why hadn't she called the minute she got confirmation? I may live in a different state now, but if I was going to have a half brother-or-sister, didn't I have the right to be aware of the looming prospect?

Hell, wasn't she a little old to do the baby thing again?

I shook my head, worry lines creasing my forehead. Would I be the one to tell Charlie? How would he take the news? I knew he wasn't in love with my mother any more, but wouldn't it still cause a slight reaction?

"Bella," hissed Alice. It was her turn to gaze at me glumly. "I feel bad now for saying that," she mumbled. "I don't get why it's such a big deal though. Isn't it fun?"

"Fun?" I repeated. "How is it fun?"

"I don't know," she admitted. She was silent for a few minutes, until she perked back up again.

"I know what will cheer you up!" she exclaimed. "Why don't we go for a swim? I bet the water is inviting."

I gazed out to the ocean, sparkling blue in the sunlight. She was probably right.

I fidgeted uncomfortably.

She knew me so well; she didn't need to verbally hear my answer.

"No worries," she said. "But I'm still going to. I need to scope this place out—figure which lucky guy I'm going to thrust upon you. It'll take time to get the perfect pick."

I scoffed. "Alice."

"What? Is there someone you already want to throw themselves upon you? Someone back home who's humbly awaiting your return?"

If looks could kill. I gave her a dirty expression, to which she laughed at.

If looks could kill, I would certainly not be the one doing it.

"You know I'm right," she said, getting up from the spot on the sand. She casually chucked her glasses into my lap and stretched up, looking around.

"I _do not_ like him," I mumbled, knowing it was no use.

She chucked a pitying look down at me. When she answered, it was very carelessly done. "Perhaps not," she conceded, like it wasn't an issue worth her time. She was stepping away from me as she flashed an amazing smile over her shoulder, ruining the offhand manner.

"But I know damn right I'm correct about the waiting part. Your gorgeous man is probably moping around without you there."

And with that she lithely danced away from me, descending into the sea.

---------

**I know, I know. Real boring? But, I'm selfishly still asking you to review, because I'm making the promise that the next chapter is going to be way better, more drama, less ladi-da stuff… And the more reviews, the better it will get, and the sooner our Edward and Bella will get together. Ahhh, it's getting so close! Their time will come, and I can't wait to write it.**

**Oh! – Sorry for how long it took to update. I've been so busy lately, no joke. It's (sadly) one of my highest priorites to update this thing but I'm really, really busy! Right now I've got four hours to waste at school because I'm staying until eight so I can give this massive speech to all the year eight's paretns and students.**

**Brilliant.**

**I'm so nervous! Give me support....**

**Love you all.**

**X**


	19. Friends and Relatives

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

**Whooo! I wrote almost all of this and then deleted it all without a fuss because something about it wasn't right . . . See what happens? It's not about where I take it anymore, because if I write something wrong, it isn't right. The story is already there, I just have to figure it out. It has completely taken over, and it's just absolutely crazy!**

**Blahhh.**

**Hope you enjoy ******

19. Friends and Relatives

Alice was a smart girl. Since she was little, she had the capacity to understand the way her actions and words affected the ones around her. Never had there been a stage where she found herself caught up in confusion between her manner, and the way in which it was construed on the receiving end.

It was probably the reason why things transpired the way they did. Had she been aware that her movements would string uncertainty onto another's thoughts and reasons, she probably would have been a little more cautious in the time leading up to that moment. However, fate weaves tangled webs, and because of the assurance she had within herself—the assurance that had a right to be present—she did not.

Not until later, that is.

When it was already too late.

-------------

BPOV

"So when exactly did you meet them?" I hissed, risking a quick peek at the group from the corner of my eye as I spoke. "I don't think I've ever seen them before in my life."

Alice was entirely relaxed, the small, tranquil smile set in her lips apparently there to stay. She shrugged carelessly, seemingly more occupied with the salad she was dishing onto her plate then our conversation.

"I told you, silly," she murmured. "They were at the beach. I hung out with them for ages. If you weren't so busy reading, you might've noticed them."

She was back in the sundress, her bikini underneath still slightly visible, her hair a wonderful mess from a day in the hot sun and wet sea. She was also still wearing the smile.

The smile that told me something was up.

I couldn't help it; I glanced back to them all, not able to stop myself from sizing them up. It didn't make sense.

"But . . ." I said, almost dazed. "But do you really _know_ them? I mean, look at them."

Alice strolled past the table filled with pasta salads and made a beeline for the iced drinks. I followed behind with my own empty plate, stubbornly waiting until she made some sense on the matter.

"_Bella_," she stressed the word. And smiled. "Would you relax? I promise, they're really nice. And anyway, even if they're not—could you pass me that cup?—it's not like we're on our own with them. This is your house. Look at all the people."

I watched as she poured her drink, realising she'd just made my point.

"But Al, that's it. They're _at my house_. I don't know them, you hardly know them, no one else around here seems to know them . . ."

She turned and rested one hand above my chest, almost like she was trying to calm me down. I broke off, only so I could listen to her brilliant reply, but I made sure my face still masked the disapproving I felt.

"You know it wasn't like that," she told me, and she sort of had a point, too. "I went to Renee before inviting them over, and asked her permission. Give me some credit, Bella. I'm not so presumptuous that I would act like this was my own home." She was finally giving me her full attention, her eyes staring straight into mine. "Now, are you sure you are worried because of a few extra teenagers, or is it because your mother threw this thing in the first place?"

Sigh. She knew full well I wasn't exactly doing cartwheels over the fact that as soon as we got home from the beach, just after standard lunchtime, we were greeted with a small crowd of people swarming the tiny backyard.

Apparently my mother had called up a few people in our absence to greet us when we arrived home. Just for some fun, she'd stated. And I supposed in one respect, it was rather nice and homely. But on the other, it was a slightly, tediously predictable outcome I should have foresighted.

I was just going to grin and bear it.

That wasn't the reason for my 'worry', though, as Alice so helpfully put it. I just wasn't entirely comfortable with the four unknown adolescents, standing unobtrusively in the corner of the yard, obviously sticking to themselves, who Alice claimed to have buddied up with during my distraction in the sun.

I had my reasons. The way one of them kept slinging their eyes over at my best friend didn't escape my notice, and nor did unusual way they held themselves up. Like they really were something different.

Sure, she was right: it was early afternoon, were surrounded by adults and families who my mother knew well (I even was on friendly terms with a few of them myself), and Renee had jumped at the idea of having them over to 'join the party'.

It still seemed odd.

So was this all about my mother's idea to show a welcoming gesture? No. Not entirely.

I didn't know how to voice it.

"Look, Alice," I started calmly. "You know full well this isn't my most favourite thing in the entire world. But, no, it's not the reason behind my . . . hesitance. And I'm not _worried_. I just . . ." I trailed off, doing a weird jerky movement with my shoulders as the words didn't form.

My friend gave me a look. The typical look someone who knows you really well gives you when they know the reasons behind your actions.

Or, in my case, apprehension.

"Bella," she said, almost sternly, but with a soft edge. "Honestly, I love ya, but you are being so . . . _stiff_. Were you or were you not the girl who met the man of her dreams at a party in the dead of night?"

"Man of my dreams?" I spluttered. "_Friend_, yeah, but not—"

"Did you worry then? As you spent the time with him, isolated and alone, _dancing_ in his friggen' arms?"

"No, but we weren't exactly—"

"Precisely. Where has that girl gone? They're just a few friends, a few locals, ones who I really enjoyed hanging out with for a couple of hours this morning. I simply got permission to hang out with them in a safe, populated place for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Only this time, you're going to be joining me. They're _really nice_, Bella," she emphasised. "We're on vacation! So let's get out there and vacate our minds of all the stupid stuff at home and let's _have fun_."

She wrinkled her nose, and then stared down at my barren plate. "Aren't you hungry? This food is God. Eat, eat!" She started dumping some of her own helpings onto my dish when I didn't move fast enough.

"Hey," she murmured, wriggling her eyebrows in my direction. "Who's that guy?" The man who had her brief attention was the husband of one of my mother's best friends; I'd known him since I was in diapers. "He's kinda cute, you know," she mused, smiling. "He's got that whole old-timey look going for him. Do you know him?"

I rolled my eyes, poking Alice in the side. "Let's move it, yeah? He's old enough to be your father."

She obliged, but she couldn't help sending me a sheepish grin.

As soon as we'd edged away from the makeshift food buffet that had been set up by the helpfulness of Phil and one of his good mates—leaving the women to gossip and laugh over the fact they could make their husbands do anything, really—Alice grabbed hold of my arm and steered me boldly towards her newfound friends.

They stopped what they were doing and straightened out into a more conventional line as we approached. I couldn't help but feel I was advancing towards a line of battle, the way their faces were set into lines of seriousness.

If they were discussing anything beforehand, they certainly weren't now; it was silent on their end as we finally reached them. Alice seemed entirely relaxed.

There were two boys, and two girls. She introduced me to all of them with an air of confidence that I could only ever dream of achieving.

"Guys? This is Bella—she's my bestest friend and loves me to death, right, Bell?"

I smiled at her, not missing the fierceness the possessed her voice as she spoke. "Sure," I murmured.

Alice turned back to the line. "You saw her before, anyway. And Bella, this is . . ."

She began from the left, listing them all off in order until she finished at the right.

" . . . Sean . . ."

Dark hair, hazel eyes, a smile that seemed to have stayed since boyhood that was both charming and childish.

" . . . Stacey . . ."

Tall, lithe, dark hair that was almost black, tangling thickly down her back like she belonged on the cover of a surf magazine, an exotic look that made me think she wasn't from here.

" . . . Vanessa . . ."

Shorter, more average in height, with light brown hair that was thick and wavy, freckles not only covering her face but her entire body.

" . . . And Leon," Alice finished.

He was the tallest, broad shouldered with hair that was almost bleached blonde from the sunlight.

In turn, they each gave me a small nod of acknowledgement as their name rolled of Alice's sharp tongue.

All but the first one, Sean, she called him. He looked at me briefly with a wink, and then turned his gaze to Alice so he could grin at her fully.

The look she flickered back at him without hesitation held an air of secretiveness to it that instantly had me on high alert.

_Oh_.

"Well," she said brightly when the names were over. "What were you guys up to?"

"Nothing, really," Vanessa answered with a genuinely warm smile. "We were just talking." She coked her head to the side as she looked at me. "Bella, huh? I met you mum. You look like her."

"Not really," I said, smiling shyly. "At least, I don't think so."

Vanessa shook her head. "No, really, you do. Which is a good thing, trust me." She grinned, very open in her friendliness. "If I look half as good as your mother does when I hit her age, I will _definitely_ be lucky."

I smiled at the kind girl, instantly liking her.

"What you got there?" Sean asked, nodding over at Alice's plate she held between the pair of her hands like I prized possession.

"Food," she answered contently, grinning. "You should go and get some—seriously. It's not bad for a spur-of-the-moment throw-together." She paused, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Actually, it's bloody brilliant. I take the 'not bad' business off the table."

Sean smirked, all smiles at the small girl, and shrugged his shoulders in agreement. "If you say so."

"So," a voice said nearby, and I turned to see the tall man, Leon, at my right. "You're Bella?" He voiced it like a question, which I found odd, considering we'd already established names, and who I was.

I nodded. "Mmm," I assented. From the corner of my eye, I could make out the figures of Alice and Sean, already seemingly caught up in deep conversation.

He didn't say anything else, so I looked back to him, wondering if I'd missed something, but found he was smiling at me.

"What?" I asked automatically, immediately assuming it had something to do with me.

He shook his head, grinning. "Nothing," he said, his teeth a dazzling white against the tan of his skin. In fact, the whole lot of them shared that in common; they were all perfect shades of glowing bronze.

I looked down at my feet to escape his gaze. Of course, if I looked to the ground, then I was already halfway to looking to my left, back over to where Alice was . . .

"Do you live here?" Leon questioned me, once again recapturing my drifting attention.

He was still smiling when my eyes snapped back to him. "Oh, um," I got out awkwardly, unable to formulate the honest answer in one word. "Not really," I settled with.

He seemed amused by my answer. "Not really?" he repeated.

"Yeah, well"—I exhaled loudly, interrupting my sentence—"this is my home, but I don't live here. I'm up for a visit, to see my mum—I live with my dad, you see."

He only seemed to smile wider, and not in a way that would make me feel like it was at my expense. And I didn't get it; I sounded like a total idiot. If I had been him, I would be giving me weird looks right about now.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Vanessa interrupted him with a playful slap on the arm before he could talk.

"Just shut up, Leon," she suggested lightly, her eyes still warm and friendly. She turned to me with a wink. "My brother, you see," she explained, "doesn't mean to come off sounding totally enraptured by your life. He's just trying to be polite. Don't worry about it."

"Brother?" I picked the key word up with surprise. Seeing them standing together . . . Well, they did look similar, but I wouldn't have guessed they were related.

Leon rolled his eyes, and Vanessa shrugged. "I know,' she sighed. "It's sad, isn't it? He's my elder by almost two years, if you would believe it."

The light way they conversed with each other displayed their close relationship.

"How old are you?" I asked curiously at the pair of them.

"I'm eighteen," Vanessa answered, right before Leon said simply, "Twenty."

I nodded, smiling at them both. "Oh, okay."

There was about a second of silence before Leon interrupted it with a certain sharpness to his voice, like he was eager to get the words out before someone stopped him.

"You know," he said abruptly, "I think I've seen you before. Did you used to live here? Because I really think, years ago, I remember you when you were little . . ."

That stopped me, and I furrowed my brow slightly in confusion as I thought.

"Oh, um . . . Well, I did used to live here, years ago, like you said . . ." I pushed my hair behind my ear, suddenly self-conscious.

Vanessa looked between the both of us, eyebrows raised. "Well I don't remember you at all," she stated, and then smiled. "Maybe Lee's kidding himself."

"No really," he insisted, staring at me.

I smiled at him once and shrugged. "Who knows?" I asked rhetorically.

Loud laughter made me spin around, and I saw Alice giggling at Sean, who was snickering quite raucously.

"Good to see they're having a good time," Vanessa observed lightly, eyebrows raised.

"He's such an idiot," scoffed a very feminine voice I hadn't heard before.

I turned, surprised, to see the one girl who hadn't yet spoken, staring at Sean with mild disgust on her face.

She was dark and exotic, a strapless, vibrant blue bikini donning her body. Her deep brown eyes seemed almost haughty, and I worried for a second about what was upsetting her.

She didn't look at me, even though I was staring after her, assuming some form of eye contact would follow. She did, however, rest her gaze on Leon, who snorted at her words.

"Give him a break," he said, frowning. "He doesn't mean anything."

The expression she gave him was condescending and smug. "If you say so," she murmured, smirking to herself.

Vanessa gave me a sly look and rolled her eyes dramatically. "Don't mind Stace," she told me, in a way that indicated how well the girls knew each other.

That comment made Stacey finally look at me, her eyes flickering over my face. "You know full well what's going to happen," she insisted haughtily, her glare turning to Vanessa. "I'm just depicted as the grumpy one because I see things _exactly_ how they are."

"That's right, actually," Vanessa said, turning to me with a shrug of her shoulders. "Stacey is real nice, Bella," she grinned, almost cheekily. "Although, I didn't think that of her two years ago . . ."

Leon grinned, suddenly amused. "No," he said, shaking his head at me as his eyes sparkled with a distant memory. "She definitely didn't. Those two were at their throats, day and night . . ."

". . . Until we realised we could actually get along really well," Vanessa finished.

"Trust me," Stacey stressed her message, although her face remained pretty empty apart from the slight crease in her brow. "Sean will just stuff something up. It's inevitable. If he could only just . . ."

She didn't finish what she was saying, because Leon was making a face of displeasure at her words, almost like he was mocking her.

"Oh, cut it out," she snapped, but couldn't help the half smile that tugged up the corner of her mouth. "Honestly, you're such an idiot. I can't believe you are related to Ness sometimes, you pig, she is _so_ much more mature than you."

Vanessa grinned. "Thanks!" she enthused, and then added," You see; how can you not learn to love her when she says stuff like that?"

I smiled, having been unable to find a suitable moment to add something in myself. The dialogue was entertaining; they acted like a really close-knit group, the constant complaints of the other adding proof of how close things obviously got.

"So, I'm really sorry, but how did you guys meet Alice, exactly?" I wondered aloud, ignoring the deafening laughs that were coming from where she was situated.

"Oh, I don't know how it happened," Vanessa said. "We were just playing some volleyball at the beach, and then she ended up saying something, and joined in . . ."

"And it's hard not to get along with her—she has a real sociable personality," Leon continued. "We were talking for so long, the four of us, and Alice got a call, and before we knew it, we were on our way here."

Stacey then smiled. "She has really cute bathers," she contributed.

She and Vanessa laughed.

I nodded. Okay. Because that sounded _exactly_ like my best friend, no sarcasm intended. It was uncanny the way everyone was able to peg her behaviour from the moment of meeting her.

"So, I hope you don't think it's weird that we're here," Leon said, looking down at me sheepishly. "I just realised, it must seem fairly random."

I shook my head quickly, not wanting to seem rude. Of course, his words echoed my previous sentiment on the matter just a few moments ago. "No, you're fine. Alice is always trying to spice things up—she figured our 'holiday' needed a little spontaneity, you see. And you've met my mother, obviously—she's all for that."

Vanessa nodded her head, smiling.

"So, did you guys . . . want any food?" I was still holding onto my plate.

As soon as I finished speaking, Alice was there, Sean shadowing her, grinning up at the lot of us with happiness.

"Mines gone," she said, and then gave a pointed look at Sean. "_Someone_ seemed a little too hungry to get there own."

Sean smirked. "You offered," he reminded her.

"Yeah, but that was before I found out you ate like a buffalo."

He surprised, not only what I suspected was my self, but everyone else behind me as well, by leaning down and whispering something quietly in her ear, so only she could hear.

She grinned at him, nudging him in the stomach. "Oh, shut up,' she advised deviously when he straightened back up. "Pl-ease."

"So you guys have heaps in common, huh?" I observed lightly.

Alice shrugged. "We share a common knack for finding the same things funny—does that count?"

And just like that, a giggle was escaping her mouth, and Sean was trying to stifle his own snickers.

That was about all it took.

Spinning around with a look of apology on my face, I grimaced at the new acquaintances, just as my arm reached out to forcefully get a hold of Alice's arm. "Could you guys give us a sec?" I asked, already taking a step back. "Please, do help yourself to some food; and don't feel the need to stay in this corner. We'll be right back."

As I was almost dragging my best friend away from them, Alice laughed, all sugary and sweet, and gave a small, tinkling wave. "Oooops," she mouthed comically.

It was heaven, stepping inside, being met with the air-conditioning, and being away from the groups of people. As soon as were indoors, I let go of her arm and she followed me without any coaxing from myself; we ended up in the kitchen.

"_What_," I said, rounding on her in my incredulity, "was _that_?"

Alice looked up at me, the ghost of her laughter still in her eyes, and gave me a quizzical look.

"What was what?" she demanded.

"I thought you liked Jasper!" I exploded. Although my voice was filled with levels of emotion and emphasis, the volume was moderate and didn't rouse anyone to our presence. "I'm sorry if I'm out of line here, but seriously, you are _messing_ with my head. Are you not the same girl who has linked your name to Whitlock's since we first became friends? What are you doing being all . . . all . . . _flirty_, with another guy?"

Alice's brow rose as she stared at me. "Seriously?" she asked, her mouth gaping slightly in her shock. "Bella, we're not doing anything wrong! I don't think I'm being any different with him than I am with anyone else."

It was my turn to look on in bafflement to her. "Seriously?" I echoed her. "If you acted like that around me, I would be getting considerable worried. And don't say it's just me being over-sensitive or whatever—you should've seen everyone else's faces. You would've, actually, if you had been paying attention to anything else besides this Sean kid."

Alice took a deep breath, running both her hands through her wild hair until she let them drop to her sides in defeat.

"Bella, I don't like him," she stated simply. "_I don't like him_," she repeated when I opened my mouth to talk. "We're just friends! I haven't even known him for a whole day yet, okay?"

"That was my brilliant defence when it came to Edward that night, you know," I muttered. "And you wouldn't listen—you still don't listen." I shook my head, realising quickly he had nothing to do with the situation at hand. "But that's not the point," I continued firmly, as she began to look slightly smug. "What's relevant is that exact fact—your behaviour wouldn't be half as weird if you _did_ know him really well.

"So let's say I believe you when you say you don't like him—and, if that _is_ what you're saying, and what you mean, then I do believe you. Of course I would. But not matter what _your_ intentions are, I swear to you, Alice, that guy is completely besotted by you. I haven't even _spoken_ to him and I know—am undyingly positive—that that's true."

She looked like she was going to deny what I was saying again, but she stopped, and then sighed. She changed her reply before it had even formulated. "Okay," she said, trying to set things straight. "So even if he does like me, I mean, who actually _cares_? Why _can't_ he like me? There's nothing _stopping_ him from liking me if he wants to."

"Jasper—"

"Jasper and I aren't actually together, if it has escaped your notice!" Alice cut me off. She bit her lip, suddenly looking downcast. Her eyes widened as that realisation set in. "We're not together," she repeated slower. She looked me dead-on, her frustration and impatience and confusion seeping through as she stared. "I don't know when that's going to happen, okay?" she murmured. "I'm on holiday, enjoying myself, and am not doing anything wrong at all—I have no loyalty ties to anyone. I might feel like I do, but in reality, I don't. And this guy—I'm probably not going to ever see him again after today! So why should I let Jasper—being the stupidly slow . . . and gorgeous," she admitted, ". . . guy he is, stop me from making a new friend?"

I didn't have anything to say. I gazed at her, and was suddenly overwhelmed by sympathy.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" And I threw my arms around her tightly, wanting to convey my own feelings on the matter. "I didn't mean to—I didn't mean it like—"

"I know," Alice said, patting me as she hugged me back. "It must seem odd, if you're seeing it like that. Especially because I'm always rambling on about how much I'm gonna marry him and make him my devoted slave for life. That's still true! I'm just enjoying being liked by somebody. Innocently."

I nodded, leaning back, a tad embarrassed by the way I flew off the handle so quickly. "I'm sorry," I mumbled again. "I know, even if you did really like Sean, that it's none of my business. I just . . ."

"Wanted some confirmation?" Alice finished for me. She nodded seriously, already understanding where I was coming from. She was great like that. "I know, I can appreciate that. It's actually nice that you're so in tune with what's going on for me."

I smiled, a little sheepish. "It's the heat, you know," I told her. "The heat makes patience dissipate immediately and frustration leaks in to take its place."

"Keep telling yourself that," Alice laughed, reaching around me to grab a glass from the cupboard behind me. She passed one to me, and then retrieved one for herself. I instantly went to the fridge to get out the chilled water. It was probably a good idea.

While my back was turned, Alice said in a light, airy voice, "Well, actually, because we're kinda on the subject, have you noticed Leon yet?"

I was a little confused. I turned, frowning to myself as I focused on pouring the water from the jug into the cups without spilling anything.

"Well, yeah," I said, shrugging. "He was right next to me. How was I to miss him exactly?"

She didn't give me an answer straight away, waiting until I looked up at her for some response to my question. She was smiling sweetly, something that made me instantly on alert.

"What?" I demanded.

She just smiled wider, looking to the floor as she shrugged one shoulder, copying my earlier movement. "I think he likes you," she blurted out, losing all traces of carefulness. Her eyes snapped straight from the ground to mine, waiting.

"Oh, come off it," I muttered, my embarrassment almost tangible as I went to put the jug back in the fridge.

"No seriously!" she sang, following my closely with her sharp eyes. "I haven't even seen you together, really, but even before he met you, and he saw you on the beach, he was asking questions."

"Yeah, Al, he thinks he's seen me before." I looked at her briefly, and then went to get some ice. "He said it. And who knows? Maybe he does."

She shook her head. "If you say so," she said, "but I doubt it. It seems I'm not the only one who has an admirer, huh? Poor Edward."

"Edward doesn't have anything to do with this," I emitted tiresomely. What she was saying was based on the smallest amount of logic possible. It was just like her previous hypothesis, the one about my mother.

My mother . . .

I shuddered inwardly. I wish she hadn't said anything on the subject; I didn't have the guts to talk to her about it, and I couldn't look at her properly.

"Hmmm," Alice hummed, titling her head to the side.

'What?" Did I really want to know?

"Oh, I'm just trying to imagine what Edward's doing at the moment. You know, he might be getting ready for this party thing for Emmett right about now."

"Why are you thinking about him?" I looked at her, confused. Was she this desperate to change the subject off herself?

"Because I know _you_ are, and I'm voicing it for you because you are unable to. You know, he's probably stuck with thoughts about you as well. I wonder what he really _is_ up to?"

--------------

EPOV

Fuck.

I stared dully out the window, my eyes blind to the bright blue sky, the hills that curved the horizon, stretching on to new heights, creating a rather picturesque view. Even if the sight wasn't all too familiar, even if the beauty that was found in such a simple thing wasn't so drearily normal, I would still be unable to take it in and appreciate it.

My eyes were stuck, narrowed in on the woman who was carefully climbing out of her polished, expensive choice of transport that was parked ostentatiously in the middle of the driveway.

It was times like these that I wished I was still living at home with my parents. When someone else was the head-resident, it was up to them to deal with the visitors that showed up, it fell onto their shoulders to be polite, and it was generally them who the guest wanted to annoy.

Who thought of inviting the old cow, anyway? Surely it wasn't for Emmett's benefit; he had even less patience with her than I had.

I envied him at them moment, oblivious to all the franticness that was taking place in his wake. When it was time for the whole family to assemble, it was the perfect time to slip away. It wasn't always the case, but for most circumstances involving a wealthy family, there were always a _lot_ of relatives. And weird ones, at that.

I didn't see the point of inviting them all down, as Esme had done with a bright smile on her face. Perhaps it was the reason that this was the first time since Em was little that she'd been given the opportunity to organise something; after a while, the normal parties involving hoards of drunken adolescents got a little tedious. Perhaps she'd gotten a little overenthusiastic, and wanted him to remember the night.

I was positive he would.

And, hell, I wasn't all downcast and sullen and gloomy. In fact, the night would surely be rather enjoyable, if you were able to shake off the old ladies that were raucously loud and cackled like fairytale witches.

It was just hard to have a bright outlook when Medora-Fae arrived at your door.

It was even harder to force a smile on your face when all you were stuck with for some form of cover from her wicked ways was your pathetic best friend, who seemed to think it was appropriate to throw the styraphome balls he had found in a discarded box filled with odd ornaments at the back of your head.

I was too preoccupied following the path the Medora was taking as she made a huge fuss out of pulling her oversized handbag from the front seat of the car, to pay much attention to it.

Jasper, in all seventeen years of his pitiable immaturity, snickered as flakes of it got caught in my hair.

At the distant sound of her car door slamming, he moved in closer, to peer over me as I sat in the chair that overlooked the front lawn, peering down on her as well.

He whistled lowly.

"Well, she sure looks impressive."

I didn't even blink.

"Come off it, man. She can't be _that_ bad."

Sighing rather theatrically, I shook my head infinitesimally side to side for a short second. He was so naive. It wasn't like I gave every one of my aunts the same treatment before they arrived.

"Look on the bright side—at least your not _blood_ related to her, right?"

"In all intents and purposes, I may as well be," I muttered.

We both grimaced as she pulled her precious dog out of the backseat, still fussing over every last thing.

'What _is_ that thing?" Jasper said in an incredulous tone, squinting to get a better look at the ugly puppy.

"Her pride and joy," I told him dully. "Worth a fortune more than any of her last three husbands; tread extra carefully there, mate. I'm not helping you with any shit involving her and her dog. You're on your own."

Jasper just laughed again, obviously not taking me seriously. He would learn. She was the most infuriating woman on the face of the planet; she was Esme's younger sister, the youngest out of the four of them.

Under his breath, Jasper made the unmistakeable theme song for Jaws as Medora approached, finally finished with her car and the fuss over her hair, and was careening nearer and nearer to the front door with every second that passed.

I flinched when the doorbell rang out rather deafeningly.

Jazz waited a second. "You gonna answer that?" he finally asked, obviously getting a kick out of my immobile state.

"Sure," I muttered darkly, wrenching myself from my seat and heading towards the stairs. As I started down the flight of them, the doorbell pealed through another round, her impatient finger obviously holding it down.

I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath. I had no idea why she'd decided to come down here to see me. Surely she would head straight to Esme? She knew Emmett wouldn't be here.

I could see her figure through the glass, although it was distorted and blurred. I opened the door coolly, trying to keep the distaste off my face and succeeding in a blank look.

She was there, her handbag on her shoulder, her dog tucked under her arm, her hair, so similarly coloured to Esme, but with a more golden hint to it, flowing freely to her shoulders in loose curls, her smile dazzling as her eyes appraised me.

"Edward!" she enthused the greeting, her smiled growing wider, the smile with the bright pink lips and sterile white teeth. "How are you, hun?"

I gave her a tight smile, nodding once as I gave a half-shrug, not committing myself to anything yet. Her bag was shiny red leather, matching her manicured hands to perfection. She had designer sunglasses perched atop her head, even though the overcast weather made them look out of place, and her coat was spotlessly white and thick, its heaviness making up for the thin stilettos she insisted wearing for every occasion. I stepped aside from the door, allowing her to pass through.

She stepped inside, looking around the room as if she was inspecting it. She turned to me with a smile. "Uh," she drawled, flipping her hair over her shoulder as I closed the door. "You mind getting me a drink? We can head straight to the kitchen—that was a _long_ drive."

I led the way, already resigned to just do things her way—it would be over sooner if that was the case.

I headed straight to the bar, knowing what her drink entailed.

She sat down on one of the stools, her handbag on the one next to her, bouncing the dog that was in her arms almost as if it was a baby. She sighed, sliding the glasses from her head.

"You know, darling, I think this is such a huge fuss for just a birthday party. Perhaps it would be better if you could move somewhere a little grander—this town is just dreary. It makes the drive such a bother."

I nodded, turning around so I could roll my eyes.

"You know," I said conversationally, "You didn't have to come."

Her tinkling laugh rang out across the room. "Well we couldn't have that, could we? I have to be there if the whole family is—especially since I here Emmett has a new girl. Is she pretty? Esme said she was gorgeous, but you know what a pushover she is." She was focusing in her handbag that she'd pulled back into her lap, unable to have her hands unoccupied and taskless. She pulled out a compact, flipping it open to inspect herself in the small mirror.

"She's great for him," I said, and just to piss her off, added, "And one of the hottest people around."

Her compact snapped shut, and her steely eyes found mine as I looked her dead-on. A crashing sound from upstairs broke our staring, and I inwardly swore at Jasper for breaking whatever the hell he had.

Then she smiled sweetly, laughing lightly again. "Well, I suppose I'll see tonight, huh? Hurry up with this drink now, honey. Do you have company?"

I smirked. "Well, I don't know if you would consider it actual _company_ . . ."

Jasper strode into the room in his impeccable timing, grinning at me before his eyes landed on the one aunt that drove me insane.

"Hello," he said politely, although I could detect an underlying tone in his voice. "I'm Edward's friend," he explained as he wandered into the kitchen beside me, leaning against the counters so he was opposite Medora.

"Medora," she said simply, smiling and titling her head to the side as she sat up straight in her seat. "And aren't you the handsome one—are you sure you're not from our family?"

Jasper shrugged, not quite abashed—I'd vented about her for so long this morning he didn't fall for her sugariness.

She ran her tongue over her teeth, and the smacked her lips together softly. "So, Edward, tell me some news," she insisted, stroking the head of her animal lovingly. "What's happening for you?"

She didn't wait for me to answer, just launched straight on. "Please tell me you're bringing that girl tonight. Now _she's_ someone who at least looks promising. And she seemed completely besotted by you, the last time I was down, for whatever reason; you must have something going right for you. What was her name again? Tina?"

"Tanya," I muttered, hating the way my mouth shaped her name at the current moment. "No, she's not coming tonight. Definitely not."

"They can't stand each other at the moment," Jasper offered, ever-helpful. "They broke up ages ago."

Medora pouted. "Oh, you idiot boy! What did you do? She was cute."

I placed the concoction I'd created for her, sliding it across the bench.

"I didn't do anything," I said truthfully.

"Well, you must have done something. Take away your good looks and your status and everything, and your still filthy rich. A girl with brains doesn't let someone like you go." She took a sip, oblivious to her dog that was straining against her arm. "So who's with you tonight then, darling?"

"No one," I answered in short.

"No one?" She gave me a dirty look, placing her glass down. "You can't show up without some pretty girl by your side. Jesus, Edward."

"I'm not taking anyone," Jasper inserted casually, shrugging.

She ignored him, her previous comments on his looks obviously not enough for her to care enough about what he was saying. She peered at me slyly, the ghost of another smile playing on her lips.

"I get it," she announced, pointing a finger at me. "You don't want to appear taken, do you? That's good, that's very good. You're so hot, you should be fucking as many people as you can while you're still young." She giggled, suddenly sounding like she was an eight-year-old girl. "That's real smart, baby." She stiffened, and then frowned.

"Isn't one of you going to take me jacket?" she asked suddenly, pouting again.

Oh, fucking hell already.

When she was comfortable again, her short and frilly dress on display for everyone, sitting back on one of the lounges, crossing her legs to show off as much thigh as possible, she talked away again.

"You know, I'm turning twenty-six in just a few weeks," she murmured, and then grinned. "I've got exactly thirty-three men on hold, waiting for me to reply to them to give them permission to do something for me. You wonder why I don't see you more often? I'm so busy, baby. I'm a people person, as you know, and people love me. When people love you, you've got to make time for them, and juggling it all can be quite difficult." She then spoke in surprise. "You know, you've got something in your hair . . . is that dandruff? Oh, ew."

"Is there a reason you're here?" I asked, not bothering to attempt at sounding polite, brushing the styraphome flakes from my hair that obviously were still present.

She gave me a reproving look, clicking her tongue. "You're supposed to comment on how much younger I look, you know," she mused. "Actually, do you mind getting something for Duke? He's been so good . . ."

Duke. I knew there was a reason I forgot the name of her fugly pet. I sighed, getting to my feet as I stomped back out to the kitchen to hunt something up that a small puppy would eat.

Jasper was there; he managed to weasel his way out of coming into the lounge, simply because Medora seemed utterly uninterested in him for the moment.

"Fuck me," he whispered lowly to me.

"I think I'll pass." I shoved past him, opening a cupboard so I could dig through its contents. "What would a dog eat?" I muttered, completely clueless.

He ignored me. "She's hot, though, you know," said, stating a fact that was true, and at the same time, so wrong. She couldn't be called that when she looked so disgustingly _perfect_. "And like, scary. How much work has she had done?"

"I lost count after the nose job," I told him, frowning as I picked up an unmarked jar filled with something unidentifiable. "Or maybe it was the boob job . . ."

"What are you doing?"

He'd come closer as I spoke, so he asked that when he was right beside me. I jumped, startled.

"Oh, um, shit . . ." The jar smacked to the floor, clattering loudly and shattering, its dark brown contents slopping onto the floor.

Jazz tried to keep his voice down, but still managed a rather loud, "What the fuck is _that_?"

It smelt funny; probably some gourmet, home-grown . . . something. I shook my head, trying to snap my attention back to the problem. I stepped out of the mess, thankful none of it was on me. It looked poiseness and disgusting. "I'm trying to find something for the god-_awful_ dog of hers—I mean, what the hell does it eat? Does she expect me to give it some milk?"

Jasper was then laughing, and I swore again, trying to think were the broom and mop would be so I could clean up the mess. I wish he'd step on some glass or something so he could just shut up.

"That brown gunk looks deadly," Jazz commented making no move to help clean it up. "Do you think the dog would eat _that_?"

There's always a pause whenever someone comes up with a potentially-disastrous, but presently-sounding brilliant idea.

That pause was there, screaming at me to take charge and create some form of payback for all the years spent cleaning up the mess that dog left everywhere. It was there in Jasper's eyes when ours met, his smile suddenly wicked and amused. It was there in mine, as well; it made me forget all about the glass and the smell, and made me imagine the look on the snob's face when she realised her precious _Duke_ had consumed something inappropriate.

It was everywhere. And, as soon as the pause finished, and things were back in motion, I found myself scrapping the crap back up and placing it on a plate.

I never said it was a smart idea, now, did I?

-------

**Love to you all, because I'm hoping you can forgive me for the last chapter and that this is hopefully better? **

**Hope you had a wicked Halloween ;)**

**x**


	20. Revelations

**Hahahah ;)**

**Okay . . . Before I begin, there was a bit of confusion and mixed feelings, so a few things:**

**I want to explain about Ed's aunt a little, and how he relates to her. No, I promise nothing incestuous has ever gone on, alright? Lol. She's young, and beautiful, and slutty, and Edward can't stand her. She doesn't see him as anything other than her nephew, either. The whole "darling" and "baby" and "honey" terms she uses for him is, firstly, the way she speaks to the majority of people, and also, when directed at him, a condescending move to show she's in power. The whole talking about girls for him and everything is because she views him as some adorable, clueless thing that needs some help. Also, she's into status and everything, so she thinks it's bad for him to show up without someone by his side. **

**Alice may have seemed a little odd last chapter, with her whole rant about Jasper. Yes, of course she still wants him. I don't want to explain too much on this one, because it'll become clearer in time within the story. But, I might just leave this with you to think about . . . Alice has always been a sure, confident person in absolutely everything in her life. She might put up this whole façade and everything of being completely confident with the whole Jasper issue as well, but this is the one thing in her life she can't have absolute control over. She can't physically **_**make**_** him like her. And that terrifies her. She might just be having a little lapse in her sure manner, that's all. She says she knows he wants her, but she isn't sure about that at all. And, come on, Jasper isn't around—she's not allowing Sean to flirt with her in front of Jasper to play with him or anything. If it's a mistake, it's a mistake—people are always making mistakes, it's an unfortunate but very real thing in life.**

_**One more thing (sorry, sorry, sorry!) – **_

**Some are wanting more Edward/Bella stuff, and I can understand your frustration. Trust me, though, it's kind of vital they spend a small time apart—in reality, there's no way they'd spend every second together. They need to know what it's like to not have the other person there. Kinda like what happens in New Moon (even though it sucks), when they're apart; it just highlights how much they really need each other. And also, everything that happens when Bella's in Florida does add to the storyline—it's not like I'd put something useless in for no reason.**

**Anyhow, I could rant on for ages, but it's already too long! So, yet again, thanks to my readers and reviewers, I hope you like it. **

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS.  
_

20. Revelations

BPOV

The light outside was slowly fading as the sun descended lower into the sky with slow precision. I sat by my window to my old bedroom, staring out at the sky as I let my thoughts fly around in my head.

The guests would be leaving soon. The later hours of the afternoon that had swung around proved that; I knew no one would be staying for dinner. I still hadn't really spoken to Renee since I'd been back from the beach. There were two reasons for that: one, I hadn't really had the chance; she certainly hadn't ignored me, but she was busy with all her friends and visitors that were around—plus, I hadn't exactly been in the main focus of what was happening in that department. I'd stepped to the back. The second reason was pathetic, but the honest truth was that I hadn't exactly _tried_ to talk to her.

I wasn't exactly freaking out. I was more . . . incredulous. The prospect of your mother having another child in the abstract isn't so frightening. What was strange was entertaining the prospect when you thought—completely assumed—that that ship was _docked_. There was no way I had even acknowledged that as a possibility for the future; quite frankly, my mother was older now and settled in. With life in general. I mean, if I _was_ to have a sibling, there would be a _seventeen_ _year_ age gap between us.

I shook my head, feeling silly for even thinking about it. Just because Alice had said something on the matter, didn't mean I had to get all funny about it and tarnish the limited time I had to spend with Renee.

My brain fired back at me, however, as stubborn as ever, the nagging feeling I was trying to banish. The one that made sense of Alice's words and could see the very real possibility that there was a chance that she was right.

You couldn't exactly predict all of Renee's upcoming behaviour, events, thoughts and likes.

And that was terrifying. Especially now, in the situation I was in.

Wouldn't it be easier just to ask my mother? It wasn't like I had trouble talking with her about anything; this shouldn't be any different. If I was wrong, she'd probably laugh. I'd feel like an idiot, but she'd brush it off. And if Alice _was_ right . . .

. . . The reality of that possibility wasn't fully there . . .

Then I had a right to know. As quickly as possible, so I could then get my head around it and get all the information on the matter.

Now that I'd come to that conclusion, I shied away from the subject again and thought back to my friend instead. She was still with the four strange—but sort of nice, I supposed—people she'd been with for the majority of the day.

I'd managed to excuse myself eventually and I'd come up to my bedroom for some form of refuge. It was easy enough for me to be around Alice's new friends. Conversation with them wasn't exactly hard—even Stacey's cynical way of delivering things was catching after talking with her for a while. I had just had enough of the crowd for the time being. Sometimes a gathering could be agreeable to me for a limited time; then I liked to shrink back away to the shadows. It was just how I was.

I was watching through the window the way the clouds formed as they slowly disappeared—almost like a mirage, it was so mysteriously beautiful—when I brief knock at the door had me snap my attention back into the room, like a stretched rubber band, pushed too far. My eyes strayed to the white door, and I cleared my throat softly before calling out moderately.

"Come in," I encouraged gently, already knowing who it was.

The door moved aside as it was pushed open softly, and Alice's head peeked in through the gap to look at me.

"Hey," I smiled, noting her wide, cautious eyes as they stared at my face.

She smiled slightly in response, natural for her, and took a careful step into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her without turning around or breaking our gaze.

"How are you?" she said immediately after, stepping further into the room. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding, assuring her completely—or so I thought. She still looked a little watchful, her eyes observing my expression.

"What are you doing up here?" I asked politely. My first objective in asking was simply because I was indeed curious as to the reason. The second was to prevent her from commenting on the mysterious matter—that was surely to do with me—that was making her so precautious.

She got right into it, taking good use of the invitation I'd handed her.

"Well, most importantly, I wanted to just check up on you so you wouldn't forget the fact that I _can_ actually be a good friend and don't necessarily ditch my friend when I'm at her own house . . . At her own invitation."

"Hey, you know it's not like that," I began. "I don't think—"

She cut me off. "Yeah, yeah, I know. You're too delightfully understanding for your own good. But, the other two things were basically of equal importance."

I waited, and then rolled my eyes when she didn't continue. "Alice!" I reprimanded.

She bit her lip. "Well, you see, I think I should inform you that I have also come up on the request of Renee, who is wondering where you've got to and is wanting to speak to you, apparently, as quickly as possible."

Now I understood her hesitance. "Oh," I mumbled. That sort of set in stone my previous conclusion I had formed. I supposed I really would have to talk to her at some stage, sooner then later.

"But," Alice said, a lot more brightly now she'd revealed the rocky bit. "I wanted to let you know that Leon and all his friends have gone home now—and that they said goodbye." She ambled forward and sat lightly on the bed next to me, looking up happily. "And that I might have been given his number. For you, of course. From him." She held out something small that was in her hand.

And smiled angelically.

"Wait, _what_?" I said, confused at what she was saying; she'd spat it out in such a rush. I eyed the folded napkin in her hand with shrewd speculation and wide, wide eyes, waiting for it to sprout wings and fly away.

Alice took a deep breath, and explained further, all the while looking deliriously pleased with herself. "Silly," she said fondly. "You know I told you Leon was into you. And you were talking to him for ages, before you went and hid out here. I said to him you were just shy—which is true, anyway. But then they had to leave and he was a bit put out because the chance that he'll see you again is obviously very slim. So he wanted me to give you this"—she thrust the number in her palm under my eyes for emphasis—"and to tell you it was nice meeting you. Oh, and Vanessa thinks you're really nice—I like her a lot. I really think she might end up being a new pen pal of mine or something."

I was sort of speechless.

"Hold up, Alice," I managed to get out, looking at her like she had lost her mind. "I never said I liked him."

"Nooooo," she drawled out through pursed lips. Then she wore a twisted, secret smile on her lips. "But he totally likes _you_! And, come on—he is really hot. Like, _yum_." Her grin grew. "He's just one of the many, many lovely Floridian boys who have lived in this place since birth that you turned down collectively when you hightailed to Forks."

Then she took my hand in one of hers and turned it over, slipping the napkin into my grasp and curling my fingers over it.

"There's no harm in keeping it," she pointed out as I stared down at my hand. "You could just be long-distance friends. I'm sure he would be fine with that."

My eyes snapped back to hers. "But you said—"

"Yeah, and it's true. You can just _tell_ that he does like you. But that doesn't mean anything in the scale of things. After not seeing you in two weeks—and this has nothing to do with you, it's just reality, since you are a gorgeous, smart girl—he will probably get caught up with someone else, and then maybe you do give him a call, and he'll smile and you can just get to know each other as friends." She shrugged. "You seemed to enjoy speaking to him."

"Yeah, he was a nice guy," I said honestly. "Nice. That's about it." I bit my lip, and then straightened my shoulders, scrunching the napkin that was in my fist into a tight ball as I did so. "I mean . . . Alice; did you think he meant it when he said he thinks he knew me?"

Alice perked up even more, her eyes sparkling. "Oh!" she said. "Oh, I forgot—yeah, I think he really did. Because Renee said she knew someone related to him or something, when he was leaving with the others . . . It would make sense, if that was the case."

I nodded slowly, still clearly unsure. Then I shook my head.

"Oh well," I said. "It's not really that important. Yes, it was enjoyable talking to them, and I guess it made things interesting." I paused, and then turned my head to look at Alice. She was looking at the floor.

"Al?" I checked.

"Hm?" she said, snapping her attention to me, her eyes innocent.

"Did you get Sean's number?"

Her facial expressions didn't change for a moment. I stared as her frozen façade slowly melted as she gave me a small smile.

"You know what?" she said. "I didn't. I didn't get anything off him at all." Then she let out one hysterical giggle.

It made me worried.

And confused, particularly due to her earlier . . . revelation . . . on the matter.

She gazed up at me, and then laughed weakly. "No," she said, shaking her head forcefully. "I told you not to worry about that. It ended up that I accidentally blurted out something about Jasper when we were talking, and so, naturally, he wanted to know who he was." She shrugged, completely carefree about it. "It's not like I was going to lie—that would entail that I would want something from him, something secret, which is not true. And he was fine about it—he admitted he really likes someone locally as well." She grinned. "So we talked more and I told him all about Jasper, and he told me about this girl, Emily. It was nice. Completely stupid for the both of us, but nice."

I stared, unable to say anything in my stunned silence.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry for playing with your expectations!" Alice almost wailed, but then she was giggling at herself, for reasons that weren't yet clear. She shook her head, breathing deep, her laughter light and weak.

When she was once again calm and composed, she turned to me almost apologetically.

"Really, I am sorry for making you confused. But don't be." She shrugged her shoulders. "It was just my true Florida experience. The thing is, he was so nice about everything; as soon as I mentioned Jasper, of course I wasn't able to shut up about him. But he understood and listened. Actually, he's a good guy." She frowned.

"So . . ." My brain whirled as I tired to catch up on what was happening. What had happened. "Why didn't you get his number, then, if he was so nice? I mean, as friends?"

She smiled. "I didn't feel the need to. Funny enough, he didn't feel the need to either. I'm not ruling out all the possibilities; we might catch up again in the future. But . . . no. No, didn't need to."

I couldn't help but look at her incredulously.

She scrunched her nose up and covered her face with her small hands, peeking through her fingers to look at me. "Ugh," she squeaked. "I know, I know it was weird. But then it wasn't. Nothing happened, so it didn't matter. And not only that, I didn't _want_ anything to happen, I wouldn't have _let_ anything happen, and _he_ wouldn't have done anything, anyway." She let her hands fall, and then bit her lip, not looking me in the eye.

"You know what?" she finally said quietly, staring up at me again.

"What?"

"I miss Jasper," she admitted like a complaint, and then laughed at her stupidity. "I'm so mean! I mean, it's not like he will know about it, and at the end of the day, even if Jasper did find out, it wouldn't matter. But still . . ."

Pretty baffled at this point, with a friend who was always somewhat collected and was currently falling to bits, I ended up joining in her laughter.

We laughed together, probably the effect of too much time out in the sun, both of us almost in hysterics.

"Come on," Alice gasped, her smile huge, lifting herself off the bed. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. "You have to go talk with Renee."

With my grin still plastered across my face, I was unable to stop beaming even as my insides seemed to curl.

Alice, understanding in her eyes, gave me a reassuring smile before sending me off downstairs with the ghost and memory of our laughter as my only aid.

This would be interesting.

* * *

**AN: Time passes. Of course it does. Because I am an impatient idiot. Don't worry about the cut-off—just read on, I say.**

-------

_Monday morning_

EPOV

The hall was as overcrowded as any other day as I slipped and weaved my way throughout the student body. The Monday morning was wet, rainy and just as repugnant as the need to go to school in the first place was.

People stared as I walked past. This never really bothered me. The difference was, this time, the whole atmosphere, attitude and the way in which they stared was completely different—something I had never experienced before. I also was barely paying attention to it; the stares and low murmurings where at the back of my mind, hardly present at all in my preoccupied demeanour.

I was wondering where she was. I had arrived later at school then what was considered normal for me, not worrying greatly because I knew she only scraped it in a few minutes before the bell rang. However, as my eyes scanned over wide eyes and entertained faces, and I kept going, still searching for a glimpse, I found nothing.

She wasn't here.

I was confused, still relentlessly looking for her, and getting mildly irritated at the people in front of me who kept stopping suddenly in the middle of the hallway to converge with already-formed groups. I'd already bumped into a small girl, who looked up at me with shocked, surprised eyes, before I could murmur out an apology. _Why wasn't she here_?

I supposed it wasn't as big a deal as I was making it out to be. So what if she didn't turn up to school today? She probably had come down with a virus or a cold or . . .

I halted my movements suddenly, a realization dawning on me that I hadn't yet given thought to. I had almost forgotten the incident involving Bella that had occurred on Friday. Almost.

Was she purposely avoiding school to prevent confrontation over the whole thing?

It had basically blown over by now, just as I had predicted. I'd only caught one misfortunate guy who held a copy of the offending picture in his grasp like it was worth anything, and after one look from me, he'd immediately dropped it on the floor and walked away.

It was old news now.

Just not to me. I still didn't have any lead as to who would be pitiful enough for such a low jab. And, after having to console Bella and to witness what sort of control something like that had over her, I was not exactly going to want to drop the matter entirely.

The bell finally did ring, the sound loud and blaring. Sighing inwardly, I strolled over in the direction of my locker to deposit my bag and collect the correct books for my classes.

Jasper was the one who found me there.

"Hey," he said, but he wasn't alone. Laurent had been walking in stride with him until Jasper stopped—I smirked to myself as I watched him pause and then walk away.

"What's up?" I muttered.

Jasper grinned. "Nothing. But, hey, you sure as hell turned your reputation around in such a short time. I've never seen them look so pissed."

I knew which 'them' he was referring to.

I shrugged, barely interested at all. They could get fucked for all I cared.

Jasper, bringing out his inner idiot, continued on in his monologue. "I mean, it's not like half the school doesn't still hang onto every word you say or anything—I wonder if that will change, though? Do you think they'll all pick sides? Bet you ten bucks there will be a huge debate about it between friendship groups: Cullen vs. Groupies. Which side will win out?"

I slapped my book into his chest sharply, but didn't bother looking at him.

He didn't take the hint. "It's all Tanya's doing, of course. The others are just following the minority, like the worthless shitheads they are. Hey, did you end up finding out who created those pictures?"

I closed my locker, turning to him with raised eyebrows. "Why?" I asked. "Do you know anything about it?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, I've got no clue. I just thought you would by now."

I shrugged. "Guess not," I said.

Jasper paused, and then opened his mouth to speak, almost looking hesitant about it. "So what are you going to do?" he asked, without any sarcasm or added wit.

"About what?" I asked, generally surprised.

"Well . . . you've never had such a huge falling out before. This isn't just between you and Tanya—it's like it's you against the whole lot of them. Laurent was talking about the whole fiasco with James as well that took place last week."  
Mild irritation flooded through my system at the name; I hadn't given him a scrap of thought lately and the reminder of what had taken place wasn't pretty.

The look on my face tipped him off.

"That bad, huh?" he said.

"You know that time, at that party, when James set fire to some girl's hair, threw up over all the food, and tripped over that shoe and crashed through the window?"

"_Oh_."

I nodded. "Worse."

The hallway was rapidly becoming more and more desolate as the amount of time after the bell increased with each passing moment. Jazz let out a low whistle and shook his head.

"That sucks."

"What have you got now?" I wondered, not wanting to dwell on James and his disgusting mannerisms.

"Uh . . . Gym. And I'm late. Three extra laps coming up."

"You won't be late if you leave right now," I pointed out.

"No, you're right—but I will be, since I want to know what's up with you. Was Emmett's thing really that bad? It can't have been worse than that Aunt of yours."

I snorted at the memory. "No, it wasn't that bad at all. Loads of relatives and all that, more than I can recall the names of. But, like you said, it was Emmett's thing—of course it wouldn't be boring."

"You didn't answer my first question though." Jasper looked at me levelly, waiting.

"I'm fine," I enforced, frowning. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Where's that Bella girl gone, then?" he queried, peering at me with narrowed eyes. "Aren't you two always around each other?"

"No," I scoffed. "Not always. Besides, I have no idea. She's not at school, as far as I know."

Jasper smirked at me, smiling deviously.

"What?"

"Gotta go, man, catch you later," was all he said, before he turned and walked away.

I frowned to myself, staring at the floor for a moment as I tried to yet again think of where she could be and why she wasn't here.

And also why it mattered to me so much.

The days without her had seemed too long for my sanity and the lack of her appearance today seemed too sour to be acceptable. I briefly considered calling her. It wouldn't seem too weird if I did that, would it? But then on the other hand, I didn't want to be pushy or desperate if all she was doing was taking a break from her normal routine, which after a second of mulling, I realised that that now included me as well.

I had become a strange sort of routine.

Peculiarly on-edge, I set off to class ten minutes late, trying to get my thoughts back in order.

-----------

BPOV _(Currently back in Forks)_

I stared up at my ceiling, contemplating the words I had just read and taken in. The book was resting on my stomach, as I lay on my back in my bed which I hadn't _un_occupied for a good fourteen hours—not including the brief toilet break I'd had.

I felt disgusting. Reading helped get away from where I currently was; it took me away, far away, so I could somehow forget the fact I felt icky and frumpy and like I was having the worst hair day in history (my hair really was nightmarish, standing up on end like something had been nesting in it).

Monday morning.

Wait, no—one glance at the clock on my nightstand informed me it was in fact now Monday afternoon.

I'd slept through most of the day, and was currently still clad in my pyjamas, and still somehow in bed. At least I was awake, and had been for a while.

My exhaustion might have had something to do with the fact that I had stumbled into the apartment at three o'clock in the morning, weary and bleary-eyed, accompanied by a lethargic Alice who wasn't that much better off.

We'd missed our intended flight home. By almost an hour.

And although in most situations regarding this it would seem correct to pinpoint the blame onto Renee's shoulders, this time I could hardly lay her at fault one bit.

Oh, we'd certainly talked. I couldn't recall having such a huge discussion with her for years. And, after sorting through the major issue that lay in the way of everything else, we started talking about all the other small things leading into it.

I was _supposed_ to have been going to school today.

Sunday had been strange. With newfound knowledge scattering my brain's thoughts, and a delightful Alice buzzing around, I'd basically done the smart thing and just followed her lead throughout the day. And then, when it came the right time to get ready for departure, my mother had pulled out the same going-away act that she performed every time; only, for this once, she'd said some very valid points, and we'd really needed to talk it all out.

Alice was forever patient, naturally.

I picked the book back up from my belly and stared at the open pages. Sighing, I snapped it shut and threw it onto the opposite side of the bed.

There was a sudden knock at the door.

"Come in," I murmured, waiting for Alice to slither in and demand I get up out of bed. I supposed it really was time I did, before it was night again.

The door cracked open and I almost died on the spot when I registered who it was. It was almost as shocking as what I presumed seeing someone dead would be like; not realistic. It couldn't be reality. There was no way that could be.

"What are you doing here?!" I demanded, shocked, desperately trying to pull my bed covers up over my body as self-consciousness wrapped up my entire self, from my toes to my head, covering me in embarrassment.

Edward stood in my doorway, eyebrows raised, looking almost as surprised as I was. Oddly hesitant, he opened his mouth with silent, murmured words and then clamped his lisp together softly.

Laughter could be heard behind him.

As my brown eyes locked to his green ones, and they stayed there, staring into their depths, and the heat flooded up my neck and pooled in my cheeks, Alice stuck her head around Edward and winked my way.

I barely gave her a glance. I was too busy staring at Edward in outrage, and too occupied at having him stare back at me in the same manner.

"Thought that would wake you up," Alice giggled, with a small, angelic smile, and then she slipped out and shut the door behind her.

Leaving us alone.

It barely registered. I couldn't believe he was here.

Suddenly, his surprised expression melted and his gaze went on to dissect my own; a tight smirk was making its way known on his lips.

"Hello," he finally said, and gave in as he laughed lightly my way.

I was frozen, too scared to move, worrying about the realisation that I probably looked as bad as I thought I did.

And, hell, it felt like I hadn't seen him in _ages_. Standing there, snickering, his face warm and eyes bright, clad in dark clothing, I felt a stab of despair as I took in his appearance; no wonder he was considered the King of Forks High.

And that same guy had just slipped into my bedroom like it was the most casual thing in the entire world. Like it was normal. Easy. Natural.

I made a strangled noise in the back of my throat.

His laughter died down but his pleasant smile didn't waver. He waited, almost as if he expected me to say something. I couldn't keep my eyes from his face.

"Get out," I ordered as soon as I found my voice.

He held his hand up in front of him, grinning. "No greeting? That's all I get?"

"Get out," I repeated. "Get out **now**."

His smile simply grew. "You know, I really _have_ missed you."

"Why'd she let you in?" I squeaked, curling my shoulders in defensively as I sat up more, pulling the blankets along with me. "Why would she do that? Get out."

"And here I was," Edward said, "All by myself today at school, repeatedly telling myself you had a perfectly justifiable reason for missing class and basically ditching me for the day . . . And I find you like this."

I scowled at him. "Shut up," I told him. "I have good reason for being like this. Now, if you'd kindly leave and GO AWAY, I'd rather appreciate it."

Panic set in as everything caught up with me at once. What was Edward doing, standing here, at my home, in my bedroom? Why would Alice let him do that? Why would he be here in the first place?

He'd been in my home. He's seen where I lived. He was _seeing_ where I lived—he was seeing where I slept, no less.

"Why so mean?" he asked, taking a few steps closer to the bed.

I shrunk back automatically.

And, Christ, I had to look completely sloppy right now, didn't I?

Did he think my apartment was weird? Did he think my _bedroom_ was weird? It didn't look like he was even giving it a second's thought, though. He was just treating it like it didn't even matter.

"Argh, go away!" I almost shouted at him.

It seemed that, the more I yelled at him, the greater his confidence grew. He strolled up casually now, complete carefree, and even had the nerve to sit at the foot of my bed.

Just a metre away.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head at him, mumbling silly threats. "What if I didn't want you in my home, huh? Or my _bedroom_, for that matter? Did you ever think of that? Bedrooms are real private." I grabbed a pillow next to me and hugged it to my chest protectively.

His hand reached out to rub my foot that was underneath the blanket. "Calm down," he told me. "I didn't think it was that big a deal—and it's not like you haven't seen my bedroom, either."

And slept on his bed.

My cheeks got infinitely redder.

He looked around now, not in a nosey way, but with polite, moderate interest. "It's actually a rather nice bedroom," he noted, and then turned to look back at me. He smiled. "It's scary how much it's like you."

"Oh," I mumbled, "And you would know what's like me perfectly, wouldn't you?"

He ignored that. "So, dearest Bella, how was Florida? Rather eventful, I heard—or at least, that was what Alice told me."

I gave him one long, hard look, and then summed it up in one sentence in a flat voice:

"Renee's pregnant."

**Sooooo evil. Ahem. **

**Sorry for the massive gap in updating. Please, please, before you bombard me with dozens of questions all related to confusion, let me just inform you that the next chapter links up to this one directly, and fills in the gap of time I skipped. Because Edward and Bella are both going to have to have a massive talk now, aren't they, about their lovely weekends.**

**Oh—and a little heads up? The most massive thing everyone has been dying to happen? Will happen soon. Very soon. Not next chapter, but perhaps the one after.**

**Siiiighhhhh.**

**Love you all—sorry if I didn't reply to your review. I love them all lots and I try my best **


	21. Discussion

**Soooo… I have nothing to say. For once. Ha!**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

21. Discussion 

-----------------

_He ignored that. "So, dearest Bella, how was Florida? Rather eventful, I heard—or at least, that was what Alice told me."_

_I gave him one long, hard look, and then summed it up in one sentence in a flat voice:_

"_Renee's pregnant."_

-----------------

BPOV

It's amazing how you can become so caught up in what you're saying that you forget the circumstances and state you're stuck in. All the insecurities and nagging thoughts and worries and uncomfortable awkwardness? It was pushed aside, cast away completely, forgotten like a buried memory.

Edward had a way of doing that effortlessly—he just put people at ease. Or, at least, it was that way with me when we got talking. It was so difficult to feel discomfited when I got into conversation with him. Everything about him was so unbelievable and yet at the same time, he acted so normal.

It was like that now; as I spilled to him my revelations the weekend away had set into light for me. He was completely absorbed with what I was saying, listening intently, being patient when I paused, contributing helpfully so it wasn't just a one-sided speech.

He seemed genuinely shocked when I blurted out my mother's new state of being. But then again, why wouldn't he be?

"What?" he'd said immediately after I deadpanned my intriguing summary of my time away.

"Renee," I repeated dully. "She's pregnant. Knocked up, or whatever. Nine weeks. _Pregnant_."

I groaned, burying my face into my hands as my elbows rested on my knees. My hair spilled out in front of me, creating a curtain of muddy brown to provide extra cover.

"Hang on a second," Edward began, and I both heard and felt the bed creak as he shifted himself so he could sit closer to me. He patted me knee, trying to get some form of response before he spoke. "Renee's pregnant? That's Phil's baby, right?"

My head snapped up to face him. I looked up at his calm face, still cradling either side of my face with my hands so my back hunched over.

"What is with that face?" I snapped, and my voice was alive again with feeling. "Yes, of course it's Phil's—who else's would it be?" I looked back down to my comforter, my tone now dropping morosely as I mumbled. "I mean, naturally, she left it until last minute to tell me. Alice guessed—she's so freaking in tune with everything, it's scary. I tried bringing it up before Sunday, but the opportunity never came up—at one point, I thought we were nearly there, she'd called me down to talk with me. But she was just wondering if she'd offended me with all these people she'd invited down that day and I told her it was fine. But on Sunday . . ." I shook my head. "I don't know, maybe I'm freaking out over nothing, but I reckon this is a big deal. I'm _seventeen_. I don't want a baby sibling! That's ridiculous."

Edward sighed quietly as I scowled at my bed. He'd tolerantly let me get it out without interruptions, although I was sure I might be confusing him a little.

I waited for him to speak. After a long moment, he did.

"Bella . . . I don't mean to be rude when I ask this, but how old is your mother?" He voiced it so evenly and smoothly and politely that I slowly and carefully peered back up at him hesitantly.

His eyes were intense but gentle and rather lovely.

"Thirty-seven," I mumbled, watching his face cautiously.

He gazed back at me peacefully. "So," he said quietly, his voice reasoning, "you don't think she might be old enough to be in control over her decisions? If she wants to have another baby, then maybe she's able to make that right decision? She may be getting older now, but that doesn't mean her life has to be over."

I looked back at him glumly, only half-aware at the amazing way he could deliver things so evenly without causing offence. It was neutral. It was nice.

It was horrible.

"I don't—I don't think—"

Edward smiled softly and reached his hand towards me to gently ruffle my disastrous hair.

I couldn't keep my lips from sliding into a lopsided, pathetically weepy grimace.

He grinned then, and suddenly he was moving again, half crawling over my legs as he gracefully manoeuvred himself so he was at my side, sitting parallel to me.

He reached his arm around me this time, pulling me into his side so I was submerged in his nice warmth.

"Come on, it's alright," he grinned kindly. He ducked his head to look me in the eye, squeezing my side in reassurance.

"I don't know what to think," I mumbled, turning my head to look at him, finally straightening up a little. "I don't even know if I handled it the right way when she told me. I hardly said anything at all. And, of course I know she's an adult and she can make her own decisions. I _want_ to be happy for her. But I just . . ." I trailed off, unable to complete the sentence. I didn't _know_ how I felt.

Edward nodded. "It's understandable. How you feel about something is always valid, even if you don't think it makes sense. And maybe it's important you _do_ talk to your mother more about this. It could clear things up for you a lot, and I'm sure she would rather know how you are feeling about all of this."

I squirmed against his side. "But I feel stupid. For moping, I mean. Am I moping? I don't even know."  
"Hey, you shouldn't be feeling silly. I'm not trying to freak you out more, but this is still kinda a big deal. I mean, where talking about an eventual _person_. I'd say that's pretty huge."

I let out a shrill laugh. "Huh. Right. Definitely freaking me out, Edward."

He scrunched up his nose. "Damn. Sorry. I'm doing my best here."

This time my laugh was a lot more relaxed and genuine. The poor guy. I hadn't planned on throwing this onto him so quickly and so clumsily.

"No, you're fine," I sighed, leaning into him, trying to get all the comfort from him that he offered. "Even if you do come stumbling into my bedroom when I'm obviously not prepared for company." I made a face as I went to swipe at my face with the palm of my hand.

His hand caught mine and stopped it.

He pulled it down and held it as he talked.

"Oh, do be quiet," he chuckled, rolling his eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know, it's possible to take kindness to the point of blindness."

He just smiled at me.

"So are you saying I am no longer welcome?"

"I'm saying that you never _were_ welcome. I fail to recall the moment I invited you in here."

My hand was dropped by him as he made a big deal of getting up from his spot by my side. I missed his arm around me the moment he removed it.

"Alright, then," he said, smirking over his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I'll leave. I'm obviously doing no good here at all."

"No, no!" I grabbed his arm, not letting him get away completely. "Stop. I'm sorry. You can stay now."

He laughed, relaxing again, but his arm didn't go back around me. I grinned, too, for a while, but then I sighed and my smile dimmed a little.

"There's more, isn't there?"

There was no point in hiding anything from him—he picked up on my lies from a mile away. His eyes were slowly scrutinising my face and the truth was already spelt clearly across it. God, I really had missed him.

"Tell me," he demanded. He was waiting.

I shrugged my shoulders, and then broke my gaze away from his. I stared up at me ceiling. "Well, do you remember—and this was just in passing that I mentioned it, so it's alright if you forget . . . Do you remember me telling you that the whole reason this visit took place was because Renee had called in a panic because Phil had broken his leg?"

Edward stared for a second at the side of my face—I could sense his deep gaze on me.

When I peeked down at him, realisation flooded through his features.

"Oh," he muttered, his mouth thinning into a straight line. "Really?"

I nodded, rolling my eyes. "Main reason I was so late leaving Florida. _I_ couldn't even remember it clearly, until Sunday, what she'd said to me over the phone. I mean, it sounds stupid to forget something that big, but I think it was because she didn't mention it since that point in time. At all. Probably because she couldn't recall the story she'd told me. It is so stupid she lied about him breaking his leg. Don't get me wrong—he did injure it. And perhaps there was a scare and they seriously considered there was possible breakage . . . But it's not fair she used that against me when they hadn't even been to the doctors. It was just an excuse. I couldn't get over it . . ."

I shook my head unhappily.

Edward snorted. "That sucks. Bet that was a pleasant conversation."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Come off it—I'm used to her being clingy. And believe me, I don't care what you or anyone else thinks—she's a really good person. She was a great mum. And I love her heaps . . . But she screws up. All the time; and I guess this is just something humans have to deal with. We all make mistakes, right? But I still can't believe she would tell me something like that. We had a _long_ talk. I thank God every day for giving me someone as great as Alice; she was totally patient through it all, even thought it messed up with her schedule as well. So I've left on fairly rocky terms with my mum. And I'm just thinking—if she displays this sort of behaviour and is so prone for being all over the place and making mistakes, how can I be sure this baby isn't some sort of fling because she wanted something new in her life, and she won't get bored of it afterwards?"

Edward let out a huge, frustrated gush of air. "I suppose you can't be completely sure," he acquiesced, "But perhaps you're just going to have to trust her on this. And have you forgotten Phil? You say he's nice; if he's any decent guy, he'll be there for support. It's his kid too, remember. They'll work it out."

I gave him a long, thoughtful stare.

"You know," I said conversationally. "I was under the impressions that all seventeen-year-old boys were immature losers. Where did all those kind words of wisdom come from?"

"You may be under that impression, but there are some redeemable qualities we can sometimes possess. I am honestly offended."

I pulled a face at him. I was over talking about the things I'd been brooding for an amount of time that was already too long. Optimistically, I tried to change the subject, letting brightness leak into my tone.

"So," I said, "How was your day? Anything exciting?"

It was his turn to make a face. "You left me, remember? _Jasper_ was even wondering what was wrong with me. And, of course, I was getting weird looks from just about everyone . . . Well, it seems news travels fast, particularly when Tanya throws a spat."

I laughed, but couldn't shake off the remorse I felt. I hadn't given school one thought since the disrupt with Renee had begun, and recalling the disastrous day I'd had Friday and the mess I'd left behind for Edward now to face by himself today, made me feel like crap.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "It's pretty selfish of me, but I forgot what happened between you and your friends. Gosh, it wasn't too bad, was it?"

Edward shook his head. "It was fine, really. Quit apologising. I should be the one continuing to apologise to you—you are aware, right, that if it wasn't for me, all this mess wouldn't have occurred for you? I'm talking about Friday, by the way, just to clarify."

"Of course it wasn't your fault," I scoffed. "Sop being an idiot."

"You're calling me an idiot now?"

"Yeah, I am." I grinned. "_I'm_ not afraid to call things how they are—even when it comes to Edward Cullen, it seems." My face straightened out as I regained my clarity. "But, still, I do feel bad. Since you've known me, can you honestly say anything good has happened for you?"

"Sure can," he insisted. "You should hear all the new rumours going around about me—I think you've helped boost up my popularity, all credit to you. I think everyone was just _waiting_ for something big to happen—like a major falling out. It's rather excellent."

"I'm being serious," I complained.

"So am I," he defended. "When you've grown up with the same people your entire life, change can be a welcoming thing. Nothing is ever predictable when it comes to you."

I gave him a patronising stare until he relented.

"If you want to know about my day, and also want an interesting story, I'm sorry to say you're going to be disappointed. Your time away was obviously a lot more dramatic than mine. Today was like any other day. And my weekend?" He stopped his flow of words to shudder. "You'll be glad you were no where near Forks—my aunt was down to visit. She's rather . . . overbearing. Not to mention a whole other bunch of weirdos that makeup the _prestigious_ Cullen Family . . ."

"Oh, that's right!" I said. "You had Emmett's party thing-o on. How did that go?"

It was after the words left my mouth that the important bit of information—like the fact he hadn't actually told me about Emmett's elaborate birthday party—dawned on me.

"Oh," I mumbled, blushing.

Edward gave me a questioning look.

"Err . . . Rosalie dropped by . . .was it Thursday night? She needed to pick up her hair straightner she'd left here. And, of course, she ended up spilling about what occasion forced her to go pick out a dress for herself . . . an actual _dress_ dress. Seriously, how esteemed are your Cullen birthday gatherings _really_?"

Edward gave me a small smile. "Right. And they're not that bad—usually. But Esme just went a little overboard this time, probably because she finally got the opportunity to throw Emmett a birthday party; something she hasn't had the honour of doing since he was twelve."

I nodded. "Fair enough. So I'm presuming it went smoothly?"

He chuckled. "Definitely. It was pretty much perfect—and even I'm admitting that. You should've seen it . . ."

He trailed off and I couldn't help the question that I blurted out gracelessly.

"Oh. Well, who did you take to this thing? I was under the impression that it was a coupes do?"

I was completely mortified that I even had the guts to say something that stupid. Just because it was something he hadn't informed me of, didn't mean I had to get all snippy about it. And the curiosity I felt about it? Sure, it was present, but I hadn't thought it so overbearing that would actually ask that silly question right-out.

Before I could regret it too much, he was answering.

"No one," he said simply, sounding a little affronted. "Who did you expect me to take?" His voice evened out as he continued onwards. "It didn't necessarily have to be couples. Plus, after hearing my aunt go on about how I needed a partner, I was sorely glad I was without one."

"Hmmm," I mumbled, directing it across the room.

There were a few moments where an awkward silence seemed to be somewhat prominent; of course, it didn't last long.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it," Edward said suddenly. "I honestly didn't give it a thought. You were going to be away, anyway." He shrugged, tossing the matter aside. "You would've hated it as well."

I picked up on the meaning his words meant immediately; of course I did.

My voice casually, completely offhand, I replied: "Yeah? Before you just said I should've seen it."

He smirked at me, even though _my_ gaze wasn't directed at him. "Yes, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't have hated it. Frighteningly impressed? Definitely. But it's too grand for your taste—aren't you the girl that had to hide out at some low-key party at some loser's home because she couldn't stand it?"

"Low-key?" I objected. I recalled the masses of people in that grand, magnificent house; the music, the food and drinks; the complete and total other-worldly feel to it . . . "That was anything but low-key."

"Trust me, it was in comparison to this. It would make you uncomfortable—do you really think I'd be selfish enough to drag you along to something simply for my sake? This is, of course, only relevant if I had asked you to come, which, of course, I didn't, seeing as not only it would've been the wrong thing for you, but also because it would imply things that aren't true."

It was amazing. Simply amazing. This guy just picked up on everything that was to do with me. There was so much Edward seemed to know about me—little things, small, inconsequential matters—that I'd never even told him about. He just figured it out, all on his own.

Our conversation was stretching on and on, covering a whole heap of topics; perhaps it was lucky that Alice chose that exact moment to pop her head inside my door once again and interrupt.

She peered around cautiously, appraising the both of us on my bed with wide, innocent eyes.

When she saw that the pair of us were both silent—me, giving her a knowing stare, a complete and total mess and rather calm about it; Edward, probably mildly surprised and looking perfect, the bastard—sitting next to each other and staring at her, she had the decency to grin sheepishly. She dropped the caution and stepped fully into the room.

"Well, hey there, starshines," she enthused, beaming wildly. _She'd_ freshened up since last night at least, changing from the tracksuit she'd worn into a white cotton dress that made the angelic side of her more pronounced. "I was just . . . checking in."

I rolled my eyes at her. That move only boosted her confidence; why was it that whenever I displayed the slightest irritation, bewilderment or disbelief, people seemed to feel more comfortable being a nuisance?

Alice drifted over to the bed and joined us there, curling her legs underneath us as she continued to smile delightfully over at Edward and I.

"So, Bella, I see you have gotten over yourself long enough to seem comfortable in your comfies—you know, we all get caught out in our ratty Pjs at least once in our youth. Just think, it can only get worse when you're older. You should check out my Nan in the mornings." She grimaced dramatically, shuddering.

Before I could bite out my reply, she was resuming her chipper dialogue.

"So what are you two up to?" she asked. "You know, right, that it's already past four o'clock. Edward came straight here after school, Bella," Alice inserted virtuously to me. "Anyway, I gave you guys half an hour, but I'm bored and I came in here to see what's happening. Anything interesting I should know about?"

I glanced warily at Edward; he was grinning at my best friend with affable amusement. It seemed those two were beginning to get along—not that they ever had not, exactly, but it was still nice to see.

"Not really," I said truthfully, shrugging. "You already know everything I filled Edward in on."

"Hmmph," Alice mused. "Well, I've got something—cat lady is back!"

"What?" My eyebrows rose up in the air. "Seriously? I thought she might not have been coming back."

Alice shook her head, trying not to laugh. "Nope. She's here alright." Turning to Edward, she spoke to him while I half groaned/laughed. "There's this lady on the same floor as us who owns this really weird cat. Her granddaughter is living with her half the time, but she's okay—it's this lady that's weird. Seriously weird. I mean, every time I bump into her, we share the same conversation."

"It's not just that," I took over, shaking my head at Edward. "If that was just the case, she'd be a nice, weird old lady. But seriously, that cat of hers is _creepy_. Every single time I come up to my apartment when it's past eight at night, he's there, outside her door, just staring at me. With these big, golden eyes, and I just freak out."

Edward laughed.

Alice flicked his arm. "No, seriously, buddy. This lady smells like plant extracts and always wears the same hat."

"_And_," I emphasised, "I was totally sympathising with her and that awful cat of hers, until it peed outside our door and I walked out in my bare feet and stood in it. And the lady was just there, silently watching while I realised why my foot was wet."

Alice and I were both in a fit of giggles by now, and Edward was watching on with that special grin of his, clearly enjoying our hysterical reaction.

"Oh my God," Alice gasped, clutching at her sides. "She didn't just realise—she came hopping inside, exclaiming loudly about toilet training and hygiene, and ended up tripping over the coffee table and landing into the couch."

"I can't believe she's back," I said once things had calmed down.

"Well, believe it. Maybe she bought along with her a parrot this time or something because she swapped pets with some wild gypsies she met on her travels. One can only hope."

Edward shook his head. "You are both so mean," he muttered, smirking. "She's just a harmless old lady who is probably quite lonely."

"You can go and befriend her then, Edward," I told him. "She's all yours."

He ignored what I said.

For the remainder of the afternoon, the three of us talked and laughed and just hung out, basically. I finally had someone to share bemused looks with when Alice said something particularly strange, and Alice seemed pretty pleased she had a new audience to dote on.

It was nice. At some stage I finally made it out of bed and into the shower while Alice fixed something to eat, chattering away with Edward in the kitchen. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror pre-showering, however, no matter how comfortable I claimed to be.

He left promptly at seven, with promises about making an appearance tomorrow morning to pick the pair of us up for school.

* * *

**Okay. There's the second part of the previous chapter. I wanted to write more on this one, but I'm putting it into the next, because from this point onwards things really start to pick up. A lot's going to happen next chappie, so be ready, yeah? I've had enough of the ladi-da stuff. **

**I'm sure you all have, too **

**So let's get ready for Mike to throw a hissy, for Alice to get her feelings hurt, for a confrontation between social groups, a fist fight, an embarrassing conversation that will have Bella permanently blushing . . . Oh joy. **

**Love you! Let me know how you're going, what you're thinking …**

x


	22. Set In Stone

**Wooooo! 2010 **** It feels so weird writing it.**

**Now, because I love you all sooooo much and it's the beginning of a new decade, I've written so much that this chapter is very LOOO-OOO-NNGG. You have been warned. It is also so long that I had to stop it at some stage, so the next chapter includes the rest of everything that was supposed to be in this one. **

**Now tell me . . . Anyone got any new year resolutions?**

22. Set in Stone

"So are you sure Alice is going to be alright?" Edward asked, pulling out from where he'd parked this morning and turning his car around deftly onto the main road.

"One hundred percent," I told him, rolling my eyes. "You do know that Alice and I have successfully gotten ourselves to school without anyone else's help for the past year, right?"

Edward shrugged. "Sure. But I could have waited for her."

I looked down at my hands, chewing my lip thoughtfully as I contemplated Alice's abrupt decline when Edward had arrived out the front of our apartment to pick us up. She'd been fine with the prospect last night, but this morning . . .

"I don't know what was with her," I admitted truthfully, but unworried as Edward began to speed up. "She just said she wasn't anywhere near ready and that we should leave." I glanced up at Edward's side profile, noting how sharp and defined his features were. I shifted in my seat.

A considerate "Hmmm" was all he said in response.

The ride to school wasn't particularly long; given that the trip was such a routinely travelled one, with all the roads and scenery completely familiar, it seemed even shorter. We were half way there before either of us tried to break the comfortable silence we'd lapsed in to.

"So, um . . ." I stared resolutely forward, watching the road disappear underneath the tyres while I scrambled around in my head to find the right words that would prompt the reassurance I wanted to hear, and still somehow make it impossible for further questions. I hadn't forgotten where we were headed.

Edward—perceptive as always—noticed immediately I was holding back.

"Spit it out, Bella," he sighed, reaching down to flick up the heater. He must've noticed that I was shivering before even I had.

I looked up at him and flushed lightly. "Well, no, it's not a big deal," I mumbled defensively, feeling slightly idiotic. "I was just . . . I just wanted to know how—well, you know."

I waited for him to miraculously understand what I was referring to. Considering we were only a few minutes away from Forks High, I would've thought it was obvious.

Apparently not.

"Err . . . No, Bella, I don't," he pointed out, and a reluctant smile made its way onto his face. "What is it?"

I looked up to the ceiling, hating how easily tongue-tied I got over the silliest matters. I took a deep breath before blurting it out in one big gush.

"Well, you know, I haven't been around lately—well, for three days, anyway—and I just don't know what things are like. At school, I mean. Since I left. You know what happened on Friday, and you were here at school yesterday and I was just wondering if you were able to tell me that things are all good now? I want to be prepared and know what I'm going to be faced with, that's all. That sounds stupid, but you know what I mean."

Mercifully, he didn't hesitate in answering, which meant I had very little time to mull over how dim my words were.

"Hey," he said, suddenly a mixture of emotions. I detected both compassion and irritation in his voice alone, and who knew what else he kept hidden from me behind his collected façade?

"Bella," he began again. "You don't have to worry about anything. It's really not a big deal, what happened on Friday. To all of _them_, that is—sorry if that sounded presumptuous." The compassion seemed to be winning out now as he continued. "I know it was a horrible experience for you. But trust me—they'll have more important things to be obsessing over today. You'll be absolutely fine."

His eyes flashed to my face when he sad the last bit, and I met his gaze for a second.

"You're sure?" I checked when his eyes returned to the road.

"Positive."

"So there is no reason for me to be wary? None at all? All the pictures are gone?" I paused, and then muttered, "I don't think I can handle going in there by myself and having to face it all over again."

"Stop it," Edward commanded quietly. "You're just working yourself up. I promise you, Bella, okay? I promise you'll be fine. It'll all be gone. Besides," he added, "You're not going to be alone. You have me now, remember?"

"Right."

"Plus," he said darkly, "I think I'm going to be needing you a lot more than you'll need me. I've rocked the boat now; yesterday was strange enough. Having you with me is going to cause some serious conflict." He seemed to realise that his words could be taken offensively, and hurried to correct himself. "Not that I wouldn't want you with me, by the way. It's sort of set in stone now that we're friends. I sure hope you won't get sick of me."

"Rocked the boat how?" I questioned, wanting the specifics he had in his mind.

He seemed to be careful in formulating his answer.

"Well, since certain . . . _events_ . . . transpired on Friday, there's now a massive change in the way things were in Tanya's social group," he explained.

It didn't escape my notice that he used the term "Tanya's group" instead of "Edward's group"—which was what it really was. It was typical of him to go about it that way in such a casual manner.

"Oh." And I understood—just because I was somewhat nervous didn't mean that I was totally oblivious. Edward's distance from his usual set of friends would definitely stir everyone up. In such a small town, and such a small high school within that tiny town, the people had to find something to fixate their interests on. It was common knowledge what "Tanya's group" was doing, what they were up to. People monitored their every move. And a blow out like this?

It would cause headlines—on the student paper, at least.

I was so thankful to Edward for everything he'd done for me. Apart from all the small (and certainly important) things he did for me effortlessly—like treating me as a normal person and being overly generous about everything—he'd also sided with me immediately without hesitation when a rift was caused. A line was drawn—and I had no idea how indefinitely that line was going to be present—but he could've easily avoided it by just laughing along with his friends on Friday, rolling his eyes at the tasteless picture of me like everyone else.

But he didn't. Instead, he took my hand and led my away from them. Which now put him in a sticky position—not that he seemed to even give it a thought. Secretly, even though it made me guilty, I liked that.

If there was one thing I envied about him more than the rest—the looks, the popularity, the charm, the brains—it was the ease in which he orchestrated himself in life. Even in the short amount of time I'd had to get to know him, I'd picked up on the obvious fact that he had no trouble in doing what he wanted, not caring about the consequences or what people would think of him. Edward didn't care if people followed him or not; if they agreed with what he was doing or didn't understand it. It meant nothing to him. It was probably one of the reasons people looked up to him the way they did.

Unlike so many people our age, he wasn't trying to find himself, or develop a certain characterisation. He was already there.

It made me insanely jealous. I would give anything to be so sure of myself.

I sighed quietly when we pulled into the student lot. School held no interest for me today.

Edward, sensing my distaste, parked the car and smirked at me, jerking his head in the direction out the window.

"Just look at them," he grinned, amused. "They have no clue what they're doing either."

My eyes saw past his reflection in the side window and scanned the smattering of adolescents who were either just beginning to stare at Edward's car curiously, or where already gaping in astonishment for they'd caught sight of me inside it.

It wasn't normal custom to get a lift to school by Cullen. That stuff just didn't happen.

Normally.

His grin widened as he looked at my reaction to the attention, and he winked at me, clearly enjoying it.

"This'll be fun," he said with a gleam.

"Gawd," I muttered. "We can just go and find Alice, can't we?" Surely she'd make things better. Her light, easy way of living through each minute would surely brighten things up.

"Will she be here yet? We're early."

"I suppose not then," I mumbled, glum and bitter. I took a deep, reassuring breath because Edward was already opening his door and sliding outside; the stares hardly bothered him at all. He was around at my door before I'd even unbuckled my seat.

He opened my door, waiting for me to clamber out, that smile lighting up his face. There wasn't a sight in the world I'd seen that was more beautiful than Edward when he was happy.

"Well?" he asked, perhaps _too_ happy. It bugged me that he grinned wider the more uncomfortable I got.

Milking it, he gently took hold of my hand and assisted me carefully in getting out of his car. I didn't know if he did it simply for the eyes watching us, or perhaps to make me more flustered; whichever it was, he did it well.

As soon as I was out, I determinedly grabbed his arm and began pulling him towards the main building. I wanted some form of cover; everything outside was so _open_. It felt so huge and alien.

He smoothly hit the lock button on his car keys as he followed me. I let go of his arm pretty quickly, frighteningly aware of the eyes that followed my every movement. I didn't like this; I wasn't used to this. I'd never been given so much attention before in my entire life. I didn't know how to act.

"Why are they staring?" I hissed quietly to Edward who was right by my side, keeping up with my frenzied pace easily. I was trying to surreptitiously slide in closer to him, desperate for any means of cover from the watching audience. My eyes accidentally caught another girl's as I took a peek around the lot; she was standing a few metres away and she was frowning as she stared at me in amazement.

I dropped my gaze immediately back to the path.

"Because they have nothing better to do," he whispered back in my ear, suddenly even closer, and even though I had been the one to drop his arm just seconds earlier, Edward reassuringly slid is arm across my shoulders and left it there as we walked.

I was slightly mortified. I had no idea why he was doing what he was doing; they were just going to stare more. Couldn't he hear the murmurings that were breaking out all around the place? Surely he knew that it was all directed at us.

Self-consciousness was eating me up, making me revert back into my shell and allowing my auto-pilot to take control. I'd had enough to deal with in the past few challenging days—it wasn't like I needed more to deal with. The hissing noises of gossip were whispering in my ear, the multiple voices mocking me as I caught the drifting monotones across the open area. The icy air was making my body shiver but seemed to have no effect whatsoever on my face, which was heated with a warm red of embarrassment and uncertainty. My eyes didn't know where to look—what was safe? Where could I look and not be met by scrutiny?

As if he could sense my confidence disappearing, Edward held me tighter, enveloping me in his warmth. The weight of his arm suddenly felt very real, made _me_ feel real. And I knew the answer to my last questions: Edward. Edward was safe.

When we made it to the building, he held the door aside for me, allowing me to pass through before him. I was so relieved to get out of the cold and away from the staring that I almost tripped in my haste to get through the door.

It was common knowledge that at this time in the morning most people were outdoors, despite the hideous weather we were subjected to most days—it was so expected you barely noticed the rain. They were either just arriving or waiting around for their friends to do so. Still, just because _most_ were outdoors, didn't mean there weren't people inside.

"Where to?" He was casually brushing his hair back with his hand as he looked down the hall, and then turned to me, appraising me with his eyes as he waited for me to answer.

I cleared my throat. The recent situation we'd just escaped from was still fresh in my mind, the red not yet gone from my cheeks. I wondered, with a sudden swell of panic, if the entire day was going to be like that, and if that was just a small taste of what I should be expecting.

Edward looked at me, concerned. He narrowed his eyes my way as he stared at my expression. "Whoa. Are you alright?"

I was supposed to nod, but my head shook itself instead. I swallowed, trying to wave away his worry with my hand.

"I'm fine," I said, and hoped it was true. "I just . . . that was awful." As soon as I said it, a couple came into view, clearly heading for the exit we'd just come in from. I lapsed back into silence as the confrontation took place.

A boy and a girl, hand in hand, drew nearer, creating the silence to thicken with their proximity. The boy looked at me for a second longer than was considered polite, sliding into the staring category just like everyone else had this morning, it seemed, and then flickered his gaze to Edward lazily. The girl was more obvious—her mouth turned down in contempt as she sized me up and then it wavered when she moved on with her eyes to Edward. Thankfully, they were out the door quickly, there heads coming together just as they exited, clearly discussing what they'd just seen.

I felt like I was in some strange sort of dream. I looked to Edward in complete and utter horror.

"See what I mean?" I asked, trying to pitch my voice low so it wouldn't carry over to anyone else; if they heard something, than they might feel more inclined to come closer or walk by.

He looked at me blankly. "What is it?" he asked—stupidly, in my opinion. "What's wrong?"

And then I knew it. Oh, the arrogant bastard. Of course Edward Effing Cullen was used to getting ogled at every single day of his life.

He took a step closer to me but stopped when my hands went straight to my hips.

"Are you seriously asking me that?" I wondered, amazed. "How can it have escaped your notice that in the few short minutes we have been at school we have been treated like a pair of circus freaks? Circus freaks with electrified blue hair and big, pink noses and green oily skin," I muttered. Then I eyed him introspectively, and snorted.

"Actually, I take that back," I said. "_I'm_ the one being treated like the ugly circus freak. You're being drooled over like the stupid candy stick that you are. What a great pair we make, huh?"

Edward grinned at me like a dope. "Did you seriously just refer to me as a candy stick?"

He was enjoying that comment too much, I suspected. And obviously not giving enough pondering on the rest of what I'd said.

"Look," I began, and cringed when I realised how loud I was.

"Bella," he said, not allowing me to continue as I'd planned. Edward reached out to me and took my bag from me, slinging it over one of his shoulders. He peered down at me, smiling in a way that was comforting but not condescending. He said my name again to get my attention when another person walked close by and my eyes warily followed them.

"Bella. You don't really think it's that bad, do you?" he asked. "So what if someone looks? It's just _looking_. People look at things every day of their lives—well, unless the person is blind. But there's no blind people at Forks, anyway, so . . ." He trailed off to take a deep breath, shaking his head at how he was getting sidetracked. "Look, my point is, you should just let people be free to look as they please. And maybe ease off the nerves—you're all jumpy. Like some poor little rabbit that's being elec—"

"Don't," I said firmly, cutting him off. "I don't need to know how pathetic I'm acting. But can't you understand how strange this is for someone like me?"

He paused, looking for a long moment in my eyes. For a moment he seemed as if he wasn't going to react to what I'd said, but then something in his face changed. He cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean by that?" he asked me sharply. "'_Someone like me_'?"

I fidgeted uncomfortably, shifting my weight foot to foot as I allowed my hands to twist together.

"Um, can we go somewhere else?" I asked, trying to convey what I wanted and meant without further words. I could basically _feel_ the eyes on us from afar. "We still have time."

"Where?" He was already beginning to walk forward, without questioning my motives, for which I was insanely grateful.

"Um, library," I answered. "I have a book I need to return anyway." When in doubt, head to the place that is most familiar. It was how I figured it.

We walked in silence. I tried to shrug off the awkward feelings of nervousness I got every time someone came near us or I heard whispering.

I had led us to the table that was furthest from the entry, tucked up behind shelves of books. Although the library was a place that was left fairly vacant most of the time anyway, it was completely empty now apart from a table of three who where all huddled over some extensive project they were obviously working on. I had sunk into my seat with relief.

Edward, of course, had casually pulled up a chair opposite me, spun it around so it faced the wrong way and sat down with his arms folded across the back of it.

He looked around, almost thoughtful, gazing up to the ceiling and then back down.

"What is it?"

His eyes settled on me and he grinned easily. "Nothing. So the library, huh? Do you go here often?"

What? "Oh . . . sometimes, I guess. I like how quite and reclusive it is."

He nodded. "Hmm. Well that would explain why I probably didn't bump into you sooner. I hardly ever go here. It's pretty nice, though, isn't it? It sort of suites you, in a weird way . . ." He was back to looking around the place.

I snorted. He snapped his attention back to me and arched a brow.

"Right. And what exactly is that supposed to mean? Plus," I added, "If you remember correctly, we still share a class, and are _in the same year level_, and attend the same school that holds a few hundred kids. But the fact that I prefer to spend a few times a week in the library is obviously the reason why you never noticed me." I didn't say it harshly—just matter-of-factly, perhaps with a hint of amusement. He was so adamant that there was a good reason he never had noticed me, other than the truth which was that I honestly wasn't that noticeable.

He gave me a falsely hurt look. "Ouch. But it doesn't matter, anyway." He straightened up impressively. "I'm still waiting for you to answer my question."

I gave him a small smile. "Sorry for dragging you here," I murmured. "It's just . . ."

"Easier," he nodded. "Don't worry, I get it. Now explain."

I rolled my eyes at him, amazed how he could go from possessing all the patience in the world to being almost childishly _im_patient.

I took a deep breath. "So you don't get why having people stare at you in an alienating way is slightly disconcerting?" I began with.

I knew my snappy question wouldn't deflect his attention away from what I had said earlier, and nor would it offer much of a distraction; I didn't even know why I'd blurted the question out. I hadn't planned on it. Maybe I was just on the defence.

He looked partially disappointed in me. I didn't blame him.

"C'mon, Bella," Edward reprimanded me. "I'm not an idiot. You were talking some nonsense about 'Someone like me'. That's quite a distinction. I was merely curious about what you meant when you said that."

Curious. Of course. He was _always_ curious when it came to me.

I stared down at the table, and then decided being self-conscious in front of Edward was stupid right now and that I couldn't be bothered with it when there was so much more to get embarrassed about. I met his waiting gaze.

"Well . . . It's just . . . You remember the night we met properly at your party?"

He nodded, and I wondered if the same memories came flooding back to him when it was mentioned, like they did for me. The muted sounds of music, the moon and the stars, the weird sense of aloneness and comfort . . .

"And you hated me. You can admit it."

And the dancing. That was probably the biggest part.

I registered what he said a few seconds after it actually came out of his mouth, and I resisted the urge to poke my tongue out at him, opting instead to give him a small, sheepish smile.

"I didn't _hate _you," I mumbled, but it didn't matter either way; I didn't want to spend the time trying to convince either Edward or myself of that conviction. "My point, though, is that I told you then, at that point, what I'm like. I don't do well in crowds. In fact, I hate them, period. So I guess I kind of figured you'd understand immediately, considering you've only gotten to know me _more_ since then."

"Yeah, I have gotten to know you more," he said quietly. "And I got to know that you do not even see a _little_ bit when it comes to you. You can get yourself into a fluster, I'll give you that—but from the way I see it, you just talk yourself into them. You don't see that when you talk, people actually begin to listen. You don't understand that even when you feel stupid, you still sound exceedingly smart." He shrugged, and the cocky grin found it's way on his face; I knew it couldn't be away for too long. "But the one thing I'm pretty sure you're actually beginning to see is that I'm the most amazing person in the world. Congrats on that. You're like the last person to know."

I scoffed at him while he laughed.

"_Anyway_," I said forcefully, sort of glad he'd made a joke out of what he'd said—I could focus on that rather than his comments prior to it. "All that aside, when people stare at me like that . . ." I shuddered. "I didn't even know what it was like to have people stare at you like that until ten minutes ago. I'm the girl who spends her time at the _library_"—I gestured around the room—"who can't for the life of her think of something conventional to say when people are waiting for it, and who nobody sees. Nobody _sees_ me, Edward. I sort of just blend it to the wall a bit. And I'm actually alright with that—I'm _used_ to it. So to all of a sudden be the centre of attention is just—"

"You weren't the centre of attention. I'm the candy stick, remember?" Edward interrupted.

I actually reached out to smack him lightly on the back of his head. He was getting far too comfortable in my company, it was clear.

"The circus freak is telling you to shut it, alright?" I said, and then I couldn't help but laugh at the obedient expression he pulled over his face to perfection. What was I even saying?

"See?" he said, his chuckles dying down. "You can find something to laugh about within it. It's honestly not that bad once you get over the initial shock of it all. The stares, I mean."

"Well you might not have the best opinion on that one, I reckon. Everyone stares at you all the time."

"Do not. Not always, thank you very much. If they did, they'd find out how pathetically normal I am and then what would I do?"

He was joking, but I couldn't help but bite my lip anxiously.

"What you're doing now?" I answered his rhetorical question dully. "I mean, if you haven't noticed, I'm the only person with you."

He stopped laughing, catching onto my mood instantly. Caution swept across his face.

"Are you sure you don't have anywhere else you want to be?" I checked anxiously. "You'll just make me feel bad if you're blowing everyone off for me."

"Bellllllaaaa," he dragged out, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Would you lighten up? You're always making comments like that and seem to be blind to the fact that I'm choosing to be with you. 'Everyone' are a bunch of assholes and I honestly couldn't care less for the whole lot of them at the moment."

So he knew who I was referring to, then.

"But I wasn't just talking about _Them_." That seemed to be what we were calling them nowadays. "I was also referring to all the other people. It's not like that group are all the friends you have. You know, like Jasper and . . . and . . . I don't know their names," I admitted honestly. "But you know, all the people who hang around you."

I waved my hands around my head, like that would somehow explain it. It made some sort of sense to me and the way I viewed it all; the people where like flies, constantly swarming.

Edward shook his head. "You're more fun," he assured me, and I was slightly nervous about the implications his voice took on, because it had some sort of conclusive tone to it—and I wasn't ready for this conversation to be over.

"But I want you to loosen up," he continued. "Just look at the bright side—no horrible pictures today, huh? Told you they'd be gone. And the fact that everyone seems to be staring at us shouldn't be a problem. You know what you should do to them? You should smile. Give them something to look at."

"You think they'd look away if I smiled?!"

"No," Edward grinned. "They wouldn't look away. You have a pretty smile. But at least they would see you aren't bothered by it, yeah?"

I groaned.

"Come on," he said, rising from his chair, and confirming my suspicions about leaving. "We're done hiding now. I bet you Alice will be here, looking for you."

And even though I wasn't looking forward to having to face the crowds of people again, Alice's name was something nice and comforting and normal to head off towards. And I realised I wasn't alone, either, having Edward at my side. It was a small but significant perk.

* * *

"Awww," Alice giggled in an undertone as the rest of the class worked on our new Spanish assignment. "That's really sweet. _He's_ really sweet. I'm sort of sorry I wasn't ready this morning, because I would've liked to see it all happen, but then again, maybe it's better that I wasn't."

She twisted her lips together, a thoughtful look on her face as she chewed the end of her pencil.

"Yeah, actually," I said, "What was with that?"

"Hmm?" Alice raised her eyebrows at me expectantly. Then she relaxed her expression. "Oh. Right. Getting ready." The teacher walked close by so she leant in closer to speak. "Well, you know, it might've taken me a few more minutes to get ready this morning, because if you haven't noticed, I haven't seen Jasper in quite a few days. Maybe I had a small freak out." She shrugged, and then smiled.

I wasn't sure if she was telling the truth or not. Her explanation sounded reasonable after immediately hearing it, but what was weird was the fact that Alice didn't _need_ time to get ready—she could just throw something on and look good. But then again, why would she lie about it?

"Wouldn't be the first, eh?" Alice continued. "Oh, and I have to work tomorrow night, just so you know. Extra shift. Extra cash. _So_ excellent."

First period. With Alice. And she sort of resembled a guardian angel right now to me, what with her spectacular way of always being reliable with her behaviour. Her personality sort of floated around her in this huge orb of happiness—it sounded so weird and cheesy, but it was the only way I could explain it. People weren't staring at me that much at all, thanks to her.

Or maybe it was because I wasn't with Edward. I wasn't sure. Either way, it was better.

The morning was strange. Time seemed to lurch in a foreign way, some moments gone in an instant and others dragging on so long that I could remember every single insignificant detail. A few whispers followed me throughout the halls, and lingering gazes fell onto me from time to time. It still made me ridiculously self-conscious, but I got through it. I just kept reminding myself that I was the same person I had been last week, with the same brown hair, brown eyes and same pale skin.

When the bell rang at the end of my calculus class, signalling the beginning of lunch, I felt a twinge in my stomach of unease. Following my schedule of classes was easy enough, something I did without thinking. But inside the cafeteria, things weren't so orderly.

I shouldn't have bothered worrying though. As soon as I stepped outside the classroom, I was pleasantly surprised to find Edward there, outside, leaning against the wall. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that he was waiting there for _me_; seeing how everyone else treated him reminded me that not only was he nice and great, he was also completely unattainable. Or should be, for someone of my status.

He grinned when he saw me, further highlighting how completely backwards this all was, and pushed off the wall to go stand by me. We fell into step behind everyone else, mindlessly making our way down the hall. It was then that I realised how _tall_ Edward actually was, standing next to a bunch of other kids. I supposed I did only come up to the top of his shoulder, but I knew I wasn't particularly tall myself, so I'd barely given it a thought in retrospect.

I dumped my books on Edward's suggestion in his locker—making him swear he'd be there tomorrow so I could retrieve them—so it would save us the extra trip.

We were one of the first people to enter the cafeteria. As soon as we entered, I was completely unsure. It was probably silly, but a small part of me was prepared to deal with the possibility of Edward walking off to his normal table towards the back, to wait for his normal crew, leaving me behind to meander along pathetically and find my own place.

Yeah, right. Definitely silly. I had to stop entertaining thoughts like that, because it seemed that the moment one crept up on me, he proved me wrong in such a nice way it made me feel rather sheepish.

He turned to me for direction, raising his brow. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked. "I know you normally sit over that side—"

I shook my head, relieved and elated he'd basically assumed we were sitting together. I nodded towards an empty cluster of tables, ones that were usually left fairly vacant. Sure, I could just invite Edward to sit at my normal table with all my friends, but that still left the problematic outcome that they would probably all just sit there staring at him the entire time like idiots, and I wasn't sure I was up for that.

Plus, apart from Alice, I wasn't sure how they'd handle this new development between Edward and I, our strange new alliance. It was safer to opt for something different, to just create our own table and be done with it.

He smiled, and I wondered how much of my thoughts he'd guessed at before he gently nudged me in its direction.

"Go," he told me, encouraging me with a nod when I hesitated. "I'll get us something to eat."

And I amazed myself by complying without any objection, walking over to the table and sitting down so that to my right was the entrance to the cafeteria and that to the left was Edward's old table. That way, both things were accessible to my eyes if I wished or not in my direct line of sight if I didn't.

I sat back in the uncomfortable seat, my eyes on the back of Edward's head, drawn to the amazing copper hair as I waited for him to come over. I was thankful we were here earlier; less people meant less stares.

I didn't see her until she was nearby. I probably would have if I had been paying attention. My heart sunk deep in my chest when I saw her eyes leer in towards me and her direction change as she strutted over towards me, sitting by myself at an empty table.

Tanya was wearing a strapless black dress today, that was daringly short and yet she _somehow_ managed it to look the least bit decent because of the black tights that hugged her long legs underneath it. Next to her, the done-up Barbie, I looked even scruffier with the same jeans I wore every day.

She wore an angelic smile across her full lips, coming to a stop on the opposite side of the table to me. I watched with a blank face, unsure what she was doing as she placed both hands on the tabletop and bent down so her head was level with mine, her hair falling into her eyes, showing off a huge amount of cleavage. Her smile grew a little so she almost seemed amiable.

I didn't want to take my eyes off her—that seemed like a completely idiotic move—but I couldn't help but glance back to her table; I saw a few people there already, but I couldn't concentrate long enough to see who was watching this encounter before my eyes slid back to Tanya's waiting stare.

"Hey, Bella," she said, her pronunciation of my name curling carefully off her tongue. "I just wanted to make sure you're having a really nice day. I mean, after Friday and all . . ." She trailed off, full of implications.

Leaning in closer—and still somehow sugar-coating the threatening pose so it hardly seemed like anything if friendly—she gave me what seemed like a sympathetic smile.

Bitch.

The word entered my mind without me even realising it.

"It's just fine, thanks," I said evenly, wondering what her deal was. She must have some motivation in coming over that was about to be revealed.

She nodded. "Oh, good." Then her grin widened and she lightly reached on of her hands over to playfully nudge my shoulder. "I just wanted to make sure everything was cool between us. I mean, you've got to understand that just because Edward's screwing around with you now doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?"

"What?" I said. Her words weren't making any sense to me yet, like I hadn't computed them properly, and yet each word coming from her lips seemed to impact on me like a physical hit.

"Oh, you know," she waved one of her hands and straightened up. "You know how boys are. With Edward's track record he'll be through with you in one week and fucking the next poor girl that comes along."

_Fucking the next poor girl that comes along._

"Excuse me," a voice said and my internals rejoiced at the sound. I wiped everything else out of my mind, refusing to make sense of it all.

_He'll be through with you in one week._

Alice slipped right passed Tanya, brushing her ever-so-slightly until she was around on my side. She wordlessly pulled out her chair and sat down next to me, dumped her tray onto the table and cocked her head to the side, staring at the vivacious blonde as if she was daring her to do something.

You didn't mess with Alice.

Tanya smirked and ducked her head once. "Well, I've got to go. Nice seeing you . . . Bella." She let her long nails travel the length of the table as she airily turned around and sauntered across the cafeteria, returning to her table.

I couldn't even allow myself the luxury of taking in Alice's face; I was too busy staring at the back of Tanya as she retreated, and I now noticed that it was Simon, Laurent and _James_—his greasy smirk visible from even where I sat—present at the soon-to-be-packed hotspot of the lunchroom.

After a second, my tense pose began to relax and I peeked a look at Alice to say thanks—but she wasn't even looking at me. My head turned so fast in the direction of her abstraction that my neck cracked, and even before my eyes took in his form I knew we were looking at Edward.

He was holding a tray—completely _piled_ to the brim with food—and standing just far away enough that it seemed likely he hadn't heard the odd exchange that had taken place. But that wasn't the problem—the problem was in his face, was the raw look of anger that told me he was completely pissed.

It wasn't like he was far away enough to not be able to _see_ what had happened.

The next few seconds were crucial, in my opinion. A lot of silent communication was passed between the two of us. Somehow, I knew he wanted to go over to his friends—ex friends?—immediately. That was his normal, immediate reaction to what he'd witnessed.

And I appreciated that. I really did. It was so nice that he cared about me enough to want to do that without even understanding exactly what had happened.

But across the room where our gazed met, my eyes pleaded with him to just come over and sit down. To not make a big deal of things. The way his green eyes were sparking made me just a little nervous and the last thing in the world we needed right now was a huge debacle taking place in a cafeteria that was beginning to swell with adolescents, all surely dying to see a fight break out.

The tense moment passed, and I could see Edward change his mind, gain his composure. He gave me a little conceding smile—if you could call it that—and continued on over to where Alice and I sat.

He smoothly pushed the tray towards me as he took the seat on my other side that was vacant. Immediately, I knew his eyes were assessing my face, trying to gain answers from reading it.

"Pheeeew," Alice let out a huge gush of air loudly from her mouth. She turned her small body to face me and gave me a loaded look.

"What?" I asked, an automatic reaction. "I don't know what that was about."

Alice pursed her lips sceptically and drummed her fingers against the table. "Well, Bella, you sure can call trouble onto yourself. What did she even _want_?"

"What did she say to you?" Edward asked at the same time Alice was voicing her question. I switched my gaze between the two of them, feeling like a whole lot of bother to be dealing with at that precise moment.

"Err . . . You didn't hear?" That was more directed at Alice, who had intervened at an earlier stage than Edward. I'd just assumed she'd overheard what was going on.

She shook her head, giving me a blank look. "Not really. I just saw Tanya standing over you basically rubbing her cleavage into your face from afar—you really do have my sympathies—and trying out some weird sort of sugary smile fake thing that made her seem extra psychotic."

She leaned around me to look at Edward. "No offence. I mean, I know you dated the despicable girl, but honestly, Edward, couldn't you have picked someone just a little less like a tart?"

She leaned back around and shook her head, ripping the seal off her drink as she went. "I mean, it was obvious something weird was going on. Take away the fact that anything to _do_ with Tanya is bad news"—she leant around me once again to mutter a quick apology to Edward—"the whole confrontation just _reeked_ utter vile. She sort of pollutes the air as she walks. It's rather tragic to watch." Alice sipped at her drink, pausing in her assessment.

Edward touched my arm briefly. "Here, I didn't know all your favourite _canteen_ foods exactly, but I got things close to what you like." He pushed the tray even closer to me, trying to coax me into something. I picked up an apple, unable to hide the smile on my face as I saw all the trouble he went to for me.

"Now are you going to hurry up and explain?" Alice demanded. "Nice table by the way, it's cool for some change."

I opened my mouth, and then glanced to my left and almost snorted when I saw that Tanya was seemingly absorbed in sorting the dreadlocks of Laurent's hair into sections as she stood by him, one leg either side of his knee. At least she wasn't looking at me. Apparently I wasn't worth _that_ much attention.

"Well . . ." I looked back and toyed with the stem of the apple with my fingers. "She was just . . . I don't know what the point of it all was, actually," I said, although that wasn't completely true. "She hardly said anything at all. Just came up to me and smiled brightly and mentioned a few things in passing." I glanced at Edward, who was focused in on what I was saying, and knew I wouldn't mention the specifics yet. "She mentioned you, actually."

I took a bite into my apple while Alice and Edward exchanged equally loaded looks.

_He'll be through with you in one week._

I swallowed and hurried to add before either one of them could comment, "She didn't say anything _bad_, okay? Not really."

Just something interesting. Something I wasn't even going to acknowledge just yet until I had the opportunity to ponder it properly. It was safe to do so just yet, not with—

I made the mistake of glancing at Edward again, and I think he grasped that I didn't really want to talk anymore on the subject. That was good, but it didn't necessarily mean he would give up completely. He could be infuriatingly stubborn when it pleased him to be so. Almost like me.

Edward seemed resigned to be rather quiet about the whole thing, relaxing back into his chair without a word. Before I could think to say something to Alice, however, a voice was saying, "Hey guys," and all three of us were looking up to take in the welcome forms of Angela and Ben.

"Hey!" I blurted out, almost over-enthusiastic. But it was nice to see them—it honestly was. It seemed like forever since I'd had any other interaction with people at school besides Alice and now Edward. I perked up in my chair.

Angela smile at me. "We were just wondering if we can sit with you?" she asked, looking at the multiple empty chairs on our table.

"Of course you can," I told them, and Angela gave me a warm look before sliding in next to Alice. Ben followed, naturally taking the seat next to Angela. Although I would always say Angela was a quiet girl, I would even continue on that train of thought and say that Ben could be even shyer at times. He was the guy that tended to follow what Angela was doing, but not in a pathetically-desperate sort of way. It was just how the two operated.

"Welcome _to the_ _club_," Alice said, beaming brightly. "It's nice to see the pair of you, out in our new territory located in the highly scenic cafeteria of Forks High. How you liking the view? Everything looks different from this table, I reckon. I'm glad you could find us."

Ben grinned, always able to find good conversation with Alice—which, in the beginning, I'd found surprising—and replied, "Well, Alice, it's only about five metres away from our normal table, so the journey wasn't too hard. Sorta like in—"

"Don't start." Alice held up her hand to stop his flow of words. "Or at least just hold it for a second. This, dearest friends, is Edward." She used the hand currently held up in a stop sign to waver dramatically over in his direction. "Edward, this is Angela and Ben. Now, I'm assuming you two at least sort of know who he is, considering . . ."

". . . Considering he's been at this school since you have," I finished for her, knowing that was not what Alice had been intending to say. I was trying, for Edward's comfort, to downplay his the high-impact role he had on the entire school and make him come off just like anyone else.

Edward grinned at the two of them in greeting, and he must have pre-empted the reaction, because I certainly did—but then again, he was so out of it when it came to how people responded to him most of the time. It wasn't his fault that his smile was so disarming.

Ang and Ben did pretty well, though. Considering this was Edward Cullen sitting on a table with us, they did _extremely_ well.

Angela nodded her head at what Alice and I had said, and smiled shyly, a nice smile that was polite and obviously intended to being casual, but it was directed more at the surface of her food tray rather than Edward's face.

His charm seemed to affect girls more often the guys, but Ben still ended up giving a hearty nod and then looking a little lost afterwards, like he didn't know what came next.

Alice giggled.

"Did you all have good weekends?" I asked, looking towards the pair of newcomers with interest. I wasn't just asking to fill in the silence.

"Mmm," Angela assented, looking grateful for the distraction. "They were great. How did Florida go for you? You were both away yesterday, I didn't know you would stay the extra day up there."

I shrugged. "We didn't mean to," I said and Alice mouthed "Late plane" next to me. "After a visit like that with my mother, you sort of need a day to recover yourself and re-energise. I didn't get out of bed until late afternoon, actually."

I couldn't help but slide my eyes to Edward while Alice prattled on about the beach—explaining the heat in full detail to Angela and the theme parks to Ben—and we both exchanged secret smiles at each other at the memory of him barging in on me while I moped around in a mess.

"_You deserved it_," Edward mouthed to me and I tried to cover my grin with my free hand that wasn't holding food.

He grinned, too, but then we zoned in on the conversation that was taking place without us and realised they were silent.

"So, Bella and Edward darling dearest," Alice addressed us, "Do you think this new table arrangement will become a permanent arrangement or is it merely a makeshift solution?"

I looked to her, completely lost. "I . . . I don't know." I turned to Edward, who seemed slightly amused. "Do you . . . I mean, are you going to be sitting here for long?"

Edward rolled his eyes and just passed me the juice he'd gotten me, making sure I took it from him. "Is she always like this?" He asked both Ben and Angela, and whereas I had no clue what he was referring to, they apparently did for they both said, "**Oh** yeah," with extra emphasis and you-have-no-idea expressions.

"Like what?" I asked, mystified and somewhat annoyed. "It was a perfectly reasonable question, I don't get what . . ."

Something light in weight hit me square in the back, right between my shoulder blades.

I whipped around, not quite sure what I was expecting, noting that everyone else sans Edward had turned their heads to find out what the source of it was as well.

Edward was already facing him.

I was shocked to find out that it was Mike Newton who had piffed a crumpled up piece of paper at my back to get my attention. He sat, alongside Jessica, Tyler, Connor and Eric, at our old table, staring at my face with a frown.

He wasn't the only one. Looking, I mean. Jessica didn't look angry, just . . . outraged. Disbelieving, or that was what it seemed like, her dark hair framing her frozen face. The rest of the boys all looked similar, pretty dubious to what was going on, just like I was.

"_What_?!" I murmured quietly, knowing he wouldn't be able to hear me but figuring he could read my lips.

His frown deepened, but he didn't make a move to speak, so I turned back around after a minute, confused.

Alice was wickedly amused.

"Hmmm," she sung under her breath. "_Someone_ looks upset, huh? Anyone wanna bet what's up with Newton?"

She looked to me for guidance, but I didn't know any better than she did. I shrugged, letting them know I had no clue.

"Maybe it's just—" Angela began, but cut off when a second paper ball grazed my shoulder and skipped across the table of food, slipping past Edward and landing on the floor next to his chair.

I turned around again, wondering what was up with him. If Mike was that desperate for my attention, why didn't he just come up and talk to me? It wasn't like it would be hard, we were friends.

Right?

His expression looked sulky and furious as he stared right at me, and I had no idea what I'd done to deserve that sort of look. I hadn't even spoken to him since—Wednesday? Thursday?—and that had been a pleasant conversation, I knew that. Nothing that would get him all angry like this.

I raised my eyebrows at him, inviting him to speak again. It wasn't like he was that far away. I could hear him if he wanted me to.

But he just crossed his arms across his chest and continued to scowl.

I shook my head and turned back around, determined to just let it go. If he threw something at me again, I would just yell at him to stop. I didn't care who heard me—it wasn't as if people didn't already think I was silly. But honestly, what where we, third grade? I couldn't understand his behaviour, and quite frankly, didn't care enough to investigate it.

Alice frowned too, noting this was strange behaviour. "Huhhhhh," she mused, pursing her lips. "That's not a look I'm used to seeing on him when it's directed at you. Doesn't he get all—"

"Cross-eyed and mushy?" Edward grinned at my best friend. "You can usually see his hopeless devotion every time he opens his mouth at her. In fact, you should see his expression when _she_ talks. In Bio, she'll be having a serious rant to him on cellular anatomy and he goes completely star-struck."

"Ha!" Angela laughed surprisingly loudly, nodding her head in agreement. "He _does_. Funny you can pick up on that."

I looked to Edward, swatting him on the arm, and shook my head, my cheeks hot.

Honestly.

"He does not," I muttered, affronted.

The rest of lunch went surprisingly smoothly. The five of us talked casually, and I'm pretty sure Ang and Ben realised how normal Edward actually was. When you gave him a chance, it was impossible not to open up to him. The only hiccup that occurred was towards the end, perhaps ten minutes before the bell. Alice was in the process of regaling a story that involved a bright pink umbrella and a new hairstyle, when she suddenly trailed off mid-sentence in a very off way. I glanced to Ben, wondering what was wrong, but he looked confused as well.

In fact, we were all looking to Alice questioningly. All of us except Edward, that is, because he was looking up to the source of Alice's abrupt deflation in speech, the very person who Alice was now smiling up at happily.

"Hey, Jazz," Edward said, grinning up at the one friend of his I'd found I could actually relate to. I hadn't seen him over at Tanya's table—had he just walked in?

Jasper stood a foot away from him, and I was amazed that I hadn't noticed him sooner. He looked . . . well, I didn't know how to describe it. Not particularly happy, but not angry or upset either. Just . . . odd.

He smiled though, smiled at Edward, and I could almost feel Alice's excitement radiate off from her as her gaze didn't waver once from his face. If I was Jasper, I would automatically turn to her because it was impossible you could be oblivious to her stare; and yet he didn't turn. He just spoke quietly to Edward as the rest of us—I wasn't too sure about Alice, though—tried not to listen or at least seem like we weren't absorbed in what he was saying.

"Hey. I found out some stuff I think you'd be pretty interested in hearing. Got a minute?"

"What?" Edward looked towards me for a second while I pretended I didn't notice and then back to Jasper. "Now?"

Jasper shrugged, but his face clearly said _Yes, Now_.

Edward sighed a perfect sigh, rolling his eyes. "This better be good," he said, and turned to me with a smile. "I'll see you in Bio, alright?"

I nodded, eyes wide, feeling important simply because the way he treated me always made me feel special, and said a quiet "Thank-you", indicating the tray of food that was still full.

He grinned at me. "No problem. I wish you'd actually _eat_ something properly, though . . ." He stood from his chair gracefully and still carelessly, and waved a good-bye to Angela, Ben and Alice that made them all sit up straighter in their seats.

Jasper nodded at me, catching my eye, and gave me a small smile. "Hey, Bella," he said.

"Hi." Was I feeling popular right about now. I just wished . . .

He turned to acknowledge Alice and Ben in a generic way that someone would greet people in passing they didn't know, and I almost sighed in relief for my friend when his eye landed on Alice last.

Finally.

Alice beamed at Jasper. "Hey!" she said brightly. "Feel free to come back if you have time. There's plenty of room on our table."

Jasper looked at her for a second without saying anything, and then gave her a small smile that was pitiful even by my standards before shrugging in a non-committing manner.

Then they were gone.

It was impossible to miss the disappointment written clearly across Alice's face. For the rest of lunch, she seemed deep in thought, hardly adding to the conversation at all.

Edward and Jasper didn't come back, and I was starting worry about Alice's behaviour when the bell rang, loud and disruptive through the speakers. We scurried off to class, Alice and I parting ways but Angela was with me as we made our way to Biology.

We were filing through the door when I noticed that Mike was present already, sitting at our desk, staring resolutely forward. I took a deep breath. It was time to figure out what was up with him. My eyes couldn't help but scan the room and my brain couldn't resist informing me that Edward hadn't arrived for class yet.

Angela gave me a sympathetic look as she took her seat two rows down from me, and I smiled in spite of myself and went over to Mike.

"Hello," I said as cheerily as possible, sliding into my seat next to him. "I got as few things that are really interesting for this class today, I thought we could . . ."

Mike turned stiffly to face me, and he didn't look too happy. I cut off what I was saying, completely confused at his behaviour.

"What is it?" I asked, hoping he could just spit it out so I could realise it really wasn't me that was the problem, and we could get along with our class just like any other day.

He gave me a false smile, and if I wasn't so shocked, I probably would've cringed.

"Oh, nothing," Mike said, and he laughed, suddenly bright and optimistic. "So you got some stuff, huh? That's cool. We're really behind, we probably could use some more _stuff_. Now do tell me, how was your weekend?"

I didn't know if I preferred him sullen and gloomy. This false cheer was making me feel uncomfortable, and was definitely unnerving.

I opened my mouth to answer his question, but he was talking again before I could say a word.

"Because, you know, mine was pretty boring. I didn't do much, actually. And I just hope you had a wonderful time, you looked _so_ happy at lunch today. Is it really cool to be hanging with Cullen now? Jessica is just dying to know what you did to get him interested in you."

I was desperate for the teacher to walk in. I steeled myself up, ignoring the hurt is behaviour was giving me, and let the anger I was feeling come out as I snapped him.

"Mike, what the hell is your _problem_? You're acting like a lunatic," I told him truthfully, frowning at his round face. "First at lunch you're throwing stuff at me, and now, as if that can't get anymore childish, you're sounding almost like you're _bitching_ about nothing in particular. Are you just in a real crappy mood, or what?"

Mike looked like I slapped him in the face. I felt elated; I hardly ever spoke out like that, and it was somewhat liberating.

While I enjoyed the feeling speaking my mind freely was giving me, Mike seemed to recover from his momentary shock. His blue eyes stared me straight on as he uttered one single word.

"_Homework_," he said evenly, and then leant back like that explained everything.

"What?" I spluttered out, wondering what was wrong with him. "What does that mean?"

He swallowed, and then lent in so he could say quietly to me, "We were supposed to do our homework together this weekend, remember? You said we would work on this stupid project because last week you weren't up for it. Obviously you forgot. Was it Cullen? Did you have fun hanging out with all those _cool_—"

I laughed suddenly, which made him snap his mouth shut. I just couldn't believe he was getting this worked up over it.

"Shut up, Mike," I suggested to him, grinning as my laughter died down. "Sorry, yes, I did forget. I was in _Florida_, you dummy, for the weekend. I had to visit my mum."

Mike's cheeks were pink. He looked affronted.

"Florida? Well why didn't you—"

"If you'd just asked me straight out like a normal person what I was doing, I could've just told you." I shook my head. Unbelievable. I couldn't get over the fact he was being so ridiculous over something so trivial. "Look, I am sorry I forgot, but you don't have to be so rude to me. We didn't even set a time during the weekend when we were getting together. It was up in the air still, if I remember correctly."

Mike seemed like he didn't know what to say. "Well we're probably going to fail this project, you know, now that—"

But I wasn't even listening to him. Call me rude, but after everything I was dealing with at the moment, his irritation was the least important to me. Particularly because he was dealing with it in such a ridiculous way. Instead, I leant back in my chair and looked around the classroom, noting that the teacher had two minutes to arrive before he was late. Looking around more thoroughly, I realised Edward had two minutes left to arrive as well. He wasn't there yet. Still.

As soon as I thought of him, my eyes snapped to the corner of the room where I saw Edward standing unobtrusively to the side of the doorway, staring at me. When my eyes caught his, he beckoned me over with a flourish of his hand.

I immediately, without thought, pushed my chair away from the table and was about to get to my feet when Mike said sharply, "Where are you going?"

I looked down at him and smiled, faltering my movements. I tired to forget where Edward was so I wouldn't look over towards him as I spoke.

"I don't feel so good," I lied, amazed by the ease in which I did. "I think I'm going to go to the nurse, okay? I'll talk to you later—do me a favour and tell the teacher where I am."

I stood to my feet and started collecting my books and pens, while Mike just stared at me like I'd grown two heads.

"Since when do you miss class?" he asked incredulously. "Are you feeling alright?"

"No," I told him simply. "That's why I'm leaving."

I smiled at him one last time and turned, trying to not draw attention to myself as I steeled out of the classroom. The last thing I wanted was for someone to call me back, particularly when I was feeling so light and easy, so unlike myself.

As soon as I slipped out Edward was there, grinning at me, his hair a mess and a wicked glint in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" I asked, smiling but hissing my words in a low whisper. "If the teacher turns up . . ."

Edward just grinned wider and took my hand, tugging it gently. "Come on," he said, pulling me along so we were walking away from the classroom. "Let's get out of here quickly then."

* * *

Phhheewwww. Lots more next chapter! All my love,

Xxxxxx


	23. Liberation

Okay. I don't even know what to say as an excuse for why this took so long to get up. I rewrote the whole entire chapter about three times, but even so, it shouldn't have taken that long . . . And I am sorry! I know my updating is sporadic and completely all over the place. Bear with me.

23. Liberation

"_What are you doing?" I asked, smiling but hissing my words in a low whisper. "If the teacher turns up . . ."_

_Edward just grinned wider and took my hand, tugging it gently. "Come on," he said, pulling me along so we were walking away from the classroom. "Let's get out of here quickly then." _

---------

I had been too out of it to object, or to say anything at all as Edward had led me away from our scheduled class. I allowed him to take over, to guide me alongside him, trusting him completely even though I had no idea what he had planned. It was so out of character for me that I almost _enjoyed_ it. The thrill of just getting up and walking out of the classroom without any worries tying me down had made me feel—strangely—on top of the world.

The halls had been fairly empty; only a few odd students were running about, almost late for class, and there was no sign of our crappy Biology teacher. I'd followed Edward along at a hurried pace, even though I was trying to look casual about the whole thing.

How much trouble did you get in if you got caught ditching? I'd never given it a thought.

Of course, the whole cloak-and-dagger routine came to a sudden ending when I realised that, after scampering outside into the cold afternoon in a high state of excited nerves, Edward was only leading me towards his _car_.

I would be lying if I said that the small, tiny, miniscule, screaming-to-be-heard part of me that probably contained all of my rebellion and sense of spontaneity combined didn't sort of deflate in a strange sort of disappointment. I mean, I followed him into his car and all without saying much, but I felt a little cheated. Like I was missing out on something.

Almost like I _wanted_ to go somewhere forbidden. That is assuming there were forbidden places to go at one's school—I would have no clue. His car just seemed so anticlimactic.

What was wrong with me? Shouldn't I be relieved he was at least leading me somewhere that I knew and was comfortable with, considering we were already doing something stupid and irresponsible? It was all so ridiculous.

I stared at Edward, watching him with tight scrutiny as he stuck his keys in the ignition so he could get the heater on and running. He flicked a few buttons around, fiddling with all the controls—honestly. Boys and their toys.

Finally, he seemed aware for the first time of my non-wavering gaze, and looked to my face with an easy, questioning smile.

"Edward," I said. I didn't know where to begin.

"What's up?" He was completely focused on me now, his lovely green eyes staring into mine while he waited for me to speak.

"What . . . was _that_?" Suddenly beside myself, I found I was still breathless. My automatic response to a situation like this flicked on and mindless chatter bubbled in the space between us.

"You better have a really good reason for making us ditch; if I fail my Bio exam, I know who to blame. I can't believe I followed you, actually. We're going to get in so much trouble, but it's too late now to turn back, isn't it? We can't just walk in this late, without a reason or anything. Do you know that I told Mike I was ill? I mean, today's been weird enough already, why would you think it would be a good idea to not turn up to class? Is there any particular good reason or are we just doing this for the heck of it?" I gave him a pointed look, waiting for him to tell me his brilliant reasoning. I was starting to feel a lot better now, a lot more like the Bella I was supposed to be, but I was also fighting off a smile. I didn't know why.

"I mean, _honestly_, you're very irresponsible at the best of times, Edward." Leave out the fact that I somewhat followed him at me own free will. "_You_ might not care about your school record or the rest of your future, but I sure as hell do. Now _please_ tell me: What are we doing in your car?"

Edward took a long time to answer. He seemed to be drinking in my expression; did he notice that the smile was still playing on the corner of my mouth? I couldn't seem to get rid of it, even though the nervous panic I felt was genuine.

At last he responded, but not with the sort of answer I was waiting for. In fact, he didn't answer my question at all, just gave me one right back, shooting my one down for the moment.

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

His voice held a hint of incredulity as the words slowly fell from his mouth. Almost like he was conjuring up his assumption while he was saying it. A crooked grin slid into place on his lips and his eyes seemed to almost smile at me.

"No," I spluttered, taken aback. Why would he think that? "Don't be ridiculous."

"My oh my, Isabella Swan. It seems there's a dark side to you after all; how cruel for you to only just show it."

I shook my head at him stubbornly and gave him a disapproving look. It didn't make much of a difference to his expression, however; he continued to look at me, all smug and amused.

I quickly gave up the idea of trying to deny his accusation—I was definitely taking it as one—and decided there was no point in trying to argue over such a trivial matter.

"Edward," I said, doing my best at coming across as serious as I possibly could while he looked at me with that easy smile. "Please, just explain to me what's going on. I'm assuming you have some sort of motive, dragging me out of class and into your car."

He shrugged lazily, grinning. "Well, I suppose I do. But I don't know if I want to reveal it just yet; seeing you like this is rather enjoyable."

"Seeing me like what?" I demanded. Before he could answer, a thought occurred in my head that was slightly bizarre. "And I do hope you thought ahead of your actions and factored into account that the fact that you _did_ actually drag me out of class and into your car at school . . . Which, from a bunch of strangers' eyes, might be viewed as somewhat suspicious and even a little seedy." I narrowed my eyes at him. "I hope you know better than to try and seduce me."

Edward smiled at me, and if I wasn't mistaken, it seemed a little fond. "Don't worry, Bella. Dragging girls to my car for _that_ sort of business isn't really my style. Everyone knows that. Besides, I was under the impression you are utterly impossible to seduce."

"Too right," I agreed, although I wasn't all that confident on that one.

"I've got to say," Edward began, "That not only did I detect some undercurrent enjoyment before, but previously I think there was also a hint of disappointment. Does my car somehow offend you?"

I pursed my lips and gave him a look. He couldn't just leave it be. "No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous. Of course you're car is fine. More than fine."

"But . . ." Edward waited for me complete the sentence. When I didn't immediately, he sighed.

"Come on!" he chastised. "I thought one of the best things about you and me is that we're always honest. Plus, I like it when you voice how you feel. Spill it."

I was the one to sigh now—sigh in frustration.

"God, Edward Cullen, you are so annoying!"

"And impossible to deny," he inserted helpfully.

"Fine. Yes, perhaps some small, tiny part of me kind of found the whole spontaneous of the moment something different and intriguing. And yes, maybe I did feel a bit taken aback when you led me to your car. And okay, I'm feeling irritated right now most likely because I'm finding myself in a situation I've never been in before . . . don't you dare laugh . . . But so what?"

Edward grinned, and without wasting another second, suggested, "So let's get out of here then."

He was already putting the keys in the ignition and starting the car up before what he said hit me.

Hard.

"Wait, hold up," I said, feeling panicked suddenly. I grabbed onto his arm to stop his movements and waited until he looked me in the eyes.

"What do you mean, 'let's get out of here'?" I repeated. "I don't understand what you're getting at. Where you're coming from . . ."

Edward's gentle look made the words die in my throat. He carefully moved my hand off his arm, keeping it in both of his instead. The way he was looking at me surprised me. It was completely devoid of judgement and instead occupied by understanding and a hidden excitement.

And he said the words for me. What he said next was shocking because it meant that he understood me better then even I knew myself; it meant that he picked up all the small signals I was letting off left and right. The ones even I ignored. He said the words for me, the ones that I would never have said or suggested myself.

Without even verbally addressing the fact that those words were mine. That those desires were mine.

"Relax," he told me. "I just want you to stop worrying and to just trust me. We're going to go with this free feeling I have and just get out of here, because let's face it; school sucks and is so stuffy at the moment I feel like it's suffocating me. All the bullshit that's here is going to be forgotten and we're just going to get away from it all for an hour or so. I need you to trust me though."

I gazed up at him and slowly nodded. I prayed to God in that moment that Charlie would somehow stay ignorant of that tiny nod, and would never find out I had willingly 'ditched' school.

"Alright," I whispered.

Edward gave my hand a small squeeze and then dropped it, continuing his ministrations with the car controls until he finally got everything set to his liking—which was probably what he rightly assumed was my liking.

Then, while he gunned the engine and began the short descent out of Forks High's car park, I tried to get it straight in my head how, with a few small words that hid their real meaning very well, Edward had somehow picked up on the fact that maybe this was exactly what I actually wanted.

----------------

*

----------------

If Edward thought I didn't hear the small and barely audible profanity slip from his lips as we pulled back into school after our drive, he was definitely wrong. I heard it, and it only took a second longer for me to see the reason why it might have come out in the first place.

It had stopped raining now, but the ground was still either slick or soggy from the downpour, depending on wether it was grass or concrete. It was only ten minutes or so since the last bell of the day had rung, so it was perfect timing on our account.

Edward had been right when he mentioned that the rain would prevent us from going anywhere particularly exciting. But just driving around aimlessly while being given the opportunity to converse with him was pretty much perfect anyway. It beat Biology and Gym tenfold.

Talking with him was a guarantee that you were setting yourself up for disappointment in some way, however. Because once you got talking to him, it was impossible to want to _stop_ talking. And being forced to do so was disgruntling and annoying. I found myself more and more dependent on listening to his voice, his opinions, his stories, his comments. I was hooked, and it was so totally pathetic.

And, yes, he did finally get around to explaining—after a heck load of procrastinating on his part—what it was that had made him decide spontaneously to take me out of class with him.

He thought it was a big admission. That probably explained his reluctance to explain his motives.

_I_ didn't know what I thought about it, however. Edward seemed almost concerned at my calm reaction to the news he had informed me with, but the honest truth was, I was just not in the mood to mull it over properly. Plus, as much as I appreciated Edward, there were just some things in life that were better suited for your best friend to handle, and this was one of those things. Alice would definitely be able to shed some light on it for me. So, for now, I was simply not going to think about it.

So when we pulled in to school (I tried my best to stay calm and look innocent) and the first thing I noticed was Alice's face—the contrast between the stark white of her skin and the black inkiness of her hair making her impossible to miss against the backdrop of a moody sky—of course I was instantly optimistic. She must have pieced things together herself with her uncanny ability at guessing my actions, and waited back after the bell.

That was what I first thought.

But then her expression, teamed with Edward's quiet oath, made me instantly alert. Alice's eyes hadn't even flickered near Edward's car.

Edward did his very best not to swear around me. I knew that. It was so unusual for him to use any sort of language around me at all . . . So quite naturally, my eyes followed his line of sight as he pulled into his parking spot that always seemed to be left vacant for him.

His eyes were on Jasper.

A few ways away from Alice, who was standing underneath the small shelter the side of the brick building offered, stood a small group of students who were all instantly recognisable.

A lot of kids had already headed home. Out of those who were left, most weren't paying attention to the little encounter that was taking place right by the school parking lot. However, as was normal, a few had picked up the feeling that something was wrong and were hanging back to look cautiously on at Jasper, James and Simon, who were standing in a group and looked to be having a heated discussion.

I forgot momentarily about Alice.

The silence that hung in the car between Edward and me was profound. There was no trace of the laughter that had been there momentarily before, and I instantly realised that whatever was going on outside between the three boys was serious and had Edward tense.

"Edward," I managed in a quiet voice after I cleared it softly. "Edward, what's going on with them?"

I looked to my side to stare at his face but he didn't look at me; his eyes were locked on the trio of boys, with a small frown on his face.

At that moment, Simon, who was the only one not currently talking outside—Jasper's and James' mouth were moving in turn, and the mood in which they spoke to one another was fairly obvious from their expressions—turned to look directly at Edward's car, through the windshield and right at Edward's stiff face.

Edward made no move, didn't as much as blink as Simon stared at him. Then suddenly, much to my surprise, Simon hit James' shoulder and said something to him while his gaze still lingered on Edward. Then he glanced at James briefly, and swiftly turned around.

He walked away from them.

I was totally confused; I had no idea what was going on, no clue what was happening. Edward was still yet to speak. I was certain he had a better idea of it all, knew somewhat what was going on.

With deep concern, I turned to Edward and unbuckled my seatbelt; the clicking sound in the silence was loud and sounded out of place.

"Edward?" I tried again. "What's going on with them? Do you think they're alright?"

I still had no idea what had made Jasper in a funny mood during lunch; Edward hadn't divulged anything to do with his private conversation with him. I didn't press into the subject, either, because I didn't want to pry.

Now I was really regretting that decision.

Edward finally, _finally_ turned to me and looked at me like he just remembered I was there. His eyes that were normally very deep and soft seemed slightly shallower now, like his mind was somewhere else entirely.

"Edward?" I asked helplessly.

He ran a hand though his unkempt hair.

"Bella, can you just stay here for a moment?" His face was serious as he looked at me. "Just stay here, I'll be back in a sec . . ."

Before I could register what was going on properly, he had opened his car door and had already slipped outside. I watched his figure stride towards Jasper and James, and I bit my lip, trying to prevent myself from gnawing it off.

I was more than confused. If I was being utterly honest with myself, I was slightly annoyed at being told to basically stay put while Edward went off to do whatever it was he was going to do. Intervene? He obviously knew _something_ was going on. I was just glad that Simon was at least out of the picture now. James creeped me out entirely, particularly after the horrible situation I had been placed in with Edward regarding him and his girlfriend, Victoria, that one night . . . But still, one less was good, right?

Why was I thinking like that, anyway?

I was worried. I hated Edward being anywhere near those boys, Jasper being the exception, even though he had grown up with them. I didn't like it.

As Edward strode up to them, I noticed with total incredulity the way that the few people he encountered along the short way reacted to him. He was always modest about the way people perceived him, but if he thought now that the school population had turned their back on him simply because he'd had a falling out with his group, he was seriously wrong. Even now students parted way for him to come through without even pausing to think about it. And he was so oblivious to it all!

I was completely still as I watched with tight scrutiny the encounter that was occurring. I hadn't made my mind up yet, wether or not I was going to sit tight or follow after him. Jasper turned when he heard Edward approach but made no proper greeting. None of the boys did, although I suppose if you wanted to get technical, James' scowl deepened. Edward stopped next to Jasper's side, and his stance was surprisingly casual even though his face was hard.

Jasper made some pretty extensive hand gestures James' way and James spat at the ground in disgust.

I was almost falling off the seat, I was straining forward that much. I wished strongly that I could at least hear some bits of what they were saying, but all I got was a view of it all.

The next bits happened quickly: Edward spoke up, talked for the first time, and there was steeliness to his expression that I'd never seen before. I knew him well enough to know that he wasn't very verbal when he got _really_ angry—he was more the type that got deathly silent. Which was generally just as effective, possibly more so. So I judged that he was definitely heated, but not yet murderous.

I was pondering away, trying to read Edward's expression as he talked to James, trying to guess what they could possibly be fighting about . . .

And then James said something. It obviously had impact from the reaction it got out of Edward and Jasper, but his mouth continued to taunt silent words, so I presumed he was still attacking with verbal garbage. Something flickered on Edward's face, something dangerous, and just like me, the people who were watching the debacle from safe places sensed that something hazardous was going to happen. They seemed to lean in the same time that Edward's eyes flashed, and I held my breath, trying desperately to read his expression, every part of him, wanting to know what it was, what got him so angry, what he was going to do . . .

Jasper punched James in the face.

It happened in a flash, and even as James exclaimed loudly in what had to be an expletive as he reeled backwards, I was trying to catch up with what had happened. My mind was still behind.

All my attention had been on Edward, so I hadn't seen Jasper get that wound up. I was so sure _Edward_ was going to be the one to act out that like that I actually gasped aloud when it happened.

I didn't think after that. I didn't think about the people who had dwelled behind to watch the spectacle, who were all wearing expression of shocked delight. I didn't think about James, and how he was already recovering from the shock and was probably getting ready to retaliate. I didn't even think about what I was doing.

I stumbled the hell out of Edward's car immediately and made my way towards him determinedly, as fast as I possibly could, my mind reeling. I was trying to process the events and make sense of them, because from where I was, they didn't make sense at all. Students parted way for me now, for the first time in my life, simply because I was entering the circle they had all decided was too close to the disagreement—if it could be called that.

When I finally was close, they came into hearing range. James was already closing in on Jasper, hissing murderous words at him but I wasn't even listening to them. He looked positively feral. My eyes were glued to Edward.

He saw and heard me coming at the same time. He turned in surprise to see me there, a few strides away from him, and his gaze immediately flickered over to his car, which was empty.

"Bella—" he said, and then looked back in a flash to James and Jasper.

He visibly relaxed.

My eyes followed his, and I realised that the principal was striding down the lawn, looking angry, irritated and outraged. James hadn't noticed yet, because his back was to him, but Jasper had. He took a step back at the same time that mine faltered.

Oh my God. I totally could not understand any of this. The Coach was also following the principal, just a pace behind. Gossip was breaking out like the plague as witnessing students squawked with the excitement. I was standing on edge from it, suddenly unsure what the hell to do.

All three of them were quickly rounded up before my eyes as the shouting from the teachers began. Edward didn't even look behind me as he walked behind Jasper, as they all got sent to the office. They quickly disappeared, leaving me behind. Leaving me behind with the delighted students who were all whispering stupidly.

I stood, unsure, out of place.

Nothing was making sense. My day had been the strangest thing: first it was the total scrutiny, then it was the encounter during lunch with Tanya—her words still ringing in my ears, I was yet to give them any proper pondering—then it was Mike turning sulky, the unplanned trip away from school, the drive with Edward where he told me what he'd found out that day from other students, and now this.

"Bella!"

Alice's voice flooded into my consciousness and I turned to see her running towards me. The one person and thing in my life that never changed, was always there. Her face was full of concern and when she stopped by me, slightly breathless, she immediately flung her arms around my to give me a quick hug.

"Bella!" she said again, retreating backwards so she could look up at me to my face. "My God, I had no idea where you were, and did you just _see_ what happened? You were gone but then you were there and what happened with you and Edward? Did you see his face before? And _Jasper_! What the hell was _that_ about, please tell me you know . . ."

I tried to get her to be quiet as I soothingly patted her arm.

"Calm down, Alice," I said, although I was feeling just as incredulous as she was. "I'm so sorry about leaving, it's a long story but it doesn't have anything to do with what jut happened now. I have no idea what that was about."

"But you were with Edward," Alice insisted. "He left you in his car, I saw you both, so he must have said . . ."

My expression made her realise I was telling her the truth.

"I'm sorry, I have no clue," I told her honestly. And slightly irritably. Not only had Edward basically told me to stay put and not do anything, without any explanation at all, but he'd now left and I had no idea how long he would be required to stay with the principal.

And perhaps I was slightly irritated because I was also slightly worried.

"He just told me to stay and got out of the car," I said. "Do you have any idea what that was about?"

Alice shook her head hurriedly. "No." Her eyes flickered across to the students who were slowly starting to drift away, and back to me. "Simon was there and was talking about Kate or something, but by then it was just Simon and Jasper, until James came along, Simon took off, Edward joined, and things exploded."

I tried to grasp her confusing relay of what happened. "You heard what they were talking about?"

Alice look baffled. "Hardly. All I heard was Kate's name, and something about someone being careless and thoughtless, and I think maybe you might have been mentioned at one point." She squinted up at me. "Sorry. I don't know anything else. But tell me! What were you doing before this whole fiasco?"

I sighed, suddenly feeling weary. "I was with Edward. I kind of . . . well, I actually . . . he ended up driving me out somewhere . . . during class. Right after lunch, actually. It was nice."

My casual way of delivering this was pointless. She didn't react with causality at all.

"What?" She searched my eyes disbelievingly, as if she was trying to see the truth written in them. "I can't believe it. Bella Swan, you've been holding out on me." She laughed, suddenly delighted. "Only Edward Cullen could make you willingly ditch class."

I rolled my eyes at her. It felt good to do this during all the chaos.

'Well?" Alice prompted.

"Well what?" I asked her.

She gave me a knowing look. "How was it? I want to know. Did he take you somewhere? What did you talk about? Do you think any of it matched up with what just happened with him, Jasper and James?"

I shook my head. "Later, Alice, alright? I don't even know where Edward's gone now. Do you think he'll be let out soon?"

If he didn't return soon, I was going to have to leave with Alice for the bus without saying goodbye. That really sucked, particularly since there were about a million questions I needed him to answer for me. I was anxious.

Alice clicked her tongue. "Maybe. I'm not sure. I hope for your sake. I hated seeing Jasper so upset." She paused, and I instinctively knew she was thinking back to lunch time when he basically snubbed her. She shook her head, and her expression smoothed over. "Why did you and Edward leave though? Was it just spur-of-the-moment? So unlike you, Bella, honestly." She smiled at me endearingly.

I shook my head. "No. Actually, Alice, that brings up a brilliant point that I really need to talk to you about. You see, Edward actually found out about the person who was responsible for Friday's incident, the pictures and everything, and he . . ."

I stopped talking when I realised with a leap of my heart that Edward was returning. He was walking back outside towards Alice and I. Alone. Looking . . . I couldn't even explain it. My words completely shut off.

Alice peered at my curiously but I was only half aware of it. "I'll tell you later," I told her quietly, smiling in relief when Edward saw I was looking at him. He smiled back, and all my anxiousness drifted away.

As soon as he was at my side, and he'd winked in a friendly way to Alice in greeting, I realised instead of being anxious, my irritation was seeping back in. My smile slowly faltered as I gave him a level stare.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, finally wanting answers.

Alice pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. She knew it took a lot for me to get straight down to business like that.

Edward looked confused. "In this school or on this planet?"

I shook my head. "No seriously, Edward, what are you doing here? I thought you were in trouble. Like, serious trouble. Where's Jasper?"

"Still inside. I'm free to go though. Are you girls in a rush to get home?"

Alice murmured in a pleasant way while I frowned at him. In the odd fifteen minutes that everything had escalated the way it had, I was sick to death of feeling out of the loop. I was so used to Edward including me in everything, that the moment he didn't seem to, it left me feeling miles behind.

"Edward, please, are you going to explain what's going on?" I asked him.

Alice looked to the ground.

He looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, Bella, really I am. I can explain everything to you if you want, but later. Just give me a minute. I promise you, though, I'm allowed to go now, so if you both want a lift home . . ."

"Why are you allowed to go home though, and not the others?"

"Because I purposely didn't do anything of serious consequence. Cheer up, Bell, everything's going to be fine."

Alice couldn't seem to stand being silent any longer.

"I can't believe you didn't beat the shit out of him," she blurted out suddenly, shocking both Edward and I with her admission and her language. She pursed her lips. "You seemed pretty close to it. Even more so than Jasper. I mean, on the one hand, well done for abstaining and all that, but is there a particular reason you didn't? Just curious."

Edward gave her a small smile. "I sort of needed to be here in time to get you both home. It's hardly fair if I keep you waiting, is it?"

Alice grinned. "Cool. That's just lovely. So . . ." She wriggled her eyebrows at the both of us. "Anyone mind if I ride shotgun? Or if I kinda hurry my ass over to the car? I'm freezing."

I shrugged and Edward shook his head, so with one last smile Alice turned and headed towards the Volvo. It was unlocked, since I'd exited in such a hurried state.

Edward and I were both silent for a moment in her wake. I knew he meant what he said, that he would explain things soon. I was holding that to him. And the 'soon' I had in mind was more like tonight, wether it is in person or in a phone call. Possibly after I had my talk with Alice—I really needed to fill her in on what Edward had told me about his discovery concerning Friday.

Edward turned to me as we started walking in stride towards the car, trailing after Alice. "I've got to tell you," he whispered quietly in my ear, "I just really didn't want to leave you hanging. Punching James would have been nice, but getting to spend time with you is better."

I looked up at him as we walked, and smiled at him as he we made our way together over towards his car.

--------

xxxxxxx

I know I cut it off. Totally evil. Confusing? Probably that as well. Next chapter will most likely answer all the questions you have and will hopefully make everything in this one make sense. And it won't take as long to get up! Probably a week?

Hmm… Come along and say hi to me, if you want. Anyone else TOTALLY psyched for Alice in Wonderland??????!


	24. Searching For Clarity

This is not as long as I'd prefer, but I updated a lot quicker!

:]

24. Searching For Clarity

"Okay," Alice began, walking out of her bedroom where she'd dumped her bag. She stopped when she was a few paces away from me in the small kitchen, and immediately her hands went to her hips. "I've given us enough time to settle back at home," she informed me. "Please don't waste any time in filling me in on all the massive blank spots that are completely hindering my ability to understand what is and has actually gone on. I'm completely ready to hear it all, so fire away, honey."

I rolled my eyes as I switched the electric kettle back off. It had been about five minutes since Edward had dropped us off home and we'd stumbled upstairs to the apartment. I supposed I should probably be thankful for those few minutes. It was a lot in Alice terms.

I finished off ministering our traditional cups of tea that I'd been preparing as I answered her.

"Al, I've told you already, you know just about as much as I do. There are a whole lot of blank spots for me, too."

She scoffed, unrepentant. "Yeah, but you don't need to _see_ things the way I do. I can literally go crazy if I'm kept in the dark, you know that!" She walked closer to me and took the mug I handed her, which was filled to the top and steaming. "Plus, you said something about Friday before, remember?" She pointed this out with immense satisfaction, as if it was something I'd forgotten. "And you kind of lost me there, too, a little."

I carefully carried my tea over to the couch and set it down on the table with caution, not wanting it to spill. Alice copied my movements without thinking, and we both sunk down into the old sofa; it sagged beneath our weight.

"Okay," I said slowly, trying to figure it all out. "I suppose I'll just have to tell you from the start."

"Oh, yes, goody. Please do." Alice gave me an encouraging smile and snuggled in deeper. "Before you begin, however, I should inform you that I probably will interrupt. Perhaps to fill _you_ in on some things you might have missed. This way we can be sure to cover everything."

I smiled back at her and her silly ways of orchestrating things to her liking. "Fine by me," I conceded easily.

"Great," she said. "Start from this morning. Pretend the last time I saw you or heard from you was when you rushed out the door to meet Edward so he could drive you to school."

And so I began my tale.

"Well, as you said, Edward drove me in, because apparently you weren't anywhere near ready"—I gave her an expression that clearly displayed how much I believed it—"and everything was fine until we were nearly there and everything sort of just kicked in. I was pretty nervous. Actually, I was very nervous, but Edward was real nice about it. You know how he is."

Alice nodded and so I continued.

"When we first got out of the car at school, I thought I would die of embarrassment. I've never been under such tight scrutiny before and, honestly, Alice, it was horrifying. It was all because I was with Edward, I'm sure, and I didn't know how to act."

"That's high school people for ya," Alice commented. "They're really good at making you feel like crap. Funny 'bout that."

I shook my head and swallowed. "It got better after that, luckily. God, I don't know what I'd do if that is going to continue for every single day. Anyway, Edward talked to me, I got over myself and feeling like I was two inches small, and then I met up with you."

"And then people looked at me a bit, too!" Alice added.

I nodded. "Classes were bearable, as you know; you were in most of them anyway. Lunch, well, that was _interesting_, but nice at the same time. Even though—"

"Whoa, hold up," she demanded. "I know I said start from the start, but please just answer me this: Did you find out what the heck was up with Mike?" She lifted her tea up and took a cautious—it was still very hot—sip thoughtfully.

I almost smiled. Almost.

Instead, I snorted lightly.

"Huh. Yeah, I apparently blew him off or something."

Her quizzical look made me realise she didn't know what I meant.

I hastened to explain.

"Well, it was a while ago now that I agreed I'd catch up with Mike on the weekend to do some Bio homework with him. But I wasn't sure it was set in stone or anything—we didn't even confirm the day! It turns out he assumed it was last weekend, and so he was pretty angry at me for not being around."

"That's a little . . ." Alice trailed off. "Did you tell him why?"

"Yes. Once I told him I was in Florida, he seemed a little more contrite. But he was fairly rude." I bit my lip. "Actually . . . I ended up telling him he was rude, I think. I've never spoken up like that before, it was so weird."

Alice smiled. "Well, good for you, I say. Sounds like he had it coming."

I nodded, but I was still worrying my lower lip. After a deep breath I spoke about what was bothering me.

"You know, I do feel a bit guilty about it, though," I admitted. "It's hard to be angry at Mike—exasperated, sure, but not _angry_. And before the teacher even arrived at the classroom, Edward appeared and basically indicated for me to follow him."

I stared at Alice levelly.

"And?" she prompted gently.

"I just got up, left, and followed him."

We both stared at each other's faces for a long moment. A lot was conveyed in our blank and separate expressions. Then, as if she couldn't help it, a small tweak of a smile played on the corner of Alice's mouth and that was all that it took; we both ended up bursting into laughter.

"That is so unlike you!" Alice laughed wickedly.

"I know," I said. "I know." I gave her a lazy grin.

"I told Mike I felt sick. I told him I felt ill and then I just left."

Alice playfully punched the side of my arm. "Aw, that is so great! I don't know why it's so great, it just is."

"Ugh, I wouldn't say it's great. I'm going to feel terrible tomorrow when I see him."

"Well, come on! No point in dwelling on it . . . Instead, you can tell me what you and Edward talked about. I'm assuming he dragged you out of class for it? So you guys could go on a lovely little cruise through the ever-wet countryside . . ."

I gave her a look. "'Lovely little cruise'?" I repeated. "I wouldn't say it was lovely."

"What would you say it was then? Beautiful? Charming?"

"_Informing_."

"Ooooh," Alice's eyes flashed. "Informing how?"

"Because . . . Well, we talked a lot, actually, so it wasn't solely focused on this revelation, but Edward did tell me that he'd heard something about Friday with the pictures . . . And basically he knows who created them."

Alice's eyes seemed to somehow expand. "Oh my gosh, Bella," she whispered, all of a sudden very cautious with her behaviour. She gave me an apologetic look. "Eeek. Sorry. Here I am enjoying my good old self and completely ribbing the hell out of you." She shook her head at herself. "So Edward knows the sick and twisted and downright _awful_ person who did that to you? And . . . now you do as well?" She paused. "Why do you seem alright right now? Shouldn't you be really upset?"

Alice looked completely lost, sympathetic, and to top it all off, rather confused.

I took a breath. "Well, actually, I guess I am alright." I laughed weakly. "I have no idea why. But you should know you look almost as puzzled as Edward did at my reaction to it all. He . . . What were the words he used? I'm pretty sure he said, 'What's wrong with you? Why are you so calm?'" I gulped down a large portion of my tea, because it had cooled off tremendously by now. "And I honestly don't know. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. Maybe . . ."

I stopped.

I stared.

"What?" Alice asked innocently.

"This isn't right." I shook my head. "Why haven't you demanded to know who did it? I've brought it up multiple times now and you haven't said a word about it . . ."

Alice shrugged. "Who knows? Perhaps I've finally mastered the art of patience."

"You?" I tried that out for a minute before finally, once and for all, discarding it. "Nope. No way."

It didn't add up. Something else was the cause, I was sure. Alice's impatience was something I took for granted these days and having her basically bite her own tongue when it came to finding answers was strange.

More than strange.

I kept an even eye on her for a moment, just waiting. Waiting until she would spill. I knew it, I knew it as well as I knew myself that Alice would eventually tell me what was behind her motives. She wouldn't be Alice otherwise.

"What now?" Alice asked. Then she sighed and gave me a reproachful look. "Honestly, Bella, there's nothing big going on here. Nothing at all."

I raised an eyebrow. "Not buying it," I said. "You can't get through Christmas Eve without everyone basically telling you what they've gotten you."

She pouted. "Not fair. You make me sound like a complete demanding freak. Give me some credit." She ran her fingers through the short flicks of her hair. "Besides, your example doesn't count because I can normally guess what they've gotten me before they actually tell."

"So?" I countered.

"_So_, it's a completely different thing!"

I pursed my lips. It only took another minute before I saw results.

"Fine!" she exclaimed dramatically. "And you say _I'm_ persistent. You are the most stubborn girl in the entire world." She huffed and then rolled her eyes. "It's not a big deal. So for once I actually think of you in the equation and realise you might not want me jumping down your throat demanding answers to a delicate subject. Is that a crime? Patiently biding my time until you're comfortable to say it?"

Aw. I gave her a small smile, and our eyes held for a moment while my face showed my gratitude at her thoughtfulness.

And then she sighed.

"Okay, so what the heck with that. I'm a born again sinner. Tell me! I want to know what kind of pathetic person did it! Tell me tell me tell me tell me . . ."

"Alright!" I held a hand up and tried not to laugh at her suddenly animated expression. She'd totally changed her entire demeanour within seconds.

"Wait! Actually, I've changed my mind. I want to guess first," Alice decided. "Three guesses, at least."

I indicated for her to continue, trying to hide my smile. Only Alice was capable of turning a subject that probably should make me feel awfully insecure and upset and make it somehow nice and comforting.

She held a hand up to her mouth, tapping it against her lips in a thoughtful manner as she contemplated her options.

"Okay. So I won't say Tanya, because that's too obvious, and you said Edward was almost certain she didn't do it. So . . . I suppose my next guess would be . . . Irina? She's definitely dumb enough to think something like a Photoshopped picture of you would be smart."

I twisted my lips together.

And shook my head.

She slumped further down in her seat in defeat. "Damn. Damn. Alright-io. So maybe it wasn't Irina, but maybe it was . . . Who really hates you? There's got to be at least a few…"

"Thanks, Alice," I muttered.

She ignored me.

"Hmm . . . I would hazard a guess and say . . . Perhaps James?"

As I was about to yet again shake my head, she tried to stop my actions as she spoke loudly.

"No, no, wait! That's not my guess, I didn't mean that. James is too much of an a-hole to think of something as petty as that. That totally didn't count!"

"It so did!" I argued.

We squabbled for a few minutes before I finally won out. Alice put on false hurt but she still seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

"Fine. So, since I only have one guess left, because _somebody_ is a goody-two-shoes and won't let me cheat . . . I think I'll have to say . . . Simon."

She paused, and her eyes widened. "Oh my God. Why didn't I think of that before?" Her stunned gaze rose to meet mine and she shook her head in amazement. "It makes sense, doesn't it?? And that would explain why Edward was so pissy at Simon today. And Jasper, too, because he would've only just found out and he's such a nice person. Of course he'd punch him!"

She was so caught up in her own created hypothesis that she wasn't paying attention to my face. It clearly said it all. And I didn't know how to interrupt her.

"Al—no, Alice . . ."

She finally slowed down and zoned back down to earth.

"Hmm?"

"Simon didn't do it," I told her. "It wasn't him."

Alice immediately frowned. "Oh, poo! You really suck, Bella. It _was_ Tanya, wasn't it?! I knew it!"

I shook my head. "No! In fact, it was somebody who neither of us would have ever suspected."

Alice sighed. "Well, the suspense has sure as anything just about had away with me," she muttered.

So I let her have it. After all that, how could I not?

"Lauren did it," I informed her simply. "Lauren Mallory."

-------------

I lay completely reclined on my bed, my head propped up by a few plush pillows, waiting impatiently for the dial tone to end and for him to just pick his phone up already.

"Come on," I muttered, more to myself than to the phone. Thankfully, I still resembled some form of sanity after the demanding and twisted day. The only problem I was encountering right now that concerned my mental health was the fact that it was probably dwindling rather rapidly all of a sudden, due to a certain somebody who wasn't answering their phone.

"Urgh," I complained when I once again hit his voice mail. For the third time. This was beyond irritating—he _said_ he would be there. He promised to pick up.

So I kept trying. By now, I had his number completely memorised. More so than even mine, which I had trouble recalling from time to time.

"Pick up," I demanded, and it was rather saddening to realise that now I actually was indeed addressing the phone.

"Pick up, pick up, you promised you stupid little—"

"Hello?"

I let my breath out in a sigh of relief.

"Edward!" I half rejoiced, all worres of my sanity thrown out the window at the sound of his voice. "Finally. Took you long enough."

"Bella?"

"Of course," I said, raising my eyebrows in confusion. "Who else would it be? I told you I'd call."

"Hm," Edward replied. "Yeah, you did."

"So . . ." I picked absent-mindedly at the threads that wove intricate patterns on my bedspread with my fingers. "If you recall, you also basically _swore_ to me that you would pick up . . ."

"I did, didn't I?" _Now_ I could detect the sounds of a smile. "And I just did. So I'm assuming you're the cause for all the missed calls registering on my phone?"

I immediately got defensive. "Hey, I really needed to talk to you."

"I know," Edward said, his tone making me feel complacent. "Actually, I believe you really needed _me_ to talk to _you_, if you want to be exact."

There was a sudden sound in the background, and it must have been from Edward's side because everything was silent in the apartment; Alice was in her room, busying herself over her design work.

"I'm sorry," I quickly said, something dawning on me. "Did I call at a bad time? Are you busy?"

Not that I forgot, really, but Edward did have a life of his own and everything he did didn't necessarily form around me. I didn't want to be the girl who demanded all of her friend's attention with total ignorance of that fact.

"Naw, you're fine. It's just Emmett." It sounded like he was moving around as he spoke; was he going to his bedroom? "You should really meet him one day. He'll get a kick out of you."

I snorted lightly. "I'm sure."

"So," Edward said, "Do you want me to explain? You're being very patient."

"Well, if you don't mind. And perhaps my tolerant behaviour has stemmed from my conversation with Alice."

"You told her? Are you alright?"

Why was he always so worried about me?

"Of course I am," I insisted, slightly hurt that everybody seemed to think I was completely fragile. "And of course I did."

"And she makes you feel better all the time," Edward inserted matter-of-factly. "That's good. What did she have to say on it?"

"Not much," I told him. "I mean, she went a bit shocked for a moment, which is understandable, isn't it? I mean, like I told you, the words I've spoken to Lauren in my entire life are very minimal. She hung out with Jessica sometimes, but even my interaction with Jess is pretty basic, so there wasn't much mingling going on. And I've never been rude to her . . . And as far as I recall, she's never been anything but distant with me."

Edward made a thoughtful noise. "I know. I'm still really sorry. Are you _sure_ you don't want me to talk to her? I can—"

"Whoa, hey, definitely no," I interrupted him. "It's best to just leave it, isn't it?"

"You don't have to see her almost every day in Biology. It really sucks having her as my partner—if I thought it was bad before, now it's . . ." He trailed off with a pause, and I wondered where his thoughts had taken him.

"Actually," he began again, that's fairly brilliant. Maybe having her for a lab partner is the perfect excuse to—"

I interrupted him. Again. "No! Be nice, Edward. I mean, thanks and all, but I feel . . . _optimistic_ about it almost. Just let it be."

He sighed, not practically happy. "Fine," he conceded.

I tried to make my voice bright. "The only thing that's a problem right now is your silence. I want to know what's going on, please. You acted really off there for a while, and then you were completely normal, and then _Jasper_!" I wasn't being very clear, only voicing half of my thoughts and putting all the semi-formed ones together in one sentence.

Edward laughed. "Okay, alright. Are you comfortable?"

"Emotionally or physically?"

"Well, both, preferably, but this might take a while so it might be best to just relax."

I looked around at the expanse of my bed. "Oh, Edward, believe me I am. I'm so snug right now I think it would probably take a fair lot to get me off this bed. Maybe it's because I'm so tired." I yawned, sealing off the point I was making.

"Good then. So I'm guessing you want to know why Jasper ended up . . ."

"Socking James in the mouth? Well, sure, it couldn't hurt."

"I think it's important you see where Jazz is coming from. He's friends with James and everyone else as well, as I've told you before, but he tends to stay more in the background of things. That's Jasper for you though. He hasn't yet . . . up until this point today . . . had a reason to cause a dispute with them."

I made a disgruntled noise in the back of my throat that Edward artfully ignored.

"You have to know though, Jasper has never really gotten along with Simon very well. The two hardly talk, so it's not really a problem most of the time. But something happened, something that Jasper knew about for a while because he cared enough to see the truth and it ended up ending badly with both Simon and James, as you probably saw when you were in the car."

"Sure," I agreed. "But I'm still confused."

Edward sighed. "I know, Bella, but some things have been happening for longer than you've really known me. I'll tell you as much as I know, even though it's really neither of our businesses, just so you can understand. I know you won't tell anyone, but please remember not to judge here because it doesn't concern you, or even me."

"Of course," I whispered, suddenly sombre because of his tone and his words.

Edward took a deep breath on the other line. It made a static noise in my ear.

"Do you know Kate? Tanya's sister?"

"Yes," I said cautiously.

"It all basically evolves around her. Tanya and Kate are both very different girls; of course, most people know they have different parents. Tanya's adopted, much like how Esme and Carlisle adopted Emmet and I.

"Now there's a lot of history in this particular group of people; we all sort of intermingle with one another, if you get what I mean. Irina's with Simon at the moment, but she used to be with this other guy, Jared, and she's had a fling with James at some point in time I'm pretty sure as well. I don't really bother keeping up with everyone."

"Fair enough," I said.

"So because everyone has mixed history with a lot of other people things can get really confusing and that's why a lot of bitching and crap occurs a lot of the time. Kate's been really sick lately and because we're all a bunch of self-obsessed, shallow . . ." He took a deep breath. "Jasper noticed. He took notice that she was ill a lot and that she's been really quite lately, when no one else did. Tanya and Irina have been ignoring her a lot of the time recently and she's been having a really rough time in general. I only found out a few days ago, and pretty quickly a few other people heard about it as well. James and Simon, to be exact."

"I don't—"

"Kate's pregnant," Edward said simply, but with hardness in his voice. "She hooked up with some guy at a frat party and when she found out and told him he completely dropped all contact with her."

A huge gust of air exited my nose.

"Oh my gosh," I breathed, suddenly feeling completely terrible. I tried to think back all the times I'd encountered her and noticed how unwell she was looking. I felt like a total idiot. "Is she alright?"

"Well . . . Not really. I'm sure you can imagine. Jasper's been there for her though."

"Well that's good of him, at least." I paused. "Oh God, Edward, I fell terrible. I noticed how unwell she was looking and I didn't even bother asking her about it!"

"It's alright, Bella," he said, trying to assuage me worries. "You can hardly blame yourself. You're not even her friend. Unlike all of us, who have turned a complete blind eye on her and not done a single thing."

"It's hardly your fault either, Edward." I didn't like him blaming himself. It was wrong. "You've been preoccupied with all the crap I've basically unloaded you with."

"Either way, it doesn't make anything better. Kate's parents don't know but Jasper's trying to persuade her to tell them. The whole fiasco this afternoon boiled down James and Simon finding out somehow and confronting Jazz about it. You can imagine how horrible they would've been about it, because the pair of them are total fuckheads and . . ." He cleared his throat. "Sorry for swearing."

"Oh, Edward, I don't care!" I exclaimed in disbelief. I was also impatent for him to continue.

"Well I ended up joining the whole thing after Simon had walked off. He'd basically just been an insensitive prick, said his piece and walked off. James wouldn't let it drop, however. I won't even bother telling you what he said, I don't want you to have to hear it. It was completely tactless and degrading towards Kate, who Jasper has become good friends with, as you can well imagine. And then things got really heated between Jazz and James, and before long James started bringing other crap up to add to the ever-growing pile . . .

"You should know you were mentioned again, along with a few other things that you won't know about. But it all ended when Jasper punched James. Which was probably the highlight of the whole thing, and it would have been great if it could have escalated a bit so James could really have gotten it, but you were there by then so it was probably good the principal intervened."

I scoffed. "Oh, so you're blaming me now? I'm the reason you didn't beat the shit out of James?"

Yes, I swore, alright?

Edward laughed. "Not really. I'd like to think I'm not a violent person, Bella. I've gone down that road before and it always ends up the same way."

"So saying you couldn't because Alice and I were waiting was just a cover story to save your angelic ass from endless ribbing?"

I was teasing him now, but we needed some lightness to the conversation.

Edward was fairly serious when he answered, however.

"Actually, Bella, you were probably a really good thing in that equation for me. I've never had to weigh things up like that before. And yes, I would say it's your entire fault. Without you, there wouldn't have been a good reason for me to get as angry as I did when James said what he did, and without you, I wouldn't have to think twice about going after him for it. And yet again, without you, that whole process of pros and cons would never have existed and I would never have known that I was able to resist such strong temptation. You help me to realise things about myself that I would otherwise not know; you really show me that I'm able to abstain and be a better person for it. So yes, it's all your fault, and I'm thanking you for it."

I didn't know what to say to all that, because what he just said was deep, real deep. I could ponder that for all eternity and probably still be coming up with questions about it. It was such a typical Edward thing to do that: pull something amazing like that out of a rather awful conversation.

It would be impossible to answer with something equally as great. Edward was always upping me on the scale of everything, and yet he made it seem so simple and easy, and always twisted it so somehow I was the one the credit went to.

And somehow it worked for us.

Not being able to think of something conventional to say, I went with what I was feeling. I also realised I was feeling rather emotional.

"Thanks then, Edward," I whispered. "Thanks for believing so much about me."

-----------


	25. Insistant Demands and Tears

OHmeeeGOD. Okay, so did anyone else try to jump down a rabbit hole after seeing Alice in Wonderland? Or attempt to make-out with the 3D version of Johnny Depp's head? Honestly, I can't get over the fact I find him completely beautiful dressed up like a mad freak. In two days I shall have seen it four times Should've been five, but had to forfeit the tickets on the night it came out (!) Long story with that one.

Anyway, I'm in such a great mood because I have been listening to the Almost Alice CD on repeat for about four hours, that I just had to write you all something.

Enjoy.

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

25. Insistent Demands and Tears 

Wednesday went a _lot_ smoother than Tuesday had.

I was highly grateful for that; I didn't think I could handle any more drama without having to hit something. There's only a certain amount a person can take in a short time, and I'd just about reached my limit.

Edward hadn't picked Alice and me up this morning; we'd opted for the bus this time, but the smile on his face when he saw us as we arrived at school made me feel impossibly light. Things were just easier today, with less intensive and obtrusive stares, and a lot lighter chatter.

Edward sat with Alice and me at our new table, and just like Tuesday, Angela and Ben ended up joining us. Angela informed Edward and me collectively, when I ever-so-innocently inquired about how she thought Biology went yesterday, that we had a new teacher. Apparently the old one had been sacked, and the new teacher that had taken his place was starting over again from scratch with our class, completely ignoring everything else our old (pathetic) teacher had set up for us.

"She's really cool, too," Angela said, with unusual eagerness. "Like, she doesn't take any crap from anybody. I'm actually feeling optimistic about that class after all."

I was able to relax, finally, because Angela hadn't mentioned anything about Edward and mine's absence; apparently it hadn't been as obvious as I thought. Things were really looking up. I knew then that Edward could tell I was secretly relieved, and was trying his hardest not to comment on it with something stupid like "I told you so".

So I made it through the school day in one piece, my dignity fully intact. Mike had actually ended up mumbling some form of an apology to me when he passed me in the hall, and had also muttered that he hoped I was feeling better. That had made me blush, naturally, but I managed to scurry away before he could figure out why I was suddenly rather flustered. I didn't need Mike on my case to top everything else; no thanks!

Now school was over with for the day, and I was grateful; smooth it may have been, but wonderful it certainly was not.

Currently I was in Edward's car, and we were nearing my apartment. Alice wasn't there because she had an extra shift at work and had taken the bus from school to get there on time; it was the exact reason why Edward had basically told me—no buts about it—that he was driving me home.

For once, I completely welcomed the idea.

"Are you there, Bella?" Edward said, breaking me out of my daze as he referred to my distracted state of mind.

I looked to him, and couldn't help but smile slightly. "Yeah."

Outside the rain was holding off, but the clouds looked depressingly ominous; it probably wouldn't hold off for very long.

"Do you want to come up?" I asked Edward suddenly as he pulled into my street. I blushed slightly at the loud voice I'd used to question him with, but looked at him all the same. "I mean, like, come inside. In the apartment."

He was so casual and relaxed when he answered, it made me envious.

"You're not busy?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Not at all. There's not one homework assignment to keep me busy with."

He turned to me and smiled easily, his hair rumpled and wild, his face a warm expression that made me feel at ease. "Really?" he wondered.

"Why not?" I looked at him, confused.

He shrugged, pulling deftly into a spare parking spot off the road. "I don't know. I just thought you had this real aversion to letting me inside your home."

He turned the ignition off as I tried to think of how to answer.

"Well, no, not exactly . . ." I trailed off, not knowing how to say what was on my mind.

It was true, for the most part. I had never wanted him to set foot in my apartment; I didn't want him to see where I _lived_. I had this whole paranoia going on that made me feel like having him see where I lived would automatically make him judge me and my surroundings. It was stupid, but it was also very present and persistent.

But things had changed. Not only had Edward already been inside the apartment when he invited himself up that day I'd gotten back from Florida, but he had also proved a million times over that he really wasn't that shallow. When I was with him, I felt like he wasn't even paying attention to things like that; he didn't care what I looked like, he cared how I was feeling. His eyes didn't focus on what was there but what was beyond it. To have thought in the first place that I should be embarrassed about my humble living arrangements around him was so pointless. I was lucky. Most people my age were still living with their parents—and if it weren't for Alice and her generous family, I still would be too.

Edward waited patiently as I gathered my thoughts, his own expression that of one in deep contemplation.

I tried to explain right. There was no use in denying there had been a time when I really hadn't wanted him to come up. He already knew it.

I shifted in my seat. "Edward," I began, "I'm really sorry about that. You're right. I used to have this weird paranoia that you would ever see where I lived, and it was so stupid and I can't even explain why I felt like that." I looked into his eyes and shrugged. "But what can I say? I've grown up now. And you're welcome to come to my home any time you want. Seriously." I tried to convey just how honestly and completely I meant what I was saying with my eyes. I really did mean it. I didn't want him to feel unwanted.

Edward's face was straight for a moment while his eyes were on mine, right before it slowly slid into one of his best smiles he generally reserved for special occasions.

"You want to hang out?" he checked, his smile now growing into a fully-fledged grin.

I think he was teasing me a little.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, like, whatever, you know. I mean, it was just a suggestion, you can take it or leave it—"

He poked me lightly in the side, making me squirm, and then he winked at me. "Come on," he said, already getting out of his side of the car. "Quit stalling."

"You can't get in there without me, you know!" I exclaimed, scrambling to undo my seatbelt and follow him outside.

As my fingers fumbled for the doorhandle, I couldn't help but smile at Edward's back as he made a show of getting inside the lobby before me. He was such a loser, in the best of ways. Completely unafraid to make a fool of himself if it meant making me smile.

I was completely grinning as I raced to catch up to him.

-------------------

"Okay, okay," Edward laughed. "Favourite colour?"

My brow crumpled at his simple question. "I don't know!" I complained. "I kind of like all of them. With just one colour in the world, things would be really dull."

Edward shook his head, mocking disappointment. "And to think I once called you articulate. You have been unable to answer one simple question properly for the past half hour!"

"Have so!" I argued back. "You just keep asking stupid questions. It's not my fault."

Edward leant back on his arms, looking at me with a serious expression. "Fine," he conceded. "Tell me your favourite number."

I sighed. Honestly, we'd been going through this for ages. Sprawled out on the floor next to the couch with a bunch of pillows, both of us seemed reluctant to move onto the more appropriate couch that was right there. The floor just seemed strangely better.

"I don't have one either," I admitted, scrunching my face up as I awaited his reaction.

Edward made a rumbling noise in his chest out of annoyance. "Do you ever make anything easy?"

"Well I have a favourite sum," I offered feebly, shrugging and pulling a face.

"Really?" He looked honestly curious now. "What is it? Is it normal to have a favourite mathematical equation?"

"Oh, do shut up," I told him lightly. "If you must know, for some undiscovered reason, I am quite partial to the sum 8×7."

"8×7?" Edward repeated. "Why?"

"I don't know," I told him truthfully. "It just seems so odd that 8×7 would equal 56. I just automatically fell like it should equal something greater, but it doesn't. That's why I love it."

Edward smiled and shook his head. "You're weird," he said conversationally.

I snorted. "Wow, thanks."

He reclined back further and grinned lazily. "Favourite fruit?"

"Apples," I said, triumphant that I could properly answer that one.

"Reason?"

"They're the most common fruit ever, and generally get overlooked because of it."

He mulled that over. "Fair enough," he decided. "Favourite book?"

"Don't have one."

"Movie?"

"Don't have one."

"Favourite date you've gone on?"

"Don't have one," I answered again.

"Really?" Edward asked exasperatedly. I was pretty sure my lack of answers was driving him insane, but he was handling it pretty well.

I shook my head. "I've never gone on a proper date before," I informed him.

Edward was fully reclined now, lying on his side, propping his head up with his elbow; completely mimicking my own position as he faced me.

He looked taken aback. "Wait—really?"

I nodded, wondering why he seemed so shocked by that.

His face was troubled now. "So none of your boyfriends ever took you out at all? Isn't that almost customary?"

I shook my head, slightly amused. "No, it definitely isn't, and no, I've never had a boyfriend either." I carefully took a few pieces of popcorn in my hand from the bowl that was lying between us and chewed on them as I watched his reaction with steady eyes.

Edward had an odd look on his face. "Are you serious?" he asked. "You've never had a boyfriend before? Not once?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure, Edward," I laughed, shaking my head. "I think I would recall something like that."

Edward stared at me. While he was staring, it was impossible to look anywhere else. The deep green of his eyes drew me in and I started to feel slightly uncomfortable.

"What?" I demanded, needing to know why he was looking at me like that.

"No, it's nothing, really, I just can't believe that." Edward frowned my way, almost like he was waiting for me to tell him I was just joking and I had, in fact, been out with half a dozen guys.

I couldn't believe this.

"Would you stop looking at me like that?!" I requested, frowning now too as I slid off the floor and sat up, crossing my legs.

"I'm just surprised, that's all," he said, sitting up too. "Why haven't you?"

"Why haven't I what? Gone out with someone? I don't know."

"There's got to be a reason," Edward persisted, not letting the subject drop.

"Why?" I demanded, now starting to feel, for the first time ever, like I was being judged by him. All of a sudden, where there had before been an absence of it, self-consciousness was starting to creep up on me. I was feeling almost embarrassed for not having more of a social life, and I couldn't believe that I was being made to feel bad for it. "Why do you care so much?" I demanded again. "Are you telling me I should feel ashamed that I've never had a boyfriend before?"

Edward was immediately contrite. "What? No. Of course not." He shook his head vehemently. "No, sorry, Bella, I didn't mean it like that. Of course I didn't. I was just surprised."

I raised my eyebrows at him, not sure yet if I believed what he was saying.

He gave me a serious look. "Come on," he said. "Don't think like that. You shouldn't feel ashamed about something insignificant like that."

"Well I never have before until now," I told him truthfully. "I just want to know why it's such a big deal. I've never gone out with anybody because, quite honestly, there's never been anybody I have _wanted_ to go out with. Why should I have to feel desperate enough to get a boyfriend, any boyfriend, because I feel pressured to do so? That's just stupid."

Edward looked at me and seemed to almost smile slightly. "You're right, that would be stupid," he agreed, and then shook his head. "I'm sorry if I seemed accusing before. I honestly was just surprised. But you are right: They're all too good for you anyway."

He looked at my slyly and winked.

I rolled my eyes but a smile was on my face, all the same, albeit reluctant.

"Oh, cheer up," Edward commanded, picking some popcorn up himself and throwing it at my face in a smooth manner that I would never hope to achieve. I chocked in surprised as a few kernels hit me and popcorn landed in my hair. "I'm sorry that I picked a bad question. It's all my fault, you can blame me and then we can get over it. Besides, I want to know what your favourite food is."

Well, I had to give him props for pulling me out of my slump, even as I brushed the popcorn that had tangled in my locks away. I half-heartedly threw a lone piece back at him, smiling a little when it hit his nose. "Pavlova," I told him. "I am simply in love with all types of pavlova."

His smile was wicked my way. "Pavlova, hey? That's quite interesting."

I smiled and nodded politely, indicating I'd heard him. But a part of me was curious now. I didn't think I was completely ready to drop the entire subject of past partners—or lack thereof. Edward was talking again, and I was half-listening, but I was distracted as I contemplated whether it would be appropriate to ask the question that was foremost on my mind. His face was alive and animated and warm as he spoke, completely and utterly open to me. I was so thankful that was the case. It made me feel a lot bolder.

"Edward," I said when he was finished, and he cocked his head to the side as he waited for me to continue.

"Edward, I was wondering . . . Please tell me, because I'm honestly curious—how long where you with Tanya?" I bit my lip as soon as the words where out, but I didn't feel embarrassed enough to blush. I was more anxious to hear his answer.

Edward stopped, looking a little taken aback. His perfect brows rose as he perceived me.

"Really? I thought we were getting away from subjects like these," he said, seeming a little confused. "Is it really important?"

I rolled my eyes as I let my breath out in a huff. Only he wouldn't understand the pressing issue it represented.

"Ah, yeah, it is," I persisted, because he looked disbelieving. "To me it is, anyway. I want to know. And you seemed to think it was fine before to bring up something like this about me, so why shouldn't I have the same courtesy?"

He was smiling then, all traces of disbelief gone in an instant. And he nodded. "Okay, okay, fair enough." He shook his head, more to himself. "Excuse me if I'm a little reluctant to go there right now . . . It's not so nice to think . . . Well . . ."

I swallowed and nodded in recognition. I could understand how he felt, even if I couldn't really feel that way myself. Having fallen out with the people he'd grown up with, and having a massive fight with his ex-girlfriend who he previously was still good buddies with . . . It probably wasn't so nice to have to bring the subject up. Especially in front of me, because he most likely felt that I disapproved of his relationship with her.

Which was true, I supposed, in some senses, but at the end of the day, why would I judge him on something like that? It had nothing to do with me.

Edward sighed, but a small bit of his smile still remained, and he directed it my way. He ran a hand through his hair absent-mindedly. "Well, I didn't exactly keep close tabs on the dates of everything . . . But I guess we dated seriously for about a year? We broke up at the end of last year, so that would be just about right." His smile now turned wistful. "We were always friends, even after we split . . . Emmett couldn't stand her. The feeling was pretty much mutual, because Tanya couldn't stand him for very long either." He rolled his eyes, as if to roll away the memories. "But I guess Emmett was kind of right in the end about her, hey? I think he used to describe her as '_vapid'_. . ." Edward ran his hand through his hair again, almost like it was a comforting habit.

I chewed thoughtfully on the inside of my cheek as I pondered what he was saying. "Really?" I wondered after a moment. "I thought it was for longer than a year." I scrunched my face up as I tried to think back. "Actually, I was under the impression it was a lot longer. Like three years or something."

Edward shifted uncomfortably. "Well, no. it definitely wasn't serious for any more than a year."

My eyes appraised him. I picked up on the hidden meaning of his words almost immediately, surprising myself at how sharp I was at the moment.

I cocked my head to the side. "Really? What do you mean though, 'Wasn't serious for more than a year'?" I frowned little as I considered his words. "Were you . . . Did you ever hook up before that?"

I think I sort of knew the answer. Even if I hadn't, it would've been obvious by the way Edward reacted.

He shifted again and cleared his throat. "Well . . . Not really. Kind of. But not . . ." His cheeks were slightly pink; nothing like the obnoxious red mine turned to, but a soft colouring. I couldn't help but find it sort of adorable, and also slightly annoying; he even made blushing look good.

My eyes appraised him and my mouth nearly fell open in utter incredulity. "Edward Cullen," I said, stunned, my voice higher than it normally was due to surprise. "Are you _embarrassed_?"

I said the word like it was something amazingly rare and significant. Which, in a way, it was. I'd never seen Edward uncomfortable before. He was always so in control, completely calm and collected. Even when he was angry, he still seemed somewhat together.

Edward's heated stare flashed my way. "No." He shook his head. "I just . . ."

I couldn't help but laugh once in shock. "Oh my gosh, you really are. And I thought it was an impossibility." I reached out to touch his arm lightly in comfort, composing my face. "It's alright, Edward, honestly. You don't have to talk about it anymore."

"But I don't want you thinking anything that isn't true," he insisted. "I say 'not really', because we _didn't_ really, but like I was saying before, when you're a close group of friends . . ."

I was now patting his arm. "It's okay. I get it. You don't have to explain anything to me."

I paused.

"Actually, please, please, please explain one thing to me: Where you ever with Irina?"

He gave me a dirty look.

I secretly enjoyed it.

"No," he said forcefully, clearly hating this conversation. "Give me some credit, please."

I rolled my eyes. "Relax." I grinned, trying to lighten up his mood. "I was only teasing you. I didn't know I was able to do it until right now."

I sprang to my feet, picking up the popcorn bowl as I went. I walked over to the kitchen counter and placed it on the bench.

"I'll get you a drink. I know I need one. Who would've guessed, Edward, that I would be able to uncover all your weak spots?"

I was smiling away to myself as I fetched a fresh bottle of water out of the fridge.

"What do you mean?"

I hadn't heard Edward come up behind me, but his voice was so gentle it barely startled me.

I turned around to face him and handed him the water.

"Oh, nothing really," I smiled. "Just now if you try to annoy me, I finally have some ammunition. You totally squirmed during that conversation."

He rolled his eyes, but a small smile tweaked up his lips.

"I guess I'm going to have to trust you with it then, huh?" he replied, taking a swig.

I winked. "I'll guard your secrets with my life."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Okay. Totally end of chappie… But I'll do a meagre half-one because I want to post up something longer. Perhaps refraining from interrupting your reading would've made the transition slightly smoother, but at least this gives it the feel that this really is the end of that supposed chapter.

Here… We… GO.

25½. (Part two)

When Alice returned home—the clock on the far wall indicating that it was just starting to creep past seven at night—she found the lounge empty of all activity.

Laughter could be heard from the bedroom, and that was because Edward and I had relocated a while ago into the realms of my room so he could take a look at one of the many photo albums I'd collected over the years. The particular one that rested between his large hands currently held collaborations of pictures both Alice and I had taken over the years.

Most of them were pretty ridiculous.

We'd been observing them together for a good half an hour, and I was so engrossed in his reactions to them all—I was worried to begin with that I was boring him, but he was insistent this was not the case—that I didn't hear Alice come in.

I was also completely oblivious when the very-obvious sounds of someone storming around who was upset came flooding through the open door and filled the fairly quite space around Edward and I.

Embarrassingly enough, Edward was a lot more astute to them than myself. He looked up from the photo that was wedged between two train tickets and into my face with a hesitant, concerned look. Before I could even ask him what was the matter, Alice was stumbling through the door.

My attention immediately snapped to her, the question on my lips entirely forgotten, and not because it was already answered. It had more to do with her expression, her face, her whole demeanour. I knew instantly that something was wrong. Her sudden appearance was still catching up with me as my mind raced, trying to pinpoint the reason why she would be like how she was.

"What is it?" I demanded unthinkingly. I scrambled to get off the bed, wanting to be by her side, but she beat me to it, crawling onto the piece of furniture so she was by my side.

Her small face looked up at mine. It was obvious she'd been crying. Wide, hurt eyes were glistening and her petite mouth was turned down at one corner. It was a heartbreaking expression. Like staring into the eyes of a wounded puppy.

I became aware of Edward by my side as he surreptitiously slid the photo album away from me and closed it shut quietly, placing it next to him.

"I'm so angry, Bella!" Alice exclaimed, tears threatening her voice as she frowned my way. "I am just so _mad_, I could—I would just like to—" She took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Would you like me to leave?" Edward asked quietly, trying not to get in the way of anything.

Alice was shaking her head furiously without even looking at him. She wasn't looking at me any more either. My comforter seemed to be the main focus of her heated and watery gaze.

"I feel like it was all for nothing. Everything! For no reason at all. I mean, you'd think I would've foreseen something like this, wouldn't you? I don't know why I thought everything was going to _work_ _out_."

I tried to pat her on the back in a soothing manner, but the truth was, I was utterly lost. I didn't know what the matter was, so I didn't know what to say to help.

I was also silently castrating myself. Alice was home nearly an hour later then she was supposed to be—I could've noticed and actually rang her, perhaps preventing whatever had gotten her so upset.

"Hey, Alice?" I tried out gently. "It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay."

"_God_!" she exclaimed to no one in particular.

Edward shifted at my side, clearly a little uncomfortable. The poor guy. I caught his eye and he jerked his head slightly in the direction of my open door.

I shook my head, mouthing a "_No_". If Alice had wanted him to leave, she would've said.

"What's wrong, Alice?" I asked, trying my best to get her to look at me. "What happened?"

She sniffled angrily, and looked up into my eyes.

"Jasper _Whitlock_ happened, that's what," she spat heatedly. Her small body was almost trembling with her hurt and rage.

"Jasper?!" I said in disbelief. Now I really had no clue what was wrong.

Her eyes were earnest and irked, and very, very sad. "Do you want to know what happened?" she asked rhetorically. "Do you want to know what he _said_?" Her voice was quickly turning bitter. "I saw him," she said. "I saw him tonight on my way home from work when I stopped to get a drink—he was out with some stuck-up bitch who was all over him. I interrupted, but _hello_, how am I supposed to know something was going on? _He_ used to come up to _me_."

"And . . ." I trailed off hopelessly.

_That_ definitely seemed to ignite her fire.

"And?!" she repeated heatedly. "And he basically told me in a very formal manner to _fuck off_, once he'd gotten away from her." She wiped a hand under eyes where her make-up was starting to run. "What the hell is the matter with him? He's gone completely cold, and it _hurts_, Bella, I'm so angry I could—"

"It's alright," I smoothed, thinking that maybe it would've been better if Edward left. Alice was mindlessly bad-mouthing his best friend at every turn; not that he seemed in the least bit concerned about that.

She sniffled unhappily, trying to calm down.

"I'm sure he was upset _before_ you came in," I assured her.

Alice snorted delicately. "Sure."

"Errr . . ." Edward cleared his throat unsurely, looking a little uncertain when both Alice and I turned to him in question. "I hope you don't mind asking, but _where_ did this take place again?"

Alice answered morosely in a mumble, giving him the name of a local café.

Realisation flooded his features. "Oh," he said with sudden understanding. And then he fell quiet again.

Alice and I continued to look at him questioningly, waiting.

"What?" he said when he realised we were both obviously waiting for something from him. "I just wanted to clarify that, because I was confused. When Alice said she went to get a drink, I just automatically assumed she went into a bar or something and . . ." He trailed off, shrugging. He looked from Alice to me, and then rolled his eyes.

"Give me a break," he muttered.

Alice turned away, but I kept my eyes on him until he looked at me. I gave him a small smile. It was so typical of Edward to try and be so polite about everything.

"For the record, I don't drink alcohol," Alice said. And then she grimaced, still dejected.

"Aw, Alice, cheer up! So he told you to go away—maybe something was on his mind. You don't know."

She gave me a sardonic stare. "I tried asking him about yesterday and how he was doing now. He wouldn't answer. When I asked if he was out with that girl he was with, he actually said to me, 'So what if I am? What's it to you?'"

I bit my lip. I didn't know how to come up with a different conclusion for that one.

Alice continued. "He _obviously_ can't stand me. I feel so stupid now, thinking he might actually be interested. I mean, what am I to him? Some stupid little girl who's completely and scarily devoted to him." She hung her head, groaning. "It's so embarrassing . . ."

Edward interrupted again, careful as always. "Hold up . . ." Edward said slowly. "Are you telling me you like Jasper Whitlock?"

Alice little scowl said it all.

His face transformed from concern to amusement instantly and his head fell back as he started to laugh.

And, for the first time, I found I couldn't join him.

* * *

Whoo. Fear not, pretty ones, Jasper's odd behaviour will be explained.

Now . . . Anyone wanna drop me some love??


	26. An Unexpected Turn

**Sigh. Thank you so much for all your responses. This next chapter should hopefully make you smile . . . No EPOV yet, I know it's been missing for ages. It's better that way, trust me.**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

26. An Unexpected Turn

"_Hold up . . ." Edward said slowly. "Are you telling me you like Jasper Whitlock?"_

_His face transformed from concern to amusement instantly and his head fell back as he started to laugh._

_And, for the first time, I found I couldn't join him._

_-------------_

Alice's sniffles subsided as she stared at Edward, shock and hurt radiating off her in huge tidal waves of outrage. The fact that Edward was laughing while she was in pain was so strange, unexpected and completely horrible. I didn't know what was wrong with him. How could he be so heartless?

Edward's laugh died down into a quiet chuckle as he shook his head back and forth. I caught eyes with Alice; the confusion and hurt was still primarily present, but I knew she wasn't so upset that her surprise wouldn't turn into anger soon if he didn't shut up.

"_Edward_ . . ." I muttered, frowning as I stared at my lap, not wanting to catch eyes with him when he was being like this.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he laughed quietly. "That's just so sad."

My response was immediate; I snapped my eyes to his face and scowled at him in disgust. If I was a more outspoken person who had a lot more confidence, I probably would have slapped him.

Edward was my friend. He had always been great up until this point in time. That didn't mean I was going to put up with any sort of behaviour from him that hurt my very best friend.

I wouldn't accept that from anybody, no matter how good-looking they were, or how popular.

"You know what?" I said loudly. "Maybe you should leave. Like, right now." I crossed my eyes over my chest as I stared at him. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but if you're going to be rude, I want you out of my home."

Alice's gaze leapt to mine in total surprise. She was the one who gave speeches like that, not me.

_Don't worry, Al_, I thought. _I'll step in on your behalf whenever you need it_.

Edward held up his hands, like he was surrendering. "No, no, you don't understand," he told me, his eyes earnest. They drifted over to Alice's wet face, and he spoke to her this time. "I didn't mean to laugh at you like that prospect was a problem. I'm laughing because it's just so _typical_ that Jasper would screw something up like this."

Okay, so maybe he could be kicked out later. I was intrigued, besides myself. I wanted to know what he meant.

"Explain," I said simply.

Edward smiled, and I would be lying if I declared that when he edged closer to Alice I wasn't taken aback. He spoke primarily to her now.

"Alice?" he said cautiously. "I'm sorry you're upset. I'm sorry Jasper was a tool. Trust me; he's like that a lot of the time. You might want to get used to it."

She glanced up at him, eyes wide. Tears were still clinging to her eyelashes, and I was amazed that she could cry and still manage to look good doing it.

"So you're saying I should just _forget it_ because that's his nature to be like that?!" She shook her head frantically. "I know him. I know you do as well, but the Jasper I know is actually surprisingly shy at times and is always kind."

Edward nodded, smiling slightly. "Well, yeah, alright. I'll give you that. But I can hardly use those terms when I'm explaining his nature without sounding completely ridiculous." He was smiling crookedly now. "But he _can_ be a tool. A little insight into the world: all boys can be dicks. And of course you shouldn't just forget about it. Call him out on it. Don't let him get away with _anything_."

I was watching this exchange incredulously. I didn't mean to be prejudice or sexist when I said this, but I'd always been under the impression that guys were pretty much hopeless when it came to comforting people. That they got all awkward and wanted to leave the moment any emotion was brought up.

Now, Edward was definitely going about this in a total different manner then I would've, but I was rapidly observing that he was doing a better job than I could ever hope to accomplish. Alice just looked thoughtful as she spoke now, and I relaxed, glad she was better.

She sighed. "Okay, okay. But that still doesn't really explain his behaviour, unless he has some mood disorder that makes him totally bi-polar."

She paused, cocking her head to the side as her eyes narrowed on him. "Actually, I'm wondering if _you've_ got a mood disorder too. You didn't have to _laugh_ at me before. I'm slowly seeing how stupid I am, so indicating how ridiculous the notion of crushing on Jasper is pretty pointless."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Don't you get it? I'm laughing because the pair of you are just so perfect for each other. You're both entirely clueless. I don't mean to sound crass when I say this, but if you just hurried up and _jumped_ him, you'd probably be a lot happier."

"Jump him?!" Alice repeated. "Well that's brilliant advice, isn't it, when he's _going out with someone else_ and isn't interested."

"But that's where you're wrong. He's not going out with anyone else."

"Well he definitely isn't interested!"

She was bickering. This was a good sign.

Edward barked out a laugh again and pulled on the strands of his hair. "Christ, you both are going to have to work on this." He squared his shoulders and looked deep into Alice's eyes, as if he was trying to communicate something to her that she wasn't grasping. "How do you know he isn't interested?"

Alice spluttered. "Did you not listen to anything I told you before? He basically told me as such, not even two hours ago."

"And you don't think he might have said that because he thought _you_ weren't interested?"

"What?" Alice looked gobsmacked. Her eyes darted to mine questioningly and back to Edward in a second.

Edward just shook his head. "Thinking Jasper Whitlock hasn't been crazy about you since middle school is absolutely absurd. I didn't know you liked him back until now, so I'm thinking he might be a bit oblivious to it as well."

Alice's eyes had never been wider. She looked like she hadn't heard him, or if she had, like she didn't know what to do with that bit of information.

My _own_ eyes where the size of saucers, following this exchange between my two friends like it was a tennis match.

"But . . ." she trailed off weakly. "But he was so cold to me!"

Edward grimaced. "Yeah. Like I said, he's being a tool. It might have something to do with the fact that he's under the impression you're with someone else. I don't know how he got that notion, but he thinks you hooked up with someone in Florida."

It was like he had just flicked the light bulb on.

"Alice!" My hand went to my mouth, and she stared at me, shocked. "Don't you remember Sean?"

She gaped at me. Then she shook her head. "No. No! I didn't hook up with him, not hardly."

Edward shrugged, eyes going between both Alice and I. "Jasper's just being a baby. Don't worry about it."

"Don't _worry_ about it?!" she exclaimed. "How can you say that? This is awful."

I looked to Edward. "And you say that Jasper's liked Alice for a while?"

Edward rolled his eyes, chuckling quietly to himself. "Oh, hell yeah."

"Really?" Alice whispered, like she could hardly dare herself to hope.

Edward gave her a very serious look. "Alice, when I first met Bella on that night of that party, I had no idea who she was."

I snorted, interrupting what he was saying. He ignored me.

"She mentioned you, and to be completely honest, I probably wouldn't have known who you were either. But I did."

Alice's brow crumpled in confusion, while something clicked slowly into place in my head.

"I knew you," Edward continued, "because Jasper hadn't been able to shut up about you for years."

There was a heavy silence as what he said gradually sunk into place. It made sense to me. Finally, everything seemed to make sense, and I hoped it was the same for Alice.

Alice looked to him. "Are you sure?" she whispered. "You're not just playing with me?"

Edward shook his head. "Of course not. I'd been hearing your name so often it was almost irritating. You yourself said that Jasper could be shy—I don't think you understood the extent of it when it comes to you. However, I simply think it's a tiny bit pathetic. You do realise, right, that if either of you had been straight and just told each other how you feel, you could've been together so much sooner?" He looked amused shortly, but that faded when his voice softened as he saw Alice's face. "Look. Jasper screwed up. He's probably really unhappy right now, drowning in whatever self-guilt he's cooked up for himself. I promise you that girl he was with didn't mean anything. I highly doubt he was actually there to be with her either. So"—Edward shifted—"How about I take you to Jasper's right now? I know it's right on dinner time, you're probably tired, but I can drive you there and we can sort this out. Or you can sort this out, preferably. I'm not interfering."

Alice looked like she had the first signs of a smile on her face since she'd arrived home.

"Really?" she checked. "You'd do that? Take me there?"

Edward nodded. "Of course. I can even be there to back you up if you want me to. He's my best mate—if he says anything horrible again, I can just kick his ass."

Now Alice really was smiling. I had a grin on my face too, to be honest. Watching this moment pass between the two of them was oddly touching. I couldn't keep my eyes off Edward's face.

"Oh, another thing—hopefully this will give you confidence . . ." Edward trailed off, and then his face broke into a wide beam. "You wanted to know why Jasper got so ticked off and punched James in the face? Let's just say that he's pretty protective of you behind your back, and doesn't let anyone get away with saying anything about you."

Alice's face was like a child's on Christmas morning. I didn't think I'd ever seen her go from being so miserable to so elate before, in such a short time. The comparison was almost comical, if her pain hadn't been so real.

And I was so, so grateful. So grateful towards Edward. The fact that he could so easily give my friend such happiness made me feel happy myself. I highly doubted that if he was absent the outcome would be the same; there was no way I was able to say the things he did, in the comforting manner he always portrayed.

Alice turned to me, all excited. Her cheeks were still flushed slightly pink from her crying fit, but there was such a wide smile on her face it made up for it. "Oh my gosh! I'm going to see Jasper," she said to me, as if she could hardly believe it.

"I know," I laughed, smiling. "Better go clean up that face of yours, girl. This is it."

Her eyes widened like she nearly forgot she'd been crying for the past half hour, and she looked so appreciative in that moment it made my smile go all soft. She leaned over and pecked me lightly on the cheek.

"Will do," she said, almost singing. She slipped off the bed and was about to walk out of my room without further ado until she stopped, pausing mid-turn.

Her eyes slowly appraised Edward's; he looked back at her calmly.

"Thank you," she said, her words sincere. "Thank you so much."

And then she grinned, turned, and bounced out of the room.

-

"Wow, you can really work wonders," I observed, staring at the door Alice had just exited in a rush. I was in awe.

Edward's eyes were where mine were, trained on the spot of her disappearance. He chuckled lightly at my comment. "I didn't think making her so happy would be that easy," he confessed. He turned to me with a slow smile. "I hope she's alright. Seriously, I feel pretty bad for her."

I waved a hand to wave away his worry. "Don't," I told him. "She's fine now—couldn't you tell? Absolutely ecstatic, and it's all thanks to you."

He looked away to the far wall; the light had dimmed considerably from six o'clock onwards, and now it was dark—one of the lamps was on in my bedroom, but that was it. So the light was pretty limited in my room, definitely not bright; somehow, though, Edward's hair gleamed brighter as a result of it. His hair colour really was rather peculiar. Lovely, as was a given when it came to anything about him, but certainly unusual.

"How are _you_ feeling?" he asked me, glancing back to my face with his normal concerned expression when it came to anything about me and how I was feeling.

His concern was rather touching, particularly after we had both just witnessed somebody else ride an emotional rollercoaster for one of the shortest, event-filled times.

"I'm fine," I answered automatically, shrugging. "Great."

His lips pressed together but he nodded once. Gradually, his gaze wandered back to the wall and it was silent between us for a few moments as we sat on the bed, waiting as Alice got herself ready for her confrontation in her own room.

He stared at the wall as I stared at him; I hadn't been aware of it before, but now I realised that he was sitting mere inches away from me. The space that had been between us before was minimal, back when we were viewing the discarded photo album, but since Alice had been here he'd moved even closer. I was amazed just how closely, and at the fact that I hadn't noticed him shift.

"How long do you think she'll be?" he asked idly after a while. Not in a pressing manner, just curious.

"No idea" was my vague answer, and then we both seemed to drift back into the comfortable silence like before.

I really was lucky when it came to him. Looking at Edward now when he was so close to me—his head was turned off to the side, so I was watching his alarmingly-stunning profile—made me see him as an outsider, someone who didn't know him the way I did. Edward's real beauty was inside him, and had nothing to do with his face, his body, his grace. But even if I was oblivious to this, to the real him, and I was once again a stranger, it would be impossible not to acknowledge and be taken aback by how good-looking he was.

I hadn't noticed the things I was noticing now when I first met him, because when I first met him I had a warped perception of him as some arrogant, sleazy player. That made me automatically dislike just about everything about him. Yes, I was certainly not thick enough to be blind to his looks, but how can you truly appreciate something you hold so in contempt? You just didn't.

Now I really could see him. The smoothness of his skin, the startling shade of his eyes, the smooth curve of his lips and the angular shape of his jaw. I could see his beauty and be confident that it wasn't in the least bit superficial—you couldn't say it was excessive when it portrayed perfectly the nature of his soul. I knew him both inside and outside now, and the feeling it was giving me was making me feel strange.

I wasn't used to feeling the way I was feeling. I didn't know why now, out of the blue, I was suddenly noticing everything I was noticing. And I certainly had no clue why I was suddenly so aware of everything there was to be aware of.

The way the light threw dark, pretty shadows across his face. The way his chest rose and fell infinitesimally with each breath he took. The slight hunch of his strong shoulders, the width of his hands as they rested on his knees. The length of his dark, thick lashes, which somehow didn't take away once ounce of the masculinity he had.

Everything, anything. I was documenting it all, so highly _aware_ of just how close he was away from me, how if I moved even the slightest bit forward I would be touching him . . .

"I hope it's okay with you that I'm taking Alice to Jasper's," Edward said suddenly, surprising me and zoning me in on thoughts that made logical sense. "I was planning on spending a bit longer with you, but this is kind of important."

"Oh, no, that's fine," I murmured softly.

Edward turned his head slightly so he was facing me better, and smiled. "You know, she's a nice girl, that friend of yours. I guess you picked well. I still feel bad. I hope she's okay. It's so typical Jasper would get bent out of shape over something like this, he has a habit of—"

And I was much ashamed later on to realise I didn't listen to a word he was saying any further than this point. Because Edward was mere inches away from me, looking into my eyes, and expressing his worry relating to my best friend.

I didn't think it was possible for anybody as perfect and caring and funny and charming to exist in the world. It was even more unbelievable that that very person was sitting so close to me.

I was drinking him in, all of him, my eyes on his even though they probably weren't all too focused. I was drinking in all of his movements, the sound of his voice, the way his mouth moved as he shaped his words . . .

I didn't think about it. It was completely and one-hundred-percent-ly automatic; utterly instinctual. As soon as his head shifted away from me and he turned his face back to that blasted wall, all I knew was that I had to be looking at him. That he had to be looking at me. He had to.

I grabbed his face with both of my hands, and he turned towards me in surprise, just as I pressed my lips against his own.

One second.

One heartbeat.

That was all it was.

His lips were soft and still and surprised against mine. The thrill of such contact seemed to ignite inside my own body, burning where we touched, and my eyes flew open in astonishment.

For the briefest of all moments, all I could see was the deep, reassuring green of something as beautiful as it was bottomless.

And then almost as quickly as it had happened, I pulled back from the kiss. My hands immediately flew to my mouth. My heart was beating so loudly, so rapidly, it seemed to fill the small amount of space between both of our bodies, heated by the dominate flush of my cheeks as mortification inched its way into every portion of my frozen, shocked state.

Edward blinked slowly. He was looking straight at me, just like he'd been the entire time. His eyes held a hint of surprise, but apart from that he seemed unbelievably calm and relaxed. Only I could pick up the channelling string of emotions that he was trying to hide; they were flitting behind his relaxed demeanour at a rate that was almost startling.

I stared up at him, humiliation at what I'd just done swimming in my eyes.

I'd just kissed him. Edward Cullen.

_How pathetically pitiful_.

Even though my body seemed frozen, my mind raced ahead, internally screaming and shouting and crying for pulling out a stupid trick like that. What was he going to do? Laugh at me? Even worse: not say anything at all? Just wait for all eternity until I spoke?

He swallowed, and it made something inside me snap.

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed in an embarrassed, hushed whisper through my fingers. "I don't—I didn't—"

"I'm ready!" called Alice from outside my door as she waltzed into my room, all hyper-smiles and sparkles, choosing impeccable timing on her account to barge in.

She was so happy, so over-the-moon with what was about to happen for her, she was unusually unobservant and didn't notice the stiffness between Edward and me.

Or how I was looking up at her in shock, my hands still limply held to my mouth, eyes wide like I couldn't believe she was there.

Or couldn't believe what had just happened in the past minute.

_I just kissed Edward Cullen._ My lips were still warm from the memory.

"So, I'm thinking I'll totally just _march_ right into his house and _demand_ he listen to me and if that means I have to wear skyscraper heals so I'm able to get in his face, then so be it," Alice gushed out in one breath. She swiped a hand through the short flicks of her hair and then threw Edward and me a killer smile. "Edward, my dearest boy, are you ready to escort me? It seems I've been ready to go my entire life."

She didn't wait for an answer. I was so thankful she was being oblivious.

Alice gazed straight at my face. Her delighted eyes seemed to sink past my shell-shocked expression like it was one of equal joy. "And Bella, are you going to come with us?" she asked happily as my hands slowly slipped from my mouth and landed together in my lap.

I looked down at my quilt for a second as my blush deepened. I could feel Edward's stare on me like it was the heat of a thousand suns. It seemed to burn the back of my neck. Suddenly all the attention in the room was centred on me and I didn't know how to handle it. Not after what had just happened.

I looked back at Alice and gave her the only answer I could.

"No," I said in a voice that sounded all wrong. "No, I—have some stuff I've got to do."

I knew then that I wasn't able to face Edward just yet. I wanted to wait, preferably forever. Tonight was the first moment while being in his presence that I'd experienced the feeling of wanting to be as far away from him as was humanely possible.

As I gave my answer, I tried to pretend that he wasn't sitting inches away from me, staring at the side of my face.

Because I knew, as well as I knew myself, that Edward was trying to catch my eye.

I didn't want to look into his eyes. Not now. I was terrified by the prospect of what I might find in them.

And that was why, fifteen minutes later, I was on my own in an empty home, my thoughts and questions the only things able to keep me company.

Feeling odd and strange, I crawled up the space of my bed and got underneath the covers, still in my clothing. And, as I lay in bed, trying to think about something distracting that wouldn't lead my thoughts to a certain bronze-haired boy, I dully heard the sound of Edward's car outside rumble to life and speed away from me into the night.

I shut my eyes tight and tried to wish away the evening.

-----

**x**


	27. 27 Worries

Awwww. All of your continued support, my dear readers, makes me want to give each and every one of you your own Edward. You deserve it! [=

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I'm sorry for the delay in the update It took longer to write this than I expected—and I blame my sucky psychology class for that because I basically got buried underneath the amount of holiday homework I was laden with.

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If you _aren't_ happy with this chapter, I'm sorry. It's not the best, but it's necessary and very important. Hopefully you will still enjoy it. The next chapter will by dynamite.

Thanks!

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

27. Worries 

I paced the empty apartment that evening. All my worries, insecurities and embarrassments seemed to fill the vacant space, flooding the room and swirling above my head. I knew there had to be some remedy, some magical solution that would turn back time and somehow cause all this mess to fall into place; I just didn't know what it was yet. It seemed completely out of reach.

I'd lain in bed for an immeasurable period of time. I'd hardly moved at all. I was too keyed-up to sleep, and anyway, my eyes had seemed stuck on a faraway fixture that wasn't quite there in reality just yet.

I'd stayed like that as long as I could take it, until it all came too much and I realised that pretending to be catatonic didn't actually make things easier, and nor did it make me forget, or think of other things.

It was exactly why I was now channelling my inner turmoil into something productive—like pacing the apartment. Or, at least for now, my room.

I just couldn't get my head around it. It was too surreal. _I had kissed Edward. _Edward_ Cullen_. _Edward had kissed _me.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

No, that wasn't right. That wasn't the truth at all—Edward hadn't kissed me back. I knew he hadn't. It wasn't like there had been enough time for him to do anything at all except look on in surprise while I attacked him; and he _did_ do that just fine.

I sighed out loud and continued on with my marching.

I was torn in two. There were two conflicting sides to me at the moment: One, I wanted to sort out in my mind what had transpired, and get back on track with the right solution to remedy the situation. But the second part was trying to push that all away, to foolishly forget it ever happened, so I could stop feeling so pathetically confused. And it was making it impossible for me to figure anything out at all!

Briefly, I wondered if I was overreacting just slightly. That maybe this wasn't a big deal at all. And for a second, I could really see things in that hopeful light—it was soothing and reassuring, bathing everything in an imagined scenario that made me internally relax.

Edward wouldn't think anything of it. Of course he wouldn't. He was Edward Cullen; he probably got kissed by dozens of girls on a weekly basis. Maybe even more, for all I knew. He was probably with Alice at Jasper's right now, laughing about the whole thing like it was a joke between friends. The next time he'd see me he'd laugh again, and I'd laugh with him. We could get over this. It was so simple.

So why didn't I believe that?

Conflicting thoughts aside, I couldn't help but have a quick ponder at to what he was up to now. Not being aware of the time, I wasn't certain if he and Alice had made it to Jasper's yet. If they hadn't, they were most likely still in the car together. Alice would be sitting in the passenger seat, the one I seemed to occupy all the time lately, most likely chattering on and on with him about silly inconsequentials. Light topics. Light, easy and open. Effortless. Because she wasn't the one to have behaved stupidly and perhaps ruined everything for good.

Or, perhaps now they _were_ at Jasper's. And Alice was already confessing her splendid and undying love for him while Jasper got down on one knee and apologised profusely about his behaviour, pledging to spend eternity with her and Edward was in the background, smiling and giving them his blessing . . .

I snapped out of it.

Giving myself a mental shake, I stopped walking, pacing, marching. I resolutely turned and headed off and into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. Now I was being absolutely ridiculous. I needed to shake it off.

The cool water seemed to calm me down somewhat, and I stared dully into the cup as if I was staring at a crystal ball, just _waiting_ for answers to magically appear.

"Stupid," I muttered to myself. I was neither calling myself the term or chastising my behaviour; it was a bit of both.

_Okay Bella_, I thought. _You need to figure this out before you go crazy_.

I looked at the facts.

It was most definitely certain that I had, in fact, kissed Edward. Brief may it be, but it still constituted a kiss, whether I liked to pretend it did or not.

Okay. Alright. I _thought_ I could deal with that.

It was _also_ most definitely certain that I had _not_ spoken to Edward about this predicament, apart from a hasty and mortified apology. He had not said a word about it either. To me, anyway. And I liked to think he would refrain from speaking about it to Alice, before we had even had a chance to discuss it together.

Because a large portion of me knew that we would end up discussing it. Eventually. If I knew anything about Edward, it was that he prized people's comfort and happiness above just about anything else in the world. And he _would_ want to talk about it, even if it was to just make sure I was over the embarrassment of it all; he would comfort.

And that was where I would have to swallow my pride and welcome the humiliation.

Girls like me didn't kiss boys like him. I knew that. Friends was one thing, but this was a whole other entity by itself. A foreign one for me. Which was perhaps why I was stressing so much about it.

_Why _are_ you stressing so much about it?_

I was afraid, I realised then. I was afraid. Completely petrified.

I could see the hazy reflection of one of my eyes in the water at the bottom of the cup. I watched as it blinked.

If I had to pinpoint the main reason why I was so deathly scared, it would be the fact that I was terrified I was going to end up losing Edward. I wasn't completely dense; I knew things like this had happened before between friends. It wasn't like this was a one-case scenario. But I also knew things could get awkward—_did_ get awkward—and I was so angry at myself for sabotaging one of the best things life had presented me with at the moment. Kissing Edward might not make him hate me, but it would definitely present awkwardness where there had once been complete comfort.

My time with Edward was always comfortable. I had done a lot of things in a short amount of time that took me out of my comfort-zone, and yet doing it with Edward made it all different somehow. Safe. Secure. _He_ made it secure.

And now I had ruined it.

Confusion and frustration welled up inside me and I could see a build up of tears in my eye as I stared at the small portion of my reflection. My gaze grew fuzzy, and I instantly stood up to chuck the water into the sink, watching it trickle down the drain before I actually did cry. Crying was a stupid and useless thing in this situation. It helped nothing.

I tugged my hoodie tighter around my body and glumly made my way back into the bedroom. Alice would be home sometime tonight, and I wasn't up for the encounter. I feared having to face her in this mood, as well as the small possibility Edward would end up accompanying her inside to drop her off fully. Both things were outcomes to avoid studiously.

I pulled my hair into a sloppy bun atop my head and changed into a pair of old, warm track pants. Everything would be better in the morning, I figured. It would at least seem clearer.

As I slipped into bed the second time, still mulling over the things I'd already covered, there was one question I did not ask myself. One important revelation lay untouched, for not even my subconscious thought to enter that ground.

The crucial question was, why _did_ I kiss Edward Cullen?

--------

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I dreamt an awful lot that night. Or at least, I seemed to remember my dreams with much more clarity than normal. Dark shapes and beings twisted in and out of my subconsciousness, bringing neither god nor evil as they swarmed and seethed. Twice that night I awoke in surprise to a dark and empty room, only to slip back into a deep sleep again before anything could fully register.

The third time I awoke, I was unsure if it was either night or day.

It took a minute, but after a moment of lying in the darkness, all remains of sleep had worn off. My eyes stared up at the ceiling as I now tried to recall what my dreams had actually meant. It was useless, because the more I tried to grasp at the small details that were ebbing away in my mind, the more gaps and lurches in my memory appeared, until all I could be sure of was that a pair of eyes had been following me everywhere.

I sighed out to the room in general and glanced at the seldom-used alarm clock by my bedside table. The digital numbers emitted a small glow, and I watched as the figures promptly changed to 5:47—_a_._m_. Apparently, it was morning.

I sighed again, because I knew that sleep was impossible for me now that I felt so wide awake. And that really sucked, because I knew I could do with some extra hours of unconsciousness to better equip me for the day ahead.

Briefly, I realised this meant that Alice had come home during the night and hadn't woke me up.

I was still in a bit of a dark mood with myself, but the amount of sleep I _had_ gotten in left me feeling a little clearer. No matter what was going on in my mind, whatever had gone down last night while I was under was massive. And right now, Alice was either smiling in her sleep or trying not frown.

I leapt out of bed.

What I was going to do next was clear. I could push out all my crazy thoughts to do with Edward and me away for a moment and focus on Alice's feelings—which were hopefully positive. I hoped, harder than I'd hoped for anything in a long time, that things were good for her now. She deserved it.

Feeling a tad out-of-place—sneaking into bedrooms was Alice's gig, not mine—I crept out of my bedroom and slowly entered hers. A momentary feeling of trepidation came over me, but as soon as I saw her small, curled figure beneath her blankets it passed and I nearly shook myself for being silly.

I took a breath, gaining control of myself, giving one more moment to hide my glum, bitter and confused mood and letting a great smile make its way onto my face.

Once it was there, I immediately found it easier to focus on my friend's needs; I could just make out a tuft of her wild, black hair in the dark and it helped to push away everything else but this one important event I _needed_ to suss out.

Without further ado, I flicked on the lights.

A move like that would've done nothing to me if I was in a respectable, deep sleep. It took a hell of a lot for my stubborn self to wake up if I was determinedly in dreamland.

This was Alice, though. And Alice was the lightest sleeper I knew.

"Uggggghhh!" her voice wailed out incoherently as she turned over on her bed so she was facing me, eyes scrunched tight. She threw her head down into the safety of her arm in a half-groggy attempt to shut out the light.

I took a second to survey the room—it was messier than normal, clothes strewn across the carpet—and then boldly treaded further into it, side-stepping a purple silk scarf that was knotted and haphazardly placed on top of a black leather handbag. I reached her bed and crouched down so I was level with her.

Yet again, if this had been me in Alice's place and I had somehow managed to be awoken moments earlier, by now I would definitely be fast asleep again.

One of Alice's eyes lazily squinted open as she surveyed me for a second over the cover of her arm.

"Get out," she muttered, and with that she shut her eye again.

I twisted my lips together, but my smile couldn't be contained—and this time I didn't have to work to put it there.

I knew just what would get her.

"Guess what?" I whispered cheerfully, as if it was to no one in particular. "I have this friend who did the bravest, most magnificent thing last night. She had a fight with the boy of her dreams, you see, and was convinced he didn't like her. But word had it that she was mistaken and she pulled herself together and actually went to his house . . ." I leant in closer to her face. ". . . And she is yet to brag about the details of the event to her own roommate."

I could see the beginnings of a smile twitch on her lips.

I continued happily. "And, I mean, this roommate is actually waiting to hear all about it, because word also has it that this boy who this girl is so fond of is the most beautiful, exquisite thing in the—"

That was all that was needed.

Alice sprung up in her bed immediately like she'd been lit on fire. Her hair was a wild, crazy mess and her eyes seemed to literally dance with excitement as they zoned in on me with a surprisingly lucid amount of coherence.

"Oh my GOD," she breathed, and I knew she was wide awake now. Still unlike me, she could snap into function-mode like a switch being flicked.

Her grin was wider than I thought possible.

"Bella!" she said happily, and her hands reached for me as she tried to drag me onto her bed so I could sit down next to her.

I laughed at her feeble attempts, moving myself to please her. One of her hands latched onto my arm like she wasn't going to let go as the other ran through her mess of cute hair. "You wouldn't believe it, Bella," she gushed. "Last night—it went _perfectly_. Everything's sorted. _Everything_. Well, nearly everything." She seemed on the verge of getting up to move, like she couldn't keep still. "I wish you'd been there. Seriously, I want to go back there and play it all again. Thank you so much. It's all thanks to you, you just . . . You just make me feel better all the time . . . I know I was upset and probably ruined your night but everything is great now!"

I laughed again. This was good. I knew it was selfish to admit this—because I really, honestly wanted to be here for Alice's sake—but a part of me was also happy to be offered such an easy distraction.

"I'm glad," I told her. "I can't believe you didn't wake me up when you got home, though! I thought you would be ready to burst."

Alice just shook her head, biting her lip. "I considered it," she admitted, "but then when I peeked my head through you looked so peaceful I didn't have the heart to wake you."

My great look of disbelief seemed to force her to continue. Sure, Alice was caring, but to the point where she thought twice over pouncing on me to get up? That was a first.

"Well, alright, there was more," she confessed. "I can't even explain it right, Bella. It was about ten when I got home—which means you actually went to sleep pretty early. But then, so did I. I thought I would've been up half the night trying to muffle squeals of delight, but instead I felt refreshed in the sense that I was ready to go to bed. I _wanted_ to go to bed. I know that doesn't make much sense . . ."

"It really doesn't," I inserted helpfully.

Alice's face twisted thoughtfully as she pulled herself into a straighter sitting position, crossing her legs. We faced each other, Alice in her graceful beauty and me in my ratty sweats.

"The only way I can describe how I was feeling is to say I felt an overwhelming amount of contentment," Alice explained. "Like, deep within me. That sounds corny, but whatever. Everything just felt right. For the first time in ages, I felt relaxed . . . Like things were going to work out, and that I had all the time in the world to enjoy the process."

I smiled warmly, tucking a stray lock of hair that had escaped the messy bun on my head behind my ear. "That sounds amazing," I told her.

She nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it does." A sweeping look of joy passed over her face and then she shook her head, as if to focus her mind on the present. "But enough on _that_," she emphasised. "That hardly matters."

"Of course it does," I argued. "But I know what you're getting at. I can't believe you haven't launched into the story yet."

She giggled. "I feel so happy!" she exclaimed. "I wish you were this happy. I don't know what we could do . . ."

I opened my mouth to say something back, but then found I had no words to say. I offered a small, shy smile instead.

Alice laughed. "Well, no offense intended, but we'll get to that later." She cleared her throat, and then without any further distractions, began to fill me in on all the finer details of last night that I had missed. She told me everything, from the way she was feeling—nervous, definitely, but still determined—to how she acted—gutsy, in my opinion, but Alice thought it was just her doing what had to be done. I asked my fair share of questions which she answered obligingly.

How was Jasper when she first saw him? Alice ended up being very firm, yet polite, when he answered the door, and his face was a mask of utter shock and surprise.

Did she end up telling him how she felt? Alice explained to me that she told him she'd been interested in him for a while, but decided not to freak him out with just _how long_ 'a while' was in her case. She also left out the extent of her fancy.

"Last night wasn't about being really dramatic and confessing undying love," she said wisely. "It was about simplifying things and sorting out a confusing mess without adding anything else onto the pile."

How did Jasper react to this news? He seemed completely taken aback and even a little shy. Alice's very words to sum it up was, "He was so, so cute."

"But did he, like, apologise?" I wondered. "I mean, you didn't come home in tears for no reason. He has a lot to answer for."

Alice sighed. "I know. He knows. He was really embarrassed, actually. And yes, he did apologise, but I told him not to worry about it. I've done my fair share of stupid stuff too. _And_ I sorted out the whole Sean business as well. I still have no clue how that got out."

The one thing I avoided firmly was any mention of Edward. I didn't ask any questions concerning him or what he was doing. If Alice noticed anything odd in that, she didn't act like it.

But, near the end of our conversation, she was the one to finally bring him up.

"Edward was really nice, Bella," she said sincerely. "I'm so glad you're friends with him. His presence being there was comforting, especially at the start when I knocked on Jasper's door. I mean, he didn't say much and kind of kept to the back of things, letting us sort it all out—he left the room at one stage—but I think the close friendship he has with Jasper made things smoother. I am _soooo_ grateful to him." She smiled widely. "I can't believe you didn't come with us, though. Did I interrupt anything important? I know you guys were hanging out originally and I sort of ruined that . . ."

I was shaking my head before she was even finished.

"No," I said resolutely. I wanted to be sure in my answer. "No, you were fine. We weren't really doing anything important." I paused, and my question came out a lot sharper than I intended. "Why?" I asked. "Did he say something?"

Alice didn't look the slightest bit suspicious. "Not at all," she said innocently. "I mean, not really. He mentioned a photo he saw of the two of us that he was wondering about, but that was it. No, I only ask because he seemed slightly distracted. Even when he was talking to me in the car."

I didn't know what to do with that piece of information, so I discarded it. "Oh" was my lame reply.

The biggest question I wanted the answer to was my last one. It was definitely the most important, and it offered a distraction so we could get off the topic of Edward.

"So," I said, laying a lot of impact into that one word. "What's going to happen now between you and Jasper? Has anything been decided?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Huh," she scoffed. "Nope. As if things are _that_ easy." She looked wistfully at the ceiling for a second and then back down to me. "But I don't really mind. What matters is that we now both know where we stand with each other. He knows I like him, and I know he . . ."

She trailed off.

"I can't say it!" she exclaimed. "It still doesn't seem to make full sense to me. But, oh, who cares? I am the happiest girl in the universe _and_"—she glanced at her heart-shaped clock on the wall—"we're going to be late for school if we don't get a move on."

I was surprised to find that we'd been talking for well over an hour. We only had thirty minutes to get ready in before we'd have to leave. Already the sky outside was light, and I hadn't noticed the gradual transition at all with the electric light on in the room.

We both returned to our separate tasks. Alice focused on beautifying herself up—not that she really needed to—and I tried to sort out the bird's nest that was my hair. In another world, where we had more time and I was a lot more confident in altering my appearance, I might have been more attentive to the way I looked, especially on a day like today. I was going to have to finally face Edward, and some extra glamour might have provided some well-needed confidence.

Instead, I found myself going in the opposite direction entirely. I hardly bothered with appearances at all. I wanted to prove that what had happened last night wasn't a big deal by any standards and the perfect way to do that, I figured, was to purposely not dress-up. If I looked plain and boring and normal, it showed I was still the same girl who I had always been.

I bumped into Alice in the kitchen when I resurfaced from the slumps of my room.

"Oh, heya," she grinned at me, passing me an apple before I could say a word. "We're going to have to take breakfast on the road, I'm afraid. Oh, wait—Edward's picking you up, isn't he?" She barely voiced it as a question, more like a statement than anything else.

I mulled that over for a second because I really wasn't all too sure. Her assumption made logical sense, considering I'd been catching a lift with him constantly for the past week . . . But then again, he hadn't told me he was picking me up last night and the things that went down that evening were a lot different from our normal routine. I hated that fact.

I also absolutely _hated_ the fact that hearing her mention his name again did something strange to my stomach.

I had the conviction that it wasn't a big deal, but I didn't know how Edward was going to behave about it all. So it was best if I wasn't reliant on him today. I was my own, independent person. I could do this.

"Actually," I corrected her, "I don't think he is. I'm taking the bus with you this morning." I gave her a smile and took a large bite out of the apple in my hand.

Alice gave me a funny look—it wasn't suspicious, just surprised.

"Oh, okay," she said as she mulled through the large bag she'd decided to use for the day, obviously trying to find something in its depths as it rested on the counter. "I just thought he would, because he always seems to . . ." She found a slip of paper which was obviously the thing she was looking for and picked it up for closer inspection. ". . . I mean, it's actually really nice. That he picks you up, I mean. I mean . . ." Alice was obviously having trouble trying to articulate her words and focus on the scrap of paper. She frowned and scrunched it in a ball before tossing it over her shoulder. She gave me a perky smile, shaking her head clear as she snapped her bag shut. "Ugh. What I'm trying to say is, is Edward doing something this morning?"

I stopped chewing my mouthful and swallowed it down. I really didn't want to be talking about him now, because I didn't know if I could keep my face straight.

"Um . . . I have no idea," I told her truthfully, and then I shrugged, like that was the end of that.

She didn't press any further. Alice grabbed her bag from the table and threw it over her shoulder. "Well, are you ready to go?"

"Sure," I agreed, quickly grabbing a book on the way out. Even as I picked it up from the table I sensed I wouldn't be reading any of it. My mind was far too skittish to focus on anything conventional like that at all.

I took a deep breath and readied myself for the big day ahead.

Voices swam around me, flitting in and out of my consciousness. It was all a mindless, droning babble that seemed to fill up the entire capacity of the room. Most of the time I wasn't very aware of any of it, but there were other times, times like right now, where I couldn't seem to help but overhear. I supposed it wasn't a bad thing—it wasn't like I wasn't _supposed_ to hear it. I just didn't particularly want to.

My thumb picked away insistently against the edge of the table as parts of the conversation going on around me reached my ears.

"And you would never guess what happened. I mean, you saw what Tanya was wearing today, right?" a gossipy voice sniped matter-of-factly. Jessica Stanley, always up with the gossip. "I mean, I swear I saw that skirt in stock like two seasons ago, but whatever. The point is, I don't get how she manages to get out of being caught up on the dress-code. Sure, this school isn't very strict, but can you say _indecent_?"

There were a few dull murmurs of reply, which provided her with the resources to continue. My chipping intensified, almost hurting my nail.

"There is just no way in hell I could get away with something like that, or anyone else for that matter. There is just something about _those_ girls. The same thing happened with Irina last week. Her top was so low-cut it barely existed at the front, and no teacher called _her_ up on it. This is Forks—it's absolutely freezing! If that wasn't a dress-code violation, it surely was a brink in standard health regulations."

It was lunch time. The cafeteria seemed even duller to me than it normally did. Alice was by my side, but she was oddly quiet right now; I had a sneaking suspicion it was because she was too busy making cute faces at Jasper from across the room to focus on something mundane like talking. He was staring at her too, or at least he had been the last time I'd bothered to look.

It was our regular troupe gracing us with their presence at our table today. Our new table, the one near the back. The one I'd picked out with _him_ ages ago. Jessica, Mike, Angela, Ben and even Tyler were there with Alice and me. I had a feeling that if it hadn't been for Mike giving me a cheery grin at the start of lunch and taking a seat next to me, Jessica wouldn't have bothered coming either. Nor would've Tyler, but since we were all here . . .

No. We weren't _all_ here. Because someone was missing. The one person I actually wanted to see was absent, completely _not_ here, in fact. Edward was gone. He wasn't here. He hadn't even shown up for school yet as far as I knew, and his absence was beating down on me heavily.

I wasn't taking it so well. I needed to know why now, all of a sudden, for the first time in ages, he had decided to skip school and not come. I would _not_ believe it was simply because of what had happened last night. That was ridiculous. Edward always reacted to things differently than me, always seemed to have a _better_ reaction. If someone wasn't going to show up today at school for that reason, it would've been me in all my cowardly glory.

But I _was_ here. And he wasn't.

His absence seemed to flaunt itself continually all day. When I first showed up at school with Alice, I thought he was just late. Or busy. Or something plausible, not that he wasn't going to show up at all. That didn't even cross my mind. Still, I had to accept he wasn't there when the first bell rang, but half of me was still waiting for him to show up all day at some unpredictable time.

And why was it today of all days that everybody seemed to be saying something about him? And why to me? Sure, Edward and I where always hanging out at school . . . But still. It was aggravating, completely and utterly infuriating. If they weren't talking about him directly, more often than not somebody brought up something, a topic or subject, which seemed to somehow include him.

Or maybe it was just that my brain seemed to find Edward in just about everything. No matter where I went, thoughts of that boy plagued my mind. It was sort of ironic, because I had gone from dreading having to face him, to wishing furiously that I actually could. I would do just about anything to escape the way I was feeling, and I knew the only way to do that was to see him.

Jessica was still rambling on.

". . . nothing like her. Kate's probably the most decent one of the lot, but I have no idea what happened to her style. Sure, _everyone_ thinks she's gorgeous, but I swear she has split ends now. All the beauty in the world couldn't take the spotlight away from the fact she seems a little rough on the edges, like she's missing a manicure or something silly like that."

My fingernail broke as my thumb dug into the table particularly harshly.

It was the first thing anybody had said today that actually sparked an internal reaction inside me, one apart from annoyance. Because Jessica's comment reminded me of Kate's secret pregnancy, the one I shouldn't really know about. I still felt bad about that. If it had been me in her situation—even though it was technically impossible so far—I wouldn't know _what_ I would do.

I glanced up from the tabletop and stared across the room, over to the most popular table in this place. Tanya was there, naturally, her stunning beauty seeming to be the main thing the majority of boys' eyes were drawn to, and I could immediately see what Jessica was talking about when it came to her hot pink skirt. Most of the other regulars that graced that table were present as well, but something was wrong with the picture they created. The fact Edward didn't belong there anymore certainly caused a slight shift in appearance, but it was more noticeable now for some reason.

My eyes sought out Kate, who was sitting there quietly, dressed cutely and looking beautiful—and yet the shadows under her eyes that even her makeup couldn't hide seemed to make her suddenly look years older. Jasper was next to her (his eyes were _still_ on Alice's), and they both sat away from the table on chairs.

It was then that I realised what was wrong with what I was seeing.

Even though all those people were clustered together, they seemed to be separated from each other at the same time. Distant. Tanya was there surrounded by boys, but Irina was sitting as far away from her as was possible with Simon, not even glancing in her direction. There were obvious issues there; perhaps they still hadn't sorted out their feud that Alice basically ignited last week when she told them they both went out with the same guy at the same time. And that was the strangest thing, because Irina was like Tanya's shadow. And then there was the absence of James; word getting around said he'd been suspended for the debacle he and Jasper had displayed. So Laurent was looking a little lost. It was like massive lines had been carved in the floor where they all sat that made them have to stick to the people crowding them and not interact with one another.

Things were obviously strained.

With a parting glance at Kate, I turned back to my own table. I was honestly not trying to think about it, but seeing her reminded me of my own mother and the state she was. I still hadn't had a proper talk with her on that one, because part of me really didn't even want to go there.

Lunch dragged on, but eventually the bell rang and I was able to stand up and walk away from my friends. Before I could take many steps, however, Alice was at my side, giving me one of her looks.

I sighed. "What?" I asked, biting the bullet.

Her expression turned reproving. "Don't 'what' me. You know what. Tell me what's wrong."

Other people pushed past us as they made their way to the lockers, and I tried not to get in anyone's way.

"Nothing's wrong," I told her. "I'm fine."

Her face grew even darker and cynical. "Whatever. You haven't said a word all lunch. You think I can't tell when you're in a slump? Is it because Edward isn't here?"

There it was again, his name being mentioned. Her words irked me for more than one reason. Honestly, did she think I was incompetent without his aid?

"Of course not," I snapped at her heatedly. "And I'm surprised you've noticed anything but Jasper's face. Haven't you just spent the last hour salivating over him and all his godliness?" My tone wasn't very nice, and I sounded like a conceited bitch.

Alice pulled on my arm, forcing me to stop walking. She faced me, her expression cold, and it didn't make a scrap of difference that she was a head smaller than me. She could've been ten feet tall.

"Bella," she said, and there was steeliness to her tone that wasn't often there. "What you just said wasn't very nice. I'm not going to bother taking offense from it though, because it's just another indication that you are obviously _not_ alright, because otherwise you would never dream of sounding that way. I know you. You are a lovely person so I'm going to forget anything happened.

"_But_," she continued, "I'm going to tell you now that pushing me away isn't going to help anything. You have no right to lash out at me when all I'm trying to do is be your friend. So cheer up, won't you? I guess it's none of my business if you don't want to talk about what's getting you down, but the least you can do is be gracious about it."

And there was the strong, practical girl coming out when she was needed from beneath her giggly and girly façade. Alice was made of steel beneath her harmless exterior.

I sighed, knowing she was right.

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry," I grumbled. "I just want to get this day over and done with. Maybe I'm just off."

She smiled then, and nodded. "Okay. Fair enough. I guess I'll see you after school then?" We had no other classes together today.

"Sure," I said, and made an effort to smile back.

She gave my arm a quick pat, and then we parted ways to get to class.

Biology was pure torture. My one class with Edward was horrible because he wasn't there, and it kept making me think up reasons why he wasn't at school today, all of them ones where he was trying to avoid me. Lauren was in this class too, and seeing her pretty blonde head hurt when I remembered what she'd done to me.

I met the new teacher, though, and Angela was right about her being tough. She'd given the entire class a lift in spirits simply by being somewhat useful. Sure, there were a few dropouts that probably preferred goofing off than actually doing work, but most of us just really wanted to pass our exams. We had some project coming up again, but it was nothing like our last hopeless one. The thing I'd missed last lesson was that we'd all been assigned new seats. Mine was nearer the back of the classroom this time, and nobody was next to me. Mike gave me a glum look from across the room.

With the last half hour left of school, I made up a conviction. There was no way I was going to spend the rest of the day filled with nerves because Edward had decided to stupidly miss school. If he thought he could avoid me because he reckoned I was going to be a mess, he was certainly wrong. It was why I made the decision that straight after school, I was going to his house myself.

I was going to face him. He would see that I was perfectly relaxed about the whole silly kiss thing, and that he had nothing to worry about. We'd laugh and sort it out, and then life could move forward.

I just needed to let Alice know.

The afternoon sun that sometimes made an appearance in the sky was missing now as I stood unsurely in the middle of the huge driveway; it was taking cover behind one of the many ominous clouds suspended in the sky, almost as if it were trying to hide. As I stared up the concrete drive to face the huge house before me, I almost envied it. I felt like hiding, too.

Nervously, I tucked the loose strands of my hair behind my ears for the tenth time as I stood there stupidly, trying to find the courage that had momentarily flown out of me so I could proceed with what needed to be done. I was still resolute with my resolve; there was no way I was going to return home without some sort of expected outcome. I had paid some lucky cab driver a fortune so I could get here, and it wasn't going to be for nothing.

The house continued to mock me with its vastness.

It was odd, because when I'd imagined myself earlier standing in front of Edward's lovely abode, it was with fierce determination and a confident manner. I seemed to be missing the better parts of both and was instead completely and utterly terrified to the point of nausea.

This silly white house was getting the better of me.

If Edward lived in apartment like me, or a modest-sized house, I would like to think I wouldn't be hyperventilating like I was. Heck, it would be sweet if he staked out in a caravan park and lived amongst families on holiday. That would at least provide me with some sense of belonging. I could picture myself there. Staring at his huge mansion of a house just made me feel less and less adequate, almost like the house symbolised Edward himself and the comparison between the two of us—and, in a twisted sort of way, it kind of did.

I was about to go in there and face him, and all I could think of was how _stupid_ I was to get myself into this mess in the first place. If I just had contained myself, I wouldn't be in this position. I wouldn't feel like the pit of my stomach was falling.

I particularly bitter gust of wind swept through the area, twisting the trees that shaded the yard. I shivered from the cold.

And that was when I decided I was just going to do it.

Steeling myself up, I took a deep breath and continued to walk up the remainder of the driveway. I refused to think of anything but Edward's face. A strange sort of feeling was coursing through my body, one I couldn't identify. If this was what it felt like to feel empowered, then I couldn't decide if I enjoyed it or not. Not yet, anyway.

The house was just getting larger the closer I was to it, but I refused to let that bother me again. That wind had made me realise how dim it was to stand there in the middle of his property, stalling for time when the sooner I talked to Edward, the quicker things would be sorted out. I mean, could you imagine if Edward actually had stepped outside for whatever reason and had found me huddled in the middle of his drive? Not good.

And besides, there was nothing scary about the house. I'd already been there twice. There was no need to feel intimidated when it was where Edward was, where he belonged.

The door was right in front of my face before I was quite expecting it.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, forced what I hoped was a relaxed, bright smile on my face, and ran the doorbell.

I waited.

Precisely thirty-two seconds past as I stood on his porch, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I was just about to ring again when I saw movement from behind the almost-opaque glass.

I tucked my hair behind my ear again.

There was a muffled sound, and then the door was opening, and just like I had envisioned, Edward's face and looming form was standing there before me, just a few spaces away.

My smile grew, just like I'd planned.

"Hey," I said, hoping I sounded friendly and confident. It would do no good to focus on the fact that as soon as I saw him, a fluttery feeling erupted inside me. "I missed you today, you didn't tell me you'd be away." I looked into his eyes, looked into the exceptional green, and suddenly everything inside me flooded out at once.

"Did you know Jessica sat at our table today?" I asked, my nervousness suddenly turning my voice even brighter and causing me to continue talking. "She was talking the whole time, on and on, and I haven't decided yet whether I missed it or not. You see, normally Alice would be right in there with conversation, but she was so quiet today, all because of Jasper and the fact he was sitting away from her. Not that she was unhappy or anything," I laughed, wondering if it sounded as fake as I thought. "No, she was _definitely_ happy, and that was because of Jasper as well. Because he was there, and because of what went down yesterday." I paused, but it was very brief. I forced myself to look up at him as I spoke. "Alice told me all about last night. Have I thanked you for that yet? You made it all possible."

Now that my tirade had finally petered out to an abrupt end, I realised for the first time that Edward hadn't actually said a word to me yet, not even a hello. I briefly wondered if that was simply because I hadn't given him the chance, or if it was something more than that.

He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair. Then he gave me a small smile. The appearance of that slight upturning of his lips made me aware that before now, he hadn't been smiling at all.

"Hi, Bella," he said, and for some reason, that made sudden humiliation stamp its way all over me. I shifted awkwardly, wishing I had something to do with my hands.

"I wasn't expecting you to come here," he continued after a prolonged moment.

I stared at his face, my embarrassment seeming to escalate. What the heck was he implying? That I shouldn't have come? I was starting to feel the edges of my smile slowly disappear, and I fought to stay in control.

"Well, you know," I said, tying my hand at sounding flippant. "I figured it was my turn to appear up uninvited."

His face didn't change; only the smallest crease in his brow gave him away.

I stood there stupidly, staring up at his face, trying desperately to read it. What was my next move? Did I try and make a joke of the awkwardness of the moment, or did I take this as my cue to leave?

"Well, you know, I'll just—"

"Edward," a voice said from inside the house, and I almost jumped in surprise when another figure came up to the door. It was a man, whose eyes gazed over me as I stared, my mouth most likely hanging open.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. I wasn't prepared for this; I hadn't ever expected Edward to have company. I didn't know what to do.

"Uh—hi," I managed to get out feebly.

The man offered me an easy smile, and it was one filled with genuine kindness. He had blue eyes and blond hair, and was scarily good-looking for a middle-aged man. I suspected he may have been younger than Charlie because of the way he looked, and yet there was something timely about him; perhaps it was the wisdom that seemed to be carved into the contours of his face. I knew I was looking at intelligence. It was impossible to miss.

"Bella," Edward said, and he seemed to have relaxed a bit more. "This is Carlisle, my father. I don't know if you've met him before."

Those words took a moment to sink in, and when it hit me that I was staring at Edward's father—adoptive, perhaps, but still technically his dad—I was certain things couldn't get any stranger. There went all my strategising. I had not factored in anything like this at all, so all the plans that simply involved me laughing everything off with Edward went up in smoke, with a force and speed that was startling.

"Uh—Nice to meet you?"

Carlisle smiled at me again and offered me his hand. I reached out to shake it, feeling almost sacrilegious for some idiotic reason.

"It's very nice to meet you too," he told me, and his words seemed genuine. "I'm sorry if I interrupted anything. Apart from being slightly curious as to who was at the door, I do actually have an ulterior motive to sticking my nose in." He glanced at Edward and directed his statement at him. "Esme wants to ask you something."

Oh, for the love of God, both his parents where here??? Could my timing be any worse?

"Right," Edward said, and I hated seeing him like this. Only now was I taking in the rumpled look of him that went beyond natural scruffiness. Something was up, and I hoped strongly that it wasn't because of what I'd done the night before.

He looked at me, his eyes seeming to survey me as Carlisle waited patiently. I felt like an animal in zoo, or like I spoke some foreign language both of them didn't understand.

"Do you mind if she comes in?" Edward asked his father, surprising me. Why did he need to ask permission for something like that in his own home?

Carlisle's words echoed my thoughts.

"Son," he said, "you hardly need to ask my permission."

Edward nodded, and then held the door aside for me. I paused, waiting, and then, deciding that I was indeed being invited to step inside, did just that.

I had no idea where Esme was apparently hiding out, but it certainly wasn't in here.

"I'll just be a moment," Edward said to Carlisle as he shut the door behind me, closing off the avenue the perpetual wind had been taking.

I shivered, but this time is was from the warmth.

Carlisle nodded, and, with one last parting smile to me, retreated back into the depths of the house.

I stared at Edward as he stared at me, both of us standing a metre apart and just looking at the other now that we were alone. It was only now, now that I was close to him again, that I recalled the moment that had happened between us last night. And it was only now that I wondered if he was thinking about it, too. I couldn't believe how close his face had been to mine. It seemed surreal.

Edward finally broke the connection of our locked gazes and nodded to the huge staircase. "Do you want to go to my room?" he asked, and I nodded, not knowing what other reply to give. I felt completely helpless, like I was captive.

Edward gave me one more long look, and then turned, beckoning for me to follow.

He began the ascent of the stairs, and I trailed along behind him, nervous and anxious and expectant, knowing we were finally going to get a chance to sort this out. We were finally going to talk about it.

We reached the top of the landing, and Edward held aside his bedroom door for me, waiting for me to enter.

I felt like he was offering me something, right then. I had a choice. I could walk away from that door and turn my back on whatever Edward and I had and just forget about it. Forget about it all. He would forget about it, too.

Or, I could choose to walk inside his bedroom and effectively decide to pick the harder option; the one where we were going to talk it all out.

I never really had been that good at making decisions.

I took a deep breath, and with that, calmly stepped inside his room.

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	28. Grievance

28. Grievance 

Edward's bedroom was just like it had been the one time I had been there before. I liked it, loved it, and I was pretty sure that was more to do with the fact that it was Edward's space than my fondness of any of the material stuff inside it. Sure, the technology and décor was outstanding, but the most prominent thing that stood out was the _feel_ of it. Anyone who knew Edward could tell his name was written all over the room.

I walked inside onto the soft carpet and heard him move in after me. He shut the door lightly behind him, and I turned around so I could see him. He was facing me, his back leaning against the door, his eyes and expression calm. The dark colour of his shirt complimented the colour of his hair, making the unusual bronze hue startling and even more beautiful than normal. I opened my mouth, wanting to speak, but I found my throat was completely dry.

He took a deep breath, and then let it out. "Hey, Bella," he said, greeting me again. We were obviously starting over from the very start.

"Hey," I said, feeling stupid. I watched, my gaze following him, as he strode across the room slowly and sat down on his desk chair that looked like it hadn't been occupied for a long time. The way he lowered his body into the seat made my heart ache from jealousy at his grace.

His green eyes continued to watch me from across the room. I still hadn't moved.

"So your father seems pretty nice," I blurted out, trying to fill in the massive gap of silence. I took a few steps forward so I was closer to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't know your parents would be down," I apologised. "I'm starting to think I came at a bad time." I shook my head awkwardly at my own stupidity and laughed nervously.

Edward shook his head, and I saw shadows underneath his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, resulting in an even more dishevelled look, his face now looking like he was dealing with a heck of a lot of stuff. "You're fine, Bella. I'm sorry if I'm coming off so weird, I've got to tell you—"

But I interrupted him. I had a feeling he was finally about to bring up _that_, what happened last night, and there was no way I was going to allow it. _I_ was going to be the one who broached that subject, not the other way around. _I_ was finally taking the control.

"No, stop," I told him, holding my hand up. "_I'm_ the one who's sorry. About last night, I mean," I clarified, seeing his confused expression. Edward probably thought I was going to be too mortified to bring it up on my own and would need his help, but I was definitely proving him wrong.

He looked like he was going to try and speak again, so I hurried to continue.

"It was just—well, I don't really know. It sort of just _happened_, and I swear I didn't mean to do it, or actually meant anything by it . . . It was really embarrassing, and I really hope we can just forget it ever happened. You know, just agree it was stupid and didn't mean anything and just move on?"

My voice was getting higher the more I continued to speak, and I worried that if I said anything else, it would become ultrasonic. So I finished off there, with a sort of pleading tone of voice.

Edward's face was impossible to read, and I'd become an expert in the matter. Aside from the small tightening in his lips, I couldn't distinguish anything. Was he glad? Relieved? Shocked?

I cleared my throat, hoping it would get him to finally answer me. I shifted closer to his bed, considering the possibility of sitting down.

Edward finally spoke, and it was with a peaceful, controlled voice.

"You're embarrassed?" he eventually said, and I was exulted to at least detect some form of surprise in his tone, mixed along with the casual cool the exuded from him.

Well, that certainly wasn't the response I had predicted.

"Well, yeah," I said truthfully, scrunching up my face as I took him in. "Why wouldn't I be?" I asked rhetorically. "I guess I can understand if you aren't, you weren't the one to throw yourself at me and all and I suppose even if you had you would still be relaxed about the whole thing. But come on, you know me . . . That was humiliating. Please, _please_ just agree to not read anything into it. I don't want to end up not being friends with you just because it gets awkward. I swear I'm not hung up on you or anything."

As I spoke, I was sure the only thing I was doing was cleaning matters up and making things clearer. You could never have guessed that from Edward's face. He seemed to be getting more and more confused. A dark shadow was spreading across his features.

I sighed, and I felt slightly panicked. What if this really was unfixable?

Before more crazy explanations could spill from my mouth, there was a sudden, load commotion downstairs, one that made me flinch in surprise. I swivelled around to stare at the closed door, completely caught off guard. A muffled yell sounded out, and even though I couldn't actually hear the words, I hazarded a guess that it was some form of an expletive.

I turned back to Edward, raising my eyebrows at him. "Really bad timing?" I guessed again.

Edward shook his head, covering half face with one of his hands as he leant his elbow on the corner of the desk. He rubbed his eye, suddenly looking a thousand years old.

"It's just Emmett," he explained, sounding tired.

"Emmett?" I repeated, that piece of information shocking me even more. "I didn't know he was here as well." What, had I picked the one time the whole entire family had convened for a cheery visit? Not good.

"He's not," Edward said. "I mean, he is now, but he wasn't before. I'd wager he just arrived back."

"Arrived back?" I echoed. It seemed I was missing some bit of information. It also seemed I was stuck in a habit of repeating him.

Edward sighed again. "I was trying to tell you, Bella. I missed school today because I was at the hospital at three in the morning today. Emmett's been away for a few days, so he has no idea what's gone on. Until now. I'm guessing he's just been told . . ."

I flinched again, but there was no disruptive noise to cause it.

"Wait, what?" I said, my mind whirling as I tried to make sense of his words. "What do you mean he's just been told? Told what? And what the hell where you doing at the hospital?" My hands were crossed protectively over my chest as I frowned, suddenly scared and concerned, forgetting that I was still standing in the middle of his room. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

Edward shook his head. "Calm down. It's nothing to get worried about, I'm completely fine. I wasn't admitted to the hospital. I was the visitor, not the patient."

"The . . ." My frown intensified, my confusion growing while I felt some part of me sigh in relief that he was not physically ill or hurt. I made my way across his room and sank down gratefully onto the edge of his comfortable bed, needing to be off my feet as I talked because my legs suddenly felt like they couldn't support me weight. "Wait. Can you just explain this to me? I have a feeling I'm not understanding something."

Edward's eyes gazed up at the ceiling for a moment, and then landed back down onto me. I watched his lips form the words as he told me what was wrong.

"Bella, Carlisle's father . . . My grandfather . . . Well, he had a heart attack last night—or, I guess more correctly it was this _morning_. My parents are here today because we've just gotten back home about four hours ago. He—well, he didn't end up making it, and Carlisle and Esme both are pretty torn up about it, they—"

Oh yeah. Definitely grateful I was off my feet. My hands flew to my mouth as I tried to muffle the gasp that left my mouth. I couldn't believe what he was telling me. His grandfather couldn't be dead, couldn't have just died, because that meant I was the shittiest friend in the entire planet. While Edward was having to deal with his parents' and his own grief, I had been caught up in all my little worries that revolved around myself, obsessing over something entirely insignificant in comparison.

And I hadn't even shut up for long enough to let him actually explain what had gone on. No, instead, I had verbally bombarded him all my pathetic attempts to solve the wrong problem—_my_ problem, not his.

"He died?" I checked, unable to believe it.

Edward nodded, looking troubled. "Yeah. Well, he was fairly old, something was bound to happen soon . . . Don't get me wrong, I'm upset, but I didn't know him as well as everyone else did. Carlisle's just lost his father, you can imagine how he's feeling, but even Esme is grieving, because she's always liked him. I can't even explain to you how hard my grandmother is taking it, she's downstairs but—"

"Shit," I swore out loud.

Edward looked up at me in surprise, and I couldn't believe that a small, amused smile was curving up his mouth.

He shook his head. "Jesus, that's the second time you've sworn at me now. I must be a bad influence."

"Oh, shut up!" I exclaimed, finding it insane that he was joking at a time like this. There were probably more people in his house than I'd assumed, all going without Edward because I'd barged my way in on a family crisis. Even so, a reluctant smile showed on my lips briefly at his teasing.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," I told him sincerely. "I had no idea something like this had happened. I wouldn't have come if I'd known."

Edward waved away my worry. "How where you supposed to know? I'm sorry I didn't call you. There didn't seem to be a right time to."

I tried not to gape at him, ignoring the sudden flutter his words gave me because this was morbid news and feeling like that now was ridiculous. But I couldn't help the happiness it gave me that Edward had thought of calling me. Me, not anyone else. It hadn't even crossed my mind.

I sighed, deflated and suddenly exhausted. Not even thinking about my actions, I lay down on his bed, turning on my side so I could still look at Edward. At another time, my actions would've shocked me. Not now, though.

"I'm still sorry though," I expressed glumly. "I was so stupid just showing up like this without even asking you what was wrong. I could see something wasn't right, but I was so desperate to sort out what happened last night I didn't stop to actually think. You must think I'm awful."

"No, you're not awful," Edward said quietly.

A heavy sort of silence seemed to hang in the air between us. I just stared at him, trying to figure out where to go now, what came next, what I was supposed to say. Every feeble plan I had before turning up here meant very little now. None of them covered a situation like this.

"Did you mean it?" Edward asked suddenly, breaking the silence. His voice was gentle, becoming, the look of his grief more prominent.

"Meant what?" I asked softly.

"When you said it didn't mean anything to you last night. Did you mean it?"

His question caught me off guard. I was vulnerable, tired, mentally and emotionally spent. I stared into the dark green depths of his eyes and couldn't even fathom not giving him an honest response. Because I was always honest with Edward, even when I couldn't seem to be honest with myself.

And looking at him? Looking at him right now, I realised I already knew the answer to his question. There really only was one answer, an answer that I'd buried deep within myself.

"No," I whispered, my voice breaking on the word. I understood now that that was the truth. "No, I didn't mean any of it."

Edward's eyes were burning, burning into mine, seeing into the very depths of me, seeing things that I probably wanted to keep hidden from him. He didn't comment on any of it, just kept looking, looking deep into my soul as I stared right on back. Finally, eventually, after it seemed he'd seen everything he possibly could, he responded.

"Good," he whispered back, and he offered me one of the smallest, sweetest smiles I'd ever seen.

* * *

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I still for the life of me could not fathom why I'd picked this time to intrude upon something so delicate and sad.

I also couldn't figure out what I was still _doing_ here.

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that I kept getting caught up in the heavy gazes Edward kept sending me. Whenever I looked up, his eyes seemed to be on me, even from across the room. And, sure, I was used to having him look at me, but not like this.

Never like this.

But oh God, I felt bad. I was so out-of-place here, amongst a group of beautiful people who all were sharing their grief with one another over losing somebody each and every one of them loved. That was enough to cover and mask the secret and guilty joy I felt whenever I _did_ catch Edward looking at me—how inappropriate was it to feel that way when somebody in their family had just _died_?

I was so horrible.

I looked up from my lap and instantly locked eyes with a serious-looking Edward, who still managed to give me a small, surreptitious smile with the corners of his lips and his eyes. Oh, God, his eyes.

I was such a goner.

Edward seemed to finally sense my ever-growing discomfort, and excused himself from the conversation he'd been having with his uncle. Before you ask, yes, one of his uncles was here as well. At least I was finally getting to meet some of his family.

Edward slid smoothly into the loveseat next to me, concern written all over his face. "You alright?" he wondered, his brow furrowing.

Now was probably not the right time or place to roll my eyes. I opted for a quizzical look instead. "You're just lost your grandfather, and your entire family is trying to deal with the shock of it all, and you're asking _me_ that?" I whispered to him, not wanting anyone else to overhear me. I was trying to draw as little attention to myself as possible. I knew I didn't quite belong here.

He twisted his mouth thoughtfully. "Just because other people are upset doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to feel uncaring towards you," he replied back in a hushed tone. "Even when _I'm_ upset, I'm always going to worry if you're alright."

Sigh. His words, as thrilling as they were, just made me feel more like crap. Thinking back to the moment in his bedroom—well, nothing had actually _happened_. I supposed that meant that nothing had really been sorted yet, but we did seem to have a bit of a better understanding of the other person now. This moment wasn't really the right time to go over all _that_, anyway.

"I am fine," I assured him. "I just . . . I don't know. You really don't think I should leave? I feel like I'm intruding."

Not that anybody here had made me feel that way or given me that impression. No, even at times of great sadness, the Cullen family were apparently highly accepting of just about anyone. When Edward and I had walked into the living room, I had taken in the view before me.

Carlisle was standing in the corner, listening intently to the quiet words another man was saying to him. He was somebody I didn't recognise at all, but I'd found out that it was Edward's uncle—Carlisle's brother—Anthony. He lived pretty far away, out of state, but he'd been visiting which was why he was so close by. He was handsome, with a round, kind face and hair slightly darker than Carlisle's.

An elderly lady was sitting in what looked like the most comfortable armchair there, her face filled with lines and creases that somehow enhanced the kind quality of her face—only she wasn't smiling. Her pale grey eyes were focused on a place that wasn't there, staring into nothing. It didn't take a genius to figure out this was Carlisle's mother. Her features told you exactly what you needed to know; she'd just lost the love of her life.

And then there was Emmett, his tall and prominent presence impossible to miss, his arms crossed over his chest angrily. It seemed that he was channelling his grief into anger, and there was a woman next to him who was obviously trying to reassure him as she struggled to come to terms with what she was saying, too.

I immediately wanted to balk and walk right back out of the room. It was one of the most solemn scenes I'd ever witnessed. I hadn't had much practise with death. The one person I'd known in my life to have passed away was an old man on my street. I didn't know how to act, or what was appropriate to say.

But then my eyes had caught Carlisle's. And he'd smiled at me, a sad, knowing smile, and suddenly I felt accepted. Still awkward, definitely, but slightly more at ease. This man had just lost his father and he had greeted me at the door like a friendly, polite gentleman before I'd even heard the news.

"Edward," I voice had spoken up, and I watched the woman who was beside Emmett walk over to the two of us. She briefly touched Edward's arm in a gentle, affectionate gesture, and gave me a warm, sincere smile.

She was beautiful. Don't get me wrong—every person here seemed to be freakishly perfect-looking. But this woman . . . She was absolutely breathtaking. Her hair was caramel toned and waved gently and neatly down her back, her eyes warm, her lovely, full lips pink and smiling.

I gaped like an idiot.

"You must be Bella," she had said warmly, her voice kind, but her eyes were still sad. "I know it's embarrassing for the both of you when I say such a cliché line, but I've heard so much about you. I feel like I've already gotten to know you."

And that was how I met Edward's adoptive mother. And that was how I'd eventually wound my way into one of the many plush seats, joining the small group of relatives.

And that was how I was now here, with Edward, talking to him some more.

"Of course you're not intruding," he chuckled quietly, answering my question from before. "Don't be silly. You should only leave if you want to. Don't feel obliged to stay."

I shook my head. "No, I don't feel obliged to stay. I want to be here. I just feel . . . Sort of useless, actually," I confessed, looking at him helplessly.

He put his arm around me, and I tried to stop my heart from spluttering unevenly as he did so. Everything he was doing was reminding me of the moment in his bedroom, reminding me of the way he'd whispered the small, simple and vital word '_Yes'_.

I tried to stay calm, shaking away those thoughts and commanding myself to focus. This was ridiculous. Edward wasn't hyperventilating like some freak.

"You're not useless," he said very, very quietly. "Everybody here feels the same way, though. Nobody can really make anything that much better—all we can do is try. How do you think I feel? At least Emmett's visibly pissed. I'm yet to show much emotion at all. I'm every bit as out-of-place here as you."

I sighed, showing that I'd heard him. This really was such an awful moment.

"I am sorry though," he whispered. "For all this getting in the way. I know it's inconvenient timing." His hand around my shoulder suddenly seemed burning hot. "You really don't have to stay here. You wouldn't offend anyone. I can take you home, if you wish."

Gah. His voice was lowered so we didn't interrupt anyone else with our conversation, and the way he was whispering in my ear was driving me insane. How had I actually been with him like this before and _not_ have been as aware as I was now? It seemed inconceivable.

"I don't want to leave," I told him truthfully.

I also didn't really want to leave him. Not know, not ever. Especially since I wanted to help somehow. I just didn't know what to do.

Just then Esme rose from beside Edward's grandmother, and announced quietly, "Would anyone like something to drink? I'm going to boil the kettle."

I didn't really think about it. I lifted my hand so I could removed Edward's arm from around me—no one found it weird he was half-embracing me, not at a time like this—and squeezed his hand so he wouldn't be offended. I stood up from the couch.

"Can I help you?" I asked unsurely, hoping Esme wouldn't object to my assistance.

She seemed a little bit surprised, but her smile my way was genuine. "Not at all," she said. "Thank you."

I smiled gratefully and followed her hurriedly from the room, sending Edward a reassured glance over my shoulder before slipping out.

"How are you, Bella?" Esme asked me as we entered the kitchen. I had to admit, the kitchen looked like it was rarely used. I suspected neither of the boys practised many culinary skills on a frequent basis.

"I'm fine," I said firmly, wishing everyone would stop trying to be so nice if it meant I wouldn't get asked that question so often. "How are you?"

That was clearly the more important question. Esme was already filling up the electric kettle at the sink as she replied; she obviously knew her way around the kitchen well.

"Oh, you know," she said, giving me a grim smile. "I'm sure you can imagine. It's a shame you never met Edward's grandfather. He was a kind man," she mused, looking sad. "He would have liked you very much."

"Really?" I said, sounding surprised. The way Esme conveyed the last part was in a way that made me feel like she really meant what she was saying—it wasn't just something she said for the hell of it.

"Yes, dear," she smiled at me. "You're a very intelligent young lady. He would've been quite taken with you." The noises from the kettle gradually began to increase in volume as the water inside heated up. "Do you mind passing me some cups?"

I hesitated for a second, and then my body kicked into action. I already knew where the mugs were kept; that was just luck. It certainly didn't mean I knew the way around the kitchen just yet, or the rest of this huge home, for that matter.

I realised that Esme was preparing hot cups of tea a few moments later. I smiled widely.

"Do you drink tea?" Esme asked, apparently noting the expression on my face as she poured the steaming water into one of the mugs.

"Definitely," I told her. "My roommate, who's also my best friend, is crazy about the stuff. She got me into it." I chewed my lip, surprised I was offering such free information. I wasn't a snob—I hoped. No, I was just normally too shy to say much. This didn't seem to be the case with Esme. It must be a trait in the family; or maybe I was just destined to feel comfortable around the Cullens.

"It's unusual for teenagers, I must admit," she said conversationally.

"Mmmm," I agreed. "But I wouldn't say Alice is your typical teenager. She just goes on about the positive qualities tea has. If I ever look even the slightest bit under the weather, she gives me some."

"I wouldn't say you're the typical teenager either, I think," Esme observed. "I'm very glad Edward knows you. You seem to be a great influence."

"I don't know about that," I confessed. "It seems more the other way around. Edward makes me a lot braver."

She gave me a warm smile, her caramel hair spilling out onto her shoulder as she turned to face me. "Well that's good. But you know, Bella, I think Edward is under the belief that I'm not aware of a lot when it comes to him, because he now lives with his brother." She shook her head. "But I'm not daft. Edward's a very honest and _good_ young man—I'm always very proud of him. But I do know he can get into a bit of trouble sometimes, particularly at school. Since he's met you he seems to have settled down a bit." She leaned against the counter, crossing her arms, her face thoughtful. "I don't want you to think I openly talk about this a lot, because I don't. But between you and me, Edward's always been slightly . . . _lost_. He was a very troubled kid when we first welcomed him into our home; for years he was just sad. It was to be expected, I suppose. He's been through a lot."

I nodded, suddenly feeling very serious. The tragedy that happened with Edward's birth parents wasn't a subject we talked about much, but I knew enough about it. I was just so thankful he'd been taken in by such lovely and generous people. A lot of orphans weren't so lucky.

I said as much.

"He's very lucky to have you," I whispered softly.

Esme paused, and then continued on with what she'd been doing with the drinks. With her hands busy, she replied, "Well, that's a two-way street. I think it's Carlisle and I that are the lucky ones. We got two lovely boys.

"Have you met Emmett yet?"

"Briefly," I answered. "I don't know him too well personally, but I know _of_ him."

Esme nodded. "Yes, well he's quite different from Edward." She turned, setting the kettle back down and turned towards me again.

"I think," she said slowly, "what we need is something nice to eat. That ought to make everyone feel a little better."

"I am so sorry for your loss," I said hurriedly and awkwardly, not wanting her to think I'd forgotten to say anything about it.

"Yes, it really is a shame. It doesn't quite feel like it, but I suppose it was his time."

"Edward said you were really close."

Esme nodded, already getting together something from the cupboard and fridge. "Yes, yes we were. Like I said, he was a great man. I couldn't think of a better father-in-law, actually." She sighed, pausing what she was doing as sadness washed over her. "Poor Elizabeth. She's completely lost. I don't think anyone's taking the news as hard as her."

I'd already figured out that Elizabeth was the grandmother of Edward. Twisting my hand together, I offered the only thing I knew.

"Would you like me to take the drinks in?"

The look Esme gave me let me know that she understood what I was trying to do. She nodded, looking so beautiful and sad and kind that it made me feel like crying myself.

"Thanks, Bella," she said, touching one of my cheeks briefly. "That would be a great help."

I took the tray of tea into the living room, finding it absolutely amazing the way such a small gesture was received by these mourning people. They smiled and murmured their thanks, and it was in that moment that I realised that just about any act of kindness, no matter how small, was always a help. It didn't matter that I couldn't make the pain go away. I supposed just being there was help enough.

As Edward's eyes caught mine yet again, I couldn't help but give him a small smile. I knew how lucky I was to have him. I was pretty sure I would be thanking the stars every night for the rest of my life for introducing him into my life.

"How are y—" he began to ask me when I reached his side.

I cut him off.

"You know, I feel as guilty as hell for saying this right now, but I couldn't be happier." I gave him a wider smile, because what I was saying was the truth. I knew it should've been wrong to feel that way, and yet, somehow, it felt right instead.

Perhaps I could bring some small portion of my happiness to this family in this moment. It was what I hoped. They needed it now more than ever.

And that was when Edward hugged me. His arms wrapped around me, bringing me closer to his warm body, and we stayed like that, locked in embrace for a long moment, completely oblivious to his family.

Well, almost. I was pretty sure that I saw, from the corner of my eye, Esme give us a large, knowing smile when she returned back into the living room.

* * *

**Sorry for how long it took to update!!! Sooo my bad.**

**For the next week I probably won't be updating at all, even though I would really like to. I have work experience, from nine till five, every day. And I am soooo nervous! I'm working with the editor for one of the newspapers, which is pretty intimidating, but at least I'll be publishing some articles :-)**

**Love ya all!**

**xxx**


	29. Confession

**AN: Sooo glad I've finally gotten this up. Hope you enjoy!**

29. Confession 

"Well hello there, my dearest chummy friend," Alice greeted me cheerfully as she closed the front door behind her, already tugging her thick winter coat off. She threw it down next to me on the couch and then stood there, putting her hands on her hips, her bag still strung over her shoulder. "Guess who came into work today?"

"Who?" I asked, completely clueless as I doggy-eared the corner of the book I was reading and closed it, placing it on the coffee table.

"Rosalie!" Alice revealed happily, her hands thrown up in the air for extra emphasis. "Seriously, Rose wanted me to cut her hair. I think I nearly died—it came out of nowhere."

I ginned. "Wow, that is sort of unexpected." Rosalie's hair was beautiful—long, thick and shiny. It was hard to imagine it any differently. "What did she want done?"

Alice shrugged, finally moving away from the front door as she swung her bag from her shoulder and dumped it on the floor. She came closer towards me, sitting down opposite me on the coffee table, right next to my discarded book. It was a bad habit of hers, sitting on all the furniture.

"She wanted it cut right off," Alice explained, her hands indicating the chop right where her own short hair ended. "That was basically all the instruction I got."

I gaped. "Seriously? But her hair is so perfect!"

Alice nodded eagerly. "I know, right?"

"So how short is it exactly?"

Alice scrunched her face up as she tried to recall. "Um . . . It's about shoulder length now. I managed to talk her into keeping some of its length. I felt so horrible, cutting her locks off like that. I was so sure she was going to spin around and bite my head off when she realised she was making a mistake."

I raised my eyebrows, still surprised. "What made her do it, do you think?" I wondered. "Was it her agent? Maybe they had some sort of photo shoot lined up for her and they needed a certain . . . type of . . . hair."

I really was pretty clueless when it came to things like modelling.

Alice shook her head, looking rather animated and exciting, like she was just waiting to ooze gossip. "No, no, it's got nothing to do with any of that. Rose hardly listens to what her agent says at all, which is why he's always getting pissed off at her. Actually, I think he's going to have a hissy fit when he sees her new hair—not that it isn't funky as hell, considering I was the one to do it."

"Then why?"

Alice shrugged. "I reckon she just wanted a change. You know how unpredictable Rose is. She has this whole princess look and everyone in the world falls in love with her appearance . . . And then you meet her and realise that she really doesn't care what everybody else wants from her, or wants her to look. She certainly didn't listen to my opinion when I kind of verbally diarrhoea-d all over her when she told me to cut away."

I smiled, stunned. It was the sort of move I would never have any guts to go through with, but one I admired greatly. "How cool."

Rose and I definitely weren't friends yet . . . But we were certainly friend_ly_.

I thought so, anyway.

Alice sighed, deflating now that her pressing news had been extracted from her. She looked like she was winding down from her big day—after all, she had work straight after school, and it was now past seven o'clock. She hadn't had a break yet all day.

"Well I've got dinner already prepared for us," I told her smugly. "It's in the oven; I didn't want it to go cold."

"Score!" Alice said appreciatively, jumping up from the low table and heading straight into the small kitchen without wasting another second. She was obviously hungry.

"So tell me," she called to me; she didn't have to raise her voice a lot to be heard, the apartment was so tiny. "Have you and Edward gotten over your little tiff?"

A slight pink heated up my cheeks but I did my best to ignore it, glad that Alice was too busy getting the casserole from the oven to look at me.

I cleared my throat. "What makes you think we had a tiff in the first place?"

"Oh, please, Bella," Alice sighed, sticking her head around the wall in the opening that was door-less; if you were technical, our kitchen wasn't really its own room, but morphed smoothly from that to the 'living room'. "I might have been a bit preoccupied, but it doesn't take a genius to realise _something_ was up between the two of you. I've never seen you mope so much today. So . . . Did you get it sorted out?"

I sighed, realising that it was almost impossible to get something past her. "Well, we didn't really have a fight at all," I told her truthfully, staring down at the floor as I heard her banging around in one of the cupboards. My face was still all hot. I was slightly nervous, trying to figure out how to explain everything to Alice when I couldn't even get it straight in my head.

I stood, slowly walking over towards her so if she turned around from the counter she could see me. I cleared my throat again, playing with my hands. "We didn't have anything remotely _close_ to a fight, actually."

"Oh," Alice said, looking at me over her shoulder with a frown. "So where was Edward at today anyway?"

I swallowed. At least this was the part that I _could_ explain, as awful as it was.

"It's really sad, Ali. I spent the afternoon with Edward's family—their grandfather died today. They were all at the hospital in the early hours of the morning."

Alice stopped what she was doing with her hands and turned her body around to face me fully, looking immediately crestfallen.

"That's so sad!" she exclaimed, concern and compassion written over every contour of her pretty face. "How are they handling it?"

I shrugged. It seemed to be answer enough.

"The poor things," Alice mused, biting her lip. "It's so not fair when someone you love dies."

She knew what she was talking about. Her grandmother had died when she was little—that was sad, but she'd been too young to properly understand it. The death that Alice had been affected by most was the passing of her cousin five years ago—Tracy had been eight years old and had died from leukaemia. We didn't talk about it much.

"So that was what was wrong with you all day? I don't blame you for being so upset."

Ugh. I so couldn't get out of this one. Especially when Alice was looking at me with all kinds of worry.

I twisted my hands together more forcefully; I was still not sure how to say what was on my mind.

"No. I didn't find out about it until after school when I came over," I confessed.

Alice paused, a frown appearing on her face. "Okay . . ." she said slowly. "What am I missing?"

My blush grew more pronounced; I knew Alice could see it.

"Well . . ."

"Yes?"

"I—IkissedEdward."

A bit of confusion was on her face, not that I could blame her. The way I'd mumbled that confession would take true effort to decipher its content.

I sighed, agitated, in the spotlight, drawing more and more attention to myself.

"Well I—I sort of . . . I kind of kissed Edward," I blurted out in one big rush, praying she wouldn't get me to repeat it.

Nothing.

There was nothing on Alice's face to indicate she'd even heard me. She was completely frozen. She still held a large spoon in her right hand.

I fidgeted awkwardly, wishing she'd hurry up and react, because not knowing how she was going to was worse than anything she could possibly say. I already felt like an idiot, confessing those words aloud.

"Alice . . ." I began to say, but I was interrupted by her loud, horrid screech of triumph.

"YEEEEESSSS!" she yelled, jumping up in the air with a fist pump. "Yes, yes, yes! I _knew_ it! Didn't I _tell_ you? I knew it, I am _sooo_ smart, this is _sooo_ great . . ." She flung the spoon onto the counter next to the hot casserole dish and jumped at me in a tight, strong hug.

I patted her back automatically, still awkward.

I rolled my eyes, laughing nervously. "Well it is possible you could show a _little_ more enthusiasm . . ."

She ignored my sarcasm, choosing instead to squeeze me tighter. "I am so happy for you, Bella," she said, her words muffled slightly as her mouth was pressed up against my shoulder. "I know you kept saying it wasn't going to happen and that I was being ridiculous, but I know you, and I could see him, and it just totally made sense . . ."

"So you really don't think it was a mistake?"

I tried to pose my question casually as I hugged her back, but the real weight and importance of it made the query reflect how troubled I really felt. Her answer really meant a lot to me, a lot more than I could express, and it showed in the slight unsteadiness of my voice.

Alice withdrew from me, taking a step back so she could look me in the face. I was biting my lip, suddenly anxious. Her expression was soft, tender, filled with care and yet concerned.

"Why would you ask me something like that?" she wondered, her eyebrows tilting together. "Am I missing something?"

I went to try and shrug the whole thing off, but it was pointless. This was a moment I'd been waiting for since last night; I'd been afraid of it, unsure how to get there, but now the opportunity was presenting itself and I couldn't turn my back on it.

Alice wouldn't judge me. She was the one and only person I could go to in this situation, the one person I trusted who could possibly help me out.

"You do like him, don't you, Bella?" Alice asked me in all seriousness, her eyes still focused on my face, trying to read my expression.

I took a deep breath. And then let it out in a rush as something inside me exploded.

"I don't _know_!" I exclaimed rather loudly. "How am I supposed to know something like that? I have no idea, none at all, I feel so _stupid_, I just wish—"

"Okay, okay, calm down," Alice soothed. The prospect of having something for dinner had flown out the window; neither of us were interested in food at the moment. Alice grabbed onto my hand and pulled me back into the lounge, basically pushing me into the couch. "You sit there," she ordered, all business-like. "I know it's totally pathetic that I still rely on the calming influence of hot tea in situations like these, but what can I say? When I like something, I like it. Stay," she instructed again, and promptly disappeared back into the kitchen.

I sighed, that sigh turning into a groan as I hit my head into the back of the couch repeatedly, trying to shake some sense into myself.

The few minutes that Alice was absent seemed to go very quickly; I hardly had any time to gather my thoughts on the matter at all before she appeared again, this time both of her hands in use as they grasped steaming mugs of tea.

The picture reminded me of the moment with Esme in the kitchen a few hours ago, reminded me of the gathering of Cullens at Edward's house this afternoon, reminded me of everything that happened, of Edward, the way he looked at me with his eyes, his expression. . .

Alice pushed the cup into my hands without a word and nestled back into the sofa next to me, her legs curling underneath her as she got comfortable. She didn't say anything for a long minute; the pair of us just sat there. She looked thoughtfully at the wall as I stared gloomily into my tea, as if it held life's answers within its dark depths.

"Alright," Alice said calmly, ending the short silence in a relaxing manner. I stopped staring with such intensity into my cup and looked at her face, which, much like it had been before, was still thoughtful.

"Why don't you tell me what happened when you kissed Edward? I mean, if you want to. Tell me about it."

I tried not to groan again, because I didn't want to seem rude or ungrateful for her efforts. And, sure, I didn't necessarily want to tell her—I was still pretty embarrassed over the whole thing—but I knew I couldn't _not_. I needed to. Perhaps she could shed some light on the utterly crazy and delirious avenue my twisted thoughts had taken, because I certainly couldn't.

"I don't know," I mumbled to begin with, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear as it fell over my shoulder. "I just—it just happened. I didn't think about. It was last night, actually, in . . . my bedroom."

Alice's face fell, her eyes widening. "Oh, crap!" she exclaimed. "Are you serious? Did this happen before I came home?" A look of guilt overwhelmed her features. "I'm so sorry yet again for interrupting, that was so selfish of me, but I didn't think about anything . . ."

I held my hands up for her to stop. "No, stop worrying. You didn't interrupt anything. Even if you did, you shouldn't be apologising, you were upset, you're my best friend, and you have every right to interrupt _anything_ if you need me." I let out a breath, and felt my cheeks warm again as I spoke, thoughts of last night coming to mind as I tried to explain what happened through my layers of embarrassment. "It happened while you were at home, actually," I mumbled, peeking to see Alice's reaction in what was hopefully a surreptitious manner.

Alice's brows shot up, looking incredulous.

I nodded, twisting my lower lip with my teeth. "Yeah, it was when you were in your room getting ready to see Jasper. Edward was talking about you, worrying about you . . . He was really concerned and was checking with me if he thought you were alright . . . You see, Alice," I said with a sort of confession tone of voice, "While he was doing what any _good_ person would do in that situation . . . I was . . . thinking other things. Things about _him_. I hardly even _listened_ to him. All I could think about was how great he looked and how close he was to me and I just—I just . . ."

"Kissed him?" Alice offered helpfully, her voice subdued.

I nodded, hanging my head. "Yeah. I didn't even realise what the hell I was doing, it only lasted a second before I actually gained some sense and pulled away from him. I mean, wasn't that sort of horrible? Just throwing myself at him when I didn't even know if he wanted it?"

Alice twisted her lips together. The look of understanding I knew would be on her face was there, letting me know everything was going to be okay.

"You've got to lighten up, Bella," Alice told me sincerely. "You're talking like you feel guilty, like you've committed some unimaginable sin. It's just a kiss."

"Yeah, it was, but it wasn't as well. There was more to it. Don't you think it was selfish of me to be thinking of stuff like that when you're upset?"

Alice set her tea down on the table and placed a hand on my arm. "No, I don't," she answered me, and I knew she was telling me the truth. "You really need to be kinder to yourself. It's useless beating yourself up over such small things. Bella, you're _allowed_ to have feelings for someone. It's not a crime—especially when the guy you've taken fancy to is not only one of the hottest things on this planet but is also hell-bent on making you happy. Not many girls make such excellent decisions, you know. Jeez, you know full well I didn't."

"That guy was nice," I stated weakly. "I thought you said you didn't regret anything."

She sighed, running her hand through her hair once as she thought of how to answer.

"Well . . . Sure, he was nice. He was a nice, decent guy. I don't regret that aspect of it. But if I could take it all back, I would. I was fifteen, I was stupid, and I wish that I hadn't done anything with him now. Because quite honestly, Bella, I would be more than happy to have Jasper be all of my firsts—my first kiss, my first boyfriend, the first guy I was with . . .

"Not that we're really going to get into that," she hurried to add. "That's in the past. This is the present. What's really got you worried? The fact that it sounds like you really _do_ have a huge thing for Edward, or the fact that you also seem to be absolutely terrified because of it?"

I groaned. "I have no idea! And how do you know that I seriously like him? I'm not even sure."

She rolled her eyes, looking so typically herself. "Please," she said. "If anyone else but me _ever_ tries to tell you that you like someone, don't listen to them. In this case, because it _is_ me and I know you better than you know yourself, let me spell something out to you: You are into Edward Cullen, the boy of your dreams, and you seriously _want him_."

If I hadn't been blushing before, I certainly was now. My face was all hot and bothered. I fidgeted in my seat, trying not to spill my hot drink as I did.

"Aw, there's no need to be embarrassed in front of me!" Alice said cheerfully, trying to make me lighten up. "I knew it the second you said his name to me that night after the party at his house; so it's not like it's something _I've_ just figured out. You just need some time to get _your_ head around it."

I rolled my eyes. "_Not_ helping," I said. I thought over what she was saying. I thought back to the moment when Edward's lips pressed into mine, how differently I'd felt—different in a _good_ way. Differently to how I'd ever felt before. If I went further back, to all those times when he was with me . . . How he treated me, how caring he was towards me . . . How we could laugh together all the time over absolutely everything and nothing at the same time . . . How he was always there for me, supportive and trustworthy . . . I couldn't believe I was only just beginning to see it. I wasn't stupid enough to believe I was in love with him. But I _was_ starting to see Alice's point; I couldn't remember along the track of the past three weeks how my feelings towards Edward had morphed into something more than just friendship. It seemed to have just been a natural development; was that why I was so blind to it all? Because it really was a natural progression?

And then I recalled our time together today. I'd been so persistent and stubborn, refusing to admit even to myself that kissing him wasn't just some stupid, meaningless thing, even if it _hadn't_ been planned. It did mean something. I didn't know what—I was so utterly clueless when it came to things like this—but I couldn't lie to myself forever.

And I couldn't lie to Edward either. Not when he asked me right out like that, guard down, if kissing him didn't mean anything to me. How could I possibly not answer with the truth?

It was his answer that amazed me more than anything. I felt guilty even thinking the fact, but if I was going to be even more honest with myself, I was a little disgruntled at the bad timing of his grandfather's death. I wanted to know what would've happened if we hadn't been in that situation, with his waiting family downstairs. What would he have done? Would he have kissed me?

The mere thought made my insides feel strange and weird. It also snapped me out of the massive reverie I was having.

I blinked, startled as I came back down to earth. Alice's face smiled happily up at me, giving me the feeling that she suspected what I'd been thinking about the entire time.

"Oh, sigh," she said dramatically. "I just love that expression on your face. It's sort of funny, isn't it, because it wasn't so long ago that I was wishing aloud for your chance to be as happy as I was . . . I guess I'm like some fairy godmother or something."

She seemed pleased at the idea, and perked up even more, taking a large sip from her tea as her large eyes watched me joyfully. With her small structure and delicate features, I supposed a fairy godmother wasn't too far off.

"Err . . ." I cleared my throat, hating to break it to her, but unable to resist pointing out the flaw in what she'd just said. "Fairy godmothers grant the wishes of _other_ people, Alice," I reminded her. "Not their own ones."

She gave me a reproachful look. "Whatever. I guess we're just lucky that my wish for you was pretty similar to the wish you had for yourself." She grinned, all of a sudden rather bouncy. "Jesus, I still can't believe you kissed him. Did he kiss you back? Please tell me he did. Wait—" She gasped, eyes wide. "Oh my gosh, have you guys kissed _again_?! Are you together now? Because that would just be the cutest thing, you really suite each other, I mean, talk about a match made in heaven and all that cheesy stuff . . ."

I waved my hand, trying to calm her down. "The answer is no to all your questions," I answered, making it easy for myself. "The reason I went around to Edward's this afternoon was to convince him that I made a mistake last night and that I didn't like him that way—"

"You WHAT?" Alice looked completely shocked. "Are you crazy? How could you not skip to that part to begin with?"

She looked worried—surprisingly worried, considering this didn't even involve her. Silly Alice.

"Calm down," I told her. "You didn't let me finish. I came around to say that, found out about the death, felt terrible, apologised like crazy, and basically admitted that when it came to what happened with him and me I didn't regret any of it. He basically told me the same thing." I took a drink, and then swallowed the liquid down. "So now you're just about up to scratch. The only part that is missing is that I've met both his parents, his uncle, and his grandmother."

Alice looked gobsmacked. At least she'd calmed down and wasn't wailing. She set her drink determinedly down on the table with some sort of finality, as said, "Well, Bella, I have to say I'm impressed. Everything seems to be completely in order; why did you think you needed me?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, because that was completely untrue. "But I _do_ need you. I need you to tell me what to do. Because tomorrow I'm going to be seeing him at _school_. And school already has hurdles for the pair of us, considering the entire fiasco that presents itself there every day. Now we've got this to try and deal with on top of that. And I _don't know how to act_."

Alice blinked, and then her blank expression transformed slowly, melting into a kind smile. "You don't have to act like anything. Just be Bella."

"'Just be Bella?' That's you advice? No offense, but 'just being Bella' isn't going to really cut it. You don't understand. He _looks_ at me. Not," I said, holding my hand up to stop the flow of giggles that were escaping Alice's mouth, "just like a normal look. He _really_ looks."

"With his eyes?"

"Oh, shut up," I muttered, poking her in the ribs as she laughed and then tried to muffle the sounds. "It's different from how he's ever looked at me before."

Alice's laughs died down gradually until she was just looking at me with a sweet smile on her lips, a thoughtful look to her face.

"It makes me freeze up," I admitted, feeling crazy for confessing something like that.

She gently rubbed my arm in a comforting manner, her eyes wide and sincere and on my own.

"Maybe," Alice whispered, obviously trying to be careful in the way she worded what she was saying. She looked at me seriously, but there was still a small smile on her lips. "Maybe Edward's always looked at you like that. Maybe you're only just beginning to notice it."

Her words were impossible. They didn't make sense.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked, my voice almost pleading. If she didn't have the answers, I was certain no one else did.

Alice shook her head, the small smile still present. "I can't answer that," she said quietly. "All I can tell you is to do whatever you think and feel is right."

And she picked her discarded mug back up and drained the last mouthful from it while I tried to contemplate her answer.

Just be me.

Great.

* * *

XXXXXXXX

I tugged my backpack onto my shoulder more securely as I looked around the student lot self-consciously. I knew I had to admit it to myself, had to admit to the fact that I was looking around for any signs that told me Edward was around.

So far, I couldn't spot any.

Alice was by my side, walking next to me, her stride matching mine perfectly. She didn't say anything as we walked, leaving me alone to my barely-concealed nerves and anxious scans of the school yard. I was trying to be sneaking about the whole thing, but I suspected I failed.

A few people still stared at me as I strolled by like they were waiting for me to do something crazy. It still made me feel uneasy, but not as flustered anymore. The absence of Edward nearby meant that I didn't have half as much attention drawn to myself; I supposed, without him, I wasn't half as interesting.

People still stared at Edward. A _lot_. It was funny, because the way Edward treated things almost gave you the impression that he was pretty much friendless now that he had said goodbye to his former buddies—and the reality was nothing like that. Sure, he may have lost his small and popular, shadowing group, but that didn't mean he had lost his looks or his wealth or his personality. People responded to him. It was just the way it was. Even his reputation hadn't been tarnished much by the fallout—if anything, it had given everyone the impression that he was just about the biggest star ever to have walked the halls of Forks High.

Not many had the guts to make such a controversial move, and even less pulled it off with grace and finesse, always keeping their cool.

Alice hummed something oddly cheerful to herself under her breath as we neared the main building. It was comforting, whatever tune it was. It made me feel less alienated.

She held the door aside for me with a knowing smile when we reached the front entrance. I gave her a smile back, sliding indoors and out of the cold gratefully.

When I reached my locker, my nerves seemed to multiply. I knew Edward couldn't be far off; even if I missed him before class, I was bound to see him in the hall before lunch. That made looking out my correct books harder than it really should have been.

Students filled the hallway pretty quickly as the time grew nearer to the bell. I was just thumbing through one of my textbooks, trying to find a worksheet I was sure I'd slipped within its pages yesterday in my haze, when somebody came up behind me and placed their hand on my shoulder, startling me.

I whirled around in surprise, dropping my book. It landed near my foot on the floor with a _thunk_. I stared at it for a second stupidly, and then looked up with raised eyebrows.

Edward smiled down at me, his grin lovely and crooked and beautiful. _He_ was beautiful. He was wearing a grey t-shirt and a dark jacket, his hair its usual mess, eyes warm and deep.

"Hey there," he said, his grin growing, dropping his hand. "I didn't mean to scare you."

I swallowed back the lump in my throat, trying to remember how to speak. Oh, hell. How had I actually once been able to talk to him like it was so easy and effortless? This was anything but. I just felt utterly useless.

"Mm, um, no, you're fine," I spieled off hurriedly, trying to return his lazy smile. I was about to bend over to retrieve my book when he did it for me, handing it over wordlessly.

"Thanks," I said gratefully, my hand brushing his as he gave it back. He didn't seem to notice.

"Did you have a nice night yesterday?" he asked me politely, because that was what he was. More so than I was, anyway. With a barely audible gasp, I remembered myself and all past events leading up to this moment.

"Oh," I said. "Yes, I did, actually. Thank you. What about you?" I tried to read his face without getting distracted, wondering if he really was alright. "How is your family?"

His smiled dimmed a little, but his eyes were still just as warm. "They're coping," he answered. "You've made quite a lasting impression on the whole lot of them, I have to tell you. _Especially_ Esme. She's completely taken with you."

I smiled, pleased, because that meant a lot to me. "She's so nice," I said sincerely. "They're _all_ so nice."

* * *

**AN: Ugh. This is a really abrupt ending, because it's not really an ending at all. Next chapter will take off right where this left off—and I apologise if that's annoying. I'll be posting it up next week**

**Thank you to all my readers & reviewers!**


	30. Feeling Strange

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

30. Feeling Strange 

"_How is your family?"_

_His smiled dimmed a little, but his eyes were still just as warm. "They're coping," he answered. "You've made quite a lasting impression on the whole lot of them, I have to tell you. Especially Esme. She's completely taken with you."_

_I smiled, pleased, because that meant a lot to me. "She's so nice," I said sincerely. "They're _all_ so nice."_

"So what are you doing tonight?" Edward asked me casually, leaning against the long line of lockers as he stared at me. "If you're not busy, you should come over again. Or we could go out somewhere."

_Calm down_, I told myself. _It's not like he's actually asking you on a date, so there's no point in getting so ridiculously muddled_. _You've hung out with him a dozen times now._

I tried in vain to match his casual, easy way of conversing.

"Oh. I can't tonight," I told him truthfully. "I have work."

Edward looked at me with a confused expression. "Work?" he repeated.

I rolled my eyes, glad I was still capable of the simple action. "Yeah, work. Some of us need to earn some amount of money to survive." Edward didn't work—and really, why would he? It wasn't like he needed the extra cash. "I have a shift tonight."

Edward nodded. "Okay then. May I ask, though, why you seem to work so irregularly?"

I smiled. He had a point. I had only worked twice in the past three weeks. "I honestly don't know," I told him. I shrugged. "I'm just a casual worker, and I suppose when I applied for the job I didn't realise just how casual a worker I was going to be. Not that I really mind; you know I hate my job."

Edward smiled slightly, but it wasn't as warm or as all-consuming as his earlier grins my way.

"Well that really sucks," he said. "You don't feel sick, do you? You could always call in ill."

I knew he was joking; Edward would never expect me to do something like that for him. I twisted my lips together thoughtfully, pretending I was considering the option.

"Hmmm . . ." I mused. "Well, no. I feel pretty much fine, actually. Not the least bit unwell." I shoved the textbook back into my locker, finally giving up trying to search for the document I'd lost. I tossed my hair over my shoulder. "Besides," I said, "the extra money wouldn't hurt. Charlie's paying for all my expenses besides the apartment, but having money in my account is sort of crucial."

"Well what time is your shift?" he wondered.

"Four till nine."

Edward looked down at me. "So maybe I'll just eat-in at your work tonight."

I laughed, grinning. It felt good to let go and laugh at him; it sort of swallowed up my nerves. "Sure," I agreed. "While you're at it, you can be sure to leave a huge tip my way." I slammed my locker shut and turned to look at him. "What do you have first?"

Edward shrugged. "No idea."

I raised my eyebrows. "And you don't think that you're going to be late for class when the bell rings and you're still trying to figure that out?"

He grinned at me. "Is that your way of telling me to leave? It's not going to work. Besides, the bell won't ring for—"

The loud, inescapable sound of the bell ringing interrupted him mid-sentence, and I giggled at the bewildered expression on his face.

"What was that?"

He frowned. "Be quiet," he told me. His voice seemed reluctant. "I guess I've got to go."

But he didn't move.

Students were filing in and out of the hallway as Edward stared at me, still leaning against the wall of lockers. Amazingly, none of the kids whose lockers they belonged to showed up, needing him to move so they could access their books. I supposed it was just a magical part of being Edward Cullen that things like that worked out so smoothly.

His eyes seemed brighter today. He looked like he'd had a decent amount of sleep, eradicating the dark shadows underneath his eyes, which pleased me. He hadn't looked all too well yesterday at all.

"When's the funeral?" I asked quietly in a hushed tone.

His stare only became more powerful. "Sunday," he murmured.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

He gave me a small, reassuring smile. "Yes," he said simply and surely. "You look nice, by the way."

My cheeks flushed a faint pink as I forced myself to not look down at what I was wearing. I was pretty sure I was just wearing my usual jeans with a purple blouse I'd pulled on half-blindly this morning; nothing that really deserved a comment like that. "Thanks," I whispered, feeling self-conscious. Edward rarely seemed to pay attention to how I was looking. I was suddenly wishing that I'd put more effort into my appearance.

There was another stretch of silence between us that dragged on amongst the noisy corridor. It was funny, because it really did seem almost like things were deadly quiet, when in fact it was just as noisy as any other day.

I'd been looking at the floor for a long moment when I finally pulled together enough confidence to look up into his steady gaze again. There was something off about his expression, off in a good way, a special look I'd never seen before. I suddenly recalled Alice's words to me, with startling precision as her hushed voice filled my head. _Maybe Edward's always looked at you like that,_ she'd said._ Maybe you're only just beginning to notice it. _

But that was ridiculous. There was no way in hell Edward's eyes had ever taken me in like _that_ before. There was no way I could miss something like that. Not when it made my heartbeat thud loudly in my ears and my breath spike like I was short of breath. It was _impossible_ to miss.

I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry. I wanted to look away, but Edward's gaze kept my eyes trapped on his. There was something wanting in his expression, and it frightened me.

And then, when it felt like I really couldn't take it anymore, something behind the green depths of his eyes seemed to slowly fade away, and he relaxed, leaning a fraction of an inch back from me.

I took a deep breath, grateful for the air that cleared my head.

"You've got to go," I reminded him, realising that hardly anyone was left behind in the corridor besides us.

My cheeks were still all hot.

He nodded, scratching the back of his neck as he looked around the emptying hallway much like I had.

"Hmmm," he said, like he was, just like me again, surprised. "I guess you're right." His steady eyes appraised me. "I'll see you at lunch?"

I nodded. "Well, yeah." Why wouldn't he? Unless he didn't want to, I mean. Which was actually a possibility, so perhaps it was nice that he had asked me about that—one less thing for my anxious mind to obsess and worry over. He'd taken care of that.

Yet again, I waited for him to leave, but he didn't move. If I was honest, I didn't really want him to.

"What do you have first this morning?" he asked me with sincere curiosity.

"English," I told him, shaking my folder as evidential proof, and then stopping when I felt like an idiot. "With Alice. And Angela. Definitely one of the better subjects in this place." Once upon a time I would have said the best, but Bio held a greater attraction to me this year thanks to the fact that it was my one class with Edward. "So I'm thinking it's a high possibility you have Gym now."

"Really? How would you know that?" Edward wondered, cocking his head to the side.

My blush, which had up until this point been fading, came back in full force. "Just a guess," I mumbled, resisting the urge to stare at the floor at my slipup. "I've been with you constantly these past few weeks and I've just about caught on to your timetable, in conjunction with mine." Was that something I shouldn't admit to?

"Well that's sort of handy," Edward noted. A slow, dazzling smile spread onto his face. "I guess I really _should_ go. I've been late for that class almost too much this year."

"Yeah," I agreed, trying to ignore his smile. "I, on the other hand, am going to be late for class for the first time this year. Ever."

"Just blame it on me, corrupting you with bad influence. They won't care, anyway. Not when it's you." He said the last part with extra emphasis. I supposed his words weren't too special, but the way he said them . . . Like I was somehow special _myself_ . . . Was enough to throw me off yet again into the void of stupidity.

"I'm going to be later though," I said with a very serious tone. "I seriously need to pee before I wet my pants."

If there was ever a time where I could somehow snap my fingers and let the floor swallow me up whole, I hoped it was now. Edward laughed, a free, loud laugh that just made me more and more mortified. If I was with Alice, it wouldn't be that terrible. If I had said that with a slight joking underlay, perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad either.

But no. I had to say it like it was some huge, deadpan confession, to just about the coolest guy on the planet.

"Oh my God," I groaned in humiliation, covering my face with one of my hands as he continued to chuckle. "That came out all wrong. I can't believe I just told you that."

"Naw, it was cute," Edward said between his laughter as I peeked at him between my fingers. Damn it, the guy managed to look hot even when he laughed at my expense. There had to be a law against that sort of injustice. "I'm glad you feel so comfortable around me to inform me of stuff like that," he smirked.

I didn't say anything. I was too busy drowning in self-induced embarrassment.

Edward's smirk grew gentler. His hands came up to brush mine gently away from my face, removing them completely, holding them together in both of his. "It's alright," he said, staring into my eyes.

"Oh yeah?" I whispered, doubt lacing my voice. I still felt like cowering, but he'd made it impossible to hide behind my hands again.

"Oh yeah," he murmured, his eyes kind. Then he grinned, and squeezed my hands between his. "You look kinda sweet, though, when you're all embarrassed like that."

I groaned again, deflating all hopes of pretending that I hadn't managed to spew verbal garbage to him like that. I took a few steps back, extracting my hands from his grip.

"I'm leaving now," I informed him, conviction in my tone. "Before I say anything worse."

"Or before you make a mess in the hall and get more embarrassed, huh?"

"Shut up," I hissed heatedly.

Edward laughed again. "I'll see you later, Bella," he said, all warm and beautiful. With a parting glance my way that I barely returned, he turned and strolled off gracefully down the hallway.

As soon as he was out of earshot, I let out another, louder groan.

"God help me," I muttered. I tried to shake my head clear, pulling on a face that hopefully disguised my inner turmoil and made me look in control. I couldn't get out of the hall fast enough; with a glance down at my watch, I noted that I really was late for class. If that was the case, there was no point in hurrying too much. I made a beeline for the bathroom.

Once I'd rinsed and dried off my hands, I paused, looking up into my reflection in the mirror. Normally I barely payed attention to it; the lighting in the bathroom was harsh and particularly cruel to my specific skin colouring. It made me look pasty and washed-out. Now, however, I felt the need to study myself. I wanted to know how somebody else would see me.

When I looked at myself, I was so used to the view I barely batted an eyelid. I could easily describe myself without the aid of a mirror—brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, flat-chested, boringly normal when it came to any of my features . . .

I frowned at my reflection, noting how my forehead creased when I did so.

What was I _doing_? I wasn't even referring to staring at myself in the mirror, which was a clear sign of either extreme vanity or a spout of undeniable craziness. I wanted an answer to what I was doing with _Edward_. I was late for class. I was late for class because I was so caught up in the finer details of that boy that I didn't really have enough concentration to notice anything else. And now I was staring at my reflection like that would somehow give me the answers.

It was the wrong place to look. Why would observing how plain and ordinary I looked help me reason why Edward would even be mildly interested in me in the first place?

_Just be Bella_, Alice had said. But how did that help when 'just Bella' didn't really offer anything all that great?

Edward had said I looked nice. Scowling at myself, I had no idea why he had.

I heard a slight commotion outside, and that reminded me that I was actually on my way to class and that I had somewhere I needed to be.

I didn't spare myself a last look; I turned with relief and pushed my way out of the empty bathroom. I hurried off to class, trying not to think of anything at all, as if that could somehow protect me.

* * *

Lunch was interesting, to put it mildly. We were still sitting on our 'new' table that was starting to get pretty old, and by we, I meant Alice, Edward, Angela, Ben and I. Jessica and her crew didn't join us; she was sitting with Lauren and the boys and kept giving nervous glances my way. The knowledge of what Lauren had done to me seemed to barely get acknowledged—I simply didn't even look at her. They _weren't_ at our table.

Oh, and I almost forgot who else _was_.

Jasper was sitting opposite me, right next to an exultant little Alice.

I wasn't sure how it happened. One minute, we were all laughing together about something Ben had just said, and the next, Jasper was standing there, asking if he could sit with us. While Alice seemed incapable of speech, I'd answered in her place, assuring him it was fine.

The look he sent Alice as he pulled the chair out next to her was heated. _I_ almost blushed.

Of course, it didn't last long, because he seemed to realise the rest of us were staring at the small exchange and he got all embarrassed and shy and looked down at his food.

He still sent her a small smile, though. One she returned.

And I couldn't help it. Call me a masochist, but a part of me _needed_ to turn my head around—with almost overdone casualness—and see what was happening at the table Jasper had just come from.

Their group was getting smaller and smaller, the numbers dwindling as both Edward and then Jasper had turned from them and sort of joined onto _our_ weird kind of group. I sort of hated the fact that it almost felt like there were sides to this whole animosity issue. You were on their side or our side. I hope that was just my paranoid view of things and it wasn't really the case. I hated ultimatums like that, and it seemed so . . . fakely dramatic.

James was missing. Again. He was probably with that horrible Victoria girl now that he was not required at school for the rest of the week due to his suspension. The thought in itself made me sick, but I was glad I didn't have to put up with his dominant and leering presence. The smell that came off the guy was just . . . repellent. It was a mixture of smoke and booze and weed and sweat, mixed in with this sort of spicy smell that his breath always reeked of.

I was so busy contemplating the absence of the creepiest and seemingly most-dangerous guy of our school that it took me a second to realise somebody was looking at me.

When I latched my eyes onto hers and the amount of bitterness that her glare sent me processed in my brain, I immediately recoiled away slightly, even though she was across the room from me. She was sitting amongst her friends and seemed to be the only person who wasn't ignoring our table studiously like we were some ugly plague. Her hair was in its usual over-styled way, her clothing screaming designer, her fake nails even longer then her last.

Tanya gave me a rude hand gesture that would've shocked me in other circumstances—she always pretended to act so graceful and sugary around everyone—showing off her new manicure nicely, and something flashed in the deep and shallow depths of her eyes.

Edward's hand being placed innocently on my knee made me spin my head around with a snap. I jumped slightly, and then when I was met with deep green and concern, I relaxed, exhaling.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked me, looking almost alarmed at my reaction.

I blinked. "Oh. Um, yeah. Sorry. I just totally zoned out there for a minute." I laughed shakily, noting how his hand was still on my leg and seemed to be burning through the thick material of my jeans. I picked at my food to give myself something to do as he regarded me curiously.

"Hmm," he said. "If you're sure. Are you worrying about Biology next lesson? It should be fine."

I was so surprised I glanced back up at him. "What do you mean?" I asked him. "Why would I be worrying?"

A line creased his brow, and he looked like he now regretted bringing it up. "It's no big deal," he assured. "I just assumed, what with the whole Lauren incident, that that particular class might be . . ." He struggled for the word. "_Difficult_."

Ah. Now his anxiousness made sense.

"I'm sort of over it," I told him truthfully. "I don't know . . . I guess it doesn't really bother me anymore. I'm better than that, and I've overcome it. With your help," I added. "I would still be locking myself away in the library right now drowning in shame if it weren't for you."

He laughed, but shook his head in disagreement. "That's a lovely thing to say, but it's certainly not true. You'd overcome it yourself. You're stronger than you think." And as he said the last part, he gently squeezed my leg.

Oh, my God. I couldn't deal with this. Not right now. I felt like I was melting. Melting into disfigurement, actually, not in some gooey way. He was so nice, saying the greatest things, and I kept getting tongue-tied before I could even think of an appropriate response.

I sighed quietly, so quietly he didn't hear me, and took a hearty bite out of my pizza that tasted like absolutely nothing.

* * *

**Okay, okay, I know this is so embarrassingly pathetic. For what it's worth, I am SO unbelievably sorry. First of all, this chapter was supposed to be a lot longer, and secondly, I intended to update it almost two weeks ago.**

**I've posted it up now because I don't know how long it'll take me to get to the part that was supposed to follow on from where I've left off. I promise you, the next chapter will be worth it though! I suspect you'll like it :) I'll post up the day my exams finish, simply to celebrate… And it'll be _long_.**

**The reason, if anyone cares to know, why I've been so busy is because I have exams coming up in one week and it's also my sister's eighteenth. I am also organising my year level's formal, so my time is just taken up constantly by extra-curricular activities.**

**Anyhoo, this is long enough. Thank you for hanging with me! I really appreciate it.**


	31. Their First

**Sorry this took a while. I warned everyone this would take a while. It is a _little_ longer, like promised, and I hope you're still with me**!

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

31. Their First 

The streets were quiet as we walked side by side in the cold evening air. A large percent of the shops and small private-owned stores were closed due to the hour of night, and I gazed out in front of me, noting the trails of fog that appeared in the atmosphere from my mouth as I breathed and exhaled. Edward was next to me, but he looked a lot more peaceful than I did. It had been that way all night.

We didn't hold hands—such a usual custom now seemed more daunting to me than it had previously. It seemed like an intimate action, something that would now mean something different than it had before. Or maybe I was just chicken.

Words shared between the two of us had been minimal for the past five minutes or so. Occasionally, our own private thoughts were interrupted by the passing of a car, or the odd individual who was outside like us. But that was pretty much it. Apart from these small interludes, we were basically alone.

I was trying not to dwell on that fact too much.

Edward had been with me for the past two hours. Earlier today at school, when he'd jokingly—or so I'd naively thought—mentioned dropping in on me at work, never in a million years had I expected to see him there, thought that he'd actually _meant_ it. Silly me. I should have been more prepared—I cannot convey how shocked I was when the other girl on shift with me, Tracy, had basically had a giggling fit when she was trying to describe the guy that had just walked into the shop.

"Oh my god, you have to serve him," she encouraged me. "You'll see what I mean. Look, he's right over there." And she had pointed to the corner booth, where, sprawled out casually with a crooked grin, sat Edward in all of his charming glory.

And he had been staring straight at me.

The café wasn't big. It was just crowded. So even if Tracey hadn't basically had a heart attack in her efforts to show me the good-looking boy, I would have eventually caught on to his presence.

Working had never seemed like such an effort as it had tonight. I mixed up half a dozen orders and made numerous mistakes whereas normally I made none, all because I was so highly aware of Edward's gaze on me, ever minute, through and through. And when I went to get his order, he even had the nerve to pretend like he didn't know me, couldn't tell how taken aback I was by him being there, and wasn't highly aware of how muddled I was, simply by being next to him.

I couldn't be mad, though. How could you be? That boy was just too sweet. He stayed with me until closing, waiting to walk me home. He had even tried helping me clean up, but he gave up on that quickly when we both realised he was just making more work.

The duel sound of our striding footsteps hitting the pavement brought me back down to earth. I looked up sideways to glance surreptitiously at him, but blushed and smiled sheepishly when I realised he'd chosen the same moment to look at me, too.

Edward took that as a queue to begin speaking.

"So, it seems like you're just about the luckiest girl on the planet," he dropped casually, watching my face expectantly as he spoke.

Apparently I reacted the way he predicted, because my confused "What?" just made him smile wider.

"You know," he said, light and jovial, but the permanence of my questioning expression doesn't seem to surprise him. He knew I didn't know. "I'm so hurt it seems to have slipped your mind completely, in such a short amount of time," Edward teased, clearly enjoying himself as he strung me along. "I would've thought you'd have keeled over by the wonderment of it all by now."

"Wonderment of what?" I asked, because I knew it was what he wanted me to say.

But he just ignored my question. It was almost fun to watch him now, all warmth and light and happiness. It would've been, if I had felt those same things too. But I was still just a muddled pile of questions and fears.

"I have to say I'm at least proud of you," Edward continued. "You're handling it amazingly calmly." He grinned down at me, shocking me when he gently threw his arm over my shoulders. The closeness was almost enough to disrupt my sanity, his body heat inviting and comforting and just plain old _nice_. "Out of all the girls in the class, you are assigned by sheer chance as my new Biology partner. Aren't you just weeping from happiness?"

"Hardly," I said acerbically, but I couldn't help but give him a small, amused smile in return.

He grew more confident from that simple reaction. Not that his confidence ever really lacked or dwindled.

"Just you wait," he said. "I bet you it'll sink in pretty soon. You'll be so grateful once you realise what a scientific genius I am that you'll be on your knees before me in no time."

His comment hit the cold, frigid air, and seemed to get stuck in it, for not even the wind could easily ignore such a thing. I felt an embarrassed blush come to my cheeks as Edward clearly realised what he'd just said, what it sounded like he'd implied.

The silence was deafening.

"Sorry," Edward muttered, looking at the ground as we walked like I was. "I didn't mean it like that."

I knew he didn't, but the effects it had were hard to shake off immediately. I didn't know what to say in response, so I opted to stay quiet instead because it was easier than floundering around in my mind for a suitable reply.

Some of Edward's good mood died off a bit after that, and I could sense this from the slight frown that appeared on his face, the small change in his relaxed posture and the way he removed his arm from around me, like he had just felt the unacknowledged barrier come up between us.

He cleared his throat. "So I hope you aren't too unhappy with me for leaving my car so far away and forcing you to walk in the cold and dark," he said. "I swear, the weather was much more amiable when I had the brilliant idea to park so far away."

I shook my head. "Honestly, it's fine."

"Just think how good it'll be once we arrive and I can turn the heater on full. It'll be worth it," he grinned.

"I said it was fine."

"At least it's not raining. That would suck. I would hate to see you get all your pretty hair wet, especially because I know you probably wouldn't care."

"Jesus _Christ_, Edward, I told you it was fine!"

The very loud, very irritated tone I used to lash out with was impossible to miss, impossible to interpret any other way. And I hated it instantly, as soon as the echoes were ringing in my ears, because I didn't think it was possible I could use such a horrible voice and direct it towards Edward.

Edward, whose bright and dazzling smile slowly slid off his face as my retort sunk in.

"I'm sorry," I hurried to say, mortified at my behaviour. I turned to face him, stopping our stroll as I grabbed his arm, hoping that some form of contact would wash away my harsh words. "Really, I am."

I searched his face, hoping he wouldn't be angry at me, knowing he probably had a right to.

"It's alright," he said immediately, not surprising me at being so quick to forgive. "I didn't mean to annoy you." He gave me a smile again, but this one was simply a shadow of all his former grins, and watching him run a hand through his hair was a clear sign of his discomfort.

"It's not. You didn't," I assured him. My face turned sombre, so very serious. I wanted to snap out of my glum, solemn mood, maybe try at joking lightly to get things back on track, but I was clueless at where to start. Edward was good at those sorts of things, not me.

Finally, I withdrew my hand from his arm, biting my lip against a thousand muddled feelings and thoughts. Edward turned to look back at the ground.

We continued to walk for another minute without speaking, as I felt the dejectedness my outburst had caused fill up my head and swim around in confusing circles.

"Tell you what," Edward began, and I was so grateful I looked up at him with a huge grin.

My beam faltered a little though, when his warm eyes met mine and I fought the urge to blush and run for cover. Even just having him looking at me like that was exhausting, it caused such strong reactions.

"How about we swing by your home, pick up Alice so she's not busy worrying over you like an overprotective parent, and head to my place?" His eyes were alight with the idea, clearly excited. "I know it's a school night, but it's almost the weekend. And you really need to chill. We can fall asleep watching really bad movies and maybe you can figure out how to sweet talk Emmett into getting us something to eat."

It was excruciating, trying to figure out what I wanted, what was best. Because his offer sounded perfect, something I'd never done before in my life, something I probably _needed_ to do so I could confidently say I had lived through my teenage years successfully. I mean, who went through high school without having once done something stupid like that on a school night?

But . . .

"I—That sounds great, but I don't think I'm going to be up for something like that," I told him, and it was the truth. I was tired, I was groggy, and I sort of wanted to get _away_ from Edward. Well, not _Edward_, exactly. More like the feelings Edward tended to invoke inside me.

Because I was a coward. And I didn't know what someone in my position was supposed to do next when it came to my . . . friendship? Relationship? . . . with Edward. I had kissed him and he had hinted that he hadn't actually minded the fact that I did. But what was he doing now? Being really nice, sure, but wasn't he always? Had anything changed for him? _He_ was the experienced one, _he_ knew more than I did when it came to antics like this. So shouldn't _he_ be taking the lead? Shouldn't he be showing me in some way what came next?

These were just some of the questions that plagued my mind. And I hated myself more and more for my uncertainty and behaviour. I wanted to be _confident_. I wanted to know . . .

Edward was looking at me, and his expression finally zoned into my consciousness. Something was off. He was looking at me like he was finally showing me his deep scrutinising of my face, my words, my tone, my behaviour. And I didn't like it. It made me feel oddly transparent.

I fought the urge to flinch away from his speculating face, and demanded to know what he was doing. "What?" I asked, trying my best not to sound defensive.

He shook his head, a slight frown creasing his perfect forehead as we came to a stop yet again. At this rate it would be Christmas before we made it out of the cold and into his car.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong?" Edward asked, but he didn't sound snappy; his voice was calm and gentle. Concerned.

I scowled.

"What do you mean? I'm fine," I said, wrapping my coat tighter around my body. "I just don't feel up to pulling an all-nighter."

He waved away my reply. "It's not about your answer to my suggestion, and you know it." He tilted my chin up to meet his watching gaze with one of his long fingers when my eyes began to drop to the ground, forcing eye contact. "Bella, come on," he said, voice strong, resolve brittle. "I'm not an idiot, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out you've been strange all day."

"I—I'm just . . ." Just what? Completely mental around you? What could I say? "What's it to you, anyway?" I asked fiercely, a result of being on guard.

Okay, so not a brilliant idea. I could tell the second the words escaped my mouth. I would've been better off going with the remark that simply left my sanity to be questioned, not my goodness as a person.

I could see the verbal slap in the face right in Edward's eyes, and I felt horrible. His mouthed thinned into a straight line.

"'What's it to me?'" he repeated, sounding incredulous. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," I mumbled quietly. "I'm just—"

"You know full well I care about you. And you don't think that seeing you withdrawn and depressed isn't going to affect me, just the tiniest bit?" He laughed, but it didn't sound like he was very amused. "I thought you were just having a blue day, which is understandable, all things considered, but what I don't understand is your attitude towards me. Have I pissed you off? Is that it? Because I'm trying my best here but it's not like I'm actually getting anywhere."

"What are you talking about?" I exclaimed, slightly breathless from surprise. My fingernails dug sharply into my palm as I tried to get my head around the direction our conversation was taking. "I'm not angry at you, when have I ever said—"

"You don't need to say it, Bella," Edward pointed out. "Is it because I showed up at your work? I'm sorry about that, I didn't think it was that big a deal. I thought it was nice. It's obvious you weren't very happy about it, though."

"No, it _was_ nice," I tried to say, but I didn't even properly convince myself.

A look of realisation hit his features and he immediately took a step back. "I'm smothering you, aren't I?" Edward's expression was impossible to read, but mine wasn't.

"What? No!" What sort of ludicrous thinking was this? I didn't think there was somebody else in the world who could do such a good job of fabricating completely backward conclusions. "What does that even mean?"

"God, I don't even know," Edward muttered, resigned. He pulled his fingers through the strands of his lovely hair again, making it more dishevelled than ever. "I'm just sorry, alright? Sorry for whatever it is."

And I didn't know why, but his stupidly pointless apology caused the spark inside of me to ignite.

"Just shut up, Edward, alright?" I snapped, my voice heated but my body trembling slightly from the cold of the night wind. I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear angrily, trying my best to focus. "Why do you automatically presume my weird mood would have anything to do with you?" I asked wildly, shaking my head. "As if you could have _possibly_ done something to make me mad. That is just ridiculous."

I waited for him to speak, but as my burning eyes stared into his exceptionally emotional, expressive and deep ones, I realised it wasn't his turn. I wasn't finished yet. _I_ was on a roll now, not him.

All I had to do was picture his earnest expression as he tried to blame himself for my own secret and hidden issues, and I had plenty of fuel to work with.

"_If_ you ever _do_ do something wrong, I'd appreciate it if you'd trust me enough to realise that I would inform you of it so you're at least aware I'm upset. I wouldn't go about pretending everything's fine, stringing you along for the sake of it and making you stress over the issue. I'm not cruel. I do apologise, though, Edward, for being a complete mess the past few days but I wish you could just understand!"

He looked at me wordlessly in the dim light one of the few streetlamps dotting the street cast down upon us, his feelings unfathomable and hidden from me. I realised my breath was short and I inhaled deeply, trying to calm down my speeding pulse.

Finally he spoke, but it was one simple line, delivered stiffly, but not yet meanly.

"Understand what?"

"That I'm angry at _me_!" I exclaimed forcefully, realising it was the truth. "Don't you get it? _You're_ not the problem, you never _are_ the problem, it's _me_, it's _always_ me." I was shaking now, incredulous, riled up but also absolutely freezing.

"I don't understand." His voice was clipped. I didn't blame him. But behind that, his eyes were searching my face. I knew he wanted to understand, that he was willing to listen.

And this was where things got hard. Because I still didn't know how to go about saying what I was trying to say.

I took another deep breath. Now wasn't the time to chicken out. Without giving it another single thought, I plunged hastily and desperately into my explanation.

"I—I'm not . . . I don't . . . _know_ what I'm doing," I blurted out clumsily. "With this, I mean," I said, waving my hand between the two of us. Edward didn't move, but I detected a feeling of confusion and hurt behind the surface of his calm demeanour, and I knew I had to explain it better.

"When I'm with you," I tried again, "I'm different. I mean, everything's different. It's like everything is automatically better. And it's nice, really it is, but when I'm _really_ with you, and I look at you, I just . . ." I was getting more and more tangled up with the wrong words. "Usually it's relaxing, being with you, because I don't have to worry about anything or do anything but be me. And I guess it's still like that to some extent now, only I feel so anxious all the time, wondering what's going on with you, what you're really thinking . . . What you really think about me."

The streets were quite as my words filled the empty space between us. I could almost see them sinking in to Edward, feel his brain trying to organise and make sense of them. My voice had gotten pathetically quiet as I uttered my last sentence, and I fought now for more volume.

"What are we, Edward?" I asked blatantly, putting it all finally, _finally_ out there. "Because I am so confused. This whole thing we have going between us is nice but it doesn't seem to be very stable. I mean, it's sort of essential for two people to know where they stand with each other, but with us, everything is just some jumbled mess and the lines are all blurred . . ."

"You want to know how I feel about you?" Edward asked quietly, voice a whisper, and his face was white in the dark and cold but his eyes seemed impossibly bright, his lips warm and full.

I hesitated before answering, because I knew that his answer could possibly be something I wasn't quite after.

"Yes," I said after a pause. "Yes," I said again, more conviction in my tone. "I want to know how you feel about me." I bit my lip, instantly feeling how vulnerable I'd set myself up to be, knowing I'd be blushing normally if it wasn't so darn cold.

So of course I had to hurry to secure things up a bit, delay his answer, because I was trying to buy a few more minutes of time before we faced the inevitable. When I got nervous, words never seemed to fail me.

"Quickly, though," I continued hurriedly in what I hoped was a perky tone, "I just want to really stress the point that I was never upset at you, not once during this week or tonight. And that I really am sorry for how crappy I've been." I was staring right at him, so it wasn't like I missed the amused and gorgeous smile that spread across Edward's face at my anxious chatter, but I didn't stop to think why—like he might actually see through all my rambling distractions. "I just have certain . . . doubts . . . and this entire week just seemed to be one event after the other, except I didn't understand any of them, so that just added onto my pile of stuff to stress, panic and wonder about. And I'm sure to some extent you must be feeling the same way, but you're just so good you don't even show it. Not that you were necessarily _stressing_ over it, that's more my gig . . ."

Edward laughed once, a nice, warm sound that made me more confident in continuing.

"But while you're all worried over me and my behaviour and how _I'm_ feeling, I feel like rubbish because I . . . _was_ so stuck on certain . . . issues that I couldn't seem to be able to express the fact that I'm not entirely self-absorbed and I was . . . am . . . concerned about you, too."

"Bella," Edward said, and he didn't continue, didn't anything else after he uttered my name. But it didn't matter, because the _way_ he spoke my name seemed to speak legions.

My eyes, anxious and round, searched his for any sign of disgust but all I could find was . . . understanding. Warmth.

"I'm not a bitch," I blurted out clumsily.

Edward's face broke into a wider grin as he laughed at me. It was such a lovely thing. "I know, Bella," he assured me. "I just wish you'd let me answer your question, as amusing as your prattling is."

I looked up at him, scrunching my face in consternation. "But . . . I don't know if I actually want to hear what you have to say anymore," I told him seriously. "_How are you feeling_?"

He gave me a smirk, and looked down at his feet for a second before flashing gaze back onto my face. "You don't trust me enough to hear what I have to say? I promise you, I'm not a bitch either."

I smiled because I couldn't help it. "I know you're not! You're lovely, but that doesn't mean I necessarily want to hear things that I might not want to hear. Does that make sense? Just forget about it. Are you still cold, or is it just me? I swear it seems to have warmed up a bit in the last five minutes." Or that could have been because, despite the frigid air, my cheeks had managed to stain red anyway.

I swallowed. "You know what? How about we get going now? You can just erase the past fifteen minutes from your memory completely and I'll pour bleach into my brain so it can fry. Sound like a good plan?" I began to walk eagerly, but Edward's hand snatched out and secured onto my arm, stopping me.

"Not really," Edward said, seeming to be regarding me with not only amusement now but exasperation as he took a step to catch up with me. "Why are freaking out so much?" he asked, making sure he was standing directly in front of me. "I promise, I'm not going to—"

"To say anything? Great," I finished for him, falsely pleased. I clapped my hand together excitedly, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. This had to go down as one of the most embarrassing displays the universe had ever been forced to encounter. "Do you know that Alice is an amazing drawer?" I asked him as I slipped the bag around my shoulder off so I could get out my phone to check the time. I was sure if I had that as evidential proof of how late it was that he would simply _have_ to let this whole thing go and take me home. "Honestly, you'll have to come round one day and look at her drawings, they are just—" As I fumbled around in the dark to feel around in the contents of my bag for my cell, I lost the grip I had on the strap and my bag fell from my fingers, landing on the stone cold sidewalk between mine and Edward's feet. Its contents spilt out from the unzipped opening and fanned out against the concrete.

"_Crap_," I muttered, flustered and embarrassed. I immediately dropped to my knees without a thought, glad I was wearing thick jeans to protect my legs from the hard cold pavement. I couldn't see the objects very well, so I just picked up what I could find and shoved them back into my bag with shaking hands.

Edward knelt down opposite me without a word and began to help.

"I'm so sorry," I apologised, hoping there weren't any loose tampons lying amongst my junk. That would definitely top off this moment. "I'm so _hopeless_."

Edward silently picked up my cell phone and gently handed it to me, and when his fingers brushed mine, I realised his hands were warm. Impossible. Mine were frozen numb.

As I tried to get my hands to unsuccessfully pick up what looked like an eyeliner pencil off the cement—unopened, obviously something Alice had probably slipped in there—Edward interjected calmly and easily plucked it up and chucked it into the bag for me.

I sagged, resigned, giving up. There was no point in pretending anymore, I was a complete mess. Edward had a way of exposing everything inside of me without having to say a single word, and I was just _so tired_.

"Do you know that I am also completely and utterly terrified?" I whispered to the bag in my lap, unable to look Edward in the eye.

"What are you afraid of, Bella?" he asked back quietly, taking the bag away from me and setting it to the side.

I looked up at him slowly, noting how the moon was behind his head in the sky.

"You," I answered, and finally it came out. I stared into his eyes, and for the first time all night, I felt secure in the knowledge they gave me, the feeling of power. "The way you make me feel," I whispered. "The fact that you might—you don't . . . And I don't think I can stand to hear something like that, not from you."

"Mmmmm," Edward exhaled, and then he slowly leant forward to gently press his lovely full lips against my own.

I was frozen still. His action had completely taken me by surprise, so much so that all I could really focus on was the jolting leap of my heart and the taste of shock in my mouth.

Before I could snap my mind into working mode to respond in some way to his advance, or at least make _sense_ of it, the second passed and Edward withdrew, placing his mouth against my ear and whispering in it so his breath tickled me.

"I find it beyond hilarious that the first time you properly let all your inhibitions go and speak freely, I'm waiting desperately for the moment you finally take a breath and shut up."

I laughed once loudly from the shock of it all, high on the nonsensical moment, still trying to compute what had happened because it didn't make any sense.

I could almost feel him smile against my cheek, and then Edward was moving again so he could kiss me for the second time, his lips warm and soft, comforting.

I still found it hard to believe what was happening, but I didn't want to ruin the moment, stop what was happening, because somehow it was perfect. It was perfect despite the fact that we were both kneeling on the hard concrete pavement outside in the cold night air, ignorant of the rest of the world. It was perfect because this was Edward, and that was all that really mattered.

I'd never kissed anyone before, not including the tiny peck I'd given Edward, but the reality that I had no idea what I was doing didn't seem half as important now, here in the moment. That didn't mean I wasn't worried about doing something wrong, though. I just tried my best to relax, finding it increasingly difficult considering there had never been a time before when I had felt so aware of every inch of my body and what it was doing. My hands stayed in my lap, frozen there for the time being, because I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing with them.

Edward's big, warm hands, however, were carefully cradling either side of my face. And it was nice. It made me feel precious, like I was something he cared for and treasured.

When he slowly pulled back up a bit to kiss just under my eyelid, I realised with a shot of startling clarity that my eyes had closed on their own accord during the short amount of time that had lapsed. I opened them gradually, opened them to find his own green eyes staring into mine, shining with a particularly strong emotion.

I smiled at him, sure that it was dopey and dazed and euphoric.

"Still afraid?" he murmured to me quietly as he continued to lightly kiss my face.

"Mmm," I hummed contently when he reached my ear, squirming a bit at the funny noise it made when his lips covered it. Call my stupid, but it tickled.

I wasn't afraid in the slightest any more, and he knew it, too. I hesitantly reached up so I could touch the rough skin of his jaw, making him stop so he could look at me. It felt good, that simple touch, especially since I'd never really touched his face before.

"Thank you," I smiled. "I've never been more in debt to my own craziness before. Who knew it would work out so well?"

Edward chuckled, all calm and warm and yummy. "Trust me," he said, "That would have happened a lot sooner if you'd have allowed me the opportunity. I've been waiting for ages. Not that I'm complaining."

He tilted his head so he could kiss the wrist of my hand that was resting on his face, and it felt good, but I removed it from his reach so I could look into his eyes again.

"Are you serious?" I asked, amazed. "How long is ages?"

I couldn't get over the fact we were having this conversation. It seemed beyond the realm of plausible realities. _Edward Cullen kissed me_. I was sure it was going to sink in sooner rather than later, but I was hoping to be away from Edward when this startling truth hit me; if he witnessed me going into complete and total girly hysterics, I might just chase away the dream of this evening and any possibility that it might ever be repeated. Because it didn't make sense. _Edward Cullen kissed _me. Me, Bella boring, ordinary, amounts-to-nothing Swan. The same Edward Cullen, most popular boy in school. The same Edward Cullen I used to hate, and the same Edward Cullen who I'd slowly grown close to over the past three weeks.

"Does it matter? I don't know," Edward said, like it wasn't important.

I frowned. "Well, yes, it matters to me." The hurt was clear in my voice.

Edward gave me a gorgeous smile and ran his thumb gently along the lines now present in my forehead, smoothing them out. Not that I could really stop smiling for very long around him, not now.

"We'll talk later. C'mon, I need to get you home."

And I sighed, because I knew he was right. I allowed him to help me to my feet, gingerly taking the bag he offered me when he picked it up from the ground.

He took my hand in his firmly, determinedly, indicating that we were going to walk like this no matter what I wanted.

And I didn't object. I didn't say a word as we walked, because my mind was far away, floating around thoughts and delightful memories that all contained this beautiful boy who was with me now.

His hand was warm and soft around mine, strong; it spoke of the promises we had made tonight, some spoken and others merely indicated. And I was going to make sure all those promises were fulfilled.

He wasn't going to get away without telling me exactly how long 'ages' was, and precisely what that did in fact mean.

* * *

-

**Okay, so not as long as I was hoping, but it didn't seem right to add anything else on to this chapter. I found it increasingly difficult to write this one, I must have completely re-written the first five pages at least four times before knowing where I was going with this! The next chapter will explain things in more detail, Edward and Bella will flesh out their relationship and come to terms with where they really stand with each other-in words.**

** Please excuse any problems with my writing if you're not quite happy with it, I lost myself a bit this past month in depression and have only just found my way out.**

**As always, my love goes out to every single one of my readers :)**


	32. Pleased

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

_**A really, really, really quick thank you to Lauraaaaaa who rec'd me ever-so-beautifully a couple of weeks ago. You are lovely. I'm just so sorry this thank you is so rushed.**_

32. Pleased 

I stared up at the plain white ceiling hovering above my head that was nestled comfortably on one of my plush, golden pillows and giggled out loud to myself as the night's events played on a loop in my mind. I was stretched out on my bed, lying on my back as I waited for the giddiness to eventually pass. I would have to black out from exhaustion soon enough, right?

Not that I felt the least bit tired. No, in fact I felt wider awake than I had done this morning, and now it was almost morning again, the very early beginnings of a new day. I'd used sleepiness as an excuse to slink away to my bedroom, but in reality, I'd really just wanted to be able to be alone for a while and reflect on all that had passed.

Everything had changed. At least, I was pretty certain everything had—it certainly had changed a _lot_ for _me_.

Tomorrow when I got to school, I didn't have to worry about how to act or what to say or what to think. I didn't have to worry about weird and strange looks, although I'd probably get my fair share of them anyway. All I really had to concentrate on was Edward, and that was easy now that things had finally morphed and settled and transformed into something solid and understandable and beautiful.

_Beautiful_.

It was a word I had never really used before in reference to myself. I wasn't so emotionally damaged or unsure that I considered myself to be ugly or completely hideous, but there was a big difference between accepting yourself for being the way you were and actually _feeling_ desirable.

Because I did. For the first time in my life, I felt wanted. And that was a true gift, something of immeasurable significance that Edward and given to me without even knowing it.

I felt beautiful. And within that feeling there seemed to be a whole new world existing, one filled with excitement and opportunity and a warm, bright glow.

I'd arrived home, sometime just after ten. The ride in Edward's car before he dropped me off home had seemed impossibly long and somehow terribly short, all at the same time, while I sat next to him, so close and yet so far away. It was a moment of true and heavy contradictions that mixed with my mind. For I also wanted to have some time to myself, think things through and process the impossible . . . And yet, the thought of being separated from Edward for the night was utterly repulsive. Especially _now_.

I exhaled my breath lazily through my mouth, blowing the lone strand of hair resting over my cheek to the side of my face. This was so unreal. I wished I had some permanent way of documenting it all, a way to make sure I did not ever forget one second of this wonderful night, even when I was old and grey.

Alice had been up and waiting when I got in, upbeat music blaring from the confines of her bedroom, flowing through the wide gap of her open door. I'd waltzed straight in, feeling like I was floating and all airy, leaning boisterously up against the bright pink doorjamb with crossed arms. Alice looked up from her desk which she had been bent over, busy drawing again, and instantly knew from my unreal expression _exactly_ what was up.

"Bless thy Lucifer," she breathed, which didn't really make much sense but was a typical Alice-sounding comment, and she'd given me the biggest grin, all girly excitement before rushing up to me and throwing her arms around my waist.

"This is so cool!" she told me enthusiastically. "You have to tell me what happened! It's Edward, isn't it? Of course it is, and this is just so wonderful.

"_Oh my God_, he _proposed_, didn't he?"

Of course, he definitely hadn't, but that didn't matter at all tonight and was probably the first time in history a letdown like that had been discarded so quickly and things were rushed straight back to a jovial reality.

We'd eaten cake, a fresh one Alice had made straight after school while I divulged the reason for this amazing happiness I now possessed. Oh, and naturally, we drank tea. For once I let the words simply pour from my mouth, getting delighted giggles from Alice in response which set myself off into giddy laughter too as I tried to talk around it. Never before had I felt no shame in going all-out with the whimsy and girlish talk. It was refreshing. It was freeing.

I was happy.

I turned over to my side on the bed, breathing in the smell of the fresh pillowcase as I tried my best to ignore the urge to start squirming around. I was so out of my element here, so high up in the clouds, anyone would believe that I had just been rewarded a million dollars. The grin on my face was starting to hurt my cheeks. Every cell in my body seemed changed somehow, altered, and having that thought made me go red in the cheeks for being so melodramatic.

I was pathetic, but still overly happy.

Eventually—I didn't know exactly when it happened—I drifted off into a very deep sleep that sent me spiralling into warmth and comfort, capturing my wholly with its strength. The night grew darker as I grew lighter, not a single worry present in my mind to shake me awake.

* * *

"It's alright," Alice kept saying, her hands fluttering near my face, trying to find a way to help. She lightly flicked a few locks of my hair around, pursing her lips in concentration. "It's alright," she said again.

"Arggh, Alice, I know it is!" I complained, trying to dodge her hovering hands. There was an unhappy frown on my face, and she paused, realising this a little too late.

"Oops, I'm sorry," she said, dropping her hands in defeat.

I shook my head, took a deep breath, and when I let it out I allowed a smile to take form on my lips. "You're okay. Just please, enough with the hair. I don't think the outcome of today is going to change based on the direction of a few lone strands." Hypocritically, I reached up to brush them back behind my ear. There was no way I wanted them annoying me all day, near my face.

Alice gave me a weak smile. "Well I suppose not. Because it's all going to be fine. Honestly, there is _no_ need to worry."

I opened my mouth, but before I could assure her that I was fine and that I agreed with her, she was speaking again.

"I mean, you should just relax and be _happy_, if anything. No need freak out about anything; you and Edward together just makes sense."

"Alice!" I hissed. A few people on the crowded bus we were on glanced in our direction, disinterested but automatically trying to seek out the cause of the noise. I dropped my voice a little lower, not really wanting the attention on the _way_ to school—I was sure I'd get enough of it when I was there.

"What is it?" Alice asked innocently, apparently clueless to my annoyance. I could tell it wasn't put on, either—although just by looking at her, sitting on a vandalised seat, pale and fresh, cute black hair and sparkles, turquoise leggings and pink flats, it was easy to assume she'd be good at convincing anyone, true or not.

"I'm not freaking out!" I pointed out, glad that this was in fact true. I'd had a wonderful sleep, felt alive and energetic in the morning for once, ready to face just about anything. Excitement did that to somebody, apparently. "And you're fussing is what is making me feel more nervous—like I'm weird not to be. I know you're trying to help, but honestly, you're just making me feel like throwing up."

She bit her lip, instantly repentant. "I'm sorry!" she sighed, deflating a bit. "I guess _I'm_ just nervous. I didn't mean to project it onto you."

This took me aback a little. "You're nervous?" I asked, picking up on the key word that was rather unexpected. "What about?"

"About . . . School. Stuff. Jasper," she admitted.

I tilted my head to the side, questioningly. "Has something happened that I'm not aware of?"

"I just—this whole thing that happened between you and Edward last night? That was amazing, and I'm sorry to push my stuff onto it, like it even matters," she hurried to say. "But it just made me realise—it could be so easy to be with Jasper. If you guys could do it—and let me tell you, I was starting to have my doubts if one of you was EVER going to make the first move—than it should be easy."

"And this makes you nervous?"

"No. Well, not _that_ exactly. Just anticipation I guess. For the first time in my life, I'm taking it really slowly with a guy. Normally if I'm into them, I sort of don't really worry about anything else. But it's different with Jazz, you know? I've liked him for ages, I just don't want to rush anything, miss any small details before getting together. And he's so shy. You wouldn't believe it. He's one of those popular boys who are fine around all the guys, smooth and whatnot, and then he's so hesitant around me!"

She laughed good-naturedly, and I gave her a warm smile. "He sounds really nice."

"Oh, he so is," Alice approved. "I just hope I don't die from frustration before he kisses me!"

"Well, you know, you don't have to wait for _him_. I didn't think you had a problem with being the one to instigate something like that." I thought back to the only thing I could really compare it to, how I was technically the first one to—stupidly, at the time—make a move, however small and pitiful and unplanned it was. And this was _me_ we were talking about. You wouldn't think of Alice as the person to even hesitate when it came to doing what she really wanted.

"Sure, that's true," Alice agreed, "But I don't know . . . I sort of like the idea of waiting till he works up the courage. But, who knows? Maybe I'll crack first."

She laughed, and I laughed with her (perhaps a cause of the previously-denied butterflies in my stomach), as we slowly made our way towards our school.

We arrived a few minutes later than normal, but the difference was very slight. As soon as my feet hit the pavement and I walked in stride with my best friend, everything crashed down at me at once and I couldn't help the slight bounce that presented itself as I walked. It was partly due to nerves, partly due to being so happy. And probably partly to do with anxiousness. Why hadn't I made sure Edward promised to meet me somewhere at school? What if I didn't see him before class and had to wait?

Needless to say, the first thing I did was scan across the schoolyard, trying to spot a flash of coppery hair and a devilish smirk so I could be assured everything was going to be alright.

"Wanna head straight for the lockers?" Alice checked with me, obviously noticing my preoccupation as my eyes flittered across the yard and tried to see somebody who clearly wasn't there amongst the other present teenagers.

I shrugged. "Sure, may as well." The bell would go soon, anyway. There wasn't much choice.

I still got a few stray looks, ones that even now I was unable to completely ignore, but I was able to overcome them because they weren't overly hostile; just confused, perhaps a little curious. The types of glances that normally came encumbered by whispered questions and debates that took the form of something like, "_Isn't that girl the same one hanging around Edward Cullen these days? Weird." _It was nothing, nowhere _near_ as demanding as the full-out stares stars such as Edward and his former crew received, however, and I was grateful for this.

_Of course, I'm not half as appealing to look at_, I thought slyly. _And I don't come with any real interesting gossip_.

The first bell rang as soon as Alice and I made it indoors. The ringing sound was just as perpetually annoying as any other day, and I found myself cringing away from the speaker I was walking in close proximity to.

I was also trying to swallow back disappointment. Small or not, there were still a few hundred kids at this school—why was it possible for all of them to be here, but not the one individual I really wanted to see?

Alice gave me an understanding look when we reached our lockers, having successfully woven our way through the clusters of people. She worked on the combination to her lock as she gave me her sympathy.

"Ugh, I almost feel impatient for you. Stupid boys," she muttered as she swung the door open and carelessly chucked her bag inside. "They do something so amazing that you can hardly believe it, and then somehow they lose the progress they were making by forgetting to think in a girl's perspective." She shook her head, the white bow clipped into her hair standing out with startling vividness. "Do you think you should maybe call him? You still have time."

I only had to think about it for a second and my decision was made.

"No," I said. "That would seem a tad obsessive. Besides," I pointed out, "what would I say?"

"How about, 'Hi, where the ever-loving heck _are_ you?'" Alice suggested with a wicked smile. "I honestly don't think your Edward would object, he's so totally dedicated to you. He's probably been held up picking wildflowers for you at the back of the school, sorting them out into complimentary colours and sniffing them to make sure they don't mask your lovely, beautiful scent but add to it inste—"

I swatted her, rolling my eyes as she poked her tongue out at me with a giggle in rebellion.

"Alice?"

The voice almost made her choke on her own laughter. Recovering with grace, she turned around with a burning, disbelieving smile spreading onto her fine features as her eyes took in the tall form behind her, completely towering over her tiny height.

"Oh," she said brightly and I tried my best not to laugh. Serves her right for taking a dig at Edward, who was supposedly the overly dedicated one. Jasper was holding something in his hands.

"Hi, Bella," he said to me politely, giving me a small smile and a slight nod. I raised a hand in greeting back, and then whipped back around, turning away from them to give them what privacy I could offer as I dug through my stack of school books, a hidden smirk on my face.

"How are you?" Alice was asking him, not a trace of surprise left in her voice. She masked her nerves well with almost-overwhelming confidence—that is, if she actually was nervous anymore. I couldn't even tell.

"Great. Fine. Thanks," Jasper replied. I so hoped I wasn't going to hell for listening in on this. It wasn't like I had a choice, right?

Right?

"What about you?"

"I'm really well," Alice emphasised in a bubbly tone. "Considering I have work tonight, I'm glad. Not that I don't like my job, of course. But it's all just sort of amazing."

"You always are," Jasper said quietly. "_Well_, I mean. Um . . ."

"What have you got first?"

Jesus, her confidence really was astounding. I almost felt sorry for Jasper. How could one not feel just a little bit intimidated next to Alice's ease? She must have embraced that part of her a long time ago; it was so powerful and evident that it almost added height to her.

"English. Listen, I just came over so I could give you this," Jasper said, and from the corner of my eye, I saw him pass over the object he'd been holding on to. It was a purse, an oddly familiar one, bright, startling red. Alice's purse.

"Oh my gosh," Alice said, taking it from his large hands. "Thank you. How did—?"

"You left it behind in the cafeteria yesterday," Jasper explained in a rush. "Remember how you said you had your photography class next and that you were using the dark room for prints? And so you left early? Well, this was left on the table. I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you earlier, I tried to find you after school but—"

"No, no, that's fine. Thank you heaps. I didn't even notice it was missing, which shows I have an obvious problem with owning too many possessions. But I kinda already knew that . . . I mean, yesterday, I went out to get some new shoes and I came home with four pairs of identical flats, all in different colours. I couldn't help it! They were on sale, and . . ." Alice trailed off. "Ugh, I'm sorry." She laughed, and it was delightful. "I didn't mean to go off subject like that. And I'm not a shopaholic or anything, either, just so that's clear."

Jasper's smile was lovely. Even I had to appreciate that, and I only could see it in my peripherals.

"You're fine. I just figured you'd need it." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I better get going. Class and all . . ." He was already taking a step back.

"Sure," Alice agreed, and gave him a grin. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah . . ." He gave her a little wave, and then he left.

I took a deep, steady breath, and then turned to face Alice.

She was clutching her purse to her chest with both hands, a look on her face like she was ready to burst.

"Arrrghh!" she exclaimed in a low, drawn-out squeal that didn't carry. "I cannot believe . . . How cute is he? Honestly, trust me to leave something like this behind . . . But then he wanted to give it back to me . . . Did you see how adorable he was when he _smiled_?"

I nodded, cheeks straining against my huge grin. I was so happy to have witnessed something as sweet as that. "Alice, he remembered your exact words before you left to class yesterday. Adorable doesn't even cover it."

She squealed again, but it was so open and honest that you couldn't even fault her for it. "I know, know, and he's not going to be at school next week, I don't how I'm supposed to survive . . ."

"Why, where's he going?" I wondered, closing up my locker, folder tucked securely under my arm.

"He's being suspended," Alice admitted. "Over the whole thing with James, even though it _totally_ wasn't his fault. I mean, that was a bloody beautiful punch! He is such a gentlemen, sticking up for everyone like that . . ."

"Wait, what?" I was confused. I didn't know he'd gotten into trouble too. "Isn't James suspended this week for that?"

Alice nodded. "Yes. And Jasper would've been too, but it clashed with something or other in his classes that couldn't be postponed . . . So the teachers arranged it for next week instead."

"Oh. That . . . sucks."

Alice shrugged, but then said "I know!" rather dramatically.

I looked down at my watch. Yikes.

"Alice . . .?"

"I know!" she repeated again, and then laughed. "Spanish here we come, eh?"

I returned her smile. It didn't even matter to me at that moment that I still hadn't seen Edward. Alice had seen Jasper, and that was almost as good.

Almost.

* * *

The droning monotone of the teacher's instructive voice continued on in the full classroom, but the pace of his words picked up speed as the minute hand on the clock got closer towards the sound of the bell. It was nearly lunch, and you could almost sense the impatience of the kids in class, eyes on the time, just waiting. The teacher knew this, which was why his utterances were becoming almost frenzied, desperate to finish up his point before that time ran out.

I peeked my eyes over to Alice by my side. This was my second class with her today. She had her phone out, underneath her desk, and that secret sort of smile that made it easy for me to guess whom she was corresponding with. Not even Alice, who, despite her passion and enthusiasm, was always a polite and courteous student in the classroom, was able to pay full attention today.

_Hang on a second_, I thought.

_I_ wasn't even paying my full attention, I realised with surprise. How else would I be able to make all this observations with such placid ease?

Perhaps this English class wasn't a particularly exciting one—we'd all been fairly warned before class had properly commenced that we'd be doing a lot of note taking—but still . . . This was so unlike me.

I didn't even jump in my seat when the bell rang loudly from the speaker in the back of the room, I was so expectant of it. Kids immediately began to move, dissolving from their rigid positions and rushing to make their way out the classroom door, even as our weekend homework was shouted out to us, to their already-retreating backs. Alice snapped her phone shut in her hands and looked up at me happily.

"Let's go," she said with a bright smile, gathering her books in her arms.

The hallways were pandemonic; it was like city rush-hour. How it was even possible for this many adolescents to be moving between these two walls at the same time when we were a supposed 'small' school was beyond me. It was just one of those strange, unanswerable facts of life that would never make logical sense, unless students were multiplying during the lunch hour by threes and fours. I highly doubted it, somehow.

"Oooohh, I'm absolutely _dying_ for some crappy, unhealthy cafeteria food that contains high-cholesterol, fatty acids and plenty of laboratory-made chemicals!" Alice proclaimed with a surprising amount of cheer and truth. "Sometimes it's just one of those days, you know?"

She looked at me expectantly, like I was supposed to get what she was going on about. I felt bad, because I really didn't. In fact, I was pretty sure her words had just eradicated any possibility of me eating anything at all this lunchtime.

"Guess who's going to be sitting at our table today?" Alice asked when it was clear I didn't have an answer to her previous question.

"Who?" I wondered, even though I was pretty sure I knew. Like I was going to ruin her answer, though; she was so eager to exclaim it.

"Jasper!" she sung. "He actually texted me to ask permission—like I was going to say no. Like _anyone_ would say no to him. I mean, besides the fact he's really nice and all, just take a second to picture him really shallowly: He is one of the most popular boys at school. _And_ one of the best-looking. Ca-ching!"

Okay, it was clear she was obviously craving preservative-filled food because she'd already eaten a whole lot of it. Her smile was so huge it looked too big to fit on her face.

"Wow," I murmured, a small smile of my own on my face. "I thought you were going to be the last person on the planet to _ever_ say something so superficial about him."

She gave me a patronising look. "Duh. Only I'm allowed to because we both know that my heart is _tooootally_ pure when it comes to Jasper Whitlock. You ever hear anyone else say something so callous about him, let me know, won't 'ya?"

I laughed, and was about to agree when my eyes caught onto something that made them stick, causing my reply to die in my throat. Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, how the hell could I have _possibly_ forgotten for one second what had happened last night?

Edward stood by my locker, casually waiting, looking down at the ground, either completely unaware of all the stares that he was receiving from the student body, or doing a really good job of ignoring them. He hadn't seen me yet. He hadn't seen me yet and he was waiting for me _by my_ _locker_, hair a gorgeous mess and face all beautiful and his wonderful, wonderful body clothed in dark shades that made all his features that more stunning. I mean, did the guy even know that? I didn't think boys thought about stuff like that. He must just be amazingly, yummily ignorant of it all.

And hell, he better have been _really_ ignorant of all the wanting, lingering glances every single female seemed to direct towards him as they slowed down to pass him. _Better_ have been, or I was going to get all sorts of un-Bella-like crazy-jealous.

Alice noticed my . . . distraction? Situation? Realisation? . . . pretty quickly, but it was sort of difficult not to. I'd come to a dead stop in the hall without being aware of the action.

"Ohh, wow," Alice teased me, eyes on Edward now too. "Maybe missing out on seeing him in the morning will be worth it? I wonder what he'll do to make it up . . . Damn, doesn't he look _fine_?"

I snapped my face to hers in a second, a scowl already on my face.

"Ease up!" she laughed, apparently unable to stop the giggle from escaping her grinning mouth. "If only you had reflexes that quickly in P.E. . . ."

"Shut up," I hissed, a sudden nervous mess in my stomach distracting me from feeling the proper embarrassment of having been caught out that way. This was insane. I dropped back a bit, hand on Alice's arm, allowing a group of gossiping girls to provide a nice cover for us as the converged around something one of them was holding. A magazine? Whatever, it didn't even matter.

"What is it?" Alice asked me, lowering her voice and obviously trying her best to be serious, but there was a silly grin all over her face as she said the words.

"I can't—I have to go there, but he's there!" I fretted, clicking two of my fingers together in an anxious gesture.

Yep, she was doing a terrible job as an actor today. Alice giggled, _again_. "Very good Bella," she said, "But what's the problem?"

I was staring at Edward again, the portion of his face that I could see, and I made sure to take in Alice's expression. It was absolutely comical, alive with wicked delight.

"Come on," I pleaded, really impatient. "This is _serious_. I swear I wasn't nervous before. But now? I mean, what am I supposed to even say to him?" I swallowed back the dryness in my throat as best as I could. "This—This is terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible. He's going to expecting . . ."

Expecting what, exactly?

"Expecting what?" Alice interjected, clearly having some sort of freakish access to my thoughts. "It's just Edward, Bella," she reminded me gently. "He's just a boy. He's just a boy, a nice, sweet and _really_ hot boy . . ." She cleared her throat—I was pretty sure she hadn't meant to go down that road. Shaking her head, she grasped my shoulder with both her hands, levelling her face with mine so I was forced to look into her open eyes.

"Listen, Bella," she began again, and she was finally, finally serious. She spoke slowly, methodically, clearly, making sure I didn't miss a word. "The only thing that has changed now from every other day is _one_ _thing_, and it's a _good_ change, okay? Edward kissed you. That is a _good thing_. I know how you work by now, and I swear, convincing yourself because you're scared that it was something bad and a mistake is not going to help. You'll only become miserable. You know this. You do, Bella. And I'm telling you know, he won't be expecting anything. Remember the key thing here? _Edward_ kissed _you_. Which obviously means that _Edward_ _wanted_ _to kiss_ _you_. Let _him_ figure it out."

I stared at her. I stared at her, long and hard. Slowly, I nodded. "Right," I said, swallowing again.

Suddenly, Alice was back to her normal, cheerful state. "So, make sure you pummel it into him for keeping you waiting this morning, alright, sunshine?" Her smile was bright and angelic. "And have fun! Be yourself, remember to smile . . . I'll see you soon, Bella." She squeezed my shoulders and then dropped her hands, stepping away.

"_Where are you going_?"

The desperate question came out with a pitiful amount of intensity. Why was she stepping back? Shouldn't she be stepping closer to me, if anything, offering me support? She couldn't leave. She couldn't just leave me here—

"I've got a lunch date, remember?" she said, and was slowly walking backwards, away from me. I felt so frantic I had half a mind to reach out and grab her, pull her back. She clapped her hands together in obvious excitement, and then turned with a little skip in her step, bopping away towards the cafeteria. I watched her go, aghast.

She'd seriously just left me. My best friend, deserting me in a moment of need. I knew it was better to operate alone in life. See where trust got you? Absolutely nowhere.

I just stood to the side of the hallway, feeling awkward and idiotic. The girls in front of me, Juniors, obviously, were slowly dispersing, and I knew I couldn't just stand here, alone, on this spot of linoleum, leaning from foot to foot in anxiousness, probably looking like I needed to pee, forever. No, I had to keep moving.

_Arrrggghhh_, but how I didn't want to. I was so pathetic. Here went nothing, right?

I stepped around the group, accidently brushing one of them as I tried to pass them, earning myself a nasty look over the shoulder and another flustered hit on the awkwardness of this moment. I was such a mess. Why would anyone want to wait by my locker when this was what they got? I was scared I'd forgotten how to speak English.

I didn't stop to say sorry, I didn't think I had it in me. I kept walking. Slowly, of course. So slow, I was almost walking backwards. But I didn't want to make heaps of noise and have him look up at me, did I? The only thing worse than having to approach him by myself was having to approach him by myself while he stared at me doing it. Ugh.

The one bit of luck I had on my side was that my procrastination meant that there were less kids hanging about the place. Less of an audience for my humiliation. Excellent.

As I got closer, I could see his face better. And I felt a touching sense of awe to realise that Edward would have had to have been waiting there, looking good, just standing like he had all the time in the world, for at least fifteen minutes in order to meet me at my locker. Talk about sweet.

Of course, I couldn't keep walking towards him forever. Eventually, when I was just a few footsteps away from him and having problems breathing, he glanced up and met my anxious brown eyes with warm and deep green ones.

The most amazing smile I have ever seen, _ever_ in my whole entire life, spread across his face as he took me in, recognition melting his features into a soft and lovely expression that made a small part of me melt inside. It helped, ever so slightly, to ease my nerves—I couldn't really be that much of a mess if he was looking at me like that, could I?

"Hey," he said, that grin only growing bigger. He straightened up, pushed off against the wall so he could step closer to me. He was right there, right in front of me, and I looked up at him, glad that I was able to smile back. It was automatic, done without thinking.

"Hi," I said quietly back, and then I was worried for a moment that there was going to be one of those awkward pauses where nobody knows what to say. But my worry was silly. I was with Edward. There was never any awkwardness.

He reached out and took my hand, casually, smoothly. It made me feel warmer all over, lighter within. "Talk about keeping a guy waiting," he remarked, one corner of his lips lifted up higher than the other. "I was worried you'd gotten lost."

I laughed, breathless and relieved. This was easy. I couldn't believe I'd actually wasted precious minutes fretting when I could have been with him sooner.

"Sorry," I said. "I was with Alice. I didn't know you where here! I looked for you this morning but—"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," Edward apologised. "I woke up at ten. Almost had a heart attack, I slept _completely_ through my alarm . . . I couldn't believe it that it happened today of all days."

Was he insinuating anything? Was he insinuating what I thought he was? This was so unbelievably magical. I didn't even care that I was sighing inwardly like one of those stupid, moronic girls with a crush. I was so beyond caring about anything.

I looked at his face, so close to it now and that was a relief in itself. "You look a bit tired," I noted. And he did. He also looked utterly gorgeous, but it wasn't like I was about to admit to that. There were slight shadows underneath his eyes, giving himself away.

"I stayed up a little too late," he told me, a glint in his eye. "I didn't realise the time."

Oh, please be because of me. I would do anything if only that was because of me.

Of course, my stomach decided to interrupt the wonderful moment by growling an embarrassingly long gurgle. My spare hand immediately went down to place over my belly; my cheeks went a little pink. "Sorry!" I said. "That's humiliating. I guess I'm hungry."

Well, you know, it was sort of obvious but I still felt the need to explain.

"Let's go, then," Edward said, nodding his head down towards my English books still tucked under my arm, a small reminder.

I quickly disposed of them in my locker, like it was some sort of Olympic event. My face was still tinted a pale red as I entered the cafeteria, hand in hand with Edward, but I realised that I didn't care. I wasn't even aware of the glances our entwined hands received; I was aware of one thing, and one thing only.

That was him, and the small group of my friends who looked up to watch us walk towards them with different expression on their faces, ranging from pleased to amused to surprised. Alice caught my eye, sitting very, very close to Jasper, and her smile was the widest.

Today was just about the best day I'd ever had at high school.


	33. Date

**Alright, this is kind of scary. First of all, I am so ****unbelievably**** apologetic to everyone who reads this for having such a colossal gap between updates. I'm a loud and busy teenager who gallivants around the place, socialises, gets awfully depressed (more and more as of late) and is drowning in homework and is actually starting to naively think that going to Uni has got to be easier than what I'm going through currently (and I have eight years ahead of me with that. Ugh). Sorry. **

**To make it up a teeny little bit, this chapter is almost twice as long as my normal ones. This one goes out to all the people who have "fat" ugly days where frumping around the house seems to be just about all you're capable of. I seem to be stuck in a rut with that at the moment. **

**Do enjoy :)**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

**33. Date**

Was this even real? I didn't think it was possible to be this happy during school. I mean, we were _at school_. That word made me picture stacks of books and hours of homework and crowds of insecurities. So how could this feeling be a reality?

It didn't make sense. I, for one, shouldn't feel so comfortable. Not here, amidst a messy and jumbled group of friends who were all mismatched and odd but somehow fitted together perfectly. I shouldn't _belong_ here, but I really did.

Here, with my hand still held in the warm of grasp of Edward's, underneath the cafeteria table and hidden away from prying eyes. Here, opposite my best friend, who was discussing animatedly the pros and cons of processed food with her long-time love interest. Here, with Jasper staring at her, apparently absorbed, even if he didn't know what she was actually saying. Here, with all my other friends, Angela and Ben, Tyler and Mike, and even Jessica.

Here we all belonged, in our own private and happy little bubble. It was awesome.

The last two names on the list didn't even bother me. Mike, for the most part, was quiet, but he did contribute and he tried his best to sound polite and humble. I guess he was a good guy, he just had a flare for histrionics when it came to his wounded ego. In that respect, Jessica and him were perfectly matched. I didn't know if she was simply at this table because it seemed to be the table to be at—could so many eyes really be on us?—or if she genuinely felt like she wanted to interact with us. It didn't matter. She was part of the old group and so it seemed right.

"Can we hang out tonight?" Edward asked me quietly when Ben had finished his short conversation with him and had switched his attention back to Angela. For the minute, neither of us was being stared at.

He leant in when he posed the question, and his closeness felt wonderful. I could hardly believe that he had been closer still to my face before—I mean, we had kissed, right? And that indicated a nearer proximity. When it happened, I hadn't thought of it. Now, some sixteen hours later, it seemed somehow impossible.

I turned my head to him and smiled. "Sounds good," I told him.

"You don't have another one of those random and sporadic work shifts tonight?" he wondered.

"No," I laughed quietly.

"Just checking," he murmured. "I wouldn't want to have to bug you at work again."

"Hey lovebirds, guess what?" Alice interrupted rather loudly, leaning forwards in her seat and throwing the straw from her drink at my face. I couldn't believe she actually managed to get it to hit me on the side of the face; it came with a small splatter of water and I almost squeaked embarrassingly in surprise.

"What?" Edward said, but it was more a chuckle—he was trying his best not to laugh at my expression. He passed me a serviette without a word and I took it, hoping to God the wetness on my face didn't contain some of her spit.

"My design for the feature wall at the hairdressers has been accepted!" she exclaimed with a bit of a jiggle in her seat. "I just got confirmation now. Is that not _brilliant_?"

"You mean at your work, right?" Ben asked. Alice had gotten just about the whole table's attention.

"That's fantastic!" Angela said. "I wish exciting stuff like that happened to me. Are you the one painting it?"

"I don't know yet," Alice said, "But I assume so. I am like the modern day Leonardo DiCaprio, after all."

"Leonardo Da_Vinci_," corrected Mike, but he didn't say it meanly.

"I know, I'm not stupid!" Alice insisted with a hint of defensiveness. "I'd just much prefer being compared to _Caprio_ because he's much better looking. _Plus_, he's got amazing acting credibility. Anyway, the point is, I have a massive capacity for creativity and it would be a shame if they don't use it by appointing me head-painter. I am skilled, after all."

"You are," I agreed, throwing the used serviette onto the table. "How you managed to throw a _straw_ so perfectly is beyond me."

She gave me an angelic smile, ignoring the sarcasm. "Why thank you, Dearest Bella. You're observation has deeply touched my soul."

"So when's this 'new wall' going to make its appearance?" wondered Angela.

"In a month. Thirty-one days and seven-hundred and forty-four hours and forty-four thousand, six-hundred and forty _minutes_ . . ."

"How the heck did you work that out?" Tyler asked, finally submerging from his food long enough to give Alice an incredulous stare. Maths was not Tyler's speciality.

"I worked it out beforehand," Alice replied with a roll of her eyes. "Of course, there's also a chance that it could happen in _thirty_ days instead, which means it would be seven-hundred and twenty hours and forty-three thousand, two-hundred—"

"We get the picture," Ben smoothly interjected with a smile.

Alice sat back in her seat in satisfaction.

Jasper, who had simply been looking at her during the last few minutes without fail, engaged her again in a quite conversation, a sweet, shy smile on his face. I watched them absent-mindedly from the corner of my eye, glad the two seemed to have reached a calm companionship together.

"This is really nice," Angela commented after a moment more, amusedly pushing over the remains of her food to Ben, aware that he'd been eying them. He began eating immediately with a grateful grunt of acknowledgement that made me laugh. "This, I mean," she clarified, waving her hand at everyone in one sweeping gesture. "Not the food."

"It is," I agreed whole-heartedly, scrunching my nose up at Ben when he offered me the cafeteria provisions he was consuming.

"I was just thinking: it's a shame we don't all hang out any more. When's the last time we got together outside of school? I can't even remember."

Angela's remark made everyone stop for a second, considering what she had to say. I was pretty sure everybody was thinking along the same lines as me: it had to have been months.

"You're right," Jessica piped up suddenly, her jaws chewing away at the gum she had in her mouth. "We are so boring together as a group. I don't know what people think of us."

That comment may have been directed towards Edward—_may_ have been. There was a fair chance I was just being overly sensitive, but I was pretty sure she had said it to convey that she, herself, was not a fan of bore at all.

As if anyone would be worried about that.

"It's just been busy and stuff," Tyler grumbled. "I have so much schoolwork . . ."

Ben snorted, apparently taking a break from eating. "Schoolwork you never do," he pointed out.

"I just reckon we should organise a get-together or something," Angela said quickly, obviously wanting to cut short the argument that was sure to ensue between the boys if left to continue. "Are people busy this weekend?"

"Yes," Alice said, joining in the current conversation. "We just finished discussing my working-girl fame two minutes ago! People have hair, and people need that hair to be cut. It's a mathematical equation of life. I have a shift," she explained.

"Sunday?"

"Sunday's . . . out." My voice, which had begun in a loud tone, finished the very short sentence off in a mere mumble. I didn't really want to bring up what I'd just basically brought up. Sunday was Edward's grandfather's funeral, and he'd asked me to go with him to it. That was easy enough, but I didn't know if it was something Edward wanted others to know about.

"I mean," I continued hurriedly after a pause that probably only felt awkward to me, "I'm busy. I'm busy . . . right?" I flicked my eyes to Edward, who nodded quickly and obediently when he realised I was awaiting confirmation. I looked back at Angela. "Not that that means anything really. You can hold something on that day without us. It's going to be hard to organise something that fits everyone's schedule."

She twisted her lips. "Aw, but I want you guys there!"

"Next weekend," Mike decided. "Next weekend. And we are going to . . ."

"Go to the movies!" squealed Alice. She sucked in a deep breath, alive and animated. "I mean, please can we go to the movies? I haven't been in ages and there's this show on that I _really really really_ want to watch and then there's also this other one that looks promising, it had good reviews and . . ."

"Movies it is!" Angela cut in quickly with force whilst Ben choked on a laugh. Nobody could really say no to such enthusiasm.

"Goody." Alice beamed. She tugged on Jasper's arm. "You're coming, by the way. I've committed you to the outing already."

Nobody heard any objections escape him by any means.

The rest of lunch passed in a similar fashion. It was so . . . adolescent, I suppose, the light, chattering banter and poorly-delivered jokes. But I couldn't find a fault in that at all. It made me feel comfortable and settled and grounded.

Like I knew where I fitted in.

Biology was tons better than it ever had been before. The teacher was bright and smart and most importantly enthusiastic—our theory was in-depth and interesting, and the prac we completed that lesson actually had a point to it. It was nothing like the drab our old teacher made us put up with.

You could tell who was into this subject and who had been using it as a bludge subject from their attitudes to this new change. The ones who had looked forward to this lesson as a gossip session all had dark scowls on their faces—anyone caught lingering, doing something different than instructed, was immediately in trouble.

And, the fact that I had the best, smartest and most wonderful lab partner in the world, helped put that smile on my face, too.

Edward was lovely. I'm sure everyone picked up on my change in spirits—I was so sky-high with joy that I barely noticed all the attention we were getting. Edward was equally oblivious, or maybe he was just used to it so he didn't give it a thought. Either way, it was like nobody else really existed outside of us. I would laugh loudly when he said something funny; we would give each other secret little looks that were probably really obvious to the rest of the world looking in—neither of us was good at being subtle. And it didn't matter. I couldn't have cared less what sort of scandalous gossip this was creating. I was happy.

Even the teacher, when she passed by our desk to overlook our work progress (the sheet we needed to have filled out by the end of the lesson sat, forgotten in its completion, on the edge of the table) simply raised her eyebrows, a slight tugging of the corner of her mouth threatening to lift up in a smile as Edward, showing his maturity, poked my sides with a pencil and I tried to get him to stop.

In fact, I was so joyous that it made it hard for me to realise that not everybody else was as cheerful as me.

When I went up to the front desk to hand in the worksheet that Edward and I had managed to finish off twenty minutes early, I inhaled in surprise when the girl in front of me, standing in the middle of the isle, took a step backwards, consequently stepping on my toe.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she began to say, whirling around in equal surprise as me as we almost managed to trip each other over.

When our eyes met, an awkward silence ensued.

Lauren Mallory, an embarrassed expression frozen on her face, took me in with her light, crystal blue eyes and I watched as a rush of pink spread over her cheeks. We stared at one another for a second, unsure what to say.

She looked really uncomfortable. Not that I could really blame her. She was annoying and shallow and stupid, but not evil enough like Tanya to feel completely confident and justified in the face of the girl she'd sneakily tried to humiliate. At least she knew what she had done with those pictures of me was petty and wrong. That was something.

The thing that took my aback was that her eyes were also shining; almost like she had been on the verge of tears.

I had no response for her. I had nothing. She blinked rather rapidly and then, clearing her throat, took a large step away from me. Lifting her chin up in the air, she looked down at me and the traces of sadness left her face completely, spite taking its place. _This_ expression I was slightly more familiar with.

"Hm," was all she said primly, and then she turned away from me and walked off to the other side of the classroom.

Slightly disturbed by the encounter, I handed the sheet in at the front without so much as glancing at the teacher and returned back to my seat, deep in thought. Edward was there, always a comfort, but he was talking to some other guy behind our desk, and I figured he hadn't seen what had occurred. Ten other people were watching their conversation with wide-eyed interest. I was ignored by them for the minute, not in the immediate spotlight being next to Edward gave you.

"I'll come round to yours after school?" he checked with me when the bell for the end of the class went. I wouldn't see him again at school today unless I waited for him after class, and we'd both decided it was just easier if we skipped over the five-minute meet-up at the end of school that always made me late for my bus. Not that the five minutes weren't wanted; it was scary to admit that I would probably do just about anything to see him for a simple five minutes these days.

"Sure," I said with a grateful smile. Hopefully tonight would be just as relaxed and happy-filled as today. We didn't need any more silly angst like the night before had been filled with.

And then, much to my completely shock and surprise, Edward grinned and leaned down so he could lightly touch his mouth to mine.

It was chaste, but I hadn't been expecting it. I wasn't really quite sure what to expect at all. Plus, we were in a hall full of people so something like that was very stupid if it wasn't supposed to mean something.

Cheeks all red and hot and now in a total fluster, I gave a dazed wave to Edward as he turned—his grin now a gorgeous smirk—and gracefully went off to his next class.

I stayed behind for a minute, simply watching his retreat, before reality crashed down on me and I shook myself awake. Tonight was going to be great, even if we just ended up doing the homework the inner nerd inside me wanted to complete. As long as I was with him, how could it be anything but?

* * *

Alice stuck her head through the gap in my door, a lovely little smile on her face as her eyes found my form straight away.

"Hey!" she said, the smile slowly turning into a grin.

She'd caught me. I looked at her, slightly embarrassed at the pathetic display I was sure I was giving.

I was standing in front of the full-length mirror that was stuck to the back of my closet door, with my hands on my hips and a scrutinising frown of my face. I _had_ been staring at my reflection, but now I was just staring into the amused eyes of my friend. The hands on my hips slipped down until they were resting at my sides in defeat.

I was expecting Alice to make a comment that was sure to embarrass me further—something with intended niceness that I would just find humiliating. Instead, she seemed to intuitively know this was a sensitive spot for me, and didn't even mention anything about my frazzled state.

"I've just called my parents—I'm going round to there's for dinner tonight," she told me brightly, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Shutting the closet door so the mirror was safely tucked away, I walked over to her and tried to focus on what she was saying—it was more important that worrying over my appearance, and certainly more productive anyhow.

"You're leaving now?" I checked with her, because she looked like half her mind was already out the door and into the open world.

"Yeah," she said. "I hope you don't mind. I know you wanted to go with me next time I saw them, but this was totally unplanned and came out of nowhere. Plus, it's not like they live in another state or anything!" she laughed, which was a clear reference to my mother.

Oops. That reminded me that I'd neglected to call her for the past few days after our trip, like I'd promised.

I was so not looking forward to that conversation. A baby . . . _Ugh_.

"They 'give you their love' anyway," Alice continued, obviously not guessing the direction my thoughts had taken, "and we can go back around next week. The luckiness of having such loving parents! They can't get enough of me." She gave a smile, clearing trying to say, "_Well, who would_?"

Definitely not Jasper, I thought wryly.

"So it that okay? You don't need me for anything, do you?" she wondered, a kind expression on her face as she swung my door back and forth with her hand absentmindedly.

I shook my head. "Are you kidding? I'm overjoyed I'll finally have some time _without_ you bugging me! No Alice for an entire evening—the stars must finally be in my favour."

My teasing prompted Alice to go a step further, like always. She was always up for a little competition at the smallest coaxing. The wicked smirk my lips had formed was wiped off my face completely with her reply.

"Oh, I agree," she said in a dangerously suggestive tone. "And you'll have such a _splendid_ night with Edward. Remember to keep it _clean_, won't you?" And she skipped back out of my room without giving me the chance to splutter a response.

"Hey, come back!" I yelled, rushing out of the room after her, utterly outraged . . . and perhaps a little embarrassed. "You're not allowed to say stuff like that to me!"

Alice was amidst laughter like a little girl at a fair ground. She was delighted to be getting the response from me. "I so am," she disagreed, grabbing her keys from on top of the microwave as she readied herself to leave. "Oh, _Edward_," she sighed dramatically, and very, very loudly. "I love you, _Edward_. Please touch me, _Edward_!"

"Shut up!" I squeaked, mortified as Alice snickered and reached the door. She slipped out in one smooth movement and had the door closed in another, leaving me standing in the living area like an idiot. An idiot flushed ten shades of red.

"Pervert!" I bellowed out after her, making myself feel a little better.

I remained standing there for another minute, calming down my heart. Oh, she played dirty. That was so not fair. I knew for a fact now that as soon as I saw Edward I would go an even brighter red—and no doubt he would want to know why.

I stood there for a few more seconds before I realised that I probably should do something. I was frazzled enough as it was, nerves and anticipation now mixed with the feelings Alice's ruthless teasing had caused. A distraction of any sort would be good.

The next twenty minutes passed somewhat smoothly when I returned to the confines of my bedroom and occupied the empty space that was there waiting for me. I'd originally tried to sit on the edge of my bed with a book, and loose myself to the story the pages were trying desperately to tell, but I was too restless; after re-reading the first paragraph three times, I gave up. So now I was busying myself with a new occupation: sorting out my closet.

Don't get me wrong—my closet was _nothing_ like the bombshell mass colour-explosion that Alice's was. In fact, I considered it somewhat organised and efficient. The problem I had with my wardrobe was that it didn't contain simply clothing. (I knew Alice's didn't either—hers also possessed a scary amount of bags and belts and scarves and whatever other necessary accessories she'd accumulated on a 'must have' agenda.) Mine was stuffed with a few boxes on the shelves and floors, filled with odd knick-knacks that didn't fit inside my room. And I had a lot of miscellaneous stuff. It was actually sort of embarrassing. I grew sentimental over the strangest things—and sorting through a collection of dusty buttons, a hoard of old school textbooks I hadn't done anything with, two pairs of shoes that were my mothers and didn't even fit me, and a bag filled with plastic hair accessories I must have used in pre-school, proved my insanity well.

I was relieved when the buzzer went off. Relieved, and also eager. Something inside my leapt as I rushed towards the door.

"Come on up," I told him as I buzzed him through, knowing for certain it was definitely him. The only other person likely to drop by would be Alice trying to play a mean trick on me by pretending to be Edward, and she'd been gone for too long for that to be a possibility.

The minute it took for him to reach the door had me all sorts of nervous. I didn't think I was ever going to get the hang of this whole thing—being with Edward was far too surreal.

He knocked on the door three times, and I marvelled at the ease in which he did. It sounded impossible and just the tiniest bit silly, but Edward was able to turn something as ridiculous as doorknocking into an action that just oozed causality and cool. Or maybe I only felt that way, and it was a clear sign of just how far into the deep end I really was.

Opening the door and seeing him standing behind it, waiting and expectant, made the smile spread across my face.

"Hey," I said happily, because I truly was. Happy and contented and anxious and excited. I was turning into such a girl.

"What's up?" Edward replied, and normally I would have snorted at such a response—but this was Edward, remember? So it sounded natural. Natural and good.

"Nothing," I told him truthfully.

Apparently my tone conveyed the honesty of my answer; Edward's face broke into a grin and suddenly I didn't feel quite so stupid.

"Wanna come in?" I offered, opening the door wider so he could pass through. He had to duck a little to get under my outstretched arm, but he acquiesced nonetheless. Dressed the same as he had been today at school, minus the jacket, I was able to admire with incredulity the perfect fit of his shirt. I couldn't fathom how it was possible I'd seen him roughly an hour ago. It felt like a new day entirely.

He began talking as soon as he was inside, turning around to face me again with bright eyes and a fresh smile.

"I was just thinking," he began, "as long as you don't have anything super important to get done, do you want to go somewhere?"

I didn't really have to weigh this one up. "Sure," I agreed straight away. "That's probably a better idea than just hanging around here anyway." I looked around the room, noting the cushions from the couch scattered across the floor, the pair of dirty mugs on the table, the dishes I could see from my peripherals in the kitchen. Going out somewhere else seemed like a fantastic proposal.

"Good." Edward's grin grew impossibly larger. I wanted to bathe in it. He seemed genuinely pleased that I'd agreed so easily. "You don't mind leaving now?"

I shook my head quickly. "Absolutely not, that's fine. Alice's gone out to see her parents anyway."

"Good," Edward repeated. "I want to take you somewhere."

* * *

I didn't ask straight away where we were headed off to as Edward drove through Forks' small collection of streets. I was content enough to simply sit by his side in his car, revelling in the feeling of calm and safety I felt in his presence. Eventually, though, when the streets turned into roads and I could no longer tell with my eyes closed what direction we were headed towards, I did ask.

"So where are you so eager to go?" I wondered aloud, eyes on the rubix cube I'd picked up off the floor of the car as I half-heartedly twisted it in my hands. It looked old and neglected. Fair enough—I lost interest in these pretty quickly too.

"There's a place outside of town I want to check out," Edward replied without glancing in my direction. Charlie would be pretty pleased at his behaviour. Sure, Edward seemed to like driving fast, but he was good at what he did; I felt comfort in the fact that unlike my mother, he spent more time looking at the road than at me.

"Let me guess," I said with the beginnings of a smile. "Is it some wicked huge music store?"

Edward chuckled, but shook his head in disagreement. "Definitely not. Wouldn't you be bored out of your mind?"

"Depends on what sort of music shopper you are," I told him truthfully. "If you're happy to check in and check out, I don't think it would've been a problem."

"Ah," he said, "And that's _exactly_ why I refuse to go shopping for music with you."

"So where are we going then?" I smiled, turning my head to look at Edward's profile. He met my eye briefly with a smile of his own.

"I'm taking you out to dinner," he divulged casually, smoothly sliding into the next lane over.

I think I momentarily forgot how to breathe.

"Wait, what?" I got out in my surprise, my voice pitched an octave higher than normal. The rubix cube fell from my hands, forgotten and disregarded. "Do you want to run that by me again?"

I stared at his face, feeling like some sort of retarded fish with the way my mouth was gaping open like an unresponsive idiot.

"We need to eat, right?" he said.

"No," I answered immediately. I shook my head back and forth. "No, no, I don't eat."

"Don't be silly," he chuckled, looking amused. What part of my shock was the slightest bit _amusing_? I quickly snapped my mouth shut, paranoid now.

"So, what," I began, trying to piece the absurdity of it all together in my head. "You're taking me . . . We're going on, like . . . a date?" The word came like something dirty, even though I hadn't intended for that sort of delivery. It was just sort of . . . automatic.

Edward didn't answer, and that made me fret.

For the love of God, why was this happening to me now? Just when things were settling down, too, he had to turn it all around again and make a big deal out of something that should just be _normal_. Natural. What did I know about first dates? Absolutely nothing, that was what. By 'taking me to dinner' did he mean something quick and easy like fast-food, or was he going to turn around and take me to the type of palace you'd expect the Queen to dine out in?

What was I suppose to _say_, anyway? And how was I supposed to pay for this meal? I'd brought my wallet, sure, but there was no way I was going to be prepared to fork over a small fortune when Edward steered me along to some fancy-arse restaurant that used individualised linen serviettes. Or would he pay for me? That didn't seem quite right either. And then there was—"

"Edward," I said immediately, a realisation dawning on me. "_Argh_, would you say something?" I exclaimed, probably taking him aback somewhat by the forcefulness of my tone as I decided I wasn't quite ready yet to ask him about my new query.

I hadn't intended to sound so crazed, honest.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, and I felt a flickering of fury by the way he looked like he was trying not to laugh. He let one chuckle slip, but when his eyes met my annoyed face for a brief second, they returned to the road instantly and a serious—and somewhat forced—demeanour took over.

"I just thought I'd go somewhere with you to eat," he explained, sounding a bit confused. "I didn't think it was a big deal, I'm a bit unsure of why you're reacting so surprised." His face smoothed out, the corners of his lips turned up. "Not that it's not a bit entertaining," he added, and his eyes sort of burned this times when they met my face.

I blushed, calming down in one respect and feeling my heart speed up with an entirely different emotion.

"What's worrying you, exactly?" Edward asked me kindly, patience evident in his tone.

God, I was hung up on a teenage boy who sometimes channelled the charm and practicality of someone old and mellow. How utterly absurd he seemed somewhat interested in someone as frazzled and frumpy as a widowed granny. Some pair we made.

"I just—I don't know," I admitted quite stupidly. Finally, a let myself laugh, because what else was I supposed to do? I'd just gone through a rollercoaster of emotions in the past two minutes that would rival my History teacher going through PMS. "I think I just feel weird about it, I suppose," I explained. "If that wasn't already clear."

"It's not like it's a big deal," he told me, reaching with one of his hands to find one of my curled fists. He held my hand in his gently, resting them against my knee. "If you really don't want to go, we can do something else."

"You don't mind starving to death?" I asked sceptically.

Edward snorted. "Look, I know I'm a guy, and I know _you_ know I love food, but even _I_ don't believe delaying one meal is going to kill me. Or you, for that matter."

"I'm not dressed for going out," I confessed in a rush, letting the nagging worry be voiced as quickly as possible, hoping he didn't think badly of me for saying it.

Edward looked at me a little longer this time, squeezing our entwined hands. The smile he gave me was so warm it heated up my insides like fire. "Trust me," he said slowly, "You don't need to change a thing. You look beautiful."

His comment made me go all shy; I turned my head away to stare outside the window, curling my chin in towards my shoulder. Nobody had ever called me beautiful before. Not like that. The way he said it made me almost believe him, and that made me feel both frightened and daring.

The silence that followed seemed to spark with flowing energy, filled with all sorts of unsaid things. It was a nice sort of silence, brimmed to the point of overflow with secrets and comfort and a certain form of knowledge. We both didn't put a name to any of it, just sat contently amongst it all as the sky gradually began to grow dark.

Eventually, we began to pass more buildings. Not that I really went out into town a lot or anything, but I _did_ know Port Angeles when I saw it—and I wasn't familiar with this scenery at all. Instead of asking where we were like some sane, normal person, I just went with the flow and decided to keep my mouth shut. Did it even really matter? To be honest, he could've taken me just about anywhere and I wouldn't have cared.

Edward slowed the car down after another moment, and easily found a space to park the car, despite the hour of evening. I guess those sort of things just worked out for him. He turned the engine off, and I relaxed back into my seat, noticing how I let my breath out, unaware that I had been breathing shallowly, when the car's quiet engine no longer filled the background noise.

Edward's hand moved in my own, and I realised then that I'd almost forgotten we were holding hands. Not that something like that was easily forgettable—not doubt when I was old and grey I would be able to recall with perfect clarity the exact _temperature_ of his hands—but it just felt so comfortable.

"So what's it going to be then?" he asked quietly into the sudden stillness. "Are you hungry, or are we going to hit the streets and find something else to do?"

It took me a moment to answer, because I was mesmerised by the way Edward was running his long fingers gently up and down the back of my hand in small lines, and by the way it felt. I forced myself to stop staring and looked up at him. When our eyes locked, he was smiling just the slightest, giving me clear indication that he'd guessed the reason behind my preoccupation.

He didn't stop, though. And that special smile kept my eyes in place.

I swallowed loudly. "Uh . . . What would you prefer?" Because I was honestly _that_ pathetic.

Edward's smile turned into the smirk I was so familiar with. "Scared to make a decision, hey?" he teased, and that allowed me to snap out of my slight haze in order to roll my eyes at him.

"I'm completely happy to go with whatever you choose," he informed me, sounding sincere and also happy. "My one condition is that we do something together—unless that's going to disappoint you, in which case I'm a little unsure of why you're sitting in my car with me."

I smiled. "You're in luck, then, because it so happens that I don't mind doing something with you."

"Everything's good, then."

"Sure."

There was a pause; then Edward laughed.

"And to think you were making _me_ feel like a freak for spending so much time picking out music!"

"Leave me alone!" I grumbled. "I never said I was snappy at making decisions; you should see me in a bookstore."

"Come on," Edward said, sounding decisive. He lightly squeezed my hand before letting it go. "I'm taking you out to dinner whether you like it or not."

"It's not that I wouldn't like it," I said truthfully, "It's just I don't think I'd be any good at it."

I was beyond relieved that Edward didn't laugh. He seemed to know perfectly when to act a certain way with me, when to joke, when to be serious. I guess it just showed how perfectly in sink we were.

To have him laugh would have absolutely mortified me, possibly for many years to come. Being honest and letting him hear all my pathetic worries was sometimes a little nerve-racking. He always treated them well though.

"You don't have to do anything," he told me firmly, holding my gaze. "Just relax and be yourself. I don't care what you order, how much it's going to cost, if you get food in your hair, in your teeth, on your face. Honest to God," he insisted when I went to turn my face away with a disbelieving laugh. He tilted it back to him with one of his hands, not letting me get away. "I live with Emmett. Most disgusting eater in the _world_," he emphasised. "I'm not going to care how _much_ you eat. I don't care _how_ you eat. Just—Just let us go now, alright?"

I laughed again, unable to help it, because he looked so desperate, and nodded my head in assent. Edward grinned, and then stepped out of the car so he could come round and get my door.

I gave him a look as I got out of the car. It was filled with gratitude, but also tilted with a slight embarrassment. I twisted my lips, knowing that I was pretty darn lucky to be here tonight with him, a person who seemed to take in stride effortlessly all my quirks.

Edward just smiled.

We walked along the pavement. He held my hand, but that was almost traditional with us. How long had we been doing that? Perhaps not that long in the scale of things, but certainly a long time in terms of how long we'd know each other. And I liked holding his hand. It was comforting and made me feel warm all over in a very special way.

"You're not wondering where we're going?" Edward asked after a moment as we passed another couple on the sidewalk.

I'd been looking out to the opposite side of the road, taking in the strip of small and private shops, watching as their lights began to slowly light up as the night began to make its appearance.

I turned to look up at him and shook my head. "Not really," I told him honestly. "I'll kind of go wherever you take me. Just make sure it's not a dark alleyway, or I'll get a bit suspicious," I added.

He chuckled. "Fair enough. I'll be on my best behaviour."

He stopped in front of a small restaurant, lit up with little gold lights. I'd never seen it before; I had an inkling we were in Port Angeles—maybe the outskirts? Either way, I only really registered relief, because this place seemed fairly relaxed, and a teeny bit of excitement, because Edward seemed to have known just the right place to take me. It was all about balance.

He held this door open for me, too; when I stepped inside, it was pretty busy for such a small joint, but not overcrowded. I was sort of in a daze as Edward handled things; I trailed on behind him and the hostess that greeted us, allowing Edward to pull me along, taking in the surroundings.

Suddenly, I found myself in a seat, sitting opposite him at the very far end of the room, tucked neatly away from everyone else with a decadent menu splayed out before me.

"You sure you only want a coke?" he asked me, and I realised that the hostess had already taken note of our drinks and was walking off.

I raised my eyebrows at Edward. "Sure. Is that not sophisticated enough for your supremacy?"

He gave me a dark look, and I tried not to smile at it. "What? I can't help those jibes," I said, skimming the menu but not really taking anything in. "It's called self-preservation."

I peeked up from the expensive-looking paper to find Edward staring at me with a peculiar smile, his reprimanding expression entirely disappeared. Something was shining behind his eyes, but I couldn't quite place what it was.

"What?" I asked, blunt and brilliant.

"What is that even supposed to mean?" Edward asked me, shaking his head a little side to side, seeming a bit amazed. I couldn't look away; he seemed enthrallingly absorbed with giving me his full attention. As a person who didn't get a lot of attention, it was sort of overwhelming.

I swallowed, shrugging my shoulders feebly. "I don't know." But I sort of did. "It's just—we're so different, you know? I have to keep making references to it in a stupid way to . . ." I trailed off, trying to voice what I meant in the right way.

"Look," I said, suddenly passionate with what I was saying. I leant forward in my seat, staring into his green eyes. "I grew up with a father whose job it was to enforce the law in a town where the biggest crime committed is when Jessica Stanley's insane grandmother escapes from her home and invites herself into the neighbour's house to steal all the cutlery they own, which happens on a _weekly basis_, just to let you know. My mother refused to shave for an entire three months and set the house on fire once with all the incense she insisted on burning when she was going through her hippy phase, an entire _thirty years_ too late. I fluctuated between a parent whose biggest form of affection was to give me a smile after a take-out dinner and who made me feel guilty every time he so much as bought me a _lollipop_, because I knew I could ask him for anything and he would try his hardest to give it to me even though we couldn't afford it, and a bubbly parental _figure_, who sat me down when I was six years old to watch an entire five hours worth of _Friends_ reruns while she attempted to make a lemon meringue pie.

"It's a miracle I'm not more insane.

"Then there's you, who had to go through more trauma and distress than I can even _begin_ to imagine when you were only five years old. Do you know what I was doing when you were trying to cope with that sort of tragedy? I was probably trying to plait Renee's hair and learn how to braid. Unsuccessfully." I shook my head, dislodging that memory. "You have _the_ most—_amazing_ parents now, ones who are just so thoroughly perfect and nice and polite and _unreal_. You tossed away the chance to go to a private school. You have more money than I care to imagine, are already nearly _completely_ independent, and are about as famous as you can get in a place like Forks.

"You have every opportunity in the world," I finished softly. "And you never once act like you're better off than everybody else."

I swallowed again, setting my lips in a straight line as I waited for his reaction, feeling a little nervous and exposed after having just said so much in one go. He looked at me thoughtfully, eyes roaming my face in a quest to find a certain something; I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing when he stopped and smiled, looking straight into my eyes.

"So Jessica Stanley's grandma, huh?" he said with raised eyebrows. "Now I know who's been nicking all of my fancy sporks."

For a split second I tried to control my laughter. We stared at each other, and I could see the amusement shine through every contour of his face. It was like everything was frozen for one instant moment, and then it all collapsed.

I burst out into laughter, the peals of Edward's mixed with my own.

"They're quite an interesting family, actually," Edward mused when we paused to catch our breath.

"The Stanleys? Oh, I totally agree," I said as I pushed a lock of hair behind my ear, wondering if he really did own such a thing as sporks.

We were interrupted by the return of the waitress, who had to clear her throat to get our attention. Apparently she thought our mirrored goofy grins—goofy _and_ gorgeous, on Edward's part—were slightly demented and thus frightening; she looked bemused and the corner of her mouth turned ever so slightly down as she waited for our orders.

"What do you want?" Edward asked me politely, waiting for me to choose first.

I glanced back down at the menu again, mulling over the choices as I chewed my bottom lip. After a second I gave up on it and sent a pleading look to Edward.

"Ahh . . . I'll have anything. Seriously."

He raised both his eyebrows at me, looking surprised.

I swallowed. This wouldn't be uncomfortable in the slightest if there wasn't some other girl standing over us, waiting and expectant.

"I'm too tired to make a decision. Stay clear of seafood and I'll have anything you have."

Edward still looked a little perplexed, but he acquiesced anyway without any more fuss, and very soon the waitress had left, leaving our drinks on the table before us.

"Are you sure you don't mind—" he began to say as soon as she disappeared.

"So sure," I interrupted, and gave him a quick smile. "Sorry if I came of really weird with that. I am tired though, and I much prefer somebody taking that sort of decision out of my hands when it's fairly inconsequential."

"You just don't seem like the type of person who'd like a guy to order for them," he pointed out, pushing my drink closer towards me.

I took it gratefully. "I guess. But unless you wanted me to spend the next twenty minutes weighing up the pros and cons of every dish they serve, it's much more efficient to just order for me. And feel privileged; if you were some creepy loser without any taste and someone who I didn't trust to make a good decision for me, I wouldn't have let you do that and we would have waited the twenty minutes. In embarrassed silence, on my part," I added as an afterthought.

"I'm glad you let me take you out," Edward dropped with sincerity. "Even if I was a bit pushy."

"Pushy? Really? That was you attempting to be pushy?"

He grinned. "Not really. You agreed all too easy so pushiness would've been a little over-the-top, I think."

"Mmm," I sighed. "Well I'm glad you're taking me out too. But, gee, yeah, you might want to work on the pushiness thing. You almost came off desperate with the whole attempt. Are you really so dedicatedly persistent on taking me out on my first date?"

Normally, I would be worried terming our outing as a date in case it wasn't. But, really, what else could you call it? And I didn't think a mess up like that would faze Edward in the slightest.

Edward had just taken a mouthful of his drink. He hurried to swallow it while he shook his head back and forth in disagreement. "I think you'll find that this isn't our first date, it's actually our third," he said when he was finished.

I stared.

"Um . . . Want to run that by me again? I'm all confused."

I frowned up at him, elbow on the table, head resting on hand as I waited for him to correct what he just said, or at least explain it. Because that was certainly news to me.

He smiled, probably at my expression. "I'd count tonight as our third date," he told me, "if you'd allow me the honour, of course."

Huh. Okay. I wanted to respond straight away but I couldn't help but be a little taken by the way he'd said 'allow me the honour', all sweet and everything. I was just that mushy around him.

Finally, I responded.

"So . . . Just . . . How exactly does that work? You can call this our six-hundredth date for all I care," I told him in a rush, which was the truth, but I didn't want to allow myself the time to blush, "But isn't that sort of cheating?"

Edward chuckled, and he was looking at me with such warmth, and his eyes were so lovely and green, and I kind of wanted to swim in them . . .

"Well I think it's nice to say this is our third. If you count our other two escapades together."

"Ha . . . Hmm?" I wish I could hit myself over the head with something hard for letting that sort of response slip from me, but I was just that confused.

"I'd count the night I took you to James's with me as a date," Edward clarified, "even if it was a poor choice and ended in a catastrophe. The party, that was. I had a good time after when you took me to that place . . ."

"That park, yeah," I murmured, touched he remembered something like that as a date.

"And then there was the night I met you," Edward continued, lowering his voice a little. "You emerged out of nowhere from the trees and came to me in the moonlight and I couldn't get over how pretty you were."

I snorted, an involuntary-yet-instant reaction to what he said. I knew that I was blushing; I could feel the heat of my cheeks burning in my face.

"Very pretty," Edward continued, nodding. "You were wearing a blue dress. And then we began to talk, albeit a little reluctantly on your part, and it came to my attention that you felt a little . . . hostile towards me." He cracked a large grin, but he still spoke softly. "You were so interesting though. More interesting than anything else going on around us, or anyone else back at the house. And that . . . Well I think that counts."

"First date?" I whispered, having to swallow before I could speak.

"First date," Edward agreed. He cocked his head to the side. "I think a four-hour conversation has to count for something."

I smiled, still pink, still embarrassed, feeling thrilled and happy and everything else strange.

"Cool."

And Edward laughed.

Our dinner came soon after that; I ate without feeling the slightest bit self-conscious—I guess Edward was a man of his word. Things were comfortable and yet still slightly unnerving. I was pretty overjoyed simply in the fact that I'd gone out somewhere with him, that all these people were seeing us together. Even if I didn't know any of them. It was still a nice feeling. These strangers couldn't tell from a single glace that we were two very different people from two very different worlds. We could just be us, and that was a gift in itself.

Edward took care of the bill. I didn't even bother trying to argue that one. I may have been the stubborn one, but that didn't mean I was able to change his mind when he'd made a decision about something; it was like trying to change the mind of a statue. That is, if a statue had a mind to begin with.

After dinner we walked aimlessly down the sidewalk together. It was fully dark outside now and the sky was alive with bright spots of light, hundreds of stars out and shining down upon the earth. I was glad Edward had reminded me to bring my jacket before we left; it was slightly chilly, but still; the wind had come to a rest and it was deadly calm.

We were in the midst of conversation when we passed the cinema. I hardly gave it a second thought, but Edward stopped, turning to me with a smile.

"Wanna go see a movie?" he asked me, his grin full and large and the only thing properly visible as he was silhouetted by the lights the large and flashy—in contrast to the comparatively quaint shops, anyway—cinema had.

Surprised, I squinted up at him, a confused smile on my face. "What, really?" I said. "Just like that?"

"Yeah, come on," he said, jerking his head in its direction. He seemed eager, ten years younger in his enthusiasm, and I allowed him to steer me along inside, blown away by how content he seemed on just being normal with me. Apparently, we didn't have to go do anything particularly extravagant, and I liked that.

"Do you know if something's playing . . .?" I began to ask as we crossed the carpeted floor, realising that quite a few people were present here. I supposed it made sense; most of the shops were closed at this hour, where else would they go? We got into line, and I smiled to myself.

"Spontaneity. I like it," I told him, holding on to his hand a little tighter.

Edward laughed, and gave me a warm look. "Yes, this is definitely the epitome of spontaneity."

"Oh, shut up. You know what I mean."

"Is there anything in particular you want to see?" he asked me, scanning around at the advertisements present all over the place.

I shrugged. "Don't care. At all. How about we just go see whatever is playing right now?"

"Sounds good."

When we got to the desk, it happened that the next film playing was some sort of dramatic action flick. I laughed, but I didn't really mind. Considering how many people had bought tickets for it already, it was apparently rather popular. Edward didn't even consult me; he handed over the money without hesitation. As we walked away, I spun around to face him.

"Are you seriously going to insist on paying for everything?" I demanded.

He gave me a sheepish look. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"No. Well . . . Yes, in a way, but no."

He shook his head. "Okay, sorry to ask such a hard question. I'll tell you right now—I much prefer to fork over the money. I'm not used to being argued with on the matter."

I resisted the urge to poke my tongue out. Instead, I opted for a roll of the eyes. "You are so annoying," I muttered.

"Nah, you like it," he said confidently. "Don't worry, you can pay one day. Tonight it's my turn."

We still had roughly ten minutes before we had to go in, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I had just come out of the stall and made my way towards the sink when I looked up into the mirror and felt myself freeze into place. Entering the ladies room through the door to the left were two very familiar-looking girls. Dolled up in glamour with matching hair and sweet, sexy smiles, the pair were in deep conversation.

It took me another second to kick into action, but even as I turned to exit immediately, one of them looked up and noticed me.

I met her cold and surprised stare for a moment as I went to pull the door open. Our eyes locked, and then I was through the door and they were both gone, and I was submerged once more by stranger people as I pushed my way through, instantly trying to spot Edward, to find him, because I _needed_ to find him. This was _just_ the sort of thing that had to happen, wasn't it? Tanya and Irina were bad enough, but I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that there was more to it than that.

Why would those girls be seen in Port Angeles without the rest of their snobby entourage?

With relief, I spotted Edward back near the food section, apparently trying to buy me more stuff. I didn't know what I was going to say to him, but hopefully he would understand that I didn't really want to be here. Not with them.

I was just thankful I had Edward.

* * *

**Yerrr, so . . . There it is. Pretty fluffy, but I guess this whole story is :) More talking coming up between the two about their 'relationship'. And high school clique conflict. And . . . stuff. Do excuse, my blood sugar level is low, I need to go eat! Hope that was okay.**

**I promise, swear, and pledge that the next chapter will be up a lot sooner than this one was.**

**-lina xx**


	34. Disclosure

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

34. Disclosure

"Edward," I said in relief when I reached him, sliding up next to his body with a surprising amount of ease as my hand immediately went to grab onto his upper arm. "Edward, I—"

He turned around; apparently I'd caught him off guard. "Hey," he said with a warm smile as he took me in. "Perfect timing. Are you ready to go in?"

I tried to smile back, but it felt all wrong so I knew I was doing a terrible job. "There—Arr, maybe I should tell you something . . ."

Edward's smile changed into a look of concern and confusion; he led us to the side so the people behind us, waiting in line for food, could have the room to get served. His arms were still filled with all sorts of purchased snacks—and I surely hoped he had planned to eat most of it himself. There was no way after such a large and delicious dinner I was going to have room for even half of it.

"What is it?" he asked me when we were out of the way. I felt anxious, wondering if even now those two girls had exited the bathroom and were staring at us from across the room. I resisted the urge to turn around and check.

I wrinkled my nose. "So . . . Just how much were you looking forward to going to see this movie?"

"Err . . . Why?" His eyes turned trouble; I knew I was simply confusing the hell out of him, and I felt bad for the guy. Edward surveyed my expression for one very intense, short moment, and said, "Did you not want to go anymore? It's fine, you know, we don't have to go if you're tired or—"

I shook my head rapidly. "No, Edward, it's not that. I just don't know what to do and I feel so stupid saying this to you, but—" I grimaced and forced it out. "Tanya and Irina are here."

His two perfect eyebrows rose. "Oh."

I waited for his reaction, watching as his surprised expression slowly took its time to turn into a frown.

"Did you see them? Where are they?" He turned his head, scanning the people around us, looking for the matching sets of blonde hair.

"I bumped into them before."

He stopped searching immediately and gave me a shrewd look. "Should I be angry right now?" he asked seriously, not joking around. "If they bothered you in any way . . ."

I shook my head. "No, Edward, it's fine. I just didn't know what to do about it."

He stared at me, a calculating look dominating his face. Then, without hesitance, he said decisively, "Come on. We're going on in."

This did actually take me by surprise. He saw the flash of worry on my face, and, proving yet again his uncanny ability to understand me, instantly knew what was prompting it.

Tucking the popcorn under his arm to free on of his hands, he gently covered my hand that was resting on his bicep with his and tugged it down, swinging our entwined hands together. "You don't need to feel the least bit worried," he said with over-cheerfulness, probably for my benefit. "If we see them again, just ignore them. They won't bother us, I promise, Bella. We're going to go watch this kick-ass movie together and have an awesome time," he said jokingly.

"Really." I eyed him sceptically, but couldn't lie; a lot of my anxiousness had calmed already.

"Really. Especially because, when it gets to the boring bits, we get to make out." He winked at me. "Come on."

I let him lead me, looking just about everywhere else but directly at him, his comment having made all the blood rush in a race to warm my face with a flaming red. Sometimes, it was almost too easy to forget that this was the same Edward with all the overwhelming experience in areas where I had absolutely none.

We were just in time; the cinema was dark when we entered, the movie just about to play. Incredibly, we still got seats up the back.

I would love to be able to say that I enjoyed the film. But I honestly missed more than half of it. Even when I was staring at the screen, I would zone out completely and would only be aware I'd been doing so when it came to my attention that I had no idea who the main character was supposed to be, or what the actors were talking about. But how could I be expected to, anyway? Here I was, in a darkened, quite room, sitting right next one of the most amazing people on the planet. He held my hand the entire time, and I thrilled silently to myself at how perfect such a simple gesture like that was and at exactly how distracting it could be—I basically forgot all about my worries containing the two girls from school.

And Edward had been right about that, anyway. We didn't see them.

Halfway through the movie, Edward shifted in his seat and leant his head in close to mine. I stiffened immediately, but the intense second of butterflies I felt just about everywhere in my body dimmed slightly when he moved his mouth to my ear.

Quietly, feeling his warm breath tickle my neck, he whispered to me.

"I have no idea what the hell is going on," he confessed, sounding amused.

I tilted my head to meet his a little, and saw him smiling. Our faces where so close I was having trouble relaxing; my breathing was shallow, strained. In the very dim light, his eyes were shining.

"Neither," I admitted, and cracked a smile. Lowering my voice even more, aware of the others around us, I whispered back: "Why? Are you lost?"

It sounded so cheesy to say this, even safely in the confines of my own mind, but I swear, the energy that was passing between us seemed charged, electrical.

Edward's smile widened into a smirk, but I only caught a glimpse of it. I turned my head back to the front as he leant in even closer to me, so close I half expected him to kiss my neck. I was terrified to even move, scared he would stop. Instead, he murmured, "No. Not lost. I'm just distracted."

And then he leant away, concentrating on the screen once again.

I let out my breath shakily and pretended to focus on the screen, too, as I attempted to control the muscles in my face that wanted to make me smile. My free hand scrunched itself into a ball, my nails digging in to my palm.

We were both silent for the rest of the film. However, the silence was charged and filled to the brim with the most wonderful wordless conversation possible.

He didn't kiss me.

* * *

"Well I have to say, that was just confusing," Edward grinned as we slowly made our way out behind the procession of people exiting the theatre.

"I know!" I agreed, pretending like I knew what he was talking about. I couldn't really say that my concentration levels had picked up much for the second half of screening. I just hoped that he wouldn't notice.

"Ready to go home?"

"Mmmm, definitely," I said, and then yawned straight after the words were out of my mouth, proving my answer to be true. It made me laugh at myself. "I can't believe I'm so tired. I'm so glad school is over for the week, I just want to—"

"Oh my gosh, _Edward_!"

Both of our heads whipped around at the new sound to find the source of it. Metres from the door outside, we stopped at the same time to face the girl. That was where the similarities in our actions ended, though; Edward's confused expression transformed into one of recognition, whereas mine remained utterly blank and clueless. He took a step forward. I stayed put.

And then, as I remained in silence, he spoke up and said, "Wow, hey, Emily."

She was a good inch shorter than me. I considered myself to be pretty average when it came to my height, and yet, for some reason, that inch difference gave her the air of grace and cuteness that I had to remain without. Her skin was slightly darker than mine, smooth and polished, her hair a brown so dark it almost appeared black, waving gently just past her shoulders, thick and shiny. What stood out about her was the energy and spark that simply oozed out of her; that and the wide, endearing smile that was present on her pleasantly round face.

She came closer, her black halter dress short and funky and fresh. "I can't believe you're here!" she exclaimed happily, reaching her arms out to him, initiating the hug that followed.

I hung back, feeling a little unsure, wondering why Edward's face seemed to be battling with opposing emotions.

They both stepped back from the embrace, and this girl—Emily—turned to look at me. "Hey, I'm Emily," she introduced unnecessarily, giving me a smile, too.

"Bella," I replied, giving a small smile of my own in return. I couldn't help it: just because I tended to be really open with Edward didn't mean I was suddenly a different person. I had always been, and probably always would be, just a little shy.

She turned back to Edward, and I realised as he faced her once more that he'd been looking at me.

"So how have you been?" Emily asked him, brushing a thick strand of hair back from her face, making her delicate silver jewellery she was adorned with ring with the movement. "You look great, you know. I can't believe we haven't seen each other in so long."

Edward smiled. "I'm doing alright," he said, eyes directly on hers. "Emmett's good, too."

"Great."

There was a moment of awkward silence. That is, I interpreted it to be awkward. Emily seemed completely unperturbed; I figured she was the type of person who sort of went with the flow of things, always relaxed, always confident.

Edward, on the other hand, looked . . . Hm. Not exactly awkward. Just _ever_ so slightly uncomfortable; it was probably unnoticeable to everyone else but me. It automatically made me feel a little on edge.

"So I'm taking it you guys are just leaving?" Emily asked. "What perfect timing, anyway, catching you like this! I'm only here by complete fluke." She shook her head, amazed. "Tanya gave me a call to meet up here with a few people tonight—I assumed you'd have been one of them. Not that you're missing much. Irina's being her lovely charming self." And I was a little surprised as she rolled her eyes. "But, still, oh my God! I can't believe I'm going to have to leave you so soon, but I'm in a rush now. This is so not fair!"

"So you're going in now?" Edward asked.

She shook her head. "Nope. Well, not exactly. I ducked out because we're watching some crappy horror film, and you know how much I hate those," she told him casually, like it was common knowledge he knew her well. "But I figured it'll be over soon, I was just going to slip back in." She made a face, and then laughed. It was a nice laugh, appealing and wholesome and rather loud.

"I should get going," Emily continued, flashing another wide smile that showed off the dimple she had on her left cheek. "I could talk to you for hours but I guess it's awkward timing. Sorry to hold you up, but seriously—call me." She pointed an accusing finger Edward's way. "It's been _way_ too long, Edward."

"Sure thing," Edward replied, and then Emily was sending a "Nice to meet you!" my way before capturing Edward in another tight and squeezing embrace. Then she left, walking with confidence that lacked arrogance, until she was out of our sight.

I stared down at the carpeted floor, waiting for what came next. After about ten more seconds of this, Edward lightly cleared his throat and said, "So . . . Should we get going?"

I looked up at him; he was staring at me, brow wrinkled but otherwise relaxed. So I nodded, consenting, giving him a smile, allowing him to lead me out into the cold night air. We walked in silence for a little bit more down the sidewalk, both of us wordlessly knowing that we were headed for his car. I half expected him to bring the girl up, but he didn't offer any explanation or details, and although I was curious, I didn't want to be the one to broach the subject.

Arms crossed over my chest as I walked, I mulled over the easy way in which that girl had touched Edward. I know, I know, it sounded so bad to be jealous. Here I was, at the end of a wonderful night that had been generously supplied by the guy it sounded like I doubted. And I didn't doubt Edward; not one bit. I just found it a little . . . _interesting_. I'd kissed Edward a couple of times now (even though he'd been the one to instigate the few) and holding hands was almost always a given with us. And yet, I couldn't confidently say that I touched Edward a lot. We didn't hug—not really. I wasn't one to openly and calmly reach up to brush his arm or stroke his hair or do anything overtly affectionate like that.

Too afraid. It wasn't the perfect word for how I felt, but it sufficed. There was still a part of me that felt like I was unable to do those things with someone like _him_. And here, tonight, was some girl who confidently sprung up at him like it was the most natural and obvious thing in the world to do.

Maybe it was. Maybe I just over-thought things too much—which was exactly what I was doing now.

"You're pretty quiet," Edward observed after a moment. We were passing the—now closed—restaurant we'd eaten at earlier, and I could just make out his car in the distance.

"Mmmm," I murmured quietly. "Just really tired, I guess."

"A movie like that could put anyone to sleep," Edward agreed, and then turned his head to grin at me when he saw me looking. "Come on," he said. "That was pretty bad."

I laughed a little. "Honestly, I can't remember a lot of it."

He nodded. "Definitely bad."

We reached his car and I was surprised when he got the door for me. I wasn't aware people still _did_ that. I got in carefully, waiting for him to enter round his side, too. I expected him to start the engine immediately, but he didn't; he leant his head back on the headrest and turned his face to look at me, his arms resting on either side of his body.

He didn't say anything; just stared. After a moment of expectant waiting, realising he wasn't going to say anything, I said defensively, "What?"

That made him grin again. "Nothing, sorry. I was just thinking—I'm really glad you don't live with your dad."

That was a fairly odd thing to say out of the blue. My head was turned to face him, and I inclined it slightly forward in a questioning manner, wondering if he was going to elaborate.

Clearly observing my confusion, his grin grew bigger. "Well, you know. He's chief of police, after all." He nodded his head towards the clock on the dashboard. "I don't know if you're aware, but it's actually quite late. It's so . . . relaxing to realise I don't have to face any angry and overprotective parents when I drop you off home."

"Except maybe Alice," I pointed out.

"Except maybe Alice," he agreed.

We smiled together.

"I'm pretty happy with my living arrangements too, but for slightly different reasons," I told him. "Don't get me wrong—Charlie is lovely. Actually, I sort of miss him—he lives so close by, and yet the two of us are terrible at maintain constant contact. In that respect, we're too alike. But it's nice to have the certain . . . _freedom_ that comes without a parental-figure hovering around. It makes me pretty humble, actually, because it's not very common for many seventeen-year-olds to have their own place away from home."

Edward gave me another smile; it was different from before, slower, deeper, more meaningful and special. I thought he was going to comment on what I'd just said—however, surprising me yet again, he said rather suddenly, "Tell me a secret."

His abrupt request caught me off-guard. Laughing a little in confusion, I said, "Which one? Any in particular?"

He shook his head, rolling his eyes impatiently. "No, be serious here. I am."

"You want to know a secret?" I checked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yep. Come on; tell me something nobody else knows. You're a smart girl; you can't pretend you don't understand what it is that I'm saying."

I blinked, and then grew serious as I tried to do what he said. In this regard, Edward was extremely patient; while I mulled around in my head for an appropriate response, he kept still and silent, a small and perfect smile turning up the corners of his mouth just slightly as he watched me.

The silence grew and thickened. All the while, here we were, two people sitting parallel to each other in the quiet of the night, in our own little world that seemed to exclude everything else out of it except the other. Finally, when the stillness turned sombre, I found the courage to speak up.

"Well . . ." I began, and Edward's expression didn't change, didn't alter, which was comforting and nice and probably was what allowed me to continue. "I'm sort of cheating here a little bit," I confessed, holding my thumb and index finger up to show the imaginary amount. "One other person knows all about it."

"Go on," he encouraged quietly, shifting his body to face mine a little.

"Well . . ." I said again, and then took a deep breath which I exhaled noisily. "You've asked about this a few times, and it was probably stupid to keep it from you in the first place. It sort of builds it up to be more than it really is. The thing is," I said, trying to cut-short my rambling, "is that being younger when it happened, it impacted me more severely than it really should have. You wanted to know why I decided to leave my mum and come down to Forks to live with my dad? The reason, put simply, was because of my friends. They . . . well, they ended up being . . . err . . ."

"Not the nicest?" Edward suggested helpfully.

I was grateful for the support, and the way he put it made me smile in spite of everything. "Yeah, not so nice."

I hadn't decided yet if I was going to freely offer any more information than what I'd just disclosed. I didn't like talking about it; it was uncomfortable and sounded juvenile and silly. However, when Edward didn't speak, I felt somehow compelled to continue on despite this.

"It was my last year of grade six that things began to turn a little bad, right before we transitioned into middle school," I told him. "As is sort of typical at that age, I guess, my main group of friends all consisted of girls. I was probably slightly better friends with one of the girls in particular—her name was Julie." I shook my head, waving that away with my hand. "Anyway, that's not even relevant.

"Towards the end of grade six, like I said, things were already changing. There were seven of us who had always been . . . You know, a group. But something shifted. A lot of bitching started up, petty little stories were spread, secrets were told . . ." I looked up at him briefly. "You know the drill."

He cracked a small smile.

"It got worse when we hit middle school. I already hated the year enough as it was. I still had my friends, but we weren't very . . . friendly. I don't know how to explain it; it was more like an _act_, you know? I didn't even like most of them. I couldn't _stand_ this one girl in particular—she completely hated me; every time I went to sit down with everyone she'd give me this look . . ."

I stopped abruptly, glancing up at Edward again. His eyes were on mine.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Are you sure you don't mind hearing this? I'm listening to myself and I can't believe you haven't told me to shut up yet."

Knowing now that nothing was seriously wrong, Edward rolled his eyes. "I used to be around even pettier drama every single day of my life, and that was barely a month ago—and we didn't even have the excuse of being bratty little girls. Continue."

I glared at him, but I was grinning in disbelief. "Did you just refer to the past me as a bratty little girl?"

He raised his eyebrows. "No. I don't believe that I specified between the past and the present. To me, you're still a very bratty little girl."

"Beats being a spoiled and overly-groomed and cheesy ladies' man," I said.

He grinned. "Hey, that hurt."

I eyed him sceptically. "Yeah I can see you're all torn up about it."

He shook his head with a laugh. "No, no, we're getting distracted now. Continue on with your story, you're not getting out of it."

I sighed, but acquiesced. Now I was sick of drawing out; I wanted to move on to different and better things.

"Right. So life sucked in the overly-dramatised way thirteen-year-olds do things. It was my birthday. I had this cheesy little sleepover thing. Renee was more excited about it than I was—I was more nervous than anything else, not wanting it to turn out to be stupid or overly childish, worried what people would think of it. Anyway, we watched movies, talked a lot, the usual. I ended up being one of the first people to fall asleep. When I woke up . . ." I wrinkled my nose, hating the unpleasant memory. "I don't think people knew I was awake, since they were talking about me. Instead of confronting them, I simply pretended to still be asleep, because that's just the sort of person I am."

"What did they say?" Edward interrupted politely, and I twisted my mouth for a second before answering.

"Well . . . Just normal stuff when it comes to bitching about someone, I guess. How I wasn't very fun, it was better when I was gone; I was uptight and full of it and thought I was better than everyone else. I don't know. I guess my quietness was misconstrued a bit and came off a little arrogant. I didn't join in conversations when they talked about boys, and they took offense in that for some reason. Anyway. Eventually I fell back asleep. Renee woke us all up about half an hour before the parents were going to arrive to pick everyone else up.

"When she saw me, she looked angry, and immediately demanded to know what the heck I'd done to my hair."

Edward looked confused.

"I know," I said, nodding to him. "I had no idea what she was on about, until I touched my hair and realised that most of it was missing. I used to have really long hair, it went all the way down to my waist. I wore it in two pigtails to sleep in, and when I was asleep one or more of the girls had actually cut them both off."

"Shit," Edward swore under his breath when I stopped for a second. "That's pretty awful. Like, fairytale awful, you know? Like when you hear about the princess or whatever and she . . . Oh, shut up, Bella," he said, rolling his eyes when I snorted with laughter.

"Sorry," I said between quietly controlled amusement.

Edward appeared a little ruffled. "I just meant—"

"I know, I'm sorry," I said again, calming down. "Don't worry about it. Thank you, really. You're making me laugh—that's a good thing."

He gave me a disbelieving look, but I ignored him, continuing on with my recollection.

"So Renee was pretty angry when she caught on to the fact that someone else had done that to me. Nobody confessed to it, predictably. I just stood there, staring, and they all were silent and staring back at me. I was humiliated but I didn't want to show it, so I tried to pretend that I was completely fine with it. Even when Renee pulled me aside and tried to find out exactly what was going on, I told her everything was fine. I was probably putting on a really bad show, but it lasted long enough to see everyone leave, and when they were gone I ran up to my room, stayed in there for a good few hours, and simply cried.

"Renee came knocking in the afternoon, and she was actually really nice about the whole thing. I hated my hair, was completely mortified with it. It was so short it only just brushed my shoulders, and it was obviously cut really jagged and awfully when I let all my hair out. So what did Renee do? She gave me a hug, chucked my best and absolute favourite dress at me to wear, and took me shopping. We had lunch at some sort of cheesy place that I picked, and then afterwards, she took me to the hairdressers, who thankfully sorted my hair out somewhat.

I went to school the next day. I didn't want to, but Renee was really smart and told me that it would only be worse if I didn't. So I saw my friends, and pretended yet again like everything was fine and that my party had actually been really fun. That first day was . . . alright. Actually, the whole week went okay. But then after that, things fell apart again. I got told I wasn't allowed to sit with them anymore, in class or at lunch. It was only one or two girls who were really vocal about the whole thing, but typically, the others followed them. And . . . I hated it. I didn't tell Renee. I lied to her, telling her that things had sorted themselves out. When she wanted to know why I didn't see any of my friends outside of school anymore, I avoided the question. And, eventually . . . I was sick of it.

"I told my mum I wanted to go to Forks. I called Charlie and told him I was coming to stay for a while. He agreed instantly, of course. And that sort of leads up to where I am now, I guess. 'A while' turned into years, and I guess that's what I had planned all along, but I hadn't been very clear about it. It's why today Renee is still pretty hung up on the fact that I left her. She doesn't really know why."

I was finished, and Edward obviously knew that. After a bit of a while, he simply said, "Well. That . . . sucks."

I laughed again, more in relief for having finally told him a particular story that was important to me.

"Yeah, it does. But it was better, in the end. Like I've told you before, I knew Alice vaguely from my previous brief stays in Forks, and on my first day of school, enrolled halfway through the year, she basically suckered on to me instantly and hasn't let go as of yet. And I'm really glad."

"Plus, you met me. Think about the luck involved in _that_."

I stared at him, and he had a totally confident, cocky smirk all over his face, and I couldn't help but smile back in return.

"I thought you were the lucky one," I teased half-heartedly, not expecting an answer.

"Oh, don't worry about that, I know I am." And he was more serious when he said this, his grin fading but the ghost of it still on his face, his eyes alight with its warmth, his face soft, expression inviting.

"Yeah, well . . ." I trailed off, not actually knowing what it was that I was going to say.

We were silent for a while, and although I was starting to feel awkward, I didn't look away from him. Couldn't look away from him, because he was looking right on at me without any indication of averting his gaze. And as our stare lengthened and grew deeper, the reflection of it was shown deep in the dark green of his eyes that captured mine, swirled in their depths and began to transform into something more. It was intense. It was sudden.

And I ruined it all by blurting out a completely unguarded question.

_How do you know that girl? That girl from before?_

Of course, this wasn't actually the question I ended up going with. That would have been bad enough, but apparently it didn't cut it on the embarrassing scale of mortification and didn't convey perfectly just how awful I was.

"Did you sleep with that girl?" I demanded before I could stop the words from falling out of my mouth.

The entire moment was ruined, severed, cut short. Edward's face instantly contorted into an expression that wasn't nice, wasn't soft, but a mixture of surprise and hurt and something else I didn't want to put a name to. He leant back, almost like I'd pushed him, the lines on his forehead deepening into a frown.

"What?"

"I said—Oh, don't worry about it." But he was still looking at me, with a face that demanded a proper answer, and even though I knew it was a mistake, a repeated myself again anyway. "How do you know that girl from before?"

He wasn't falling for it, though. Watching his eyes darken, he said flatly, "That wasn't what you asked."

Inside, safe within me where his eyes couldn't seek it out, I felt like absolute crap. I felt intimidated and most of all stupid, but I didn't show this. Shoving away how uncomfortable this situation was making me feel, I stuck my chin into the air stubbornly and simply met his glare head on.

I set my jaw, refusing to be the first one to break the silence. He couldn't pretend to have misunderstood my question now; it was up to him to find the appropriate answer. I could watch _him_ flounder for once, attempting to come up with a response.

I refused to acknowledge how much it hurt to see him staring at me like that. Ignored it, shoved it away into the deep recesses of my mind.

Finally, Edward exhaled in way that sounded angry, and turned away from me, shifting to stare out his window into the blackened nothing that was there.

He didn't speak.

Somehow, that almost hurt more.

"Look, I have every reason to feel a little suspicious about something like that, alright?" I defended ruthlessly, directing my speech to the bright copper colour of the back of his head. "It's not like I've known you my entire life or anything. I don't know who you've been with, only that you have_been with_. A lot. For all I know, even the friggen' girl at the restaurant could be an ex-partner of yours—"

"Just shut up, Bella, alright?" Edward ordered, and I instantly fell silent, mouth open but no words to fuel it with anymore. I sat amongst the dead silence of my own shame, finally feeling the consequences of my words turn around to attack me now instead.

Edward turned back around, turned to look at me, and I didn't feel so high and mighty anymore. I felt pathetic and stupid, a silly little girl who was miles beneath the guy she was sharing the car with. Any confidence I'd had before disappeared completely now that I was staring into his face.

Stare we did.

"I mean, shit, Bella," Edward said. "I don't get why you're doing this."

"Doing what?" My voice sounded tiny and weedy next to his. I scrunched my shoulders up high, curling in on myself a little for support.

He didn't answer. Instead, he looked extremely frustrated as he ran a hand through his unruly locks.

"You know what really stinks?" he said suddenly. "The fact that the entire world seems to think it's fine for a girl to make crappy assumptions and basically indicate that a guy sleeps around, but if a guy was to call a girl a slut, you wouldn't hear the end of it."

I gaped, astonished and speechless, fighting for my voice because what he was saying was _completely_ off-track, _completely_ not what I had meant, _completely_ ludicrous—

_Didn't you basically imply that just before though?_

"Look, I wasn't saying that though!" I protested. "I mean, I sort of said that, but I didn't mean it that way. I—Well I'm sorry, I wasn't even going to say anything it sort of just . . ."

"Even though you haven't made it _any_ of you business yet, I'll tell you right now, I have never _been with_"—Edward used my term explicitly—"someone I wasn't going out with."

I hated where this was going, hated that it sounded like we were heading into a fight, perhaps already suffocating in one. I wanted it to stop, wanted to take a breath, but it was all happening so quickly and hadn't I been the one to begin it?

"Good! Well, that's good then, isn't it, I mean I didn't think—"

"I have lots of friends, lots of people I've known before you, and yes, some of them are girls," Edward continued, ignoring me now, which was sort of fair enough, I sounded so dismal. "But if you haven't noticed, I've sort of put on hold just about every aspect of things like that since I met you. I mean, I spend just about all my time _with you_. I was here with _you_ tonight."

"I know . . ."

Edward let out a long breath.

"Look, Edward, I'm _sorry_, alright?" I said almost desperately, looking right at him. "Everything you're saying is right, your reaction is fair enough, I wasn't thinking and it sort of just came out . . ." I exhaled out a breath, too, and then took a deep one. "I think this conversation is a little premature anyway," I said slowly, calming down a bit now. "And yet again, you were right when you said it was none of my business. It isn't and I'm not being fair and _I'm sorry_.

"I'm just a bit . . . sensitive on the subject, I guess. And it was really rude, what I said. I just . . . Sometimes I just feel like the whole rest of the world knows more about you than I do."

He stared at me, stared for a long time and although I could feel some of my distress evident on my forehead, I was sort of lost in the look he gave me. A lot was conveyed in that long look. And then, when I felt like I couldn't stand the silence for one second longer, his expression turned a little apologetic and hesitant, and almost . . .

There was a split-second shift in demeanour, and then Edward ran a hand through his hair again, and said in a flat and emotionless voice, "You're right."

Staring at him, at his beautifully troubled face, I didn't quite understand what he meant. Did this mean the argument was over?

"Good? I mean, you're right too. And I was sort of more wrong than right anyway."

Edward didn't blink. "No," he said, reluctant. "I meant, you're right. I have . . . been . . . with her."

My expression didn't change. It remained still and motionless, frozen forever in a mask of mixed emotion, a veil to cover the inner turmoil of feelings I was trying to overcome.

Because that stung. A lot. Hurt me in places I didn't know I had, but at the same time, what right did I have to get upset that he had a life before me, outside of me? I didn't, and I was stuck.

"Oh." It was just a murmur, a tiny little mumble that was barely audible. But Edward did hear it, and his expression tightened.

He didn't speak, and neither did I. I did look away from him, though; suddenly, I didn't really want to see his face.

Swallowing a building sadness stuck in my throat, one that left me feeling idiotic, I managed to gasp out, "Do you mind taking me home now?"

I knew he was staring at me, but a second look—long enough to register the sadness on his face—was ample time to remain sturdy in the fact that looking at him was something I still didn't want to do. Definitely didn't want to do.

I tucked both my legs up onto the car seat, not even worrying if this movement would annoy him, and wrapped my arms around my legs, staring out the window but not really staring at anything at the same time.

I heard, quiet in the stillness of the dark, the sound of Edward's resigned sigh, filling the cabin with stiffness.

The car's engine rumbled to life, and we spent the rest of the drive home in absolute silence.

* * *

**Okay, still taking a long time between updates, I know. Excuses, excuses, I won't sully your ears (or eyes) by attempting any of them. Just a little heads-up though: I finish school December 1st, and my exams are in one week so this is sort of the two-week period that my entire school-year comes down to. I'm pretty overloaded with homework and work and planning my sixteenth party . . .**

**. . . Mad Hatter Teaparty here we come . . .**

**. . . So it might (hopefully not) take up to another month for an update. I'm pathetic, I know. But that's at the most.**

**Hope you're all enjoying your life!**

**-lina x**


	35. Spell Broken

**Heeey :) It's me again. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed; it was so interesting hearing your responses. There are just a few things that need to be addressed before we begin . . .**

**(Unless you don't read these blithering ANs, and who could really blame you if you don't?)**

**1. First of all, I forgot to mention last chapter . . . The whole hacking off the hair incident that happened to Bella . . . Yeah, that's actually a partially-true story. Happened to a friend of mine when she was eleven, before I even knew her. However, I don't know the specifics leading up to the act, and if I once did, I know am no longer able to recall them (typical).**

**2. Wow. Some people felt really strongly about happened between Edward and Bella! To let you all in on a little secret, it wasn't really planned, it sort of just happened. There was a crucial moment there when I was writing . . . Bella had just finished telling Edward her story . . . Right then, a different path was available, where they would kiss and be all mush. Instead, I knew instantly it wouldn't happen that way. It wasn't . . . right.**

**3. Okay, nearly done. I just have to get all motherly here, because my attachments to fictional characters that I write about get me all protective and crazy. There were a couple of people who took either Edward's or Bella's side in that whole tiff. Just to clarify my view (because this is how I meant it when I wrote it—however, you're still entitled to interpret it any way you wish), I don't think either are in the right/wrong. It's one of those typical stupid fights that ensue when people say harsh things and act the wrong way because they haven't mastered enough foresight into the situation to control the outcome. Although I do agree Edward overreacted.**

**Right. I think that's just about it . . .**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

35. Spell Broken

The drive home took an impossibly long time, a far greater journey than travelling out had been. Not a single word was shared between the two of us. It was impossible; any sound would be immediately swallowed by the gulf of silence that stretched unfathomable distances between us, shoving out any means to salvage the problem. And I wanted to solve the problem, really I did. I just didn't see how I could.

You see, I was torn in two. The practical side I held so high in esteem was screaming at me, positively _screeching_ to be heard, ordering me to speak up now because every second that ticked by was another second that things only got worse. But I felt overcome with an array of strong and overpowering emotions that made it feel like opening my mouth had suddenly become an impossible feat. If I did, it felt like I'd fall into pieces. My clenched jaw was one of the only gestures that was protecting me, allowing the tears to be held back in bay so I could portray the image I so desperately wanted to give: That I was fine, that I was in control, that I was strong.

That I was far better and more composed than I could ever dream of being. That our fight didn't hurt me. Didn't cut me up completely.

Oh yeah, I was _so_ intent on lying my way through this situation. If it meant holding on to some composure until I had the right amount of privacy to fall to pieces in, then I was determined to keep my expression in check until it became a permanent fixture on my face. I honestly didn't care. Not about that.

Just about everything else.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat and allowed my eyes to focus in on the pitch-black scenery we rushed past, illuminated by the interruptions of streetlamps and headlights. My eyes had been gazing unseeingly out the window for what seemed like a lifetime, glazed over; I may as well have been staring at a blank wall. My neck was stiff from lack of movement, not that I planned to rectify the situation. Looking at Edward was another thing I was positive I couldn't handle. It would make all the jumbled feelings in the pit of my stomach come up in a rushing flood to suffocate the two of us.

It was a sign of angelic mercy when I saw my street coming up right ahead. I felt relieved and pained at the same time; there was no way I would have imagined climbing out of his car feeling this way when we first began the evening.

I listened to Edward's breathing, deafening in the deathly stillness, as he slowed the car down to pull into the side of the road. I still didn't look at him, not even when he shut the engine off, drenching the pair of us in even thicker silence. I was ready to move, to flee from his car, but for some reason I felt unable to move.

We sat for one long, endless minute together, simply waiting. Waiting for what, I had no clue.

Finally, feeling the mounting pressure of the situation reach breaking point, I knew I had to get out of there. It was too much for me to handle. It was late at night; I was tired, I was confused, and simply sitting here proved to simply be more painful than any other course of action I could think of. I'd never felt more awkward and humiliated in my life—this situation was way out of my experience, miles ahead of my comfort zone. I couldn't think.

As soon as my hand touched the car door, however, Edward spoke. It was just one word, one simple uttering of my name, but it seemed filled to bursting with an array of emotions and feelings and meanings.

"Bella," he began, and I froze completely, hating the way I still liked hearing him say my name, no matter what the situation, no matter how quiet and rich it sounded.

I couldn't answer back; I couldn't speak.

"Bella," he said again, and because I knew he was about to say more, words formed in my mouth without my brain computing what they meant.

"It's fine," I said, staring to the side of my feet. "Thanks for taking me home."

I reached again to slip out of the car, and even as I opened the door, his voice carried out to me.

"No, Bella, I have to—"

But I couldn't stand another second of it.

"Sorry—I'm just—I'll talk to you later," I said, flustered, planting my feet firmly on the ground, closing the car door behind me with a reverberating sound of finality. I didn't hesitate, but immediately walked up to my building, scrunching up my face with the effort not to cringe as I pictured Edward's face in my mind, pictured him watching me walk away. It wasn't until I reached the entrance door that I heard the faint sound of Edward's car starting up again. As I slipped inside, I tried not to imagine him driving away from me.

Alice was there as soon as I opened our door. Her petite body was splayed out on the couch, some old classical movie playing on the television screen, her eyes lidded and heavy, clearing sleepy as she stared at the box. Hair out and mussed, she was dressed in a silk pyjama set and an oversized fluffy pink dressing gown. Her gaze drifted to me as I stepped past the threshold and closed the door behind me.

Craning her head up, she gave me a smile. "Hey there," she said, voice clear despite her sleepiness. "I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come home. You do know that it just hit midnight, right? Good timing or the magic would've ended and things would have turned catastrophic if you stayed out one moment more."

"You haven't been wondering where I was?" I asked dully. Realising I was just standing there in the doorway, frozen, I moved mechanically to get out of my jacket.

"Nope," she answered simply. "I figured that if you'd been kidnapped and murdered, there wasn't a whole heap I could do to help the situation besides make some good old cups of tea for the cute officers when they came calling round."

I stared at her.

She cracked a sloppy grin. "Duh, that was a joke. I already knew you were hanging out with Edward this evening. I figured you'd gone out—not that you were responsible or anything and texted me."

Just hearing her say his name was more than I could handle. Instantly, my face crumpled into a grimace, my body sagged with defeat and the weight of the evening crushed down upon me.

Alice immediately sat up, concern written all over her face as my composure finally sunk in to her consciousness. "Bella? What's wrong?" she asked. "You know I don't really mind that you didn't text me, right?"

I smiled a little and shook my head back and forth, but my smile was sad and empty. Instantly, Alice hit Stop on the remote, the television screen going blue as the happy sounds emanating from it shut off completely.

"Bella," she said, and then "Oh, Bella," when I realised at the same time as her that I thought I was going to cry. She patted the sofa cushion next to her small body, coaxing me over to sit down next to her. I collapsed into it and a sob rose in my throat.

"It's alright," Alice said, hugging me to her. "Seriously, Bella, whatever it is, it's going to be okay."

This just made the tears spill from my eyes. I felt shocked, like everything was finally hitting me, flooding with substantial power and I couldn't hold it in to my body any longer.

"Oh no," Alice murmured as she heard my cries. "Shhh, Bella. Seriously, whatever could be wrong?"

"I—He—We had a fight and he—He . . ." This was convoluted and jumbled, hard to make out even to my own ears, but it was enough for Alice to grasp the gist of the situation.

"Oh dear," she said, patting my shoulder soothingly. "Maybe it is time for some good old tea. I'd have you as my cute officer any day."

This made one of my sobs stick in my throat as I laughed weakly.

"That's good," Alice said, encouraging me. "Whatever happened can be solved. You know that, right? And," she added, "If anything happens to contradict my last statement, I will singlehandedly kill every single male on the planet, okay? We don't really need them . . ."

Sniffling and feeling like a baby, I looked up at her through my watery eyes. "Even Jasper?" I asked weakly.

She hesitated for only one second. "Yes, even Jasper," she conceded.

I shook my head, wiping my nose with my hand. "It's alright, I wouldn't expect you to kill Jasper."

She pursed her lips together, considering. "Fine then," she decided. "Jasper can stay on the planet as long as he's disguised as a woman."

The bizarreness of that statement made me laugh again, which in turn made Alice smile.

"That's a bit better," she said sadly. "It's weird seeing you upset. You're supposed to be the practical and in control one. People expect the tears and emotional histrionics from me, silly girl!"

I rolled my eyes, which was a clear sign that I was feeling better. "I'm not made out of stone," I mumbled, voice thick.

"I know," she assured me. "I didn't mean it like that."

We were silent for another minute. I was focusing on calming myself down as Alice waited for me to do so patiently, rubbing my back. Finally, when I straightened myself up to sit properly, Alice jumped up from the couch.

And headed straight for the kitchen.

"Tea!" she sung out on her way, already bustling in the kitchen. I watched from my seat, half amused and half thankful.

Not only did she serve tea, but she also had a secret stash of chocolate that she brought out of hiding, much to my appreciation. She no longer looked tired; the sleepiness that had been present on her face had disappeared completely, replaced by a sharp concern and care instead.

"It was so stupid," I said when we were finally settled, hot brewing mug clasped in both hands.

"Fights normally are," she agreed. "Remember when we fought over that hairbrush last year?"

I smiled in memory, and then shook my head to clear my thoughts. "This didn't even have a cause though. Not really. It just . . . happened. Escalated. Came from nowhere."

Alice nodded, her face now serious and attentive.

"It's just—I feel so stupid, you know?" I ran a hand through my hair, knowing that my face was red from tears and that I probably looked like crap. "We both were so stupid. It started out . . . nice. Really nice."

"Maybe start from there then?" Alice suggested helpfully. "Focusing on the nice stuff is always . . . Well, nice. It might help to see things in perspective if you start from the beginning."

"Right," I agreed. "So Edward took me out. Sort of on a date."

"Aw," Alice interrupted, unable to help herself even though my tone had been twisted a little with sourness.

"Yeah. It was really great. We went to dinner. Actually, that bit was perfect. Do you know what he said?" Alice shook her head, clearing conveying no. "He said he counted it as our third date; that the two other times we'd gone out together before counted as ones to him, too. I mean, how sweet is that?"

"You would've been really embarrassed," Alice supplied helpfully.

"Definitely. But I was so flattered; I felt like someone different. I know that sounds silly, but it was true. And then we went to the cinemas—and then we bumped into this girl, and she . . ."

Alice was probably unaware of the confused expression she had plastered on her face. I knew I was doing a crap job of explaining everything.

I tried a different tactic. Feeling my cheeks warm up a little at what I was about to talk about, I ploughed on ahead anyway. "Alice?" I began.

"Mm?"

"We basically bumped into a girl he used to know. A girl he's apparently slept with."

Alice's face instantly contracted into a harsh wince. "Ouch. Awkward."

I nodded miserably.

"Is she a girl you know from school? I mean, is it simply just rumoured or . . .?"

"No, I know because he told me. Afterwards. Well, technically I _asked_ him, and _then_ he told me. Which is how things got so out of hand. I mean, I was just sitting there and things were great and I basically demanded to know if he'd slept with her." I gave her a hopeless look. "I am clearly that insensitive."

Alice was shaking her head before I'd even finished the sentence. "No, no," she disagreed firmly. "Not insensitive, just inexperienced. You can't be faulted on that. There's a huge difference."

I didn't say anything in response, still trying to come to terms with what had happened in my own head. Finally, Alice spoke up again. "So is that how you guys had an argument? I can understand why you'd feel a bit upset about it . . ."

"Well actually it was more to do with . . ." I trailed off. "God, I don't even know."

Alice's expression turned tragic and jaded at the same time. "Love. Huh. It's always so complicated."

I was too busy speculating to give her an eye roll or a dirty look.

"Alright then, let's just look at things," Alice said, all business-like, sitting up straighter in her seat. "We might not be able to delve too deeply into Edward's side of things, but I'm reckoning together we'll be able to come up with some pretty spectacular theories covering it. This will be to do with how well you know him, and, of course, my genius ability to predict, my sharp intuition, stunning good looks and beautiful charm."

"What has your good looks and charm got to do with it?" I asked, distracted.

"Please. Good looks and charm work wonders on anything." She fluttered her hands, like this was obvious and baby knowledge and that we needed to move onto other things. Continuing on like I hadn't interrupted, she added, "Of course it's probably smarter to begin with discussing your side of the events. So . . . don't feel overwhelmed or anything, but I need to know every single thought you've had in your head since four o'clock this afternoon."

I stared at her.

She stared back.

Then, after a moment, her serious mask slipped and she rolled her eyes. "Jesus, I was only joking!" With a poke at my ribs, she let a chuckle slip. "And enjoy it, because I'm going to be avoiding all attempts at humour for the next ten minutes while we go through this. Trust me; it'll make you feel better."

I took a deep breath and let it out in one huge exhale. "Okay."

"Good! So be honest with yourself, even if you don't want to tell me about it out loud, because this is probably the most important thing: How do you feel about the fact that Edward has slept with this girl?"

I took a minute. I didn't really want to think about it, but I figured that was normal. I mean, who really wanted to dwell on the fact that the guy they were sort of beginning to maybe be with (I really had no clue what our relationship status was) had been having sex with someone else? I wasn't completely naïve or stupid; I had no delusions about Edward's past being completely chaste. But there was a difference to knowing in the abstract and having the evidence right there in front of you.

Having it shoved in your face was definitely not something I wanted to experience again. I just couldn't help but think: How bad would it have been if I'd known _before_ meeting Emily that she'd been with Edward in that way?

I swallowed and spoke. "I hate it."

"That's fairly predictable. I'd be sincerely concerned if you'd said you loved it." Alice gave me a small and encouraging smile, a lot more gentle and tentative then her words.

"I just wish things weren't so complicated. That things like school and social groups and conflicts and past partners didn't matter and weren't an issue. But I feel so stupid sometimes around Edward. I mean, here's this guy who knows more people then I've probably laid eyes on in my life and he seems to know so much more about . . . relationship stuff than I do." Now that the words were flowing, they were hard to stop. "He didn't want to tell me. That was obvious. But it was most likely my own fault that he got so defensive because of the way I brought it up. It was almost like an attack. I just think that if things had been calmer… If I'd started off at a slower pace . . . That maybe things wouldn't have been so confrontational."

Alice looked at me sympathetically. "It sounds like it sucks."

I laughed, but I didn't really find it funny. "Yeah, it majorly sucks. I also think I might have implied that he slept around a lot." I peeked at Alice, but she didn't look like she was disappointed or disgusted. Instead, she looked like she understood a little of how I was feeling. It made me brave enough to continue.

"Obviously that was way out of line. I don't actually know a lot about who Edward's been with or gone out with, besides Tanya."

"First year of middle school. You were new. He was going out with Yasmin Bates. They used to hold hands a lot. Daring, for that age group. I remember because it was 'such a big deal' back then."

I wrinkled my forehead. "_Who_?"

"She moved to Canada shortly after you got here. If I remember correctly, it was why it didn't last."

I groaned, feeling like I may as well give up now while I was slightly ahead. "Fantastic! My best friend knows more about this boy than I do!"

Alice shook her head, reaching to take my hand and squeeze it firmly, emphasising her words. "No. No, Bella, that is not true," she said. "Others and I may know more about the social aspects of things, but I truly believe you know Edward far better than all that."

I placed my tea back on the table, crossing my arms over my chest as I slumped down further into the couch. "Hmph."

"Oh, come on. We were finally getting somewhere."

I sighed, but began talking again anyway.

"Edward got angry. I tried to backpedal. He told me that he actually had slept with her. I asked him to drive me home. We were silent. It was awful. I felt like crap. Now? Now I think I really want to get some sleep. I have a killer headache."

"Aw, Bella," Alice murmured. "I'm so sorry. If it makes you feel any better, Edward probably wasn't that angry."

I raised my eyebrows and gave her a pointed look. "Wanna bet? Sure, he wasn't shouting, but this is _Edward_ we're talking about. He could say 'I'm disappointed in you' and it would be horrible."

Alice still wasn't swayed. "Yes, we all know he's complete jelly around you. But do you want to know what I think?" She paused, but the question was rhetorical anyway. "I think Edward was more embarrassed than anything else. And, being a male and hormonal teenager, the first emotion that would come to the surface to hide this embarrassment would be . . ."

She looked at me, almost as if she was giving me the chance to answer, and then shrugged, unperturbed when I didn't. "Anger," she finished for me. "He would display anger." She shrugged, tossing imaginary hair over her shoulder. "That doesn't excuse the sucky-ness of it, however. I am not making excuses, merrily pointing out the specifics."

I sighed, rubbing my eye wearily with the back of my hand. "I hate men. I haven't even really had all that much to do with them, and I hate them."

Alice laughed genuinely, clearly getting enjoyment out of my sour tone. "Oh, Bella," she said kindly, not sounding the least bit condescending. "Girls can be pretty insane as well. I think it's just humans in general. We're pretty weird animals.

"However, I feel the need to point at one tiny fact: Hate the men, honey, it's up to you, but I think being aware of how straight Edward's been with you is fairly important."

I gave her a quizzical look. "What? You think Edward's gay?"

This just made her crack up again, only much more strongly than before, her whole body shaking as she giggled. "No, silly! I meant the fact that Edward's _straight_ with you—meaning he doesn't really send out _mixed__messages_ like some crazy boys do, and then expect you to understand how he feels! I'm going to stab Jerry if I ever see him again," she added in a sudden dark mutter, referring to the first boy she'd ever had a crush on.

Her face was turning a little stormy, so I hurried to respond, snapping her out of her reverie.

"I agree," I said. "But that just makes _me_ worried that I'm the one doing that. Sending mixed messages, I mean."

Alice pursed her lips in thoughtful consideration, and then tossed the idea out the window with a shake of her head.

"No," she said. "He knows you pretty well. Too well. There's no way even _your_ psycho-over-analysing-anxious-worrying could make him see past what you really want. He's pretty in tune with you. It's sickening to watch," she joked.

I sighed but didn't laugh. The implications of the evening were still weighing heavily on my mind. I knew it had been a while now, but I still couldn't believe the way the evening had turned out.

Facing Alice, hoping the tidal wave of gratitude I felt for her was showing in my eyes and wasn't swarmed out by the defeat, I said to her, "Thank you. Heaps. You are without a doubt the best person in the world."

She sighed dramatically. "Oh, I know. Aren't I just? You're so lucky to have me as a friend." She playfully nudged me and then grinned, but after a second her grin grew smaller into a smile and she said to me gently, "You're pretty special, Bell. I'm sorry about what happened tonight."

I felt like moping, but I shrugged instead and put on a casual face. "Hey, who knows. Maybe your tea really is magical after all and everything really will sort itself out."

"I wouldn't bet against it!" And she looked so trusting and optimistic and pleading that I couldn't help but give her a tired and exhausted smile.

That night, once I was lying under the covers in bed, I tried to keep my mind far away from thinking down avenues that involved a certain green-eyed individual and exactly how he made me feel.

* * *

I woke slowly, sleepy webs of long-forgotten dreams breaking away as I emerged from a surprisingly deep slumber. A part of me felt reluctant to open my eyes to the new day, but I couldn't remember why. Despite this, I felt peaceful and relaxed, thankful for having such a good rest.

It took a moment. One minute, there was nothing, and the next, it couldn't be remembered fast enough. I sat up in bed, my tightly tucked covers protesting, and stared at the opposite wall while I tried to figure out what I was going to do with myself today. For the first time in what felt like a century, but really wasn't all that long, my plans didn't involve Edward.

With this sinking acceptance, I shoved the covers down and climbed out of bed.

The house was quiet, which meant Alice wasn't up yet. I busied myself with making an omelette, humming very quietly under my breath which seemed to break apart the stillness and made me feel more at ease. Just as I was slipping the egg from the pan onto a plate, I heard the faint sound of my phone vibrating from my bedroom.

Completely taken aback, I paused to turn the stove off before hurrying to go fetch it. I was surprised; I'd temporarily forgotten its existence, not even thinking to take it with me last night. I was just slipping through the door when the silenced ringtone cut off, signalling the end of the call and most likely the beginning of my voicemail. Annoyed, I went to my bedside table and picked the phone up, puzzled as to whom was calling me.

The missed call registered on my phone didn't shock me. The number, indicating the caller, did. I supposed I should've figured it out. It wasn't that hard. But I honestly hadn't presumed he'd be calling me.

I stared at the screen for a long moment, deciding what to do. The fact that Edward had called me this morning made me feel both exhilarated and confused and hurt and touched and happy and scared.

There was more though. As I scrolled through my phone, I realised I had three more missed calls from the same number.

Which meant he'd been trying to get through to me all morning. The earliest call indicated it was just before seven o'clock the first time he'd run. I'd still been asleep.

And that was the moment when, phone still clasped in my hand, his text message came through, almost making me jump for I'd been so deep in speculation.

I hesitated, weighing up whether or not I should run away into the safe haven of Alice's room and force her to read it out to me instead, like the childish baby I truly was. But Alice was asleep, and I almost wanted to be the only one to read his message myself. I just hoped it wasn't what I feared it was. If it was anything along the lines of "We need to talk" I would chuck my phone in the trash or perhaps just delete it and pretend I'd never received such a thing, because I don't think I could handle that without collapsing back again into the dragging misery from last night.

Plus, it was just a fight, right? And it wasn't like we were . . . Going out or anything. So it wasn't like we could . . . Break up or anything.

Right?

Pausing for another second to settle my resolve, I ploughed on ahead and hit the button that allowed me to access the message.

I exhaled my breath in relief and simply stared at the screen for a long, timeless minute, trying to understand what he was thinking and what he precisely meant with these two simple words.

_I'm sorry._

I was sorry, too. And if we were both apparently sorry, why they hell had this happened in the first place? Why couldn't we both have realised what we were doing was stupid and pointless and just . . . stopped?

I felt like crap. Last night had the possibility of being one of the most perfect nights of my life, and it now wasn't and probably never would be. I wanted to respond to his simple message, call him back, anything, but I couldn't. I wasn't quite sure what to say.

I didn't know how to talk through what had happened with him. Not through the phone.

When Alice finally emerged from her chambers twenty minutes later, groggy and mussed all over, she caught me sitting on the couch with the home phone now clasped in my hand.

Her eyes appraised me for a long second, almost as if she was trying to remember something or was waiting for me to disappear. Finally, she narrowed her eyes and nodded her head slowly.

"I take it you're calling Edward?"

And surprising the both of us, I shook my head.

"No," I told her. "I'm going to finally do what I promised to do a week ago: I'm calling Renee."

**I know a lot didn't happen this chapter. Don't worry, the next one will be up in a week or two :)**

** I finish school in three days! (I am slightly excited.)**


	36. Funeral

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

36. Funeral

Saturday slugged by torturously slow. I wish it hadn't. It had felt like life itself was kicking my face in, trying to prove cruelly just how pathetic everything the world had to offer seemed without Edward somehow involved with it.

And I know, I know. I didn't want to be one of those girls who ended up so desperately dependent on a guy that she can't do anything without him. The truth was, I had no trouble at all doing things without him. That was what was so _frustrating_.

It wouldn't necessarily have been good, but it certainly would have been fitting if my life had changed in some palpable way since Friday night. That was the way things were in the movies. Dramatic and life-altering. Instead, everything except for me was completely and stubbornly _normal_. Washing my hair and getting dressed and cooking dinner; yeah, totally sentimental tasks that shattered my weak and teary composure to fragmented shards, proving how useless and feminine I was.

Whatever. I still couldn't help but hum a bar of a melody under my breath as I stood beneath the showerhead.

Everything was normal. Everything but me.

Because, deep down, I knew I wasn't accepting things the way they were, accepting defeat, accepting we'd had a fight. I mean, it was an _argument_. Happily married couples had dozens of them daily. It's probably considered healthy. Healthier than not-ever-fighting would be, anyway.

Surprisingly, Renee hadn't been all that torn up over my delayed call yesterday. She was . . . understanding. And concerned. Not for me—I hadn't gathered enough courage yet to so much as whisper Edward's name—but for herself and her . . . baby. All I knew was that there were some 'complications'. She hadn't really delved too deep into that one, and I didn't really know too much about pregnancy to come up with my own in-depth hypothesis. The whole baby thing kind of freaked me out, period. Add in the fact this was my mum . . . I didn't really want to go there.

Of course, I had mentioned Edward eventually. I wasn't the type of girl who openly discussed her latest crushes with her mother; I couldn't remember a time before when I'd actually been the one to volunteer this type of information in our relationship. Renee was surprisingly understanding, though. And not half as jumpy and/or nosey as I'd expected her to be. Maybe she sensed this was a pretty sensitive subject for me—I didn't normally ask for help or advice or a patient ear.

"Is he cute? Oh my gosh, he's really good-looking, isn't he, Bella? I can just tell," she mused when I'd managed to somehow convey to her that I'd gone out on a date the other night. "Ugh . . . let me guess," she said eagerly. "He's . . . Hm. Smart. But not in a bookish way—you're the bookworm. No, he's smart in a different way. And he's a lot more relaxed and easy about things than you. Am I right?"

I'd nearly dropped the phone. Suspicious that she'd been torturing information out of an all-too-willing Alice, I asked, "How did you know that?"

Renee had laughed. "Yes, so I am right."

"He is"—gorgeous funny hot confident sweet nice caring—"smart."

The suspicion was still evident in my voice. I could almost hear my mother's grin on the other end of the phone as she said, "A mother knows,' rather slyly.

"In all seriousness though, it's pretty basic," she continued after a moment. "It's like putting two and two together. I can't imagine you agreeing to go out with someone who wasn't like that."

This caused a slight flicker of surprise within me. Clearly, Renee knew me better than I thought.

Then I told her the date hadn't ended so well. She was pretty sympathetic, but assured me it wasn't a big deal.

"People argue all the time," she said. "I know it sounds so simple and unhelpful, but the best piece of advice I can give you is to not worry about it. You're too young; life is too short. He'll come round."

I didn't mention the fact he'd tried to call me. Or the simple little message he'd sent me. That was my information and I wanted to keep it to myself.

So, twenty minutes later after promising to give her a ring in a week's time again, I got off the phone feeling slightly better. The whole drama over the Florida trip seemed way behind me—behind both of us. My mother may not have always gone about things in life the right way, but she meant well no matter which direction she took things from.

By that stage, Alice was nearly ready to leave. She'd had work and had slinked off into the depths of her room to give me some privacy when I'd called. Giving me a tight hug and a pinch on the inside of my elbow, she bumped her hip to mine and said boldly, "Go sexy yourself up a bit. Feel special. I'll be home around five."

I probably hadn't filled out her laid out criteria to her standards; I'd painted my nails though. Today, there they were, shiny and perfect and red.

It was now currently nine o'clock in the morning. And I was standing in front of the mirror stuck on the back of the closet door again; a seemingly reoccurring spot for me these days. Hands on hips, looking more confident then I felt, I stared at the girl in the mirror who stared back with extra oomph, uncharacteristic ruby-painted lips matching her day-old manicure. Dressed in smart clothing all similar shades of darkness, with the front section of my hair pinned up carefully at the top of my head away from my face, I felt ready for what I was going to do.

Grabbing my bag in one hand and my cell phone in the other, I turned my back from the reflection, knowing there was a place I had to be.

* * *

I wasn't late, thank God. The reception had just begun from what I could tell as I hurried up the last stretch of the path and came to the large glass doors. I paused, hanging back a bit, allowing another couple to enter first before me and slipping in silently behind them, remembering to give a small and polite smile at the lady standing just inside with copies of the programme; I hadn't completely left my head behind at home.

I was flustered and nervous and more than a little scared, but I followed the concession—now dwindling as the ceremony was about to begin—inside another set of doors, into the room where everyone was gathered.

It was packed. That was my first thought and small surprise; the large hall was filled to the brim with grave-looking people, people of all ages and ethnicities snagging the last seats left vacant without the slightest sense of urgency or rush. No, these people were polite, and slow, and sad.

I'd promised Edward I'd go to his grandfather's funeral with him. I didn't want to be the one to let him down in such a weak way simply because our Friday evening together hadn't ended as smoothly as hoped. Even though I was glad I was here, it didn't mean I didn't feel out of place. I hadn't been to a funeral since the passing of my grandmother, and I'd been nine then and ushered along by my family.

This was different to that time in more than one way. There was about seven times the amount of people present here right now than had been for my grandmother. This service was rich and decadent and most likely extremely expensive. And this time, I was surrounded by complete strangers.

I bit back that thought as soon as it had formed in my head. Because my eyes had been scanning the crowd as I stood somewhat awkwardly to the back of the room, right up against the wall, making these assessments. And they had found, right up the front of the hall in the first line of seats, the people I'd been looking for.

The person I'd been looking for.

And it was like the most comforting knowledge in the world, being aware of his presence, knowing he was there near me, after everything and anything; seeing him and being powerful in the knowledge that he'd see me soon enough, too. His hair looked darker in the dim lighting, more brown than ever before, but just as extraordinary as it always was.

Next to him was Emmett, distinguishable by the enormity of him, and on the other side to the right I was fairly positive it was Esme. Naturally, Carlisle was seated right by her side. I thought I could make out the woman I'd been introduced to at Edward's house earlier on in the week as the widowed Mrs. Cullen, but everyone else (and there were a _lot_ of 'everyone else') was a stranger to me.

I didn't have the nerve or audacity to sidle up to the front and make my presence known. What right did I have, anyway? That place was reserved for family. Instead, I managed to find a seat at the very back row spare and sat down next to some man sitting with his wife and kids, right as the lights began to dim and a sweet and sad song played out loudly throughout the hall, reverberating across the stretch of space as people's murmurings died off and became subdued.

The ceremony was beautiful. I was no longer nervous, no longer worried or anxious. Thoughts of the Edward predicament didn't hold any merit for the moment, for they were petty little things that didn't belong here, in this hall, surrounded by loved ones' memories and recollections of the man they had all lost. It was a collection of grief, of remembrance, and of joy—a celebration of the impact this grandfather had had on the lives of those around him.

I watched Edward throughout it, ever now and then. When my eyes found the back of his head—so unmistakeable to me I was sure I could have picked it out with ease in a stadium full of thousands—I felt a burning feeling spread all over my body, but it wasn't unpleasant—just scary. And I didn't care that he didn't know I was there yet. The fact was, I was here, even if he wasn't aware of that fact; it still felt important to me to be there, to be some form of support in any way I could manage, to look on at this beautiful boy and his lovely family and just feel how incredibly lucky I was to be a part of that, even in a very small way.

Widowed Mrs. Cullen went up to speak, but she didn't get very far before she had to sit down again. Still, her story she shared, albeit broken, was a beautiful one, depicting a different time and era when she'd first laid eyes on her future husband. And you could see that she loved him; every word she spoke, every line on her face, every expression she had, all said the same story.

Carlisle spoke too. I'd only met him once, of course, but it was easy to see why Edward looked up to him in the way he did. There was something so steady and _true_ about him. People listened when he spoke. People heard what it was that he was saying, the message that he was giving.

It lasted around an hour, give or take. I lost myself a bit in the surrounding atmosphere, my head filled with too much to handle, the music and sorrows weighing down heavily against me. When a lady stood up at the podium to announce that guests were welcome to gather outside for light refreshments, the gathering began to break up as the ceremony had clearly come to an end.

I stood up, suddenly feeling the nerves come back to kick in again with extra force. I wanted to go to Edward straight away, but I hung back again, because the close family members were talking quietly among themselves, some of the first to leave through a new set of doors that led outside to the stunningly beautiful gardens. I followed along the progression slowly, not allowing myself to feel strange and out-of-place. Apart from the immediate Cullens, I still didn't recognize anyone I knew.

There was a huge marquee set up on the lush green lawn, fresh flowers in bold colours of purple, red and yellow in full bloom. Chairs were set out in one long row towards the back edge of shade the canopy provided, elderly guests already positioned on most of them. Little tables of food and coffee and several other beverages were scattered around the place, even more flowers present. And I was a little taken aback, because the surroundings didn't look the slightest bit mournful; they were bright and cheery and beautiful.

Finding conversation wasn't hard. It seemed that a funeral brought out the best in people: here I was, standing by myself towards the outskirts of things, and a lady in a dark blue dress with a small child clinging to her legs had asked me kindly how I knew Mr. Cullen.

Briefly, I thought she was somehow referring to Edward, until sense smacked me in the face and I realised it was his grandfather she was meaning.

"I don't really know him that much at all, really," I confessed with a bit of a light, embarrassed laugh, hoping I didn't come off as one of the worst types of party-crashers out there.

"He was a great man," the lady said, smiling warmly at me and reassuring me with her voice that I was fine. "He achieved a lot in his lifetime; it's a terrible shame it had to end."

Her daughter tugged on the hem of her dress, and she laughed, looking down. "This here is Annabelle," she explained, giving the toddler the obviously sought-after attention she wanted. She bent down to hoist her up on her hip, turning her absent-mindedly from side-to-side.

"I'm Claire," she continued.

"Bella," I said, smiling at the young girl whose strawberry blonde hair was done up neatly in two tiny pigtails. She stared back at me, eyes wide. "Your daughter's beautiful."

"Oh, she knows it, too," Claire laughed, looking down at her briefly before returning her eyes to my face. "Actually, she's behaved wonderfully this morning, I'm very proud of her."

We talked for a few more minutes before Claire politely excused herself, taking little Annabelle away with her. I had my eye on Edward, but lost him briefly amongst the crowd. The last time I'd seen him was with Emmett and Carlisle; the family were all together, greeting various people and exchanging hugs and murmured words of encouragement to each other—something I definitely didn't want to interrupt.

In fact, the more time that passed, the less-resolved I felt in my decision to see him. What if it only brought back up a lot of crap? Wouldn't it be kinder to postpone that sort of confrontation to another time, another day, another venue? How selfish was I, really? It didn't seem like there was ever going to be a good time to interrupt, to march up and see him, to stand there and stare and say "Hi".

I went to get a drink, my mind already away from here, at the front of the lot, where I could call a taxi for a ride home.

I never claimed to be anything but a coward.

My shaky escape plans were sullied, however, when I heard his voice. It seemed that his voice could stop me, could halt me even if I was in the midst of trying to save my own life. Not that I was currently attempting anything quite that dramatic, but I was willing to bet a large sum of money that if I psycho murdered was running my way, and he spoke in Edward's voice—yeah, I would be pretty much screwed.

"I can't believe you came."

Those words, his voice, lapping gently and calmly against the back of my neck, trickling down my back, made me freeze for a second. As soon as I gained my composure, I set the glass of chilled water back down on the table and turned, amazed that my face was perfectly composed and my body contently relaxed; nothing about me relayed the way that my heartbeat jumped around erratically and my head kept telling me I didn't want to breathe.

"I promised I would, didn't I?" I said, even as my eyes took his form in. His long, tall, beautiful form. His face was drawn, whether from exhaustion or the circumstances we were swathed in, I couldn't tell. But his eyes were the same; still that burning, vivid green of honesty and eternity. He was dressed in black formal clothing—it made me swallow, my mouth suddenly dry.

"I didn't think . . . Well, I didn't think it mattered anymore," he murmured, both hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched. His stance was still powerful, but it was stilted by embarrassment and uncertainty—two things that were very rare to see on Edward Cullen. It made him seem younger, more like the teenager he really was.

His words made my hand clench tighter around my bag where my cell phone was stashed, his unanswered calls and message suddenly seeming to weigh ten pounds each.

We stared at each other for a moment, both not quite sure what to say. I'd always hated the way people explained things in a book, wrote cliché lines like "the rest of the world ceased to exist," because I never really thought it was true. Now, I wasn't so certain. I was aware there _was_ a rest of the world, sure, but it seemed very far away, sort of an abstract concept. I no longer cared that we were at a funeral or that there were swarms of people around us or that his family was nearby. All I really cared about was the fact that I hadn't seen him all weekend and that it really sucked and that I was sorry and regretted the way things had turned out and I was angry that everything seemed normal when in reality, everything was totally messed up and horrible.

I opened my mouth to speak at the same time he did.

We both paused, an awkward smile on my face, apology on his. Finally, he seemed to get the message that I was waiting for him to speak.

"Esme told me you were here," he said, and although this wasn't exactly the most brilliant response and didn't exactly cover the things we needed to talk about, I was happy for it to continue. "Actually," he continued, more hesitant, "she said, 'There's someone here waiting for you.'"

I smiled a little at that, suddenly feeling quite shy, like I didn't quite know who I was or who I wanted to be. I was pretty sure I was taking the cue off Edward, who looked less sure of himself every second that went by.

It was such a disconcerting thing to watch and take part in that I immediately attempted to jump in and try to salvage something.

Unfortunately, as soon as I went to speak, Edward attempted to say something, and we both stopped again for the second time.

This time, we both laughed weakly.

"Okay," Edward said, apparently deciding that this was ridiculous and that being tentative would have to wait. "You speak first."

I crossed my arms over my chest, reaching to tuck a strand of hair back and realising too late that the front of my hair was all pinned up and there was nothing there to touch. I cleared my throat a little. "I'm sorry for your loss?"

It came out like a question, like I was asking permission or checking to see if this was right. It made Edward laugh again; still quiet, but building from the one before.

"Your condolences are noted," he said formerly with a nod, but the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile was on his face that he seemed to almost want to keep hidden from me, his eyes not quite meeting mine.

I loved it. I loved everything about him. It was then, standing right there, that I realised that it didn't matter to me whatever had happened with him and other people before he knew me. The thing that mattered was who he was _now_; what type of person he was, how he made me feel. And I knew that everything in his past would have had to happen for him to be who he was.

I also knew that learning about things that had already happened didn't change anything; he was still going to the same person. He was still him, and nothing could really change that.

Just like nothing could really change how I felt about him.

"Edward . . ." I began, looking up at his face. "I'm really sorry about Friday. About what happened. I know that I . . ."

But he was shaking his head, grimacing. "Bella, don't," he said, waiting until I stopped. "Really, don't. You didn't do anything wrong and the more you apologise, the bigger a dickhead I become."

I tried to keep a straight face, but I failed miserably. "Oh, so you've got a big one, do you?" I said, and then giggled at the look on his face and the absurdity of me saying something like that. "Sorry, sorry," I mumbled, still chuckling lightly. "Moment of extreme immaturity is passing, I promise."

But he just grinned, a big, Edward grin, the type of grin you missed without realising it, not one to get embarrassed over such comments. "And here I was, thinking I was the only one who had problems with indecent thoughts," he laughed. "I missed you."

This he said with complete sincerity, and it made me feel all warm inside. "I missed you, too."

He was still smiling, but he took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair as he exhaled, attempting to become completely serious once more. I, too, tried to compose myself, knowing there was a lot more that needed to be said.

"Look, you really need to know a few things," Edward said, all seriousness now. "I felt awful Friday night once you'd left. I kept going through everything that happened and—"

"It was sort of wrong of me to ask you something so personal like that the way I did," I cut him off. I had intended to be extremely patient, but it felt important to get that out as quickly as possible. "And you were right, I mean, it isn't really any of my business and—"

"I didn't mean that," Edward murmured, so quietly it was hard to distinguish what he was saying. Confused, I cut my rambling off short before it really came to life, waiting for him to elaborate.

"I mean," he said, and I was amazed to note that the tips of his ears appeared to be turning pink. _Edward_, the boy who seemed to have no ends to his store of self-confidence and experience, was beginning to _blush_ in front of me. "It—I kind of want it to be your business."

I think I was gaping. I didn't mean to, but it took a long second for that to properly sink in as I stared, not grasping the meaning behind his words.

"You want—you mean . . . Oh." I felt stupid and embarrassed; Edward, for once, seemed to be in the same boat.

"I know I acted terribly," he rushed to continue, clearly wanting to focus my attention on something else. I blinked, trying to keep up with him and to yank my thoughts away from hovering over what he just confessed moments before. "I just felt so incredibly—stuck. I didn't want you to know. I mean, I know you have every right to know and I didn't want to lie to you, but I didn't want you to think . . . I just . . . I haven't even spoken to her in months," he finished in a jumbled manner. "We were fifteen and she's not even from around here and we stayed in contact over the years distantly but never . . ."

"It's okay," I said, wanting him to stop, hating seeing him so frantic and desperate, my mind still stuck on _his_ business and how he wanted it to be _my_ business and how he had been fifteen and wasn't that sort of young and what did that mean and how young had he been when he'd first _. . ._?

"Why don't we talk about it later?" I suggested, suddenly conscious of the people around us. I guess in the long run I didn't really care about what they heard or what they thought, but I still didn't want to focus on this sticky business when we were here in this setting.

Edward exhaled, nodding slowly. "Sure." But his face still looked troubled.

"So are you feeling alright?" I asked gently after a moment, my eyes ranging over his face, trying to discern what lay there behind the momentary melancholy our conversation had brought up. "How is your family?"

Edward shrugged, a small smile on his lips as he looked down at me intently, like I was all that really mattered. "I'm fine, really. My family's over there if you want to—"

"Yeah, I do," I agreed, nodding my head resolutely. "Do you think they'd mind? I mean, am I allowed to just . . .?"

He stared at me for a second, his smile growing wider and warmer, something secret apparently fuelling it. It made it impossible for me to do anything but stare right on back. Finally, he replied, "You don't need permission. Seriously. I think Esme wants to see you pretty badly, actually."

I nodded, my eyes glancing behind his tall form, trying to find where they'd all gone. "That's good then . . ."

"They're over here," Edward said, thoughtlessly wrapping his hand gently around the skin above my elbow to turn me in the right direction. I silently thrilled at the contact—it seemed like a lifetime since I'd touched him, even in the most casual way, so I didn't object at all when he kept his hand there, looking down into my eyes.

"I've got to warn you . . ." he began, eyes shifting over towards the Cullens. There were a lot more there than I'd met earlier this week at his house.

"What is it?" I asked, my eyes following his before glancing back his way.

He cleared his throat, and then grinned. "My family is nuts."

I laughed, rolling my eyes. "Everyone's are. And from what I've met of yours, they're lovely anyway." I went to walk towards them; Edward's hand dropped and he immediately kept in pace with me, eyes earnestly on my face as he hurried to explain things.

"No, really," he insisted. "My other grandfather is a nightmare. And my cousins—just ignore them. All of them. Whatever they say, it's a lie. _Especially_ if it's about me. And don't feel bad if my Great Aunt bursts into tears in an attempt to make you feel bad—she's been doing that all day," he spieled off hurriedly as we walked. We were close to them now: I could see Esme and she turned around to smile warmly at me.

Edward insistently pulled on my arm, making me stop. He stood before me and I reluctantly pulled my eyes away from his adoptive mother to glance up at him and his worried face, trying not to laugh.

"And Bella?" he said, deadly serious now. "I'm apologising in advance on behalf of my aunt. Esme's younger sister Medora—she's . . . evil." He made a face, and I couldn't help it; I burst into laughter.

"It's alright!" I insisted, patting his arm comfortingly. I was about to turn to go to his mother (who raised her eyebrows in acknowledgment at me when our faces met) when he stopped me again. This time, I whirled around, hands on hips, amusement alive on my face.

"_What_, Edward?" I was sure Esme was watching us, probably waiting and horribly confused at this twisted dance we were displaying in front of everyone.

"I mean it, Bella," he said quietly. "Just ignore her, she has some serious issues and I'm fairly certain she's having one of her 'bad days'. You're—You are beautiful, alright? And she's the most unpopular relative in existence."

I opened my mouth to say something, but realised I was speechless. Thinking he was overreacting and exaggerating, but too flattered at what he just said to point it out, I nodded my head wordlessly at him.

Just how bad could this lady be? I was a bit confused as to why Edward felt the need to assure me of my looks, but too thrilled to really delve deeply into the whys.

Edward visibly relaxed. Sighing in what seemed like relief, he straightened his shoulders and set his jaw. "Alright then," he murmured. "Let's do this."

I couldn't help but smile at him, this strangely beautiful boy who looked like he was preparing himself for a battle. When he met my eyes, he relaxed even more, a crooked grin coming onto his face in recognition of my own beam, probably realising he was overreacting.

Feeling more at ease now, I smiled at him for a minute longer before turning back around again.

Esme was waiting. With a special smile of her own on her face, she stepped forwards to meet me, elegantly done up in a way that made her beauty shine.

"Ah, Bella," she said warmly, and I realised that although her face was happy, her eyes were still slightly sad. "I'm so glad you came."

* * *

**It's short, I know :) But it felt right to end it here. Obviously, B and E still have a fair bit to talk through. I hope nobody objects to their long-winded conversations; I assure you, it won't just be talking that takes place . . . (If I could do an evil, suggestive laugh without sounding like an idiot, it would be inserted right here.)**

**If I don't get back on here before Christmas, I hope everybody has a safe and happy holiday :)**

**I will definitely be seeing you (well, not technically, but you know what I mean) before the New Year.**

**-love Lina**


	37. Family Relations

**Okay, soooo not my fault that I lied. About updating, I mean. I'd written over half this chapter by Christmas and I would have had it up and ready well before the 31st, but I've been away for the past three weeks unexpectedly and have hardly had time to shower.**

**Having said that, I hope 2011 brings you all health, happiness and prosperity :)**

**_Note: This isn't the best update to grace you all with. Just so you're all sufficiently warned, it's a half-hearted attempt and I am aware of this._**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS. _

37. Family Relations

_Esme was waiting. With a special smile of her own on her face, she stepped forwards to meet me, elegantly done up in a way that made her beauty shine._

"_Ah, Bella," she said warmly, and I realised that although her face was happy, her eyes were still slightly sad. "I'm so glad you came."_

I smiled back at her; it was so impossible to feel awkward in front of such an accepting person. Edward was by my side but left just enough room between us so that it was not intrusive when Esme warmly embraced me, like we'd known each other for years and not just the few days it had actually been.

She smelled fantastic. Was that an odd thing to notice? Instead of dwelling on this thought, I leant back and said, "I wouldn't miss it for the world." Then, realising this could sound rather callous considering the situation and what we were all gathered here for, I hastened to add in a jumbled manner, "Not. I mean, not like that. It came out wrong. I didn't mean—"

But Esme just brushed away my words with an easy wave of her hand, completely understanding. "Can I get you something to drink?" she offered kindly, allowing the river of our exchange to flow smoothly past my hiccup, for which I was grateful—if left up to me, we would have floundered helplessly in the rapids until we eventually all drowned.

"No, thank you, I'm fine."

Esme turned her head to look at her son, her lips turned up a little at the corners in mild amusement. It wasn't until she did this that I realised how her grief mingled in the background of her expression, weighing down her fine features even as she smiled.

"I thought you were never going to get here," she said to him, raising her eyebrows. "You looked very childish before, dancing around the place with Bella. If I hadn't known better, I'd almost think that you were a little apprehensive of her meeting us all again." The warmth in her face delivered the words with the grand force of a bubble; they were light little jibes that didn't mean a thing.

Still, Edward looked slightly abashed. "Sorry," he said, hands in his pockets as he looked down at his mother. "We were just—"

She brushed this away too. "I was only joking. To be honest, it's lovely for me to see both of you like that. Sometimes I think you kids grow up too fast."

I glanced at Edward, and I could see what she meant. He looked . . . Well, rather mature. Definitely older than seventeen, especially dressed in such formalised clothing; I loved seeing him in the dark colours he usually preferred, loved the way they looked against his features. Esme was definitely right. Half the time, I forgot we were both still in high school. I forgot how _young_ I really was in the great scheme of things. I guess it wasn't until you were much older that you realised, reflecting back, how little you really were at the time things took place. Going through it—well, I felt ancient.

There was a moment of silence as I took her words in, let them sink through my consciousness; Edward stayed quiet, too, apparently having no ready reply to her words.

"Well," Esme said after a pause, looking to me, "Edward will have to bring you around to see Carlisle and I soon. It would be wonderful to see you under light circumstances for once."

I could feel Edward's apprehension at her words from beside me; ignoring him—honestly, his embarrassment was totally unnecessary—I smiled at Esme. She really was lovely. Under normal circumstances, I would have confirmed and agreed to her suggestion right away, but Edward and I still had a fair bit to sort through at the moment and I didn't think it was the right time to freely agree to a sort of commitment like that.

If this caused an air of awkwardness, Esme didn't show it. She just smiled all the more warmly and reached out to touch my arm briefly.

We were interrupted by the loud clearing of a throat, so loud I knew immediately it hadn't come from Edward. All three of us turned to face the noise, equally surprised, and I came face-to-face with Edward's older brother, Emmett, who was standing in front of a beautiful woman with a bit of a frown on his face.

"Emmett—" Esme began, but she didn't get to finish whatever it was that she was going to say before Emmett spoke up.

"Sorry to spoil this," he said, sounding like he was trying with some difficulty to sound calm and collected as he looked hardly at his mother, eyes skipping straight past Edward and me. He put on a brightly fake smile. "I am just here ever-so-lovingly to escort our beloved family member, the prestigious Medora-Fae, to your charming self, for said enchanting family member requested to speak to you immediately and seems incapable of finding you herself." He stepped back, allowing the woman to step forwards, who threw Emmett a haughty look over her shoulder.

"You know, darling, I liked you a lot better once upon a time when you weren't able to talk."

Emmett rocked back on his heels pleasantly. "Oh, I'm sorry, and how old where you back then? Thirty-five?"

The woman looked like she was about to retort with something, but Esme spoke firmly instead. "Thank you, Emmett," she said, looking to her eldest son with raised eyebrows, patting his arm comfortingly in a motherly way. "You may return to whatever it was you were doing before."

Emmett nodded, turned his head Edward's and my way, and winked at me as we caught eyes before turning around to leave.

Esme then smiled at the newcomer, and I tore my gaze from Emmett's retreating back, getting a good look at her for the first time. She looked out of place, here at this funeral, dressed so chicly in expensive materials, dark sunglasses blocking out most of her face. She wasn't by any means tall, but her presence was just as powerful as Emmett's had been before. And the thing that seemed wrong about her was the severe amounts of her perfection; looking at her for more than just a second, you could gaze right through her beauty and notice that it was all . . . wrong.

She was clearly younger than Esme, a fair bit younger, with lighter hair (the golden highlights to it shimmering as she moved) and sharper features. She wore an extremely dark purple, tight-fitting pencil skirt that looked more expensive than my entire outfit combined, teamed with an ivory blouse made from some sort of organza that had pearls sewn onto the front of it for embellishment. Nails matching her skirt, golden stilettos on her feet and a similarly hued clutch in her hand, she looked like a model stepped right off the pages of a Vogue magazine.

She made me look comparatively homeless.

"Esme," the woman said with a bit of a sigh, sounding a little put-out. "You just disappeared before, I had no idea where you went . . . Daddy's knocked into the table of crystal glasses and there's a bit of a mess. I didn't want to deal with it, you _know_ how I am handling nasty caterers and—"

"Hold on just a moment," Esme interrupted smoothly, holding her hand up to stem the flow of her words. "I don't want to be rude, and I realise you haven't met Bella yet." Her upheld hand moved gently in the direction of my body, and I watched, transfixed, as this woman's face moved in turn with it until she was finally staring my way.

"Medora, this here is Bella, Edward's friend. Bella, this is Medora, my sister."

_Sister_? In what universe? That title seemed like a mistake, but I knew that I had seen the word fall from her mouth, seen her lips shape the vowels. I tried to not let my surprise show, but a part of me wanted to stop time itself so I could be free to stare in open astonishment as I tried comparing the two without anyone else noticing what I was doing.

The smile I gave her was small, shy; hers didn't even make it to her face. As Esme introduced me, Medora simply lifted her chin up to stare at me with absolute stillness, eventually pushing her oversized designer sunglasses up onto her head to get a better look.

"Charmed," she said after a pause, eyes still on me. And then the smile did come. It was short and tight and somehow overly-sweet. Her eyes flicked to Edward carelessly. "Good to see you, Edward, darling."

Edward was silent beside me, and I stiffened a little in surprise when I felt his hand reach out to rest at the small of my back. Strangely (and nicely) enough, he left it there, in front of his mother and his apparent aunt, hardly seeming fazed at all by the movement. I, on the other hand, was enjoying it immensely and was trying to control the muscles in my face from displaying this.

Medora drew her attention back to her sister.

"So . . . The whole Dad-incident? You'll sort it out? I told the man I would be back in a moment with someone to take care of it. I don't think he agreed, but I left, anyway." She flicked her hair over her shoulder. "You might want to hurry."

Esme's brow furrowed a bit. "You couldn't have smoothed things over yourself? It's really no big deal, we just need to—"

"I couldn't understand a word that man was saying, honest, Esme," Medora insisted, her voice sweet and girly and whiny. "He must be Indian or something. Possibly Russian. I don't know. I got all confused, and flustered, and he was getting angry and…" She trailed off, shrugging her shoulders, and then pushing the strap of her Gucci handbag back onto her shoulder when it slipped. "You're an amazing angel; I _knew_ you'd be able to help."

Esme sighed. "Well—"

"I'll take care of Daddy, alright?" Medora said, reaching out and grabbing Esme's hand. "Please, please, _please_? I'm here with Michael right now and he's probably looking for me . . ."

Esme nodded. "No, of course I will. I'll be there in just a moment."

"Argh, yes, thank you!" she gratified, swooping in a little to peck Esme's cheek. "I brought my dog along with me, too, but I got told at the beginning of the ceremony that he apparently wouldn't be allowed inside, even if he stayed in my arms, so Michael, being a dear, put him in his car. But I'm a little worried about the poor thing, he's not been the same since I came down for a visit last so I think Michael and I might be ducking out soon, a little early." She stepped back, slipping her sunglasses down to cover her face once more. "I'll let Daddy know, but then I'm off."

"You will make sure our father's with Madge first, okay?"

"Sure, sure, thanks again, darling, the mess is this way—"

"Just a minute." Esme turned to me with an apologetic smile, and Medora paused, seeming surprised, apparently having forgotten my existence as she stared on in the background, hands on hips.

"I'm so sorry our conversation has been cut short, Bella," Esme said sincerely. "If it seems rude that I'm—"

"We can talk to you later, Mum," Edward pointed out.

"I know, but I don't want to force the pair of you into that. This atmosphere can get a little stuffy after a while; nobody would hold it against you if you wanted to leave, get out of here." She smiled. "Go have fun, okay?"

"So how do you know each other?" Medora added, stepping in a little closer, her hands now changing to cross impressively over her equally impressive chest. Her eyebrows were raised in identical arrogance to her chin as she peered over at Edward and I; she displayed just enough casual disinterest and distaste that the question could not be mistaken for politeness or, heaven forbid, real interest.

"Oh, just school, really," I answered her, refusing to be intimidated by this woman, especially with Esme and Edward by my side. I looked up into Edward's face for confirmation. He looked down at me and smiled.

This seemed to finally pique a slight flash of real interest in Medora. "Oooh, lovely, so you'll know Tanya, won't you?" she said without so much as a smile, eyebrows inching up her forehead even more.

"Medora," Esme murmured quietly, but Medora's eyes didn't even flick so much in her direction.

This took me aback completely; of all the things I imagined falling out of her mouth, this was way off base. How did she even know who Tanya was? Judging by the three frozen expressions around me, this was clearly a loaded question that I didn't know how to correctly read.

"I—Um, well sure, I know her but . . ."

"Tanya has nothing to do with anything," Edward spoke up, and his voice had finality to it. Esme gave me a small, vague smile, and I had a feeling that she wasn't quite on the same page as Edward seemed to be, either.

Medora, though. Medora seemed to pick up things from Edward's tone that even I didn't. Her eyes narrowed on what could presumably be the protectiveness I'd detected in Edward's words, her face an unreadable mask of harsh beauty.

She tilted her head up, half shrugging one shoulder in false disinterest. "Whatever, then, darling. Just remember the lovely we conversation we had last time we were together, alright? There are a _lot of girls_ . . . that aren't half as pretty as this one." She gave me a sickly sweet smile, said, "_Bella_", pushed her sunglasses up with the hand that possessed a large diamond ring and with a twirl of hair was already moving away from us all.

Esme glanced at her sister, already a few metres away, and then shook her head, giving me a bewildered expression when she looked back at us. Then, apparently in a bit of a time restriction, shrugged it off and pulled me in close for a brief hug.

"Hope to see you again soon, Bella," she murmured. "Thank you for coming."

After reaching up to touch Edward's cheek, Esme was gone, too.

And when Edward looked down at me, the lines on his forehead still present from whatever had gone on with his aunt, I barely thought at all as I reached up to smooth them away with my fingertips.

"I'm sorry about her," Edward said lowly, and I knew to whom he was referring to. His hand caught mine and brought it back down, squeezing my fingers gently as he tugged one side of his lips up in an empty smile. "I told you she was horrible."

I nodded slowly. "Mmm. She scares me," I admitted. "It's embarrassing, but it's the truth." I gave a small grin and shrugged. "But it's not like it was _that_ bad."

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head, and I let out an uncharacteristic giggle, clearly giddy from just being around him without an audience.

"Come on," Edward said decisively, pulling me a little closer. He seemed to have gotten over his qualms about keeping his distance from me, being careful and picky over his words. I was glad, because he wasn't really like Edward when he was filtering himself like that in front of me. "Let's get out of here."

"Now?" I asked bewilderedly.

He nodded. "Yes, definitely now. Let's just . . . up and leave. Go for a drive. Go somewhere. It doesn't matter what or where, I just think . . ."

But he didn't need to say anything more, because I understood him perfectly and the reasons behind his sudden desperation to run away from the world around us. And I knew it would be hard, talking about the things we really needed to sort out, but I knew that I could do it; it all came down to how hard you wanted something. And I didn't think I'd ever wanted something more before in my life.

So when I agreed, I was smiling. And as we said a quick and short goodbye to Carlisle, who, as I clumsily delivered my condolences, surprised me by kissing me on the cheek with a strong and saddened fervour, I felt both anxious and prepared for what we needed to do.

XXXXX

**My shortest update ever, especially after such a stretch of time, but I'm scared of losing your interest so I thought it was better to give you this than nothing at all. If I'm wrong in my judgment, do forgive. However, the next part is already half-written so it REALLY, TRULY shouldn't be that long before it's up, too.**

**Is there anything in particular you want to see happening? (The storyline's in my head, but I'm just curious.)**

**Promise that after the next chapter, Edward and Bella will have everything sorted out perfectly between them ;)**

**X**

**Just proof that I have actually written a large chunk of the next chapter:**

_**I stared across at him, at the planes of his face, the dips and curves and lines, so harsh and hard and impossibly soft at the same time. Particularly soft, especially right now as he stared back at me, not speaking a word either but simply just looking. The warmth from the fire we sat near bathed both our faces in a bit of a dim orange glow, and had me feeling relaxed and at home, away from the rest of the world, tucked up in the private little corner where it was possible to forget about everything and anything and allowed us to simply be with each other. It seemed a lifetime that we sat like that, in perfect harmony with one another, perfect sync, sharing a silent exchange that went unsullied by voiced conversation. **_

_**Of course, moments like those always come to their own little end. I suppose it made it all the more precious while it lasted, something to treasure and admire because it never really could be infinite; life made other plans.**_

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	38. Moving On to Take a New Step

**So I'm actually equally scared and delighted to be back here, finally.**

**I apologise profusely to everyone for the gap; the dry spell has, thankfully, gone away now and I fully intend to get right back in here and get this story finished :) For anyone who has given up on this story, it's alright, I understand; it can be awful trying to get back into something after a prolonged break. Enjoy whatever you're reading anyway!**

**For those of you who will continue to read, I don't think I can convey my gratitude enough. I love you. Completely. **

**I encourage old readers to go back and read a few chapters so you get your bearings. I could do a summary but it would end up being a length of a novel itself. The important factors contributing to this update are: Edward and Bella had a fight Friday night when they were out on a date and bumped into a girl called Emily who Edward used to date . . . This is now Sunday, and they have just left Edward's grandfather's funeral where Bella met up with him. **

**Sorry, it's short, but it's the promise of lots more. **

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS. _

38. Moving On to Take a New Step

Edward offered to take me out, but I turned it down. I didn't want to go somewhere public; as nice as some warm food would be right now, it wasn't what I wanted the most. What I sought was comfort, and although food was a promising way to get there, it probably wasn't the best option.

Besides, the thought of being somewhere crowded had me feeling like I wanted to curl in on myself. I wanted to be surrounded by stillness, and warmth. What I really wanted was some sort of calming, physical contact, but I realised if I was going to be lucky enough to get it, I had to barrel on through this upcoming conversation. I had to grow up. It was immaturity in the first place that led this small tiff to erupt in the first place.

It had ended up being a tossup between his place and mine. Both would be empty, so the decision was based on convenience and the fact that Edward's place was closer. The drive wasn't at all silent, but it wasn't filled with passionate debate, either. I kept my hands tucked together tightly in my lap, hopefully the only thing that gave away my nerves, and noted that Edward's jaw was a little tighter than normal when he talked, too.

Still, this was good. Miles better than the last twenty-four hours had been. I was certain the last traces of hesitance and apprehension would be dissolved completely before too long, diluting the murky waters of uncertainty with a shared understanding. And I _wanted_ to understand. I wanted to understand everything about him, as much as I could.

"Um, where do you want to sit?" Edward asked once we'd arrived and entered the house. I was becoming used to its ostentatious mass, adjusted to its boastful classiness. Habituation occurred once the knowledge that it was merely a front, and a material one at that, was gained, and I was fairly sure I'd reached that point. When I looked around, all I noticed now was little pieces of Edward. Even the connections to Emmett only served to disclose more information about this person I was infatuated with.

I looked towards him now, as he stood by the back of the couch in the main living room, looking uncharacteristically awkward. It was strange; almost like we were beginning to rub off on each other, or at least channel the other one's emotions. Decidedly thankful that he hadn't taken us to his bedroom—I had enough to deal with as it was already without the distraction of _that_ thrown into the mix—I happily shrugged my shoulders in an over-exaggerated movement and smiled up at him.

He gave a small smile back and shrugged, too, echoing my movements. "Sit wherever then. Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine," I said, and then made the first move, wanting to come off relaxed and casual because he certainly wasn't. I sat on the large, three-seater beige couch, noting with a hint of a smile the cushions thrown off it onto the floor. Esme was definitely the one behind the decor in here; only she would have thought of pillows.

I slid my feet out of my shoes and tucked my feet, covered by tights, underneath me as I got comfortable. Edward waited a moment more, and then came to me, sitting on the couch with me, turning his body so he was facing me. There was a good foot of space between us. I liked the way he sat down, sprawling his long body in a sloppy yet graceful way into a position that looked a lot more natural than mine.

"So . . ." I said, hands in my lap yet again. I hesitated upon laughing, because the urge was definitely there; this whole situation was backwards for us.

Edward caught the look in my eyes and let out a quiet chuckle of his own. "So," he agreed.

I sat up a bit straighter. "Well I'd really like to get through this, just so we can move on. I don't know where to begin, but . . ."

And that was apparently all Edward really needed to get started, because it appeared he did.

"I'm sorry. I know I said that before, but I really am," he said, looking right at me.

I shook my head, but didn't drop his gaze. "No, I am, too. I didn't really handle that situation well Friday night. And I know I came off rude, I don't"—I took a breath in, forcing these words out because they were hard—" I don't have anything to go by, if you know what I mean, when it comes to all of . . . this stuff."

I hoped he knew what I was referring to, and what I was talking about. I felt like I wasn't coming off very clear.

"I mean, I've never done anything like this." I was brave enough to still maintain eye contact with him through that, but afterwards I dropped my eyes down briefly. Looking into that fervent green made my mind and body feel weird things.

"I didn't want to come off jealous. I mean, I don't want to. And I don't want to be immature, but I think . . ." That I _was_ jealous. I was _crazy_ jealous. "I think I just felt really insecure about the whole thing. I mean, you were—are—right. We've never really talked—talked about stuff." I looked up again, feeling like I was making less sense as I went on and begging that he understood because that was the best way I could describe everything. I didn't think I would be able to get the courage up to repeat myself.

Amazingly, he did understand. I guess I should have been expecting it.

His voice was quiet, but steady—a lot steadier than mine had been.

"If you want, I'd like to talk about that stuff with you," he said, and I part of me inside tried to break out of my ribcage. That was like hearing Edward say he wanted his business about . . . it . . . to be mine, all over again.

I nodded slowly, feeling my cheeks, my entire face and body, grow a little warmer. I couldn't talk, but luckily I didn't have to.

"I would like to just say though, what you asked, about Emily . . . it was fair enough, it just caught me off guard and I got overly defensive," he explained, looking tired. "I didn't mean to talk to you like that. It came all out of my mouth wrong; I just didn't want to answer the question."

Edward sounded troubled as he ran a hand through his hair. "You keep saying you handled the situation badly, but I think I did. When we bumped into Emily I was just so surprised I forgot about everything else, like properly introducing her to you. And then in the car when I was angry, and I said I wasn't really hanging out with anyone but you . . . God. When you got out of the car, I felt like shit because those words didn't sound like I wanted them to and I couldn't explain it then. I don't mean I blame or—or resent you or anything for the way things have turned out with me and my friends. I'm actually thankful. I just meant . . . well I don't really know what I meant, just not that."

He was being so honest that all I could do was look up at him with big eyes and nod, allowing him to continue, because it looked, from the tense set of his shoulders, like he wanted to.

He swallowed before continuing. "I met Emily . . . Nearly three years ago now. We went out for about five, maybe six months a year after that. I don't know if I'm supposed to be saying this to you, but she's nice." Edward looked at me, dead seriousness in his eyes. "She's really nice; you'd probably like her, actually. Not everyone that socialises with Tanya is necessarily bad. I mean, like I can judge people on that."

I twisted the fabric of my dress in my hands, digesting what he was saying. The envious person residing somewhere in the darkness of my stomach resented hearing him talk about this girl in such a positive light, but the practical side, the one that reasoned with my head, told me to settle down. The fact that he was being truthful could never be a negative thing, right? And the fact he had respect for her—didn't that show positive aspects of his personality? At least I knew the people he 'went out' with weren't all hideous mistakes. Like Tanya.

"And, um, we . . . Well she was my first," he added, almost hesitant about relaying that bit of information to me. My hands twisted tighter in the fabric of my dress; I knew he wasn't referring to kisses. "And pretty soon it broke down but not in a bad way; we just realised we were better as friends. She moved away a year later, and although we still remained in contact, I haven't spoken to her in… God. Months. Like half a year."

He had clearly finished his story. My eyes crept up from my lap to take in his face again cautiously. Although I wasn't necessarily feeling fantastic, I gave him a small smile, a tentative one that relayed appreciation rather than happiness, and shifted my body a little, making noise to fill up the silence. He just kept looking at me, an unfathomable expression on his face.

"Thanks for telling me that," I said softly, meaning it, because I knew it was important but I also knew it must have been hard. "And I'm sorry."

This made a side of his mouth perk up a little, but the rest of his face remained somewhat stoical. "I think it's been thoroughly established that we are both sorry," he noted.

I looked back to the couch. "I don't . . . Well I don't want things to turn out like that again between us," I confessed. "It happened so quickly. And I know I was the one to get out of the car. I didn't think I could stay, that's all."

Edward was silent for a pause, and I was almost about to look up at his face again due to the lapse of silence. Then he said, "Don't regret it. I mean, it sucked." He breathed out a gush of air, like he was almost laughing, but clearly not in amusement. "I'm going to be really honest here and tell you I don't think I've felt that shit in ages, so if that's any indication of how reliant I am on you, well . . ." He trailed off, and from my peripherals I could see the movement of him shaking his head.

I wanted to speak, to tell him it was the same for me, but something seemed stuck in my throat. And then the moment had passed and he was continuing on, and I was glancing up at him with eyes that I'm sure conveyed somewhere in the depths of the clear terror there my regret, also.

More resolute this time, he added, "I just know you, and I don't want you to feel bad or get stuck on what happened Friday night. We can just move on. I mean, if you want to. Because I screwed up, but at least it happened earlier on, and not later, when it could have escalated into something bigger. And . . ."

I reached forward, touching his arm, and he stopped what he was saying to stare at me. I swallowed, feeling the rarity of me initiating the physical contact create the heavy pause in the air.

"You're right," I said. "I think . . . I think I should have just stayed, and we could have sorted it out then. What made it take an extra day was the fact that I ran away. I just get so overwhelmed . . ." I bit my lip, but didn't look away.

He held my gaze for a couple of thick heartbeats, and then his eyes dropped to rest on my hand clutching his arm. Slowly, with a mixture of absent-mindedness and absolute focus, he moved his own hand over to place it on top of mine.

"I . . . really like you, Bella," he murmured, twining his fingers into mine. I watched, transfixed, at the sight of his hands, so large in contrast to my own, reveal the man he was growing into, the one he was rapidly becoming. And I felt something, something sharp and acute twist in my chest when I realised how lucky I was to be able to be there to watch it happen. And I realised I wanted to continue to watch it happen; I didn't think I'd ever stop.

That aching want didn't know _how_ stop itself. I wasn't even sure if I wanted it to discover how, either; the feeling was both thrilling and terrifying and utterly consuming.

So instead of hiding, or smiling, or fidgeting, or any of the little things I normally did to try and escape away from it, I looked right back at him and took a deep breath, so happy to hear him say such a simple thing.

"I really like you too," I whispered. The hushed volume of my words was not planned, but I couldn't produce them any other way; they were hard and struggled to come out of my mouth. I exhaled loudly, so loudly that I knew he heard it, and the slight embarrassment I felt stained my cheeks slightly red.

But then he grinned. And it was a grin so amazing I was so glad I hadn't missed it, that my hair wasn't there in the way to offer the temptation of cover. Because it was one of the best things I'd ever seen, and I didn't want anything disrupting it.

"So is it safe enough to ask you a question now, then?" he wondered, still playing with my fingers.

Feeling a grin of my own come onto face and finding it impossible to get rid of, I nodded, my happiness having surged to a high height in a frighteningly minimal time. My face was hurting from the physical strain of my smile, and I didn't even bother to think of what I looked like, I was too busy taking in Edward.

He paused, and then ducked his head in closer to me. Without a hint of indecision, he asked, "Can I call you my girlfriend?"

Without blinking, I went positively red just keeping my eyes trained on his face, and then let out a whispered "Yes."

His responding smile was so shattering it put his previous one to shame.

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* * *

**Chapters will gradually grow in length as I continue to get more into it. Thank you for everyone's infinte patience. (:**

**To cake123: This is the answer to your question; break time is over. I have no idea why, but I'm unable to respond to you. **

**See you soon!**


	39. Rushed Mornings and Mature Talks

**Hope you have fun with this one :)**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

39. Rushed Mornings and Mature Talks

The next week of school rushed on by like a blur. With my head already spinning due to this newly announced "relationship" between Edward I, the rapid rate that time flew at almost left me feeling nauseas.

Expectantly, the gossip started immediately. Sparked by the way Edward leant in to kiss me on the cheek as a way of greeting on Monday morning—his lips, lingering a little too long on my blushing face—it had fully ignited by lunch time, when it was clear we both had the badly obvious case of laughing at anything and everything when together. And we were together a _lot_. All the time. And, strangely enough, I didn't find it suffocating.

It was almost liberating, for lack of a better word. When Alice found out the news on Sunday night, her response was a quiet one. She didn't need to ask questions, I guess; all the answers had already whispered their way into my smile, and her reaction to the topic was clear in that big, fat, stupid grin slathered all over her knowing face. Later, when she'd asked me what I thought about the new development, I'd answered in a distorted mumble, my answer all over the place and yet to be formed into words. I didn't want to say it, to have to explain why the word _liberating_ came to mind. It sounded silly to say aloud. The best way I could comprehend the phrase in my own head was that this was hopefully the end of all that uncertainty, that crippling doubt and hesitation that seemed to seize both my body and my mind whenever it came into contact with Edward, envisioned or real.

It was the end of that; it wasn't necessary to question his actions when I knew straight-forwardly what they entailed. And I was working on over thinking my _own_ actions and the things I said. It was hard to shake self-consciousness, but it was essential to remind myself that Edward clearly didn't have a problem with me being me, if he had indeed coined me the term "girlfriend."

A term I was still coming to terms with, believe me.

The first time Edward actually said it was Wednesday: and while secretly thrilled, I was hoping madly that the fact I would recall it so well did not make me seemingly pathetic.

Spending so much time with Edward couldn't ever be considered a bad thing, but it did come with its downsides.

Sometimes I would wonder what school would be like if it wasn't fuelled by the wildfire gossip that erupted and spread until it had reached everything it could burn. If it was just left to die out, with no arsonist there to pick up the pieces, rearrange them and ignite the fire again. Because sometimes it just got to me. Especially now: I was nobody special, but being seen on the arm of someone others considered to be indefinitely so made me the topic of the hour. I guess rumours had been circulated the past month since I'd known Edward, but now that the rumours were confirmed by our new 'label', they became particularly harsh.

And who needed that? I didn't, and I knew Edward had had enough of it to last a lifetime. This was a high school; acting like it was a celebrity scandal exposed to the flashing paparazzi was ridiculous, not to mention juvenile.

Plus, I didn't quite enjoy being posed as the scandal in that scenario.

The other factor that rained on my otherwise jovial and over-the-moon parade was the guilt that would creep up over spending so much time with Edward. I even did all my afternoon homework with him at his dining table that past week. When I voiced my regrets to Alice, however, she rolled her eyes, told me I was beyond paranoid and that it was "so normal" considering we were going through "the honeymoon phase" to be "obsessed" with each other, and did I ever think that maybe she did not want to spend time around that "frighteningly intense mush" right about now?

This put an end to my worrying over being a neglectful friend.

And so the week rushed past, lingering in some spots and sprinting away in others. It was why, by the end of it, I found myself exhausted.

"Oh please," Alice drawled lazily, "stop acting out like you're the only person in the world who has ever snagged themselves a boyfriend. Even if said boyfriend is practically a god, there's no need to be so dramatic about it. It does get ever so tiring," she added while passing the back of her hand over her mouth to cover the huge and fake yawn that followed.

I threw a pillow at her.

"Shut up."

Alice just grinned, her expression still idle as she lounged, stretched out on her bed like royalty. "You must admit, I _do_ have a point." And she chucked the pillow right back at me.

"Actually," I said, "I think the point should be that _you_ are feeling very sour because _you_ don't have one. Have I hit the goldmine yet?"

Alice faked a wince. "Ooh, harsh." Her false hurt couldn't be demonstrated for very long, and I watched as her contorted face soon relaxed into an expression of mild and indolent amusement as we lay out on her bed late Sunday night.

"Speaking of," she began, struggling to sit up a little more to give me proper eye contact, "I wanted to know if you think I should just ask Jasper out already."

I registered what she was saying with a bemused and slightly befuddled smile. We'd been lying on her bed talking for well over an hour, and this was the first time she's broached this particular subject. She spoke the words so offhandedly; they took me a little aback.

"You're asking me for my opinion?"

"Well, yeah," Alice said, like she couldn't understand my reaction. "What's with the face? Do you honestly think he'd say no?"

I shook my head immediately, wanting to dispel that assumption right away. "No, I don't think he'd say no, actually." And I truly didn't. "I think he'd jump for it. My puzzlement is in the strangeness of this conversation: Since when do you ask me for that sort of advice? I'm the rooky."

Alice's shoulders visibly relaxed, and she became idle once more. "Eh. Since now. It shouldn't come as that big of a surprise; as you mentioned before, who's the boyfriend-less one in this pairing?"

I just shook my head again, slowly this time. "Wow. I know I said that, Al, but I was joking; don't repeat it. It sounds bad." Alice giggled, and I rubbed my palms together in my lap while thinking, smiling as well.

"Well . . ." I said eventually, and Alice let out an impatient "Yes?"

"I think you should do it."

"Really?" Alice looked wickedly happy, but almost taken aback at my response, like she hadn't fathomed it. Which was slightly ridiculous, but who was I to judge? She leant forwards once more, tense with the conversation. "When?"

"Oh, about eight months ago, if you're in a rush."

She threw her head back and let out a dramatically irritated groan, understanding what I meant straight away. "Ughh, don't say that! I know, it's been a while. . . It's just such a big deal for me. I mean, I only feel now that I actually know him really well." She perked her head back up and peered at me. "I think I will though."

I smiled, happy for her. "Great. May I ask, what made you decide that now?"

Alice shrugged, but answered my question straight after the gesture. Running a hand through the short strands of her hair, she said, "I've been thinking about it for a while now. I made that speech a week or so ago about 'taking things slow' with Jasper, enjoying the slow steadiness of it . . ." She trailed off and gave a sheepish grin. "But I just kind of realised: I'm sick of waiting. Plus, I don't know _why_ I'm waiting, or what exactly for."

Then her eyes gave me a steady look. "And if you and Edward finally did it, why shouldn't I be able to ask Jasper Whitlock on one measly date?"

I smiled, happy for her, but not above teasing her back after the obvious quip. "Oh, so this god-like boyfriend of mine and our relationship has inspired you, has it?"

Alice's answering smile was sickly and angelically sweet. "Oh, Bella. I can just hear your exultance in the way you phrase the word 'boyfriend' and 'relationship'. Maybe you should lay off the emphasis you put on those words; you wouldn't want to be _obviously_ happy or anything."

I laughed, and she laughed along with me, replacing that expression with a much more genuine one.

"This is fun!" she decided happily a brief moment later.

"What, talking?"

"The whole thing, silly." Alice's eyes were alight with earnest excitement and a little devilish intent. "It's late, you're up past your bedtime, breaking the rules . . . On a Sunday night, might I add. My oh my, Bella, what _has_ this boy done to you."

I went to retort, but she kept speaking.

". . . And we get to talk about boys. Whoever said that girlfriends weren't important was completely kidding themselves." I opened my mouth again to speak, but once more, Alice beat me to it. "_Or_, I _guess_," she continued, apparently oblivious, "maybe these people grew up in a society where women were as scarce as four-leaf clovers and so they decided boys would cut it for every department." She shook her head. "How wrong they were. Apart from holding bags, I've never met a boy who's a great shopping partner; they're usually as dreadful as you."

I interrupted, ignoring the last part. "Actually I never heard anyone say that girlfriends weren't important."

Alice zoned back in long enough to look me straight in the eye and lift her chin up a bit. "Hmph. Maybe. Perhaps it was something some old aunt of mine said . . . Or maybe it was even a _dream_ . . ."

"Well, sorry to ruin this excitement for you, but you've reminded me of the circumstances and I think—"

"Oh no!" Alice protested immedianlty, cutting me off. The dreamy quality to her face dissolved completely, no traces of it left. She leapt up properly and flung herself forward to place her hands over my arm. "Don't go all straight-laced on me so soon! I was enjoying this new element to you!"

I made a face, frowning a little, easily ignoring her grip. "But you don't even know what I was going to say!"

She rolled her eyes, loosening the hold and she sagged backwards. "Of course I do. You want to go to bed. You need sleep. _Blah_. And Blah."

"You left out the school-is-tomorrow part."

"Because it's boring. Ugh, now I'm depressed. Everything has become so tedious: Look what you've done. "Let's go back to talking about boyfie: You were happy then."

I calmly reached out to smooth her roughed-up hair. "It's alright, Alice, we'll talk in the morning. And I'm happy without needing to talk about Edward, okay? If you want to get into all this mush you've apparently been avoiding lately, _you_ make me happy. So there."

I went to get up, and Alice literally pouted. It looked comical, and a made me a want to laugh in a highly exasperated way.

"So how about a deal, then," Alice began, but I answered it before she went on.

"Not tonight, Alice."

"Okay, how about a bargain? I was going to say, come sleep over, but now I'll throw in the bribery of all the new exciting arty mags I got yesterday, which I'll let _you_ read, before me."

I laughed, shaking my head; if I hadn't known Alice for so long, and so well, I would be in total disbelief right now. "Okay, ignoring the blatant and obvious fact that a sleepover is practically impossible, impractical and idiotic considering we share an apartment, I know for a fact you've already read all of them. You've even shown me half the articles this morning, remember?"

Alice wore a baby blue top, hot pink pyjama pants and a resigned lower lip. "Fair is fair, I guess; I can't argue with that."

I turned around and picked up the discarded duvet she'd pushed off her bed before we took residence on it; in her flurry to remove all the clothing that covered its surface, she'd gone overboard.

'Here you go," I said, placing it down next to her. "Sleep well."

As I went to exit the room, Alice called out me.

"I love you, Bella."

And I smiled, because I knew it, and I knew full well she was aware I loved her too.

My phone buzzed just as I was grabbing my sweater from the couch. Shoving the bag on my shoulder higher up, I fumbled with it for a second as I tried to reach into its depths with one hand, while I tried to get my shoes on with the other.

"Alice!" I called out, accidently bumping my elbow onto the side table as I shoved my beat-up sneaker onto an extremely stubborn foot.

Finding my phone with one hand and exhaling a messy breath of triumph, I pulled it out, hit the call button and squished the cell between my shoulder and ear while both my hands got busy tying up laces.

"Hi," I said breathlessly into the phone, deftly tying a bow. "I mean, hello. We're coming. In just a second, I just need to grab—_ooumph_!"

Tripping over on my shoelaces as I tried to swap feet wasn't exactly new for me, particularly when I was in a rush. But it did stop me from speaking for a minute as I gained my balance and tried not to lose the phone.

"Whoa. Okay, sorry," I gushed, shoving the cell up higher for it had slipped and nearly fallen out of the tight wedge I'd formed with my head and shoulder.

There was a light laugh, and it was wonderful. "Is everything alright?"

"Yep. Just coming now." My neck was already sore.

"I'll come up and—"

"No!" I told him, perhaps a little loudly. There was no real problem with him coming up, but it was time consuming and we were already late. "No, we'll be there in"—I blew to the side of my face, trying to get the messy tangle of hair out of my face—"in just a moment."

"Okay, I'll see you in a minute then."

As soon as he'd clicked off I straightened up, snapped my phone shut and shouted "Alice!" again.

She waltzed out of her bedroom. I say waltzed, because she was most certainly in a bit of a rush, but not nearly a sloppy one as mine. Composed and bubbly, she was smiling as she raced into the kitchen to grab some form of food to take along for the ride. Her purple jacket swished gracefully with her movement.

"It's alright, I'm ready," Alice told me, shoving what she'd grabbed into her own black bag. She hesitated before closing the cupboard. "Have you eaten?"

I shook my head at her, too busy throwing the navy sweater over my head to really care. "Doesn't matter. Let's go."

We both raced out of the apartment, Alice managing to still look composed. I didn't know how she did it. We'd both slept in late, and even though Alice had been up for a small time longer than me, the difference in our appearance was staggering. Un-showered and hair un-brushed, I looked how it was: Like I'd just rolled out of bed and gotten up. Alice's hair still had mouse in it and was lightly styled to look effortlessly wind-blown, and slight touches of makeup touched her porcelain skin. She looked elegantly pushed for time.

I looked positively frazzled.

When we reached the silver car, however, I realised I didn't care at all.

Alice scrambled into the back while I took my place in the front, hurrying to close the door against the wind that had picked up. Edward was already leaning over to help, taking my bag and books from me and twisting round to place them on the floor in the backseat.

"Pheew, that wind's icy," Alice commented as she sorted out straightening her hair. I heard her grabbing for her seatbelt.

Edward's eyes met mine and we both smiled at the same time, but hesitated on doing anything else. The smile maybe lasted a second too long; it was our way of greeting, what with me being too shy to do anything else. Particularly with Alice in the back.

She didn't say anything, so I got the distinct impression she was trying to make her presence unknown for the brief moment that passed as her fidgeting stilled.

"Thanks for picking us up," I told him finally, my hand blindly reaching up to smooth down my wayward hair.

"Not a problem," Edward replied earnestly, and I couldn't help but think how nice it was that he offered so easily to not only go out of his way to take me to school, but to take my friend, too. It meant a lot to me that those two got along. "Things sounded pretty crazy on the phone."

I curled my shoulders inward a little bit, perhaps slightly sheepish. "Huh. Yeah . . . We were late." I glanced at the clock on the dash. "And, um, maybe we should leave." I guess our rush had worked out for the best, because we were only a few minutes behind our normal schedule: still, we were too late to get the bus and I hated cutting things too close.

Edward started up the engine straight away and sent a look in his rear-view mirror towards Alice as he pulled out. "How are you doing?" he asked her, entering the calm morning traffic.

I turned around with a smile to watch her perk right up.

"I'm fantastic," she said, grinning widely. "We all know that. Plus, the forecast predicted some small rays of sun this weekend, so everyone can consider the rest of my week lit up like a Broadway sign."

"I think you're the Broadway sign, actually," Edward said.

"True," I agreed happily. "She shines so bright."

"Stop it, you guys," Alice said swatting the air with her hand. "A blush doesn't go with this outfit."

This made all three of us laugh.

"And I'll end up looking like Bella," Alice added in an undertone once the laughter abated. Her smile was one of expected ribbing, but what really surprised me and gave me a feeling of amazed chagrin was the way Edward let out a loud snicker at her words.

"Shut up," I told the car in general, and then poked Edward in the side while he drove. "And I don't know why you're laughing, that wasn't even that funny."

He shook his head, grinning. "No, but it was so true."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I opted to stay quiet instead. The rest of the car trip went quickly, and we pulled into school on time with an already-interesting morning under our belts.

Alice was out of the car in a dash, her energy boundless. After her decision last night to confront whatever it was that she had with Jasper—and had had for a very long time—she appeared even more confident, lively and contented than she had in a while.

"So I'm thinking we should really have that outing we've been discussing for an eternity with 'the gang'—you know, those oddballs we sit next to and have to put up with every lunch time," Alice said as the three of us made our way towards the main building. Her insult was completely empty, and she turned her head down to view Edward's and my clasped hands. "Of course, Edwardo, you are invited along too."

"That's good to know," Edward replied, clearly finding her words amusing, but keeping it mainly to himself.

Alice didn't just walk next to us as we strolled the short distance; she sort of orbited Edward and I, flitting around from one side to the other as she chatted. Perhaps others found it odd, but I liked it. It worked a charm against all the stares and whispers that were still quietly circulating the student body. People looked, but the three of us were shielded and contained by the movement that Alice caused.

It wasn't like we were doing anything interesting, anyway. I didn't have the slightest concern in the world with holding Edward's hand; we'd done that since the beginning.

We made it inside and to the lockers unscathed, the energy bubble never once penetrated. I guess the news of Edward's and my relationship was a week old now, and by standards, way past its use by date.

"Ew, we have English first," Alice complained, slamming her locker shut angrily as I continued to rummage through mine. Edward stood off by the side, patiently waiting.

"Sorry, you won't hear any sympathy coming from me," I told her; we both knew it was my favourite subject. Alice loved her arts, and surprisingly enough, had a knack for Spanish, too. English didn't quite make it on her radar.

The bell rang, and I closed my locker and turned to face Edward. He had gym now, the poor guy. I suppose he wouldn't be hearing any sympathy from me, either, because I knew it was unwanted; he, like most boys, strangely enough loved rolling around in the mud and chasing after balls and jumping, or whatever else you were supposed to do in that hour of torture.

"I'll see you third," he told me, coming closer. This part was still so new to me and made me anxious. Almost sensing my uncertainty, Edward just folded me into him for a hug—I could barely do anything in return with my arms full of books, but enjoyed the warmth and comfort and _Edward_ness of it—and before letting go, pressed his mouth to my temple.

He backed away, raising his arm in a wave to Alice and me, and then he was gone.

"Gosh," sighed Alice from the height of my shoulder. "He's really something, isn't he?"

I exited the lunch hall, barely thinking about what was going on around me as I made my way towards the bathroom. When I reached the right door I gingerly pushed on it with both my hands, opening it up as I stepped on through.

I didn't know why, but I got a shock when I realised someone was already occupying one of the toilet stalls. Perhaps I'd just assumed it would be empty. But I got an even greater shock, and a stomach-dropping feeling of pity, when I heard what was going on in there.

The sound of retching was followed by the harsh noise of the flush, and then I was standing there watching and staring as Kate came stumbling out, understated in her movements and looking out of place in the situation; it was hard to believe I'd heard what I had.

"Hi," I said stupidly, because it was an immediate response. I wasn't sure if it was the best one, though. Perhaps shutting my mouth and getting on with my own business would have been better.

Kate stared at me. Her tight jeans and oversized silver jacket seemed out of place in the setting of the dingy bathroom. She sniffed a little, and then finally flipped her hair over her shoulder and strode past me towards the sinks.

I remained rooted to the spot, unsure what to do. Just as I finally went to move, Kate stopped me by saying, "It's alright; I know you know."

"What?" I asked, taken aback by the suddenness of her voice, almost swaying on the spot. I wished I could be less dramatic and perhaps a little more composed as a person; my movements were all over the place and awkward, even in the best of situations.

"Please," she said brusquely, rolling her eyes at me through the mirror. "I've never been the finger-down-the-throat type. Some people don't need to resort to that; it's all about genes, right?"

"Right," I said without understanding what I was saying or agreeing to.

She cocked her head at me, and then swivelled around to face me, crossing her arms over her chest. "So you and Edward, huh?"

This sent a warning flare off in my head; this was possibly the last thing I wanted to be discussing in this situation with this particular person. Things were already strained and weird enough.

When I didn't reply, she smirked. "It's alright," she said again. "But I guess I can understand you not saying anything about it. Don't think I would be eager to, either. That boy causes so much trouble."

This didn't seem an entirely fair assessment, but I kept my mouth closed anyway, figuring it was best to shut down this conversation as quickly as possible.

"Look," I began, "I'm just—" But Kate cut me off.

"Please, don't start talking about all that crap. I'm hormonal and a mess; so not what I want to hear right now. If you're going to be self-righteous and talk about how I represent a horrible party, yeah, I'm over it. You may be entitled but I don't really care right now."

"I wasn't, actually," I said with a large exhale. "So thanks."

Kate's rock hard expression softened ever so much, but her posture didn't change. "Okay, let's forget about that then. I know I sound like a brat. I'm just pretty screwed over right about now."

My foot twisted onto the tile floor awkwardly. "Well, I'm sorry to hear th—"

"No, don't," Kate interrupted again, huffing out loud with an exaggerated irritation. "Any crack shot at sympathy is the last thing I need as well. Like I said, I know you know. So you don't have to tiptoe around the issue with me. I would tell you to not to mention it to anyone else, but word hasn't really gotten around so I'm already assuming you haven't. So I guess I might owe you thanks. But let's just leave it."

"What are you going to do?" The words were out of my mouth before I could make sense of them.

Kate shrugged, all false bravado, but where she couldn't control it, some worry and stress showed on her forehead, showing her for the scared and troubled teenager she was.

"No idea. The father's some dick who couldn't use his right; it's probably better he wants nothing to do with it. The last thing I would want was to be forced to hang around some loser I hooked up with when I was off my face for the rest of my life. God." She scrunched her face up, her balled fist resting on her forehead. "Everyone will be able to tell soon."

I swallowed, way past my comfort zone. I wouldn't even know how to properly navigate my way around this situation if it was with one of my friends.

"So you're keeping it?"

"Obviously. Getting rid of it would be even worse."

"Do your parents know?"

"Hell no. They would lock me up. At least, I think they would."

It was so bizarre, having this conversation with this enigmatic girl. Talking about her parents like they were any other parents in the world, not the guardians of the most popular people I knew.

"Well, maybe you should," I suggested timidly, not wanting her to clam up and get super brusque again. "You never know. And what you said is right: They're going to be able to tell something's up eventually."

She stared at me. "Why do you care, anyway?"

I didn't know how to answer that properly, so I told the truth instead. "I don't know."

She didn't reply, so after a moment's silence, I braved up and asked her my own question that had been rattling in my head. "How—How did you know that I knew you . . ."

"Were pregnant?" Kate finished for me, saying it without any emphasis at all: she could have been said the name of a vegetable for all the effect it seemed to have on her. "Assumed. Correctly, I guess. Jasper knows, he's actually helping out with me right now; Edward does. He's not an idiot, see. So it's obvious you would know, too."

She hadn't actually accused Edward of anything, but I wanted to defend him anyway. "Edward didn't just tell me, you know," I said. "I had a bit of an inkling and was talking about how I thought you were sick . . . It just sort of came out."

Kate waved away the worry. "Quit stressing. That's my job right now."

It was crazy, but that almost made me want to laugh. I could see the same reaction on Kate's face. We continued to stand there, two girls living a moment from a parallel universe.

"Well I've got to go," she said eventually, straightening up taller. "Thanks, I guess."

"Yeah, no problem," I murmured, stunned and kind of numb.

Kate forced a bit of a stale smile my way on her way out. "We should really stop with these bathroom chats. One more time, and it'll be some crazy-ass tradition. See you, Bella," she said over her shoulder, leaving me standing there in my confused state, now alone, in the empty bathroom.

I mentally shook myself and hurried on with my business. By the time I returned to the cafeteria, I couldn't see Kate anywhere, not even over at the hotspot with Tanya. I did see Edward, though, and as I settled back in to my place next to him, he didn't even ask what had taken me so long. He just placed a hand on my knee, making my body happy and thriving, and wordlessly offered up his drink for me to taste.

As my mouth covered the bit of plastic where his had previously been, he disengaged himself from the conversation and leant over to whisper in my ear, his breath hot and ticklish.

"You look so good right now."

And I was embarrassed.


	40. A Cake Kiss

**Thanks everyone :) I just wanted to apologise for the missing line breaks in the last chapter, there were four of them and when I posted it up, fanfiction ate them. Sorry if it caused any confusion. **

**I was so desperate to write this. Hope it doesn't show.**

_SM OWNS ALL CHARACTERS. THE TRUTH HURTS._

40. A Cake Kiss

"Hey, Bella," Mike said to me as I passed him in the hall. To be honest, I was on my way to Edward's locker and hadn't even seen him standing there against the wall. Feeling bad, I stopped walking and spun to face him, a smile on my face as I took his in.

"Hi, Mike. What's up?"

Weighted down by the books that were awkwardly clutched in my arms and feeling my hair fall in front of my eyes a little—I had no hands free to brush it back—I felt slightly ridiculous standing there in my plain, oversized sweater.

Still, I didn't want to be rude, and by the expression on Mike's face, he wasn't interested in my currently disorganised state—and not that particularly interested in me, either, if you get my drift. Which came as a sort of relief. My experience with boys was painfully limited and I had no clue how to turn that one down.

"I just wanted to say . . . I'm sorry. For, _you know_." He looked ill at ease and uncomfortable, and the harsh fluorescent lights of the school made his skin appear a less-than-healthy hue.

"Oh, that's alright . . ." I was pretty sure I was clued in on to what he was abstractly getting at, and I guess I was glad. His behaviour a couple weeks ago over a small misunderstanding had been childish, but not anything that had been extremely bothering to my preoccupied mind.

"Well, it's not really, and I know I was being stupid." He straightened his shoulders and looked me in the eye. His eyes were blue, matching the chequered pattern of his shirt; I briefly wondered if he knew it and had picked that top for that very reason.

"Mike, seriously, it's okay. I think you apologised about it before anyway . . ." I was fairly sure he had, if it could count as an apology, anyway.

Mike blew out some air from his mouth in a large exhale, looking relieved. The beginnings of the dimples he had were showing as he smiled. "Good. 'Cuz, you know, I may not be your awesome lab partner anymore, but I do want to be friends."

"Sure. We're friends," I assured him. I didn't touch on the lab partner topic, because it didn't seem entirely fair; I was far from complaining over the swap.

Mike seemed to take that as all the encouragement he needed. Always leaping straight into situations without much foreground, he smirked, looked me straight in the eye and said, "So, you and Cullen, huh?"

Any progress we might have made disintegrated. Wishing I had my hands free to move so I could at least break the stiff pose I was stuck in, I had just opened my mouth to reply when I saw something more interesting than the discouragement that was dying on my lips.

Edward, with the perfect timing he always seemed to possess, came slinking over in our direction. My eyes were glued to him, and Mike, noticing the direction of my gaze and the pause in my reply, turned his head and saw Edward approaching, too.

He'd reached me in a matter of seconds and went to slide one of his arms around me. Expecting his touch, he changed course last minute and surprised me when he took the huge pile of books off of me, instead. "Hey, beautiful."

His endearment was ridiculous and sunk into my reality just how oversized my sweater was. Relieved of the weight of horrible textbooks, I picked at the hem of it with my now-free hands as Edward nodded a hello to a staring Mike.

"Hi," was all Mike said. Then he shifted uncomfortably, cleared his throat, and said, "Well, I'm off. I'll meet you in class." He nodded once at me. "See you, Bella."

As he hurriedly walked off, both Edward and I watched as he turned around one time to look our way over his shoulder. It took him all of a second to notice our returned gazes and hurry off completely, this time not pausing to look behind him.

I felt a small twinge of pity.

I scrunched my nose up, tilting my head up to see Edward. "Maybe we're late."

Edward was still staring off down the hall after Mike, even though he wasn't in sight anymore.

"Maybe."

I resisted the urge to laugh. "Maybe you scared him off."

The teasing quality of my voice caused Edward to finally look down at me and meet my eyes with his own. Very quickly, a warm smile spread across his face and he didn't look away. When we did this—when we just looked at each other, and nothing else—it scared off the rest of the world. It was no longer there. "What are you looking so happy about?"

"Nothing," I said, a secret smile playing on my mouth. "Just you."

The final bell rang its warning and I sighed over the top of its shrill noise. "Biology—yay."

"You would make the best actress ever, you know," Edward commented as we began to walk in the direction of our classroom, perhaps a slightly quicker spring in our steps then the normal drifting pace we took things at.

The sarcasm was not lost on me but I let it be.

When I didn't reply, Edward said in a matter-of-fact voice, "I really don't like Newton."

My face whipped around to give him a funny look. "Yeah, alright. I remember you giving me that impression the first time we talked properly at school, remember?"

He ignored my expression and just shrugged. "I just thought I'd say it, that's all. The fact that I said it before just means it must be true." He slid his eyes to the side, probably trying to judge whether my annoyance was real or not. By the way I was dramatically rolling my eyes, it was clear it was not. "You should be happy I'm so thorough," he teased.

"Is that so?"

"It is so. Consistency is one of my many finer qualities."

"Along with bigheadedness, it seems. What do you mean by consistent, anyway?"

I was thinking about it even as I spoke the question aloud, and I guess his words did ring true in some respects. I was thinking along the lines of his musical tastes and hobbies, so when he answered, I was surprised by how far over in the left field it was, way past where I'd even thought to look for it.

"When I like something, I like something," he said, and feeling something in my chest do something strange I looked up to find him giving me a highly intense look, full of implications. Focusing on where I was walking, I tried not to fall over.

"Well give Mike a break anyway," I managed to get out.

I didn't look up but I could see peripherally that Edward broke the strong look off with a smirk that I could tell wasn't intended for me specifically. "Sorry. But if he keeps looking at you like that, I'm going to talk about it."

I gave him the eye. We'd had this argument before, I was sure. Edward might have been onto something before but I was sure it had passed by now. "Shoosh. If you keep talking, I'm going to make you carry my books."

Edward made a funny noise. "Huh, yeah. Just what the hell is with all this stuff, anyway?" He looked pointedly at my books as he spoke. "There's a library for a reason, you know, you don't need to become a portable one."

"It's just all the Biology books we need—I brought the prac one too. Do you—"

But I stopped speaking because we'd finally entered our classroom, clearly after the bell, and the teacher was giving us a highly unamused look. I hurried to my desk, Edward trailing right behind me as she continued with what she was saying. We quickly took our seats, and Edward silently thumped the pile of books between us on the table.

"—You'll find everything you need to know in your notes we took last Thursday," the teacher said to the class; clearly, we'd missed the beginning of her speech. "Just to recap for those who weren't here"—she eyed Edward and I for a heavy, lingering moment—"this activity, if done correctly, should demonstrate both osmosis and diffusion and it will be a chance for you to show me your knowledge on the topic. I expect a lot of insight and I want the correct terminology used—you'll lose marks if you can't identify the needed vocab."

She stopped and glanced down at the watch on her wrist. "And considering you only have this lesson to complete the prac . . ." She glanced up at stared at her class. "I'd stop wasting time and get right down to business. We'll be pushing it."

With that, the classroom dissolved into movement as students stood up to collect equipment from the trollies up front. A step behind, I looked to Edward for help but realised he was just as lost as me.

"Oi, Jared," Edward said, pitching his voice a little low. It was fairly noisy in the classroom now but he still didn't want his voice to carry.

Jared, occupying the table next to us, turned to look and raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner that seemed to be an attempt at casual coolness. Edward didn't need to ask. "Page forty-eight, man."

"Thanks."

Pretty quickly we'd flipped to the right page needed—I gave a small yet slightly satisfied smile at Edward when I realised we actually needed the books I'd brought—and were busy following the instructions on how to set up the experiment.

Edward wasn't stupid; it seemed to be the majority's general assumption (you know, beauty without the brains) but he was surprisingly intelligent; I guess he wasn't completely joking when he said he'd be a good lab partner.

I watched as he calmly took over from me as I tried to split apart the dialysis bag without breaking it. He ran it under the tap, filled it with water, emptied it, and then got to work tying a knot in the bottom of it while I stared and told myself to get to work on something else.

"So are you coming over tonight?" Edward asked a couple of minutes later, breaking the diligent silence we'd set as we got busy.

I smiled to myself, but he didn't look up from what he was doing to see it.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"I guess what we're doing." This time he did look at me and pretty soon he was mirroring my grin.

"We can do whatever you want," he told me, and I realised he was being sincere.

"Oh in that case, definitely. Let's bake a cake."

Edward snorted, but he didn't disagree, so I knew I'd won. We shut up after that and kept the rest of our conversation strictly biology-based because the teacher seemed to be lurking particularly close to our desk. The experiment in itself was rather simple but I was much more comfortable with the theory behind it, something I knew Edward differed with me on.

We packed up with the other kids and by the time the bell rang, were ready to head out with the rest of the class. With one more period left to go and then the rest of the day to ourselves, the added incentive of spending that time with Edward forced me into paying attention in calculus.

Alice was oddly quiet when I told her I was going home with Edward at the end of the day. When I asked if she'd rather I go home with her, she waved away my worry and practically scoffed at me. "I'm fine," she said. "Just preoccupied. Text me if you're going to—"

"I'm so not spending the night."

Alice turned to look at me. "I was going to say 'have dinner over there', but maybe you're thinking of slightly more fun stuff, huh?" She giggled at my face. "See you later."

Edward's house looked rather still and quiet when it finally peeked through the tall trees lining the long driveway we ascended. The afternoon had turned out to be stiller than the gusty morning and the sky, although grey, was now peaked with points of light where the distant sun broke through the clouds.

As usual, Edward seemed to have to shake off the automatic feeling of being uneasy when we stepped through the front door. Although fine when it was fully occupied, when there were fewer inhabitants around, he seemed to get conscious of the place. It was actually something I loved about him. It didn't matter how large or decadent his home was, as soon as I stepped through it he was taking my things from me and apologising for mess and offering me things to drink.

"I'm fine, I don't need anything," I said with a warm laugh after the third beverage was passed my way. Edward shut the cupboard and turned so he was leaning against it.

"Yeah, okay, I'll shut up now," he said, clearly aware of his behaviour.

I smiled at him, not wanting him to feel too bad. "It's okay; it's just a bit of politeness overkill."

Edward stepped out of the kitchen and came towards me. My palms fisted at my sides as I waited.

"I guess I just get a little crazy when you're here. I much prefer going to yours."

This came as a surprise to me; favouring my tiny little apartment with its broken couch and mismatched mugs to the grandeur of the current building I was standing in made no sense to me. "Ahh—yeah?" I said uncertainly as he stopped in front of me, his shoes making a soft squeak against the expensive white tile. "Why'd you offer to go here then?"

Edward shrugged. "It seems rude to invite myself around all the time, right? Besides, if I was at yours all the time I might have to start paying rent and you know how much of a miser I am."

"You are crazy," I decided. What he just said couldn't get any more false.

He grinned, but didn't say anything in response. We continued like this for a little while, smiling empty smiles that were only filled with immaterial thoughts of indolence and contentment. Pretty soon though, an idea found its way into my mind and replaced the meaning behind my grin. Edward noticed the shift in my expression and raised his eyebrows in question.

I cocked my head to the side. "So . . . Can we make this cake now?"

He let out a laugh, but I refused to be deterred. "Come on, it will be fun. We can make whatever type of cake you want . . .?"

"So you were being serious before?"

I refused to get embarrassed; I knew that wasn't what Edward wanted, anyway. In the back of my mind, my behaviour was reminding me of Alice's; I was used to being the indulging one, not the one wanting to drag someone into spontaneous baking with them. A lot of people took my character to be one of great maturity for this very reason, but I was just beginning to realise that I felt more mature now than ever, at the moment when I was ready to just say what I wanted and not worry over being laughed at.

Edward, in a lot of ways, was allowing me to explore a different side to me that didn't often get voiced. I didn't think he was aware of it, but I was beginning to be.

"Of course I was being serious, are you saying I'm a liar?" I replied. "I guess if you're _really_ averse to it . . ."

I didn't even have to use hopeful eyes or a quietly pleading smile. "Sure, alright," Edward sighed, rubbing the side of his face. He put his hand down and smiled, just for me. "So what do we do?"

* * *

Edward, it turned out, didn't bake. And I found it hilarious.

"I can't believe you've never made a cake before; that is insane."

"If you think _this_ is bad," he said, purposefully doing a shoddy job of sifting the flour—it poured over the side of the counter but he looked as if he couldn't care less—"I'd hate for you to ever come round on a night when Emmett and I have dinner, and it's _not_ takeout or something my mum dropped off."

"You're making such a mess!" I protested, amazed by it all, but then I knocked a spoon off the counter with my elbow and it landed on the pristine white tiles, face-down with butter.

I stared down at it for a second in shock, and then looked up to Edward who was choking on laughter. I took that as a sign to give it a rest.

We sat now in the lounge room facing each other, having favoured the floor over the large sofa for a reason that might never have actually existed. Having been talking for the past twenty minutes, we played our own laid-back version of twenty questions where the questions weren't numbered and the turns weren't always specified. The cake was forgotten about for the minute, safely abandoned in the oven with the timer on it.

"If you could travel anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would you go?"

I tossed this around in my head for a moment, thinking of specific locations, tourist attractions, weather . . . "Um . . . _Actually_, I probably would end up staying in Forks because I'd get so overwhelmed with choices I would be unable to make one in that amount of time."

Edward made a face. "That is pathetic."

I thought about this. "Yes, it is. You're right."

He waited, clearly expecting me to have something else to add to that, but it became apparent I didn't. "Alright, so if I dragged you through Europe, would you object?" he wondered.

I shook my head, eyes alight. "Definitely not; take me anywhere in Europe. I've never been." I was joking; not about wanting to go to Europe, but about spending the time with him. This is why I found it harder to laugh off what he said next, particularly when he didn't make it sound comical one bit.

Edward smiled, all warm and nice. "Alright then," he said softly, and I felt something inside me come alive. The crazy feeling in my stomach seemed to magnify when a question I hadn't thought to ask dawned on me.

"Hey," I said slowly, realising how quiet it had been. "Is Emmett home?" The past week when I'd been here, Emmett had always been mulling around in the background somewhere.

Edward didn't move and his expression didn't change. He just watched me silently, like he was looking for a particular response I might give. "No."

I nodded even slower, digesting this, but discarding it before I allowed myself to dwell on what it meant, scared the butterflies currently battering my insides would eat me alive.

"The best musical instrument is . . ."

I knew Edward was aware of my obvious topic change but he didn't push it or make fun of me for it. Instead he took my lame prompt in mock seriousness, and frowned. "That question is horrible. In fact, it's not even a question." He answered though, anyway, looking off to the left as he did so, his hands absent-mindedly picking at the rubber soles of his converse as I fought myself to remain composed. "Alright, if you were being mean and were going to make me choose, I'd have to say . . . guitar. You need a guitar."

This surprised me, and I was glad for the distraction. He was so at ease, but I was secretly wishing there was a small part of him behind his casual front that was just as scared at what being alone together meant as I was. "Seriously? But you play piano."

"Used to play piano," he corrected me, his eyes sliding back till they were on my face. "I quit two years ago when I was fifteen and realised just how unpopular that would probably have made me if people knew. Seems stupid now, of course." But he just shrugged.

"Favourite food?" Edward asked me, and I would have rolled my eyes at the lame question but I was the one who had started it all, anyway. It was like we were merely having this conversation on silly topics to avoid slipping into the subtext of what we perhaps wanted to say, or wanted to talk about. I wasn't quite ready, and maybe Edward was, maybe he wasn't, but he sensed my feelings either way and followed my lead on the matter. I appreciated it; the last thing I needed to do was get worked up in my imagination and turn shy again to escape it.

"You asked me that question a couple of weeks ago, remember?" I prompted, sitting up straighter and crossing my legs. "And I told you it was—"

"Pavlova, yeah . . . So why didn't we make that?"

"Because it's trickier and takes more time. Or I think so, anyway. Besides, you don't have enough eggs."

Edward, apparently earnestly interested in this all, furrowed his brow as he thought. It was the first time I suspected he wasn't just doing this for my benefit when he asked, "Do you even bake pavlova?"

"Yes," I told him, laughing. "Now it's my turn, stop asking questions."

"Bella," he said, and a soft sigh escaped the confinements of my smile, nearly reaching him. "What is it?" I wondered, almost able to see the happiness of it spread throughout the room and hover between our faces. It had already begun to get dark outside, but I only noticed it then when I realised half of Edward's face was bathed in shadow, making his features that more prominent.

"Did you know that—?"

"No!" I protested. "No more questions!" But despite the laughter in my voice, it was pitched quieter than before. Perhaps there was a part of me that was nervous to hear what he might say.

Edward smirked. I was almost too distracted by it to listen to his words, but I managed to catch them just in time.

"You have cake batter on your face, you know," he said, his smirk becoming that much wider as he watched the transformation on my face. Immediately my smile disappeared and my hands reached up to touch my face, blindly searching for it. Gone was hesitation and carefulness; the empty house had just vanished from my mind.

"What?" I said, mortified, but already I was beginning to smile again, just because of Edward's infectious laugh. "Where?"

He just shook his head, refusing to answer. Quickly I sprang to my feet, going to run out of the room but Edward got up with me. I'd barely taken a step before he was holding me, grabbing my hand to make me stay.

"Let go of me!" I almost shrieked, completely unaware at how loud we were now being, too caught up in the moment and laughing because Edward was tickling me. I wasn't even consciously aware of how close he was holding me, something I'd think back on and blush at once it had all passed.

I struggled against his arms; it didn't take very long to reach the doorway and we both shoved on through it, still laughing.

"Get it off me," I demanded between breathless laughs, pressing the side of my cheek against his bicep as he tightened his arms around me. He didn't answer and I twisted my head around, searching for a mirror in the house because I'd knew I'd seen one somewhere close by. The apparent batter on my face didn't mean a thing anymore; we were past that and were just playing now, swept away in ridiculous laughter. It was the explosion from all the ignored tension that had built up.

"Stop," Edward chuckled, but I just made a noise of protest and ducked my way under his arm, finally getting past him and racing for the front hall. It was pretty dark all through the house now, almost abandoned-looking with the curtains undrawn, allowing the moonlight to flood on through; neither of us noticed any of it.

I didn't make it very far but that didn't matter. Edward grabbed me this time in a vice-like grip and turned me so I faced him; I struggled half-heartedly, tired-out in the very brief burst of activity. I could feel how red my cheeks were, warm from just looking at him, feeling him; hearing his laughs. Finally he looked at me, right in the eyes, and he slowed his laughter down until all that remained was a smile, unbidden and warm, all sorts of special on his face.

His arms loosened from around me but I didn't try to get away. I'd forgotten what I was doing.

Still slightly breathless, my heartbeat filled my ears as I watched, unblinking, as Edward reached just one of his hands up and gently touched the very corner of my mouth with his finger.

"Right there," he told me quietly, but I didn't move. I was unable to, so busy just watching him. The sounds of my breaths filled the small spaces between us and they quickened considerably when he leant in to kiss me, his lips finding the exact spot that he'd just touched, lingering there, warm and soft. My skin alighted on fire the moment he reached it, and I helplessly burned with the feeling that crawled through my entire body, unable to escape it.

I was shaking. My eyes did not turn away from his until he leaned back and came to me once again, this time finding my mouth perfectly. And I could taste it, taste the batter in his mouth as he gently pressed on my chin, coaxing my mouth to open up and let him in.

This was all new to me; this type of kissing was something we'd never done before. I wanted to wait to see his eyes close but realised mine already had, and I wanted this moment to stop so I could make sense of it but didn't want it to end.

His mouth pressed firmer into mine and his hands slid down lower until they were roaming my back. It made me feel alive, centred in my body but free from it at the same time. I didn't know what I was doing but my own hands reached up to wind themselves in his hair. And it was glorious. When he pushed, I pushed back. I couldn't breathe but I was breathing too much, gasping and feeling and disbelieving that his tongue could be so great.

It was slow. But my heart was beating so fast. And I knew, that if I was on fire right now, then Edward was, too.

.

**See you soon.x**


End file.
